Adventures in the Underground City

Absolutely

Love your transcripts. I certainly couldn't do one that long. Keep up the good work!

William Leonard wrote:Absolutely

Love your transcripts. I certainly couldn't do one that long. Keep up the good work!

Haha, if you think this is long you should see Bikini Top. xD

William Leonard wrote:Absolutely

Love your transcripts. I certainly couldn't do one that long. Keep up the good work!

Why thank you William it's much appreciated, and nice to meet you by the way

Season 2 episode 20 (40)- "Internal Sunshine of the Spongy Mind"


Karen: (She turns her screen on as the scallops chirp outside) Ugh, what a rough night

Plankton: (He’s standing in front of her waiting for her to wake up) At last your awake just in time to see my latest invention…

Karen: Not a good time Sheldon can’t you just let me process my data first?

Plankton: No time, look… (He pulls the sheet of the invention)

Karen: Oh dear God, When was the last time you actually went into the Krusty Krab and tried to steal the formula without the aid of a useless machine?

Plankton: (Under his breath) I’ll show you useless machine

Karen: What did you say?

Plankton: Nothing dear

Karen: All you have to do is sneak into the Krusty Krab, you know that machine’s gonna fail anyway, look parts are already falling off

Plankton: No, that’s supposed to happen (He looks shifty)

Karen: How hard can it be too sneak in there? Your about the size of a jellybean

Plankton: Gee thanks

Karen: No, I just mean it’s not hard for you to get into the Krusty Krab

Plankton: Come on then we’ll go with your idea as you always think your right

Karen: That’s because I usually am (She walks towards the doors of the Chum Bucket) Come on I’ll provide a distraction (They both walk towards the Krusty Krab) Just sneak on inside and I‘ll distract the cashier (Plankton sneaks through the door making sure he is not getting noticed by anyone)

Squidward: Hey, what are you doing here?

Plankton: Drats he saw me, well it was worth a try, Karen lets go…uh (He turns around to see Squidward is talking to Karen) That’s my girl

Squidward: So…?

Karen: So what?

Squidward: Why are you here?

Karen: Oh that, I‘m here to, um, see you (She watches Plankton sneak towards the door of the kitchen) It’s Squidlerd right?

Squidward: Squidward thank you very much, Why do you want to see my? I hardly know you

Karen: Exactly, that’s why I’m here to get to know you

Squidward: Um, Well Ok… (Plankton reaches the kitchen door and signals for Karen) So what is it you… (Karen rolls into the kitchen following Plankton) …I guess she didn’t have her manners turned on (Squidward continues reading his magazine)

Spongebob: (He places a Krabby Patty on to a plate) If you weren’t edible I’d so marry you (Karen walks into the kitchen) Karen?

Karen: Hello Spongebob

Spongebob: What are you doing here?

Karen: Just passing by

Spongebob: I think you should leave (Plankton picks up a Krabby Patty and sneaks out the door)

Karen: Your right, I should go, see ya (She rolls out the kitchen after Plankton)

Plankton: I can't believe I've actually got a Krabby Patty!

Karen: Shush we can celebrate outside

Plankton: What's the point, Krabs is too old to hear us and Squidward is too busy admiring... (He hits into the door of the Krusty Krab and it scans him) Uh oh

Machine: Plankton alert! Plankton alert! (Plankton tries too run away)

Spongebob: (He bursts out the kitchen) Plankton! Where?

Squidward: (Reading his magazine he signals towards the doors)

Mr Krabs: (He runs out of his office) Get him lad (Spongebob chases Plankton out the Krusty Krab)

Spongebob: Give that back, it doesn't belong to you

Plankton: It does now (He laughs but hits into the doors of the Chum Bucket) What’s with all these doors today? (The Krabby Patty rolls along the floor and Spongebob picks it up)

Spongebob: Sorry Plankton but evil never wins, well sometimes but not that often (He laughs and walks back into the Krusty Krab)

Plankton: How did I come so close and loose it over such a stupid mistake? (He turns around and hits into the doors of the Chum Bucket) Stupid doors (He storms into the Chum Bucket)

Karen: (Plankton walks into the lab) Honey I’ve warmed the analyser up so just pop the Krabby Patty in…

Plankton: I don’t have it and I don’t want to talk about why I don’t…

Karen: …But you ran here with it you reached the damn doors, Krabs may as well of handed it to you…

Plankton: I said I don’t want to talk about it (He walks to his bedroom) How could I have made such an amateur mistake? Anyone with a brain could have got it (He has an idea) Or inside someone’s brain (He laughs evilly)

Karen: (From down the stairs) Keep it down up there

Plankton: (He quietly laughs evilly) Wait…Why am I laughing? Oh yes, or inside someone’s brain (He continues to laugh)

Spongebob: (He walks into Mr Krabs’ office to see Mr Krabs and Klarisse sitting at the desk) I’ve got the Krabby Patty from Plankton sir

Mr Krabs: Well done lad (He puts it into the safe) That’ll teach Plankton for trying to run a business

Klarisse: (Spongebob walks towards the door) Don’t forget the wedding’s next week, Spongebob

Spongebob: Who could forget? (He walks out the office then sticks his head back around the door) …When did you say it was again? (Krabs and Klarisse look at each other)

Karen: (He knocks on Plankton’s bedroom door) Plankton come downstairs

Plankton: Don’t come in (He locks the door)

Karen: Don’t lock the door on me, who’ve you got in there? (She knocks louder)

Plankton: No one, just go away

Karen: Have you got another woman in there?

Plankton: No, just a machine

Karen: Oh so you’ve replaced me (She aims a ray gun at the door) I didn’t want to do this considering we probably can’t afford another door but you left me no choice (She burns the door down with a heat ray)

Plankton: (He stands up when the smoke lifts) I knew I shouldn’t have given you that heat ray

Karen: Right where is she?

Plankton: If by she you mean he and by he you mean it, then it’s right here

Karen: Huh? (She sees a clone of Plankton standing behind him) What have you done now?

Plankton: Well you gave me an idea…

Karen: Oh sure, blame me for your madness

Plankton: …And I decided to make a clone of myself and use my mind to enter the clone and retrieve the formula from my thoughts of that fateful day

Karen: You mean today?

Plankton: Yeah whatever (He turns the machine on) Now be a babe and shoot me

Karen: Wait a minute can’t you use those half finished stop watches you were working on? (She points at the two half finished stop watches by Plankton’s bed) …And stop time to get the formula?

Plankton: I’ll use them next season…

Karen: What, you mean Summer?

Plankton: Yes, now shoot me damn it (Karen aims the machine at Plankton and shoots him)

Karen: (She opens her eyes) Your not dead are you?

Plankton: Far from it, well not that far from it… I’m a spirit

Karen: So you mean you’re a ghost

Plankton: Well sort of

Karen: So you are dead

Plankton: NO! Well maybe a little… (He looks confused) …Well I don’t know but it doesn’t matter the main thing is that it worked better than I expected

Karen: Right then, now what?

Plankton: Well I’ll just enter my clones body and enter his memory, which is really my memory, of earlier today and make sure I stop what I did earlier and get the formula from myself

Karen: I didn’t understand a word you just said

Plankton: Not many do but it’s not important for you to know anyway (He goes towards the clones body) Here I go (His spirit gets sucked out the window and is blown across the town) HELP!

Karen: Why would he leave the window wide open? (She looks out the window to see Plankton flying off towards the Krusty Krab) Well it’s not my problem (She leaves the room)

Plankton: AH! (He flies through the sea and shoots into the Krusty Krab unaware where he is)

Spongebob: (He walks out the kitchen and talks to Squidward) You know it’s Mr Krabs’ wedding next week, what gift have you got the soon to be happy couple?

Squidward: Well me turning up should be a big enough gift

Plankton: (He zig zags across the room until he enters Spongebob’s head) What’s going on?

Spongebob: Ow (He clutches his head) My head really hurts

Squidward: Maybe you just lost another brain cell (He laughs)

Spongebob: I don’t think it’s that this time (He sits down and rubs his head) It really hurts

Plankton: (He falls into pitch darkness until he starts to float around in what seems like the night sky) I must have entered Spongebob’s mind (He looks around to see thousands of doors appearing in space) Hey Spongebob was there when he took the burger from me, so he must still have that memory in his mind and all I have to do is enter it and change what happened (He looks around to see loads more doors with red lettering on them) So all I need to do is find the door with June the third written on it (He looks at all the doors reading the lettering) It should be around here somewhere (He spots the door with “June the 3rd 2011” written on it) There it is (He opens the door) Here I go (He jumps in the door and floats to the ground, he slowly stands up clutching his side) Ooh my ganglion (He spots his past self running out the Krusty Krab with a Krabby Patty) There I am, well my earlier self (He runs up to his past self) Give me that (He takes the Krabby Patty and runs into the Chum Bucket) I can’t believe this actually worked (He runs through the hallway)

Spongebob: (He runs up to the Plankton that is standing by the doors of the Chum Bucket) Huh, where is it?

Plankton: (He rubs his head) I. Don’t. Know (He looks confused)

Karen: (Plankton runs into the lab) Honey I’ve warmed the analyser up so just pop the Krabby Patty in…

Plankton: …Great (He jumps up and throws the Krabby Patty into the analyser) This is gonna be so great (The whole of Bikini Bottom smashes leaving Plankton to get violently thrown around Spongebob’s mind) WHAT’S GOING ON?!

Spongebob: (In the Krusty Krab Spongebob is swinging upside down) Can I get down now Squidward? I don’t think this is helping my head

Squidward: I thought you wanted to feel better (Spongebob falls down and he dizzily runs to the bathroom)

Spongebob: Me good not (He falls to the ground hitting his head on his way down)

Plankton: AH! (There’s a huge explosion and Plankton wakes up in the sand to hear people screaming) Huh, am I back in Bikini Bottom? (He looks around to see the whole city tilting up and sliding down into the abyss while everyone continues to scream) What’s going on? Wait, I must have gone back in time to the day the whole town fell into that abyss (He thinks about that) But that’s impossible, I must be in Spongebob’s memory of that day (He has an idea) That’s it, I just need to find the door with June the 3rd 2011 on it and I’ll have the formula in no time, well hopefully (He looks around) Now where could it be? (He looks around and sees a door with red writing on it) There it is (He walks up to it and it says “One Thousand Too Many”) What the hell is this? The other doors must be somewhere inside this one (He opens it and falls inside and lands on top of Spongebob) Spongebob? (Another Spongebob turns around to see him)

Spongebob Clone: Plankton? (They all turn around)

Plankton: Not this again, have any of you seen a door around here?

Spongebob Clone: We see many things…

Plankton: Well did you see that?

Spongebob: No…Oh wait yeah over there (He points towards the door in front of him which reads “Sponanji“ on it)

Plankton: Thank you and goodbye (He walks towards the door)

Spongebob Clone: Take us with you (They all grab onto Plankton)

Plankton: I wouldn’t want to take one Spongebob, why would I want to take a thousand? (He kicks one and it stumbles backwards)

Plankton: That‘ll teach you for trying to be my friend (He goes through the door as all the Spongebob clones hold onto each other and fall over the cliff)

Spongebob: (In the Krusty Krab he walks out the bathroom but collapses onto the floor holding his head and screaming for help) HELP ME! Please help me (He starts to cry in pain)

Plankton: (He gets up off the ground to see a huge sea snake coming towards him and Spongebob and Squidward stepping over him and running into a cave) A sea snake, how original (He ducks down and the sea snake runs over him going off course and colliding into the hospital blowing itself up) That can’t be good

Spongebob: (He gets out the cave with Squidward) Were safe (He jumps up and down) But how? (He looks confused)

Plankton: Now where‘s that door? (He spots a door that reads “Chocolate With Nuts” on the front) How about in here? (He opens the door but he can’t enter it) Huh?

Deep voice: You are unable to enter this door for copyright reasons

Plankton: (He looks confused) Um, Ok I guess I’ll try this door (He walks up to a different door that has “Patrigeist” written on it) Wow who comes up with these snappy titles? (He opens the door and falls inside)

Spongebob: (He wakes up in Hospital to see all his friends around him) W-What happened?

Patrick: Hey everyone, he’s waking up

Mr Krabs: Patrick we can see, were not blind

Blind Fish: (He walks past) Shut up (He walks away)

Spongebob: Where am I?

Sandy: You collapsed little buddy, but everything’s all right…

Gil Gilliam: …Everything is not alright (He reveals himself from behind the curtain)

Sandy: Ok, everything’s not going to be alright but don’t worry everything’s going to be alright (She fakes a smile)

Mr Krabs: Why not doctor?

Gil Gilliam: It seems something is seriously wrong with Spongebob’s brain we will need to perform brain surgery before something serious happens

Squidward: I’m not sure you can perform brain surgery on something Spongebob doesn’t have, Doc (He laughs but no one else does) Get it? Because he’s so stupid (No one laughs) Forgive me for trying to raise a smile in this place

Plankton: (He keeps stepping through the doors, in the “Who Shot Sheldon J. Plankton?“ door he prevents himself from getting shot, Not saving the citizens in the oil covered Krusty Krab from “Bubble, Bubble Oil and Trouble” and accidentally prevents Spongebob from killing Doodlebob in the “Drawn 2 Life” door while in hospital Spongebob‘s condition is getting worse from his destroyed memories) This is the final memory in Spongebob’s mind, the doors got to be in here somewhere (He falls through the door and appears in a house he run’s around looking for the door) Where is it? (He runs up the stairs looking at the wallpaper) So wouldn’t have chosen that color

Young Harold: (Upstairs he’s reading to a baby Spongebob who’s fallen asleep) …And they all lived happily ever aft…

Plankton: (He’s watching from the door of the bedroom) Awh how sweet… (He bursts in shouting) …WHERE’S THE DOOR!

Young Harold: Goodnight S…WAH! (Baby Spongebob starts to cry) Who are you? What are you doing in my house?

Plankton: (He spots the door which reads “June the 3rd 2011”) Finally (He jumps through the door slamming it shut behind him)

Young Harold: (Picks baby Spongebob up) Don’t cry he’s gone now (He continues crying while in hospital Spongebob’s heart rate drops drastically)

Gil Gilliam: (He runs into the room) We need to perform brain surgery - immediately (A nurse wheels in a machine and connects it to Spongebob‘s head) Don’t panic young man

Spongebob: (He’s tossing and turning in the hospital bed) Plankton, Plankton, Plankton…

Plankton: (He falls out the sky and lands face down in the sand) Ooh my ganglion (He spots Plankton running out the Chum Bucket with a Krabby Patty) There I am, well my earlier self (He runs up to his past self) Give me that (He takes the Krabby Patty and runs into the Chum Bucket) I can’t believe this actually worked (He runs through the hallway)

Gil Gilliam: (He plugs the huge machine into Spongebob’s head and powers it up) We really should have tested this first

Plankton: …Great (He jumps up and throws the Krabby Patty into the analyser) This is gonna be so great…

Gil Gilliam: (He turns the machine on and it sends to Spongebob‘s brain glowing bright green) Oh dear (He runs out he room) I wasn’t here

Plankton: (The whole of Bikini Bottom smashes as the green glow collides with the powerful force of the explosion causing Spongebob’s mind to project over the town) What’s going on now? (He gets up and walks outside to see Doodlebob destroying the city, The Krusty Krab covered with oil and thousands of Spongebob clones) How did I know something like this was going to happen?

Gil Gilliam: (The nurse turns the machine off as the roof lifts up and a giant Doodlebob picks Spongebob up as Gil Gilliam walks back in and rubs his eyes in astonishment) Oh great I’ve been taking the patients medicine again (Doodlebob steps over the town with Spongebob in his hand)

Doodlebob: Spongebob die now (His eyes are filled with pure hatred)

Spongebob: (He gradually gains consciousness) Huh?… (He notices Doodlebob) Oh great I passed out on the operating table (Doodlebob throws Spongebob through the air across the town and into the oil covered Krusty Krab)

Mr Krabs: (Spongebob falls through the roof and oil starts to pour into the Krusty Krab) Spongebob it happened again (He lifts his feet out the oil while everyone else tries to climb out the hole in the roof but keep sliding down)

Spongebob: Oh no (All the electrical appliances in the Krusty Krab start to come to life) Why are all these things happening again? (He has a thought) Oh dear, if everything’s happening again that means…THE BOMB! (On the other side of town the bomb is beeping very loudly and glowing bright red)

Mr Krabs: What bomb?

Spongebob: When all the electrical items came to life Patrick disconnected that bomb remember?…

(Flashback)

Spongebob: Patrick was working at the Power Plant…

(End of Flashback)

Squidward: We don’t need a flashback we all remember

Mr Krabs: Well if everything’s reset itself surely Patrick will just deactivate the bomb again

Spongebob: But Patrick sacrificed his life last time

Mr Krabs: But he’ll do it again

Squidward: I don’t think he will…

Mr Krabs: Why not?

Squidward: (He points to Patrick who is sitting on a table eating a Krabby Patty)

Patrick: Hey, how’s it going? (He continues eating)

Mr Krabs: So the whole town’s gonna be destroyed if we don’t get out of here and deactivate the bomb?

Spongebob: Dead right

Mr Krabs: That won’t be the only thing dead in a minute (The oil keeps rising) We need to get out of here

Squidward: That would be a good idea (He rolls his eyes)

Mr Krabs: Well I don‘t see you coming up with a plan (They try to get out but they keep getting pulled down with the oil)

Plankton: (He’s in the new Chum Bucket mall listening into the Krusty Krab) What bomb are they talking about?

Karen: How is it whenever I hear the word “bomb” I always know you’re the problem

Plankton: I’m not the problem this time but I am part of the solution, I need to deactivated the bomb and save the whole town…

Karen: Ok, I’ll get dinner started (She walks into the kitchen)

Plankton: But I’ll need help and I know just the place to find it (He looks at the machine and walks towards it) Here I come Plankton’s (He steps through the door, floating through space he finds another door with “Soylent Canteen” written on it) I’m getting used to this (He gets up off the ground and notices he’s in the Chum Bucket, he puts his head around the corner to see his past self)

Past Plankton: (He’s grinding Chum with a giant sliver blade that is chopping it up) Almost there (Plankton captures the duplicate in a bag and steps on through the next door) Let me out of here

Plankton: Shut up, God I’m so annoying (He captures his past selves from the “Plankton’s Success”, “Nightmare on Conch Street” and “Controlled Freak” doors and returns through the door with all his past selves in the bag he quickly lets them out and they all stand up)

Past Plankton #2: What happened?

Past Plankton #3: I was just switching minds with Krabs now I’m here (He looks around at the other three Plankton’s)

Past Plankton #1: Yeah I was just about to be shot by Squilliam and now I’m back in the Chum Bucket?

Plankton: I’m sure your all pretty angry and sexy but I’ll explain later, Now follow me (They run outside sprinting past Lord Ooberton, jumping over Santa Claus and narrowly missing the parallel machine) Quick we don’t have long (They reach the machine but the Spongebob clones start to climb out from the cliff)

Plankton: Oh no not these guys (He hides his head in his hands)

Past Plankton #2: Why what happened?

Plankton: I kinda pushed them all over the cliff

Past Plankton #2: Oh

Spongebob clone: You tried to kill us, now were gonna kill you (They all surround the Plankton’s moving closer to them)

Plankton: Get out the way, we need to save the town from the bomb

Spongebob clone: We don’t believe you

Plankton: But the bombs right behind you IT’S BEEPING AND GLOWING BRIGHT RED!

Spongebob clone: We still don’t believe you

Past Plankton #3: Don’t worry, we’ll handle these guys or die trying (A Spongebob clone smashes him to the ground killing him)

Plankton: You two can handle them can’t you?

Plankton #2: Uh yeah (Plankton jumps over the Spongebob clones and runs towards the bomb while the Spongebob clones surround the two past Plankton’s)

Plankton #1: Uh hi (They pile on top of the Plankton’s)

Plankton: Hurry up Sheldon (He reaches the bomb and lunges towards it but the button doesn’t work) Please work, PLEASE (He keeps pressing the button but it won’t stop beeping) I need to be a hero (He runs away screaming) Were all gonna die! (He stops and turns back) No, I must to save the town (He walks up to the bomb and covers it with his body) At least I’ll be a hero like Patrick (He starts to cry) Goodnight Karen my sweet princess (The beeping stops) Yes, It didn’t blow u… (The bomb blows up) NO! (It tears a hole in the ocean sucking everything out of Spongebob’s mind) I’ve had enough explosions for today (Everything turns black as the sun rises on Bikini Bottom)

Karen: (She turns her screen on as the scallops chirp outside) Ugh, what a rough night

Plankton: (He’s standing in front of her waiting for her to wake up) At last your awake just in time to destroy my newest invention with me…

Karen: Destroy?

Plankton: Yeah, I’ve learned that this invention causes more pain than it’s worth (He smashes it up and looks out the window at the Krusty Krab) I will get your formula Krabs if it takes the rest of my life

Karen: (From the kitchen) Which it will

Plankton: You know Karen, Your not very nice to me

Karen: I know, but that’s why you love me

Plankton: True, What do you say to trying to steal the formula from Krabs the old fashioned way? Then I’ll take you out for dinner

Karen: I say: Bring it on (They walk out the Chum Bucket holding hands while walking towards the Krusty Krab)

Season 3 episode 1 (41)- "Wedding to Forget"


Mr Krabs: (He crosses the tenth of June off of his calendar as he looks at himself in the mirror, he‘s wearing a suit) Wow I do look handsome, if I weren’t marrying Klarisse I’d marry myself (He laughs as Spongebob walks into the room in a suit)

Spongebob: Oh Mr Krabs you old dog

Mr Krabs: Huh?

Spongebob: You look great

Mr Krabs: Thanks lad, you don’t look half bad yourself (Spongebob smiles)

Spongebob: (He pins a small flower to Mr Krabs’ suit) Now you look perfect

Mr Krabs: (Confused) Where did you get that?

Spongebob: It’s from Squidward just a little gift he offered…

Squidward: (He walks outside to his garden to see all his flowers have been trodden on) SPONGEBOB!…

Spongebob: Right so are you ready to g… (Mr Krabs’ cell phone rings)

Mr Krabs: One minute (He answers the phone) Yes? What do you mean you can’t drive my wife to the church? What do you mean I didn’t pay you? What do you mean screw me? (He puts the phone away) Oh great! The company I hired to drive Klarisse to the reception just cancelled at the last minute…

Spongebob: Why would they do that?

Mr Krabs: Something about them not receiving paymen…But that’s not important, without a classy boat I can’t get Klarisse to the church (He looks at Spongebob) Wait, Spongebob you can drive can’t you?

Spongebob: Well I’d like to think I can

Mr Krabs: Well what do you say to driving Klarisse to the church for me?

Spongebob: It would be an honour Sir but Mrs Puff said I shouldn’t drive for a while as I’ve got that red mark on my license

Mr Krabs: Can’t you do it for old Mr Krabs?

Spongebob: Are you sure she won’t mind?

Mr Krabs: I think I know Mrs Bluff a little more than she knows herself…

Spongebob: It’s Mrs Puff…

Mr Krabs: …Whatever, So is it a deal or what? (He shakes Mr Krabs’ claw)

Spongebob: (He drives through the streets in his boat mobile smashing into everything) Hey Mrs Puff, Look I’m driving (Mrs Puff watches in horror)

Mrs Puff: Go for a nice stroll they said, forget all your worries they said, shows what they freaking know (She covers her face)

Spongebob: Now where does she live again? (He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket not watching the road) 160 Seahorse Drive, Oh great not this place again (He stops outside the house and gets out the boat looking at the extremely damaged house) Doesn’t look like she’s heard of spring cleaning….Or cleaning in general (He walks to the door and knocks on it) Klarisse it’s me, are you ready? (He knocks again, louder) Klarisse are you in? (He knocks louder again) Anyone home? (There’s no reply so he walks away) She must already be at the church (He notices her bedroom light is left on) So she is home (He walks around the back and into her garden) Where is she? (He takes a step forward and falls through a trap door in the ground) AH! (He falls into an underground agency full of machines) W-Where am I? (He notices Klarisse talking to someone on a huge screen)

Klarisse: I’ll speak to you later… (The screen turns off as she turns around)

Spongebob: Klarisse! (He stands up) What’s going on?

