Coral Drive

All right, so this is my new spin-off. I'll post an episode as soon as I can.

Season 1

Episode 1: First Look

We see Poppy Puff moving in to Coral Drive with her husband, Roger. She appears to have a lot of bags and a lot of belongings. An eel named Erica catches sight of this, and runs back inside.

"Robert! Do you see this? We have new neighbours!" exclaims Erica.

"Oh, great. Proof that misery loves company, huh?" Robert jokes.

Erica, who can't take a joke easily, says, "Oh, Robert, you're so negative. I think what we need is to go over there and introduce ourselves."

"Eri, can't you see what I'm doing? I've got a lot of orders to fill for tonight's banquet, I don't have time to mosey over there with a fruit basket and a 'howdy-do!'"

Erica grabs his tail and pulls him outside. "Then we'd better run."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, another has noticed the new neighbours: Beth from the Sturgeon family.

Beth, who was watching out the window, walks over to her husband, who is also in the kitchen, eating a sandwich.

"Edward, put down that sandwich! We need to visit the new neighbours."

Edward, swallowing his mouthful of sandwich before he speaks, asks, "What new neighbours?"

"They just moved down across the street! Come on, let's go!" She grabs his fin, and he drops his sandwich on the floor.

Looking at the mess, she says, "I'll clean it up later. Let's go!"

They rush out of the house.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

An old suckerfish named Morticia is watching out the window as well. She sees trees of green, kids on bicycles, and.. what's this? New neighbours?!

She rushes over to her husband, but smacks into the wall instead.

Harold rushes out and notices his wife clutching her head on the floor. "Morticia! Morticia! Are you all right?"

Morticia manages to say, "New... neighbours..." before she passes out.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Poppy Puff is watching out the window as well. She notices all the neighbours coming over with fruit baskets, cards, chocolates, and friendly waves.

Frustrated, she shuts the curtains, and turns to her husband, laying on the new couch. "Oh, Roger! I said I didn't want any fuss!"

"What did you expect, Poppy? There's a moving van outside, lots of bags being carried in, people are going to put two and two together and come up with 'new neighbours'."

Poppy buries her head into her hands and sinks into a chair. "Oh... I don't know why I'm blaming you... it's just... this is exactly what happened when we moved into that... last town."

Roger finally shows attention. He walks over to his wife, puts his hand on her forehead, and says, "It will not turn out like that again. We're in a new city, a new street... a new life." The doorbell rings. Roger grins. "Now, let's go greet the fish bearing gifts."

Poppy tries to keep a cool head and slowly follows.

As the threshold of people welcome Poppy and Roger, a little boy named Jimmy notices an ambulance and paramedics getting out. Slowly but surely, everyone else does, and they rush over to Morticia's house. Roger grimaces. "Well, this is what you wanted, wasn't it? No fuss over us."

Poppy could do nothing but give a quick glare to her husband, then watch the paramedics carry Morticia away. She at once knew that this was a new life - one that will have a whole new book of problems.

Fade to black, credits.

Comments? Thoughts? Post them here or in the reviews section.

Episode 2: Sharp Turns

We hear Harold faintly saying, "Morticia?... Morticia?"

Morticia's eyes open, only to find Harold standing over her hospital bed.

"Are you okay, sweetie? That was a nasty concussion."

Morticia, struggling to speak, says, "I think... I'll be fine...", then goes to sleep.

Harold pulls her blanket up a little closer to her head and whispers, "I'll let you rest." He then silently walks out of the room.

A few seconds later, little Jimmy barges in with flowers and a box of chocolates. He says hyperactively, "Hey, Morticia! You feeling better?"

Startled and awoken from her sleep, Morticia gets up quickly and looks around frantically. When she rests her eyes on Jimmy, she says, "Oh... it's only you."

Jimmy doesn't take that very well, as he drops the chocolates and flowers and runs out of the room crying. He runs to his mother, who is waiting outside the room.

"She doesn't like me! She doesn't like me!" Jimmy wailed between tears.

Jimmy's mother picks him up, hugs him, and says, "Aw, Jimmy, I'm sure she likes you... she just hit her head really hard."

This seems to comfort Jimmy slightly, and they walk out of the hospital together.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, in the hospital room, Morticia heard what the mother said about her. She shudders, shakes her head, and falls back asleep. "If they only knew about my past," she thought, "then maybe they'd understand my paranoia."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Erica peers out the window to see Harold pacing back and forth, deep in thought. She closes the curtains and turns to her husband.

