Total Cartoon Island/Action

It's time for a brand new season with brand new rules and some brand new contestants! So sit down, relax, cook up some popcorn, and watch the epic coolness that is Total Cartoon Action! / "Reptar's Revenge!"

Sniz appears in a control room and says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Island, I revealed to the 24 contestants from season 1, that 12 of them would win slots to appear in season 2, along with 12 new contestants. After the introductions, the season 1 veterans battled it out in 10 different games for the privilege of riding to our new filming location in Hollywood, Florida to our state of the art film sets. In the end, while Stinky and Stimpy both qualified to play in the season individually, Stinky decided to stick with Stimpy so that the two of them could perform as one contestant. So it turned out that the returning contestants were Ren Hoek, Patrick Star, Treeflower Fields, Susie Carmichael, Reggie Rocket, Norbert McHandsome, Rocko A. Wallaby, Spongebob Esquire, Lil Deville, Otto Rocket, Sandy Cheeks, as well as Stinky and Stimpy J. Cat. They will be competing against fan-character Blue Arrow, as well as 11 other established cartoon contestants. Judy Funny, Gerald Fitzgerald, Rhonda Lloyd Wellington III, Haggis McHaggis, Rancid Rabbit, Dog, Marlene the Otter, Skipper the Penguin, Pearl Krabs, Larry the Lobster, and Craig Mammalton. Which one of these 24 contestants will make it to the end our 2nd season as the winner? Find out by watching the epically cool Total Cartoon Action!" /

Theme song is played to the tune of all the cartoon characters theme songs. Sniz is shown driving a limousine, Otto is seen running up a prop hill while dodging various moving set scenes, and Ren is at the top of the prop hill and jumps into a tub of water. Stimpy is shown swimming in the water, and Rancid Rabbit tries to tackle him until Stinky comes out of Stimpy's ear, making Rancid lose his concentration. The camera pans up to show Reggie Rocket and Rocko trying to keep their balance on a moving surfboard until they get knocked out by Skipper who is shot at them. Norbert laughs at the situation, until Treeflower gives him a romantic kiss. The camera pans behind them to show Dog chasing after a plate of haggis being carried by Haggis McHaggis. The camera then comes to a beach scene where Rhonda, Pearl, and Gerald are busy enjoying the sun. The camera pans to the right to show Craig Mammalton making Larry the Lobster look pretty until Craig accidentally sprays cologne into Larry's eyes. The camera pans further to the right to show Susie Carmichael and Angelica Pickles fighting each other with balloon batons until Susie knocks Angelica's yellow wig off her head. The wig falls into a pot that is being heated up by General Barracuda. General Barracuda gives the pot to Patrick who throws some special spice on it, making the dish taste good. The camera pans out to show Marlene looking at the scene, she switches the camera to show a different scene outside a convention center, but Marlene accidentally pushes a button that causes something to explode. Barry the Bear is standing at the center of the explosion looking confused, while Lil Deville runs past him waving hi. Barry growls at Lil but she growls right back, and she actually chases Barry past a spaceship. Sandy Cheeks and Spongebob Squarepants are riding inside this space ship. The camera then pans forward to show a bunch of cameras flashing as they are taking pictures. Sniz opens up an envelope, only to be interrupted and disturbed by his brother Fondue who is dressed like Vanna White. The camera pans out to reveal that they're on a TV screen and the camera pans down to Blue Arrow and Judy Funny who are about to kiss each other until they notice that the stage audience is watching them. The camera then pans out to show the Season 1 Vets on the left side of the screen, the Season 2 contestants on the right side of the screen, and the TV above Blue Arrow and Judy Funny changes to read Total Cartoon Action created and developed by Jason Cantu. /

The Luxury Limousine pulls up to the gates of the Nickelodeon Studios in Hollywood, Florida, and the 24 contestants get out, looking at where they're going to play. Gerald says: "This is SWEET! I could get used to playing here!" Haggis says: "Not exactly a place I would've picked. Still, it's clean and free of swamp alligators. I think this will be an ideal playing field for me." Dog says: "Anywhere is BETTER than having to be attached to my WORTHLESS, EX, Lesser angry half known as CAT!" Rancid says: "You said it!" Marlene says: "Skipper, do you think we'll see our crocodile friend here?" Skipper says: "It's possible. He was hatched and raised here." Craig Mammalton says: "At least I don't have to worry about my tan here." Blue Arrow says: "Is that ALL you think about?" Craig says: "Of course not. And you don't have to be so mean in your sarcasm." Judy dramatically says: "Meanness, niceness, it's all relative in this crazy acting world of ours. To display the right emotion at the right time is crucial in mastering the art of being a master thespian. So says William Shakespeare, famous for his plays, like A Midsummer Night's Dream." Blue Arrow says: "I like YOU already!" Patrick says: "I want to see what they have in the way of exercise!" Reggie says: "And find great surfing spots! I want to catch some curls!"

Otto says: "Not before I do!" Rocko says: "It's not a competition, not yet at any rate!" Norbert says: "Treeflower, as long as we're here, we might as well look for potential places to take a honeymoon once we get married!" Treeflower says: "You read my mind, you sweet, adorable muffin pie!" Stinky says: "One thing's for sure, traveling sure broadens your horizons." Spongebob says: "But right now, I want to broaden my knowledge. Like knowing what kinds of things we can expect to see in this season." Sandy says: "It can't be too hard. What can they throw at us this season that they didn't throw at us last season?" Sniz finally steps out of the limo and says: "I'm glad you asked, because it's time to get on the Double Decker Bus of Cool Rules!" And when Sniz snaps his fingers, Cosmo and Wanda change the limo into a Double Decker bus, and the contestants board it. Sniz drives through the gates and says: "Welcome to the sound stages and filming sets of Total Cartoon Action!" Marlene says: "This is totally awesome!" Sniz calmly says: "Yes it is. Now here's how the rules are going to work for this season. As always, you'll be playing against each other in challenges for prizes and invincibility. You'll be divided into two teams. One team will be the season one vets, and one team will be the season two noobs. You'll be the Boom Vets, and the Network Noobs." Larry says: "Gee, did you think up of THAT on your own?"

Sniz says: "I DO have an ejector seat, and I'm not afraid to use it." And Larry sits back down. Sniz says: "All of your challenges this season will be based on popular movie genres, picked by our expert Fairy Godparent research team. Since we don't have an outhouse at this place, on this season, you can film your private confessionals in our new makeup trailers." (Confessional) Pearl is sitting in a fully stocked, newly finished, and neatly made Makeup Trailer. Pearl says: "Wow! These people really went all out to make us feel comfortable this season!" A hand appears in the scene and offers lipstick to her. Pearl shakes her head and says: "I'm sorry, I don't use that brand." (End Confessional)
Sniz says: "At the end of each challenge, whichever team has the lead in points based on winning the bigger portion of tasks for each challenge, will receive immunity. The losing team will have to attend the festive, but anxiety ridden awards ceremony, and see who will win a Silver Sniz, a tin-foil case containing a chocolate statue molded in my own image!" (Confessional) Sandy says: "The SILVER SNIZ? How narcissistic can you get?! Don't get me wrong, I still want one." (End Confessional)

Sniz says: "And in every award ceremony, the losing team has to vote someone off. Whoever DOESN'T receive a Silver Sniz must walk down the Red Carpet of Shame into our Lame-osine! AKA, the Limo of Losers. That means you're out of the competition, and you can never come back, EVER!" (Confessional) Ren Hoek says: "Who does he think he's kidding? I mean, I was allowed to come back even AFTER being eliminated last season for a second chance! Who's to say that it couldn't happen again?" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Don't forget contestants, the ultimate goal is to play towards the ultimate prize, $500,000 in cold, hard cash!" Stimpy says: "Now you're talking!" Lil says: "It's time for Lil to win herself some moola!" Susie says: "Keep your crazy car in the parked gear. We first have to know what are first challenge is going to be." Sniz says: "Speaking of knowing, it's time you know why there's nobody here at Nickelodeon Studios right now. Recently, one of our stars suffered a breakdown and began terrorizing the place." Pearl says: "It sounds really bad. Did she go see a therapist?" Sniz says: "Actually, it WASN'T a female star! It was a 50 story animatronic machine, known as REPTAR!" Susie says: "You mean that a giant machine of one of Hollywood's biggest monster movie series is rampaging through this set?!"

And a gigantic lizard food pounds down on the pavement just 3 yards ahead of them, and Reptar looks down and gives a great big: "ROAR!!!!" Rhonda says: "That is such a big..." But she doesn't finish her thought because she faints in her chair. Sniz says: "And if you haven't already guessed the theme for your challenge today is, MONSTER MOVIES! DUH! The goal is to not get caught by Reptar, and make it to the cast trailers first! Lights, camera, ACTION!!!!" And 23 contestants push and shove each other in an attempt to get out first and quickly make their own way to wherever the trailers might be located. Sniz looks at the ensuing chaos, sighs and says: "Huh. It's going to be a LONG season!" / (Commercial Break) Spongebob, Sandy, Susie, and Stimpy with Stinky run to a war movie set, to catch their breath and to think about where to start looking for the cast trailers. Susie says: "Something tells me that finding the cast trailers is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack!" Stimpy says: "Not necessarily. We simply need to form a plan of calculatis eliminatis." Spongebob says: "Calca-eliminata-what?!"

Stimpy says more slowly: "Calculatis eliminatis. It's a Latin term I picked up from my early acting days, studying under the master thespian, Muddy Mudskipper himself. He told me that if you have mislaid a certain something--." Spongebob says: "But the cast trailers aren't mislaid, we simply don't know where they are!" Stimpy says: "Keep your cool, and don't get hot. If we're going to find the cast trailers first, Calculatis eliminatis is the best chance that we've got. This technique can help out a lot! The best way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not. Sandy, do you have a pad of paper and a pencil?" Sandy says: "I always carry it around in my suit I got for the Karate Island episode." Stimpy says: "Then take notes of the sets we run through, and if we don't see the cast trailers, cross the names out. We should find them eventually." Susie asks: "Did you REALLY come up with that plan by yourself?!" Stimpy says: "Actually, it WAS Stinky's idea!" (Confessional) Susie says: "I have no idea what Stimpy ate BEFORE he had Stinky, but whatever it was, it must have been something with a lot of kick to produce something THAT smart!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "Well, the cast trailers certainly aren't at the war movie set, so we can cross that out." Sandy says: "Let's get moving! We don't have anytime to waste!" /

Meanwhile, Patrick, Pearl, Skipper and Marlene are exploring on a surfing movie set. Pearl says: "It's so great to be running with you, Patrick! You don't know how hard it is to find guys who like to do stuff with me!" Patrick says: "I find that hard to believe! You've got brains, beauty, and spunk to spare!" Pearl says: "Don't forget, I also have perfect 20/20 vision!" Skipper says: "What I want to know Pearl is why you're hanging out with Patrick and letting him follow us? He's on the other team." Pearl says: "Who I hang out with or why I hang out with them is none of YOUR business; so BUTT out!" (Confessional) Skipper says: "Who does that girl think she is, telling a penguin commander off? NOBODY tells the Skipper to BUTT out! Not even King Julian himself!" / Marlene says: "Skipper has...issues, dealing with authority figures. He can't STAND to see someone willing to speak their mind and go against Skipper's orders! Luckily, I have a special feminine touch for dealing with thorny problems such as this one!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "Skipper, everything is perfectly fine! You know I wouldn't let ANYBODY hurt our chances for winning $500,000! There's no reason to be concerned! Your endless brains and my endless energy are the only tools we need to stomp out the competition, and win the cash to make the New York City Zoo our very own!"

Skipper romantically says: "Perhaps you're right Marlene. We've got this competition in the bag!" Pearl says: "It's nice to see you two getting along, but where are we going to find the cast trailers?" Larry runs past and shouts: "Follow the GOOD looking contestants!" Craig Mammalton runs past and says: "Follow Larry!" Patrick, Pearl, Skipper, and Marlene begin to run for them, only to see Blue Arrow and Judy Funny kissing each other on the beach. Skipper says to the Camera Fairy: "Um, I don't think this is the kind of Action Sniz had in mind." (Confessional) Judy says: "Skipper is right. What was I thinking?! I mean, I do think Blue Arrow is a romantic, swashbuckling hero; but hey! I'm also trying to win $500,000 here!" / Blue Arrow says: "Skipper is right. It's time I got my head in the game." / Blue Arrow and Judy Funny resume kissing each other in the Makeup Trailer. (End Confessional) Gerald, Haggis McHaggis, Rancid Rabbit, and Dog are exploring through a Bank set. Gerald says: "New York City is nowhere as complicated as this set up!" Dog says: "It's too bad nobody's here, then I could set up my own separate bank account, that DOESN'T include Cat in it!" Rancid Rabbit says: "If we were doing this in Nearburg, I'd know what to do."

Haggis says: "This is a big problem! If only we were Weiner dogs, than our problems would be solved!" Gerald says: "What?!" Haggis says: "Or maybe it's a Scottish terrier I'm thinking of!" Rancid says: "You're insane!" Haggis says: "I am not! It's a story I read years ago about a dog. A poor canine named Rover accidentally got left behind from his family on a fishing trip 30 years ago. Using only his nose to guide him back to the scent of his owners, he had to cross rugged mountain creeks and scorching deserts in order to get home. Little Rover was one spunky puppy!" Dog says: "If a puppy could do it, I can do it!"
Haggis says: "But Rover had youth!" Dog says: "Don't get your dress tied up in a knot!" Haggis screams: "AUGH! Why does everybody always get that WRONG?! It's a manly kilt and you can tell by the manly name on the label!" Rancid says: "It looks like a dress to me!" (Confessional) Haggis says: "The indignities Scottish people have to put up with. Living in the United Kingdom, fighting off the Loch Ness, avoiding American Werewolves, and being ridiculed for our fashion! I wonder if Sean Connery has ever had days like this?" (End Confessional) Dog says: "Just for the record, I'm 16 in dog years, which is only about 2 in humans. I'll find those trailers no matter HOW long it takes!" Gerald says: "Do you even know what these trailers are supposed to smell like?"

Dog says: "No, but exploring is half the fun anyways!" Rancid groans and says: "For the love of all things rancid, why did I have to get put into a team with YOU in it?!" Dog says: "You're just lucky, I guess." Rancid shouts: "I don't WANT to be lucky!" / Ren, Reggie, Otto, and Rocko find themselves wandering in an Alien movie set. Rocko says: "Two hours of running and no sign of the cast trailers! Where ARE we anyways?" Ren answers: "If we knew THAT, we WOULDN'T be lost, EEDIOT!" Reggie says: "Don't call my boyfriend an idiot!" Otto says: "Spoken like a true Rocket! If we're going to be on the same team together, you need to learn how to get along with us, Mr. Rude, mean and bossy!" They get locked inside the room they're in, and an alarm begins sounding! Ren says: "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think we just walked into a trap!" And sure enough, the ceiling opens up to reveal Reptar who yowls a mighty big: "ROAR!!!!" Ren screams: "This is the end! Like the END, end! And I want to LIVE!" Otto sarcastically says: "And I always thought the end would come from some stupid stunt I pulled like skating down Mount Everest without a helmet." Rocko says: "You ACTUALLY DID that?!" Otto says: "I'm not EVEN going to ANSWER that one!"

And Reptar grabs them, takes them over an inflated bouncy castle (actually King Julien's bouncy borrowed from the New York City Zoo) and he dumps the captured contestants inside with no way to get out! Ren says: "Oh, I just KNEW I shouldn't have trimmed my nails today! Does anyone have some sharp fangs in their mouth?" Rocko says: "I'm a peaceful wallaby. I don't like biting at others." Otto says: "Well, I think it's safe to say that WE'RE not getting to the cast trailers first!" Reggie says: "But at least we can be entertained by having fun!" Rocko says: "You mean like making out?" Reggie says: "Absolutely!" And the love couple begins kissing each other, and Otto asks: "Why don't you two get a tree, or a cave, or a room, or, whatever it is a Wallaby and a Human get together?!" Rocko sarcastically asks: "Do you know of any good caves for sale?" Otto asks: "How would I know if a cave is--DOH!" And as Otto slaps himself, Rocko says: "See? You're not the ONLY being here who is capable of sarcasm!" / Reptar than searches for and finds Larry and Craig Mammalton. Than he reaches inside the Makeup Trailer and grabs Judy Funny and Blue Arrow! Larry says: "Don't scratch my exoskeleton, okay? I just had it waxed!" Craig says: "Excuse me, you're talking to a 50 story robot, and I don't think you can reason with it!" Blue Arrow asks: "How does this machine work ANYWAYS?!" /

Sniz talks to somebody, concealed behind a green screen box. Sniz says: "I'm glad the Anti-Fairies and Jorgen Von Strangle were able to work out a compromise to allow you to work here. Things will be a lot more dramatic with YOU around!" A familiar voice says: "Rest easy, because this season, I'm going to be SOMEBODY, not somebody's fool! And I pity the fools, who think that I'm going to make this challenge easy for them! Though I don't understand why I have to control the monster using out-dated, wireless motion control technology!" Sniz says: "Because the only way Jorgen would even ALLOW you to help us was to remove you of the magical skills the Anti-Fairies taught you. Any contestant caught using Fairy or Anti-Fairy magic on this show would be automatically eliminated; and that kind of magic would give a contestant an unfair advantage. That's why we haven't allowed Timmy Turner to be on this show." The familiar voice says: "No matter. I'm STILL more than enough threat to those goody-goodies even WITHOUT magic skills! I can handle ALL of them!" Sniz says: "I have the utmost confidence in you, GENERAL BARRACUDA!"

General Barracuda walks out appeared in a bunch of control sensors which are operating Reptar, and as General Barracuda moves, Reptar copies his moves. General Barracuda says: "The Clubber is back in town! Long live General Barracuda! Let those Spongebob Squarepants fools try and stop me now! MWA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!" In King Julien's Bouncy, Otto is surprised to see and hear Reptar walk up and drop some more victims into the Bouncy with them; Blue Arrow, Judy Funny, Craig Mammalton, and Larry the Lobster among them. Craig says: "So I take it that none of you have had the pleasure of finding the cast trailers either." Ren says: "What was your FIRST clue?" Blue Arrow says: "This WOULD be awful if I didn't have my bow and arrow set to take this Bouncy down!" Then Reptar reaches down and grabs Blue Arrow's quiver full of arrows and his bow away from him and breaks it! Blue Arrow says: "Crud! Now I'm just another masked protagonist without a gimmick! At least I still have Judy!" Judy says: "That sounds WONDERFUL!" And they continue kiss each other as though no one else is watching them.

(Confessional) Rocko says: "Some of the Network Noobs are getting off to a bad start. But the competition I'm most disappointed in is the couple known as Judy Funny and Blue Arrow. They're not taking this competition seriously. And to a Boom Vet such as me, it's a little insulting." (End Confessional) / Meanwhile, on a submarine set, Lil, Norbert, and Treeflower are looking to see if there are any clues as to where the trailers might be. Treeflower says: "Norbert, your clue seeking idea is pure genius! You're not only handsome, you're smart to!" Norbert says: "Well a lot of brains in addition to a lot of charming good looks never hurt anybody!" Lil says: "Do you think we'll see any Blue Meanies on this set?" Treeflower says: "I highly doubt it. We're in a MONSTER movie challenge, not an animated adventure challenge!" Lil says: "I just think at any time, we could suddenly be underneath the waves in a sea of green and living in our yellow submarine! (Sings) We all live in a Yellow submarine--." Norbert says: "Okay, Lil, we get the point!" Treeflower says: "Lil, how did you even get stuck in OUR group?!" Lil says: "Every other team was full!" Than Reptar rips open the submarine open and reaches for the aquatic mammals, Norbert and Treeflower! Norbert says: "Not good!" Than Lil jumps in front of them, and says to Reptar: "Leave them, take me; if you can!"

Treeflower says: "Are you CRAZY or in YOUR case, CRAZIER than usual?!" Lil says: "I'll distract him! You two get to safety!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "I have to admit one thing. All the lights aren't on inside of Lil's head. But as far as reliable team members go, she's going to be VERY handy to have around should we ever have to do a war movie challenge." / Lil says: "I LIVE for crazy challenges! And this is the craziest challenge I've seen to date! It was time for Ms. Deville to rumble with the robot!" (End Confessional) Lil shouts defiantly: "I'll meet up with you two later! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And she makes great leaps and bounds away from Reptar as the machine runs after it! Norbert says: "Lil's giving him the slip! Now it's time for us to make like bananas and peel out of here!" Treeflower says: "Wait! I just thought of something!" Norbert says: "What is it?" Treeflower says: "Lil can't POSSIBLY run away and evade Reptar forever! For every 20 steps WE take, he only needs to take TWO steps in order to match that distance! That's a losing proposition!" Norbert says: "Well, if you have a brilliant idea, now is the time to bring it up!"