Klarisse: Nothing, just go to the wedding

Spongebob: I’m not going until you tell me what’s going on (He steps back and a folder entitled “Eugene Harold Krabs” falls in front of him) What’s this? (He bends down to pick it up)

Klarisse: Don’t touch that…(She tries to grab it but Spongebob begins to read)

Spongebob: “Eugene Harold Krabs (Born November 30th 1942) is the owner of the Krusty Krab restaurant, he has a teenaged daughter by the name of Pearl Krabs and is thought to be the owner of the lost trillion dollar bill“…

Klarisse: Ok, Stop now… (She lunges towards him but he holds her back)

Spongebob: Wait there’s more “Agent selected for mission: Klarisse” (He looks at Klarisse) Now I understand, you were only trying to get close to Mr Krabs to see if he really stole the trillion dollar bill

Klarisse: It’s true, but you can’t tell Eugene, it’ll break his heart

Spongebob: I think your find Mr Krabs is as tough as nails…(Spongebob’s cell phone rings and he answers it)

Mr Krabs: Where are you lad? Is Klarisse alright? I couldn’t bare anything bad to happen to her

Spongebob: (He looks at Klarisse then listens to the desperation in Mr Krabs‘ voice) Everything’s fine, we’ll be there in a minute (He puts the phone down)

Klarisse: Thank you so mu… (She goes to hug Spongebob but he steps back)

Spongebob: I did it for Mr Krabs, not you…

Mr Krabs: (He’s at the front of the church) Just one more minute I swear she’ll be here

Priest: Lucky I charge by the hour (Spongebob runs into the church and Mr Krabs smiles as Klarisse enters the church)

Spongebob: (He slowly sits down next to Patrick)

Patrick: Hey buddy

Spongebob: Oh hi Patrick, I didn’t notice you there

Mr Krabs: (Klarisse slowly walks towards him) You look beautiful

Klarisse: You don’t look too bad yourself (They both smile at each other as the priest steps forward)

Priest: We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Eugene Harold Krabs and Klarisse Annabelle Kestell…

Spongebob: (He watches in anger) I can’t take this any longer…

Patrick: I know, isn’t it exciting? Just think that’ll be us in a few years, when we get married…To our girlfriends

Priest: Now I must ask, as this happens in almost every wedding I take, does anyone here know a reason why these two should not be legally wed?

Spongebob: I must, for Mr Krabs (He stands up) I d…

Klarisse: …I do (Everyone gasps)

Priest: No, you say that part later

Klarisse: No, I mean I can’t get married to you Eugene

Mr Krabs: W-What do you mean?

Klarisse: I’ll always love you (She kisses Mr Krabs and runs out the church in tears)

Mr Krabs: Klarisse, wait please (He breaks down in tear) Just go, all of you (Everyone slowly gets up to leave looking at Mr Krabs on the floor) She must really hate me

Spongebob: She doesn’t hate you, it’s because she loves you so much that she has to leave

Mr Krabs: But I’ll never see her again, my only love

Spongebob: Don’t worry, you’ll get over her and soon enough your be back to the Mr Krabs we all love and respect

Squidward: Yeah right (He rolls his eyes and walks out the church)

Mr Krabs: But I can’t stop thinking about her

Spongebob: You will, soon enough and to help I know just the place to forget all your worries

Mr Krabs: (He gets into the taxi as Spongebob slams the trunk down on Mr Krabs‘ suitcases)

Spongebob: Have a great honeymoon Mr Krabs (He waves goodbye to Mr Krabs)

Mr Krabs: Don’t worry, I will (He shuts the door as the taxi drives off) Goodbye Bikini Bottom (He pulls out his wallet and gets out a picture of Klarisse) I’ll never forget you, Klarisse (He kisses the photo and puts it back into his wallet as he leaves Bikini Bottom)

Great start to Season 3!

Meh. The dialogue was honestly terrible, especially Klarrise's lines. I felt it was very laid back, when it should've been more realistic. It just felt rushed. :/

I don't see how I could have made it more realistic or how the dialogue was 'horrible' but it's your opinion I suppose :/

BTW The pilot of my new show will focus on how Klarisse deals with life after Krabs at the agency, so you'll probably find it's not rushed and many things will be resolved in that episode

Season 3 episode 2 (43)- "A Clone for the Worse"


Spongebob: (In the Bikini Bottom Penitentiary Spongebob is sitting on an electric chair while all his friends watch in horror) …Please let me explain, I really didn’t do it…

Prison warden: That’s what they all say (He puts his hand on the lever) Sweet dreams, Squarepants

Spongebob: But I’m really telling the truth

Prison warden: (He looks at Spongebob) Wow, you might actually be telling the truth and I don‘t want to kill an innocent person….But then again it’s the best part of my job (He pulls the lever down and everyone gasps but the power blows out) Oh great, I told Terry to charge this thing up before I use it, go on then you’ve got until it fully charges to tell me how your so innocent but it better have a lot of action and a few jokes wouldn’t go amiss

Spongebob: Oh thank you so much, Well it all happened the day I like to call yesterday….

Prison warden: (He yawns) Boring…

Spongebob: That’s because I haven’t started talking yet…

Prison warden: Excuse me, I wouldn’t anger up the person wearing the corpse-handing gloves (He holds glover covered hands up to Spongebob)

Spongebob: Anyway, I was saying it all happened yesterday as I was in the Krusty Krab…

(Flashback)

Spongebob: (In the kitchen he watches Squidward walk into the Krusty Krab looking half asleep) Squidward, you’re a bit late aren’t you?

Squidward: But it’s only…(He looks at his watch and it’s 5pm) …Well only a tiny bit

Spongebob: Can you make up for those hours tomorrow?

Squidward: Who put you in charge?

Spongebob: Mr Krabs (He smiles)

Squidward: Well I need to go and have a word with him (He walks towards Mr Krabs’ office)

Spongebob: Don’t you remember, Squidward?

Squidward: (Confused) Evidently not

Spongebob: Mr Krabs is still on his honeymoon, so I think I’m in charge

Squidward: Wait a minute, who’s the oldest here?

Spongebob: Well I guess you are…

Squidward: And who’s has had the most experience?

Spongebob: That would be you also

Squidward: And who’s the best looking

Spongebob: You, Squidward

Squidward: So that means I should be left in charge (He proudly stands up straight)

Spongebob: I guess your right

Squidward: As per usual, Now I’m going home to…work, so I guess your in charge while I’m gone

Spongebob: Why can’t you work here?

Squidward: Don’t question your commanding officer (He walks out the Krusty Krab with a huge smile on his face)

Spongebob: I better work twice as hard so….

(End of flashback)

Prison warden: (He yawns) Is this story going anywhere?

Squidward: (Behind the glass he stands up) Yeah, just kill him already (Patrick pulls Squidward to his seat)

Spongebob: I’ll just skip a few scenes…

(Flashback)

Squidward: (He’s sitting in Mr Krabs’ on a chair relaxing) Awh, this is the life, Krabs why can’t you go on a honeymoon more often? (He looks at the his watch and it’s midnight) I better be getting home, not that I need much beauty sleep (He gets up only to find the office door is locked) What’s going on? (He pushes the door but it won’t budge) I’m locked it (He kicks the door but nothing happens) Help me! (He manages to kick the door down just as he spots Spongebob laughing and running outside with all the valuable items from the Krusty Krab) Spongebob?! That can’t possibly be Spongebob or can it? No it can’t, or can it? No it can’t or can’t it or no it can? (The sun sets and then rises as Spongebob enters the Krusty Krab)

Spongebob: Good morning Squidward… (Squidward sneaks up to him and jumps in front of him)

Squidward: Is it, is it really? (He looks at Spongebob strangely)

Spongebob: (Confused) Uh yeah, pretty great (He walks into the kitchen and Squidward follows him inside)

Squidward: Hey Spongebob I was just wondering if you did anything interesting last night…Like say: Rob the Krusty Krab or I don’t know YOU ROBBED THE KRUSTY KRAB!

Spongebob: (Angrily) What did you say?

Squidward: I saw you last night, Now I won’t tell the police if you…(Spongebob punches Squidward in the face and he falls to the ground running out the kitchen leaving Squidward on the floor)

Spongebob: It’s not safe here, everyone knows what I’ve done (He runs outside pushing people over as he runs into a police officer)

Police officer: (He turns around to see Spongebob on the floor) Why hello there young ma…(Spongebob kicks him in the groin and he falls to the ground) That’s gonna hurt tomorrow…And the rest of my life (He gets up to chase after Spongebob) COME BACK HERE! You have the right to remain….something, just stop (Spongebob sprints through Bikini Bottom still hitting people over)

Spongebob: I need to hide somewhere, somewhere no one will know I am (He runs into his house and locks the door)

Sandy: (Scene cuts to the inside of the Treedome as Sandy pours a tiny drop of liquid into a flask) Must be careful (Patrick runs into the Treedome screaming)

Patrick: SANDY! SANDY! SANDY! (He reaches Sandy)

Sandy: Yes, yes, yes?! (She puts the flask down) What is it Patrick?

Patrick: I just went to knock for Spongebob….And he wasn’t there (He screams)

Sandy: (Sarcastically) Oh no, we better alert the media (She rolls her eyes) He’s probably out somewhere

Patrick: That’s what I thought but then I heard a scream from inside the house

Sandy: What do you mean, a scream?

Patrick: (He pulls out a dictionary) To scream, or the act of screaming is to….

Sandy: I know what a scream is, I think we should go and investigate (They both run out the treedome and towards Spongebob’s house as Patrick knocks on the door)

Patrick: Spongebuddy are you Ok? (He knocks louder)

Sandy: Enough talk, it’s time for action (She karate kicks the door down and they both run inside looking for Spongebob) Where is he? (Spongebob walks out of the basement and Sandy runs up to hug him) Thank Neptune your alright, we though you would… (He pushes her off of him) What’s wrong? (Sandy gets up and looks down into the basement) What’s down there? Spongebob answer me

Patrick: Is it my birthday present?

Spongebob: Uh sure, why don’t you take a closer look (Sandy and Patrick look down the basement but Spongebob kicks Patrick down while Sandy turns around)

Sandy: PATRICK! I knew something was wrong with you (Spongebob tries kicking Sandy but she throws him across the room) I don’t know what’s going on but your going down (Spongebob charges at Sandy and she falls down the basement) SPONGEBOB! (The light turns on and Spongebob is revealed to be sitting on a chair tied up) W-What’s going on? Why are there two of you?

Spongebob: You tell me (Sandy unties him from the chair as Patrick stands up rubbing his head)

Sandy: I asked first

Spongebob: Well I just remember him tying me up and now your down here with Patrick

Patrick: He looks just like you

Sandy: Wait a minute, your right he looks just like Spongebob and I think I know why

Spongebob: Why?

Sandy: Remember when you were cloned and there were a thousand of you?

Spongebob: Not really…

Sandy: Well it all happened last year…

(Flashback)

Sandy: (She’s standing in front of a crowd of people) I have just found out that the Spongebob clones are multiplying thanks to a default in cloning machine, So soo….

(End Flashback)

Prison warden: Wait, so now there’s a flashback within a flashback?

Spongebob: At least you were listening

Prison warden: I’d hurry your story up, there’s only ten minutes left and I don’t like waiting to burn people

Spongebob: Anyway, we were all stuck in the basement not knowing what my evil clone was going to do next…

(Flashback)

Sandy: (She kicks the cellar door but it won’t open) Were completely locked in (She goes to sit down next to Spongebob)

Patrick: You mean there’s no way out?

Sandy: That’s kind of what “Locked in” means (She kicks the door again but still nothing happens)

Spongebob: We need to get out of here, who knows what kind of crimes he’s committing under my identity…

Spongebob Clone: (He walks out a gun shop holding a gun in his hand laughing evilly)

Squidward: (In the Krusty Krab he slowly gets to his feet clutching his face) Ugh (He looks through the serving hatch and sees the Spongebob clone walking past the Krusty Krab with the gun) How can this get any weirder (He picks up a phone and dials 911) …I’d like to report a…What do you mean it’s your lunch hour and you don’t want to be disturbed?

Spongebob Clone: (He walks to Spongebob’s house and slowly opens the door with the gun still in his hand)

Sandy: (Whispering) I think he’s back, when he opens the basement door I’ll hit him around the head Ok? (The basement door slowly opens and Sandy runs towards him but he pulls the gun out of his pocket) He’s got a gun (The Spongebob clone grabs Sandy and puts the gun to her head)

Spongebob Clone: Anyone moves and ferret here gets it

Spongebob: Let her go (He jumps up but the clone puts his finger on the trigger)

Sandy: Just do what he says for everyone’s sake

Spongebob Clone: Rat girls right

Sandy: I’m a freaking squirrel (She kicks him in the leg and he falls to the ground while Sandy grabs the gun) Now look who’s in control (She aims the gun at Spongebob) Die clone!

Spongebob: Um, Sandy it’s the other guy

Sandy: Ooh sorry (She aims the gun at the clone as they all hear police cars arriving) Looks like your times up fakey

Police Officer: (He pulls out a mega phone and speaks into it) Come out with your hands up…The Sunday newspaper and some fresh coffee if you’ve got any

Spongebob: (He grabs onto the clone and they all walk him out the basement making sure he doesn‘t run away)

Police Officer: I repeat: Please leave the odd looking house as we have you partially surrounded, you cannot escape unless you run out the back door…(He puts the mega phone down) Right I’m going in

Spongebob Clone: (He glances at the back door and makes a run for it)

Patrick: (He lunges at Spongebob and holds him to the ground) Look I’ve got him, I’m a hero!

Spongebob: Why does everyone think I look like my exact duplicate?

Patrick: Don’t play your games with me clone

Sandy: You really are stupid, aren’t you Patrick?

Patrick: Sometimes (He stands up)

Spongebob: (He gets up but the Spongebob Clone has ran outside) Oh great, he’s gone he’s probably miles away by now never to be seen again… (The Spongebob Clone is sitting in the Krusty Krab eating a Krabby Patty)

Police Officer: (He smashes through the door and looks at Spongebob) There he is (He grabs Spongebob

Spongebob: This figures (He is put into the back of a police car)

Sandy: Don’t worry Spongebob, we’ll be at the station waiting for you (The police car drives off)

(End of Flashback)

Spongebob: (Sitting on the electric chair) Then we got to the station and I sat on this chair, then it was then and now it’s now…

Prison warden: You expect me to believe that lame story? I’m sorry but I could pull a better story out of me a…Ah! (Something smashes through the brick walls of the prison and as the dust rises it’s Spongebob’s clone)

Spongebob: That’s him, that’s the one who committed all those crimes, not me (Everyone gasps)

Spongebob: It’s true (They un strap Spongebob from the chair)

Prison warden: Well it seems I’ve made a mistake, and I want to apologise…

Spongebob: Apologise then…

Prison warden: Don’t tell me what to do (He straps Spongebob’s clone to the chair as it powers up)

Prison warden: Don’t say you have a whole back story as well

Spongebob Clone: No, I deserve what’s coming to me (He sheds a tear)

Spongebob: Before you die, why did you do it? You had everything to live for especially your good looks

Spongebob Clone: I just wanted to be someone and to be remembered, you don’t know what it’s like constantly being in somebody’s shadow your whole life (He looks toward the ground)

Spongebob: I understand (They both smile)

Prison warden: (He wipes a tear away from his eye) Now that’s what I call a story, sweet and not too long (He looks at Spongebob then back at the clone) You tugged at my heartstrings, So I’m going to let you both go (Squidward stands up in anger)

Squidward: WHAT! Just because he told you a story your going to let him free?

Prison warden: Don’t make me angry, you don’t want to be the one sitting on this chair

Squidward: I’ll be good (He sits down)

Spongebob: (They all walk out the prison with smiles on their faces) Wanna come over my place buddy (He smiles at the clone

Spongebob Clone: I’d love to friend, but I’ve got a date

Sandy: A date! With who?

Spongebob Clone: Only the hottest clone in town… Sandy

Sandy: (Spongebob looks at her suspiciously) Oh yeah, I remember now I cloned myself last week I completely forgot (The Spongebob clone walks off happily)

Spongebob: Imagine, A Spongebob and Sandy going on a date, how weird

Sandy: Yes…very strange (She looks at Spongebob and smiles) Hey, wanna come back to my house for some dinner?

Spongebob: I’d love to (They both walk off into the sunset holding hands)

Pretty good episode, but I think you crammed a bit too many jokes in this one. It was still enjoyable, though.

I really liked it. especially the part with Spongebob and Sandy at the end.

Sabes, Imma letcha finish what ya started, but I think it's time for some mindless filler!

What If? Episode: The Aboveground City

One day, Sponegbob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and Sandy noticed city lights above their underwater city.

Spongebob: Patrick, are you seeing what I'm seeing?!

Patrick: I would if I could.

Sandy: Howdy bob dowdy! That be a city, boys! Above ground!

Squidward: Above ground? Puhuhlease!

Sandy: Where do you think a land critter like me came from?

Patrick: Ah, who cares about dumb, old, stupid Texas.

Sandy: What did you just say??

Mr. Krabs: I hope there are paying customers up there! $$$ Alright you bunch of polliwogs, we're heading up to that Aboveground City!

Spongebob & Patrick: Aye aye, Mr. Krabs!

Squidward: Just perfect.

Sandy: Well wrangle me up and hogtie me to a cactus! I'm so excited!

Mr. Krabs: LAND HOOOOOOO!!!

*They all charge up and manage to set footing on a dock. They walk around aimless until they reach a place called "Chinatown"*

Spongebob: Chinatown? What is that?

Mr. Krabs: Sounds like a place where I can make me some money! $$$

*Suddenly, they're all snagged up and put into a durlap sack by a random restaurant chef*

Chef: Mama Mia, fresh meat for my pot!

They were then grounded up and made into mahi mahi. No fish stepped foot in the Aboveground City ever again.

Happy teenj? Just a dare Sabes.

Haha xD.

Season 3 episode 3 (43)- "Kill Krill: Vol. 1 & 2"


Nat: (In the Krusty Krab Nat walks into the bathroom and washes his fins) I can’t believe how much grease there is in my finger nails (He hears a noise coming from one of the toilets) Um, hello?

Spongebob: (In a cubicle) Up a bit, a bit more NO! too high (Nat continues to listen) Ooh yeah, that’s the stuff (The cubicle begins to open when Nat quickly walks out the bathroom) Now that the lock on the doors fixed, I can go back to seeing everyone’s happy faces… (He walks out to see all the customers looking unhappy and staring at Spongebob) …Well faces anyway (He notices Squidward isn’t at the register) Squidward? (He turns around to see a smallish krill staring at him) How can I help you sir?

Krill: You couldn’t give me directions to the Bikini Bottom Library could you?

Spongebob: Sure can, as soon as you leave you just turn left and walk five yards making a sharp right to the tiny rock situated at your foot, you then take a one hundred and eighty turn until your facing the Chum Bucket you then…

Time Card: Twelve minutes later…

Spongebob: …Then you just have to take three steps to your right and you will be a quarter of the way there…

Krill: …Is there an easier way to get there? Y’know one that won’t take up my whole day?

Spongebob: Well you go in a straight line from here but that’s only if you want to get there by midnight

Krill: That’s all I was asking (He leaves as Spongebob walks into the kitchen to see smoke everywhere)

Spongebob: (He coughs) Squidward what’s going on?

Squidward: (The smoke clears and Squidward is standing by a cake that’s completely black) So, what do you think Spongebob? (He points at the cake that crumbles onto the floor) Be honest

Spongebob: Well if you want me to be honest, it looks like you’ve been taking cooking lessons from Plankton

Squidward: No, I meant honest in a good way (He looks at the burnt crumbs on the floor) Oh, your right I’ve been up all night trying to bake an edible cake to enter into the bake-off on Sunday but I can never make anything edible

Spongebob: You shouldn’t lose sleep over something as silly as a bake-off…

Squidward: But it’s against Squilliam

Spongebob: It’s still not important to lose sleep over

Squidward: But he called me a chicken

Spongebob: Squidward, having experienced people call me a chicken all my life, mostly by you, I suggest you go and whip his tail…thingy

Squidward: How am I meant to beat him when I can’t cook for my life

Spongebob: Well your just have to cook like your life depended on it

Squidward: I can’t (He starts to cry) If I don’t enter I’ll be humiliated by Squilliam and if I do enter I’ll be humiliated by him

Spongebob: Come on, I’ll help you (They start preparing to make another cake)

Time Card: Ten minutes later…

Squidward: (He puts the cake into the over and shuts the door turning up the temperature) Well it’s in the oven

Spongebob: Nothing can go wrong (There’s a huge explosion that shakes the Krusty Krab) What was that?!

Squidward: Oh great, I knew I shouldn’t have touched the cake before it went in the oven (Spongebob looks into the oven but the cake is not damaged)

Spongebob: No the cakes fine, it sounded like it came from the other side of the street (He walks out the kitchen and sees the Chum Bucket has been partially damaged) It came from the Chum Bucket, Plankton’s probably doing something again…He’s always doing something (He walks outside and towards the Chum Bucket) I shouldn’t just break into his house…What would Mr Krabs want me to do (He imagines Mr Krabs telling Spongebob to get out of his office) I should go, just to see what he’s up to (He slowly walks into the Chum Bucket to see Plankton sitting on the sofa watching an action movie) What? Why’s he not doing anything? (He watches for a little longer) I guess I got the wrong end of the stick (He sees Plankton getting up off the sofa) Better get out of here (He starts to walk out but he falls over his shoe laces and Plankton walks up to him)

Plankton: Nice of you to drop by Spongebob, in my house, when I’m not doing anything illegal

Spongebob: I-I’m just going

Plankton: I don’t think so (He presses a button and all the exits are sealed) Best twenty dollars I ever spent

Spongebob: What’s going on?

Plankton: It seems you’ve broke into my house, illegally without my permission

Spongebob: I just walked in through the front door…

Plankton: The fact still remains that you broke into my house through the window (He points at his smashed window)

Spongebob: That wasn’t me, you know it was those school kids who were here last week

Plankton: Well you’re a kid, and a kid smashed my window so your breaking the law

Spongebob: You can’t seriously expect me to stay here the rest of my life

Plankton: Now why would I want that?

Spongebob: Because your so lonely

Plankton: Well yes, but no, I’ve called the police, looks like Krabs will be without a fry cook when he returns

Spongebob: NO!….

Plankton: (He laughs evilly then stops) …

Spongebob: …(The both look at each other)

Plankton: So…Wanna play a game until they come?

Spongebob: Yeah sure why not

Squidward: (He walks out the kitchen holding a burnt cake) Spongebob look what you’ve done, the cakes burnt again because of you (He looks outside to see Spongebob being put into the back of a police car) Spongebob! (He runs outside and watches Spongebob get driven away) He sure is getting arrested a lot recently (He watches him drive over the hill and towards the police station) If Spongebob gets out of work, I don’t see how I shouldn’t (He turns around and locks the Krusty Krab walking back to his house)

Nat: (He and some other customers are locked inside the Krusty Krab) Did he just lock us in here?

Fred: Whatever, as long as I don’t have to go to work for the next two weeks (They all continue eating)

Plankton: (He walks back into the Chum Bucket) Now Spongebob’s out the picture I can finally get back to what I was doing (He presses a button and the lab flips upside down to reveal a machine half blown to pieces) I’ll just make a few big adjustments (He puts on a welding mask)

Spongebob: (In the back of the police car) Where are you taking me?

Police Officer: Were taking you to a place where you will never escape…But first I need to get some milk from the store (They arrive at the police station and the two police officers drag Spongebob inside) We’ve got another one Marion (The Prison warden walks up to Spongebob)

Prison warden: What have I told you about calling me that?

Police Officer: What should I do with him?

Prison warden: Just put him in the cell with that guy who like to eat peoples hair

Spongebob: Lucky I don’t have any hair (He rubs his bald head)

Police Officer: Oh, he doesn’t just eat the hair on you head (He looks at Spongebob as he is dragged into a cell and locked inside)

Spongebob: I don’t belong here, I’ve done nothing wrong

Rodriguez: Neither have I (Spongebob turns around to see a muscular fish sitting on the bench)

Spongebob: Were you wrongly framed as well?

Rodriguez: You could say that, all I did was break a few peoples arms and legs and murder some guy (He holds his hands out to Spongebob) The names Rodriguez

Spongebob: (He looks at his hand) Uh, nice to meet you (He pulls his hand away from him)

Squidward: (In his house he takes a burnt cake out of the fridge) How did this burn, Heat didn’t get anywhere near it (He puts it into the garbage) I can’t possibly enter the competition no matter how much Squilliam will mock me…(His phone rings) What is it Squilliam? - I’m a what? - That’s it I’m so going to beat you on Sunday - Yes I’ll see you there too - No I’ll see you first (He slams the phone down as he dramatically puts his chef hat back on) Oh it’s on now

FBI Officer: (In a hidden room he puts the phone down as he starts to note stuff down on a piece of paper)

FBI Officer #2: Whatcha writing? (He gets up and stands behind him)

FBI Officer: I just got a phone call giving us inside information on those krill that are planning to invade the city and take over throw the Government

FBI Officer #2: So what are we going to do?