"Rob, it's starting to give me the creeps..."

Robert interrupts: "What is, Eri?"

"That man... just pacing back and forth in his house... I think something's wrong with him."

"Eri..." Robert facepalms. "It's nothing to worry about, he's probably just anxious about his wife."

"Well... maybe you're right..."

She goes back to the window and opens the curtain again. Harold is gone.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Harold decided to go for a long drive, mostly to take his mind off of what just happened. Could it be that his wife could die right then and there so easily? He decided not to take any chances, and went right to the hardware store.

"Andrew? Hey, it's Harold."

A small anchovy sticks his head up from behind the counter. "Harold! It's been too long. How's the wife?"

"Well, you see, that's the problem, Andy. She nearly died after that concussion..."

Andrew's eyes take on a confused look. "What concussion?"

"Oh, you didn't hear?"

"No, I didn't hear! Nobody ever comes around anymore, whether it's to shoot the breeze or buy a can of paint!" He grabs Harold's shoulders. "Don't you see, Harry? This old fish is going out of business!"

Harold is stunned. "Why, Andrew, I had no idea..."

"Of course you didn't. No one did. 'Cause no one gives a damn about me anymore." He flops down on his desk, soaking it with tears.

Harold is speechless for a little bit, then decides to slowly back out and go to another store.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Poppy is looking out her window, nearly to the point of obsessive-compulsiveness. Her husband, Roger, is finally fed up and puts down his newspaper. "Poppy, what are you doing?"

"I can't take it, Roger. They're out there, somewhere..."

"Ah, for the love of God, Poppy, get a grip!" He shuts the curtain.

Poppy looks at Roger with frightened eyes. "I'm afraid, Roger. Who knows what might happen?"

Frustrated, Roger yells, "NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN!"

Just then, there's a knock at the door.

It's Erica, with a get well soon card for Morticia. "Is this a bad time...? I want the whole neighbourhood to sign this."

"Yeah, yeah, give it here." Roger snatches the card out of Eric's fin, signs it, and gives it back in frustration.

"Um... Poppy, is it? Would you care to sign?"

"Not today." Poppy says this sentence as if she were on another planet.

"Is... is your wife okay?"

Roger, not knowing what to say, finally settles for a fake grin and a "Yeah. She'll be fine." He shoos Erica out the door, and goes over to his wife. "What's wrong, babe?"

Stunned, Poppy can only point out the window. Roger looks, and he can only see the face for a split second before it vanishes behind the curtain. But there was no mistaking it...

"Uh... uh... everything will be just f-fine!" Roger stammers. He then charges upstairs, leaving his wife staring out the window in shock.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A fat, balding fish with an Italian accent sits in a recliner. "Damn it Lola, you gave away our position!"

Lola, frustrated, says, "Oh, it was going to be given away sooner or later! Calm down!"

"I'm not the one jumpin' around like a pogo stick. You are."

Lola, tearing at her hair, says, "Oh, never mind, Vinnie! You're never satisfied!"

"I WILL be once I GET what I WANT!" Vinnie slams the coffee mug he was holding on the table, and menacingly glares at his wife.

Lola: "And... what exactly is it that you want, Vinnie?"

Vinnie grinds his teeth. "Information."

Fade to black, credits.

You know what, I changed my mind.

Episode 3: Paranoia (Spin-off festival episode)

Poppy Puff looks out her window, this time with more fear. She sees Lola's face look out again, and quickly shuts the curtain.

Roger doesn't like the look of his wild-eyed wife. He hasn't fully calmed down yet either, but he knows his wife needs to.

"Poppy, just calm down, baby. We need to think of a plan."

"Oh, Roger... I... I can't think under these circums... circumsta..." Poppy can't even finish her sentence as she sinks into the chair she fell in.

"I tell you what, baby... I'll do the thinking, and you just relax." Roger goes upstairs to think of a plan, leaving Poppy to fearfully peek out the window again.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Inside the house across the street, Lola impatiently looks at her husband. "Well, Vinnie, what do you propose we do?"

"I can't stand those two, Lola... They've been trouble ever since the fire."

Tears spring to Lola's eyes. "Oh, Vinnie, please don't bring that up again." She then bursts into tears.

Vinnie realizes his mistake. "Oh, I'm sorry, baby." He gets up and puts his arm around her.

Lola shrugs it off. "Please... don't touch me. I need some time to think." She bursts into tears again and runs upstairs.