Treeflower says: "As a matter of fact, I do! It's a known fact that robots HATE the water! It makes their outsides rust, and their insides short circuit! If we stick to the water, we'll be able to go faster with our aquatic skills, plus, Reptar can't catch us! It's a winning proposition!" Norbert romantically says: "I KNEW there was a good reason I fell in love with you! But why don't we take it a step further, and build something that only beavers can build? Something large enough to hold a bunch of water, and dump it on Reptar to short circuit him out?" Treeflower says: "Sounds good to me, but who can we get strong enough to carry it?" Norbert says: "My brother Daggett let me borrow his Muscular Beaver outfit while I was on this season of competition. When I wear it, I gain the strength of 102 Beavers!" Treeflower says: "Norbert, you are just full of surprises!" Norbert says: "I know!" (Confessional) Norbert says: "Treeflower has told me that she got a Junior Achievement Award in Critical Thinking Situations, as well as Creative Problem Solving! And now that we're getting put through this Monster Movie challenge, I can personally verify that she DEFINITELY deserves those awards!" (End Confessional) / Patrick, Pearl, Skipper, and Marlene walk into the same War Movie set that Spongebob and his friends were at earlier.

Skipper says: "A field of battle; now THIS is my idea of a glorious set!" Pearl says: "I don't see what's so glorious! My dad can brag about his glory days all he wants, but he NEVER talks about the true horrors of war!" Patrick says: "You mean like the infamous Battle of Bikini Bottom?" Pearl says: "Kind of, but even MORE vicious than that!" Marlene says: "Fellow Noobs hold on! I feel like we've forgotten something!" Skipper says: "Something or SOMEONE!" Pearl, Skipper, and Marlene simultaneously say: "RHONDA!" / Rhonda finally recovers from her fainting spell earlier and says: "Did somebody get the number of the bull from the bull market that mowed me down?" Sniz is there and says: "No, but I do know that you're WAY behind the others in trying to find the cast trailers; like, WAY behind! So, I suggest you get your rear in gear if you want to have a CHANCE of winning THIS challenge!" Rhonda hears Reptar's scary roar again, but keeps it together and says: "You can do this, Ms. Wellington! Play for your charities! Don't forget your charities!" And Rhonda starts heading toward the rock concert set. / Back in the War Movie set, Patrick says: "Pearl, just forget Rhonda! You don't NEED Rhonda! After all, you've got me!"

Pearl says: "I wouldn't forget about that!" Skipper says: "I suggest that you SHOULD forget about that! Where I come from, fraternizing with the opposite team is insubordination and results in exile for the conspiring enemy!" Patrick says: "We are NOT enemies!" Skipper says: "Don't play dumb!" Patrick says: "I'm not playing! Most of my dumbness is real!" Skipper says: "All the same, your naivety won't save you here. In this game, we're ALL enemies!" Pearl says: "EXCEPT for me and Patrick! I will ALWAYS have his back!" Patrick says: "And the same goes for me with you!" Skipper says: "I'll just remind you two of that when the money's being divided up!" Marlene says: "Skipper, their romance is the LAST thing we need to worry about! Do you know what I've found around this movie set?" Skipper says: "No, what?" Marlene says: "Footprints! And fur! From Susie, Stimpy, Sandy, and Spongebob Esquire! They've already been through here and they're ahead of us! I'm afraid we're just running around in a gigantic circle!" Patrick says: "But circles are a good thing! They're...circular!" Skipper says: "Your invertebrate's mastery of the English language is simply APALLING to me!" Patrick doesn't get the insult and says: "I didn't know you thought that I could speak English good!" Skipper yells: "I WAS BEING RUDE TO YOU!"

Than they hear Reptar's roar and before they can react, all 4 of them get grabbed by the robotic menace, and then get dumped into King Julien's bouncy. Otto says: "Great, another one, or rather, four more duds bite the dust." Patrick says: "But I'm not biting any dust."
Skipper shouts: "I'm going to go CRAZY if I have to stay trapped inside King Julien's Bouncy!" Ren says: "Join the club!" Skipper says: "Not likely! I'm LITERALLY using my head! My sharp beak will poke our way out of this inflated nightmare!" So Skipper does his usual Penguin slide jump and dive, but instead of boring through the Bouncy like he has before, he merely bounces off of the floor and gets tossed around like a car in a twister before he stops by hitting his head hard. Rocko says: "Skipper, forget that plan! I already tried something similar to that! They've reinforced the inside of the bouncy with some super hard rubber! We can't break the bouncy if we're already inside it!" Skipper sarcastically says: "That's just GREAT!" Patrick says: "No, it isn't." Skipper uses his flipper to face palm and says: "Exactly." Marlene says: "There's no need to worry. We still have 12 HIGHLY competent challengers looking for the cast trailers!" Than Reptar roars again and drops Rhonda in with the others. Rhonda says: "Now whoever heard of a reptilian monster at a rock stadium movie set?!"

Marlene says: "Okay, make that ELEVEN highly competent contestants looking for--." But while she was talking, Reptar rushed away, ran to a prehistoric movie set, and grabbed Dog, Rancid Rabbit, Gerald, and Haggis McHaggis, and dropped everyone except Haggis into the bouncy just as Marlene was saying: "--So we have no need to worry." And Rancid Rabbit bounces a lot (being a rabbit) and says to her: "That's what you think!" Dog says: "You bounce a lot, Rancid! You're like a green tennis ball, only smarter!" Gerald says: "This is NOT my idea of punishment for being captured! It's cruel and unusual!" Haggis shouts: "You stupid, reptilian monster! Why haven't you dropped me yet?!" Marlene looks up and says: "EW!!!! That's so gross!" Otto says: "We do NOT need to see that!" Reggie says: "I always thought that the rumor of Scottish people not wearing underwear underneath their kilts was just a myth!" Haggis yells: "You big, green bully! You're insulting the dignity of the McHaggis clan! Drop me right now before I tear your gizzards out!" And Reptar does this, and when Haggis says: "The NERVE of some machines! Having people see MY keister for their own personal enjoyment!" Patrick says: "I thought we were looking at your butt!"

Haggis says: "Same difference!" Otto says: "If that was YOUR idea of enjoyment, I hate to see your idea of MISERY!" Haggis says: "Don't worry, that's NOT my idea of enjoyment! My idea of enjoyment is acting in masterpiece movies!" Marlene says: "Well, we still don't need to worry. There is still--." Skipper slaps a flipper over Marlene's mouth and says: "Marlene, maybe you should just keep quiet for now before you jinx anybody else." / Spongebob and his friends are still running through set to set. Susie says: "And no trailers are at the Spy Movie set either!" Spongebob says: "Tartar sauce! That's the 21st movie set we've checked!" Sandy says: "Do you think this trailer finding challenge is just one, big, wild goose chase?" Stimpy says: "I don't believe that is possible! Sniz and Fondue only have ratings on their mind. They just want to make sure they have a good show. But they're smart! They wouldn't do ANYTHING that would involve us getting SERIOUSLY hurt!" (Confessional) Fondue says: Now there's a kind of comment I want to hear more of! It's nice to see SOMEBODY giving credit where credit is due! It's not easy for me to instruct a bunch of interns to build all those individual sets!" (End Confessional) When Reptar roars again, Susie says: "I think our luck at evading that beast has just run out!"

Sandy says: "Maybe not! Run into those tall buildings!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "Quite possibly the number one thing I love Sandy for is her ability to make QUICK intelligent decisions!" (End Confessional) They run through the wooden door only to realize that there only IS the front of the building, and they're completely exposed with nothing to protect themselves! Sandy says: "You mean EVERYTHING around here is FAKE?!" (Confessional) Spongebob adds: "Well, THAT and her incredible powers of perception." (End Confessional) Reptar breaks the fake building apart and grabs everyone except Stimpy and Stinky! Stimpy shouts: "NO! Don't devour them! I'm meatier! I'd fill you up more!" Stinky, inside his left ear says: "Don't give him any ideas! We've got to make a break for it!" Stimpy says: "Okay. I just hope that this doesn't count as bad karma." / Reptar drops Sandy, Spongebob, and Susie inside King Julien's bouncy, and then leaves to find Stimpy. Otto says: "Brainy squirrel?! You're the LAST one I would've expected to see here!" Sandy says: "I will not hear that talk from you! We're not even one episode into the second season and you're already insulting me again!" Spongebob says: "Sandy, there's no need to be harsh. Stimpy's still out there." Sandy says: "In that case, we ARE all doomed!"

Haggis says: "Never underestimate Stimpy's abilities! I have a prediction that there ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep him from getting to us!" Skipper says: "That's not a prediction! That's a song by Diana Ross!"
Haggis says: "Whatever! You understood my point!" Rocko says: "I agree, mates. If anybody can get us out of this scrape, it's all Stimpy!" Reggie says: "You're right, my little Australian love Wallaby! I just hope Stimpy knows what he's doing." Stimpy is running as hard as he can and as fast as he can, but the giant Reptar machine is still easily keeping up! Stimpy says: "Stinky, I don't think this running away plan is working! Reptar is not running out of energy! How long can his batteries hold out?!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "The beauty of the Reptar machine is that it NEVER runs out of energy, because I AM the batteries, and until I catch every single one of the contestants, I will NEVER stop running the Reptar machine!" (End Confessional) Stinky says: "Well, if we can't outlast Reptar's energy, we're just going to have to make Reptar malfunction somehow!" Stimpy says: "But how am I going to do that?" Lil zooms in, driving the Double Decker bus, and abruptly stops in front of Reptar's path! And Reptar abruptly stops, not wanting to trip over the magically transformed bus!

General Barracuda, watching the action remotely says: "What does that crazy girl think she is DOING?!" Lil says: "Stimpy, you don't have to think up of an idea on your own! I caught up with Norbert and Treeflower, they already thought of a plan!" Stimpy says: "You mean they didn't leave you?" Lil says: "They did, but I met up with them again in the water, and they built the greatest wooden product that beavers can build!" And Norbert, wearing Daggett's Muscular Beaver outfit, is pushing a GIGANTIC wooden bucket filled to the brim with water! Stinky says: "How did you build something THAT big so fast?!" Treeflower jumps into the scene, and says: "Muscular Beaver is a superhero, who can accomplish things at a super speed! My favorite superhero, it's time to rust this giant rust bucket!" And Norbert using his superhero might, throws the giant bucket of water over Reptar, and the electronics go haywire, causing General Barracuda to feel a painful electric shock! General Barracuda says: "Oh no! A short circuit! I'm losing control of the--(BOOM!!!!)--machine!" General Barracuda is charred black and the Reptar Machine is scorched in burns as it falls over backwards, completely powerless! Stimpy says: "Norbert; that was amazing!" Norbert takes off his Muscular Beaver outfit and says: "I know!"

Stimpy says: "In Hollywood, California, I personally know a superhero named Powdered Toastman. And while he may be great, I think your Muscular Beaver powers are even better than his!" Norbert blushes and he says: "I'm flattered that you think that!" Sniz suddenly poofs out of nowhere, thanks to the magic of the Fairy Godparents and says: "Congratulations to Stimpy, Stinky, Norbert, Treeflower, and Lil! You've outlasted Reptar! As a reward, you will get a decided advantage in our next big challenge! Now, all that remains is to rescue the other contestants and find the cast trailers!" Stimpy says: "I would, if I only knew where they were." Lil says: "I know where they are! I've been all over the set! Just follow me and you will see!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "In these kinds of competitions, it's always a good idea to have friends you can fall back on. I owe my success today to Norbert, Treeflower, Lil, and my son, Stinky. I couldn't have done it without them!" Stinky comes out of Stimpy's left ear and says: "Thank you for saying that, dad! That really means a lot to me!" (End Confessional) The remaining, uncaptured contestants arrive at King Julien's Bouncy castle where the captured contestants have been waiting, and have been bored out of their minds!

Ren says: "Stimpy?! You actually came to rescue me?!" Stimpy says: "Of course! You helped me get out of the Pet Pound way back in the early days! It's my turn to return the favor!" Craig says: "I'm glad you guys have finally showed up!" Larry says: "No kidding! I was actually getting tired of admiring my body!" (Confessional) Ren says: "Stimpy is such a noble cat. He's always willing to put others before himself. I don't think he has a selfish bone in his entire body. He makes me proud to call him my friend. Sigh, I wish I could know how I can be more like him." / Larry says: "I could have broken out myself using my lobster claws, but I'm saving my cut-throat energy and cunning tactics for later on this season when I will REALLY need to use them! Until then, I'm just biding my time and coasting on Craig's personality!" / Craig says: "While we were waiting in King Julien's bouncy, Larry the Lobster offered to make me, Craig Mammalton, into his first alliance member! He says that my good relations with the other contestants will be useful for the both of us and can win us great things! Larry has a lot of skills that I wish could be mine to have!" /

Larry says: "It's too early in the game to tell, but I'm going to wait and see just how Spongebob and Sandy play this game. If they prove to be good players who will work with me, I shall have them join my Inter-team alliance. If not, I will figure out the best possible way to get rid of them as soon as possible, before they become a threat to me!" (End Confessional) Stimpy says: "Fellow contestants, as of right now, your suffering has come to an end!" And Stimpy bears his cat claws, pops the protective seal of King Julien's Bouncy and it deflates, allowing the contestant's access to the outside. Sandy says: "Well Haggis, I don't usually say this, but I was wrong for once. You were actually right about Stimpy!" (Confessional) Craig says: "Sandy was actually WRONG for once?! That was the most shocking thing I've ever heard in my life! That's almost as shocking as me NOT having a glorious tan on my body!" (End confessional) Haggis says: "Don't worry about it. Age and experience often teaches you things that youth and naivety can not." Otto says: "Well, it's been fun and everything, but it's time we get to our cast trailers! That means YOU, Judy Funny and Blue Arrow!" And Blue Arrow and Judy remain lip-locked and hug-locked as everyone follows Lil Deville to the cast trailers.

(Confessional) Reggie Rocket says: "My brother can be SO impatient with others! He's impatient to me, impatient to our father, impatient to his friends, instructors, and impatient to people, he hardly even knows! He might have gotten away with being impatient LAST season, but I have a gut feeling that his impatience might really cause him trouble if he doesn't watch it!" / Rocko says: "Just because Otto is being impatient with others, doesn't mean that we should be impatient with him. It's like Buddha once said; you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him be patient. That Buddha is so profound." (End Confessional) The contestants finally arrive at the cast trailers, at the exact opposite end of the film lot that is farthest away from the studio entrance! Pearl says: "That's just typical! They ALWAYS put the goal in a place where you have to go through the largest amount of obstacles just to get there!" Patrick says: "Jelly fishing has its own obstacles to, you know." Skipper says: "Not as many obstacles as a penguin training course, though." Marlene says: "Come on, Skipper. You're not going to start THAT again, are you?" Sniz comes out of the green-painted movie trailer and says: "Contestants, you have come to the end of day one, although with the amount of time it took you guys to overcome Reptar, it felt more like TWO DAYS rather than one day!"

Sandy sighs and says: "I know. We've REALLY got to work on our time-management skills!" Sniz says: "Boom Vets, since your team was the only team to have contestants that remained uncaptured by Reptar, you get first pick of the trailers; either the green ones, or the red ones." Treeflower says: "Norbert, what's your preference?" Norbert says: "Whatever YOUR favorite color is, my little lamb chop." Treeflower says: "We'll pick the green ones!" Larry groans and says: "Oh man! The winning team ALWAYS picks the better color first!" Sniz says: "Anyways, I'd advise you to unpack your bags, eat dinner, than get some rest. We're going to have a busy day shooting our next challenge tomorrow, and filming begins at 6:30 AM sharp!" Susie sighs and says: "That's great! Another season of discontent!" Sniz says: "And if you have any complaints, don't bother taking it up with me, because I'll be too busy eating caviar and drinking Paris Purple Flurp to help you!" (Confessional) Rancid Rabbit says: "Sniz thinks he's such hot stuff, keeping his life of luxury separate from us! But I didn't get to be the Mayor of Nearburg for 13 months for nothing! In the next challenge, I'll show everyone what Rancid Rabbit can do!" /

Dog says: "I don't mind the tough challenges or the harsh conditions of this show at all! It still beats sharing a body with Cat!" (End Confessional) Lil and Stimpy head into the bedroom of their trailer, and turn out the lights as they get into bed. Lil says: "This was an exciting first day we had, wasn't it Stimpy?" Stimpy says: "It sure was, Lil. And I have a feeling that tomorrow will be even more exciting than today. And as long as we face everything together as a family, we will get through this game okay! No matter what happens! Isn't that right, Stinky?" Stinky rests in Stimpy's right ear and says: "Right, dad." Stimpy says: "Life doesn't get much better than this. I'm so happy and content just the way we are." (End Episode) Episode Notes: The two teams, the Boom Vets and the Network Noobs are formed; featuring returning contestants from season 1 and new season 2 contestants respectively. Larry forms an alliance with Craig Mammalton, and General Barracuda is now working behind the scenes to make the season 2 challenges extra tough! Nobody is voted out in this episode. / I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it!

I haven't finished completely writing out my latest episode idea yet, but I wanted to present what I've got completed so far. I will bring out the next part of this episode another time. /

Episode 2: "Welcome 2 the Jungle" Sniz is in the control room watching a bunch of TV monitors and says: "Last time on TOTAL CARTOON ACTION, 12 old contestants and 12 new contestants arrived on the set of the Nickelodeon Studios lot in Hollywood, Florida. They were expecting an easy cruise for their first challenge, but were all surprised by a HUGE monstrosity, namely, the monster named Reptar! But what the contestants didn't and still haven't realized, was that Reptar was controlled by none other than Spongebob's old nemesis, General Barracuda, hired by us in order to stir up the tension among the contestants, and provide drama the only way he knows how. And during the two team race between the season one Boom Vets and the season two Network Noobs, Blue Arrow and Judy Funny made out a LOT, Patrick frustrated Skipper to no end, Haggis McHaggis disgusted EVERYONE with his keister, while Norbert and Treeflower came to Stimpy's rescue by short-circuiting the Reptar machine. Stimpy was then able to save everyone from Spongebob, to Sandy, to Larry, to Pearl, and even Craig Mammalton, who had been trapped by General Barracuda's Reptar device. The Boom Vets got to choose the coolest of the two sets of trailers, leaving the Network Noobs fuming over their lousy colored red trailers. And that was only day one! What will happen today on day 2? Will Judy and Blue Arrow continue to make out? Will Patrick continue to frustrate Skipper? Will Haggis McHaggis disgust the contestants with his keister AGAIN? And will Larry the Lobster actually DO something in this challenge? Find out the answers to those questions and more on today's episode of TOTAL CARTOON ACTION!" /

In the trailers belonging to the Network Noobs, the season 2 contestants are still sleeping, but one of the contestants, the now liberated half of Catdog known as Dog, is having a particularly interesting dream. He mutters: "Joy, happiness, nothing but pure freedom." And the camera crew that is the Fairy Godparents from "The Fairly Oddparents" use their magical cameras to view Dog's dream. Dog is running through a field of flowers to the top of a hill, wearing leisurely clothes typical of the average Swiss gentleman of the late 1930's and sings: "The hills are alive, with the sound of music. How I long to hear it's friendly tones." But then, the sky darkens, lightning strikes with a rumbling sound, and the hill underneath him morphs into the face of his brother, Cat! The Cat face menacingly says, "You can run away from me, but you can't run away from your past!" And the Cat face opens his mouth, revealing a big hole that begins to suck in anything and everything in sight! Dog desperately tries to climb away from the Cat's open mouth, but winds up getting nowhere, fast! He desperately says: "No Cat, don't! I won't become a part of you again! I can't bear being attached to you! You've caused me too much pain and suffering! Just let me GO!!!!"

Just as Dog loses his grip and is about to fall into the Cat face's mouth, he wakes up to find out that he's only fallen out of bed. Marlene rushes to him and asks: "Dog, are you all right? What's happened?" Dog shakes off his slumber and says: "It was nothing Marlene, just a bad dream." / (Confessional) Dog says: "It took me a lot of work and a lot of effort on my part to muster up the courage to leave my brother Cat once and for all. I finally have a chance to prove myself without his help, and I can't afford to have any lingering thoughts of guilt of leaving Cat to be pummeled by those nasty, vicious Greasers to hold me back now! I have to stay focused, and prove to Cat that he needs ME a LOT more than I need HIM!" / Marlene says: "I'm very intuitive for a sea otter, okay? Skipper told me so himself. Out of all the sea otters Skipper has ever met, he has told me that I am by FAR the smartest he has ever seen. Of course, I don't know how many other sea otters Skipper has ever met in his life, but I'm digressing from the point I'm trying to make. The point I am making is that I can almost ALWAYS figure out when something heavy is weighing on someone's mind, such as my fellow team-mate, Dog. And I wanted to make a strategic, yet honest fact that I would be able to help Dog out with his problems in any way I could, no matter what those problems might be." (End Confessional)

Marlene says: "You know, Dog, you don't have to face your nightmare's alone. If there's anything you want to share with anybody, you can share it with me and I won't tell ANYBODY else, not even Skipper!" Dog says: "Well, there is SOMETHING I want to share. Playing this game feels a lot of fun to me and everything, but it would be a lot better if I had someone who could understand who I am and love me just for me. I want to be with someone who doesn't want to try to change me, or mold me, or control me. I want to live the life that a dog is meant to live, and share my affections with that one, special someone who will always return those affections to me." Marlene says: "I feel you, Dog. Trust me, I do. And while I AM committed to Skipper, I'll work out something and see if I can't find someone like--." Rhonda screams: "GERALD!!!!" Gerald rubs his eyes and says: "What's the deal, girl? I was just dreaming about me and Beyonce Knowles drinking Pina Colada in a nice hot jacuzzi." Rhonda says: "Look, we can NOT wear our pajamas to begin the second day of competition. So I decided to check out our closet to see what I should wear on a day like this, and do you know what I found?!" Gerald says: "Let me guess, nothing?" Rhonda says: "WORSE than nothing! There is nothing but leaves hung on clothes hangers hanging in our closet!" Haggis McHaggis gets up and says: "Leaves on our hangers? What is the meaning of that?!"

