Clappy's Screenwriting Short Stories

I am taking a screenwriting course this semester and I will be writing a couple screen plays based off the sounds of it. So, before I turn them into my professor, I am going to post them here to hopefully receive some feedback before I submit them to my professor.

So keep your eyes open for the first one to arrive in a month or so.

Can't wait!

Bumped since the plot behind my first screenwriting story is coming out tomorrow

You like screenwriting!? =D Well I'll be damned, I do too! x) But then again, I like everything writing, so it's not a big shocker.

Yeah its because of this screenwriting course that I have been having to hold back on my spin-offs/lits. I just got my first official assignment after so many practice runs, so we'll see how this goes

Clappy wrote:Yeah its because of this screenwriting course that I have been having to hold back on my spin-offs/lits. I just got my first official assignment after so many practice runs, so we'll see how this goes

Cool! I'll read it for sure.

Cool, can't wait to read it =]

Ok well I got an email from my professor approving of my story, so here is the plot with an eventual synopsis coming in the next week or two.

Plot

In the present time, overpopulation has become a major concern that is preventing society from further advancing. A police officer is summoned to capture a young woman who is out to kill an aspiring politician. He captures her as she reveals her true self. She is from twenty years into the future. In the future, the aging gene has been turned off and time is now the new currency. The rich are immortal, while the poor must negotiate for their lives through hand to hand combat. To validify her accusations, she takes the officer back to the future where he sees for himself how bleak and dismal society is with an unfair ratio of rich and poor, However, he becomes trapt due to his poor currency. Now to make it back to the present to take down the corrupt politician, the officer must fight for his life to be able to overpower immortality.

Yeah so far the details are very vague and I haven't come up with proper names for the characters yet, but feedback would be lovely.

That sounds like an amazing story.

good plot i guess

Really looking forward to reading this.

Awesome plot. Super original. CAN'T wait to read it.

Great premise. I'll definitely read this.

Ok I made a couple minor changes to the plot, but you will see the five to seven page synopsis at some point in the next two days

Ooh, very interesting and original, Claps! Can't wait to read it.

And here is my synopsis. It took around 8 pages in Microsoft Word and we were not allowed to use any dialogue whatsoever. All dialogue will be written out instead of in quotations. Also, when I copied and pasted this, everything turned into a 4EverGreen wall of text . So I tried to make this as readable as possible. Hopefully I did a good job because without further ado, here is my first movie .

I’m Mortal

A clip is shown of a news show debating about overpopulation with one person taking a positive stance while the camera focuses on the negative stance. After the clip ends, the screen pans into the House of Representatives debating about the issue. Many senators have different views on how to fix overpopulation. We get a couple different stances before one senator named John Griffin comes up with an idea that shocks the house. The speaker of the house tells John that his plan sounds ridiculous, but John states that if people are ready to take drastic measures, he will still be game with his ideas.

The screen fades to black as the title appears and the opening credits play. We are now at the police station where we enter into Detective Glenn Forrester. Glenn has been a detective for the city of Baltimore for thirty-five years and he is considered one of the best at what he does. However, Glenn retires next month. He has taken a huge toll in the past couple years. He lost his partner, Daniel DeRatto, two years ago when he was shot at gunpoint in the middle of a case. Ever since then, Glenn has not been the same. He can not keep up with the younger detectives and their new methods, so he feels that he does not have anything else left in the tank. Not only was Daniel his partner, but Daniel has been his lifelong best friend. Daniel and Glenn first met as roommates in college and ever since then, they were the best of friends.

Glenn is assigned one final mission before he retires. His mission is to catch Jane Doe, who attempted to assassinate John Griffin last week at a rally for a bill he was trying to push towards Congress. Glenn feels that this woman is his paycheck towards an official retirement. Glenn studies his research on Jane Doe but he is shocked to see that her information is not even the system’s database. He wonders if the system is malfunctioning at the moment as he changes his plan to trying to discover the next location of John Griffin’s campaign rally.

Glenn travels all the way to Scottsdale, Arizona for a Republican convention. Glenn watches from a far as he tells the police force to remain on look out for suspicious activity. Glenn keeps a look out and tries to locate any woman that might be the slightest bit suspicious. Glenn keeps searching but something catches his eye. He thought he saw himself and aims his gun ready to pull the trigger, but the man in question quickly disappears. Suddenly, Glenn gets an eye of a beautiful woman with long blonde hair and with a sniper rifle in position. Glenn hesitates but he sends the troopers out to capture the Jane Doe. Glenn is so excited that he finally caught Jane Doe so he can retire in peace and not have to deal with the every day stress that his job thrusts upon him.