Vinnie sadly shakes his head, then looks out the window. He sees a pufferfish give a shriek and shut her curtains. He shuts his too, pounds his hand with his fist, and says, "I will get revenge on you... Julie Wells."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Roger rushes downstairs. "I heard a shriek, baby! What's wrong?"

Poppy says, "I saw him."

Roger is startled, but tells Poppy his plan anyway. "All right, tomorrow, at 2 a.m., we sneak out of the house in our boat."

Poppy forgets her fear and looks at him with pitying eyes. "That's your plan?"

"You got a better one?" Roger asks impatiently. Poppy remembers her fear again and shakes her head quickly. "Okay then. We leave tomorrow."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Erica is absentmindedly making muffins. She can't stop thinking about her experience at the new neighbours' house.

Robert comes down the stairs. "Mornin', Eri. How ya doin'?"

Erica can't take it anymore. She puts down the egg she was holding and says, "I saw a terrible thing at the new neighbours' house."

Robert, used to his wife's overreactions, rolls his eyes and says, "Tell me about it."

"Well, it was the most bizarre thing, Robert. I simply went over to ask them to sign a get-well card for Morticia, and they seemed really... weird."

Robert impatiently asks, "Weird how, Eri?"

"Well, the man seemed really angry. And the wife... well, she just seemed spaced out... like on another planet."

Robert facepalms. "Aw, Eri... they're probably just having a fight, okay? Please don't get yourself involved."

"Okay, Robert."

Robert smiles. "Good. Now hurry up with those muffins, I'm starved."

He walks out of the room, leaving Erica alone. In her thoughts, she knew that was no ordinary fight. She needed to get to the bottom of this, and fast. But first... "These muffins are coming along swimmingly, dear."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Harold is still sitting at home, awaiting his beautiful wife's return. In case worse comes to worse, he tries to imagine a life without her...

He looks at family photos and tries to shut her out of them. He just can't do it.

He tries imagining that he will never hear that beautiful humming again. He can't do that, either.

He sighs. "Life without my beautiful Morticia is impossible. If she dies, then I too will have to die."

Eventually, he can't take the suspense. He dials the hospital's number, to see if his wife is all right.

A secretary picks up the phone. "Fishscales Hospital, front desk."

"Hello, this is Harold Fishkin. I was just wondering about my wife..."

"Oh, your wife? I'm terribly sorry, sir... Morticia has... passed on."

Harold hangs up the phone before Morticia can add, "to the other hospital in Finnville... Hello? Hello?"

The secretary hangs up the phone, wondering what happened to Harold.

Harold, meanwhile, was busy writing a suicide note, tears springing to his eyes while doing it.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The doorbell rings at the Puff household. Roger first looks to see who it is, then opens the door with a warm smile. "Hello there. I'm sorry about our behaviour yesterday. Did you want Poppy to sign the...?"

"Actually, I'm here to help with your marriage." Erica pushes past Roger and sits down on a chair, motioning Roger to lay on the couch.

Roger is perplexed. "Marriage...? What are you...? Our marriage is just fine!"

Erica rolls her eyes and tsk-tsks. "Really, now, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Actually, can I get your name first?"

"This is ridiculous. I..." Roger stops. "Did you just ask for my name?"

"Yes, sir. That's what it says in my marriage counseling book." Erica pulls out a little red book, turns to a page, and shows it to Roger. "See?"

"You... you were sent here by that couple across the street, weren't you?!" Roger grabs Erica by the throat.

Erica tries to scream, but no sound comes out.

Poppy hears the sound and rushes downstairs. She is horrified at what she sees. "Roger, WHAT are you DOING?"

"This person knows about us, Poppy. She knows our true identity, and she knows what happened!"

Erica's eyes go wider with both terror and confusion.

Roger looks at her face, realizes, and drops her. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

Erica, still terrified, shakes her head.

Roger's eyes go wide with terror this time. "Poppy, we need to get out, NOW."

"But what about your plan...?"

"NOW, POPPY!"

Scared, Poppy hops into the shotgun seat of her boatmobile. Roger follows suit and jumps in the driver's seat.

"Poppy, open the garage!"

Poppy unbuckles her seatbelt, hops out, and pushes the garage door opener button. She then hops back in quickly.

"Go, Roger, go!"

Roger puts the car in drive, and they back out of their garage. Poppy looks in the rearview mirror, and what she sees brings terror to her face.