Sniz's private Asten Martin pulls up outside of the trailers, and Sniz honks his car horn loudly! Sniz announces through a loudspeaker, "ATTENTION contestants! Please put on the wardrobe we have provided you and step out to check your surroundings! I think you will be pleasantly surprised!" (Confessional) Sandy Cheeks says: "I HATE it when Sniz says that it will be something that 'pleasantly' surprises us. It always means something that is aimed to humiliate and/or degrade our self-esteem." / Sniz says: "I refute what Sandy Cheeks says. It's anything that's 'exciting' that humiliates and degrades a contestant's self-esteem. Whenever it's anything 'pleasantly' surprising, it always means something that's painful and quite possibly, life-threatening!" (End Confessional) / Rancid Rabbit says: "I don't know WHAT Sniz has in mind, but I'm not letting some fickle fashion choice hold me back from winning! I'm taking the bull by the horns, metaphorically speaking!" Skipper says: "Spoken like a man with the same ideals set as mine!" And the guys quickly put on the leaf 'cloths' that don't exactly leave a lot to the imagination, and Marlene says: "Come on, Rhonda. Let's do this. It's not exactly like you're going to see anything that you haven't seen before. Besides, you might find it to be fun!" Rhonda says: "I don't have to wear leaves! I have a note!" Pearl says: "Lose all of your drama, Rhonda!"

Rhonda says: "YOU'RE going to do this challenge?" Pearl says: "If it means being together with Patrick, than yes!" Rhonda groans in frustration, grabs a coat-hanger with hanging leaves and says: "I can't BELIEVE what my fellow team-mates want me to do! Just so they can have the pleasure of MY company?!" Blue Arrow and Judy Funny get up and are about to grab two coat hangers with leaves when Larry stops them! Larry asks: "And just what do you think YOU two are doing?" Judy says: "We're going to get changed so that we can join you in today's challenge." Larry says: "I don't think so! The kissing couple stays HERE!" Blue Arrow and Judy Funny both say: "WHAT?!" (Confessional) Larry says: "When I saw my leaves, I INSTANTLY knew that we were going to have to do a wilderness survival movie challenge, and in ANY wilderness survival movie challenge, the kissing couple is ALWAYS eliminated first! There was no WAY I was going to let those two lovebird IDIOTS mess up MY plans of winning $500,000! Uh-uh." (End Confessional) Blue Arrow says: "This might be it, Judy. We better make our time left, good!" Judy says: "That is so sweet of you to say." And they fall on the floor and start making out with each other again. Larry simply rolls his eyes and says nothing. / When all of the other contestants put on their leaves (it's the only thing they HAD to put on) they walk outside to find themselves in a CHANGED environment.

Otto groans loudly and says: "Oh no!" Spongebob asks: "What do you mean by, 'oh no'?" Otto says: "It's an old Rocket family expression, and in this case, it means only one of two things. Either Sniz and/or Fondue forgot to do their gardening which allowed this mosquito infested jungle swamp to overgrow the Nickelodeon Studios, or Sniz and Fondue have dumped us out into the REAL mosquito infested jungle swamp of Florida, which would make us officially--!" Reggie says: "Don't GO there, brother! I KNOW you don't have a quarter to put in the jar back home!" Otto says: "I would have 600,000 quarters right now if Sandy wasn't such a cheater!" (Confessional) Sandy says: "The only reason Otto says I've cheated is because I got the idea to make an alliance with Stimpy first during the last season, and that plan left Otto in third place. I still can't believe that ANYBODY could be such a sore loser!" / Spongebob says: "Anybody can be sore when they lose, but I sense a hidden ulterior motive to Otto Rocket's complaining. I'm keeping my eyes peeled to his actions, because I want to know what reason Otto could POSSIBLY have for being so angry with everybody here on this show!" /

Otto says: "Do you want to know why I'm so angry? Here's a hint. She's about 5'8 tall, has or HAD yellow hair, and could help me rip everyone else apart out of this lame game show in 2 seconds flat if given the chance?! (Camera briefly cuts) No, it's NOT a lioness with a bad haircut! I'm talking about Angelica Pickles! We made a plan to work together to get to the final three in THIS season, but then everyone else had to go and mess it up by ganging up against Angelica in the challenge that qualified ME but not her, to be in season 2 of this show! So if they're going to make MY time on season 2 of this show hard, than I'm going to make it harder for them to win against me for ruining my sure-fire plan of success! Because I can tell you one thing. Payback is a--." (Confessional Ends as Camera quickly cuts) Rocko says: "Let's just all relax. I've seen worse hazards in the Australian outbacks, or even the metropolis of O-Town. I can guide us through this." Ren Hoek says: "Who died and made YOU the tour guide of our group?! I've actually HAD Nature Show Documentary Experience! I took viewers to the Galapagos Islands and showed them the Lair of the Lummox! How can you POSSIBLY top that, eediot?!" Stimpy says: "Ren, I don't know if this is the time or the place for you to be biting off more than you can chew!" Ren says: "Stimpy, I would thank both you and your son VERY much if you would refer to me by my Documentary stage name of MARLON HOEK!" Stinky says: "Wow. Ren is in even a worse mood than usual."

Lil says: "You're not kidding there. Somebody really put a bee in HIS bonnet today!" (Confessional) Stimpy says: "Look, I love Ren, a LOT. Possibly more than any other straight guy with a son and a girlfriend could possibly find it to love Ren. The only problem Ren has is that he's inexplicably prone to random, violent mood swings. He's either really high-strung and downright vicious, or he's really miserable and depressed as if he feels nothing." Stinky asks: "Why do you think that is, dad?" Stimpy says: "I don't know, son. But for as long as I've known Ren, I don't think he's ever managed to last a week just staying happy. I almost have no difficulty at all being able to be a happy cat, which I why I get so attached to people I like. I know Ren has a good side. And I like to be with him, so that he feels more comfortable expressing it. When Ren does get happy, he gets REALLY happy, but his unexplainable anger and madness always keeps me at an emotional distance. I can't keep going on this way. I have to confront Ren and tell him that I need him to make a decision. He needs to decide whether he wants to keep me as a friend, or keep his violent mood swings." Stinky says: "Do you really think we can go through with this confrontation?" Stimpy says: "Son, with you by my side, I'm sure we can accomplish ANYTHING!" (End Confessional) Norbert says: "Sniz, could you PLEASE explain to us already what we have to do so that we don't have to wear leaves anymore?! It's making some of my team-mates upset!" Craig Mammalton says: "Speak for yourself. I don't find anything wrong with having to wear this kind of outfit." Larry says: "It figures that you wouldn't! You don't have a lady you're trying to impress! But I am going to do WHATEVER it takes to make Sandy dump that pathetic Spongebob! I WILL get her to love me! She is MY dream girl!" /

(Confessional) Craig says: "Larry is actually a complicated guy with complicated feelings. It may not look like it, but professional models and/or bodybuilder's like Larry have feelings to. We stare at them in admiration all day long, aspiring to have their looks, charisma, and charm. But they also have their dreams, their wishes, and their ambitions. My dream is to one day be as strong and charming as Larry the Lobster. My mom says that if I concentrate REALLY hard, all my dreams will come true!" (End Confessional) Sniz, still in his Asten Martin says: "All right, contestants. I thought you might enjoy the breeze, but because you INSIST on it, we'll skip the acclimation period." Patrick asks: "Acclimation period?" Pearl says: "That's how Ed Harris got used to the extreme ocean depths in the 1989 movie, THE ABYSS." Patrick says: "Oh!" Sniz says: "Anyways, you contestants are currently located in the GLORIOUS swamps that is better known as The EverGlades National Park!" Otto says: "Just so long as we don't run into that stupid amusement park created by our company's rival, Salt Diss-Me!" Sandy says: "You got the name wrong, Einstein." Otto says: "Don't patronize me!" Sniz says: "You won't be running into any amusement park. As you might have already guessed, today's challenge will revolve around the Wilderness Survival Movie Genre. The first rule of the most successful Wilderness Survival Movies is that there's little to no access to proper clothes, which is why you're only wearing leaves."

Rhonda says: "You're just saying that because you wanted an excuse to see all of us practically naked, didn't you?!" Sniz says: "I love my job. The second rule of the Wilderness Survival Movie is that there are dangerous man AND animal eating creatures out there that would love to make a meal out of you. To get back to the civilization that is the Nickelodeon Studios, you will have to utilize the GPS devices we have supplied you to find your way back to the lot where you will find your real trailers with your real clothes waiting for you." Rancid says: "But that doesn't make any sense! Why give us access to a GPS but not our clothes?!" Sniz says: "It's movie logic. I didn't come up with it. Consult Fondue, he's the expert. The winning team will be the one team that gets back to the Nickelodeon Studios lot first. Not only will their team be safe from tonight's bonfire elimination, they'll be the only team that is allowed to eat a fancy buffet dinner provided by the excellent Fairy cooks of Fairy World. The winners get to keep their team-mates, and the losers only get to keep their hunger! I have to go back to the Nickelodeon Studios now, but I'll be waiting for you. Oh, and one last word of warning. Watch out for cannibal head-hunters. They could be lurking anywhere!" And Sniz drives away with the fake trailers in tow, not realizing Judy and Blue Arrow are still inside of them.

Haggis McHaggis says: "That's just great! We're nearly nude and NOW we have to worry about cannibal head-hunters in addition to the dangerous animals of the Florida Everglades Swamp?!" Susie says: "This show just keeps getting crueler and crueler to us ALL the time!"
After Sniz has driven out of sight, Spongebob asks: "So now what do we do?" Sandy says: "I don't have any tools on me, so we will just have to walk." Norbert says: "But where?! There are like 3 dozen possible ways we could go! How do we know which way is the safest?!" Haggis says: "Hold on, fellow contestants! According to my GPS, there are 2 safe paths that both lead to the trailers at the Nickelodeon Studios. One is marked with red arrows, and the other is marked with green arrows." Rocko says: "I guess they're supposed to represent our team emblem colors because our boom symbol is green and your network symbol is red." Treeflower says: "So we will take the RIGHT path." Rancid says: "But in your case, right is wrong! We are going left and we will reach our trailers BEFORE you!" Ren says: "You are an EEDIOT if you think you can beat us! I can't wait to wipe that smug smile off your face!" Larry says: "Than you can just keep waiting, forever! I don't plan on our team losing while all of YOU suffer some horrible fate out in this dangerous wilderness! Unless a certain LADY squirrel wants to come with me! You'll have a good chance to admire my PERFECTLY chiseled, 100% insured, valuable, tough, strong, gorgeous body!"

Sandy says: "Dream ON, Tiny Tim! I don't follow any EX boyfriend of mine! You're just a chauvinistic jerk who truly cares only about yourself! Your charms didn't work on me on the beach, and they won't work for you here either!" Patrick giggles: "Tiny Tim, that's clever!" Sandy says: "I said that to humiliate and demean Larry. It's a self-esteem reducing technique girls use on their FORMER self-deluded boyfriends who can't get a clue!" Larry menacingly whispers so Sandy can't hear: "We'll SEE who doesn't have a clue when I get through with your yellow sponge! You WILL be BEGGING for my help before the day is out!" Craig says: "What was THAT, Larry?!" Larry says out loud: "Absolutely nothing, now move out!" And the two teams go off on their separate directions, except for Patrick who decides to follow Pearl. Stinky asks: "I wonder what kind of head-hunter would make a living out in the Florida swamp?" Otto says: "Oh, PLEASE! Sniz was just LYING to us! There IS no such thing as a Florida head-hunter!" But as the Boom Vets walk past a shady grove with a bunch of animal eyes peering out, a BIG, dark shadow with red eyes appears from behind a tree, and looks menacingly at them! /

(Confessional) General Barracuda mocks Otto Rocket: "No such thing as a Florida head-hunter. (Seriously) That Rocket boy is a fool! And I pity the fool, who thinks that my power and strength isn't real! I'm going to get my ULTIMATE revenge on Spongebob and all his STUPID friends! The world WILL learn to fear me, as I systematically pick all of those losers off one by one. And when I have them all, I will force Sniz to watch in horror as I LITERALLY chop off their heads, and Sniz will be FORCED to give ME the $500,000 if he doesn't want to share the same fate! Best part of all, I've got the best disguise in the world! (Puts on a Dark Lazer costume with a helmet, and speaks with an altered voice.) None of those contestants are EVER going to know what hit them!" (End confessional) Ren mutters and complains: "Marshes, palm trees, reptiles, bogs, stupid insects, everything in this stupid swamp looks the SAME!!!! This is the most MISERABLE day of my ENTIRE LIFE!!!!" Susie says: "Calm down, Ren. You won't accomplish anything by getting angry." Ren yells: "I am the PICTURE of calmness! Can you not SEE the calmness emanating from my FACE?!!!" Stimpy shouts: "That's enough!!!!" And all of his fellow team-mates gasp in shock! Reggie asks: "Did Stimpy just SHOUT at Ren?!" Stimpy sternly says: "Ren, we need to have a TALK, now!" And Stimpy grabs Ren by the ear and drags him into a glade.

Ren shouts: "Ow, my ear! Ow, my ear! OW, MY EAR!!!!" And Stimpy deposits Ren onto a log. Ren yells: "What was that for?!" Stimpy firmly says: "You've been acting completely irrational today! It's not good for team spirit! I don't know what your problem is but get over it! If you want to have any chance of winning, then everybody HAS to get along together!" Ren shouts: "I don't HAVE a problem, and I am NOT acting irrationally! WHY CAN'T YOU GET OFF MY CASE?!!!" Stinky says: "Ren, Stimpy has your best interests at heart. The least you can do is give Stimpy the chance to help you!" Ren screams: "I don't need HELPING!!!! I'm not some sad, pathetic loser like everyone thinks I am! I AM capable of great things, I'm capable of winning this stupid game! I'm capable of eliminating everyone who tries to mess with me, and you are on THIN ICE, Stimpy!" Stimpy firmly says: "Your words mean nothing to me. I know you can't actually harm me, your conscience won't let you." Ren says: "And are you going to STOP ME?!!! You're going to do NOTHING! You're not capable of physical harm, especially on me! You said it yourself! You don't have a mean bone in your entire body!!!!" And Stimpy does the unthinkable, and POUNDS Ren square in the face, knocking out one of his teeth! Ren screams: "AHHH!!!!" /

And Ren hits the ground hard! Stimpy shouts: "Oh no! What have I done?!" Stinky says: "He brought that punch on himself!" Stimpy says: "I never WANTED to hit anybody, especially Ren! But, it was as though I was possessed by something! I couldn't stop!" /
(Confessional) Stimpy says: "It's official. Today is the WORST day of my entire life! After everything Ren has ever done for me, how do I repay him? I punch him square in the face!" Stinky says: "But he deserved it!" Stimpy says: "But not from me! I was only trying to be kind in helping him get rid of his anger, and instead I did the opposite! So I guess maybe I DO have maybe one mean bone in my body, but probably just one of those tiny bones inside of my ear." Stinky says: "Let's call it your cut-throat cochlea." Stimpy says: "That is good, that IS good! I got to remember that one!" (End Confessional) Stimpy says: "It's all my fault, Ren! I promised we wouldn't get into a fight, and not only did we battle with words, I hurt you with my hand! I've inflicted pain both on you AND on myself!" Ren gets up and cries: "Stimpy, I'm SORRY!!!!" Stimpy says: "Why are YOU sorry? I'm the one who hit you!" Ren says: "No, you were right! I wasn't calm, I was completely irrational, I do need helping, and I DO have a problem!" Stimpy says: "What kind of problem?"

Ren says: "All of my life, my emotions always swing wildly from one extreme end to another. I do therapy, but it keeps popping up! When my emotions swing, its almost like I become a completely different dog and I can't control myself! I'm sorry you had to hit me for me to see how much pain I'm in!" Stinky says: "Wow. Ren really IS hung up on his emotions. I'm sorry I doubted you, Dad." Stimpy says: "It's alright, son. Listen Ren, I'm not a doctor but I've played Doctor Stupid on TV. I want to help you with your problem, but if I'm ever to understand how I need to help you, I must first know everything about you. So, begin sharing." Ren stops crying and says: "All right. I was born in a place called Spumco." / Meanwhile, the Network Noobs are keeping a close eye out for their red arrows. Larry says: "Who does Sandy think she IS?! That girl is rejecting the WRONG guy! Nobody says 'NO' to Larry!" Rancid says: "I hear you, buddy!" Larry says: "To think that she would dismiss me, and REJECT me, even when I am so clearly STRONGER than Spongebob!" Gerald says: "The race isn't always to the swiftest nor the battle to the strongest." Rhonda says: "But that's the way to bet!" Dog says: "Larry, maybe you should just let it go. I'm no expert on girls, but I'm pretty sure that if you hang on to the fact that Sandy doesn't want you, and you don't accept that fact, it's going to eat you up inside and the end result won't be pretty!" Pearl says: "Personally, do you want to know what I think? I think Larry is JEALOUS of Spongebob!" Larry says: "Jealous of THAT wimp?! PLEASE! Don't make me laugh! Ha, ha, ha." Patrick says: "Than what grudge have YOU got against Spongebob?"

Skipper says: "Patrick?! Why are you following us?! Why don't you follow YOUR team?!" Patrick says: "Because Pearl isn't IN my team!" Marlene says: "I hear you, Skipper. If Skipper and I WERE on separate teams, I'd still make it a point to try to be with him, because I am crazy for a sharp-dressed penguin!" Skipper blushes: "Why Marlene, I had no idea you cared THAT much for me!" (Confessional) Skipper says: "Maybe I've got Patrick all wrong. Perhaps he is just a pink sea star who wants to be with his girlfriend. I have to admit that in this game show, Marlene is sure making a lot of sense. Love sure does funny things to your senses." / Marlene says: "It's simple empathy logic. The more love I show for Skipper, the more love Skipper will have for others who are in love with each other. Skipper is already a good penguin, but I have been working on a secret love angle! I've been working with Kowalski for help in trying to get me and Skipper together. Because I will tell you one thing, it would be SO nice to have a real man like Skipper cracking oysters and playing Spanish guitar for me." (End confessional) Haggis says: "Patrick, I just want to say that if you want to be with us, you're more than welcome to tag along. Because our team could certainly use the help since Blue Arrow and Judy Funny aren't doing THEIR fair share of helping!" Rhonda asks: "Where are those two anyways?" /

Back at Nickelodeon Studios, where the cast trailers are, Sniz and Fondue are having fun at the contestant's expense! Sniz says: "That Aang is such an IDIOT for ever trusting M. Night Shamalyan with HIS movie!" Fondue says: "I can't believe Aang actually bought that director's phony perfection policy!" Sniz says: "Aang sure deserved having his over-inflated ego knocked down a notch!" Than the two brothers hear a strange, sucking-like sound. Fondue says: "What in the world is THAT noise?" Sniz says: "Is our plumbing being clogged with alligators again?!" Fondue says: "Impossible! I had the best Fairy Godparents magically safe-guard our sewer system this morning! No alligator can get through!" Sniz says: "Well, we better found out what IS making that strange cacophany before we all go completely insane!" Fondue says: "It sounds like it's coming from a red trailer!" Sniz says: "Than go check it out already!" Fondue says: "Wait just a cotton-picking minute! Why do I have to go check it out?!" Sniz says: "Because YOU, my brother, happen to be expendable!" Fondue groans: "I HATE my life!" Fondue walks over to a red Network Noob trailer, he kicks the door open, expecting something vicious to pop up, but sees only Blue Arrow and Judy Funny kissing! Fondue shouts: "It's just the two romantic lovebirds on the Network team!" Sniz says: "Don't those two EVER get tired of sucking face on each other?"

Fondue says: "I'm guessing that would be a no." Sniz says: "They were SUPPOSED to participate in the challenge, not catch a ride back here! Have them taken care of!" Fondue says: "The pleasure will be our Hired Hand's greatest delight!" And the disguised General Barracuda sneaks out of the jungle. He says: "I'm going to enjoy THIS pleasure! AHHH!!!! Kill! Kill, kill, KILL!!!!" And just like Rambo, General Barracuda busts into the red trailer, and shoots Blue Arrow and Judy Funny with a bunch of red paintballs before they even have a chance to react! Judy Funny dramatically says: "Light fading fast! My life is leaving this world! Why do we always hurt the ones we love?! So long, farewell, auf weidershin, good-bye. Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow!" And she drops down to the ground.(Confessional) Judy says: "I'm not one to toot my own horn, but that fake death scene was epic! It ought to win me the academy award!" / General Barracuda says: "Two down, 22 to go! Those lovebirds will have to hold on tight, bound in ropes that will force them to stick around while I catch the others!" (End confessional) / Rhonda says: "If you ask me, not having the best actress on our team OR the most qualified hero on our team to help us guard against the dangers of this swamp is pathetic! Where is their team ethic?! We have got to get our game faces on! If we don't band together, we are going to lose! Now who's with me?!" And a naturally naked monkey unexpectedly screeches and falls out of a tree into Patrick's arms! Patrick says: "Well, this is very unexpected!"