FBI Officer: (He raises his hand) TO THE FBI-MOBILE!

FBI Officer #2: You mean your boat-mobile?

FBI Officer: Uh, yeah… (They run to the boat mobile)

Spongebob: (In the Police station he slams on the cell door but realizing they won’t let him out he sits down on the bench next to Rodriguez) I’m never gonna get out of here… (The cell door opens)

Prison warden: …Spongebob Squarepants get out of there (He stands up and walks out the cell)

Spongebob: Where are you taking me?

Prison warden: You’ve got some visitors that probably want to see you for some reason (Spongebob walks into the room to see the two FBI officers standing in front of him)

FBI Officer: Are you SpongeHead BrownSquarepants?

Spongebob: Close enough, are you hear to take me out of prison?

FBI Officer #2: Not quite, but if you follow our instruction and listen to our demands then you may well be released

Spongebob: Oh thank you so much (He hugs them both)

FBI Officer #2: Please…Don’t do that (He pushes him away)

Spongebob: What do I have to do to be released?

FBI Officer: Well we were looking over your criminal record and you seem to be clean, so we have selected you to work for the FBI and track down the krill that are planning to enter the town illegally and over throw the Government and your job is to block them out by paroling the border of the city and if needed, take other action (He holds up a gun)

Spongebob: …Could you repeat the thing you said about…That thing?

FBI Officer: Just do it (He hands Spongebob the gun)

Squidward: (He wakes up with his face in a cake mixture) Huh? (He lifts his head out the bowl to see his kitchen completely covered in mess) I can’t believe I stayed up all night trying to bake an edible cake when the bake-off’s in…(He looks at his watch) …TWO HOURS AGO! (He runs out the house and to the Community hall) I hope I’m not too late (He runs up to the door with a sign that reads “Your too late”)
Drats (He notices an open window around the side of the hall where he sneaks around and jumps inside) Just in time (He realises he’s standing in someone’s pies) Oh sorry (He gets down and prepares to cook just as Squilliam walks up to him and sees Squidward making a mess and panicking)

Squilliam: Looks like someone’s going to lose

Squidward: Not now Squilliam…Not ever, don’t you have something to cook?

Squilliam: Oh I finished an hour and a half ago, I’m just going around to gloat (He laughs as he walks away)

Squidward: (In anger he smashes the eggs in his hands and they boil in rage) I can’t let him win (He slowly puts the eggs into the flour and slowly beats it) I’ve got a feeling this is going to be the best thing I’ve made… (A seahorse barges into Squidward and the bowl falls on the floor)

Seahorse: (He looks at the mixture on the floor) …Looks pretty lousy to me (He laughs and takes his dish up to the judges table)

Squidward: He did that on purpose (All his competitors are watching him with angry expressions on their faces) Anyone would think I’m some sort of Nazi, when that’s more of my cousin’s thing (Squidward watches them all as a he pours some milk into a jug and a fish throws it on the floor) Oh how grown up of you (He sighs as he starts to wash his hands only to find the water has been replaced with sewage) This is gonna take forever (There’s a montage of Squidward trying to bake the cake and the competitors sabotaging his efforts with everything he does) At last it’s finally complete (He holds up a presentable cake and slowly walks to the judges table) Just slow Squiddy…(Squilliam trips him up and he falls on the floor destroying his cake) Oh that is it (He gets up angrily and tries to piece his cake together) It’s no use (He puts it on the table next to the judge)

Judge: (He yawns) All this eating has made me pretty tired, I think I’ll take five (He slowly stands up and walks out)

Squidward: (He watches them leave as he looks at everyone else’s entries) I knew I should have backed out, it’s so unfair (He looks at his cake once more then feels with rage so he pulls out a bottle entitled “Patrick’s Excess Earwax” and puts a few drops of it into each cake) I knew this would come in handy one day (He laughs evilly)

Spongebob: (At the training camp he jumps out from behind a bush and takes a shot at some cardboard cut outs of krill using a paint gun) Take this, and this (He hits one in the head as the FBI Officer approaches him) Did I do well?

FBI Officer: Despite killing a few animals, you did pretty well

Spongebob: So when do I start defending myself against real krill?

FBI Officer: Oh they were real (The krill stand up and clutch parts of there body in agony) Thanks for volunteering you guys

Krill: We didn’t volunteer? You said if we didn’t you’d kill our family’s…

FBI Official: …Ha, ha those krill always joking around (He looks suspicious) Anyway Spongebob I think your ready for your mission (He puts his arm around Spongebob and smiles)

Judge: (At the front of the stage he steps forward to the microphone) Greetings one and all and welcome to the first and last annual Bikini Bottom Bake-off (He waits for applause) We’ve had some great entries this year, and by great I mean diabolical, They all made me vomit more than watching my big, fat ugly momma get into her bikini (He waits for laughter) Get it cause she’s ugly (No one smiles) Well then I’ll just reveal the two dishes that made it through to the final and will be competing for the title tomorrow (He pulls out an envelope and begins to read it) Squidward Tentacles and Sheldon Plankton (Everyone looks astonished)

Squilliam: How did they get through? Squidward can’t cook for squat and Plankton didn’t even enter the competition

Judge: Firstly Squidward may not be able to cook but at least we didn’t throw up after eating his and secondly Plankton did not bribe us into putting him into the final

Squilliam: I didn’t say tha…

Judge: (He covers his ears) I’m not listening la, la, la, la (He runs off stage)

Squidward: I can’t believe I made the final

Squilliam: Neither can I (He storms out angrily)

Squidward: Poor Squilliam (He laughs hysterically)

Plankton: (Back stage he’s standing next to a machine) Now that I’ve bribed the judges and I’ve got my latest invention, I can’t possibly fail to win the contest and gain customers when the machine makes my food taste irresistible (He laughs while Squidward is listening in)

Squidward: I so surprised he would cheat…Well not that surprised

Spongebob: (He paroles the border of Bikini Bottom holding a gun and wearing his FBI uniform) I bet I look so cool (He watches over Bikini Bottom and making sure no krill have entered) I’ve always got to be one step ahead of the krill (A krill steps in front of him and makes a run into Bikini Bottom) Hey, get back here (Thousands of krill charge into Bikini Bottom and Spongebob can’t control them) Hey I told you to stop (The continue running until he pulls his gun out on them) STOP! (They all stop as he aims a gun at one of them) I didn’t want to do this, but I can’t risk getting sent down and never seeing my friends again (He pulls the trigger and the bullet hits the krill while they scatter he falls to the ground) I can’t believe what I’ve just done (He starts to sob) I never meant to hurt anyone

Judge: (He walks onto the stage) Welcome one and all to the final of the Bikini Bottom Bake-off it only seemed like I was standing here thirty second ago revealing the finalists but it was obviously yesterday that I announced Squidward Tentacles and Sheldon Plankton are the two finalists (They both take a bow)

Squidward: (He whispers to Plankton) I know your little game Plankton, I’ve been perfecting my recipe all my life

Plankton: Well I’ve been working on my machine for over two days but you don’t see me bragging about that

Judge: Gentlemen start your cooking (They both run to the kitchens and start to prepare everything while Plankton just throws any random thing together in a bowl)

Plankton: Can’t go wrong with shards of glass (He throws a DVD in and some felt) And now to whip this bad boy out (He pulls out the machine and aims it at the plate of food transforming it into a really delicious looking meal) Now it’s ready

Squidward: (He quickly throws the cake in the oven and turns it on to full power)

Judge: The time is almost up (He looks at his stop watch)

Squidward: Already?

Judge: We need to keep the audience awake so we cut the preparation time in half (He counts down from ten and they both place there food in front of the judge as he starts to eat them)

Plankton: There’s no way I can lose

Squidward: There is, if you lose (The judge finishes the food and starts to talk to himself)

Judge: We have came to a decision, and the winner of the Bikini Bottom Bake-off 2011 is…

Spongebob: (He walks around Bikini Bottom looking for any of the Krill) Has anyone seen thousands of krill around? Anyone? They could be anywhere (Across town in the basement of the Library the krill are having a secret meeting)

Krill #247: We don’t have much time, that Sponge is already over us like…Well I don’t have anything to compare him with but he is all over us

Krill #63: He’s right, If were going to go through with this we need to do it now, we can’t over throw the Government in a day (They all start to argue amongst one another)

Judge: …As I was saying, the winner of the Bikini Bottom Bake-off 2011 is… (Plankton and Squidward both look at each other) …Sheldon Squidward I mean you, the squid thing (He points at Squidward)

Squidward: Really, me?

Judge: You’re the only squid here aren’t you?

Plankton: How did he win, I cheated, cheaters always win (He gets angry)

Squidward: Maybe I just practised and over time I got better

Plankton: Well a lot of use you were (He looks at the machine then kicks it over making it fall and roll out the hall and through Bikini Bottom)

Squidward: The best man one (He puts his hand out to Plankton)

Plankton: Don’t you mean the best man should have one? (Outside the machine rolls down the hill and shoots across town landing on the ground near the town centre)

Krill #3: (In the basement of the Library) So you want orange soda or cola?

Krill #94: Shouldn’t we be talking about out plan?

Krill #3: This is a little more important than over throwing society (Spongebob enters dressed as a krill and sits at the table)

Spongebob Krill: So any secrets you wanna share?

Krill #74: Uh, sure we’ve

Spongebob Krill: Please can you try and speak into this microphone (He holds up a microphone that’s under his T-shirt)

Krill #59: Hey he’s wearing a wire, let’s get out of here (They all get up to run away as the FBI burst in)

FBI Officer: FREEZE! (They all separate and run out the Library) What does no one get about the word freeze? (They all run outside barging into Plankton’s machine that starts to beep (Spongebob and the FBI start to chase after them as they hear an explosion) What was that? (They get outside to see that the krill have been crippled on the floor and can’t move)

FBI Officer #2: (He looks at Spongebob) You did a good job, son (He pats him on the back) Now help us arrest these outlaws (They start to handcuff the krill)

Squidward: (In the Krusty Krab he, Spongebob and Plankton are sitting around a table) Who wants home-made brownies?

Plankton: Nah, I think I’ll just take a Krabby Patty to go and maybe the secret recipe on the side

Spongebob: Nice try Plankton (Squidward walks into the kitchen as the FBI walk in with krill handcuffed to them)

FBI Officer: I’m just here to clear your criminal record (He tears it up) And maybe have a spare tray of brownies if any are going

Squidward: (In the kitchen) Sure (He pulls a tray of burnt brownies out the oven) Uh oh (He aims Plankton’s machine at the brownies and shoot them) Well I can’t be good at everything (He walks back into the Krusty Krab and hands the brownies to everyone

FBI Officer #2: (To Spongebob) Just remember your free to drop by the office anytime

Spongebob: I’ll remember that (He smiles at them)

Krill #8: These brownies are great (Everyone nods their heads in agreement)

Squidward: I thought they would (He smiles as everyone laughs)

Season 3 episode 4 (44)- "The Great Sponge Hope"


Governor: (In his office he is sorting out lots of paperwork) …How can I be losing money? I‘ve been raising taxes on every single law (He begins to write something down on the paper) Ok um, anyone with no hair must pay extra taxes and anyone with hair has to do the same (He works the cost out on a calculator then writes the amount down) That’s better, now I can afford to go to the spa next weekend (He sits back in his chair) Bruce, you’re a genius (He gets out a cigar as his PA bursts into his office)

PA: Sir…

Mayor: What is it now Michelle?

PA: Remember last week when I told you the town was becoming overpopulated? Then you told me to get out as you were “so busy“…?

Governor: What do you expect? I was watching entertainment delights known as daytime television

PA: Well I was right and now there‘s too many people, it’s probably all the illegal immigrants entering the town but there’s too many and there’s just not enough houses or jobs for them so they start to gather in the streets and making the city look even messier

Governor: (He has an idea) Have you tried…?

PA: And no, we can’t shoot them

Governor: Oh (He continues to think)

PA: You need to do something about it, before the citizens start to turn on you (She leaves his office)

Mayor: (He has an idea) That’s it! I just need to force a certain species to leave the city, but which one (He pulls out a book entitled “The A-Z of Sea Creatures” and flicks through the pages) Right now to choose one unlucky species (He looks through the book but can’t decide on one) This is harder than I thought, I’ll guess I’ll use my special Governor abilities (He picks up the book again) Eeny meeny miny mo (He puts his finger on a page of the book) There, Now all I have to do is create an advertising campaign showing how useless the… (He looks down at the book)…Sponges are and how they must be eliminated from my town (He laughs) No one will expect a thing (He continues to laugh)

Fred: (In Bikini Bottom he paints over a sign that reads “Bikini Bottom: Population 1,352” with a sticker that says “Too Many To Count”)

Squidward: (In the Krusty Krab many people are shouting at Squidward for there orders) Will you all just shut up, the little freaks in there cooking your grease tripping food and as many arms as he can grow he can’t keep up with all these orders (He sits down) Why don’t you all just come back next week or later if possible (Spongebob walks out the kitchen with many plates of food)

Spongebob: Don’t worry Squidward, I’m on it

Squidward: Good, because I‘m not (He reads his magazine)

Spongebob: (He walks around handing the food out to everyone) There you go Sir

Nat: (He looks at Spongebob) Wait, did you make this food?

Spongebob: With my own fair hands (He looks at his grease ridden hands)

Nat: Are you a sponge?

Spongebob: What gave it away (He laughs while everyone throws their food onto the floor) What’s wrong?

Nancy: Your kind doesn’t belong here (He stands up in anger)

Spongebob: My kind?

Annette: Yeah, get outta here

Spongebob: What have I done?

Old Man Jenkins: You know what you’ve done, you and your kind

Spongebob: I really don’t know what your talking about

Old Man Jenkins: You devils of the sea

Lou: Yeah, what he said

Squidward: Hey wait (He stands up) You think Spongebob doesn’t belong here? He may be a stupid, insignificant and useless but he’s got just as much right to be here as you all do and anyway he’s doing my job

Spongebob: Thank you Squidward…I think

Nat: Well until he leaves none of us will step foot in this place ever again (They all start to leave)

Spongebob: At least tell me what I’ve meant to have done

Nat: It’s all over the news, now goodbye forever (They all leave but he returns) I-I left my jacket on the seat (He picks it up) Now goodbye…forever (He leaves)

Spongebob: But I haven’t read the news today (He picks up a newspaper) Oh boy (He looks shocked)

Squidward: What is it? (Spongebob hands the newspaper to Squidward) That’s impossible, they’ve never said that sponges have polluted the ocean before, why now? Something smells fishy and it’s not that fish that never showers

Spongebob: Hey look (He reads that there’s a news report on at 2pm today) Hey lucky it’s two o’ clock now (He turns the Krusty Krab TV on)

Perch Perkins: (He’s interviewing Annette) What is it about sponges that you hate most? The fact that their polluting our wonderful ocean or destroying our beautiful city?

Annette: A bit of both really Perch

Perch Perkins: I’ll agree with you there, Crack Street, Marijuana way, Stalker Boulevard used to be beautiful places to live but are now ruin by the disgusting sponges that sponge off the locals and ruin the town (He turns to another camera) I for one will gladly see the backs of those sponges, but once again they ruin my life by not having any spines, so join me won’t you in tormenting and hating the sponges for the rest of their miserable lives (The news report ends with a sign that reads “In partnership with the Bikini Bottom Government”)

Spongebob: (He turns the TV off) I can’t believe they did that, we’ve done nothing wrong

Squidward: As much as I’d love to join in on hating and tormenting you and your family, I believe you

Spongebob: I just hope everyone else feels the same way (He walks towards the exit) See you tomorrow Squidward

Squidward: Stay safe (Spongebob walks out the Krusty Krab) Did I just help Spongebob? I feel really weird inside

Spongebob: (He slowly walks through the town as everyone stares at him in disgust)

Fred: Go back to your own country (He throws a tomato at Spongebob but he moves out the way)

Spongebob: This is my country (He continues to walk)

Fred: Well then go to a different country (He throws more fruit and vegetables along with many other citizens)

Spongebob: (A piece of celery goes through his head as he turns around) Please stop

Nat: NEVER! (Everyone starts to chase after him as he runs towards his house)

Spongebob: Please I beg of you (He starts to slow down as Sandy drives in front of him in a boat mobile)

Sandy: Quick get in (Spongebob clambers inside as she drives towards his house)

Spongebob: Thanks for saving me Sandy, were did you get this boat by the way?

Sandy: Some guy (She stops outside his house and he jumps out)

Spongebob: I can’t thank you enough

Sandy: Quick get inside (He runs into his house as the angry mob surround Sandy’s boat searching everywhere for Spongebob)

Spongebob: (He bolds his door shut) Can this get any worse? (Someone throws a pumkin through the window) A pumpkin? Really? (He runs into his kitchen in the complete darkness) Where’s the back door? (He turns the light on and sees his mom cowering in the corner of the room) Mom? Why are you here?

Claire Squarepants: It’s terrible, Me and your father, I mean Harold were forced out of our homes and I don’t know what to do?

Spongebob: Where’s Harold now?

Claire Squarepants: I don’t know, I haven’t seen him since (She starts to break down and cry)

Spongebob: (He hugs her) Everything’s going to be alright mom (The mob smash through the door and run inside)

Fred: There they are (They crowd around them both)

Spongebob: Don’t let go of me (The mob pull them both out the house and onto the sand outside as a Police officer approaches them)

Police officer: Under threat of law, you both must leave the city of Bikini Bottom or face the consequences if you do not (Spongebob and his mom both look at each other as they stand up and walk out of Bikini Bottom holding hands as everyone cheers)

Spongebob: (They leave Bikini Bottom and continue to walk) Well I guess we have to start a new life in a new city (He walks into a sign that reads “Welcome to Spongetopia”) Spongetopia?!

Cyndi Squarehead: I see you’ve walked into our sign (She helps Spongebob up)

Spongebob: What is this place?

Cyndi Squarehead: This is Spongetopia silly, the second spongiest place in the entire ocean

Spongebob: Second? Where’s the first?

Cyndi Squarehead: Over at Loafer Island, they always think they’re so much better than us…Only because they are

Spongebob: So is this where all the sponges come when they were forced to leave Bikini Bottom?

Cyndi Squarehead: That is correct (He looks around at all the sponges frolicking in the sun) I never knew there were so many of them

Harold Squarepants: Hello dear (He holds out his hand to Claire)

Claire Squarpants: Harold? Thank Neptune your alive (They both hold hands)

Cyndi Squarehead: Come and meet the rest of us won’t you (Spongebob follows Cyndi)

Spongebob: I think I’m gonna like it here (He smiles as he watches all the other sponges having fun)

Perch Perkins: (In the news room) Bikini Bottom is now sponge free (Everyone cheers) And it’s all thanks to you at home unless you didn’t help get rid of them, and if you didn’t then screw you

Governor: (He’s in a Jacuzzi as he turns the TV off) Alls well that ends well I suppose (He laughs)

Nat: (In the town hall everyone is gathering around Nat who’s standing on a table) The sponges have gone but we are still at risk of them polluting our ocean as they are still alive and well (Everyone sighs) That is why we must launch an attack on there so called “Spongetopia” Are you with me (Everyone cheers but Patrick sits in shock at the revelation)

Patrick: I’ve got to save Spongebob (He stands up)

Spongebob: (He’s drawing a picture of a Krabby Patty as he watches his mom play tennis and everyone else enjoying the sun) I love it here, I feel so at home (Cyndi walks up to him)

Cyndi Squarehead: Hey Spongebob wanna play some volleyball

Spongebob: I’d love to (They all get up and start to play) This is great could ruin this brilliant day

Fred: (He pulls his binoculars down after watching the sponges) Everyone ready? (They all start to charge towards the newly founded city with knifes and flaming torches)

Mrs Puff: This is going to be sweet (They all reach the city but are stopped by Squidward, Sandy and Patrick)

Patrick: STOP! (Everyone stops in front of them)

Nat: What’s the hold up? We should be beating them to death by now

Squidward: I’ll agree that beating up sponges is fun, but they do not deserve what your about to do to them

Sandy: He’s right, This is all just a sham to rid the town of a certain species, just imagine what it would be like if it were one of your kind being forced to leave (Everyone looks at each other)

Squidward: If you can just put down your weapons and join together welcoming everyone back to Bikini Bottom then I’m sure we will all be much happier

Nat: The hideous freaks are right, why should we be fighting we should be joining together as one (They all walk to Spongetopia and sit amongst one another as they begin to talk)

Spongebob: (Squidward, Patrick and Sandy sit down next to Spongebob) I’m so glad you all could make it

Sandy: Well you can come back to Bikini Bottom anytime now

Spongebob: Really that’s great, how did you do it?

Sandy: Well it was mostly Squidward’s idea

Squidward: That’s a lie, but when you do come back Spongebob feel free to come around my house anytime (Spongebob puts his arm round them all)

Spongebob: The best thing is that your just in time to watch the firework display

Patrick: What display (A huge firework shoots out right behind him) AH!

Spongebob: That one (They all laugh as they watch the fireworks explodes spelling “Happy Independence Day” in the night sky)

Season 3 episode 5 (45)- "Fathers Know Best"


Squidward: (His alarm sounds as he slowly wakes up and hears Spongebob’s alarm) Ugh (He looks out his window to see Spongebob looking at Squidward from his window)

Spongebob: Happy Birthday Squid…(Squidward ducks down underneath the window) Hey, where’d he go? I’ll wish him a happy birthday when I go over there in a minute (He walks away from the window as Squidward stands up)

Squidward: I’ll be damned if he ruins another day of my life, let alone my birthday (He runs down the stairs and bolts the door shut) Now there’s no way he can get in (Spongebob taps him on the shoulder)

Spongebob: Who are you locking out Squidward?

Squidward: Just get out (He unlocks the door and opens it)

Spongebob: (He looks around) Who?

Squidward: YOU! (He storms off upstairs and crawls back into bed) Why can’t he let me rest on my birthday? (He tries to get back to sleep but opens his eyes to see Spongebob wearing a party hat and standing at the foot of his bed)

Spongebob: Happy Birthday Squidward!

Squidward: What part of ‘Get out’ don’t you understand?

Spongebob: Well I suppose the get part doesn’t really explain…

Squidward: (He rubs his face) Please, I’m asking you nicely, to just leave me alone

Spongebob: I can’t leave, it’s your birthday, your another year older

Squidward: Don’t remind me (He looks at Spongebob) Well I suppose I’ll have to get up now as I obviously won’t get any sleep with you here…

Spongebob: Don’t be silly, it’s your birthday your allowed to rest

Squidward: I guess your right (He starts to fall asleep as Spongebob watches over him breathing heavily and waking Squidward up) What’s the point? (He gets up in anger and walks out his bedroom)

Spongebob: (He stands up) Where are you going? I thought you were going back to sleep (He follows him) Squidward?

Plankton: (In the Chum Bucket he flips over a chair and looks under it then he crawls under a book shelf) Where the hell is it? (He punches the wall in anger then rubs his hand)

Karen: What are you doing now?

Plankton: If it’s any of you business, I’m looking for the quantum flux memory enhancer

Karen: You mean that little memory chip?

Plankton: Yeah, do you know where it is?

Karen: No, I don’t know why you don’t just put stuff in the safe if it’s that important

Plankton: Whatever…

Karen: Anyway, can I talk to you honey…

Plankton: Can’t you see I’m busy? (He opens the door and walks outside) Maybe I dropped it out here for some reason (He looks around)

Karen: (Her screen shows her uploading virtual flowers to her fathers grave as she starts to cry) I miss you dad

Spongebob: (He walks out Squidward’s kitchen with a birthday cake) Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Sq…

Squidward: …Ok we know the rest (Spongebob puts the cake down next to Squidward who’s sitting on the couch)

Spongebob: Patrick wishes he could be here, mostly for the cake, but he’s still in bed and Mr Krabs is still on his honeymoon, so I guess it‘s just you and me (He pulls a knife out and starts to cut the cake in pieces)

Squidward: (He looks at the candles on the cake) Wait, why are there sixty candles on the cake?

