My 3000th Post- Luke's (Metal Snake's) Explanations

Hello SBC, Luke/Metal Snake here! After being a post whore over the past two days, I managed to reach 3000 posts. While I've never really done a celebration for the amount of posts I've had on here before, I think it's actually necessary this time. Why? Because I've been a member of this community for over a year now, and I've barely said a damn word about myself or my personal life. That's right, this is a thread dedicated to me explaining some things about myself that I think the community deserves to know. You're probably wondering right now, how in the name of all that is holy is this a celebration of activity? Well, I'll tell you. Some of the things I'm about to post here just might explain my behavior on SBC during the time I've been on here, so here we go.

1. I am homeschooled. Yes, I have never taken classes at a public school in all the time that I've lived. My parents were very overprotective, and they did not want to enroll me in something that would require me to be around a lot of other children.

2. My parents are divorced. Although my parents would constantly fight with each other, the nail that sealed the coffin in their relationship is an event that I am choosing NOT to discuss here. But yeah, my parents eventually got a divorce, and I ended up living with my mom along with my older brother, older sister, and my baby brother. My older brother departed for college five days ago, and my older sister is now taking classes for college credits, so yeah, I'm mostly around my little bro when I'm at home now.

Now that I've gotten the details of my personal life out of the way, it's time for the main event. The qualities of myself. Five bad qualities of myself that caused me to do some stupid shit on this site in the past.

1. Posing: If you knew me in my early SBC days, you probably know my nickname back then, LuketheposerJames. When I first came to SBC, I wanted to look like a cool dude, so I tried to copy the posting style of a certain user named Dragiiin. Unfortunately, I failed epically, made some stupid and spammy posts, and ended up looking like a total idiot.

2. Asskissing: This is something that I got into the habit of doing a few months after the Dragiiin-imitating catastrophe. I tried to get the respect of some of the SBC users by agreeing with them, praising a lot of the things they did without question, but I failed epically at that too, thus ending my days of trying to be a cool cat on the site.

3. Passive aggressiveness: Here's one that might surprise you. When I first came to SBC, I was very passive aggressive. When someone did something that frustrated me, I never expressed my true feelings on the matter. Instead, I held it in, and bottled up my emotions. I would never handle my anger the right way, and like everything else so far, it caused me to say and do some stupid things.

4. Self-loathing: A lot of you probably know about this one. Well, it's finally time to explain it. While I have made some jokes in the past that involved the hatred of my being, some of them were more than just jokes... If you want an example, look at the way I was talking about my spin-off back in June. I was repeatedly implying that it sucked shit, which frustrated fellow member ExKizuna. You know what, I think it's about time to explain something about Sebastion. While I do NOT hate it, I do feel like I didn't try my hardest with it. I had a HUGE amount of ideas for it, and I didn't really take the time to blend a lot of those ideas together, so I ended up rushing and writing something that I felt could've been better. As for myself, I sometimes feel guilty about some of the things I've done on this site, and I end up showing it through a self-loathing post, like this one.

5. Fragility: This is it. I saved this one for last because it's something that's effected not only my internet life, but my real life as well. A quality that nearly all of my actions point to. I am fragile, unbelievably fragile. Even when I don't show it, I get easily upset when someone insults me or puts me down, and usually combined with some personal drama at home, this is the main reason why I act the way I do when someone is irritating me on SBC. I care too much about what other people think of me, and while I have become a lot more honest about my opinions on things on SBC over time, there have been times in real life where I've agreed with people just because I don't want them to reject me.

So...uh yeah. I've not been as honest with my personal feelings as I should've been. Sorry if this thread got way too depressing, but I felt it was necessary to post this. I've been acting differently than I usually do these past few days, and I thought the community deserved an explanation for it, as well as some explanations on why I acted the way I did in the past. Feel free to comment on this lengthy and melodramatic post if you wish.

Honestly, I could tell through your posts that something has been up. Listen man, things may have been a bit rough when you got here. I wish I knew about it earlier so I could have done something about it. I really think you are a valued member here on SBC. You are one of my favorite people on here. I may not show it with me, but I honestly do care about every single member on this site. Even the ones who don't know it. You seriously have no need to be so hard on yourself bro. You once said that you look up to me, I really would be nothing the way I am without every single one of you to be concerned about. That is why in a way, I look up to you too.

Aww, Luke! So sorry you feel this way many times, but you know we all love ya for who you are!! *hugz*
We all have been through tough shit, so don't feel bad, k? ^^

Thank you guys for understanding.

I had the suspicion that something had been up with you and was honestly going to ask you about it soon, but I'm glad you're comfortable enough with us share that information. Just try not to hold back from now on, because this is a community and we love ya. I remember your rough start but you've come an extraordinarily long way since then and you're a great, valued member now.

We've all had tough times, and we're all here for you. Just remember not to hate on yourself, that doesn't make anything better.

Metal Snake wrote:When I first came to SBC, I wanted to look like a cool dude, so I tried to copy the posting style of a certain user named Dragiiin.

never heard of him

I never saw any of those characteristics in you, Metal. Pretty much all the regulars here act the same in my eyes. I'm happy you finally decided to open up, anyway. Maybe I'll put something together for my 3000th post jk

JCM wrote:

Metal Snake wrote:When I first came to SBC, I wanted to look like a cool dude, so I tried to copy the posting style of a certain user named Dragiiin.

never heard of him

I never saw any of those characteristics in you, Metal. Pretty much all the regulars here act the same in my eyes. I'm happy you finally decided to open up, anyway. Maybe I'll put something together for my 3000th post jk

Thanks, but keep in mind, you weren't around me in my early SBC days. Thank you 70s as well.

Wow, I never realized all this about you. I understand how things like that can make you who you were (I'm the kid of divorced parents aswell, so I kinda know). And I'll make a confession myself: You know how I'm pretty vocal on here and argumental and such? In real life I am pretty much the exact opposite of that, and I totally hate it. It's not that I want to be like that, I really just want to be the opposite and be vocal and honest like I am on here. But I just can't be like that in the real world for whatever reason. I'm glad you've got the guts to say all this, and I've really come to respect/like you so much more in the past year than I ever believed I would have back in my early days.

You can't be honest and upfront in real life because there are people capable of beating you up in real life.

JCM wrote:You can't be honest and upfront in real life because there are people capable of beating you up in real life.

so just be a pussy your entire life. good plan.

Sorry your life is bad..well sort of. I always noticed something wasn't right about you and I was always pretty annoyed by you (Like when you took 70s side in TS thread). But there's always a new beginning .

JCM wrote:You can't be honest and upfront in real life because there are people capable of beating you up in real life.

I lol'd.

JCM wrote:You can't be honest and upfront in real life because there are people capable of beating you up in real life.

What the fuck is wrong with you.

Oh, and Luke, it's okay bro. I mean, even in all these hard times, just remember...Aerith dies