Marlene says: "Wait a minute, I KNOW this monkey! He once had an act at the New York Zoo!" Skipper says: "Wait a minute, you don't mean...?" Marlene says: "It's Darwin! From The Wild Thornberries! Its such an honor to have another fellow mammal on my team!" Darwin says: "The honor is all mine, naturally." Gerald says: "Wait a minute! This monkey can talk?!" Craig says: "I don't see why THAT should surprise you. Eliza Thornberry could talk to animals, and in turn, she has taught every animal she's ever talked to the ability to speak to humans." Rhonda says: "And what about all you other animals? How did YOU learn to speak English?" Dog says: "We were just born knowing how to do it naturally!" (Confessional) Gerald says: "I like animals as much as the next guy, but it would be kind of nice for Sniz and Fondue to have a little consistency when explaining how animals can talk to us or anything else involving different rules that varies between all the different Nicktoons animated series." (End Confessional) Haggis says: "Now this is the kind of thing we need, positive reinforcements! We may not have Judy Funny or Blue Arrow here with us, but we have gained Patrick Star and Darwin. That is, if you two would care to join our efforts!" Darwin says: "Do you really mean it?" Haggis says: "Most of us may not have the game show experience the season one contestants have, but that's not going to stop us from giving it our all! I, as the democratically elected team leader, shall give you something important I learned as a wee laddie starting out on my own show. If you hear a sad song, make it better, get back to where you once belonged, let it be, because things are getting better all the time." Skipper says: "Haggis, you just referenced four Beatles songs in one sentence." Haggis says: "The point I'm trying to make is that I know all about how it looks like the odds are against us, but I'm here to tell you all to be strong, be fierce! Let's fight for immunity as though it was Boxing Day and you're fighting for the most valuable lederhosen kilt you have ever laid eyes on! SHOW NO MERCY!!!!"

And everyone on the team cheers! (Confessional) Marlene says: "Okay, Haggis McHaggis may have an ugly keister, but he definitely makes for one effective speech giver! With him leading our team, we just might be able to achieve victory for ourselves yet!" (End Confessional) / I have to run now, I'll finish this another time.

This is just a short little announcement to say while I haven't gotten around to writing the rest of my most recent episode idea, I'd just thought of giving everybody the convenience of seeing a certain place they can go to keep a watch on how all of the different characters from "Total Cartoon Action" are doing so far! And the picture in the link will change in accordance with each new episode I put up here and there! http://4evergreen.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2iskox The next time I see you, I WILL present more "Total Cartoon Action!" :idea:

It's taken me what I consider to be forever (AKA: TOO LONG!!!!) But I'm finally ready to present more of "Total Cartoon Action!" / (Part II) "Welcome 2 the Jungle"

Spongebob, Sandy, and the other contestants on the Boom Vets team, were waiting to see Ren and Stimpy come back. Sandy says: "They went off quite some time ago to have their talk. Do you think something has happened to them?" Spongebob says: "Don't worry about it, Sandy. Stimpy is a very reliable guy, especially now that he has a son to take care of. If something WERE amiss, Stimpy would be one of the first to let us know about any and all developments that happen during a challenge." Otto says: "I hate waiting for that irritating dog and goofy cat! If Stimpy didn't feel the need to try to fix EVERY little thing that goes wrong with Ren Hobbit or whatever his last name is whenever he decides to freak out for no good reason, I'd be out of my leaves and back in REAL clothes again by now!" Norbert says: "His last name is HOEK and you don't know for sure what kind of issues Ren happens to have! Besides, if ANYONE can get Ren back into a good mood, it has got to be Stimpy, because he can do no wrong in my book!" (Confessional) Norbert says: "Otto has to get argumentative about the stupidest things, that's why I love it whenever I or anybody else gets the chance to take him down a notch where he belongs! Besides, when you really think about it, all Nicktoons owe their own show's popularity BECAUSE of Ren and Stimpy's show. If their show didn't get the chance to be on Nickelodeon, than my own show might not have ever been on Nickelodeon. I think that's why many Nicktoons, myself included, think of Stimpy as the best Nicktoon in existence." (End Confessional) Suddenly, the other Boom Vets hear something moving among the bushes in the Florida jungle swamp. Susie says: "Is that Ren and Stimpy coming back?" Lil says: "It's about time! I was beginning to worry about them!" Stimpy walks into view holding a still bruised Ren in his arms and says: "Here we are! It took a little bit of doing, but I've finally come to an understanding about why Ren has his little freak-outs." Otto says: "Spit it out, then! An emotionally volatile Chihuahua is the LAST thing we need in dragging the rest of us down!" Rocko says: "Just ignore Otto and his anger, it's really counter-productive." Stimpy says: "Okay then, first of all. Ren had a very troublesome childhood growing up." Treeflower says: "I'm not that surprised."

Stimpy continues: "Anyways, Ren faced a lot of bullies and hurt during his formative years, and the adults in his life really didn't help him out much. In order to cope with his troubling situations, Ren developed alternate personalities in order to keep himself from being too burdened by all his troubles. Unfortunately, it's proven to be a hindrance to him in his teenage life, as I've come to find out. Since Ren doesn't want to hurt or be hurt by anyone anymore, he has agreed to seek treatment for his multiple personality syndrome once this season of the game show is over!" (Confessional) Reggie gasps: "Multiple personality syndrome?! No wonder Ren always has issues, and tends to freak out over what I might consider to be no big deal. Ren must have developed some triggers in his past, and they cause him to become a different dog. It all makes sense!" (End Confessional) Stimpy says: "In any event, until Ren gets his treatment, he has stated to me that we are to refer to him as MARLON Hoek until he becomes better again, because that's who he happens to be at this moment." Lil says: "That's fine with me! I really don't mind what we have to call Ren--OOPS! I mean, Marlon Hoek; as long as he helps us to win challenges, he's okay in my books!" And all of the other contestants except Otto nod their heads and speak in agreement. Stimpy says: "Stinky, your idea was a hit. Ren is back to being one of our team thanks to you!" Stinky says: "You're welcome dad, but it's more than that, all Ren needed was a second chance." Unfortunately, what none of the Boom Vets realized is that two evil eyes were peering at them through the dark brush filled in the Florida jungle swamps. General Barracuda, disguised as Dark Laser says in his disguised voice: "What a touching moment of sympathy and empathy. Pity that I have to ruin it in order to get MY $500,000! The time has come to strike again!" Susie says: "By the way, Stimpy, how DID Ren get a bruise on his eye and a lost tooth in his mouth?" But before Stimpy can reply honestly, General Barracuda comes rushing out of the eerie growth and screams: AHHH!!!! Kill, kill, kill, KILL!!!!" And he shoots a net at Ren, capturing him instantly!

Stimpy yells: "Ren! No!!!!" And Ren replies weakly: "Run, and save yourself!" Sandy says: "So Otto, there are no WHAT'S in Florida?!" Otto says: "So I was wrong about one thing, so sue me!" General Barracuda mutters: "Now then, which one should I capture next?" He points his net gun at Susie and screams: "I choose YOU!!!!" And Susie Carmichael gets caught and shouts: "Oh no! I'm out!" Spongebob says: "Whoever he is, he's not kidding around! What are we going to do?!" Sandy yells: "SCATTER!!!!" And the remaining, uncaught Boom Vets all take off in different directions, not wanting to follow the path knowing that the head-hunter cannibal AKA General Barracuda would easily catch them out in the open. General Barracuda says: "Go ahead and try to hide yourselves, it will make no difference. After all, all the G.P.S.s' you have are wire-lessly linked to mine, so I can find you ANYWHERE to run! I'll take those two back to the base, than I'll work on catching the Network Noobs! Today, all of those fools are mine!" / Back in the Network Noob's neck of their jungle path, Rancid asks: "Say, Haggis McHaggis, what is our next major plan of movement, oh fearless leader?" Larry screams: "WHAT?!!!" (Confessional) Larry is LITERALLY steaming as he yells: "How DARE anybody on MY team refer to ANYONE besides myself as the leader! I was named Mr. Universe of Bikini Bottom eight years running, I have won 50 weight-lifting championships, I have six golden muscle awards, and no shrimpy, smug, graying, ancient, EXCUSE for an actor is going to USURP leadership from me! It's time for me to lay down the law, HARD!!!!" (End Confessional) Larry shouts: "HAGGIS!!!! Since WHEN did you get the credentials to be a leading man?!" Haggis says: "Since I've appeared in at least four movies as a leading actor, winning a valuable Oscar, and several Emmy's on all of TV show appearances! I have experience!"

Larry says: "But you don't have youth! I have the speed and strength that YOU have NEVER had! You THINK you can be a better leader than ME?!" Haggis says: "Little whippersnapper, I KNOW that I am a better leader than you, because true leadership is founded on the principles of kindness and understanding, not the threat of brutality and dictatorship!" Larry says: "Than take me DOWN, if you think you can!" Haggis says: "Don't you DARE hold back on me just because I'm more than triple YOUR age!" Larry says: "Don't make me LAUGH!" Pearl says: "This ought to be interesting!" (Confessional) Pearl says: "What a cool development! Two practically naked guys, one really hot and sexy and the other...well, kind of old, are going to fight each other! It's just like the ancient Olympics in Greece! The only thing missing is a chariot race with lions!" (End confessional) Haggis shouts: "For the honor of the McHaggis clan, taste my FURY!!!!" And Haggis leaps a mighty leap and soars to behind Larry's back and Haggis grabs onto Larry's antennae. Larry yells: "OW!!!! What are you doing?! Get OFF of there! My muscles, too HUGE! I can't reach behind my back!" And with a mighty pull, Haggis contorts Larry into a stiff, immobile statue incapable of body movement. Haggis leaps to join the other Network Noobs and says: "I think it's time to inform you that on a lobster's body, there are 52 joint muscles that when hit with intense pain, causes the body instant paralyzing! I have shown you but one of them! If you EVER get out of line again, I'll show you 50 more of those muscles! The 52nd and last muscle is one I'll have to save in case we ever get into a duel to the death!" (Confessional) Skipper says: "Haggis is a certified, crazy Scots-man! But he is incredibly smart! He's like the best qualities of Rico and Kowalski combined into one! I have GOT to get him to teach me those superb fighting techniques!" (End Confessional) Haggis says: "Now then, if I give you back your proper body mobility, will you promise to behave, Larry?" But before Larry can say anything, the disguised General Barracuda jumps out in front of them and in his disguised voice, says: "That would be ENTIRELY counter-productive! After all, I'd like to collect Larry just the way he is, frozen like a STATUE!" And General Barracuda shoots an ice ray at Larry, stiffening him even further! Patrick says: "Wait a minute, don't I KNOW you?!"

General Barracuda briefly panics and says: "Of course not, fool! I'm a headhunter cannibal native to FLORIDA! You've never seen ME before, you fool!" Patrick says: "But I think I have. Your muscular build is very similar--." General Barracuda interrupts loudly: "I said SHUT UP FOOL!!!!" And General Barracuda tries to shoot a net to capture Patrick but Pearl leaps in and says: "Patrick, look out!" And Pearl pushes Patrick out of the way at the last second, and General Barracuda ends up capturing Pearl! General Barracuda says: "You little BRAT!!!! You got in the WAY!!!!" Patrick angrily says: "How DARE you capture Pearl, you SICK freak! Nobody tries to harm MY girlfriend and gets away with it! AHHH!" And without warning, Patrick grabs onto General Barracuda, trying to wrestle him to the ground! General Barracuda screams: "Stupid sea star! Let go of me THIS INSTANT!!!!" Skipper says: "This is our golden opportunity! We can attack him now!" Marlene says: "Skipper, I think that would be a tad disastrous at this junction!" Darwin says: "She's right! We've got to run for it! This team STILL has to win this challenge!" Dog says: "Anywhere Haggis goes, I go!" Haggis says: "Then let's go forth and win this battle!" And the remaining Network Noobs run down the path, hoping to get back to their trailers first! Patrick however, is still struggling with General Barracuda. General Barracuda says: "Stupid FOOL! Do you really think you can beat ME?!" Patrick says: "Days and weeks of training hard will soon tell me the answer!" And Patrick punches General Barracuda's Dark Laser mask SO hard, it comes right off of his head! Patrick stops and exclaims: "YOU?! EVERYONE! It's Barracuda! It's General Bar--!" General Barracuda interrupts and says in his normal voice: "Oh no, you don't!" And General Barracuda quickly stuffs an apple into Patrick's mouth, than bounds and gags Patrick so that he can't move! General Barracuda grabs Patrick and says: "You may be stupid, but I can't even take the chance that the other contestants COULD believe what you say, so take MY secret to the bottom of the river!!!!"

And General Barracuda throws Patrick down a raging waterfall filled with jagged rocks below! General Barracuda says: "So much for getting a ransom off of him. No matter, there are 23 other contestants who Sniz will be willing to protect. MWA HA, HA!!!!" And General Barracuda puts his Dark Laser mask back on, and goes to retrieve the two contestants he has already caught! But unknown to the General, near the bottom of the waterfall, an apple and a bunch of tape come up to the surface of the river, than PATRICK jumps out and catches his breath on one of the rocks! Patrick gasps: "I've got to find my fellow contestants, and warn them, General Barracuda has returned!" / Meanwhile, on the Boom Vet's path, the camera shows the path leading to a rickety rope bridge hanging over the deep canyon that the river runs through, thousands of feet below. Sandy arrives there and says: "Well, it looks like I threw THAT maniac off my back! I just hope the others were as lucky!" Fortunately for Sandy, other fellow contestants Stimpy with Stinky, Reggie, Rocko, Norbert, Treeflower, and Spongebob come out of the trees to join her presence. Sandy says: "What luck! All of you ARE okay! But, where are Otto and Lil?" Stimpy and Reggie both simultaneously say: "We got separated!" / Otto is walking through the Florida swamp jungle and says: "On the run with no clothes, no good sports, and no friends to enjoy it with, this has got to be the SUCKIEST challenge I've ever been through! What kind of messed up person actually LIVES here for fun?!" Than Otto sees a new "Sports Illustrated" magazine strangely attached to a piece of brown rope just laying on the ground! Otto says: "Athletes and hot babes?! My luck is FINALLY beginning to turn!" And Otto tries to pick up the magazine, but the rope that the magazine is attached to, pulls tight on a trap mechanism that releases a giant net from the sky that captures Otto, and flings him into the air! The disguised General Barracuda then jumps out and says: "Stupid Rocket, doubting MY existence! You are SO predictable, I just KNEW you'd go for anything in a helmet or in bathing suits!" (Confessional) Otto Rocket says: "Stupid, stupid, STUPID! I KNEW I should have listened to Tito! NEVER, pick up a strange magazine in a strange place unless you know where it has been!" (End Confessional) /

Lil is also walking through the Florida swamp jungle and says: "Running in leaves, fleeing for my life, in a hot and humid place is something I can handle, but one thing I CAN'T handle is having nothing to eat! Man, am I hungry!" Than Lil looks down and says: "Ooh, a piece of candy!" She picks it up and eats it, than she looks down again and says: "Ooh, a piece of candy!" And Lil picks it up and eats it again, as she follows a carefully laid trail of candy pieces, all the while saying: "Ooh, a piece of candy!" And picking it up and eating it, for a total of sixteen times, until a giant box SLAMS down around her, effectively trapping her, and General Barracuda says in his disguised voice: "Okay, next time I'm going to remember to do this right away, especially since Stimpy is ALMOST as foolish as Lil is!" Lil says: "Something tells me I should be feeling PRETTY stupid about now!" / Treeflower says to Sandy: "I'm sorry, but we can't afford to wait for them. There is no time to waste! We MUST win this challenge! And it looks like this bridge is our only way across!" Rocko says: "Excuse me, but how can we be absolutely sure this bridge is SAFE?!" Norbert says: "Simple math! All we have to do is send the lightest one across the bridge first. If it holds, we send the next lightest and so on until we're all safely across! And if on the off-chance the bridge DOES break apart and fall, chances are that at least one of us, or maybe even most of us will make it across! After all, Sniz and Fondue have guaranteed us safety on this show!" (Confessional) Sniz says: "The opinions expressed by the contestants on this show do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host and workers on this show, or this show's parent network. They may on occasion, but not necessarily!" (End Confessional) Spongebob says: "Well, I have to admit that its a pretty good plan, but who among us is the lightest?" Reggie says: "Obviously, that would be you." Stinky says: "Hey! What am I, chopped liver?" Reggie says: "You can float across, you don't NEED to worry about a bridge, remember?" Stinky says: "Of course! How could I forget?" Spongebob says: "Just my luck that I should be first! Well, here goes!"

Spongebob quickly runs across the bridge, but it holds fast and doesn't even swing a smidgen. Spongebob says: "It's okay! I've made it to the other side!" Sandy says: "Good job, honey! Guess it's my turn to go next!" And Sandy uses her acrobatic skills to leap on the bridge, and while the bridge slightly moves up and down, Sandy also makes it across safely! Sandy says: "Nothing to it but to do it!" Norbert says: "Sugar beaver, my Treeflower baby, which one of us do you think should go across next? Treeflower says: "Well, we both weigh about the same. I'm not sure how we're going to proceed on this." Norbert says: "I'll go. That way, if the bridge falls apart while I cross, at least YOU'LL still be safe on firm ground!" Treeflower says: "Wow, Norbert! That is SO brave of you!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "The easiest way to tell if someone truly loves you, is if they're willing to take a risk on your behalf! That's when I knew that it was without a doubt that Norbert truly loves me!" (End Confessional) And Norbert also runs across the bridge, taking care not to let his tail slam down on the bridge and cause it to shake, and Norbert makes it across safely! Norbert gasps: "That was a bit nerve-wracking! It's clear to say that I'm getting MY exercise for today!" Treeflower says: "Good job, my brave wood-chopping man! I'll go across now!" And Treeflower begins to skip across, but her skips cause the bridge to jump and shake! Treeflower exclaims: "Jumping crickets! Why is the bridge moving around?! There's no WAY I'm heavier than Norbert! No offense!" Norbert says: "None taken!" Spongebob says: "Treeflower! Your tail is hitting the bridge, and the reverberations are making the bridge less stable! Keep your tail up!" Treeflower silently says: "Thank you, Mr. Obvious!" And Treeflower makes it across the rest of the bridge with no difficulty. Norbert says: "Good job, my little maple syrup! High five!" And Treeflower weakly high-fives Norbert! Reggie says: "Rocko, I guess its your turn to cross." Rocko says: "But I don't want to cross without you! What if the bridge breaks after I walk across and before you walk across and we get separated?" Stimpy says: "Rocko, don't you remember that special talent of yours from LAST season?" Rocko exclaims: "Right! How could I possibly forget?! Reggie, I'll use my tail as a helicopter, and you can hold on tight to me while I fly across! Thank you, Stimpy! That's very resourceful!" Stimpy blushes and says: "Don't worry, Rocko. It's nothing." Reggie hugs onto Rocko's back and Rocko says: "Hold tight, fair Sheila! Here we GO!"

And Rocko bounces up and his tail rotates around like a helicopter, and they manage to safely fly across the bridge's length and land on the other side. Reggie says: "Way to go, Rocko! Have you ever thought about taking flying professionally?" Rocko gasps and says: "It's not as easy as it looks! Having to transport someone on my back when I fly takes an awful lot out of me!" Stinky says: Well dad, looks like we're the only two left!" Stimpy says: "But I'm scared! I'm still nervous about heights!" Stinky says: "Really?" Sandy says: "From the very FIRST challenge last season! He was nervous before jumping off that high cliff!" Stinky says: "Don't worry, dad. I'm HERE for you. We CAN make it across! Just keep your eyes on me, keep moving towards me, and whatever happens, DON'T look down!" Reggie says: "That's the WORST thing you can ever TELL somebody! Every single time someone is told not to look down, they look down anyways and it becomes almost impossible to get across!" Stimpy says: "I'm not going to live my nine lives in fear! I'm going to cross!" And with a strong, slightly nervous resolve, Stimpy makes his way across the bridge, keeping an eye on Stinky at all times! Stinky says: "You're doing good dad, just take it one step at a time!" Stimpy says: "I'm as light as a feather, I'm as light as a feather!" And right at that moment, Cosmo in parrot form flies over the bridge and a feather falls off of him. It lands on the bridge, and it causes a WHOLE wooden plank to fall into the roaring river below! Stimpy gulps: "That's a heavy feather! I'm lighter than a feather, I'm lighter than a feather! What's lighter than a feather? AIR! Stinky's full of it! That's how you float! (Begins taking huge breaths in) So it stands to reason, the more AIR I have, the lighter, I'll BECOME!"