Spongebob: Well I didn’t know how old you were so I guessed sixty seven (Squidward stares at him)

Squidward: (Blankly) I’m forty two

Spongebob: Well your as young as you feel

Squidward: I can’t take this anymore… (He walks off to bed) …And don’t follow me

Plankton: (He crawls out of a mail box and then looks inside a discarded can) Where could it be? (He looks around and spots Patrick’s house) Maybe one of these idiots will know where the memory chip is (He walks towards Patrick’s rock and knocks on it)

Squidward: (He sits up in bed and takes a drink) Why does it have to be my birthday every year? (Spongebob walks into Squidward’s bedroom) Can’t you take a hint Spongebob?

Spongebob: I just came to tell you that Plankton wanted to know if you had seen a chip memory or something, and it’ll be great if you could come down for some cake (He smiles at Squidward)

Squidward: I’m not in the mood

Spongebob: Maybe some cake will cheer you up (He holds up a piece of cake)

Squidward: Get out Spongebob

Spongebob: But…

Squidward: GET OUT! If I don’t want you here any day of my life why would I want you here on my birthday? (Spongebob tears up as he walks down the stairs leaving Squidward on his own) That’s better, I think (He tries to smile)

Plankton: (He walks away from Squidward’s house looking around when he spots a shiny object in Spongebob’s trashcan) Is that….Is that the quantum flux memory enhancer? (He jumps into the trashcan only to find the object was a button) How could I mistake a button for a memory chip, they don’t look anything like each other (He starts to climb out the trashcan when Spongebob puts the birthday cake in the trash can and Plankton falls back inside) What have I done to deserve this? (He can’t move) Help! (He hears the garbage truck coming) Hey maybe the kind garbage men will help get me out (The garbage men lift the trashcan up and start to empty it into the truck) Stop, Help!

Garbage Man #1: Do you hear something?

Garbage Man #2: No, only some idiot asking me if I hear anything

Plankton: (He falls into the garbage truck and gets covered in garbage) Well at least it’s better than listening to Karen nagging all day (They start to drive away as Plankton gets thrown around in the back)

Squidward: (In bed he watches his clock hands move very slowly as they seem to get slower each time until they seem to go backwards) What have I done? Oh yeah I was really nasty to Spongebob when he’d done nothing wrong…I just went blank there for a second (He sits up) I need to go and apologise (He walks out of his house and knocks on Spongebob’s door) Spongebob, I’m s-s-sorry for what I did, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings as I know how fragile they are (He knocks again) Spongebob? Oh great he’s not in (He walks back into his house and sits down in silence watching time pass)

Plankton: (In the Bikini Bottom dump he lifts his head out of a mouldy sandwich and spits it out) Well at least I’ve had some lunch today (He stands up and coughs up a small memory chip) It can’t be…A quantum flux memory enhancer! What are the chances? (He picks it up and runs out the dump)

Jessie Jenkins: (A sign reading “Bikini Bottom News” shows as a purple fish holds a microphone) Hello World, My names Jessie Jenkins and I’m covering for Perch Perkins tonight who’s out with a terrible, terrible headache (She turns to face another camera) I’m here at the Bikini Bottom salt flats where nothing much is happening (She walks to a nerdy fish) Am I right in saying that Professor?

Professor: You sure are Jessie…

Jessie Jenkins: …(She looks at the camera nervously) So I guess that is all on this very slow news day, I’m Jessie Jenkins and it’s back to you in the studio (The camera stops rolling and she walks up to the teenaged squid controlling the camera) Hey kid, Get me a drink (She starts to chew some gum)

Sadie: But that’s not my job…

Jessie Jenkins: Just do as I tell you, you stupid girl (She hits her round the face and there’s now a small cut as she starts to cry) Grow up you baby (She walks off with a coffee she took of the sound guy)

Sadie: (She looks at her tentacles covered with blood as she looks around for a nearby house only to spot Spongebob‘s) I’m sure someone who lives in a fruit will be sweet enough to help clean myself up (She walks towards Spongebob’s house and knocks on the door) Hello? Anyone home? (She knocks again) Come on, open up, please (She walks next door to Squidward’s house and knocks (Squidward answers the door looking very glum)

Squidward: What is it? Your not part of the girl scouts are you?

Sadie: I used to be, but no I need to use your bathroom

Squidward: If you have to, but be quick I’m counting (She runs inside looking round Squidward’s house)

Sadie: You’ve got a really nice home

Squidward: Hurry up (She walks into the bathroom and splashes water in her face as she notices a newspaper stuck to the bathroom door)

Sadie: Hmm… (She reads the newspaper headline) “Big nosed resident has big heart” (She continues to read the article) “Bikini Bottom resident Squidward Tentacles saved Easter when…” Tentacles? Where have I heard that before? (She pull out her passport with her name “Sadie Tentacles” printed on the top) I-It can’t be (She looks at Squidward through the crack in the door)

Plankton: (He walks into the Chum Bucket) Your hero has returned (He walks into the lab to see Karen still weeping) What’s wrong with you? Wait don’t answer that because I don’t care (He pulls out the quantum flux memory enhancer and puts it into his latest invention)

Karen: Now your back could you just listen for a minute…?

Plankton: Not now (The machine glows bright purple) This looks…promising (He hides behind a table as the machine sends a ray of light through the restaurant as the smoke clears the machine now has a face on it’s screen) What’s going on?

Machine: (The machine opens it’s eyes and looks at Karen) K-Karen?!

Karen: Dad?…

Sadie: (She walks out the bathroom) …Dad, are you? (She walks up to Squidward)

Squidward: What?

Sadie: Are you my d-dad?

Squidward: Kid, a lot of people see me as a father figure but I’m just your average hero (He opens the door) Now if you don’t mind, I’m busy being lonely (She starts to walk towards the door as she stops)

Sadie: Wait, do you remember Cindy Clements?

Squidward: (He stops in his tracks and turns around) Cindy!

Sadie: Dad!

Squidward: Sadie!

Patrick: Patrick!

Squidward: I haven’t seen you since you left with your mom to go and live in New Shell City, that was over ten years ago (He hugs her) How is your mom

Sadie: I haven’t seen her since I ran away from home

Squidward: We have a lot to talk about (He shuts the door as they both sit down on the couch)

Plankton: (He gets up from behind the table and walks towards his invention) You two know each other?

Karen’s father: Well done Einstein (He rolls his eyes)

Karen: It can’t be, you died ten years ago on this day, I was just mourning you (She looks at him strangely)

Plankton: Unless you’re an impostor

Karen’s father: Who is this little freak?

Karen: He’s my husband and less of the freak, and anyway you still haven’t explained why you’re here

Karen’s father: Very well, The day after I died my computer spirit was sucked into one of those memory chips and when I was inserted into that machine by that small green guy…

Plankton: Yo

Karen’s father: …My life carried on the day it “ended”

Karen: I’ve missed you so much (She hugs him)

Plankton: Well if the family reunion has finished, we can all get back to living our happy lives…

Karen’s father: Well actually, I don’t have anywhere to live

Plankton: He couldn’t possibly stay here

Karen: That’s a great idea, you can stay here dad

Plankton: No I meant…

Karen’s father: Thank you so very much, I swear I’ll be gone as soon as I’ve found somewhere to live

Plankton: Better start looking now then (Karen glares at Plankton) I’m just saying is all

Sadie: (Squidward brings in a tray of cookies as he sits down besides her) It’s really great to know I’ve got such a kind and generous father

Squidward: You’ll never know how many times people have said that, well not the father part (She takes a cookie)

Sadie: One thing I never understood is why you left me and my mom?

Squidward: Your to young to understand and to be quite honest it’s a rather dull flashback but I will say that I had trouble raising a young child and that’s why I had to leave (She hugs him)

Karen: (She calls to Plankton’s who’s working in the lab) Could you come out of there, we’ve got a guest

Plankton: I’m busy (There’s a huge explosion) Now look what you made me do

Karen’s father: Is he usually like this?

Karen: Only on weekdays and weekends

Plankton: (He walks out the lab covered in dust) This is all your fault Karen

Karen’s father: Hey don’t talk to her like that

Plankton: Are you still here?

Karen’s father: (Sarcastically) No I left ten minutes ago

Plankton: Well in that case just get lost (They square up to each other)

Karen: Don’t talk to him like that

Plankton: You can shut up as well

Karen’s father: That is enough, Karen would you please meet me in the kitchen?

Plankton: Fine then run away, like you always do

Karen: I don’t have any legs (They both roll into the kitchen) What is it?

Karen’s father: Can’t you see how he treats you?

Karen: I know he can be a bit moody and angry and aggressive and everything else at times but that’s just the way he is

Karen’s father: Well I don’t like it, He’s not right for you

Karen: What are you saying?

Karen’s father: I’m saying that I think you should have a divorce

Karen: What? (She gasps)

Squidward: (He looks at his watch) Well it’s getting pretty late, shouldn’t you be getting home?

Sadie: I don’t have a home…

Squidward: But you…

Sadie: This may sound a little rushed, but could I stay with you tonight?

Squidward: But what about your mother?

Sadie: She doesn’t care what I do

Squidward: Well I don’t know (He looks at Sadie then thinks about it)

Karen: I’d never leave Plankton, I love him and he loves me and no one can take that special bond away from us (She walks out the kitchen)

Karen’s father: Karen wait…(He follows her)

Plankton: (Karen rolls in behind him) Hey Karen, what colour do you think I should paint our bedroom? It’s been needing a lick of paint for a while now

Karen: Your actually asking for my opinion?

Plankton: Well yeah, you’re my wife (He smiles at her)

Karen: How about a nice peachy colour)

Plankton: Peach?! That is why I never listen to you or value your opinions (She looks at her father)

Karen: Sheldon, can I have a word with you?

Plankton: Not now

Karen: It‘s really important, it’s about our marriage

Plankton: Whatever, can’t it wait?

Karen: No it can’t the sake of our marriage lies with you now

Plankton: Hang on, I just need to finish fine tuning this machine

Karen: (She looks at her father as she leaves the restaurant)

Spongebob: (He knocks on Squidward’s door and he answers it) Squidward, Gary told me you came around earlier and I wasn’t in, are you alright?

Squidward: I’m fine Spongebob, in fact I’m better than fine (Sadie appears at the door) This is my daughter, Sadie, and she’s given me the best birthday present I could ever ask for…

Spongebob: That’s great, what was it, a hover boat?

Squidward: No

Spongebob: X-ray specks, I bet it was those

Squidward: No, why don’t you come inside and get to know her as you’ll be seeing a lot more of each other (They all walk inside as Squidward shuts the door with a huge smile on his face)

Karen: (She returns to the Chum Bucket) I’m back

Plankton: At last, you can help me with the painting

Karen: I don’t think so, I’ll be the only one painting this restaurant from now on

Plankton: I think so to, I do deserve a rest (He sits down)

Karen: No, I’ll be the one painting as this is my house and restaurant now

Plankton: What? (Karen holds up a divorce paper and he reads it) A divorce? Why?

Karen: You don’t respect me or value my opinions and sometimes I think you don’t love me anymore

Plankton: I’ve always loved you

Karen: (She starts to tear up) Just go, I’m sorry

Plankton: But Karen…

Karen’s father: You heard the lady (He pushes Plankton outside)

Plankton: I bet you told her to have a divorce, everything was fine before you showed up

Karen’s father: Please, there were cracks in your marriage long before I showed up (He shuts Plankton out)

Plankton: This isn’t over… (He lies down on the ground looking up at the sky) …It’s only just begun (He starts to laugh as he slowly walks up to Karen’s father and reaches towards the memory chip

Karen’s father: Get out of here, you…(He powers out as Plankton holds up the memory chip) Now to make a few adjustments (He laughs as he starts to reconnect some wires)

Time card: The next day…

Karen: (She powers up as her screen turns on) Good morning dad, I slept like a calculator without Plankton’s welding or exploding something

Karen’s father: Hello daughter, how are you?

Karen: (Strangely) Fine…

Karen’s father: Have you thought about taking Plankton back yet?

Karen: I have… (Plankton is revealed to be behind a box controlling Karen’s father with the memory chip) …And you were right, I’m so better off without him

Karen’s father: (Plankton is shocked) Really?

Karen: Yeah, he was just weighing me down with his go nowhere life or career

Karen’s father: Well about that, I don’t think Plankton’s that bad…

Karen: Really? I value your opinion so do you think I should get back with him?

Karen’s father: Well…

Karen: It’s just that I haven’t felt anything for him in the last year or so and I just can’t live my life with someone I don’t love

Karen’s father: (Plankton tears up) Then your better off without him (He puts the controls down and slowly walks out the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: (He wipes the tears out of his eye and stands up) I’ll prove that I love Karen, and I’ll get her to love me just as much as I always have…

Season 3 episode 6 (46)- "The True Origin?"


Marty: (An old looking fish walks out of his house wearing a rain coat) I’m just going out for a walk dear (He shuts the door and walks out of his garden accidentally hitting into a huge sign right in front of his house) I never noticed that before (The board is three times the size of his house and blocking the sunlight) I can’t have it blocking my view of… (He looks around to see a run down city with hobo’s everywhere) … Well the point still remains that sign shouldn’t be there (He pulls out his glasses and starts to read the sign) “Visit Bikini Bottom, Home of the Krabby Patty: Don’t worry, the Toxic fumes have now gone” (There’s a picture of Mr Krabs holding a Krabby Patty) Am I reading that right? (He looks at the board strangely) Home of Krabby Patty?! That can’t be right (He puts his thumb out and a taxi drives up to him) Can I get to Bikini Bottom, please kind sir?

Taxi Driver: Yeah sure whatever (He gets into the taxi as he speeds off towards Bikini Bottom) Why do you wanna go to that hell-hole anyway?

Marty: Although I don’t see how it’s any of you business, I need to settle a score with someone

Taxi Driver: …That’s like what half the people who use my taxi’s want to do nowadays (He stops the taxi and he gets out and looks around)

Marty: Wow this place really let itself go (He walks through the broken down city) Now to find the Krusty Krab (He walks past the space needle and Sandy’s Treedome) Where is it? (He walks past the Library and up to the Chum Bucket) Chum Bucket? That sounds like a delightful eatery (He rolls his eyes as he knocks on the door)

Plankton: (He opens the door slowly) What is it? Can’t you see I’m busy mourning my wife?

Marty: Sorry, I didn’t know

Plankton: Oh she’s not dead, we’ve just got a divorce

Marty: So do you know where the Krusty Krab is?

Plankton: (He points across the street as he walks off) …But if you ever want to come to a real restaurant (He hands him a piece of paper) You know who to call (He walks across the street towards the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: (In the Krusty Krab he’s standing next to Sadie who‘s looking bored) That is a table, people eat off of it

Sadie: (She looks confused) Eat off of it, don’t you mean they eat off of plates on the table?

Squidward: You would have thought so (They watch everyone eat their food off the table) And that there is a bathroom people…

Sadie: I know what a bathroom is, dad (She walks towards the exit)

Squidward: Where are you going?

Sadie: Out with friends (She barges past Marty as he walks up to Squidward)

Marty: I’d like to order please

Squidward: One minute (He steps one step to his left and into the register) Yes? What do you want? We don’t have all day

Marty: (He looks at the menu) Wow there’s so much to choose from…

Squidward: As much as I love watching you stare at the menu for hours on end, There are people waiting behind you… (He points to the line of hungry customers)

Marty: Ok I think I‘m read to order now…

Squidward: (Sarcastically) Hallelujah

Marty: (He looks at the menu again) …I’ll just have some fries, a shake and total ownership of the Krusty Krab and it’s secret recipe

Squidward: Could you repeat the last thing? I kinda drifted out there

Marty: I want the Krusty Krab restaurant

Squidward: Right (He begins to write) total ownership… Wait, what? (Spongebob bursts out the kitchen and runs up to Marty)

Spongebob: What the hell are you talking about? Get out! You don’t come in here asking for a shake when we sold out yesterday (He looks angrily at Marty)

Marty: Well can I at least get total ownership of this restaurant, Then I’ll leave this greasy place and never return

Spongebob: You could…If you were Mr Krabs, and unless you’ve had some sort of strange body transplant while you’ve been on your honeymoon, I can’t let you do that

Marty: Well I guess I’ll be getting it myself (He walks towards the office but Spongebob blocks the door so he can‘t get past him) Oh for God’s sake, I just came in here to take over this restaurant and now your blocking my way, What next? (He tries to get past Spongebob but he won’t move)

Spongebob: It’s not that I don’t believe you, but I refuse to believe you, and anyway Mr Krabs and Plankton created the recipe together like fifty million years ago, not you

Marty: No they didn’t

Spongebob: Well maybe it was a bit earlier than that but…

Marty: No, I mean Krabs and Plankton didn’t create the formula, I did, it’s an old family recipe I’ve known for years

Spongebob: (In disbelieve) Go on

Marty: It all happened in the year known typically as 1964...

Squidward: (He sighs) Here we go (He starts to read his magazine)

(Flashback)

Marty’s Dad: (He circles Thanksgiving on his calendar as he watches a teenaged Marty walk past him) Hey son, Happy Thanksgiving, wanna come and watch the football with your old man?

Teenaged Marty: Maybe later dad (He walks into the kitchen and sits down at the table)

Marty’s Mom: I’m glad you’re here dear, You couldn’t give me a help with some of this food could you? I’ve got enough to feed an army and there families (He stand up and washes his hands)

Teenaged Marty: Say mom, are we making…?

Marty’s Mom: Of course (He hands Marty the recipe for “Burgers a la Mamma”)

(End of Flashback)

Marty: So then I started to make the burgers now known as “Krabby Patties” I forgot what the secret recipe was but the basic ingredients, in chronological order, were one chopped onion…

Squidward: Just get on with the freaking story!

Marty: Very well, We were all then ready go to my grandma’s house…

(Flashback)

Teenaged Marty: (He gets into the back of his dad’s boat mobile sitting in between the huge containers) Do we really need this much food?

Marty’s Mom: Yeah, you know how hungry your grandfather gets around Thanksgiving

Teenaged Marty: I did, Until he had his stomach stapled last year

Marty’s Mom: Oh yeah I forgot about that…Well the more for us (She smiles as Marty’s Dad gets into the boat mobile)

Marty’s Dad: So are we all ready to go? (They both nod) Well what are we waiting for?

Teenaged Marty: You… To start driving

Marty’s Dad: Well then lets go (He begins to drive the boat) Are you alright back there son? (He looks back at Marty)

Marty’s Mom: Keep your eyes on the road, your be the death of us all (They all laugh as he crashes the boat into the newly build Chum Bucket the burns down and setting the boat on fire) Richard! (He unconscious at the wheel, she tries to pull him out but she collapses under the heat while Marty falls out the boat gasping for breath) Mom! Dad! (He tries to get back into the boat but the door is jammed, He begins to cry as the fire engine starts to sound)

(End of flashback)

Marty: That was the last time I ever saw my parents, If I knew it would be I would have said how much I loved them both…

Spongebob: (He wipes a tear away from his eye) That was so sad, wasn’t it?

Squidward: Meh… (He carries on reading the magazine)

Marty: But that’s not all, While living with my grandparents my grandpa died and my grandma started to date a greedy crab who wanted one thing ….The secret formula for the burgers

Spongebob: Well I believe you (Spongebob is about to hand him the recipe when he suddenly stops)

Spongebob: (He gasps) Mr Krabs?

Marty: Yeah, My grandma dated Mr Krabs now please… (He holds his hands out)

Spongebob: No, Mr Krabs (He points to the door where Mr Krabs is staring angrily at Spongebob)

Mr Krabs: Spongebob!?

Marty: Krabs?!

Mr Krabs: Marty?!

Squidward: Shut up!

Mr Krabs: What are you doing Spongebob? (He takes the formula off of him) I leave for one week and I return to see you about to hand me formula over to some stranger

Spongebob: Actually you were gone for over a month…

Mr Krabs: Well it doesn’t matter how long I was gone you don’t just hand me business over to some stranger

Spongebob: If you two were strangers, How did you know his name a few seconds ago?

Mr Krabs: Our paths crossed once…

Marty: He means paths when he started sleeping with my grandma

Mr Krabs: What the hell are you talking about?

Marty: You stole the recipe for the so called “Krabby Patties” off of me and my family

Mr Krabs: You liar!

Spongebob: Did you have a good time on vacation, sir?

Mr Krabs: I did thank you son, now where was I? Oh yes… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? The recipe was created by me and Plankton years ago, you had nothing to do with it

Marty: Now you know that’s not true

Mr Krabs: (They square up to each other) Bring it on

Marty: Come on then old man (He punches Mr Krabs)

Spongebob: Now on the count of three one of you will tell me who’s telling the truth, Ok? One, Two, Three…

Mr Krabs and Marty: I’m telling the truth

Spongebob: Well were not going to figure this out anytime soon, so we’ve already heard Marty’s side of the story so now it’s time for Mr Krabs’, Take it away sir…

Mr Krabs: I’ll gladly tell you the true story, So make yourself comfy, I first met Marty in the midseventies…

(Flashback)

Radio Host: …Thank you for listening and now to end the show we have our newest release by Zeppelin “Black Dogfish”…

Plankton: (He turns the radio off just as the song starts to play he sits down) Who knows how many years I’ll be trying to chase after Krabs’ formula….

(End of flashback)

Nat: Wait how do you know what Plankton was doing and that he tuned the radio off all those years ago?

Fred: Yeah and why did he turn it off, I was about to jam to your flashback man

Mr Krabs: How about you shut up and listen…

(Flashback)

Plankton: …Krabs’ formula, I need to find someone who’ll do my job for me without being recognized (He stands up abruptly) That’s it (He fills dizzy then sits down) I shouldn’t stand up so quickly (He rubs his head) Oh yes, All I need to do is bribe some people to do it for me and I know just the people to choose (He presses a button and a huge hand grabs some people from the city and drop them into the Chum Bucket) …Random people (He watches them all run around in a panic) There’s no need to fear my idiot slaves, You will all go free once you’ve done me a favour (He laughs) Only a small favour, a tiny one in fact…I need you to overthrow a restaurant and steal it’s secret recipe and returning it to me

Marty: Now why should we do that?

Maria: Yeah, why?

Plankton: I haven’t thought of a punishment yet, but knowing me, I know I’ll think of something cruel and unusual, Now go my minions go and steal the formula (He laughs as they all walk out the Chum Bucket) Oh and I’ve forgot to mention that the first person to get it to me will be given a huge cash sum (They all run out the Chum Bucket and towards the Krusty Krab)

(End of flashback)

Spongebob: Then what happened Mr Krabs?

Mr Krabs: Many tried and failed but now Marty has returned to get the formula and make off with Plankton’s reward

Spongebob: Is that true Marty? (He looks around but can’t see him) Where is he?

Squidward: (He puts his head out from behind the magazine) He made off with the formula when Krabs started talking

Spongebob: Why didn’t you try and stop him?

Squidward: I was busy (He points at the magazine)

Mr Krabs: We really should stop supplying him with all those magazines (He and Spongebob run out the Krusty Krab and towards the Chum Bucket) When I lay my hands on those two… (Mr Krabs slams on the door of the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: Come in Marty

Mr Krabs: It’s me Krabs, we know Marty’s with you

Plankton: (He opens the door) Oh hey Krabs, How was your honeymoon?

Mr Krabs: Very enjoyable thanks for asking, Now where the hell is Marty?

Plankton: I could ask you the same question, where the hell is Marty? I handed him a piece of paper this morning with a fictitious story on it and now I don’t know where he is

Mr Krabs: Quit stalling, we know he’s in there with you (He bursts into the Chum Bucket and looks around but he‘s not there)

Plankton: Does it look like he’s here? I’ve been waiting here for hours

Mr Krabs: He couldn’t of…

Plankton: No, he couldn’t…Could he?

Spongebob: What are you guy’s talking about?…

Marty: (He runs into his house slamming the front door shut behind him and running into his bedroom) Now those two are off my back and I don’t have to take commands from that little, green freak I can finally go back to stealing the formula for myself (He smashes the glass bottle shooting the cork out of the window landing next to Mr Krabs’ foot)

Mr Krabs: (He picks up the cork and smells it) That’s the secret formula cork alright, Quick, he must be in that house (Spongebob and Mr Krabs burst into the house and start running upstairs)

Spongebob: (They run in on Marty unveiling the secret formula) Don’t even think about reading that

Marty: Too late (He looks at it as Spongebob tries to grab it off of him) It can’t be? The formula isn’t… Just one piece of crushed…

Plankton: (Outside the house he’s standing around) Once those two stop him he’ll most likely jump out the window, and I’ll be there to catch the formula when he does (He laughs) What’s taking him so long?