She whispers, "Roger... look... behind you..."

Roger turns around and looks... at Lola and Vinnie standing right behind them, grinning.

"Hello, friends." Vinnie's grin grows bigger.

Fade to black, "To be continued" fades onto the screen, and fades out. Credits.

Personally, I believe this is the best episode yet. Your thoughts?

Wow. The best episode you've ever written. Can't wait for more.

More you shall recieve.

Episode 4: Hasty Decisions

We begin where we left off, with Vinnie and Lola standing behind Roger's car.

"Do something, Roger!" Poppy hollers. "Run them over!"

But Roger is too stunned to do anything, and by this time, Vinnie and Lola have already climbed into the back seat of Roger's car.

"Roger!" Poppy yells. "They're in the car!"

"I see them, P-" Before Roger can finish his sentence, Vinnie slaps a hand over his mouth. Roger tries to scream, but can't. Beads of sweat form on his face.

"Now listen very carefully... 'Roger'." I want you to step out of the car, take 'Poppy' with you, and we're going to take a nice walk to my house... and down memory lane."

"Don't do it, Roger!" Poppy shouts.

"Shut up!" Vinnie hisses. Lola pulls a gun out and puts it to Poppy's head. Poppy wails. "I said, shut it, Julie!"

"My name is Poppy!"

"ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU, AND THERE'S GONNA BE A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD!"

Poppy keeps her mouth shut.

Vinnie turns back to Roger and grins slyly. "Now then, I think you see an incentive to move your ass. Because if you don't..." he points to Poppy and puts on a mockingly sad tone, "Wifey over there's gonna be no more." His grin grows bigger, and he hisses, "And we wouldn't want that now... would we?"

Roger opens his door. "Poppy, out of the car."

Poppy and Roger reluctantly get out, and Vinnie and Lola follow.

Vinnie pulls out handcuffs and slaps them on Roger. Lola does likewise to Poppy. Vinnie gives Roger a hard push. "Let's go! We ain't got all day!"

Roger speeds up his pace.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once the coast was clear, Erica bolted out of the house and ran back to hers.

Once in, she slammed the door. "Robert! Robert!"

Robert rushes to his wife. "What is it, baby? What's wrong?"

Erica starts to tell, but then changes her mind. "Never mind," she says as she slinks upstairs.

Robert is confused, and follows her. "Never mind? What do you mean, 'Never mind'? Something's obviously bothering you."

"I can't tell you, Robert."

By this time they are both sitting on the bed. Robert puts his arms around his wife. "Erica, baby, you can tell me anything! You know that."

Erica turns to him, tears in her eyes. "Do I?"

"What... what do you mean?"

"Is it really a significant enough problem for you? Or will you just... dismiss me as 'overreacting'?"

Robert is shocked. "I...I had no idea you felt this way."

"Well, I do! I think our marriage is in trouble, Robert!" Erica stands up. "There's no communication, and when there is, it's usually you insulting me!"

Robert stands up. His face is serious.

"Babe, I love you..."

"Oh, don't start, Robert. Do you really love me? Because that phrase... is thrown around so often..."

Robert puts his arms around her. Erica tries to shrug them off, but Roger only holds her tighter.

"Baby... I am truly sorry if I have offended you, or hurt you, or anything like that." Erica looks into his big blue eyes, and they look both serious and sad. "Please, I don't wanna lose you."

Erica pries his arms away, then hugs him even tighter. "I suppose I can tell you what happened now."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Little Jimmy was going next door to borrow an egg. It just so happened that he lived next to Harold and Morticia.

He knocked on the door. When there was no answer, he knocked again. No anmswer. He notices the door is unlocked, so he lets himself in. "Mr. Harold?"

He sees Harold, hung from the banister by a rope. He notices a note on the table, but is too scared to go get it.

Beth is walking by with her pet worm, Rocky, at that moment. She notices little Jimmy standing at the McLausens' door in shock. She goes up to him. "Jimmy, are you all right?"

She places a hand on his shoulder. Jimmy points inside. Beth looks, and all she can utter is "Oh my God."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Vinnie seats Poppy down in a chair, and ties her fins together behind the chair. "Now, tell me... Julie..."

Poppy remains firm. "It's Poppy."

Vinnie looks Poppy straight in the eye. "Now listen to me, you bitch. Don't give me any of this shit about your name not being Julie. You know DAMN well what your name is, and you know DAMN well what you did!" Vinnie makes an angry noise and picks up a vase, throwing it at the back wall. It breaks.