Inflated like a full balloon, Stimpy crosses across the bridge while "The Blue Danube" plays in the background, bouncing all the while. Stimpy manages to make it all the way across and takes a big breath out!" Spongebob exclaims: "Way to go, Stimpy! You crossed magnificently!" Sandy says: "You sure surprised me! According to the G.P.S., all we have to do is go down this path for five more kilometers, than we're home free!" Treeflower says: "Don't use the metric system, it's REALLY uncool! Besides, it's only THREE more MILES we have to go down this path!" The disguised General Barracuda appears at the edge of the bridge they started across and shouts in echoes: "You're NOT going down ANY path! Surrender to me, or your four friends/team-mates will DIE!!!!" Sandy says: "I'm sorry, but WE don't respond to threats!" General Barracuda screams: "YOU'LL respond to me! I've already taken care of Patrick, and now I'll take care of you!" Patrick suddenly appears climbing up the steep cliff on General Barracuda's side and shouts: "Don't listen to him!" Spongebob says: "Patrick! You're still in one piece! I KNEW you were LYING!" Patrick shouts: "Of course he's lying! He's General Barracud--!" General Barracuda grabs a huge boulder and yells: "I thought I told you to SHUT UP AND DIE!!!!" Norbert yells: "Someone DO something!" And Stimpy says: "Look away, NOW!" And the other Boom Vets turn their heads, and Stimpy coughs up the BIGGEST hairball he possibly can and aims it right at General Barracuda's face! General Barracuda yells: "AHHH!!!! My eyes! I can't see!" Stimpy says: "I hated to have to do that, but it was the only thing I could think of!" Spongebob says: "Norbert, Treeflower, chew the ropes of the bridge OFF! We can't let that maniac get across!" And the two beavers begin biting through the thick ropes like crazy! General Barracuda blindly starts to cross the bridge and yells: "Where are you FOOLS?! I'll KILL you if it's the LAST thing I--!" (SNAP!!!!) But at that moment, Norbert and Treeflower finally chew their way through and as the bridge falls out from underneath him, General Barracuda screams: "DOOO!!!!"

And General Barracuda falls into the raging river below, and gets completely swept away! Reggie says: "Good going, beavers! That was way too close for comfort!" Spongebob says: "We're all right, Patrick! Now what were you going to tell us before that psychopath interrupted? Patrick says: "It doesn't matter now that he's gone. NOBODY could survive a fall like that! But that WAS General Barracuda in disguise! He was trying to destroy all of us!" Sandy says: "That's impossible! General Barracuda is GONE, remember? He was taken away by Jorgen Von Strangle! Nobody in their right MIND would allow HORATIO to get out to try to threaten us again!" Patrick says: "But it is true! It's completely true!" Reggie says: "Just because he was strong, doesn't automatically make him General Barracuda. Now we've got a challenge to win! Are you coming with us or not?" Patrick says: "I can't! Pearl has been captured! And I'm not going back to my trailer without making sure she's safe! I've GOT to find her!" And Patrick finishes climbing and runs back through the jungle! Rocko says: "Poor guy. Something must have really shocked him into making him believe that Sniz and/or Fondue would have EVER allowed General Barracuda to come back into our lives." Spongebob says: "Either that, or something really FISHY is going on around here, and I don't mean a Ling Cod! All I know is that I don't like being chased by this head-hunter, not one little bit!" /

The Network Noobs are continuing to walk through the jungle swamps of Florida. Marlene says: "Skipper, don't you think this challenge might be a little TOO hard even by Nickelodeon game standards?" Skipper scoffs: "HARD?! This walk in the park doesn't even qualify as stimulating, even by Private's standards. Besides, IF you're worried about that Florida head-hunter trying to come back to harm you, I'll show him a really good lesson in penguin retribution!" Marlene, in adoration says: "I'm sure beating him would be nothing for a tough, smart guy like you." Skipper blushes and says: "Well, I got to do what I can to keep my number one love interest handy, namely you." Marlene says: "You name the place, I'll name the day, and we'll make it a date." Skipper says: "Right here?" Marlene says: "Right now!" Skipper says: "Why not? I've vacationed in worse spots, namely Antarctica." (Confessional) Skipper says: "Manfredi and Johnson always warned me that one day love would sneak up on me without warning, just like it did with them. I just never expected it to be an otter who managed to grab a hold on my heart. At least she's a lot more trustworthy than that eagle Sitka, who TRIED to eat my best friend Fred the Squirrel WITHOUT even telling me she was TRYING to eat him. That is a definite relationship-ending in my books!" / Marlene says: "I knew Skipper was just one heart-felt offer away from expecting my proposal of marriage, a romantic honeymoon in Cancun, and all the clams and oysters we could eat! It was just one heart-felt offer away from all of my dreams coming true. Than an ugly reality had to set in." (End Confessional) Gerald says: "Guy's, we've ran out of path and right into a river!" Skipper snaps out of his romanticism and says: "A river? Who's afraid of a little..." Everyone gasps at the length and width of the raging waters right before them. And Skipper finishes saying: "...old river?!" (Confessional)

Marlene says: "Yep. You guessed it, once a challenge presents itself, Skipper's thoughts immediately switch from loving me to proving his bravery in the face of danger. And while I do realize he does live the kind of life where he constantly has to be aware of potential perils and villains, that doesn't mean that he should never just have time for me once in a while. Maybe if I won this game show, maybe that would make Skipper focus his attention on me. Is it wrong for me to wish that he would focus his attention on me? I'm sorry if it is, but this is how I honestly feel." (End Confessional) Haggis McHaggis says: "This is a fine kettle of fish lumped in a steaming pile of Mother McHaggis' home cooked haggis!" Dog asks: "What's haggis?" Haggis says: "Only the most delicious meal known to Scotsman and Mad Max Beyond the Thunder Dome! It's made of hot, steaming, succulent, sweet, roasted lamb's liver, kidney's, intestines, and other various organs stuffed inside its own hot, steaming, succulent, sweet stomach!" Everyone besides Dog and Haggis says: "EWWW!" Dog says: "That sounds GREAT!" (SNAP!) And his leaf clothes pop off, unable to stand the strain of Dog's excitement, and they almost hit Rhonda in the eye. Rhonda says: "OW! What a fine time YOU picked to have a wardrobe malfunction!" Darwin says: "Who care's about those leaves of his? He's a canine, he doesn't need them!" Rhonda says: "Well, I'm not REALLY worried about that, what I'm REALLY worried about is how we're going to get across the river! Where's our BRIDGE?!" Craig says: "Our route doesn't HAVE a bridge, only the Boom Vets did." Gerald says: "And judging by the looks of it, the Boom Vets wanted to make sure WE didn't win, they cut THEIR bridge down, probably after crossing." Haggis says: "Then we have no choice but to go straight across." Rhonda says: "But this isn't even a water ferry here!" Rancid says: "We've got to get across if we all want to win." Rhonda says: "I don't see any stepping stones!" Skipper says: "Which is why we're going to have to swim." Rhonda says: "I don't HAVE to swim! I have a note!" Marlene says: "Afraid of messing up your perfect perm, Rhonda?" Rhonda scowls: "You have NO idea how much time, money, maintenance, and money my hair is worth!" Dog says: "Rhonda, you said 'money' twice." Rhonda screams: "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!!!!" Darwin says: "Sheesh! Could you have yelled a little louder, I think there might have been two people in China who didn't hear you!" Gerald says: "Like Pearl said earlier, cut out the drama, Rhonda." Rhonda says: "Someone like YOU knows how to swim?" Dog says: "Look at me, I happen to be a pro at dog paddling! WHOO!" And just like that, Dog and Gerald jump in the river and start swimming across. Haggis says: "It's EASY, my fair Bonnie." And Haggis and Skipper also jump in and start swimming across. Rhonda says: "I PREFER the DRY look!"

Both Darwin and Rancid ignore her and they start swimming across. Craig says: "If you KNEW how to have fun, you'd realize what a joy this was!" And after Marlene and Craig jump in the river and start swimming across, Rhonda shouts: "I KNOW how to have plenty of fun! I just prefer to do a lot of personal shopping!" And all of the other contestants on the Network Noobs team reach the other side of the river and dry themselves off. Haggis says: "I think my rump roast my papa gave me SHRANK in there!" Rhonda shouts: "GUYS!" They don't reply. Rhonda irritatingly groans: "GUYS?!" Craig says: "Please don't whine like that! If it means THAT much to you, I can come back and swim BESIDE you!" Rhonda says: "Oh don't bother, I'll find my own way across!" And she starts running along the river downstream. Gerald says: "The water just gets WORSE further down! Where are you--WAIT!!" (Confessional) Rhonda says: "I couldn't BELIEVE what they wanted me to do! Just so they could have the pleasure of MY company?" / Craig says: "She just DIDN'T want to get wet. She COULD swim, she CAN!" (End Confessional) As Rhonda runs, she repeats: "She won't! She won't, she won't, she won't!" Then she runs to a spot in the river where a punch of little stones are poking out of the water as she says: "She won't, she won't, she won't, she WON'T!!!!" And she practically sings the last two words. Rhonda says: "THIS is more like it!" (Confessional) Rhonda says: "I'm SO clever, I amaze myself!" / Rancid says: "Jumping rocks, typical GIRL move!" (End Confessional) As Rhonda hops on the stones, she sings: "Girls rule, and boys drool." Haggis asks: "How are you doing, help-me-Rhonda?" Rhonda says: "Barring Beach Boy song references? Never better! Never better--OOH! The water's cold!" Her feet accidentally touched the water as she began to climb up a partially fallen log to get onto the shore with her other team-mates. Marlene says: "That was definitely a good job if I ever saw one!" (SNAP!!!!) And the log completely falls into the river with Rhonda in it! Skipper shouts: "Now why in the world did you have to SAY that?!" Marlene says: "I didn't SAY anything!" (Confessional) Rhonda is dripping, all wet and soggy from head to toe and wails: "I couldn't BELIEVE I fell into a dirty, stinking, raging river full of GERMS! I mean, I just had my face super CLEANED for this game show!" (End Confessional) Darwin says: "Rhonda's in the river, you guys!" Rancid sarcastically says: "NO! Really, do you think?" Gerald says: "Just dive in, someone save her before she falls down the waterfall ahead!" Skipper says: "Forget it! Suicide missions are OUT for penguins whose number one goal in life is to ALWAYS come back alive!" Haggis says: "I may be a long way up the hill of Mount Everest in my life, but I'm not jumping off it without a parachute if you know what I mean!" Dog says: "Well somebody better do something!" Craig suddenly backs up, pauses briefly, and then quickly charges in yelling: "Sacajewea!" And jumps into the water, quickly charging through the raging river with all his might!

Rancid says: "No way! Craig would risk his life to save THAT nobody?" Marlene says: "I'm impressed that HE'S making an effort! I had no idea there was SOME game play in him!" Skipper scoffs and says: "Only SOME!" (Confessional) Skipper says: "I knew what Madame Marlene was trying to do. She was TRYING to compare me to Craig and say that Craig was better than me in some way. She had a plan and was trying to make me jealous, and it is WORKING!!!!" / Marlene says: "I was honestly NOT trying to make Skipper jealous, okay? I was simply surprised because, while I know what to expect from Skipper, I didn't know what to expect from Craig. But now that I'm seeing him in action, I'm reasonably impressed. Of course, if my statements unintentionally cause Skipper to be jealous and prove himself to be better than Craig in order to win my affections, it's only a bonus from my perspective!" (End Confessional) Craig continues his swimming and shouts: "You've got to keep your head above the water, Rhonda!" Rhonda shouts: "I'm trying!" Craig yells: "Swim, Rhonda! Swim hard!" Darwin says: "She's getting too close to the waterfall's edge!" Gerald says: "He's not going to make it!" Haggis says: "He HAS to!" Craig says: "Rhonda, RHONDA!" Rhonda says: "Craig Mammal...TON...!!!!" As she falls over the 90 foot waterfall into a deeper, calmer lake below. Craig barely manages to grab onto a rock and climb on top of it before almost going over himself. Skipper says: "That's it." Rancid says: "She's a goner." Craig says: "Not for long she isn't. Darwin, get me a bunch of jungle vines, stat! (Darwin swings away) Dog, are you good at playing baseball?" Dog says: "I'm the best catcher/pitcher in Nearsburg!" Craig says: "Perfect!" Darwin comes back and says: "I've got 200 feet of jungle vines." Craig says: "Tie one end around me and hold on tightly to the other!" Dog says: "And what do you need me to catch?" Craig says: "Us!" Marlene asks: "What exactly are you planning?" Craig answers: "Something EXTREMELY crazy and dangerous that I have learned after applying everything I've learned watching cartoons and the best blockbuster movies Hollywood has to offer!" (Confessional) Sniz says: "The stunt you are about to see, actually, pretty much EVERYTHING you see on this show; is done by a HIGHLY trained, highly professional, and highly skilled Hollywood personality whose had YEARS of experience doing these kinds of clearly dangerous tricks for kicks and laughs. No matter how cool those tricks look, PLEASE, do NOT try ANY of those tricks at home! Don't say we didn't warn you. Seriously, they can REALLY mess you up!" (End Confessional)

The camera switches to a wide-screen, high definition angle for EXTRA dramatic effect, and in SLOW MOTION, Craig elegantly jumps off the rock, performs a graceful elephant seal dive, and lands in the lake, causing a great big splash! The other Network Noobs look down at the lake, worrying a bit, but in a few seconds, Darwin feels the rope tug back and Craig comes soaring back up through the air with Rhonda in his grasp! The other Network Noobs gasp with admiration, and Craig lands with Rhonda on the safe shore with the other Network Noobs, safe and secure. The camera changes back to its normal, full-screen angle. Rhonda coughs out the water she swallowed and says: "Thank you, for saving me. I thought I was finished!" Craig says: "Nobody's finished as long as I'm here. If I can help it, our team won't lose any more members!" And a large body, covered with river muck and FULL of deep bruises, emerges out of the river, holding onto the vine that's still secured onto Craig Mammalton, and with his altered voice says: "You won't lose any more members, because you are all MINE!" Rancid says: "What does it take to get RID of this guy?!" And General Barracuda, still in his Dark Laser disguise, shoots out a net that bounds and ties Rancid Rabbit completely up! General Barracuda then hauls him into a big backpack and says: "When you've spent as much time in the water as I have, no experience WITH it or IN it can hurt you!" Craig says: "Then you've probably realized that I already untied the vine holding you here." General Barracuda yells: "WHAT vine?!" Craig holds up his untied end of the vine and says: "THIS vine!" And Craig lets go of it and General Barracuda loses his balance in the raging river. General Barracuda says: "You'll NEVER get rid of ME! I will get rid of YOU!" And he falls down the same waterfall that Rhonda fell down! Rhonda says: "Okay, I just want Craig to state for the record that you are NOT going to pull that trick again to try to rescue Rancid, are you, because that would DEFINITELY be suicide!" Haggis says: "For a guy who falls down from high places a lot, he sure is persistent!" Skipper says: "He's stubborn and resilient! I like that in an adversary!" Gerald says: "I don't like adversaries, period! Now lets get this challenge over with before its 2012! I don't want to spend TWO New Years in this jungle!" / Will they be able to get through the jungle safely? I'll definitely finish this up the next time I post!

I have just read that bonus reward points are given to people who allow others to write episodes in their own spin-off topics as long as they are cannon to the story. Well, this is just a little all points bulletin to let readers of my series know that in season two of the "Total Cartoon" series known as "Total Cartoon Action," in addition to the regular episodes that I will write up myself, I'm also planning on having "Performance Review" episodes, where the peanut gallery, made up from the season one characters of "Total Cartoon Island," (AKA: Roger Plotz, Helga G. Pataki, Aang the Avatar, Daggett, Chuckie Finster, Doug Funny, Phoebe Hyerdahl, Bunny, Jimmy Neutron, Patty Mayonnaise, and Angelica Pickles) review the "Performances" of the remaining contestants still in competition with each other, and the one contestant with the lowest performance rating (see the following link to see the performance standings) Link: http://4evergreen.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2iskox and the contestant with the lowest performance rating overall gets voted out of the game to the Loser's Lounge with them. Also, occasional reward episodes (which have no eliminations but can still feature plot) can also be suggested. If anyone wants to have a go at writing an episode for this topic, PLEASE note me first before writing something down, otherwise your story will NOT be canon to my overall arc of the "Total Cartoon" series. And hopefully, SOMETIME soon, I will get back to writing more of the "Total Cartoon Action" season myself! Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! (Even though I'll probably talk with some readers before then!)

At long last, here is the third, and FINAL part of "Welcome 2 the Jungle!" / (Part III) "Welcome 2 the Jungle."
The Boom Vets were running along the last mile of their path in the hope of winning the challenge they had been asked to face. Spongebob asked: "So Reggie, if YOU won the $500,000 at the end of the contest, what would you do with it?" Reggie answers: "Simple. I'd use the money to purchase my own city and make it completely athletic-oriented in order to fit my image of a town filled with citizens who like to live to the extreme!" Rocko adds: "It would probably have to be a small city, though." Reggie asks: "Santa Barbara, California is a small city, right?" Rocko says: "I'd say it's relatively small." Reggie says: "Thank you, Rocko! (Kisses him) You have not only been an excellent navigator keeping us safe on this trail, you're also smart about cities!" Rocko romantically answers: "Thank you!" (Confessional) Rocko says: "The main difference between myself and Reggie versus Blue Arrow and Judy is unlike those two, we know how to pick the appropriate times of where and when to make out. Challenges are out of the question, but that doesn't mean I can't get a little kiss every now and then, and I sure do love it when Reggie kisses me." (End Confessional) Suddenly, Sandy says: "Look at what's in the clearing! The Nickelodeon Studios! This nightmare is almost over!" Treeflower says: "Don't look now, but there's something rustling over in the bushes!" Stimpy says: "We were SO close to winning, to!" The Network Noobs come out of the clearing and Haggis says: "You couldn't be more right!" Gerald adds: "And the time is right for us to win!" And the Network Noobs start running the last few yards toward where Sniz and Fondue are! Treeflower says: "This isn't HAPPENING!" Spongebob says: "Not if we just let it!" Rocko says: "Run for it!" The Boom Vets try like crazy to outpace the Network Noobs, but it's a futile exercise. Fondue finally notices the teams and says: "Looks like we're going to determine a winner soon."

Sniz is busy playing a Nintendo 3DS and says: "It's about time! I was getting bored of playing this advance copy of my Nintendo 3DS the Fairy Godparents wished up for us." The Network Noobs cross into the Nickelodeon Studio lots first and Dog says: "Hi ho diggity! We won!" Sandy says: "I can't believe we lost to these MORONS!" Marlene says: "Your biggest mistake was in thinking we were ALL like Blue Arrow and
Judy Funny." Craig adds, throwing his arms into the air: "But we're not, which is why your arrogance and overconfidence handed you a loss and handed us a win!" Sniz says in a sing-song voice: "Well not, exactly." Craig says: "Beg pardon?" Sniz goes over to Craig and puts his arms down for him, and Sniz says: "The team who comes back with ALL of their team-mates FIRST into the Nickelodeon Studios Lot wins today's challenge. Did I neglect to mention that earlier?" Rhonda groans: "Oh, MAN!!!!" Skipper asks: "Excuse me, but just where are we supposed to FIND our team-mates?" Sniz says: "If you checked your G.P.S. devices once in a while, it would give you a clue!" Haggis checks his G.P.S. and says: "Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire! That little hamster is right! Here at the Nickelodeon Studios, there are a bunch
of red and green dots bunched together, that's us. But at exactly half of a mile directly south of us, there's another bunch of red and green
dots bunched together. That must be our lost team-mates!" Sandy says: "Then this challenge isn't over for us, not by a long shot! The Boom Vets WILL win this challenge yet!" And they start running back south through the jungle. Rhonda says: "Hey, you CAN'T do that! I thought you were going to work WITH us on this challenge!" Skipper says: "That's why you NEVER trust somebody on an opposing team. Sooner or later, they will ALWAYS try to betray you when you least expect it!" / At the bottom of the great lake, a battered, bruised, and very MUDDY General Barracuda emerges, still wearing his Dark Laser mask, and rises from the lake in a slow, angry, and maddened sense of hate, practically boiling his blood-stream with hate and enraged, says in his disguised voice: "Now it's PERSONAL!" /

Patrick is wandering through the jungle calling: "Pearl! Pearl Krabs, where are you?! (BUMP!) Now who puts a--!" Patrick stops, looks up, and sees a relatively small-looking, but well fortified building. Patrick finishes: "Mini-fortress in the middle of a jungle?" (Confessional) Patrick says: "I might not be the smartest sea star in Bikini Bottom, but I can tell when something doesn't look right, if it looks like it shouldn't belong, it's probably holding a secret. And if my hunch is correct, I'm going to find my girlfriend and save her from that awful General Barracuda!" (End Confessional) Patrick says: "General Barracuda is smarter than I gave him credit for. No windows, no ventilation shafts, no chimneys that I can drop into. It looks like the only way to get in or out is through the front door. But what kind of a security system does this place have?" A computer screen suddenly comes to life on the front door of the Mini-fortress, and with Karen's voice says: "Welcome to the Cannibal Headhunter's hideout. Please say the correct password in order to gain entrance." Patrick says: "How about, 'Open Sesame?'" Karen groans: "Correct, you can go in." Karen opens the door and Patrick goes inside, but before he gets too far, he accidentally steps on a tile that is pressurized, and it releases something from behind him. Patrick turns his head around and says: "Gigantic rock!" And Patrick runs away like crazy, trying to get away from the rock, completely oblivious to the fact that he's managing to dodge poison arrows, ancient flamethrowers, shooting spears, falling columns trying to squish him, and snakes trying to bite him! Finally, Patrick leaps over a wide pit, and the giant rock falls into, and gets stuck into the pit, forming a way to walk across it! Patrick says: "I think I broke some records back there!" (Confessional) Patrick says: "I'd like to thank my mom and dad for giving me their unlimited support and never giving up on me, convinced that there was SOMETHING I'd excel in, and athletic skills are my forte. Thank you, mom and dad!" (End Confessional) Patrick says: "Now, to find Pearl and all the captured team-mates. Now, if I were General Barracuda, where would I hide kidnapped contestants?"