Mr Krabs: You mustn’t tell anyone the formula, Ok?

Marty: Are you kidding me? I’m going to spread it all over town completely destroying the Krusty Krab restaurant (He gets up to walk to the window) Now to tell the person who promised me a huge reward (He shouts to Plankton) Hey Plankton

Plankton: What?

Spongebob: Please don’t do this (They both slowly walk towards Marty at the window)

Marty: Do you wanna know the formula?

Plankton: What? You know it?

Marty: Yeah, I’ll let you know it if the offer of the reward is still on the table

Plankton: Yes it is, now what’s the secret formula

Marty: Have a look for yourself (He throws the formula out the window and it blows away) Don’t worry, I’ll just tell you what it is…

Plankton: Hurry up then

Marty: The secret formula is… (They all lunge at him and he pulls away but falls out the window hitting his head on the ground)

Plankton: Marty! (He runs up to him) Are you alright? (He slowly nods) The most important thing is that you remember the formula, Do you?

Marty: I-I’m fine…

Plankton: Do you still remember the secret formula?

Marty: I do…

Mr Krabs: Oh dear God, I thought he’d be dead (They both run down the stairs)

Marty: It’s pineapple

Plankton: What’s pineapple?

Marty: The recipe secret is pineapple secret

Plankton: Are you sure? I hate pineapple

Marty: I also like duck’s, rubber one’s

Plankton: I think he’s delirious (Spongebob and Mr Krabs run out the house and up to Marty)

Mr Krabs: You didn’t tell him did you?

Marty: It’s a crab (He laughs)

Spongebob: We should get him to hospital, He’s not right in the head

Plankton: No, but… (Spongebob and Mr Krabs pick him up)

Time Card: One hour later…

Marty: (He’s in bed at the hospital with a bandage on his head) I feel better now, thank you all

Plankton: Do you remember the formula?

Mr Krabs: This mans in hospital and all you can think about is the formula, That he hopefully can’t remember

Spongebob: What about the formula, it smashed on the ground

Mr Krabs: We can always print out a new copy and even if we don’t it’s all in here (He taps his head)

Plankton: Note to self: Create a device to enter Krabs’ brain

Mr Krabs: Come on kiddo, We better leave him to rest (Spongebob, Mr Krabs and Plankton all walk out the hospital as Marty sits up in bed rubbing his head)

Marty: Wait, it’s all coming back to me… (He clutches his head) ...Everything (He smiles evilly)

Season 3 episode 7 (47)- "High School: Confidential"



Squidward: (He’s walking back to his house carrying grocery bags while whistling a tune) I never noticed how peaceful Bikini Bottom is in the morning without (He shudders) Spongebob around (He walks into his house and turns the lights on and putting the grocery bags on the table he jumps back in a start when he notices Sadie hiding under the table) Oh dear God, What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at school?

Sadie: Uh, We had a snow day...

Squidward: In the middle of July?

Sadie: I mean a sun day, It was too hot to stay at school so…

Squidward: How about you sit down and tell me the real reason your not at School (They both sit on the couch)

Sadie: Ok, But you promise you won’t make a scene

Squidward: I promise

Sadie: Ok...So there are these girls at school...

Squidward: Your getting bullied?! (He bursts into the school followed by Sadie) Make way (He pushes past some students) Angry dad coming through (He pushes past a few more students) Now which girls are giving you hassle? (He looks around and points at a small fish) Is that one of them?

Sadie: No, It’s not her

Squidward: What about those girls? (He points at some girls applying makeup)

Sadie: It’s not those either

Squidward: Well then who is it? (She points at a group of butch looking fish slamming a boys face into a locker) Oh… Are you sure it’s those....They look pretty tough, What’s the leaders name?

Sadie: Stanley…

Squidward: Isn’t that a boys name?

Sadie: I guess her mom really liked that name (He slowly walks up to Stanley and taps her on the shoulder) Excuse me uh, Stanley

Stanley: What! (Squidward wipes the spit of his face as she raises her fist to Squidward)

Squidward: Now, now there’s no need for violence and that’s why I’m here, My daughter says that you bully her at School everyday, is this true? (She puts her fist down)

Stanley: No, I never beat anyone up

Squidward: Are you sure?

Stanley: Yeah (Squidward turns to Sadie)

Squidward: She seems nice (Stanley punches him in the back of the head and stuffs both Sadie and Squidward into a locker) I’d like to take back what I said earlier...

Time Card: One hour later...

Squidward: (He’s talking to the principal in his office) ...Then she locked us both in the locker and kept hitting us every three minutes and kicking us the other two minutes and fifty nine seconds

Principal: That’s our Stanley (He smiles)

Squidward: So I was just wondering if you could punish her or something

Principal: Meh, Maybe…

Squidward: Can’t I file a complaint?

Principal: If you must (He pulls out a piece of paper) I’ll need to see some ID and your high school diploma (Squidward pulls out them both as the principal looks at his ID) So Mr Tetras, Why do you want to file a complaint? (He pulls out a piece of paper and a pen)

Squidward: Tentacles...

Principal: (He looks at the paper) I’m afraid that’s not on the list of complaints

Squidward: Never mind, I’m here to file a complaint about bullying in this school

Principal: (He ticks the box and then looks at Squidward’s diploma) Oh... (He looks at it strangely)

Squidward: Is there something wrong?

Principal: What year did you graduate?

Squidward: 1976, why?

Principal: That would explain it

Squidward: Explain what?

Principal: Well the school changed the grading system in 1989 so your high school diploma is worth nothing now as your A’s and B’s would now equal a D’s or less…

Squidward: What do you mean?

Principal: It’s as if you never really completed high school at all

Squidward: So what your saying is that I have to take my high school education again?

Principal: That’s right, You and anyone who attended high school before 1989...

Sadie: So my dad will have to be in school with me?

Principal: So it would seem

Sadie: Say dad, I’ve heard there’s a really good school two towns over

Squidward: Your not getting rid of me that easily and besides I can keep and eye out for you if you continue to get bullied

Sadie: Damn

Squidward: Are you sure your correct?

Principal: I’m always correct, For I am the principal of Bubbly Bottom High School (He stands up heroically)

Squidward: (He whispers) Well he sure has a high opinion of himself

Realistic Fish Head: (He’s reporting from inside the high school) I’m here at Bubbly Bottom High School where... (The bell rings) …Where I’m almost late for class (He walks off as Patrick and Sandy walk through the hallway)

Sandy: This is so annoying, I don’t need to be here everyone here has already got a diploma (He looks at Patrick) Well maybe everyone (She looks around at the new surroundings) And how did Spongebob get out of coming today?

Patrick: He’s sick (He smells something) What is that wonderful smell?

Sandy: Well at least someone noticed my new deodorant

Patrick: It smells like fish sticks and jelly, together

Sandy: I’m not sure that’s the smell but...

Patrick: It’s coming from that way (He runs off towards the cafeteria)

Sandy: Some people get so distract... Hey look (She walks up to a poster that has “Science Fair” written on it) I bet I’d beat every sucker who entered that (She looks closer at the poster) Oh no, It’s today (She gasps in horror as she looks at her watch) I better get started (She runs off through the hallway)

Pearl: (She’s walking to school while Mr Krabs follows her) Can’t you make your own way to School? You may not have reputation but I do (She tries to speed up but Mr Krabs catches up with her)

Mr Krabs: What? Are you embarrassed by your old dad my little baby girl?

Pearl: Just find your own way to school (She runs up to her friends as Mr Krabs watches her)

Mr Krabs: See you later sweetie (He waves to her but she ignores him)

Janey: Is that your dad?

Pearl: Unfortunately… (Mr Krabs looks sad as he watches Pearl walk off to school with her friends)

Patrick: (He bursts into the cafeteria and looks at all the food he runs up to it and starts to eat) Oh great, I’ve died haven’t I

Lunch Lady: Your not dead, but you will be if you eat any of the meatlo…(Patrick eats the meatloaf) Why do I even bother?

Mr Krabs: (He walks to the school climbing over a fence) I don’t think that was the scenic route (He scrapes some of the thorns off of his clothes then walks up to the school) Now where’s the front door (He knocks on a door and a man is revealed with holding a rake)

Groundskeeper: ARGHH AGH (Mr Krabs runs away) Why does everyone always run from me? (He sadly shuts the door behind him)

Squidward: (In the school he’s hiding behind a locker when he sees Sadie walk past him being followed by a strong female fish) Who is that? (He continues to watch) I need to investigate (He runs up to the other lockers and hides while he watches the girl gain on Sadie) What’s going on? (He follows her as the music starts and he begins to sing) …



Strong female fish: (She looks around) Who the hell was just singing? (She turns around as Squidward hides behind the wall) Right your coming with me (She pulls Sadie along with her as Squidward sneaks after them both)

Squidward: Don’t worry Sadie, I’ll save you

Spongebob: (He’s lying on the sofa at home rubbing his nose and watching TV) I feel terrible (He flicks through the channels until he gets to some commercials) This is the last thing I need

Actor: (On TV) Hey kids, If your watching this why aren’t you at school trying to get an education?...

Spongebob: ...I’m really sic...

Actor: ...Your faking it aren’t you, thinking your “cool” well your not

Spongebob: No I...

Actor: I bet you didn’t know that the people who have so called sick days fail in life, even one day off could result in a failed life, are you a failure?

Spongebob: I need to get to school and change my attendance record, I don’t want to fail in life like all those nice hobo’s in the city (He gets up and runs outside leaving the door wide open as Gary slowly follows him outside)

Actor: (On TV) ...This commercial was sponsored by the board of home education: Stay out of school and stay at home instead

Mr Krabs: (He walks through the school yard past the swimming pool and past Squidward and Sadie being beaten up by Stanley) I better be more careful what doors I open, I don’t want to meet another raving lunatic (He slowly opens a door and a teacher walks up to him)

Mr C. Bass: You’re here (He puts his hand out)

Mr Krabs: Oh great another lunatic

Mr C. Bass: Why are you so late?

Mr Krabs: I couldn’t…

Mr C. Bass: Wait, tell me after class the students can’t hold on any longer, their starting to try and learn on there own

Mr Krabs: Wait, I’m not a teacher…

Mr C. Bass: Your not? Well then get to class at once…

Mr Krabs: (He has an idea) Oh sorry, I mean I am a teacher

Mr C. Bass: Well then why did you just say you weren’t?

Mr Krabs: It must have slipped my mind

Mr C. Bass: (He stares at him blankly) Just get in there (He pushes him into the classroom) Class, this is your new teacher… (He looks at Mr Krabs) …Some guy (To Mr Krabs) There all yours (He leaves)

Mr Krabs: So…. What class is this? (All the students look at one another)

Mrs T. Una: So before we start today‘s lesson let‘s see who‘s here (She picks up some paper and begs to read names out loud Richard?

Richard: What?

Mrs T. Una: Reginald?

Bill: Yes, kind teacher?

Mrs T. Una: Sadie?

Sadie: Yes miss

Mrs T. Una: Sheldon? (There’s no reply) Mr Plankton? Where is he?

Plankton: (He’s making his way through the bustling corridor looking at every door) This is stupid, I don’t belong here (He stops and watches everyone walking as the music starts) Oh great now I have to sing… (He starts to walk and sing) …



Plankton: (He looks up to see that it is classroom) At last (He walks inside as Spongebob sneaks past the door and through the corridor) Right, now to find the principals office (He continues to walk slowly as Gary slithers behind him) Where is it? (He walks past a classroom and notices Mr Krabs taking a class) Hey, it’s Mr Krabs (He continues to walk as in the class no one is listening to Mr Krabs)

Mr Krabs: Will everyone settle down (They make even more noise) Shut up and listen, all of you

Pearl: (She’s at the back of the class talking with her friends) …So then I was like no way and she was like yes way and then...

Mr Krabs: Pearl? (He looks closer at her) I didn’t notice you there honey

Pearl: Dad? (Everyone laughs)

Mr Krabs: Can you help me, none of your classmates are listening to me (She covers her face) Not even that boy you have a crush on over there (He points to a boy at the back of the class and everyone laughs as she looks up) He has got to go

Mrs T. Una: (In another classroom Sandy is making lots of noise at the back of the class with her flame thrower) …Then the atoms… (Sandy turns up the flamethrower making it louder) Oh come on (She walks up to Sandy) Miss Cheeks (She continues using the flamethrower) SANDY! (She unplugs the flamethrower as she looks up)

Sandy: Why did you do that? I need to finish this for today

Mrs T. Una: (She glares at Sandy then begins to walk to the front of the classroom) Now that Miss Cheeks has finished using the flamethrower we can get back to our lesson: How to use a flamethrower

Stanley: (She leans forward and hits both Squidward and Sadie in the back of the head)

Squidward: (He turns around) Now that’s enough

Stanley: What’s enough (She punches Squidward in the face)

Squidward: Oh, that’s it now (He punches her in the chest and everyone gasps)

Stanley: Ow, that hurt slightly (She stands up)

Sadie: (She whispers to Squidward) Don’t you know what you’ve done, Dad? If anyone even touches her she beats them to death

Squidward: I’m sure she won’t do that...

Sadie: Do you not know why she doesn’t have a mom or dad (Squidward gets nervous)

Mrs T. Una: That’s it, I quit

Stanley: Today, at lunch

Squidward: Oh, Well maybe not today...How does next year suit you?

Stanley: Lunch or right here right now

Squidward: Lunch it is then (Squidward wipes the sweat from his face as Stanley tips up a table in anger)

Mrs T. Una: That’s it, I quit

Patrick: (He’s in the cafeteria eating all the food) This is the nicest food I’ve ever tasted

Lunch Lady: Really? Most of the food contains Seahorse intestines and chum…

Patrick: It’s Heaven (He picks up a pie and starts to sing)



Lunch Lady: (She uncovers her ears) Never do that again

Patrick: Sorry… (The bell sounds and Patrick can hear everyone running towards the cafeteria) Oh no, there coming (He looks around at all the food) Help me Mavis

Lunch Lady: It’s your mess now fat boy (He tries to clear it up the discarded food but the principal opens the door and stares at Patrick)

Principal: I don’t know who your are but DETENTION! (He drags him out the cafeteria and throws him in detention)

Patrick: I don’t belong here (He looks out the bars at a fish who looks at him) Don’t look at me like that, I was once like you (He starts to cry)

Mr C. Bass: (In the cafeteria Mr Krabs is sitting at the table with all the other teachers) ...And then the little brat asked me if I had marked his work (Everyone laughs besides Mr Krabs who fakes a smile)

Pearl: (At the back of the Cafeteria she’s watching Mr Krabs) I need to think of something to get him out of here (Mr Krabs waves at her) ...And fast (She ducks from Mr Krabs)

Sandy: (At the table she’s using a blow torch on her project getting bits of metal in everyone’s food) Come on blowy

Nat: (The pieces of metal is getting into his food) Do you mind? I’m trying to eat here

Fred: Hey at least she’s giving the food some flavour (He eats the pieces of metal) Mmm, Nutritious

Nat: Why don’t you just go outside and do that? We don’t want you here let alone when your using that blowtorch

Sandy: Fine then (She gets up and walks out the cafeteria walking past the Library where Plankton is sitting and reading the “Guide to taking over the World”)

Plankton: I don’t know why they don’t call this the good book (He continues to read when some nerds approach him and sit near him) Can I help you?

Nerd #1: We couldn’t help notice that you have a rather large cranium when compared to your body size

Plankton: Um, Ok that seems like sort of a random thing to say

Nerd #1: I have a gift of noticing big heads, Don’t I Spock? (The other nerd nods his head) Anyways, How would you like to join our secret community?

Plankton: Hell n... (He thinks) Wait if I join there stupid community I could use there nerdy minds to steal the formula and take over the Krusty Krab (He speaks aloud) Fine I’ll join your stu…Great community

Nerd #1: We know, We could hear your thoughts

Plankton: Excellent (He smiles evilly)

Squidward: (In the cafeteria he looks at his dinner tray) What’s that? (He points at the throbbing piece of food)

Lunch Lady: It’s supposedly broccoli, It’s supposedly good for you (He turns around and his food flies into Stanley’s face)

Stanley: Looks like someone's ready to fight (Squidward slowly backs away as music starts and she gets into a kung fu stance)

Squidward: Oh come on, this is hardly fair she’s got her own soundtrack and all (She then starts to warm up and start to sing)



Squidward: (She kicks Squidward across the room then approaches him again with a grin on her face) This isn’t going to end well (He tries to run away but she grabs him and punches him many times)

Spongebob: (He’s crawling through the vents above the school) Now I just have to find the principals office (He keeps turning around when her hears noises) Who is that following me? (Gary is slowly crawling behind him) Hello? Anyone there? (It gets louder so he speeds up though the vent as he starts to sing) …



Spongebob: (He starts to cough) Wow that wore me out (He looks down to see that he’s directly above the principals office) There it is (The vent starts to shake and Gary falls out the vent and into a science lab where everyone stares at him while Spongebob manages to hold on to the collapsing vent as he watches the principal stand up)

Principal: Well I think I deserve some lunch (He walks out his office as Spongebob lowers himself down to the filing cabinet but the principal returns) Well I can’t buy food without money (He stares at Spongebob holding his attendance record and dangling right in front of him)

Spongebob: Uh oh

Patrick: (In detention he looks at everyone staying completely still then he looks at the warden who’s fast asleep) Who feels like a song showing how I’m feeling at the moment (They all stare at him blankly as he starts to sing) Here we go…



Warden: (He wakes up in a start and rubs his ear) Oh great I’m hearing music in my head, My hearing aid must be acting up again (He runs out the detention hall as they all get up and gather in a circle)

Patrick: (Confused) What’s going on?

Nancy: Were breaking out of here

Patrick: But how?

Jim: We’ve got everything we need besides a small sharp object and something stretchy (Patrick is cleaning some food of his teeth with a toothpick)

Patrick: Sorry, That cafeteria food really sticks to your teeth

Sandy: (Outside she takes her welding mask off and looks at her science fair entry) Looks pretty good if I do say so myself, and I do of course (She hears the bell ring and she looks at her watch) Oh no, I’ve only got a minute to get to the gym (She gets up and runs towards the gym with her science fair project) Hurry up Sandy (She bursts into the gym and slams her project on the table) Just so everyone know it’s exactly one o’ clock and no later (She smiles as everyone stares at her strangely) What? (The judge start judging the other people’s projects and she relaxes)

Plankton: (He walks out the basement followed by the nerds) This plan is brilliant there no way it can fail (He laughs) I’ll have the formula in no time

Nerd #1: WE will have the formula in no time

Plankton: (Under his breath) Yeah…Right

Nerd #2: Well we do need some of the equipment first but none the less it won’t be to hard to find

Plankton: Well where will we find what we need?

Nerd #1: Well some of the stuff can be found from people’s experiments in the science fair

Plankton: Well then what are we waiting for? (They all run off to the gym)

Stanley: (She punches Squidward when he tries to stand up she hits him down again)

Squidward: Please stop (His nose starts to bleed)

Stanley: This is a fight to death remember?

Squidward: Oh yes (He starts to cry as Mr Krabs walks into the fight stopping Stanley hit Squidward)

Mr Krabs: That’s enough you two

Pearl: Just stop it dad, your not a teacher and you never were

Mr Krabs: But baby

Pearl: I’m not your baby (She storms out the cafeteria and as Stanley watches Pearl leave, Sadie punches her in the face and she falls to the floor)

Squidward: Wow (He stands up and watches Stanley on the floor) Your a bigger man than I ever was (They both hug each other as everyone cheers)

Patrick: (In detention they assemble the contraption) So...What now?

Gil: We need to find something stretchy, Anyone got anything? (Spongebob is thrown into detention)

Spongebob: Uh...Hey (They all look at each other)

Mr Krabs: (He walks through the hallway looking for Pearl) Pearl? Where are you honey? (He continues to walk sadly around the school as he starts to sing) …



Mr Krabs: (He sees Pearl sitting on the step outside) Pearl? (He runs up to her and sits down beside her) I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends, I guess I’m just an embarrassing dad

Pearl: (She looks up) No, I should be the one apologising, Your a great dad but I’d get embarrassed by you even if you were the coolest dad ever

Mr Krabs: I thought I was (They both laugh) But I shouldn’t treat you like a child anymore, I’m just afraid I’ll lose you when you leave to start a new life

Pearl: Awh dad (She hugs him as Mr Krabs stands up and walks inside the school and here the principal in the cafeteria)

Principal: What happened here? (He looks at the mess caused by the students) Who did this?

Mr Krabs: (He looks at Pearl who’s getting laughed at by her friends) I-It was me, I trashed the cafeteria for some reason

Principal: (He’s shocked) I can’t believe it, Even though your a great teacher I’m going to have to lay you off...

Mr Krabs: Ok... (He walks off through the corridor with Pearl)

Principal: Well that was easy (He smiles and walks off)

Lunch Lady: Fine then, don’t help me (She mutters under her breath as she cleans the cafeteria)

Sandy: (In the gym the judge walks up to Sandy’s experiment and stares at it)

Judge: What may I ask, is that?

Sandy: It’s a volcano

Judge: I can sort of see that... (She tilts her head back and closes one eye looking at the volcano)

Sandy: I only had a few hours, Ok (She pulls some Mentos out of her pocket) Prepare to be amazed

Judge: Oh, Here we go (She places them into the volcano as Gary bursts in being chased by a student)

Student: Come back here, We only want to dissect you a little bit (Gary creates a slime trail that Plankton slips up and his plan falls into the top of the volcano)

Plankton: My plan! (He runs up to the volcano)

Judge: I’m waiting… (The volcano expands while the detention students run into the gym creating havoc)

Sandy: Something’s wrong, terribly wrong (It gets even bigger as the detention students tip it over) TAKE COVER! (The volcano blows up shooting a huge hole in the gym and it collapses to the ground)

Sandy: So… Do I win? (She watches everyone passed out on the floor and the destroyed gym) Second place then?

Principal: Now to check on the science fair (He opens the gym to see everything completely destroyed) What happened here?

Sandy: I destroyed your school with my science fair project (He gasps)

Spongebob: No I did (He gasps)

Patrick: No it’s my fault (He gasps)

Principal: Wow, I’m all gasped out, I can’t be bothered with this so your all expelled (Everyone cheers) You people are strange (He leaves)

Mr Krabs: Who wants to come to the Krusty Krab? (Everyone cheers besides Plankton who’s crying over his destroyed plan)

Lunch Lady: (She walks into the gym) I’m not clearing that up

Mr Krabs: Let’s roll (They all walk out the school and over the hill as Sadie and Squidward hold hands so does Pearl and Mr Krabs and Sandy and Spongebob while Patrick walks with Gary over towards the setting sun)



"Who's that Girl?" - The Eurytimitics
"Midnight Cowboy/Everybody's Talkin'" - Harry Nilsson
"Eat it" - Weird Al Yankovic
"Kung Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas
"Somebody's Watching Me" - Rockwell
"Isolation" - John Lennon
"Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word" - Elton John
"Life on Mars" - David Bowie

Season 3 episode 8 (48)- "Lost in Cyberspace"



Mr Krabs: (In his office he finishes writing an email and proceeds to sent it but it won’t sent probably) Come on, work you stupid hunk a junk (He hits the machine and it starts to power down) Oh great, just what I need

Spongebob: (He looks at the computer) I think we need a new computer Mr Krabs

Mr Krabs: It’s fine…Look (The computer starts to smoke) I told you, look it’s fine

Spongebob: Is it supposed to smoke like that?

Mr Krabs: Of course, that’s one of it’s features

Spongebob: Is it meant to be catching alit as well?

Mr Krabs: What? (He turns around to see the computer on fire) Probably (He puts it out with a fire extinguisher)

Spongebob: I think it’s broken (Mr Krabs hits it but nothing happens)

Mr Krabs: Nonsen…Awh your right (He sits down sulking) We don’t really need a computer anyway

Spongebob: Well it does bring many customers here and it is a great way to interact with people and you can find anything you want out on Goog…

Mr Krabs: …Ok, Spongebob that’s enough we don’t want to get sued (He sits up straight) I guess we do need a computer but how am I going to buy one with no money?

Spongebob: What about the millions of dollars you own

Mr Krabs: I need that…For later

Spongebob: So how are you going to buy one?