The scene takes place back in the police station as Jane Doe is just sitting in the questioning room with a blank stare. She is not budging at all as she just waits for whatever questions come her way. Glenn then walks into the room and starts to ask simple questions to Jane like her age and what her job is, but Jane just stares and does not respond. Glenn then starts to get more serious and asks for her name since Jane Doe is without a doubt just an alias. She finally reveals that her name is Rose. Glenn asks Rose where she is from and Rose tells him that she can do him one better. In that instance, Rose grabs her wrist watch and starts pressing buttons. Suddenly, Glenn and Rose disappear from the questioning room.

Moments later, Glenn opens his eyes. He feels like he just went through a tornado as he was on the ground and could barely move. Once he got feeling back into his body, he slowly stood back up. A dark, bleak city is in the background as Glenn had no clue where he was. Rose walks up towards him and told him that she is from Baltimore as well. Glenn does not believe her and Rose goes into full explanation. She tells him that is Baltimore, but only 500 years from the time period they just came from. Glenn realizes that Rose just brought him into the future. Glenn asks Rose why the future is so dark and gloomy, not all utopian and everything people from his time thought it would turn out to be.

Rose then responds by telling him that a president who came from Glenn’s time frame turned this country upside down. Rose says that the 57th president of the United States, President John Griffin, turned the corner with a new bill that “resolved” overpopulation in the United States. For 40 years, John Griffin tried to push his bill in the House of Representatives, but no one ever listened to him and thought it was too extreme. Once he became president, he was able to manipulate the House by being able to spin his words into making his new bill sound that it was the only resolution. To explain the major power from this bill in a nut shell, John felt that if you weren’t middle class or higher, you do not deserve the tax payer’s dollars. At first, the bill sounded semi-reasonable, but all the tax payer’s dollars had to go somewhere. Two hundred years later, the middle class disintegrated and became the lower class. Now you are either rich or poor. The rich have the benefits of being able to afford high priced health care so they can be immune of any disease. The poor have to negotiate with the low amount of options they have in terms of benefits. They can work, but their income is so poor that they have to make due with the amount they get from their paychecks. They can’t afford all these new health care advancements, so the simplest of diseases like the flu can kill them off easily for the most part. There is no in between amongst the rich and the poor in sense.

After Rose’s explanation, Glenn realizes that reasoning behind Rose’s ideals. Rose wants to kill John so that this bill would have never been construed. Despite Rose’s story, Glenn feels that killing John is a bit too extreme, so he needs to take Rose back to the present and arrest her. Suddenly, the police come by. Glenn hands Rose out, but the cops say that they are here to arrest Glenn since he is an illegal citizen. Glenn then pulls out his gun, grabs Rose, and runs off. After losing the cops, Glenn tells Rose to take him back to his time. Rose tells him that her time traveling watch is out of uranium and that the closest place that contains uranium is a warehouse in Philadelphia. Glenn and Rose then start to travel on foot towards Rose’s house.

Glenn takes a deep long look around Rose’s house as he sees pictures of family and friends of Rose’s. The one photo he takes a nice long look at is the photo of Rose’s family tree. Glenn couldn’t help but notice how Rose and her family all share a resemblance of someone he once knew, but he could not for the life of him connect the dots in his memory bank. As he tries to figure it out, his eyes move on towards photos of Rose. While she does look familiar, he can’t help but notice how beautiful she looks when she smiles. As he starts to smile at the pictures, Rose grabs his attention and tells him its time to move forward.

The two then drive off on the long road to Boston. While the ones who can afford flying cars are driving at light speed above them, Rose and Glenn are driving on the ground in a 2345 Ford Mustang that has been passed down for generations by Rose’s family. Glenn decides to make ideal small talk and ask Rose about her family tree as he tries to subtly figure out why there is a connection in his head. Rose goes on about how her family has been in Baltimore as long as she can remember and how they have had low income jobs like waiter/waitress and grocery baggers. She explains that the only way they have made a living was based off gambling. Glenn tells her that he and his best friend use to take trips down to Atlantic City twice a year to gamble on their birthdays. Glenn starts to reminisce about Daniel when Rose cuts off his flashback and asks the relevance of Glenn bringing him up. Glenn then tells her that the only person he has ever cared about outside of his family was Daniel and until the day he died, he always treated Daniel like the brother he never had. Rose then starts to question why Glenn can not open his heart up and let love in from others. She tells him that Daniel loved him for who he was and that he should allow others to as well.

Rose then pulls over on to the side of the road and gets out of the car. She starts to get teary eyed and walks into the middle of a field. Glenn follows her and wonders what is wrong with her. As he chases after her, he starts to realize that this area looks awfully familiar. All of a sudden, Glenn goes into flashback as he reminisces about the day Daniel died.