And Patrick just picks a random direction, and goes to his left. / The Boom Vets arrive at the Mini-Fortress, and they quickly notice something is off. Stimpy says: "Does something strange strike you about this?" Stinky says: "What do you mean, dad?" Stimpy says: "The front door is already OPEN!" Sandy says: "But we never saw the Boom Vets running in front of us!" Rocko says: "It must be someone else in there. Someone really smart and brave!" Reggie says: "Or someone dumb and foolish!" Norbert says: "But an open door to me signifies only
one thing; it smells like a trap." Treeflower says: "Trap or not, we've GOT to go in there, rescue our team-mates, and win this challenge."
Sandy says: "Treeflower's right! Let's get her done! I don't plan on losing to the Network Noobs a second time!" Spongebob says: "Then lets
go in before the Boom Vets DO catch up to us!" And as they run inside, the Boom Vets run into the clearing and catch sight of them! Craig says: "That's just great! There they go! They're already in!" Marlene asks: "How are we going to win now?" Rhonda says: "I say we stay right here! I've already had enough running for one day!" Dog says: "But we can't just stay here, we have to help our friends!" Darwin says: "But maybe the Boom Vets will face the dangers of the Mini-Fortress and save our friends for us!" Skipper says: "That's exactly what Manfredi and Johnson said right before Professor Blowhole caught them napping outside of one of his secret lairs. Now that deranged dolphin has two penguin slippers monogrammed M & J, and they don't stand for Michael Jackson!" Haggis McHaggis says: "Skipper, you're right. The fight isn't over yet. Just like Slyvester Stallone in "Rocky III and IV," we've got to get the eye of the tiger and a burning heart! We've got to go in there and finish this!" Gerald asks: "Do you EVER run out of song references?" Haggis says: "Not until they run out of good songs to write, I won't!" And the Boom Vets run into the Mini-Fortress as well, failing to notice a creeping, crawling, hulk of a vicious General Barracuda crawling through the jungle reeds.

General Barracuda says in his disguised voice: "My web will soon have you all ensnared! Now is the time for the spider to extinguish its prey!" / The Boom Vets are making a good headway through the Mini-Fortress as there are no more traps left to worry about. Treeflower says: "Some trap THIS is! It looks like somebody practically rolled out the red carpet for us." Sandy says: "I've studied a BUNCH of trap-filled places in movies and other real-life places in this great, big world of ours, and we should've seen traps trying to kill us coming right and left by the truckload by now." Spongebob says: "Somebody must have already activated all the traps and set them off, and when they set off, they didn't reset again!" Norbert says: "But who would be athletic enough to do that?" Rocko chuckles and says: "I'm surprised I didn't think of this earlier, it's Patrick!" Reggie says: "Patrick?!" Rocko says: "Who else could it be? Larry was already captured, Blue Arrow has been nowhere to be seen, and I don't think Darwin has enough know-how of this place to evade all these traps. Patrick is the only one among us who would've tried to deal with a bunch of traps on his own!" Reggie says: "I can't believe Patrick is taking care of the perils of this mini-fortress by himself!" Spongebob says: "You see, Reggie, I KNEW Patrick was going to come in handy!" (Confessional) Rocko says: "Patrick has proved to be a really surprising help to us, and I think the reason that it's catching us all by surprise is because we never really got a chance to see his potential last season. But now that he's catching his stride, Patrick looks like he might make it past the team merge this time around!" (End Confessional) Stimpy says: "Well guys, Patrick may have disarmed the traps, but he didn't leave us a clue. There are four different paths. Which way did he go?" Stinky says: "A better question to ask is, which way WOULD he go?" Then all of a sudden, the Boom Vets hear a bunch of loud voices screaming off in the distance: "HELP! Help us, somebody! Help us!" Stimpy says: "It sounds like Ren, and Lil!" Reggie adds: "Not to mention Otto and all of the other captured team-mates!" Spongebob says: "Sandy, do you think you can use your knowledge to isolate where those screams are coming from?" Sandy says: "You better believe it, honey! (Kisses him!) Let's do this!"

Spongebob romantically says: "All right, Sandy!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "If I won the $500,000 at the end of the contest, I'm make a motion to the guys who make all of the Dictionaries in the world, and make it so that next to the words, romantic, and genius, you'd see Sandy's picture right next to those words! That's the least I can do for all of the things she has done for me!" (End Confessional) / Patrick comes to the end of the corridor he is walking down, to see a large, padded cell-door that has the defenses of the Alcatraz Prison. Patrick says: "I hope she's here! Pearl, are you in there?!" Pearl shouts: "Yes, Patrick! I am in here! And a bunch of other contestants here to! The Cannibal Head-Hunter bound us tight in ropes! You've got to find a way in here!" Patrick says: "Unless you have some dynamite handy, I don't see how I can accomplish that." Rancid Rabbit says: "Oh come ON! Why don't you use your head for once?!" Patrick says: "That's it! I will USE my head!" And Patrick backs up, and runs with his head pointed to the door. Inside, Susie says: "Rancid, I don't think you should've told Patrick to--(CRASH!)--use his head!" Patrick, having busted through the wall, begins to untie Pearl. Patrick says: "I'm so glad I found you Pearl. I never stopped thinking about you!" Pearl begins to hug Patrick and says: "Oh, you're the sweetest thing ever!" Patrick says: "Thank you!" Patrick and Pearl begin to untie the others when the Boom Vets suddenly arrive in the corridor. Sandy says: "What in the world was THAT--(looks at the recently demolished wall Patrick ran through)--noise?" Ren says: "Stimpy, it's YOU! When did you get here?" Stimpy says: "We've only just arrived, Marlon." And as Stimpy unties Ren and Lil, the Network Noobs suddenly arrive in the corridor. Gerald says: "Is this a private party or can anyone join?" Rancid says: "It's NOT a party, we're prisoners here! Now hurry up and get us out!" And as Haggis unties Rancid, Haggis asks: "What about Larry? He's still frozen in the ice statue from the ice beam that was shot at him!" Rhonda says: "Serves him right, I should say! Anyone who wants to argue with our leader has no place in our team!"

Spongebob says: "But he taught me to swim! Please Sandy, I know you don't like him, but can't you do him one TEENY favor, for me?" Sandy
says: "Oh, all right. But you owe me for dinner after this one!" Spongebob says: "Absolutely Sandy!" And Sandy place a well-placed karate
kick on Larry's frozen body, and the ice breaks off of Larry! Larry shivers and says: "Cold! So cold!" Lil says: "Well of course you're cold! You were frozen in ice!" Larry says: "And why am I not frozen now?" Judy says: "Sandy Cheeks." Larry looks at Sandy and Sandy says: "Don't thank me, it was Spongebob's idea." (Confessional) Larry is still shivering from his cold spell and says: "CURSES! To think I would owe my freedom to that yellow idiot! And Sandy didn't want to save me! I'm beginning to hate Sandy more than Spongebob!" (End Confessional) Blue
Arrow says: "That's it! We're all free! Now let's all get out of here!" Then the disguised General Barracuda walks into the corridor and says
with his disguised voice: "Correction, you are now ALL trapped! It was only a matter of time before I won like I ALWAYS do, you stupid FOOLS! And now, I'm going to catch ALL of you in one, fell SWOOP!" (Clicks his net gun, but nothing happens) Stimpy says: "We're not trapped?" General Barracuda yells: "Out of order?! Even in the future, nothing works!" Sandy says: "Looks like Lady Luck is once again on our side!" And everyone on both teams gang up and pound on the disguised General Barracuda like crazy, and when they are sure he has become too weak to follow them for quite some time, they run out of the Mini-Fortress! Otto says: "We are out of there!" Reggie says: "And we've got to run!" Lil asks: "But why?" Stimpy says: "No time to explain, it's to win!" Dog says: "How did those Boom Vets get ahead of us?"
Darwin says: "They must want to win this challenge BADLY!" Larry says: "Well guess what, I do to! After them!" And the two teams begin running for the Nickelodeon Studio Lots again. Fondue spots them and says: "They're coming again!" Sniz finishes drinking a Pina Colada and says: "Really? That went a lot quicker than I thought it would!"

And although both teams try hard, the Boom Vets just BARELY cross into the Nickelodeon Studios Lot with all of their team-mates first! Rocko says: "Yes! We won! Yes, yes, YES!" Larry yells: "NO! We lost to those guys, we LOST!" Sniz says: "And it's over! It's finally all over! Today's winners are the Boom Vets!" Sandy says: "Naturally! Contestants with our experience wouldn't just lose to a bunch of new guys!" Sniz says: "But there's no need to worry, Network Noobs. Since you DID technically enter the Nickelodeon Studios here first, even if it was WITHOUT all your team-mates, you receive the Second place prize!" Craig says: "Which is?" Sniz says: "A TWO team-member swap. Didn't see THAT coming, did you? Haggis McHaggis and Marlene, you're now on the Boom Vets team, Patrick Star and Lil Deville, you're now on the Network Noobs team!" Lil asks: "For how long?" Sniz says: "For the rest of the game! Or, until you're eliminated, whichever comes first!" Darwin says: "What about me? Don't I get a say in this thing?" Sniz says: "All right, I guess we can't forget about you. You will be going on the Network Noobs team to, but to make it fair, it will be AFTER the Network Noobs elimination ceremony, where they will have to eliminate TWO!" And the Network Noobs gasp. Sniz says: "That's right, I said TWO! I'm liking the TWO'S today. It must be TWO'S Day! (Everyone gives him the look) Yeah, we don't get paid much to write the jokes on these shows." (Confessional) Pearl says: "Well, at least one good thing comes out of losing. Patrick and I are FINALLY on the same team!" (End Confessional) (A rousing, jubilant theme plays, as spotlights shine on a Silver Sniz statue.) All of the contestants are now wearing proper clothes, and Sniz is now wearing a fancy bow-tie and says: "Thank you for listening to the Silver Sniz theme. Network Noobs, tonight, there are twelve contestants who will be vying to win a Silver Sniz, and inside the Silver Sniz statue, is a sculpture treat made of the most delicious, sweet Carob goodness known to humans. Tonight, twelve are voting, but only ten will continue on tomorrow when Darwin gets to be in your team."

(Electronic devices pop up in front of the Network Noobs.) Sniz continues saying: "You will be voting by these electronic ballots. Tonight, you will choose the two people you'd most like off your team. Oh, and no peaking, or else its, bye-bye-bye! Vote!" (Electronic sounds are made as the contestants each push two buttons to select their choices.) Sniz says: "All votes have been cast. It's time to reveal the winners. (Fondue walks onstage in humiliation, dressed like Vanna White and hands Sniz a paper with the voting results on it.) Patrick, Lil Deville, Craig Mammalton, Dog, Gerald, Pearl, Skipper, Rancid, surprisingly Larry, and last but not least..." (Dramatic music plays, Rhonda tenses up with nervousness, Judy Funny moves her hand to hold onto one of Blue Arrow's hands for good luck for at least one of them.) Sniz finally says: "Rhonda!" Rhonda says: "Yes!" And she hugs the two closest contestants closest to her, who happen to be Blue Arrow and Judy Funny! When Rhonda realizes this she says: "Oops! I mean, sorry guys!" Blue Arrow and Judy get up out of their seats and Judy says: "But, I thought everyone liked us." Larry says: "Define, liked." (Confessional) Larry says: "I know EXACTLY who is going home today!" And Larry mimics Blue Arrow's and Judy Funny's kissing. / Pearl says: "Four words; Blue Arrow, Judy Funny." / Gerald says: "At least they'll have each other." (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Do the departing contestants have any final words they'd like to share before they drive off in the Limo of Losers?" Blue Arrow and Judy look at each other, and they simply kiss each other and hug as they walk towards the Lame-o-sine. Rancid says: "Gross!" Rhonda says: "No way!" Craig says: "Cutest couple ever!" And Blue Arrow and Judy fall into the open door of the Limo. It closes, and drives off into the night. Sniz says: "Darwin, you may now join the Network Noobs." And Darwin goes with the Network Noobs, eager to discuss long term game plans with them.

Sniz says: "The rest of you are safe, for tonight. As for you out there in TV world, I think this has definitely been one tough challenge! How will we TOP this?! How will the two team member swap affect the two teams? Will Patrick Star and Lil Deville PROVE to be valuable members to the Network Noobs? One thing's for sure, answers to these questions and many more await on the next episode of Total Cartoon Action! Sniz out!" / Episode Notes: Blue Arrow and Judy Funny are eliminated in the first double elimination of "Total Cartoon Action," the 1st officially sanctioned team swap in "Total Cartoon" history occurs when Patrick Star and Lil Deville switch places with Haggis McHaggis and Marlene. Darwin joins the Network Noobs. Patrick finds out that General Barracuda is back in his life and the lives of his fellow contestants, but nobody else believes him, yet. Karen has a cameo appearance in this episode. / Episode quotes: Look above! I hope you enjoy reading this episode as much as I did writing it!

I'm ready to present part of my next episode for fans and potential fans of my spin-off series of "Total Cartoon Action!" I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! /
"I'm Ready for My Close-Up!" Sniz is in a control room with a bunch of TV monitors and he says: "Last time on Total Cartoon Action, two teams, each with 12 contestants, found themselves stranded right in the middle of the most excruciating challenge of their lives. It was EPIC! Ren Hoek freaked out, causing Stimpy to do the unthinkable as Stimpy DECKED Ren square in the face, POW! General Barracuda disguised himself as a cannibal head-hunter and hunted down the contestants in order to capture them, which he did VERY well! The Boom Vets went over the bridge, while the Network Noobs went through the river, but what EVERYONE was surprised about was the great skills Patrick was displaying in physical strength, speed, and agility. Patrick also found out the secret identity of General Barracuda and tried to warn his friends about it, but nobody else believed him, OUCH! Craig Mammalton also impressed his team-mates when he made a heroic stunt to save Rhonda from an untimely demise. In the end however, the Boom Vets managed to barely beat the Network Noobs.

But what neither team expected was the occurrence of a two member team swap between both teams, SHOCK! Marlene and Haggis McHaggis were transferred to the Boom Vets, while Patrick and Lil Deville were transferred to the Network Noobs. And if the two member team swap wasn't painful enough for the Network Noobs, they were forced to vote off two of their own, making the two make-out lovebird team of Blue Arrow and Judy Funny facing a humiliating ride on the Limo of Losers. The only thing that eased the pain the Network Noobs had was the addition of a new contestant; namely, Darwin from The Wild Thornberries. Will Darwin prove to be a good addition to the Network Noobs? How will Patrick, Marlene, Haggis, and Lil fare now that they're on an opposite team? And what kind of evil treachery does General Barracuda have in store for our contestants today? Find out on an all new episode of Total Cartoon Action!" / It's early morning, the sky is just beginning to light up, and all the contestants are still asleep in their trailers. Than Sniz drives in his Aston Martin and blows an air-horn through a megaphone, effectively ending their sleep!

Sniz says: "Sleep time is over for the crew, its time to come outside! Call time is 6 A.M.! That is all!" (Confessional) Patrick and Craig Mammalton are in the make-up trailer together. Craig says: "At first, I though Sniz was talking to the Fairy Godparent crew, and not us." Patrick says: "You know, I was really hoping this season, they'd replace Sniz the Snob with a nicer host this time around. Is that a mean thing to say?" Craig says: "I'd say that it's a fairly mean thing to say." Patrick says: "I'm sorry." (End Confessional) All of the contestants are properly dressed up as they wearily walk out of their contestant trailers. Susie says: "I can't believe I'm doing another season of THIS show!" And Treeflower comes out last, happily hopping after having gotten a full, good night's sleep. Marlene asks: "And just what do YOU have to be so cheerful about?" Treeflower says: "Oh, merely the fact that the Boom Vets are on a winning streak!"

Haggis says: "And how do you figure that?" Treeflower says: "Oh, merely the fact that MY team won two challenges in a row, we have ALL of our team-mates still here, and with the fact that MY team has one WHOLE season of experience more than YOUR old team does, one of us, namely ME, will be winning at the end of this season, especially since I would've certainly won LAST season if that stinking Jimmy Neutron didn't rig the votes to cheat ME off, but since he's not here, I WON'T have to worry about getting eliminated while YOU do, and another thing I think is worth mentioning is that since I was an ACTUAL C.I.T.--." Marlene interrupts: "HAGGIS!!!!" Haggis says: "What?!" Marlene says: "We need to have a discussion somewhere...PRIVATE!!!!" (Confessional) Marlene and Haggis McHaggis are in the Make-up trailer together. Marlene says: "That beaver is SO annoying! All she ever does is TALK!!!! Who could STAND to be anywhere NEAR someone like that?!" Haggis says: "Apparently, Norbert can." Marlene says: "Well I can't! That little, former, actual Counselor in Training thinks she's better than everybody else, and she's NOT!" Haggis says: "Well, you'll have to get used to it if you want to be seen as a good team-mate on the Boom Vets team that we're on." Marlene says: "I don't WANT to get used to it! Out of all the creatures I have EVER met, that beaver named Treeflower Fields, I can't STAND her!" /

Treeflower says: "The only reason Marlene is upset with me is because she's jealous of me. And who wouldn't be? I'm pretty, popular, smart, talented, and I have a very attractive boyfriend. (Confession tape fast-forwards.) Marlene's just angry because HER boyfriend is a penguin, and he's stuck on the other team. (Tape fast-forwards again) Who has a nemesis named Dr. Blowhole anyways? And black and white is SO out!" (End Confessional) All of the contestants are now gathered outside of their cast trailers. Sniz says: "Okay contestants! It's time you found out what working in an actual movie is all about! Now, while some of you might have actually APPEARED in real Nickelodeon movies, you've never had to work behind the scenes, with the people who do the REAL hard work! People like construction builders, camera operators, make-up artists, and much more! For those working people, there is no glamour, only guts and glory!" Rocko says: "It's the glory of love that makes this hard work worthwhile!"

Sniz says: "In any case, today's challenge is all about setting up a scene for an actor or actress to act in, including getting the right lights, make-up, props, cameras, and other tools necessary in order to film your own little short scene that might be seen in an actual movie. Today's challenge is two-fold. First, both teams must haul identical pieces of equipment up this tall hill to where the sets are located. Your equipment has been color coded to reflect which team needs to haul it, red for the Network Noobs, green for the Boom Vets." Otto says: "Personally, I prefer MY green in money!" Sniz says: "Both teams must haul ALL of their equipment AND their contestant trailers up the hill before we can begin the second portion of the challenge. In the second portion, contestants shall set up and prepare whatever may be necessary for the random scene we will be asking you to act out. After you set the scene up, the chosen actor or actress of your choice will perform the random scene. Now, here's the twist! All contestants will NOT be allowed to both haul up the equipment and set up the scenes. To that end, two contestants on opposite teams have been selected." Skipper says: "Selected for what, exactly?"

Sniz says: "Selecting WHO has to haul the equipment up, and WHO has to set the scene up, exactly! And you're in LUCK, Skipper! You have been selected for YOUR Network Noobs team, and Marlene has been selected for HER Boom Vets team! This is going to be AWESOME!" Skipper says: "Marlene, we're not going to get all competitive and nasty, are we?" Marlene says: "Absolutely not. We've learned from past mistakes other people have made. Right?" Sniz says: "You will pick five people, including yourself, to haul up the equipment!" Rhonda says: "Excuse me, but how long is THAT going to take?" Fondue says: "I don't know. About four or five hours, if you do the first portion of the challenge right." Sniz says: "Don't worry yourselves, the sooner you're done with the first portion of the challenge, the sooner you can rest. Marlene, Skipper, whoever you DON'T name, will automatically be selected to help set up the scene. To be fair, the decision-making will be done in the fashion of school yard team choosing, boy-girl and girl-boy. Ladies first! Since we have no ladies here, Marlene!" And Marlene scowls angrily. Marlene says: "I don't know, Norbert, I guess." And Skipper gasps in shock!
(Confessional) Skipper says: "I can't believe that Marlene would just go ahead and pick Norbert like that! I mean, they're BOTH kind of similar! They're both mammals, they both have tails, they're both aquatic, they both have whiskers, and they have similar kinds of taste! I mean, what am I supposed to MAKE of that?! You think you KNOW an otter!" (End Confessional)

Skipper says: "I pick, the BEAUTIFUL Rhonda!" And Marlene gives Skipper a weird-funny look. (Confessional) Marlene says: "The BEAUTIFUL Rhonda? What, was Skipper TRYING to tick me off by picking Rhonda like that? You think you KNOW a penguin!" (End Confessional) Marlene says: "Because I believe in being cool, I pick Reggie Rocket!" Reggie says: "Yes! I knew I was respected!" Skipper says: "I pick, Larry!" Marlene says: "Oh, SURE! Pick all the GOOD looking contestants; that will get you far!" Skipper says: "It will in show business!" Marlene says: "Otto." Skipper says: "Pearl." Marlene looks at her remaining female choices and is about to say something until Haggis whispers into her ear. Haggis says: "Listen, Marlene. I know you can't stand HER, but it might be a good idea to keep her close to you, so you can get to know her!" Marlene says: "You're NOT serious?!" Haggis nods his head. Marlene says: "Fine! I pick Treeflower!" Treeflower says: "Really?!" (Confessional) Treeflower says: "Of course! It's about TIME somebody realized who the most valuable contestant IS on the Boom Vets team! I mean, SERIOUSLY people!" (End Confessional)

Skipper is looking at his remaining male choices, particularly, Patrick and Dog. (Confessional) Skipper says: "How do you choose between flakier and flakiest? I mean, at LEAST Patrick was actually IN this game show LAST season! That's got to count for something! I don't know; I had to pick SOMEONE!" (End Confessional) Skipper says: "I pick, Patrick!" Patrick says: "Finally! Another chance to prove my worth as a contestant!" Stimpy says: "Marlene, aren't you forgetting to pick someone important? I mean, who survived going into a black hole? Who invented a Happy Helmet to help people become happy? Who gave birth to his own son? And--." Marlene says: "I pick Stimpy, if for no other reason but to shut him up." Stimpy says: "A wise choice, milady." Marlene says: "You're only the contestant who actually WON the game show last season!" Stimpy says: "Still." Patrick says: "I've got an idea! Why don't you pick Chuckie?!" Lil says: "Chuckie's not in the game anymore!" Patrick says: "Oh, right! Bummer." Skipper says: "Since I might need Lil to be an actress for the random scene, I pick Rancid!" Rancid says: "Sweet! I got picked and YOU didn't, Gerald! Jealous, much?"