Mr Krabs: How about this? If I come across some money anytime today, I’ll buy a new computer

Spongebob: That’s a good idea, sir (He stands up) I better go, those patties won’t cook themselves (He walks out the office)

Mr Krabs: (He looks at the destroyed computer) Now what to do with you (He dumps it in the garbage outside the Krusty Krab) Done and done (The mailman walks up to him and hands him a letter) A letter? For me?

Mailman: Do we have to go through this everyday, of course it’s for you (He walks off in annoyance as Mr Krabs pulls out a cheque for $1,000)

Mr Krabs: Do my eyes deceive me? Money (He reads the letter attached to it) “Congratulations Eugene Krabs, you and your restaurant have won the award for Best Restaurant in Bikini Bottom for the fifty seventh time: Attached is your cheque for $1,000 dollars) Oh look, I’ve won again (He holds up the cheque to the sun) Well it looks real (He slowly puts it into his pocket) I’ll add this to the stash of money in my mattress (Spongebob walks out and looks at the cheque)

Spongebob: Hey, is that a cheque? Remember our little deal (He smiles at Mr Krabs then walks back inside)

Mr Krabs: Damn Spongebob, Always appears when I don’t want him to

Time card: One low cost trip to the store later…

Mr Krabs: (In the mall he’s talking to a salesman) So I wanna buy a new computer, which one should I choose?

Computer salesman: (He points to a computer) Well this one is a new model designed by…

Mr Krabs: Just give me a cheap computer that can send a simple email

Computer salesman: Your need a top model to do something as challenging as sending an email (He points to a sleek looking computer with many attachments) Like that one

Mr Krabs: Fine whatever

Computer salesman: It also comes with a free “Ultra Safe Safe” for the latest…

Mr Krabs: I already said I’ll take it, Jeez just take my money

Time Card: One low cost trip home later…

Mr Krabs: (In his office he plugs the computer into the wall as Spongebob walks into the office) Stupid wire

Spongebob: I see you’ve got a new computer (He walks up to it)

Mr Krabs: (He presses a button and the computer turns on) At last

Computer: Greetings …

Spongebob: I think it wants to know your name

Mr Krabs: Now why the flying horse-waffle would it want to know that?

Computer: Voice detected (The computer loads) Greetings Horse waffle

Spongebob: Hey what’s that? (He points to the box behind Mr Krabs)

Mr Krabs: Oh that, it’s some sort of safe that came with the computer

Spongebob: Well maybe you should use it, the other safe is looking pretty unsafe if you know what I mean (He points to the safe and the door falls off of it)

Mr Krabs: God everything’s falling apart today (He looks at the box) Well this doesn’t look to hard, you only need to attach it to the wall

Spongebob: I really think you should hire someone to install it into the wall for you

Mr Krabs: Thanks for offering, lad (He walks out of his office)

Spongebob: …But (He slams the door behind him) Well I better get going, maybe if I do a good job Mr Krabs might pay me

Mr Krabs: (From outside) Think again (Spongebob starts to take the parts of the safe out of the box and lay them across the floor)

Spongebob: Doesn’t look like I’ll be sleeping tonight (He picks up the instructions)

Time Card: Sometime later…

Spongebob: (He polishes the safe and takes a step back) I think I’ve done a pretty good job (He slowly walks out of the office to see how dark it is outside) Wow I better get home from work, I don’t want to be late for work tomorrow (He runs outside accidentally hitting the trashcan over as he sprints back home the destroyed computer hits the ground and turns on to a blank screen that projects into the night sky creating a tiny rip in the air that gradually gets larger) It’s good to be home (He walks inside his house and crawls into bed) I’m going to sleep like a tired person who‘s sleepy (He falls asleep then wakes up a few seconds later) Well time for work (He gets out of bed and walks to work past the destroyed computer and walking past Squidward)

Spongebob: Morning Squidward

Squidward: You couldn’t do me a favour, I’ve got a really bad headache so could you try not to shout today…Or talk

Spongebob: (Whispering) Sure buddy (He walks into the kitchen) ORDER UP!

Squidward: (He groans and puts his head on the register)

Spongebob: (He’s looks through the serving hatch at an empty space while breathing over Squidward)

Squidward: Will you cut that out? (He pushes Spongebob back into the kitchen)

Squidward: Thank y… (He walks out the kitchen and looks at the table strangely)

Squidward: Eugh, What are you doing now?

Spongebob: It’s almost ten past eleven and Patrick isn’t here

Squidward: So what, I count that as a good thing

Spongebob: But he’s here every Wednesday for his weekly Krabby Patty, He has been ever since I started working here

Squidward: Well maybe he doesn’t like you, Not many do you know

Spongebob: Something must be really wrong (He walks out the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: Where are you going?

Spongebob: I need to check on Patrick, Cover for me I won’t be gone for long (He shuts the door behind him)

Squidward: Well if Spongebob’s gone what’s the point of me being here (He gets up to leave but Mr Krabs pokes his head out of the office)

Mr Krabs: …And where do you think your going? (Squidward sits down and mumbles under his breath) I don’t pay you to mumble Mr Squidward (He walks to the computer and sits down refreshing his email to see if anyone has sent him anything) Nothing, once again (He refreshes the page again) Maybe I’ll check my spam folder (He checks the spam folder and there’s nothing in there) Well good…I’m glad I have no emails (He sits back) I can relax (He hits his head on the “Ultra Safe safe”) Oh I didn’t notice what Spongebob spent all his hard work on last night (He gets up and looks at the safe) Hmm, looks pretty shoddy to me (He sits back down) Well maybe someone has sent me an email while I was standing up for six seconds

Spongebob: (He walks back towards the Krusty Krab) I guess he might be at a store or something (He walks into the Krusty Krab as he hears a faint noise from somewhere) What was that? (He listens again and it gets louder) Where’s it coming from? (He bends down and can hear the noise coming from the computer in the garbage) It must be malfunctioning again (He presses a button and Patrick appears on the screen) Patrick?! What happened?

Patrick: Spongebob, help me I’m stuck in this computer again

Spongebob: Not again, I need help, help from a scientist who I haven’t seen in a while (He’s in the Treedome holding the computer)

Sandy: …So how’s life? It seems like I haven’t seen you in ages

Spongebob: Tell me about it…

Patrick: If you don’t mind, I’m stuck in here remember?

Sandy: Oh yeah, sorry Patrick (She takes the computer from Spongebob and puts it onto a table and carefully takes off the top of the computer) Just as I thought…

Spongebob: Just as you thought what?

Sandy: Patrick’s started to reverse to his ghost form again, We need to hurry and find a way to rescue him before it’s too late

Spongebob: Ghost form, reverting, hurry?

Sandy: How about you stop repeating everything I say and find a way to save Patrick

Spongebob: Good idea, But how will we get in there? Do you have some sort of invention

Sandy: I do…If you gave me a two year warning, but we’ll just have to find the black hole Patrick told me he got sucked into

Spongebob: So…Any idea’s where it might be?

Sandy: No, We’ll just have to look everywhere as it’s receding and we need to find it before it makes it impossible to save Patrick (They both run out the Treedome) You go one way and I’ll go another (They both run opposite ways)

Plankton: (In the Chum Bucket he hits a stop watch with a hammer and it powers up) Finally, All this hard work spent fixing this time stopping watch has finally paid off (He holds it up) And who would know that without Karen I could get it finished three times as fast (He laughs to himself) Ooh, I miss her so much (He walks out the Chum Bucket and looks at the Krusty Krab) Now the formula will be mine, Like I say almost everyday but this time I can’t fail (He presses the stop watch and everything in the ocean freezes besides Plankton) Take that, time (He walks into the Krusty Krab and into Mr Krabs’ office where Mr Krabs is frozen at the computer) Right now for the formula (He walks up to the Ultra Safe safe) Well this is new (He types the code on the safe and it doesn’t open) Strange (He pulls harder but it won’t open) Come on (He pulls as hard as he can but falls off the safe hitting the ground and smashing the watch on the floor) My watch! All that wasted time (Everyone unfreezes and Mr Krabs continues to look at his email and begins to type)

Mr Krabs: …To reply to your email, I am not interested in what you are offering but anytime you want to have a chat just sent me an email (He sends it then sits back on his chair) Maybe I should spend some time away from the computer (He moves away then turns back) Times up… (He notices Plankton on the ground looking at him) How did you get in here?

Plankton: None of your business (He points to the safe) And what’s up with your new safe, It’s impossible to get into

Mr Krabs: Why do you think I bought this computer, so it gives you even less chance to get the formula (He hits the safe with his claw) It’s completely Plankton resistant (He laughs as he reaches for the safe) See, it only opens to me (He pulls the handle but it won’t open) Just bare with me a second (He pulls harder) Oh no, Don’t say I…

Plankton: Say you what?

Mr Krabs: I think I locked the keys inside the safe when I was putting all me money in there

Plankton: All my money, not me money: Jeez some people’s grammar

Mr Krabs: This isn’t the time, the fate of The Krusty Krab rests on me and this safe

Plankton: Fate you say (He laughs)

Mr Krabs: I didn’t think I’d ever say this but…Plankton bring some dynamite to the Krusty Krab

Plankton: It’ll me my pleasure Krabs (He runs out the office)

Patrick: (Inside the computer he’s floating around in complete whiteness and as he look around at nothing the music slowly starts…)



Deep voice: (A deep voice bellows) Hey who the hell’s playing Elton John songs? Oh it’s you…Your finally back Patrick Star

Patrick: Oh no, Not this guy

Deep voice: So glad you could join me…Forever, as a ghost (He laughs as Patrick starts to transform into a ghost)

Patrick: No please, Not again (He screams)

Deep voice: Yes again (He laughs as Patrick floats around trying to get out of the room as he continues to transform)

Patrick: HELP! Please

Spongebob: (He lifts some algae as he clutches his head) Patrick’s in danger, I need to hurry (He picks up a rock) Nope, it’s not here (He picks up another rock) It’s not here either

Sandy: (She looks behind Squidward’s house then notices Patrick’s house is open slightly) Huh? (He walks into Patrick’s house to see Patrick sitting on a chair) P-Patrick? What are you doing here I thought you were stuck in the computer

Patrick: Nope

Sandy: (She runs outside and calls for Spongebob) Spongebob, hurry I’ve found Patrick he was at his house all along

Spongebob: (He runs up to Patrick) Thank goodness your alright buddy (Patrick says nothing) Patrick? (He touches Patrick’s hand but it’s just a hologram) What’s going on, That’s not Patrick

Sandy: What do you mean?

Spongebob: (He notices a wire behind the chair connecting to the electricity) Look he’s plugged in (He unplugs the wire as the hologram fades the black hole reappears behind it)

Sandy: Look, there it is (She grabs Spongebob) We need to jump inside, it’s are only hope (They take a deep breath and jump into the black hole as it closes and bursts into little pieces)

Spongebob: (He spins through the air until colliding with the ground)

Sandy: Spongebob get up (Spongebob stands up with Sandy as they look around the internet with thousands of floating advertisements and portals to different websites everywhere) Sweet Holy Neptune’s son (They both continue to look around in amazement)

Mr Krabs: (In the Krusty Krab he finishes layering the walls with bomb resistant foam) You ready? (Plankton nods as he presses a button and there’s an explosion but nothing has happened to the safe)

Plankton: We need some dynamite so explosive, Albert Nobel himself would be proud I owned

Mr Krabs: Who?

Plankton: The creator of dynamite, Only the people with the best knowledge would know who he is

Mr Krabs: Just get the damn explosive

Sandy: (They both walk around the web) This place is pretty creepy

Spongebob: I know, just look at all those websites, Yout… (Sandy clears her throat) I mean, MePipe, Goggle and FacePad (They continue to walk through the web when Spongebob spots a website called TVT.Com) TVT.Com, that sounds like a great place to visit after we’ve saved Patrick (A skeleton falls out of TVT.Com)

Sandy: Maybe not, that place is dead (She looks around again) We’ve been wondering around for hours, Do you have any clue where he could be?

Spongebob: Wait, remember when Patrick was a ghost in the Krusty Krab computer?

Sandy: Ah memories (She smiles)

Spongebob: Well he was in that huge white room, remember?

Sandy: Oh yeah, I remember now

Spongebob: So we just need to find that room (They continue to walk on until they reach a small room) It must be around here somewhere

Sandy: Or not (They both look at the huge room connected to the small one that seems to go on forever)

Spongebob: That may take some time

Mr Krabs: (They’re both outside and Mr Krabs is holding a button) Ready again?

Plankton: Ready (He presses a button and there’s an explosion in the Krusty Krab and as they run inside to see the safe still intact) OH COME ON (He kicks the safe in anger)

Mr Krabs: This is so stupid (He looks at Plankton) Well as much as I hate saying this, you’ve actually been quite a good help tonight Plankton but we should wait until tomorrow we don’t want any more damage to the bomb proof foam, I need to return it for a refund (He starts to peels the foam off the wall)

Plankton: Fine whatever (They both walk out the Krusty Krab and Mr Krabs locks the door)

Mr Krabs: Don’t go getting any ideas will you

Plankton: Please, Krabs what do you take me for? (He walks off home as Plankton pulls some dynamite out of his pocket) He couldn’t of seriously thought I’d use my most explosive dynamite with him around (He laughs as he walks around the back of the Krusty Krab he pushes open the back door) Plankton you thought of everything (He walks to Mr Krabs’ office and starts to wrap the dynamite around the safe) Ooh I’m so clever

Spongebob: (They both continues to walk around the internet) I swear it was around here somewhere (Spongebob glances at a huge white area where a door is slowly closing downwards) Hurry (They both run to the door and Spongebob manages to get inside) That was close, right Sandy? (He turns to see Sandy imprinted on the back of the door) Sandy?

Sandy: I’m Ok, you just go on and find Patrick, What’s it like in there?

Spongebob: It’s all white I suppose…I mean right

Sandy: Well can you see Patrick?

Spongebob: N…Wait I think that’s him (He watches Patrick hovering at the top of the room) Patrick? Is that you? (He looks at a half ghost version of Patrick still transforming) What’s going on up there?

Patrick: Spongebob? (He looks at Spongebob) You’ve got to help me I’m turning into a ghost again

Spongebob: Not again (He sighs) Hold on buddy (He jumps up to reach him but he can’t) How am I gonna get up there with nothing to help me (He has an idea) Maybe something in here can help me (He looks around at the vast emptiness) Well that figures

Patrick: Hurry Spongebob, I don’t have much longer (He looks at his arms as the disappear and at his now transparent body) I can’t be ghost again, I’m only just mastered that I can’t walk through walls

Spongebob: …Wait that’s it (He stand next to the door and starts to speak to Sandy) Sandy I need to ask you for a huge favour

Sandy: What is it?

Patrick: Hurry please (Sandy punches the door hitting Spongebob who flies through the air)

Spongebob: (As he’s flying through the air) Thanks Sandy

Sandy: No problem (She rubs her fist that starts to bleed) I think I’m going to need some ice, and a bandage and some medical attention

Spongebob: (He reaches Patrick and trying to grab him he just passes straight through) NO! (He continues to fly through until he grabs onto a passing rope) Oh no, I can’t hold on much longer (The rope pulls a compartment where a huge machine falls to the ground) What was that?

Patrick: That’s the machine that’s turning me into a ghost, You need to turn it off

Spongebob: But how?

Patrick: I don’t know, Just please hurry (Spongebob falls to the ground and runs to the machine pulling off it’s cover and inside there is many coloured wires)

Spongebob: There’s so many wires, which to choose (He starts to sweat) Come on Spongebob (He looks around to see Sandy bursting the door down) Sandy quick help, what wire should Ie cut?

Sandy: (She runs up to the machine feeling each wire slowly) According to the distinction of variants in….

Spongebob: Just tell we which one to cut

Sandy: The metal one

Spongebob: How am I going to cut that

Patrick: Quickly would be the best option

Spongebob: Don’t worry buddy, This won’t take long (He karate chops the metal wire and it slowly starts to snap he keeps doing it when he hands start to bleed) Please just break (He starts to cry) Please…

Sandy: Stop Spongebob, it’s useless…With weak hands such as yours (She hit’s the metal wire and it breaks making the white room flash as the deep voice starts to laugh)

Spongebob: What’s so funny? We defeated you

Deep voice: You didn’t seriously think I would have put all of my power in that one machine (He laughs) Stupid, stupid creatures

Spongebob: What are you talking about?

Deep voice: The only way you’ll save your ‘buddy’ now is to destroy this whole room, that’s endless and unbreakable and besides it’s too late, your friends already with me now

Spongebob: It can’t be true (The white room starts to spark and blow up) What’s going on?

Sandy: There must be something outside causing some sort of explosion

Deep voice: OW! (Pieces of the room start to fall off to reveal thousands of wires and panels everywhere)

Plankton: (He’s watching the Krusty Krab explode in thousands of different pieces from far away) There’s no way the safe could survive that (In the Krusty Krab the computer is being thrown around the office with parts falling off everywhere)

Sandy: Hey look (She points at a huge hole in the top of the white room) We need to get out of there it’s an exit from the computer

Patrick: (They watch Patrick slowly turn back to normal and as they wait for an explosion they both jump into the air grabbing Patrick and flying through the hole)

Deep voice: I'll get you one day Patrick Star, You're meant to be a ghost and a ghost you shall be

Patrick: (He returns back to normal) Awh shut up, can you believe that guy?

Plankton: (The explosions stop and he slowly walks through the destroyed Krusty Krab walking into the office) Now for the moment of truth (He walks inside to the see the safe is open) YES! (He runs to the safe looking around inside he can’t find the formula) What? Where is it?

Spongebob: Looking for this? (The three are revealed from behind the door holding the formula)

Plankton: Where did you come from?

Patrick: I’ll answer that (He walks up to Plankton) Plankton, your at the age now where you start to learn about S-E-X…

Plankton: I mean how did you get in here and survive the explosions?

Sandy: We burst out the computer just as the explosions finished (She points to the destroyed computer on the floor)

Mr Krabs: (He walks into the office) So Plankton, I just arrived home then realised I kept a spare key atop the safe for when…(He looks around at the destruction) Wait what happened here?

Plankton: I don’t know what angers me more, the fact that you didn’t notice the destruction until you were finished talking or the fact that you had a spare key all along

Mr Krabs: Well at least the recipe’s safe (He puts the formula back in the safe locking it with a key on top of it)

Plankton: I think I know what aggravates me more (He starts to chase Mr Krabs out the Krusty Krab) Come here you

Mr Krabs: Wait why are you chasing me? You destroyed my restaurant (He starts to chase Plankton then Plankton starts to chase Mr Krabs)

Patrick: Thanks guys for saving me, I didn’t think I would make it this time

Sandy: Well it was pretty obvious you would…

Spongebob: Don’t mention it buddy (Patrick hugs them both as the deep voice booms)

Deep voice: Not so fast, I have infiltrated the… (Sandy turns the computer off and his voice fades away)

Spongebob: (He looks around the Krusty Krab) We should really tidy this place up

Patrick: Meh… I’m pretty tired, I’ve had enough of computers today…Hey wanna come round my house and play computer games

Sandy: Hell to the yeah (They all walk with Patrick towards his house)

Spongebob: I’m so gonna beat you all

Sandy: Not if I have anything to do with it

Patrick: Me neither… (Their voices fade off as the episode ends)


Elton John - "Funeral for a Friend"

Season 3 episode 9 (49)- "Below and Beyond"



Mayor: (In the city hall everyone is listening to the mayor reading from a list) ...Then Old man Jenkins and finally that weird bearded guy who never speaks, Where are they all disappearing to? (A rather empty hall start to mumble with one another)

Larry: (He stands up and everyone looks at him) Well maybe everyone’s just gone on vacation

Sandy: At the same time?

Squidward: Yeah, Why not? If Mr Krabs ever paid me, I would have been gone weeks ago

Fred: (He nods his head) Same here

Spongebob: Speaking of Mr Krabs, where’s Fred’s boss?

Fred’s Boss: I’m over here (He stands up)

Spongebob: Well then where’s Mr Krabs? (Everyone begins to look around the hall not finding him)

Sandy: He was here earlier, he was sat next to me before he left to go to the bathroom

Mayor: Well I guess we can put him down on the list (He picks up a pen)

Spongebob: Wait, Mr Krabs might not have disappeared, he’s probably still in the bathroom you know how old people are… (Everyone nods their heads muttering stuff like ‘Tell me about it’ and ‘Of course‘)

Patrick: You got that right, My grandma practically literally lived in the bathroom

Squidward: It’s no good pretending this isn’t happening Spongebob, people are disappearing and there’s nothing you can do about it, now if you don’t mind (He stands up and starts to leave the hall)

Spongebob: Do you want me to come with you? we should all stay together at this time of night

Squidward: I’d rather die than walk home with you constantly talking (He leaves)

Mayor: Should we just mark him off the list already? (Everyone nods besides Spongebob)

Spongebob: This is getting stupid, There’s no guarantee Squidward’s gone missing or dead…

Patrick: …Well he’s dead (He returns from outside with Squidward’s name tag)

Spongebob: But how? (Everyone starts to mumble as they run outside looking around for Squidward)

Sandy: He’s probably not dead, he probably just sprinted home…. At one hundred miles an hour…In water

Spongebob: This is getting beyond a joke

Patrick: (Confused) This was a joke?

Spongebob: (He stands up heroically as everyone watches him) I, Spongebob Squarepants, solemnly vow to find out why everyone in town is disappearing…

Patrick: (He whispers to Nat) I ate cereal with that guy this morning (He smiles)

Spongebob: Come Patrick, we need to discover what’s going on (They both walk off)

Mayor: So… Anyone wanna be the real detective?

Spongebob: (They both walk into Spongebob’s house holding the sheet of paper with the list of names on) So far three hundred and sixty seven people have disappeared, leaving…(He thinks) …Twenty something people still in Bikini Bottom…

Patrick: How did you work that out?

Spongebob: It’s all up here my good friend (He points to his head then pulls a calculator out of it)

Patrick: (He looks at the paper) Why does everyone only disappear when out in the street?

Spongebob: Ah, Elementary my dear Watson

Patrick: Who?

Spongebob: (He taps Patrick on the shoulder) Don’t worry Patrick

Patrick: Who?

Spongebob: (He stares at him blankly) …Anyway, I think that might be a huge clue that could lead us to discover where everyone is disappearing to (He stands up) So if we just retrace the steps of someone, say Squidward, we should finds some clues (Spongebob walks outside towards the town followed by Patrick)

Patrick: (They both slowly walk through the streets) I’m scared Spongebob (He starts to sweat) I think we should go back

Spongebob: Don’t worry Patrick, we won’t both disappear…(He turns around but Patrick isn’t there) Patrick?! Ha, funny (He starts to shake) You can come out now (He hears a scream so runs out of the city back towards his house) I must be the only one left (His phone rings) Hello? Sandy is that you? Thank goodness your alright, Patrick’s gone I think were the only one’s le…

Sandy: (On the phone) Hel…(The phone disconnects)

Spongebob: Sandy, please speak to me (He throws the phone down and runs outside and from a distance he notices the phone lying on the ground in the treedome and no Sandy in sight) I can’t take this anymore (He runs into town and stands on the part of the sidewalk where Squidward disappeared) Just take me too (He stands around) Hello? (He looks around as the ground slowly starts to pull Spongebob down) What’s happening?! (He tries to break free) On second thoughts, I want to live (He pulls harder but soon he is completely sucked into the ground and finds himself falling at a great speed towards some jagged rocks deep on the sea floor) AH! (He almost hits the rocks but is caught by an electric eel that puts him in a cage with all the other citizens) Thank goodness your all alright (He looks at the eel) Who’s that?

Sandy: We don‘t know (Thousands of strange creatures start to reveal themselves and gather around the cage as the music starts to play…)



Spongebob: (He screams) W-Who are you horrible creatures?

Piranha: We prefer the term, Less handsome individuals…

Nat: That’s what we call this guy (He points at Squidward) You guys are disgusting

Tuna: So you keep saying…

Mr Krabs: What do you want from us, if it’s money forget it…

Fred: Just shut up, it’s bad enough having to stand next to you and now your talking (They push each other and everyone starts to fight as the cage begins to shake)

Blob: SILENCE! (Everyone stops fighting and looks at the blob-like creature on top of a rock) We want one thing and one thing only….Everything

Mayor: What are you talking about?

Tuna: We just want the right to live on the surface with the normal creatures like you

Patrick: Well, I am pretty normal (He blushes)

Sandy: So after you pulled us all down here, scaring us half to death, you want to live on the surface with us?

Blob: What do you say?