Now Poppy is afraid. "Okay, okay... my name's Julie."

Vinnie gives a small smile. "Good girl. Now then... where were you the night of the fire?"

Julie is sweating profusely now. She shakes her head, and whispers, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You were there, Julie! You killed my son!"

Julie is horrified. "I did not!"

Vinnie is losing his patience. "We can do this the easy way..." He reaches for his gun... "...or the hard way." He holds the gun up to her head. Julie wails again. Vinnie slyly grins. "Now, then... what's it gonna be?"

Poppy gulps, then speaks in a whisper again. "It was... a hot night in July. Last summer."

"Yes? Go on."

"Roger... I mean, Randy and I were at the community centre."

Vinnie pulls the gun away. "How odd. The fire was at the community centre last summer on a par-tic-u-lar-i-ly hot night in July. Don't you think that's odd, Julie?"

Julie gulps. "Well, I was under pressure at the time. There was a gang pressuring me, to start a fire... I was part of gangs at the time. Bad gangs."

"Oh, really? How interesting." Vinnie says this through his clenched teeth. "So it was you who started this fire?"

"Oh, enough with the good cop/bad cop, Vinnie! You know damn well it was me!"

Vinnie turns on her in rage. Julie is scared once again. "Are you gonna call the cops on me?"

"Of course not..."

Vinnie starts untying her fins. Julie is grateful. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!..."

Vinnie picks up his phone's reciever and hands it to her. "You're going to do it."

Just then, there is a knock at the door, and Robert's voice is heard. "Open this door!"

Vinnie turns, and tells Poppy to stay put.

He says, "Whataya want?"

"Open this door, and release my neighbour!"

Vinnie talks innocently. "Your neighbour? What on earth are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me! Open up!"

"Just a minute..."

Vinnie reaches for his handgun. "I'll be right there..."

Fade to black, credits.

Moved to Literature forum, upon request by creator.

that70sguy92 wrote:Moved to Literature forum, upon request by creator.

Okay, thanks. I'll have a new episode up soon.

Now that termi's not here, I don't feel obligated to keep this in the Literature section.

Episode 5: Keeping Secrets

We see an outside shot of Fishscales Hospital. Cut to Vinnie lying in a hospital bed, with Lola by his side.

"I wasn't fast enough, baby... that bastard punched me out before I laid a bullet on him." Tears spring to Vinnie's eyes, a rare occurence.

Lola rubs Vinnie's forehead. "Sweetie, it'll be okay... we'll find a way to get back at those two."

"Yeah, we keep saying that, but it never happens!" Vinnie sits up in his hospital bed, frustrated. "We need a plan, Lola! And this time, it better be good."

---

Julie paces around her living room, while Randy reads the newspaper. He finally puts it down in frustration. "Poppy, stop pacing around..."

"Will you stop pretending, Randy?!" Julie stops pacing and throws her fins in the air. "They know our real names, we may as well call each other by them too."

"But, sweetie, the public can't know about our real names..."

Julie says frustratedly, "And why not?"

Randy looks at her with confusion.

"I'm tired of living a lie, Randy. I'm almost ready to turn myself in..."

Randy stands up and grasps Julie's shoulders. "That would make us quitters. We are not quitters."

"What are we quitting, Roger?! Quitting being fugitives?! We need to turn ourselves in!"

Meanwhile, Lola stands outside their window within earshot. She's holding a tape recorder. "No, you don't, Julie..."

She pockets her tape recorder. "I'll just do it for you." She walks away, grinning sinisterly.

---

The whole neighbourhood arranges for Harold Fishkin's funeral. Beth starts to cry her eyes out.

"He was such a good man, Ed... he didn't deserve to go like that."

Ed gives his wife a hug. "I know, baby... I know."

The priest, Father Julius, was just finishing his speech. "All in all, Harold Fishkin was a good husband, a good friend, and a good..."

Just then, cops rush in. "Freeze! Everybody freeze!"

"What is going on here?" demands the priest.

"We have a Julie and Randy Blowfish on the premises. Fugitives from the law! Let me see your fins now!"

Everybody is confused. Murmurs circulate through the crowd, such as "Julie...? Who's Julie...?"

Just then, Lola and Vinnie stand up.

The chief looks surprised. "You're not Julie and Randy Blowfish."

"No, we aren't..." Vinnie begins.

"...But maybe we can be of assistance." Lola says with a sly smile.