Gerald says: "Please! Like I would EVER be jealous of you and your lousy attitude!" Larry says: "Bet you're jealous of ME, though. Not that I would blame you, I'm HIGHLY attractive!" Gerald says: "No, I'm NOT jealous of you, either! The ways that you and Rancid are behaving, neither of you are shaping up to be good candidates for winning the $500,000!" Rancid says: "Ouch! Well, Larry, how does it feel to be burned?" Larry menacingly says: "I wouldn't know; I haven't been BURNED yet!" (Confessional) Rancid says: "Larry isn't fooling me! I'm VERY perceptive and I can tell if and/or when someone is getting under someone's skin or exoskeleton as the case may be. Gerald CLEARLY is steaming Larry's last nerves, but Gerald will NEVER be able to steam me!" / Larry says: "Make no mistake, I'm making a very clear, mental list of all the contestants that either try to double-cross me or other-wise severely threaten MY chances of eventually winning MY $500,000! I've already gotten RID of two threats on my list, and with the way things are going, Rancid and Gerald may soon find themselves on the chopping block if they DON'T shape up to MY desires soon!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right! All equipment haulers have been selected. Set builders; please hike up the hill to wait for your portion of the challenge to begin."

Lil says: "Good-bye, Stimpy! I miss you already!" Stimpy says: "Don't worry! Before both of us know it, Stinky and I will make it to the team merge, you'll be there, and we'll be together again just like we were BEFORE the swap!" Lil says: "Cool! I'll be sure to wait for you!" And the set builders, picked by default, begin their hike up the hill. Stinky says: "You're so smooth, dad." Stimpy says: "Lil may be slightly nuts, but she's COMPLETELY nuts over me!" Stinky says: "Obviously!" / A little later, Sniz says: "Okay, equipment haulers. Let's get this challenge started! I'd like to the first portion finished BEFORE we have to break for lunch! Is everybody ready? Lights, camera, ACTION!" And the contestants who are equipment haulers begin to take their various pieces of film equipment, make-up, and various movie tools up the hill as fast as they can. Norbert is running up the hill with a stage light until he accidentally trips over a rock! Thankfully, Marlene happens to be right behind, close to him! Marlene says: "Oh; that must have hurt! Are you all right?" Norbert says: "Of course I'm all right! I've suffered worse injuries that didn't damage my gorgeousness!" Skipper is running up the hill, until he sees Marlene with Norbert. Skipper stops and says: "Why are you helping him?" Marlene says: "Because we're on the same team?" Skipper gets miffed, runs up the hill a little, than PRETENDS to lose his balance by stepping over a log. Rhonda happens to be running up the hill and helps Skipper up off of the ground. Skipper says: "Likewise, WE'RE on the same team!" And Marlene scowls at him in an annoyed manner. /

The two teams are neck to neck as they haul up the equipment up the hill. Haggis, waiting for the equipment haulers to finish the first portion of the challenge, begins to strike up a conversation with his NEW team-mates on the Boom Vets team. Haggis says: "Are you laddies and non-laddies worried about any of the contestants on my old team?" Rocko says: "Well, Larry looks VERY determined to win; Gerald seems to be in it for the long haul. But other than those two, I don't see any season two contestants besides you and Marlene making it to the team merge." Haggis says: "Than maybe it was a real blessing that this team merge happened." Sandy says: "Why do you say that?" Haggis says: "Because all of you have more competition experience, while I have more acting experience. And now that I'm on a team that's more likely to win challenges, I can play to my full potential and really help you out!" Spongebob says: "Do you really think you can help us beat off some of the more determined members of your old team?" Haggis says: "Of course, Spongeboy!" Susie corrects him: "Spongebob!" Haggis says: "Whatever! The point is; I'll take the team I'm on ALL the way to the team merge!"

(Confessional) Rocko says: "I didn't know that our two teams would have to swap out two members of our own team to the other team. So I guess we really got lucky that we got Marlene and Haggis in exchange for Patrick and Lil. Although I'm pretty sure it's got to be a hard adjustment for Stimpy, with his girlfriend on the other team, it might be hard for him to play to his full potential if he doesn't want to risk having Lil eliminated. And while I certainly won't blame him for feeling that, but the rest of us have an end game to think about to. If worse comes to worse, I don't want to vote Stimpy off." (End Confessional) The equipment haulers on the two teams continue to haul equipment up the hill. Marlene is pulling a shopping cart up the hill, and is almost to the top, but the shopping cart hits a stick, and Marlene loses her grip as the shopping cart rolls all the way back to the bottom! Marlene says: "This is CRAZY inefficient, Vets! I say we simply organize in relay fashion and pass the equipment up!" Treeflower says: "Excuse me, but did YOU face any of MY challenges in season one; were YOU actually in season one?" Marlene says: "No." Treeflower says: "Than if YOU say it, we're not doing it!"

Marlene protests: "But it's a good plan!" Stimpy says: "I hear you, Marlene. You make a good point. I've got an idea. How about we establish team meetings between challenges, and if there are any ideas you have on how to win future challenges, if you bring them up, I'll second your motions!" Marlene says: "Oh, go jump in a lake, trout lips!" (Confessional) Stimpy and Stinky are in the Make-up trailer, and Stimpy is looking in a standing, face mirror. Stimpy says: "Stinky, take a good look at my lips! Do MY lips even LOOK like trout lips?!" Stinky says: "I should say not!" Stimpy says: "Than how can Marlene say something about me that isn't a fact?! I'm trying to help her!" Stinky says: "Dad, maybe she's just nervous and tense about being on a different team. Just give her time; I'm sure she'll come around." Stimpy says: "I'm sure you're right! After all, I haven't met ANYTHING yet that could stay mad at ME for a prolonged period of time!" (End Confessional) The equipment haulers have now finished hauling all of their equipment up the hill, everything except their contestant trailers. Otto says: "This is going to be a toughie!" Marlene says: "Well why don't you ask the C.I.T. for some ideas? Surely SHE knows what we should do in a situation like this!" Treeflower says: "Now what would give you THAT idea?! We're doing ACTING challenges this season, not CAMPING challenges this season! Acting has nothing to do with being a C.I.T.!"

Marlene says: "Than stop acting all high and mighty all the time!" Reggie says: "Cool it guys. Let's just figure out a way to get our trailers up the hill before the Network Noobs do." Norbert says: "Does anyone have a solution they'd like to toss out? I certainly don't." Stimpy says: "I do! Otto, do you happen to wear a belt around your shorts?" Otto says: "As a matter of fact, I do. Why do you ask?" Stimpy says: "I need to know something. Is your belt strong?" Otto says: "It's supported me through thick and thin in eight years of surfing, skiing, skateboarding, rock-climbing, ice hockey, and rollerblading in over 500 challenges and it has NEVER let me down, once!" Stimpy says: "Perfect! Take off your belt and make a tight loop around the grounding hook of the trailers!" Norbert asks: "What's your plan?" Stimpy says: "The belt will be securely fastened to the trailers, Otto and I can pull the ends of the belt up the hill, and when we pull the belt, we'll pull the trailers up as well!" Marlene says: "Why Stimpy, that's actually a BRILLIANT idea!" Stimpy says: "I'm a lot smarter than the way I acted on my show!" Reggie says: "I can see that, now!" Otto says: "All right, then! Let's do this!"

Otto unfastens his belt, hooks it around the grounding hooks of the trailer, and makes sure the grip the belt has is tight before giving part of the belt to Stimpy, keeping a hold on the belt himself as well! Reggie says: "Let's win this challenge!" Stimpy and Otto, holding onto Otto's belt that's holding onto their trailers, begin to run up the hill as fast as they can. Sniz says: "It looks like the Boom Vets are starting to make a lead for themselves in this hotly contested race!" Treeflower says: "Otto, you've got what people in the show business would like to call a wardrobe malfunction!" Otto looks down and sees that without his belt to hold his shorts up; they have fallen down around his ankles, revealing his tighty-whities. Otto groans: "Oh, man!" Fondue says: "And it looks like Otto is a little hot under the collar, a little humiliated from his unintended side-show, I should say!" Reggie says: "Ignore the shorts, deal with it AFTER we get up the hill!" Marlene looks back at Skipper and says: "Hey, Skipper! How does it feel to be in last place; you tuxedoed, super-agent, secret spy, James Bond wannabe?!" Rancid says: "Not cool, dude. Not cool." Skipper says: "Don't worry! We're taking MARLENE--I mean, THAT team, down!" Pearl asks: "But how?" Patrick says: "I've got it! Let's get Chuckie to do it!" The other equipment haulers on his team shout: "He's not HERE anymore!" Patrick says: "Oh, right. Bummer."

Rhonda says: "Say, Patrick. You've wanted to show off your strength, now you've got good motivation to! With your strong muscles, you could easily push OUR trailers all the way up the hill in no time flat!" Patrick says: "But I don't think that's a good idea!" Rancid asks: "Why ever not?" Patrick says: "I might be strong, but what if I trip and I accidentally lose control of the trailers? What if the trailers accidentally hit you guys, making you injured, or worse?" Larry says: "You're joking, right?" Patrick says: "I wouldn't joke about something serious, like that! I just couldn't bear to live with myself if I unintentionally brought harm to any of my fellow team-mates." Pearl says: "And quite frankly, I'm with you Patrick! You're a man with good principles and a good head on your shoulders!" Rancid says: "And that's the ONLY thing that's good on his shoulders!" Pearl says: "Don't make me hit you!" And Rancid quickly, metaphorically and literally makes a zipping motion across his lips, indicating that he was shutting up! (Confessional) Pearl says: "I'm not going to stand for ANYBODY who tries to give Patrick any guff about what he does or doesn't want to do! If he's concerned about our safety, than I'm going to side with him on it! I just got him to be on MY team, and I'm not going to lose him now!" (End Confessional) Larry says: "I'd push the trailers up the hill, but my claw-modeling contract specifically prohibits me from doing anything that could damage my exoskeleton. Sorry."

Rhonda says: "You see, Patrick?! We're counting on you! We'll stand out of your way. We won't be anywhere NEAR the trailers!" Patrick says: "I'll say it again, Rhonda, the answer is NO!" Sniz says: "Ooh, friction on the Network Noobs team! What's going to happen now? Is Patrick just going to let the Boom Vets haul away another victory, or will he man up and be the hero for his team? Find out when we come back from a commercial break with more Total Cartoon Action!" Patrick says: "Trust me; I'm NOT going to do it!" (Commercial break) / I'll write some more the next time I post here! 4EverGreen out, for now!

Here's the second part of my most recent episode. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! / (Part II) "I'm Ready For My Close-Up!" / After the commercial break, the camera shows Otto and Stimpy STILL struggling to get their contestant trailers up the hill. Otto is both trying to hold onto his belt which is still fastened to the trailers, as well as trying to pull his shirt down over his underwear, since his shorts are still around his ankles! Otto asks: "Stimpy, are we THERE yet?!" Stimpy, not quite as exhausted as Otto is, says: "Not quite." Marlene is jumping up and shouting behind them, acting as a cheerleader. Marlene cheers: "Stimpy, Otto, they're our guys! If they can't do it...uh...uh... they're...they're not our guys!" Meanwhile, the Network Noobs are still at the bottom of the hill, still trying to persuade Patrick to take THEIR contestant trailers up the hill for them! Pearl says: "I'm telling you that Patrick doesn't WANT to risk our safety in such a dangerous operation! We could ALL work together!" Rhonda says: "And I'm telling you that our strength wouldn't make a difference. Patrick is the only guy besides Larry who can move those trailers, and Larry can't do that!" Rancid says: "Do you mean that he CAN'T, or he WON'T?!" Larry threateningly says: "Don't make me cut your tail off with my claws!"

And Rancid once again literally and metaphorically makes a zipping motion across his lips, to indicate that he was shutting up again! The set builders, are still sitting around for the equipment haulers to bring their trailers up. Sandy asks: "Spongebob, what is the deal with the Bikini Bottom Triangle?" Spongebob says: "Oh, it was just a group of mermaids that used their magical singing powers in order to get new stuff. They stopped and returned everything once they found out from Pearl that a mall is ALWAYS stocked with new stuff!" Sandy says: "Wow! I didn't know that Pearl could be useful for something!" Spongebob strangely asks: "You DIDN'T?!" (Confessional) Spongebob says: "I once thought I knew everything there was to know about everybody living in and around Bikini Bottom, and that Sandy did to. But now I find out that Sandy Cheeks has actually admitted to me that she DOESN'T know everything about everybody living in Bikini Bottom, and that was something I DIDN'T know about her! Still, she IS a lot smarter and prettier than any girl I've ever met before." (End Confessional) Susie says: "Look, there's Stimpy and Otto with our trailers at last!"

Otto says: "Finally! I got tired of pulling these two-ton behemoths!" And Stimpy and Otto, having finally managed to get their contestant trailers on firm, level ground, drop down with exhaustion from all their hard work. Sniz says: "And the first portion of the challenge is over! Victory goes to the Boom Vets, who get the distinct advantage of being able to use ANY props they can find in their contestant trailers, to help them set up the scene for their random acting challenge! Equipment Haulers, your work for today is done!" Fondue calls: "Union break! Time for lunch!" Reggie says: "Right on! I could go for some rocking snacks right now!" (Confessional) Rocko and Reggie are in the Make-Up trailer together, both eating the same foot-long meatball sub sandwich from opposite ends. Rocko says: "You know, being a contestant and an actor may have some hard drawbacks, but it also has some rich rewards." Reggie says: "For one thing, Fondue's cooking seems to be a LOT better this season! This actually tastes like food!" Rocko says: "I guess Fondue finally decided that he needed to update his cook-book." Their mouths both reach out to take a bite, but their lips accidentally touch in the middle, in an unintended, but romantic kiss! Reggie pulls back and blushes: "I, totally didn't intend for THAT Lady and the Tramp moment to happen!" Rocko notices a meatball from their sandwich that has fallen onto a plate, and using his nose, he pushes it towards Reggie. Rocko says: "Have the last meatball, from me, to you." Reggie says: "Oh Rocko, you're the sweetest thing ever!" (End Confessional)

The Network Noobs are now all at the top of the hill, all irritated that the Boom Vets have a clear advantage over them in the random acting scene. Dog says: "You know, Skipper, if you would've picked me, those contestant trailers would be up this hill and I would be one step closer to winning enough money to spend my life free from my brother Cat forever! This, is all your fault!" Skipper says: "Don't blame me, blame the sea star! If it wasn't for Mr. I'm-So-Concerned-About-the-Safety-of-Others, we could just be sitting around, complaining about having nothing to do!" Rhonda says: "That's not the worst part of it! We could've USED what we had in our contestant trailers! Without them, we're at a major disadvantage! This could spell disaster for us! Thanks a lot, Patrick!" And Patrick sighs his head in shame. (Confessional) Craig Mammalton says: "I feel badly for Patrick, I truly do. I want him to do well in this competition. He has a girlfriend he wants to impress, and I would like him to be able to impress her. But ultimately, Patrick has to make it happen for himself. Nobody can truly help Patrick do it for him unless Patrick is willing to put some effort into it, and stop being moody. I learned a long time ago that if you go around feeling sorry for yourself, you do it alone, and I DO mean alone!" / Patrick says: "Why is it that almost every time I try to do something good for others, it almost always ends up blowing up in my face?! I wish I knew the answer to THAT question!"

(End Confessional) Sniz says: "Okay, break-time's over! It's time to get back to the challenge! Network Noobs, since Patrick didn't even attempt to help push your contestant trailers up the hill, he shall be punished to help the set builders build and design the set for your random scene. Now, I will TELL you the scenes that will be given to the two teams, but I WON'T tell you which team will be acting them out, yet!" (Confessional) Sandy says: "That's just SO typical of Sniz! He always has to leave us dangling with information that he won't completely divulge to us!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Here's a scene, a kindly, elderly old woman, is near the end of her life. She is expressing her memoirs, reminiscing about the innocent days of her young and full life. Here's another scene, an over-the-hill boxer is being threatened with the prospect of being retired, but he can't resist the glory of just one last, honest fight, instead of throwing it just to win more money." Ren says: "Stimpy, do you think I have a shot of getting that coveted boxing role?" Stimpy says: "Honestly Marlon, I would have to say no." Ren says: "But why?" Stimpy says: "We need a strong guy, you can't play one." Ren says: "What if I try really hard?" Susie says: "Could you guys keep it down? We're trying to set up our scene." Ren says: "It's because I have Asthma, isn't it?"

Stimpy says: "Having Asthma doesn't make you weak." Stinky adds: "Nor does being a Chihuahua make you weak, either." Treeflower says: "No, but it sure HELPS!" Marlene says: "Oh, stop talking as if you KNOW everything!" Treeflower says: "It's not MY fault that I DO know everything!" Marlene says: "You so do NOT!!!!" (Confessional) Marlene says: "I said it before and I'll say it again! That Treeflower Fields, I can't STAND HER!" / Ren says: "I can't believe that nobody thinks of me as strong. I mean, sure I'm a little thin, but to hear that comment from Treeflower? She treats me as though I wasn't even alive! Even Stimpy doesn't think of me as a strong guy anymore. I need to ask someone for advice." (End Confessional) While the two teams are designing their sets, Ren steps aside in order to get close to Lil. Ren asks: "Lil, can I talk to you briefly?" Lil asks: "You want to talk about briefs?!" Ren says: "No! I need to ask you a question about Stimpy!" Lil says: "Sure! Anything you want to know, I can tell you!" Ren says: "Okay. The thing of it is, Stimpy used to think the world of me. He admired me, he once thought of me as being strong. Now, ever since Stinky came into Stimpy's life, he's beginning to see everything as it really is. He doesn't think of me as being strong anymore. I'm not even sure if he trusts me anymore, especially not after the way I freaked out yesterday."

Lil says: "You know, it's not that Stimpy doesn't trust YOU, I don't think that he trusts MARLON!" Ren asks: "He doesn't?!" Lil says: "Think about it. He hit MARLON Hoek yesterday, not Ren Hoek. If you were Ren Hoek again, Stimpy would trust you again! He would be your friend again! He might even think of you as being strong again!" Ren says: "I'm not even sure which personality I'm going to be tomorrow. I wish I had an idea." Lil says: "Maybe I can help! Marlon, why don't you give me YOUR name?" Ren says: "What good would that do?" Lil says: "If I have YOUR name, I'll have YOUR personality! And without MARLON, you'd go back to being Ren Hoek again!" Ren says: "You know, Lil that actually makes sense! All right, YOU'RE Marlon Hoek now!" Lil says: "Excellent! One of the rules of show business is that sometimes, you need to change your name!" Ren says: "You can HAVE that name! I'm glad to be REN Hoek again! Maybe you're not as crazy as everyone thinks you are!" And Lil burps a loud burp! Lil says: "Me like beans!" And Ren gives Lil a weird look. (Confessional) Ren says: "How would I describe Lil? Let me put it this way; if personalities grew on trees, she'd be an entire forest of EVERY single tree in existence! Still, at least now I know why Stimpy loves her, they WERE made for each other!" (End Confessional)

The scene builders on the Boom Vets continue to design their scene. Marlene, unable to help out physically, shouts out suggestions instead. Marlene says: "Sandy, that light is too low! Raise it up higher to match the others! Rocko, switch that 4X3 camera out for the 16X9 camera! We want this filming to look as professional as possible!" Susie, carrying some more lights connected to high-duty ropes for hanging up on the make-shift rafters, says: "Relax, Marlene. We ALL know that we have a job to do!" Susie than leaves to get the lights set up for raising, unaware that one of the ropes has formed a circle trail around Marlene's left foot. Marlene says: "I know you all have jobs to do, I just want to make sure you do them all correctly!" And Spongebob begins to pull on ropes in order to raise the lights up to the rafters, unaware that one of those ropes has grabbed a hold on Marlene's left foot, and pulls her up into the sky! Marlene says: "Hey! What's going on here?! Treeflower, somehow I KNOW you are responsible for this!" Stimpy says: "Hold on, Marlene. I'll help you down." And Stimpy gently holds on the rope until Marlene gets back onto firm ground, and Stimpy unties the loop around Marlene's left foot. Marlene says: "Thank you, Stimpy. But why are you helping me? I WAS a Network Noob!" Stimpy says: "My mom always told me that I should be courteous to ladies and help them out if they need it." Marlene says: "So I can count on you for support during this entire game?" Stinky says: "You can always count on my dad to stay true to his word, through thick and thin!"