Spongebob: (He starts to laugh) Don’t you think it’s ironic how were having a sort of adventure in an underground city?

Squidward: (Confused) No… how?

Spongebob: I don’t know…Carry on

Mayor: We need to settle this…With a battle to the death….or a vote, whichever one suits you, but first you need to let us out of this cage, I’ve got this condition where if I stay in a confined space I start to eat people’s faces (Everyone takes one step away from him)

Time card: One week later…

Mayor: (In Bikini Bottom he‘s talking to his assistant) I still think we should have had a battle to the death… (He walks up onto the stage and speaks into the microphone as all the citizens watch him and the deep sea creatures watch out of the sewers) Greetings one and all, The citizens of Bikini Bottom have voted in thousands on the topic of the horribly disgusting, morbidly bleak...

Tuna: (From the sewer) Ok, we get it…We stink you don’t think we already know that?

Mayor: Ok, I’m getting somewhere with this, They’ve voted in thousands if the deep sea creatures should be given the opportunity to live on the surface with us if they desire, or if they should be sealed into their dank, vomit-soaked hell-hole underground (He peels open an envelope and takes the letter out as everyone waits in anticipation) The deep sea creatures will be...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mayor: …And as I was saying, The deep sea creatures will be able to live on the surface with us, and in return we will be able to visit them underground (Whispering) Not that we would ever want to (The deep sea creatures burst out the sewer and cheer) Our highly trained and paid builder will now start building a tunnel between us, the sewer and their city (Everyone cheers) And thanks to you, we will be raising taxes to pay for the tunnel (Everyone sighs)

Spongebob: Well it’s a small price to pay for meeting all these nice people (He holds his hand out to a strange creature and Spongebob shakes it’s hand)

Strange creature: What are you doing?

Spongebob: I’m shaking your hand

Strange creature: Oh, but that’s not my hand

Spongebob: Oh,… it’s your foot

Strange creature: Nope

Spongebob: (He screws his face up and rubs his hand on his clothes) I’m gonna need some disinfectant


The Doors - "People are Strange"

Season 3 episode 10 (50)- "The Ship of Lost Souls"



Spongebob: (He’s sitting in Jellyfish fields with Patrick when he blows a bubble that is shaped like Patrick) Hey Patrick, look I blew one that looks like…

Patrick: (He looks at it strangely) …A big, fat ugly hippo (He laughs) I see it

Spongebob: Uh…Yeah a hippo… (They both blow one that combines to create a bigger bubble that pops)

Patrick: That was awesome (His watch beeps) Whoa a watch! It’s making a noise which means I probably have to be somewhere (He stands up) Well I better go

Spongebob: Are you sure? Why don’t you just stay for ten more minutes?

Patrick: Sorry buddy but I can’t be late for whatever my watch is beeping for (He starts to leave the fields as Spongebob blows another bubble sitting on his own)

Spongebob: It’s just not the same without Patrick (He stands up but accidentally hitting the bubble soap over and it spills down the hill) I had to work three months to pay for that soap (He chases after it but slides along the spilled soap, losing control and falling to the ground) Ow! (He looks up to see the bottle falling down the open sewer) NO! (He runs towards the sewer) That must be the place there’re going to build that tunnel for those ugly deep sea creatures (He look down the sewer then shouts down it) Hello? Anyone down there? (His voice just echoes when he notices the bubble soap caught on a ledge) There it is! I’m coming down… (He carefully starts to climb down the sewer holding onto the ledge reaching for the bottle) Almost there (He stops when he hears a flush) Oh no, that’s not a good sound (He hears the water flooding through the pipe as he grabs the soap and starts to climb out the sewer) That was close (He reaches the top when the soap spills in his eyes and he looses his balance and falls down the sewer) AH! (The sewer water spills around him and he glides down to the ground) EW EW EW EW EW (He tries to rub some of the sewer water off as he slowly looks up at a huge wreckage of a ship right in front of him) Is that the… The Titaniumtanic? (He walks towards it rubbing some of the rust off of it revealing the words “Tita…” (He continues to rub off the rust from the ship when a skeleton bursts out the metal and Spongebob jumps back in a start) AH! (He clambers up the ladder as fast as he can, reaching the top of the sewer he runs out of Jellyfish fields, into his house and he jumps into bed shaking under the covers) What am I doing? I shouldn’t be here, I need to face my fears…Or get Sandy to do it for me

Time Card: A few minutes later…

Sandy: (In the Treedome she’s talking to Spongebob) Amazing, that’s so fascinating…

Spongebob: Yeah, I really like your invention too, but what about the ship I just told you about?

Sandy: (She turns away from her invention and looks at Spongebob) Oh yeah, that’s interesting too

Spongebob: So what are we going to do?

Sandy: Wait, what ship did you say it was again?

Spongebob: The Titanic

Sandy: You mean the Titaniumtanic?

Spongebob: Yeah, that

Sandy: It’s been lost at deep sea for centuries never found by any scientific mind or intelligent individual, how did you find it?

Spongebob: I guess I was lucky

Sandy: You sure were, let’s go (They both walk towards the door) I better take my… Science equipment (Spongebob gasps)

Mr Krabs: (He’s in the Krusty Krab looking at all the customers) Isn’t it great Squidward?

Squidward: (Flatly) No

Mr Krabs: Look at all those happy faces doesn’t it just feel you with glee?

Squidward: (Flatly) No

Mr Krabs: Can you believe it’s been fifty years since the Krusty Krab…

Squidward: …Started making a whole generation of citizens overweight?

Mr Krabs: No… Well yes, but that’s not my point, it’s been fifty years since the Krusty Krab became a legal place to eat (He looks into the air) I remember it like it happened yesterday, but in fact it was fifty years ago…

(Flashback)

Mayor: I now pronounce this newly founded restaurant, a legal place to it (He cuts the ribbon)

(End of flashback)

Squidward: Was I suppose to see something then?

Mr Krabs: Well I was hoping you would imagine it for yourself

Squidward: Yeah right

Mr Krabs: Whatever (He stands on top of a table) Hello customers, as it’s the 50th anniversary of the Krusty Krab being so on and so forth, everything will now be doubled in price for your enjoyment (He gets off the table) That is all (He walks up to Squidward) I’ve still got it (Squidward rolls his eyes as Mr Krabs walks into his office)

Sandy: (Underground they both walk up to the ship and Sandy feels it‘s old paint) It’s so old and fragile

Spongebob: (He’s leaning on the ship) Tell me about it (He rubs his hands across it peeling some paint off)

Sandy: This could supply a scientific breakthrough, thanks for bringing me here Spongebob

Spongebob: Just doing my job…Not flipping burgers, but you know what I mean

Sandy: I’ll just take a few scrapings for an analyses (She pulls out her science equipment taking a few scrapings off of the ship)

Spongebob: To the sciencey place…

Time Card: The Treedome…

Sandy: (She powers up a machine) There we go

Spongebob: So what does that do?

Sandy: When I place a certain material or objects into the machine it states what it is and where it was found, proving if that ship really was the Titaniumtanic (Spongebob looks confused) I’ll show you (She picks up a ray gun) See this ray gun I invented? (She places it into the machine) Watch…

Machine: (The screen shows an image of the gun then starts to speak) The Death Ray 3000 found in the Bikini Bottom Science Mus… (Sandy stands in front of the machine) Uh, that must be a technical difficulty (She picks up the rusty paint and places it into the machine) Lets hope this works

Machine: (The screen shows an image of the Titaniumtanic then starts to speak) Paint scrapings from the Titaniumtanic, Lost at sea on the 15th of April 1912

Sandy: I can’t believe it, it really was the Titaniumtanic, and you found it we need to go and alert the science community, Oh thank you Spongebob (She hugs Spongebob)

Spongebob: Well (He blushes as the machine sends a huge beam of light into the air that gradually gets larger) Sandy may I ask what’s happening?

Sandy: You may, and my answer is RUN! (They run towards the door but they begin to get sucked into it) I think the scrapings have opened a portal to the Titaniumtanic

Spongebob: That’s highly unlikely

Sandy: Yet it’s happening

Spongebob: What should we do?

Sandy: Pull with all your might (Spongebob slips off but Sandy grabs him)

Spongebob: Thanks Sandy

Sandy: Pull yourself up (Sandy looses her grip and they are both sucked into the portal as it slowly closes)

Spongebob: (He wakes up rubbing his head and looking up he’s sees Sandy looking out at sea) W-Where are we?

Sandy: I was right, we’ve been sent back in time

Spongebob: So were on the Titaniumtanic? B-But how? What are we going to do? How are we going to get back? Why am I so quizitive? (He stands up next to Sandy and looks out at sea)

Sandy: (She has a thought) Wait that means… (She runs up to a fish holding a glass and she taps him on the shoulder) Excuse me sir, but what day is this?

Fish: Today? Why it’s Christmas day (He chuckles to himself)

Sandy: Very funny, but seriously

Fish: It’s the 15th of April

Sandy: 1912?

Fish: Of course (He walks away from her as Sandy looks at her watch)

Spongebob: Are you alright Sandy? (He walks up to her)

Sandy: We have two hours and forty three minutes to live

Spongebob: (Shocked) What?!

Sandy: Forty two now

Mr Krabs: (In the Krusty Krab Mr Krabs is in his office opening bills) Why doesn’t anyone ever sent me any cheques? (He opens a letter and reads it out loud) Dear Eugene Krabs, you health insurance has expired after fifty years, you now must renew your insurance by filling out the form on the overleaf (He quickly jots down the details then stands up) I better get this to the insurance company, I can’t have people dying in me restaurant again and me having to pay because of it (He walks out of his office and looks around) Everyone just stay safe until I return, then you can all go die or injure yourselves (He runs to the town centre posting the letter but reads that the company is shut until 4:00 and can’t give out any insurance until then) Just my luck (He starts to walk back to the Krusty Krab) I just have to make sure no one is injured on Krusty Krab property before four o’ clock, that shouldn’t be to hard (He walks into the Krusty Krab to see the kitchen on fire and the customers sliding around the floor hitting into things and glass smashing as the music starts) …



Sandy: (She looks at her watch while she runs around the deck panicking) Only two hours and thirty six

Spongebob: Say Sandy, how am I not suffocating if the ships above water?

Sandy: All of this around us (She signals to the ship) is basically just a hologram and people can still see and hear you but history doesn’t detect you as real people until we are born, so we don’t really exist here

Spongebob: So does that mean we can’t die?

Sandy: Oh no, far from it in fact we’ve got more chance of dying first before any of these people and besides this is an underwater ship, were not above the ocean

Spongebob: What are we going to do?

Sandy: That’s it, The bridge of the ship that’s a great idea, I’ll just guide the ship away from the icebergs

Spongebob: I don’t know how I gave you the idea, but I like it, what should I do?

Sandy: Nothing that will destroy the future so….Nothing (She runs towards the bridge of the ship)

Spongebob: Got to do absolutely nothing (He slowly turns around and hits into a sponge as they both look at each other) Sorry about that

Steven: No worries (Spongebob turns around to see Sandy on the deck)

Spongebob: Sandy, I thought you were going to stop the ship from hitting those icebergs?

Sally: Who are you and what are you talking about, icebergs?

Steven: (He whispers to Spongebob) That’s Sally, I have a…I love her

Spongebob: Oh… (She walks away) Does she know that?

Steven: Not only does she not know it, but she doesn’t know who I am

Spongebob: You mean you’ve never talked to her?

Steven: Well I walked into her once by accident

Spongebob: Did she say anything to you

Steven: Well she swore at me if that’s what you mean

Spongebob: That’s not really what I meant, why don’t you invite her out for a dinner, that’s what I did for Sandy

Steven: I would but whenever I go near her my legs turn even more weak and spongy

Spongebob: Why don’t I tell you what to say and you just go ahead and say it?

Steven: Uh,…Ok, By the way I didn’t catch your name

Spongebob: (In his thoughts) Fake name, fake name, fake name… (Out loud) My name, uh is Sponge…Bob, damn

Steven: Well nice to meet you Spongebob (He shakes his hand)

Spongebob: Now if you just find me a pen and I’ll write what you have to say

Steven: A what?

Spongebob: Fine then…A pencil

Steven: A what?

Spongebob: Ugh…

Steven: A what?

Sandy: (She reaches the bridge of the ship to see the captain playing cards and not controlling the ship, so she tries to open the door but it’s locked) Come on (She pushes it harder but it still won’t open)

Steven: (In the dining hall Steven walks up to Sally as Spongebob hides behind a plant) Uh…Hello (He taps Sally on the shoulder)

Sally: Yes?

Steven: (He looks at the piece of paper Spongebob handed to him) The thing is Sandy…

Sally: My names Sally

Steven: It doesn’t matter what your name is, the fact is that I laugh you and always will (He looks at the paper strangely) I may not show it all the time but I always have… (He throws the paper on the floor and continues to talk) …You’re the most beautiful and intelligent squirrel I’ve ever seen in my entire life and I want to spend my entire life with you

Sally: What are you saying?

Steven: Do you wanna have dinner with me?

Sally: Sure why not? (They walk to a table holding hands)

Spongebob: (He walks out from behind the plant) My work here is done, and now to find Sandy and save everyone’s lives (He walks out of the dinning hall then runs back in) Right after I’ve had some cheese cake (He runs up to the buffet)

Sandy: (She kicks down the door to the bridge and runs up to the captain who‘s sitting on the floor playing cards) Listen, you need to actually look at the sea out ahead of you…

Captain: You’ve ruined my perfect game, Guards make her walk the plank (The guards grab onto her)

Sandy: What are you? Pirates?

Captain: Pirates?

Sandy: Look it up on Wikipedia…In a hundred years time (The guards pull her out of the bridge and as she is dragged away she shouts to the captain) Steer around the icebergs, you must to save us a… (They slams the door shut)

First mate: What did she say?

Captain: Something about nice burgers, anyway go fish (He puts his cards down as out at sea they are heading directly to the hundreds of icebergs)

Sandy: (She’s standing on the plank as the guards force her off with their knives) If you spare me, I can save your lives

Guards: Just walk squirrelly (They move closer to her as she backs away the guards fall to the ground when Spongebob karate chops them in the back)

Sandy: Spongebob (She smiles as Spongebob unties her and they both run around the deck looking for a place to hide)

Spongebob: Quick in here (They both jump into a life boat and hide as it lifts up) What’s going on (The guards are revealed to be pressing a button lifting the life boat up and moving it over the side of the ship)

Sandy: Oh no (The release the boat and they fall into the freezing cold ocean)

Guards: So long (They walk away laughing as Sandy looks at the ship getting closer to the icebergs)

Sandy: We need to move the icebergs out of the ships path, it’s our only hope (Sandy begins to swim towards the icebergs as Spongebob slowly follows)

Spongebob: You go on, I’ll catch up with you (He gasps for breath as he watches Sandy swim on)

Mr Krabs: (He puts out the fire and prevents the customer from slipping over) There, now please be more careful (He looks at his watch and walks towards his office and as he turns around he sees Squidward spill grease along the floor and everyone starting to slip over in slow motion) N….O…OOO…..OO! (In slow-motion he looks at his watch and it’s 3:59 and he jumps through the air)

Spongebob: (Sandy pushes the iceberg while Spongebob does it in slow-motion)

Sandy: There’s no time for dramatic effect, people are actually going to die

Spongebob: Your right, I don’t know what came over me (They both push the iceberg harder)

Mr Krabs: (In the Krusty Krab he flies through the air but hits the ground along with everyone else) Oh no (He gets up and looks at his watch) Yes! It’s 4:00 look everyone you can’t sue me (Everyone rolls along the floor in agony as Mr Krabs happily jumps up into the air

Sandy: (She stops pushing the iceberg as it’s hardly moving) It’s useless, no two people can push a three tonne iceberg

Spongebob: Nothing is impossible Sandy…But this is damn near close (They both stop pushing the iceberg and hug) Goodbye Sandy

Sandy: Goodbye Spongebob

Patrick: Bye you guys

Spongebob: Patrick?! H-How did you get here?

Patrick: I went through that portal thingy in Sandy’s hou…

Sandy: Reunions later, save lives now (Spongebob and Sandy continue to push the iceberg) Patrick with your help, we could move the icebergs

Patrick: (He looks at the Titaniumtanic heading towards them) Hey look it’s Noah’s Ark

Sandy and Spongebob: Patrick!

Patrick: Sorry (They all push the iceberg as hard as they can and it slowly starts to move)

Sandy: It’s working! (They push it one last time and it slowly drifts away) We did it, we saved everyone’s lives (She hugs them both as they all cheer)

Sally: (On the ship, Sally and Steven walk to the bow) I had a wonderful evening, I felt like I’ve known you all my life

Steven: Me two, which brings me onto my next question…

Sally: Of course I’ll marry you (She smiles and hugs Steven)

Steven: (Shocked) That’s not what I was getting at but, hey ho (He happily lifts her up and over the top of the ship as the music starts) …



Sandy: (In the sea they watch them kiss) Tuh, how cliche (She rolls her eyes)

Spongebob: Tell me about it, great couple though

Patrick: (Confused) Hey, where’s that music coming from?

Sandy: Well at least we saved the day and no one died because of us

Patrick: Say how are we going to get back?

Sandy: Well we just have to…Wait, we just have…I don’t know (They all gasp)

Captain: (In the bridge, he’s still playing go fish) I think I win again (He takes the money, standing up and putting it into his safe he notices the icebergs) Oh dear God, icebergs! (He presses a button to control the ship but nothing happens) I really should have paid attention to how this thing is controlled… (He trips over a card and falls to the wheel that moves the ship away from the icebergs) Well that was lucky (They’re now heading towards Sandy, Spongebob and Patrick) We can’t head towards the icebergs so I guess I’ll just have to pull around them (He uses the wheel to move out the way and sits back down) Now where were we? (He is unaware that they are heading to an even bigger field of icebergs)

Sandy: …I guess we’ll just have to wait ninety something years… (A tear appears in front of them) Oh no, it’s a time rip! (She gasps)

Spongebob: A time rip?

Sandy: Yeah a time rip, don’t you watch any sci-fi movies? By preventing the ship from not sinking the universe will now… (Behind her the ship collides with a different iceberg and starts to tip upwards) Well that’s the end of that (The time rip disappears as they all watch in horror as the Titaniumtanic starts to sink)

Spongebob: What can we do to help them?

Sandy: Nothing

Spongebob: Nothing? We can’t do that

Sandy: We must, for the sake of a few hundred thousand people we save the entire Universe, Hey where’s Patrick (Patrick emerges from under the water)

Patrick: Hey there’s some kind of hole under here

Sandy: Hole? I like the sound of that (They both swim under the water as Spongebob watches at the Titaniumtanic sink as everyone screams)

Spongebob: (He sheds a tear and begins to follow Sandy and Sandy who both swim into the hole and burst out the portal in Sandy’s treedome along with much water)

Spongebob: (He helps Sandy up) Sandy, after almost dying and watching that Sponge and Squirrel propose I feel I need to ask you something… (He gets down on his knees) … I’ve known you for almost…. Years now, I feel it’s time to ask you something that may shock and surprise you (He pulls out a small box) Sandy Cheeks, will you do me the honour of being my girlfriend?

Sandy: Spongebob? O-Of course I will (She hugs Spongebob as he puts the “Girlfriend Ring” onto Sandy’s finger)

Patrick: Hey wait Spongebob, I thought I was your girlfriend (He holds up his “Best Friend Ring”)

Spongebob: No buddy, you’re my best friend

Patrick: I still get to keep the ring right? (Spongebob nods) Sweet!

Sandy: Group hug (They all hug each other as Spongebob and Sandy look into each others eyes and smile)


Kenny Loggins - "Danger Zone"
Celine Dion - "My Heart Will Go On"

Wow, you definitely seem to be putting a lot of effort into this. I'll have to check the rest of these out soon.

REALLY good and enjoyable! I lol'd hard at some parts. However, I did see something that blatantly ripped off The Simpsons.

Season 3 episode 11 (51)- "Once, Twice, Three Times a Story"


August 19th 2011 - 8:00am


Spongebob: (His alarm sounds as he wakes up he looks at it) Good morning world and so on… (He gets out of bed and looks out of the window) What a nice morning…

Time Card: Spongebob’s Day…

Spongebob: …It’s so nice, I feel like singing a copyrighted song about how nice it actually is (He reaches over to his record player, presses a button, and as the music starts he begins to sing) …



Spongebob: Well that was pretty tiring, I better get to bed… (He lays down on his bed) …Wait a minute (He quickly gets back up and walks to his calendar to see that he’s got a dental appointment) Oh yes, I’ve got to go the dentist today, that’ll be funiful (He remembers something) Wait another minute…

(Flashback)

Dentist: Well Spongebob, it seems you’ll need a tiny little filling, it’s hardly anything really…

(End of flashback)

Spongebob: A filling? (He kneels on the ground) NO!…Well I better go tell Mr Krabs (He runs down the stairs getting dressed and eating breakfast while he walks outside past his boat-mobile) See you later, Boaty (He happy strolls through the street walking past a garbage man)

Garbage man: Stupid disappearing garbage truck, that’s the ninth time it’s gone this week

Spongebob: I think I’ll go and see my… (He smiles and giggles) …Girlfriend (He walks towards the Treedome to find Sandy isn’t there) She’s usually here at this time (He looks at his watch as he begins to walk towards the Krusty Krab) I’m sure I can catch up with my… (He smiles and giggles again) …Girlfriend after my filing, that is if I survive (He starts to shake as he walks into an empty Krusty Krab) Mr Krabs? (He walks into his office but Mr Krabs isn’t there) I need to go to the dentist is that Ok with you? (He waits for an answer) Hello? Where is he?

Mr Krabs: (From somewhere) Yeah just go already, Idiot boy (Spongebob looks around confused then leaves)

Spongebob: To the dentist, away (He walks out the Krusty Krab as Mr Krabs walks out of the bathroom drying his claws)

Mr Krabs: That’s what I’m talking about (He lets out a huge sigh or relief as he walks into his office)

Spongebob: (Outside the Krusty Krab he notices his boat being towed away by garbage truck when the trucker throws out a half eaten sandwich) Hey, that’s my booty, I mean boaty (He sprints after the truck as it loses control and flies off of a cliff) MY BOAT! Oh and the driver! (He watches as it plummets to the ground) How am I supposed to get to the dentist in less than ten minutes without a boat, or super sonic speed (He turns around to see a boat rental store) How long has that been there? (He runs up to the store as the manager watches him from his office while Spongebob looks at the boats outside)

Manager: Look at that kid out there (He points to Spongebob) We can screw so much money out of that sucker bringing this business back to the top, no more licking the cheese out of old pizza boxes…

Assistant: The suckers driving away

Manager: What! (He watches as Spongebob drives away with a boat) That guy didn’t pay for his rental…You know what to do Jim

Assistant: Jim’s off sick, I’m Percy and I don’t know what to do...

Manager: (He rubs his face) Just call the cops

Spongebob: (He drives around with the boat) Wait, I forgot to pay for the rental (He’s about to turn around when he looks at this watch) Only four minutes to get there (He speeds up) How about some music to settle my fragile nerves (He turns the radio on as the music starts to play) …



Spongebob: ...That’s pretty catchy (He nods his head to the music while behind him he doesn’t realise that the police are chasing him with sirens blaring)

Police Officer: He can’t hear us over that awesome music

Police Officer #2: We’ll just have to hit into the back of him hoping he’ll hear us then...

Police Officer: We won’t know unless we try it out (Spongebob drives past the Krusty Krab as the police boat drives around it, the Krusty Krab explodes causing wood and glass to fly everywhere) We’ve got a 10:16 at the old Krusty Krab place

Police Officer #2: A what?

Police Officer: A boom-boom (They continue to chase after Spongebob) He still can’t hear us, we need to blow out his radio

Police Officer #2: I’m already on it (He’s hanging out the boat door aiming his gun at Spongebob’s radio)

Police Officer: Be careful

Police Officer #2: Be what? (He puts his head into the boat as the bullet shoots through Spongebob’s back window and the bullet hits the radio) …



Spongebob: My radio?! (He hears the police boat behind him) What’s going on? (He turns around to look at the police but looses control of the boat and is about to smash into the side of the dentist) AH! Well at least I’m on time (He jumps into the back seat of the boat ready for impact)

Dentist: (He takes a mechanical object out of a young girls mouth) I told you Nancy, that none of my equipment could harm you (Spongebob’s boat smashes into the dentist room and Nancy screams) Just so you know that wasn’t part of my equipment… (The screen fades to black)

Spongebob: (The dentist is looking at his teeth as Spongebob is revealed to be in hospital in a full body cast)

Dentist: Well the good news is I don’t need to give you that filling after all

Spongebob: YayAh! (He raises his arm but hears a snap) That can’t be good


August 19th 2011 - 7:36am


Patrick: (He’s in bed awake listening to the construction noise outside) I can’t believe they’ve been at it all night (He looks at his bed side clock) SHUUUUUT UUUUUP!