The case revolved around an alleged cocaine deal going down between a delegate from the state of Pennsylvania. Daniel and Glenn were getting hints that once every two weeks, the delegate in question would meet a Cuban drug lord. Glenn and Daniel drove out to this location and Daniel told Glenn to cover him. He says that his source told him that this was the exact time and location, so he wants Glenn to be on guard for suspicious activity. As soon as Daniel stepped out of the car, he was shot in the head by a sniper rifle. Glenn freaked out and drove off with tears running down his face. Two weeks later,Daniel was buried in the location he was shot. Glenn swore on that day that he would get revenge on the person who set up Daniel.

Glenn then stares deep into Rose’s eyes as Rose was breaking down. Glenn said that this location makes him sentimental as well. Rose then tells him that he doesn’t understand the meaning of this place. She said that one of her relatives was assassinated at this location. She said it scared her family for life. Glenn then finally realizes why Rose looks so familiar. Glenn asks Rose that she is long overdue to reveal her last name. Rose reveals that her last name is DeRatto and Glenn then explains to her that he was the partner of her ancestor. He says that he was his best friend and that he is still trying to locate the killer of Daniel. Rose tells him that he does not need to do so anymore. She said the killer in question was hired by a former president, John Griffin. She says that he was never convicted because there was never any physical proof that he was the one who hired the assassin, but that before she traveled back to the year 2011, she went two years before that to the year 2009. She was there on the day and saw with her own two eyes that John Griffin was responsible.

At this moment, Glenn realizes Rose’s intentions on killing John Griffin are valid and that he will avenge Daniel’s death. During the heat of the moment, the two glare into each other’s eyes as Rose grabs Glenn and the two passionately kiss. Kissing ends up turning into intercourse as the two wake up the next morning in each other’s arms, but the police sirens are going off in the distance. Glenn glances from a far and realizes that the cops have located Rose’s car. Glenn wakes Rose up and the two quickly get dressed and make a run for it. The two run until they locate a bus stop and ride off towards Philadelphia.

The two finally make it to Philadelphia as Rose makes her way into the factory and obtains uranium. As she is setting up her wrist watch, the police have yet again located their existence. Glenn realizes that he needs to hold off the factory as he finds an opening and starts to shoot off the cops. Never in his life would he imagine that he would be going rogue on his own kind, but Glenn has never felt so right about doing something so wrong. The wrist watch is fully loaded and ready to go as the two make their way back to the year 2011.

It was the day of the convention where Glenn first spotted Rose, however things this time were going to be different he was going to allow Rose to kill John. This was not about just revenge, but Glenn wants to save the future from becoming a desolate wasteland. Glenn wants all the ideals incorporated by John to disintegrate and for a dystopian society to transform into the utopian society people have always pictured when talking about the future. As Glenn waits for John to make his appearance, he slowly looks around making sure that no one notices him when he catches a glimpse of someone familiar. He sees himself far from a distance. Glenn never took into consideration that he would mess up the space/time continuum by traveling to the exact day he originally caught Rose. Glenn from the past spots himself from the far distance and shoots Glenn straight in the chest.

Glenn from the past alerts the cops of Glenn and Rose’s location. With sirens alarming in the distance, Rose runs to Glenn and starts to tear up. As Glenn is slowly dying, he tells Rose to take the shot and to do what’s right. Rose then grabs the sniper rifle, looks around, spots John and gets her shot of redemption. Rose kills John with a headshot in an instance of karma. Rose turns her head to tell Glenn as Glenn laid on the ground dead while the cops surround Rose. Rose then presses a button on her wrist watch as she returns to her time period.

We then get a quick look at the year 2511 as society turns out to be as utopian as Glenn kept picturing it would be before Rose took him back in time. Rose is sitting in her home telling her son the story of how society changed for the better. The son resembles Glenn, hinting that Glenn was the boy’s father. Rose tells her son that his father may have killed himself in an odd twist of events, but he died a honest man.

Awesome screenplay! There was only one thing that I have a bit of a gripe with, and that's the intercourse. If they had just kissed it would have been all right, but I think the intercourse took things too fast. Still, great work!

Wumbology wrote:Awesome screenplay! There was only one thing that I have a bit of a gripe with, and that's the intercourse. If they had just kissed it would have been all right, but I think the intercourse took things too fast. Still, great work!

Yeah, I had a page limit on my synopsis. I will eventually be doing the full treatment towards this screenplay, making it a bit longer. This was pretty much the rough draft but I appreciate your comments. On my treatment, I plan on making the romantic relationship a bit more in depth so that the intercourse is not rushed.

I enjoyed your screenplay buddy, but you already knew that lol