Stimpy says: "Anything to help milady." (Confessional) Marlene says: "As potentially annoying as hanging out with Stimpy could be, his eagerness to help me WILL make for an easy-to-persuade cat that I can count on to help keep me safe during eliminations. And right now, milady needs all the help she can get!" / Stimpy says: "I respect women and their willingness to be able to want to do a lot of things for themselves." Stinky adds: "They deserve that right." Stimpy says: "You're absolutely right, son. And while my love will always be for Lil Deville, since she's on the other team now, trying to make time to spend together with her is just not practical. So until the team merge happens, I'll have to focus my attentions elsewhere for the time being." (End Confessional) Sniz says: "Hey Fondue, do you want us to spring the surprise on them NOW?" Fondue says: "I've been WAITING to do this! Attention, contestants! It's time you learned who will be judging the acting challenge! It will NOT be Sniz or even myself doing the judging!"

Sniz adds: "Instead, you're going to have to impress a magically restrained, General Barracuda!" And General Barracuda is poofed into view by Jorgen Von Strangle, with magical chains connecting his arms together, to prevent him from punching anyone! Lil says: "You see, Patrick? Sandy was right! General Barracuda is still under lock and key thanks to Jorgen Von Strangle!" And Patrick gives an angry-looking General Barracuda a suspicious look. (Confessional) Patrick says: "Oh, Sniz and Fondue ARE good alright! I might be slow with my mental faculties, but it is clear even to someone like myself that Sniz and Fondue have made SOME kind of deal with General Barracuda, in order to boost THEIR ratings and make OUR lives as contestants more miserable! I'm keeping my eyes on that evil fish!" (End Confessional) Norbert asks: "And just HOW are we supposed to perform for this mastermind of bullying and intimidation?" Sniz says: "Simple! Whichever actor or actress on either team gets General Barracuda to show ANY emotion other than anger, will win today's challenge for their team!" And General Barracuda scowls angrily at ALL the contestants! / I'll stop writing here and post the rest another time. 4EverGreen out, for now!

Just some advice: Stop with the walls of text. Skip lines in between characters' dialogue. It makes it easier to follow, and much easier on the eyes.

Here is the third and FINAL part of my most recent episode of "Total Cartoon Action" called, "I'm Ready For My Close-Up!" / The Network Noobs are discussing their candidates for one of the two acting scenes. Darwin asks: "If we get placed with the boxing scene, I wonder who should have the honor of being the boxer?" General Barracuda says: "Don't expect PATRICK to do anything tough or strong to help HIS team out!" Patrick says: "Now how can you say such HORRIBLE things like that?!" And Patrick begins to suck his thumb like a baby. (Confessional) Darwin says: "Okay, I'm slightly new here, but even I can see when someone is just a no-good, lying, scheming, back-stabbing, raging, bullying psychopath, and that HAS to be General Barracuda!" (End Confessional) Gerald says: "Don't worry about HIM, Patrick, I could be a boxer! I've got some mean athletic skills that can knock him out!"

Lil says: "Please, Sniz, Fondue! For the old lady scene, pick me! It's got to be me! I can be excellent at acting like an old lady! I'm only 16, but there's an old lady within my body! In fact, I have a very old soul! In fact, I'm the very reincarnation of my great-grandfather Cecil B. Deville, I can even imitate his famous Scottish accent! (Speaks with a Scottish brogue.) Aye, there laddie! You've spilled a wee bit of haggis on your kilt! And I can tell you, the misty highlands are going to cause the Loch to rise up to the Scotland Yard! (Resumes normal voice) End scene." Sniz says: "Alright! Fine, okay! You can be in the old lady scene! Just don't annoy us anymore!" Sandy says: "Looks like WE'VE got to pick someone to act in a boxing scene!" Spongebob says: "But who are we going to get to do that, Rocko?" Rocko says: "I can't be a boxer. I'm a lover, not a fighter." Reggie says: "I can vouch for that!" Ren says: "I tried boxing once, I didn't like it." Stinky says: "Than that leaves us with only one real choice." And everyone looks at Haggis McHaggis, who's eating some haggis!

Haggis says: "What?" Sandy says: "Haggis, surely someone of YOUR age, someone with YOUR experience, who's been acting in television and movies for years, and Years, and YEARS, and MORE--!" Haggis says: "Cut out the hyperbole! And just because I've had a mental breakdown more than once, having to act my heart out, that doesn't mean you can make me into something I'm not!" Spongebob says: "Come on, Haggis! You can EASILY out-act Slyvester Stallone on any single day of the week!" Haggis says: "Don't typecast me, I'm not even sure if I can box, anymore." Rocko says: "You're not being asked to box, you're being asked to act! You are a natural, you have real talent! You are one of the greatest actors of your generation! Only Christopher Lee has more experience than you do, and HE survived the Ice Age!" Haggis says: "Very well, then! I shall be a boxer, and I don't mean the dog breed!" / Lil has managed to find some scraps of old clothes, a discarded wig, and a bunch of left-over make-up, and applied it to herself! Rancid says: "Okay, color me impressed! Miss Loopy Von Crazy Pants can actually make herself look different!" Lil speaks with her fake (though convincing) Scottish accent and says: "Aye, wee rabbit! That's on account of ME being a master thespian!" Skipper says: "Just be sure to lose the annoying Scottish burr, okay Grandma McLiz? YOUR Scottish voice is even more annoying than the Scottish voice that Haggis has!"

Liz yells: "Call me MARLON!" Pearl whispers to the other Network Noobs: "If Lil blows this acting scene, we're TOTALLY voting her off, right?" Darwin says: "If she can't act, than she won't be useful to us!" Rhonda says: "Makes sense to me!" Gerald says: "I won't miss her." / Haggis is getting made-up, with Sandy, Spongebob, Rocko, Ren, and Susie applying a green boxing robe, red boxing shoes, green boxing gloves, blue boxing shorts, and some applications of bruises, scars, and scrapes to emphasize a boxer who has seen a lot of matches. Haggis says: "How long do I have to stand like this?" Susie says: "As long as it takes to make sure that every last detail is perfect for the camera." Sandy says: "So do us a favor and just stand there, okay pretty boy?" Haggis says: "Look, DON'T call me pretty! The LAST smart-aleck who called me pretty ended up looking a lot LESS pretty! Understand?!" Sniz says: "Ooh, a conflict on the Boom Vets! Now this is the kind of thing we LIKE to see!" Marlene says: "Don't listen to Sandy, Haggis! You're BETTER than pretty! You're sophisticated, you're charming, you're debonair! You are an actor's actor!" Haggis says: "There, now that's more like it!" Sniz says: "I can't believe they settled that SO quickly! Sometimes, having this hosting job really stinks!" /

The set builders on the Network Noobs team are having to struggle to set up their scene, due to the lack of access to the better lights and cameras that the Boom Vets have. Darwin says: "Lil, we still need some time before we're ready to film. We need you to do us a favor and not move a muscle until we're completely ready!" Lil says: "Don't worry! Marlon CAN'T move a muscle! Her legs are TOTALLY asleep!" Dog is checking the sound systems, wearing headphones, and says: "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part. Could you repeat it, again?" Lil pulls a boom microphone close to her lips and yells: "I SAID MY LEGS ARE TOTALLY ASLEEP!!!!" And Dog, with his super-sharp hearing, collapses on the ground in pain! (Confessional) Dog says: "Note to self, make sure a boom microphone's length doesn't extend long enough for someone to yell RIGHT into it!" (End Confessional) Lil says: "This is taking SO long! I actually FEEL like I'm getting older!" Patrick arrives with more make-up, and angrily says: "This light is just APPALLING! How does anyone ever expect for us to FINISH this challenge?!" And everyone gasps at Patrick's sudden outburst! Patrick then resumes his normal tone and asks: "I mean, could you tilt up your chin a bit?" General Barracuda yells: "That's ENOUGH!!!!" And he gets up, grabs Patrick, and throws him onto a couch away from the prying eyes of everyone else except the Fairy Godparent crew filming their discussion!

General Barracuda asks: "And just what do you think, YOU are doing, Mr. Star?" Patrick says: "What do you mean? Whenever my mom needs to look pretty before SHE goes out on the town, she has always told me that I'm GREAT at applying her make-up--." General Barracuda interrupts: "We have GOT to get your personality toughened up, NOW!" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Seeing Patrick in that position reminded me of myself when I was first starting out in the army. But you see, I had to develop ALL of my toughness WITHOUT someone like ME to help ME out! This, is going to be FUN!" (End Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Listen well, Patrick! I've got an offer that even YOU won't be dumb enough to deny! I can help you man up and win this thing, help your team WIN challenges, help you avoid eliminations, and most importantly, make sure you make it ALL the way to the final two with absolutely no problem!" Patrick says: "Wait a minute! Since when do YOU ever help out anybody out of the goodness of your heart? If you even HAVE any goodness, that is." General Barracuda says: "I'm not just doing this for you, I'm doing it FOR me! When you win, and you WILL win, you WILL split the prize money with me, 50/50! It's an offer you CAN'T refuse! I WON'T let you!"

Patrick says: "You're out of your mind! You want me to make an illegal alliance with you?! Hurting and betraying everyone on the Boom Vets, who happen to be my friends? Well, I'm not going to do that!" General Barracuda says: "Well then, I guess I'll have to give you a more EFFECTIVE demonstration of my words, now WON'T I?" (Confessional) General Barracuda says: "Patrick WILL fall under the sway of my PERSUASIVE diplomacy skills AND muscles! All I need to do is fire a warning shot across his non-existent nose!" (End Confessional) / Pearl is looking at the acting scene the Network Noobs have set up for Lil. Pearl says: "Now, Larry said that Lil should be standing on an acting mark spot. But what does an acting mark spot even LOOK like? Should it look like an S to stand for Spot? Or should it look like an M to stand for Mark?" Lil's legs begin to wobble and she says: "Guys, I don't think I can hold this pose MUCH-- (Collapses from exhaustion) --LONGER!" Pearl holds up a white, cardboard X and says: "Found it! It's an X, and X marks the place where Lil should stand!" Craig says: "Oh man! We finally got the lighting just right!" Skipper says: "It's okay everybody, just get back into first positions! We can recover from this!" Lil says: "It's been DECADES! Can we PLEASE just get the ball rolling on my eventual Best Actress nomination?" / The Boom Vets are looking at everything they have done to prepare for their scene.

Treeflower says: "I've got to admit it, Haggis McHaggis cleans up rather nicely!" Sandy says: "Cleanliness isn't everything though. Marlene, I hope Haggis' acting skills are as great as you say they are!" Marlene says: "You DON'T need to worry! He doesn't have a revered acting status for nothing! He's going to dazzle your tail off!" Spongebob says: "Actually, Sandy once DID literally lose her tail to a giant Alaskan Bull Worm, and made the foolish mistake of trying to fight it herself!" Sandy asks: "Did you HAVE to bring THAT up?" Spongebob says: "It's the truth! Why wouldn't I bring it up?" (Confessional) Sandy says: "Spongebob is a great guy and all, but I think I need to teach him about the importance of discretion." / Spongebob says: "How was I supposed to know that Sandy didn't want me to bring that worm subject up? She never told ME that it was something that she didn't like to have discussed!" (End Confessional) Sniz says: "All right, the sets look great, and the actors are primed! Skipper, Marlene! (Throws them two folders with written papers inside) These folders contain the lines of what your actress and actor will have to say. Have them read those lines, and memorize them." Skipper asks: "When?" Sniz says: "As soon as possible! We'll be shooting live in 15 minutes!" / Haggis says: "Sniz wants me to read THESE lines?" Rocko says: "It doesn't matter what the lines say, all you have to do is read them!"

Haggis says: "It's completely corny! I haven't read such a ridiculous script since I co-starred in The Time Device!" Susie says: "No need to worry. As long as you say your lines with conviction, we'll win this challenge for sure!" Haggis says: "Reading my lines with conviction is something that I am ALWAYS able to do!" / Fondue says: "All right, contestants! It's time to get serious! Make General Barracuda show a different side of himself! We're separating those who can act from those who can't act!" Sniz says: "Get into your places! Let us bring in some huge ratings! Lights, camera, ACTION!!!!" Haggis rehearses his lines from memory: "When I was a wee young school girl in Scotland, taking courses and frolicking through the golden fields of my youth, those were the happiest days of my life." And everyone looks REALLY weirded out! Sniz says: "Fondue, I thought you checked to make sure the acting scenes were in the RIGHT folders!" Fondue says: "I thought YOU checked the folders!" And Sniz and Fondue laugh in hysterics from their intentional mistake! / Lil tries to say her lines verbatim, but she keeps going off-track. Lil says: "Now you listen and you listen good! If YOUR fighter doesn't go down in the third match of the fight, YOU'LL be sleeping with the fishes! And that's...hard to do...because... they have no eyelids! And it is hard to sleep! Say, I can FLIP my eyelids! Does anybody want to see it?!"

Skipper says: "Lil's clearly a nut job, but at least she's committed. Even Haggis is going to have a hard time beating that." Haggis continues his speech that he memorized perfectly from his script. Haggis dramatically says: "I've lived a good life! I've loved, I've lost, but what I miss most of all, is my sweet little sheep, Mozart. Oh, baah!" General Barracuda looks up and sadly says: "Bahhh...baah?" And he begins sobbing uncontrollably, and so does nearly every contestant on the Boom Vets team. Sniz is crying: "Okay! Enough! Okay, all this emotional trauma is clearly TOO much for General Barracuda to take! (Stops crying) So, it is in General Barracuda's genuine opinion that the Boom Vets, win today's challenge!" Lil throws off her wig and old lady clothes to the ground and says: "Hey, hey! I was ROBBED! I'll see YOU all in the MORGUE, capische?!" Sniz says: "In addition to victory, Haggis receives the additional reward of all the pampering he wants during an exclusive session of caring and luxury at the Fairy World spa, where he will LITERALLY feel 30 years younger! Network Noobs, you'll have to vote someone off at tonight's Silver Sniz Ceremony!" Patrick goes up to General Barracuda and asks: "You wanted to teach ME how to be a tough guy?"

General Barracuda is still crying and says: "Tough guys cry. (Immediately stops crying and gets serious) And besides, did you HAPPEN to notice that YOUR team just LOST?! Who was the judge, Patrick?! Huh, who?! Now I'm going to be NICE and explain my deal more carefully! Either YOU agree to my alliance from the next challenge onward, or else I'll make the life of your girlfriend MISERABLE! Even if SHE gets eliminated before YOU do! GOT IT?!" Patrick gulps: "Crystal clear." General Barracuda gets an evil smile and says: "Perfect! Oh, and one more thing, keep my active presence here a secure SECRET from everyone. I'd hate to be responsible should any unfortunate ACCIDENTS befall your friends on the Boom Vets team!" (Confessional) Patrick says: "I can't believe I've found myself facing the situation that I'm now in! Not only does General Barracuda want to make the lives of my friends miserable, he wants to have ME be the one who makes the lives of my friends miserable, and I can't even tell them that its General Barracuda who's making me do it, if I don't WANT him to seriously maim my friends, or WORSE! I'm beginning to think that this season is more trouble than it is worth!" (End Confessional) / The Boom Vets are having a celebration in their contestant trailers, enjoying the fact that their team has won another challenge. Skipper walks near their and looks for Marlene, who happens to be outside.

Skipper says: "Marlene, these challenges are really messing with my senses. There is something I want to talk to you about." Marlene says: "And what would that be?" Skipper says: "Seeing Skipper in that acting challenge reminded me of some things. I've loved, I've lost, but what I miss the most is my sweet, little lamb, Marlene." Marlene convincingly and lovingly says: "Baah!" And the couple hug. Skipper asks: "Listen, you and Norbert are just friends, right?" Marlene says: "Worry not. The guy SHARES a bed with Treeflower! And while I would like to give Treeflower a taste of her own medicine, I have no intention of wanting to give her a reason to want me voted off!" Skipper says: "That's certainly a load off my mind!" Marlene says: "Skipper, I'm sorry I called you a super-spy, James Bond wannabe." Skipper says: "If I could, I would want YOU to join my penguin commando team, now!" Marlene says: "Well, all I know is, I don't want to be YOU, right now!" Skipper nervously asks: "Because you're going to dump me?!" Marlene says: "Not a chance! More like because YOU have to vote someone OFF of YOUR team tonight!"

Skipper says: "That's all right. As long as you're here, I'll be all right." (Silver Sniz Theme plays) Fondue is sitting down, and plays a dramatic drum-roll. Sniz walks out, once again JUST wearing his fancy bow-tie to look fancy! Sniz says: "Network Noob contestants, the time has come to determine who will be getting a Silver Sniz tonight! (Electronic voting devices pop up in front of the contestants) Just push a button to select the contestant YOU want off of the team! Whoever gets the most votes, leaves! It's that simple!" (Electronic noises are made as the contestants all push a button to select the contestant THEY want voted off.) Sniz says: "The votes have all been cast, it's time to announce the winners!" (Wanda appears, and magically poofs an envelope with the voting results inside.) Sniz says: "These contestants will be the ones who receive a Silver Sniz! Skipper, Rhonda, Pearl, Patrick, Craig, Dog, Darwin, and Gerald!" (Rancid and Larry both look nervous and start sweating, while Lil looks pretty confidant about herself.) Sniz says: "Only two Silver Sniz awards left! And tonight's loser is-- (Dramatic music plays) --Lil! Time to go!" Lil says: "I'm not going anywhere! That's NOT my NAME!" Sniz gives a weird look at Fondue. Fondue says: "She asked Ren to let HER have the name of Marlon Hoek." Sniz shouts: "WANDA!!!!"

And Wanda sighs in an annoyed manner as she magically poofs some magic onto the voting results paper. Sniz then shows the paper to Lil. Sniz says: "There! It says MARLON Hoek now, okay?!" Lil gets up and casually walks toward the Red Carpet of Shame. Sniz says: "And remember; you can NEVER come back EVER!" And Sniz pushes a button that summons Bada and Bing from "The Penguins of Madagascar," to have them grab Lil by the arms, and the forcibly escort her to the Limo of Losers and throw her into the car, before she can change her mind and try to escape. As the car begins to drive away, Lil's head pops through the sun roof, and she throws a bunch of kisses to the other contestants. Lil speaks with her fake Scottish accent: "This was just a dress rehearsal, darlings! (Resumes speaking with her normal voice) You'll soon see my star on the Walk of Fame, mark my words. (Yells) MARK THEM!" /

(End Episode) Episode Notes: It's learned in this episode that Marlene absolutely can't STAND Treeflower, and Stimpy is a lot smarter than the way he acted on his show of "Ren and Stimpy." Ren Hoek goes back to being Ren Hoek, and gives the name of Marlon Hoek to Lil Deville. General Barracuda FORCES Patrick to enter into an illegal alliance with him for a 50/50 winning split for if Patrick wins, and the safety of Pearl and the Boom Vets team for his cooperation. Although the Network Noobs lose, it is the season one contestant, Lil Deville (as Marlon Hoek) who ends up getting eliminated, making her the first contestant from season one to lose on "Total Cartoon Action!" Episode Quotes: Located above! I hope you enjoyed reading this episode as much as I did writing it!

IMO, the only thing that can improve this spin-off, is if you make another person's dialogue turn into a new paragraph, instead of a new paragraph after a change of scene, or something.

Also I have been noticing most of the exact same quotes from the Total Drama Action episode Riot on Set. I have gotten on you about your tendency of copying Total Drama episodes a lot in the past. You can always do this, you can use the plots, but add in your own originality to the mix by creating different quotes and different reasons for what went down. For example, Patrick can always fail at being Barricuda's apprentice and get Barricuda extremely pissed off and can Patrick as his apprentice and find a new one.

Hey Total Cartoon Action is now the 3rd most viewed spin off on SBC! Nice job, man.

(Team Spongebob doesn't count because someone refreshed the page over and over)

tvguy347 wrote:Hey Total Cartoon Action is now the 3rd most viewed spin off on SBC! Nice job, man.

(Team Spongebob doesn't count because someone refreshed the page over and over)

Thank you for the compliment! And don't forget to stay tuned for my next episode called, "American Spray-Paint!" HOPEFULLY coming soon on this website!

This is just a little announcement to say that this series has not been canceled, it's just on hold until I can get around to posting a Spongebob related artwork on Deviant Art (I've been kind of busy recently.) In the meantime, I'd like to announce that starting sometime soon-ish, I will post a topic about "Total Cartoon: Behind the Scenes." This topic will discuss my creator's/director's commentary on the episodes I've written of the series (including the early episodes of "Total Cartoon Island" that I didn't post here) and all episodes featured here will be getting retro-fitted with a brand new feature (to add drama) called a voting chart! It will explain to the readers which characters were on the chopping block for a certain episode, and how each and every character currently in the competition voted for every character that was voted for! My hope is that this topic helps people understand my show a little bit better.