Time Card: Patrick‘s Day…

Patrick: (He continues to hear the construction noise as it suddenly stops) At la.. (It starts again) AGH! (He covers his head with his pillow) This is useless… Well I may as well get up now (He gets out of bed and puts on his slippers as he walks into his cupboard he walks out fully clothed) That’s never done that before (He sits down and turns on the TV as the construction noise stops) Finally a minute of peace before I go and have a long day of doing nothing (He relaxes as he hears Spongebob start to sing) …



Patrick: (He runs outside covering his ears as he hits into a garbage truck parked in front of his house) I can’t have that parked there all day (He clambers inside and starts to drive it away from his house) This is kinda a lot of fun (He looks around then drives away with it)

Garbage man: (He walks towards Patrick’s house) Hey where the hells my truck?

Patrick: (He puts on a truckers cap and drives past Sandy who’s waiting outside her house) Hey Sandy, wanna ride?

Sandy: Y’know that’s a garbage truck, right?

Patrick: I know, isn’t it cool?

Sandy: Doesn’t it belong to someone else…Like say, the garbage men?

Patrick: How do you know I’m not a garbage man?

Sandy: Because your not

Patrick: Good point

Sandy: But I do need to get to the science convention quickly…So sure why not, it’s not like your dangerously unstable (She looks at Patrick) Well… (She puts on her seat belt) Lets hit the road

Patrick: Just call me…Patrick Star

Sandy: Um…Ok, why not ‘Truck Stop Pat’?

Patrick: Why would I be called that? (He begins to drive as Spongebob walks up to the Treedome to find Sandy isn’t there)

Spongebob: (Confused) She’s usually here at this time

Patrick: Where too now Sandy?

Sandy: You just turn left

Patrick: Left? (He holds up his hands taking them off the wheel) So I right with my left right hand that’s left…

Sandy: Patrick, the road! (Patrick takes control of the wheel narrowly missing Plankton who’s pushing a machine in the road)

Plankton: Idiot!

Patrick: (To Sandy) I think he’s talking to you… (Patrick continues to drive as he finally reaches the science convention and Sandy gets out)

Sandy: Patrick, promise me you’ll take the truck back to the garbage men

Patrick: (He looks down) Eh…

Sandy: Promise me

Patrick: Ok

Sandy: Good boy (She runs into the science convention as Patrick drives back home but can’t see the garbage men)

Patrick: Well too bad there not here...It’s a real shame (He reverses backwards getting Spongebob’s boat hooked onto the garbage truck as he drives away) I think I’m going to call you Garbagey (He taps the truck as a compartment opens and a sandwich falls out) A sandwich? Is there anything this truck doesn’t have? (He takes a bite out of the sandwich) Ew…Healthy (He throws the sandwich out of the window as it lands next to Spongebob’s feet)

Spongebob: Hey, that’s my booty, I mean Boaty (He sprints after the truck as Patrick rubs his tongue in disgust)

Patrick: I wonder if there’s any mints in here to get that horrible taste of health out of my mouth (He looks in the compartment not looking at the road he loses control of the truck and drives off of a cliff) AH!

Spongebob: MY BOAT! Oh and the driver! (The truck plummets to the bottom of the cliff and Patrick is knocked out by a piece of metal from the truck)

Time Card: One hour later…

Patrick: (He starts to gain consciousness and clambers out the destroyed vehicle) I’m hurting in places I didn’t even know I had, like this place (He points to his arm as he looks around at the destroyed garbage truck) My beautiful garbage truck, what have I done to you? (He hears an explosion from a distance as a huge red ‘K’ lands next to him) Hey a Krusty Krab K (He looks around in the darkness of the abyss) I’m sure someone will come and get me out of here in a minute, it’s just a waiting game... (He sits down in silence) Eh...The waiting game sucks (He looks at the red ‘K’) I think I have an idea…No I don’t or do I? (He looks up to see a helicopter hovering as he wraps some lose string around the ‘K’) Here goes nothing, hopefully something (He throws the ‘K’ into the air getting it lodged into the bottom of the helicopter) Here I go (He wraps the string around his waist)

Pilot: (On a walkie-talkie) That’s right, There’s damages to the propeller so I’m going to head back to base, over (He starts to fly away as Patrick is gradually lifted up)

Patrick: It’s working, I can’t believe it (He hits into the side of the cliff) Ooh (He scrapes along the cliff as he is lifted up) I should have seen this coming (Patrick keeps getting injured as the screen fades to black and he wakes up on the floor of a hospital) W-What happened?

Nurse: You fell off your bed again, are you sure you wouldn’t rather sleep down there?

Patrick: I’m fine (He climbs back on his bed to see Spongebob lying on a bed next to him as the Dentist looks at his teeth while he‘s in a full body cast)

Dentist: Well the good news is I don’t need to give you that filling after all

Spongebob: YayAh! (He raises his arm but hears a snap) That can’t be good

Patrick: Hey buddy, what you in for?


August 19th 2011 - 1:47am


Plankton: (In the Chum Bucket he’s hammering a machine as he looks at his watch) Almost done, They’re might as well be a time card here, I don’t do much for the next few hours…


August 19th 2011 - 7:35am


Plankton: (He finishes welding the machine as he takes off his mask) Now for your time to shine Mr. Hammer (He starts to hit the machine with a hammer)

Patrick: (From a distance) SHUUUUUT UUUUUP!

Plankton: That stupid idiot is so rude…

Time Card: Plankton’s Day…

Plankton: One more hit should do it (He hits the machine with a hammer for the last time as he examines the machine he hears Spongebob start to sing from a distance) …



Plankton: He calls that singing? Well it is…But this is real singing (He clears his throat and starts to sing) PoKeRRR FAICE, P-P-Oh-CK… (His windows smash) …Well, they were already breaking (He starts to push his machine out of the Chum Bucket but finds it very heavy) Why is this so heavy? It’s mainly made of duct tape and paper (He pushes it harder but it hardly moves) This is going to take forever (Patrick driving the garbage truck narrowly misses him) Idiot! (He puts the machine on its side and it starts to roll into the Krusty Krab as he looks around and no one is inside) Not even Krabs is here (He walks into the empty office and rolls the machine up to the safe) Once again we meet at last, Ultra Safe Safe (He aims the machine at the safe as he hears Spongebob)

Spongebob: Mr Krabs?

Plankton: Not that guy (He pulls the machine under the desk as Spongebob walks in)

Spongebob: I need to go to the dentist is that Ok with you? (Plankton watches him from under the desk) Hello? Where is he? (Plankton clears his throat and does an impression of Mr Krabs)

Plankton’s Mr Krabs impression: Yeah just go already, Idiot boy (Spongebob looks around confused then leaves) At last (He clears his throat)

Plankton: That’s better (He lifts the machine up again and aims it at the safe) Now for what I came here for

Spongebob: To the dentist, away (He walks out the Krusty Krab as Mr Krabs walks out of the bathroom drying his claws)

Mr Krabs: That’s what I’m talking about (He lets out a huge sigh or relief as he walks into his office to spot Plankton and his machine) Jeez Plankton, don’t you ever give up?

Plankton: Apparently not (He is about to press a button when Mr Krabs pulls him away from the machine)

Mr Krabs: I don’t think so

Plankton: Well I do (He jumps to the machine hitting the button but Mr Krabs hits the machine away and the laser shoots around the office as they both dodge out of the way of it as it burns everything it touches)

Mr Krabs: (He watches the laser burn through his office) My precious, expensive items (He runs out from behind the desk but Plankton stops him)

Plankton: Don’t be an idiot, you’ll be kille…Wait a minute, On second thoughts, go ahead (Mr Krabs runs up to the machine and aims it into the air burning a hole in the roof and hitting a helicopter‘s engine blowing it out)

Pilot: Oh great (He quickly hovers away over the cliff)

Plankton: Well I did come all the way over here so what the Hell (He wrestles the machine off of Mr Krabs and it aims at the safe burning through it)

Mr Krabs: NO!

Plankton: YES! (It burns through the safe as out from the safe appears another laser)

Safe: Intruder alert! Alert Intruder! (The two lasers collide and cause an explosion as the police boat drives past)

Police Officer: We’ve got a 10:16 at the old Krusty Krab place.... (The wood and glass fly everywhere and so does the lettering from the Krusty Krab sign)

Old Man Jenkins: (He’s playing scrabble with Mabel) I can’t win anything with these letters (The huge Krusty Krab ‘R’ lands on the board) I win (The ‘K’ flies through the ocean falling down the cliff and landing next to Patrick)

Patrick: Hey a Krusty Krab K

Plankton: (He wakes up and rubs his head then notices his legs have gone) MY LEGS! Krabs, did you steal my legs?

Mr Krabs: Now why would I want to do that? (He notices his Claw has been blown off) I bet you stole my claw, you little shrimp (The screen fades to black as they both argue)

Spongebob: (The dentist is looking at his teeth as Spongebob is revealed to be in hospital in a full body cast)

Dentist: Well the good news is I don’t need to give you that filling after all

Spongebob: YayAh! (He raises his arm but hears a snap) That can’t be good

Patrick: Hey buddy, what you in for?

Plankton: Do you two ever shut up? (He’s revealed to be lying on a hospital bed next to them)

Spongebob: Plankton? (He looks closer) Mr Krabs is that you? (Mr Krabs is lying on the same hospital bed next to Plankton)

Mr Krabs: Doc, Are you sure there isn’t another spare hospital bed?

Doctor: I’m sure there isn‘t, Now sweet dreams (He turns the lights off)

Mr Krabs: It’s not that bad when you get used…

Plankton: …Please be quiet (They all groan)


The Beatles - "Good Morning Good Morning"
Phil Collins - "In the Air Tonight"

Season 3 episode 12 (52)- "Summer Daze"


Spongebob and Patrick: (They’re running to Jellyfish fields, chanting) …Jellyfish, Jellyfish, Jellyfish, Jellyfish, Jellyfish… (They run into the Jellyfish Fields)

Spongebob: Come on buddy, lets go

Patrick: Why are we here again?

Spongebob: Remember, Jellyfish, Jellyfish…?

Patrick: Vaguely (He turns around and is stung by a Jellyfish that hovers into the hive) Hey, he bit me (He rubs the sting)

Spongebob: I managed to clock him on this (He holds up a handheld machine)

Patrick: (Confused) Hey, what’s that?

Spongebob: It’s an Anger-Ray Sandy made for me, it levels the amount of anger someone is feeling at a certain time…

Patrick: Can I use it?

Spongebob: Sure, just don’t get it too close to Squidward…It usually bursts into flames when I use it near him (Patrick takes the Anger-Ray and reads the small, digital screen)

Patrick: Why’s it beeping?

Spongebob: (He looks at the Anger-Ray) That jellyfish that stung you was particularly angry…

Patrick: What if he hurts the other jellyfish in the hive because he’s so angry?

Spongebob: You’re right, we need to stop him…

Patrick: I didn’t say that, but Ok… (They walk up to the Jellyfish hive as it falls to the ground smashing as two jellyfish are revealed to be fighting) We better stand back (They watch as the jellyfish continue to fight)

Patrick: All this fighting reminds me of my time at grade school (He looks into the air) Ah memories….Horrible, vile, disturbing memories (They watch as the jellyfish continue fighting as they move towards a tree as they become dazed and stop fighting) What’s going on?

Spongebob: (He walks up to the tree and looks around it finding some green moss) This moss must have stopped them fighting (Patrick walks up to the tree)

Patrick: But how?

Spongebob: But how, exactly… (He peels some of the moss off of the tree and puts it into his scrapbook)

Patrick: All this sitting around doing nothing has made me hungry

Spongebob: I think we deserve a lunch break

Patrick: Ooh, I love those seven words (He pulls out a knife and a fork)

Time Card: Lunch break…

Spongebob: (He and Patrick both walk into the Krusty Krab as Mr Krabs runs up to them both) Hey Mr Krabs

Mr Krabs: Spongebob! Why are you not at your post?

Spongebob: It’s my day off, remember?

Mr Krabs: It may be your day off but that doesn’t explain why your not working, Now get back to work! (Spongebob walks into the kitchen as Patrick goes to order)

Patrick: Yeah Squidward, I’ll have a, uh,… One Krabby Patty, one simple Krabby Patty…And fries, a shake, a deluxe Krabby meal hold the health, a Krabby Kiddie meal and…

Squidward: …Just go away Patrick, I can’t, and won’t, deal with you today

Patrick: What do you mean?

Squidward: (Annoyed) Just get lost

Mr Krabs: Don’t listen to him Patrick, he’s been like this all day

Squidward: I HAVE NOT, SO SHUT THE HELL UP ALL OF YOU! (He storms out of the Krusty Krab) I’m leaving!

Mr Krabs: (Spongebob gasps) Don’t worry lad, his shift ended three hours ago, I just didn’t tell him (He laughs)

Spongebob: If Squidward’s gone, Could Patrick help me out in the kitchen? You won’t have to pay him

Mr Krabs: Sure, why not? I need to cut some money out of the restaurants budget anyway (He walks into his office and starts crossing things off of a list) I don’t see why we need clean running water or comfortable chairs (He crosses them off the list as he smiles to himself)

Patrick: (He walks into the kitchen with Spongebob) So what time should I come over to the party tonight?

Spongebob: Well it’s a late night party so…

Time Card: 7:00pm

Squidward: (He’s watching from his house as Patrick walks to Spongebob’s house and knocks on the door with his foot) Moron

Spongebob: (He answers the door to Patrick) Come on in buddy, the party’s in full swing (Patrick walks in to the empty house) It wouldn’t be a partay without musiac (He turns the music up as Squidward covers his ear holes)

Squidward: That music has been playing for far too long

Sadie: They’ve only just started playing it

Squidward: Exactly, too long (He storms outside)

Sadie: I really hope I don’t grow up with his anger issues

Squidward: (He slams on Spongebob’s door) Open up barnacle heads (Spongebob answers the door)

Spongebob: Hey Squidward, here to join the partay?

Squidward: I most certainly am not, I’m here to ask you nicely to turn the damn music down

Patrick: Hey Spongebob, I think I have an idea

Spongebob: An idea?…

Patrick: (He thinks) Yes, no, no, yes, no, no, no, yes an idea

Squidward: Don’t think to hard Patrick, you might end up using a brain cell (He laughs to himself)

Spongebob: What’s you idea, buddy?

Patrick: Why don’t we use that mossy stuff you found in Jellyfish fields on Squidward to calm him down?

Spongebob: You mean this stuff? (He pulls the moss out of the scrapbook and holds it up to Patrick)

Patrick: Yeah that stuff (He walks up to Squidward) Try this stuff (He holds the moss to Squidward’s face)

Squidward: Get that thing out of my face! (He pushes it away then slams the door shut, walking back to his house)

Spongebob and Patrick: (They both look at each other) He needs it

Time Card: Late at night…

Squidward: (In bed he looks at his alarm clock then walks into the bathroom, pouring himself a glass of water he looks out of the window at Spongebob’s house) Stupid house, stupid neighbours… (The music starts coming from the house as he drops the glass onto the floor) …Stupid life (He marches outside banging on Spongebob’s door again) I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times to turn the music off (Patrick answers the door) Patrick turn… (He sprays him in the face with some liquid from a bottle) …What are you doing? What is this stuff?

Patrick: The soothing ground-down moss (Squidward wipes it off his face)

Squidward: Patrick you….(He starts to smile) …You nice boy (He pats Patrick on the head) I’m going to bed, you two boys stay happy and noisy won’t you (He walks back into his house as Patrick and Spongebob smile at each other)

Time Card: At work…

Mr Krabs: (In the Krusty Krab, he watches Squidward happily serving a customer) Why’s scroogey Mc. scroogester so happy today?

Spongebob: (He holds up the spray bottle) This stuff helped turn him happy

Mr Krabs: Money, you say…?

Spongebob: No, I said happy

Mr Krabs: I know what I heard (He leans closer to Spongebob) So lad,… You wouldn’t consider lending me some of that stuff so I can get through Pearls tantrums

Spongebob: Sure, but be careful Mr Krabs, I don’t know if you should use too much of it as it may be dangerous…

Mr Krabs: …And cost effective (He laughs evilly)

Spongebob: Yes and cost effective…Well I hope it works for Pearl (He happily walks out the Krusty Krab with Squidward)

Squidward: (He stumbles up to Spongebob putting his arm around him) B-BUDDY, Good help you thanks

Spongebob: That’s quite alright Squidward

Squidward: Help lots you did (He stumbles into his house as Spongebob walks into his)

Time Card: Yes, another time card…

Patrick: (Someone’s knocking on his door as he walks towards it rubbing his face) I’m coming, I’m coming (He opens his door to see Sadie is standing there) Hello teenage girl Squidward

Sadie: I told you Patrick, My name’s Sadie

Patrick: What is it?

Sadie: Sadie…

Patrick: No, why are you here?

Sadie: Well the thing is…I think my dad’s dead

Patrick: Sadie’s dead? (She stares at him blankly as they both run into the house looking at Squidward laying motionless on his bed)



Spongebob: (He takes a step back from Squidward lying on the bed as Patrick looks at him)

Patrick: He looks so natural (He covers his face with the pillow)

Spongebob: Patrick I don’t think he’s dead, he’s just in a deep, deep sleep (He feels Squidward’s heart) Did he seem weird when he came back from work yesterday?

Sadie: Yeah he was happy, I thought he took too much of his medication

Patrick: Spongebob, you don’t think it could be the...y’know (He symbolises the spray bottle)

Spongebob: I think you could be right Patrick (He has a thought) Wait a minute, if it was the spray then PEARL! (He runs out the bedroom)

Sadie: (She slaps Squidward round the face) Wake up dad (Spongebob runs out the house and towards Mr Krabs’ and as he reaches the door and knocks as Pearl answers)

Pearl: Spongebob? What do you want?

Spongebob: Pearl are you alright? You don’t feel sleepy or dead do you?

Pearl: What are you talking about?

Spongebob: The spray…In your face (She stares at him blankly) The spray in the bottle made from moss (She continues to stare at him blankly) ...Where’s your dad?

Pearl: I think he’s at the Krusty Krab (Spongebob runs towards the Krusty Krab) Tuh, boys (She rolls her eyes as she puts her cellphone up to her head) Yeah... Hey Brad, wanna come over?

Spongebob: (He approaches the Krusty Krab to see a huge crowd gathering outside) What’s going on? (He crawls through the crowd to see Mr Krabs handing out bottles of the spray) Mr Krabs! What are you doing?

Mr Krabs: These hotcakes are selling like hotcakes and this calming spray’s selling well too (Nat takes a hotcake and a bottle of the spray) Thirty dollars please

Nat: If I wasn’t so mellow from buying this spray, I’d be angry that you’re charging that much (He hands him the money and walks away)

Spongebob: I thought you were only going to use it on Pearl

Mr Krabs: Pearl?! You must have misheard me, I said people…Thousands and thousands of people (He continues to hand out the bottles taking all the money)

Spongebob: You’ve got to stop selling this stuff, It’s really dangerous...

Mr Krabs: So are coffee machines, but that doesn’t stop me taking money from them

Spongebob: I’m sorry Mr Krabs, but if you not going to listen to me (He tips over the stand and the liquid pours down the sewer as the crowd get angry)

Mr Krabs: Not to worry, I’ve made more...

Spongebob: (Surprised) How did you even know the ingredient was ground down moss from Jellyfish Fields?

Nancy: Ground down moss? (They all look at eachother)

Spongebob: That’s right, moss that’s been peed on by jellyfish for centuries and you’ve just sprayed all over you bodies (They all run towards Jellyfish Fields) No, you weren’t mean to... (He sighs then looks up at Mr Krabs) What do you mean you’ve made more?

Fred: Over here (They all run over the hill to see that Jellyfish Fields has been stripped of the moss)

Nat: Where’s it all gone?

Mr Krabs: ...See, I’ve got much more (He shows Spongebob the newly designed kitchen with a machine that grinds down the moss to turn it into liquid)

Spongebob: That is not good... (He hears a angry citizens outside trying to get inside the Krusty Krab) ...And neither is that

Nat: Let us in

Fred: Give us some of the sweet stuff

Spongebob: Mr Krabs, what have you done?

Mr Krabs: Made angry people, happy (The angered citizens start shaking the Krusty Krab as pieces of wood fall from the roof hitting the machine)

Mabel: We need that liquid (They continue to try and get inside)

Mr Krabs: You’re right, we need to stop them

Spongebob: I’ll do it, just don’t let them inside (He sneaks out the back and walks up to the angry mob) Stop friends, everyone just needs to calm down...

Jerry: We would if we had the freaking calming liquid (They continue to shake the Krusty Krab as a piece of wood falls from the ceiling and lands in the machine causing it to malfunction and start to leak)

Patrick: (Back at Squidward’s house, Patrick is hitting Squidward round the face) Why. Won’t. You. Wake. Up

Sadie: You may as well go Patrick, it’s useless I’m sure he’ll wake up soon enough

Patrick: Well the TV’s not going to watch itself, so I’ll see you around (He leaves)

Sadie: Yeah, see ya (She looks at Squidward on the bed) Well there’s no point me hanging around waiting for Christmas (She pulls out her cell phone) Yeah, hey Pearl what do you say to an ‘educational’ field trip to the mall (She leaves Squidward who’s still fast asleep)

Spongebob: (The machine is overflowing as everyone is still shaking the Krusty Krab) Please people (The wood starts to burn as it falls onto the liquid and starts to evaporate it)

Nat: It’s working we're almost inside (They burst down the door as the evaporated liquid bursts out and starts to spread through the town)

Sandy: Oh, what a beautiful morning oh what a beautiful day... (The gas enters her helmet and she falls to the floor) …Oh what a tiring day... (She falls to the ground, asleep)

Sadie: (Still on here cellphone) ...I’ll be there... (She breaths in the gas) ...Sleepy (She falls to ground along with everyone else around town)

Squidward: (In his bed he slowly starts to wake up) ...Best sleep I’ve ever had (He stretches and gets out of bed and looks out his window) What a nice day, sunny sky, clams chirping, thousands of dead bodies lying on the ground... (He walks away then runs back to the window) DEAD BODIES? (He sprints down the stairs running outside) W-What happened? I can’t believe everyone's dead....They’ll be no line at the museum (He walks through the bodies as he walks through the gas as he covers his mouth) I need to find cover (He takes Sandy’s helmet off of her and puts it onto his head) That’s better (He continues to walk though the gas as he hears Patrick snoring) Wait a minute, there not dead (He looks around) None of them are (He looks over at Spongebob on the ground) Well you can’t always get what you want (He starts to shake Mr Krabs’ sleeping body) Wake up you old fool (He has an idea) Maybe there might be a reverse medication in Jellyfish Fields to wake everyone up (He walks through the gas towards Jellyfish Fields) I can’t see anything with all this damn fog (He reaches Jellyfish Fields and looks around the desolate wasteland) Where is everything? (He runs up to the trees looking for the moss) Come on Squiddy (He looks around to see a huge swarm of angry Jellyfish) No, no, NO! (They start to surround him)

Spongebob: (Back in Bikini Bottom everyone is still sleeping as the gas is still bellowing out of the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: (The thousands of Jellyfish approach Bikini Bottom with Squidward standing on top of them) Go my babies, sting everyone (The Jellyfish separate and hover over the sleeping bodies) Three, T.. (A jellyfish stings Patrick) I said two (He glares at the jellyfish) ONE! (All the Jellyfish sting the citizens as they scream and jump up in shock)

Sadie: Ah, What was that? (Everyone stands up and rub their injuries)

Nat: Why’d ya do that?

Squidward: It was the only way you’d all wake up... I saved your lives, you should all be thanking me

Sadie: Yeah, thanks dad (Everyone glares at Squidward as they rub their injuries)

Spongebob: (He walks up to Squidward) Thanks buddy, I appreciate it

Squidward: Spongebob could you do me a favor?

Spongebob: Sure buddy, what is it?

Squidward: ...You don’t happen to have any of that mellowing spray left? (Spongebob looks at him strangely) What? I have a teen aged daughter y’know