---

Julie and Randy did not go to the funeral. They were too busy arguing, still.

Just then, they hear a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Randy asks.

"This is the police. Come out with your hands up!"

Both Julie and Randy are horrified. They are even more horrified when they see Vinnie and Lola standing by the window, grinning evilly.

"Baby," Randy whispers. "Go out through the back."

Julie runs toward the back door. She harshly whispers to Randy, "Come on! What are you waiting for?!"

"You were right, Julie... I'm tired of living a lie." Randy walks toward the front door with his hands up."

"Randy, no! They'll kill you!"

"Yeah... but at least I'll die knowing that eventually, I did the right thing." As Randy approaches the front door, Julie escapes through the coral forest out back.

She knows it's time for a new town, and a new identity.

"Poppy Puff did have a nice ring to it." Julie says.

"All right. I'm running away, again... to Bikini Bottom."

---

After Harold's funeral, Erica, Robert, Beth, and Ed gather by the refreshment table.

"You know..." Erica began, "nobody's told Morticia yet about this."

"Well, are you volunteering?" Beth inquired.

"No! No, no, no! All I'm saying is... well, someone has to tell her before... she finds out on her own."

Ed, Beth, and Robert nod in agreement.

"I'll tell her," Robert volunteers. "I'll... try to break it to her gently."

Erica nods sadly, as Robert walks toward the nearest phone, and starts dialing.

Fade to black, credits.

I thought the last episode was kind of bad, but I think this one puts the spin-off back on track. Reviews appreciated.

Episode 6: The Unpredictability of Life

Outside shot of Finnville Hospital. The narrator says, "Sometimes, our best friends have the worst news. Whether they share it with you or not can determine your friendship."

Cut to Morticia in her hospital bed. She is sitting up and on the telephone.

"He's what?" she says softly. She is too shocked to say it any louder.

"But.. why would he do it, Robert?"

Cut to Robert on the other end. "Well, I think Beth found a suicide note." He turns to Beth, who is sitting not too far away. "Could you hand me the note, Beth?"

Beth walks over and hands him the note. Robert then reads it aloud, "It says, "I am sorry to all, but if my darling Morticia is not alive, then I can no longer be either. I have decided to join her in Heaven."

Morticia on the other end is stunned. "But that doesn't make any sense. I'm not dead."

"No, but for some reason Harold thought you were."

Morticia is too frazzled to say any more. "Yes, well.. thank you for telling me. Bye." She gives the phone to her nurse, and looks out the window.

"Oh, Harold..." she whispers softly to the clouds. "Why does fate haunt us like this?"

---

Robert hangs up the phone on the other end. "Well... she took it better than I expected."

"The poor dear," Beth says, fins folded. "She didn't deserve to have that happen."

"None of us deserve it," Robert says, sitting down. "Nobody deserves the death of a loved one. But sometimes, it happens. And all we can do is stick together and hope for the best."

They all hold each other's fins and each silently pray for Harold and Morticia.

---

Randy was in a chair, in the dark. He was being questioned by police.

"Now... do you plead guilty or innocent?"

"Innocent. I'd rather die than plead guilty!"

The rougher and tougher cop rubs his fins together and says, "Heh heh... that can be arranged."

"Silence, Wilson!" the first cop says harshly. He turns back to Randy. "So... you plead innocent. Well, I hope you have a damn good lawyer, because you wanna know where the trial is?"

Randy is scared, but he nods anyway.

"It's at the very city you were at before." The officer's glare and voice become more menacing. "Does 'Guppyfin City' ring a bell?"

Randy gulps. "No... it does not sound familiar at all."

The officer takes of his sunglasses. "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. So I suggest you shut your mouth before you dig yourself into a bigger hole... Randy."

Randy gulps and remains silent.

---

Erica was still getting over her grief, much like the rest of the town. She was sitting in her easy chair, reading the newspaper. Suddenly, it hit her like a ton of bricks:

"Why weren't Poppy and Roger at the funeral?" she wonders aloud.

Robert pokes his head out of the kitchen. "They didn't know Harold well, Eri... why would they have come?"

"Because the whole neighbourhood was going! It's the right thing to do!"

"Well, if it bothers you so much, why don't you ask 'em?"

"All right, I will!" Erica leaves in a huff.

---

Erica reaches their house and knocks on the door. She waits impatiently for a response. When she notices the door is unlocked, she walks right in.

"Hello? Roger? Poppy?" Erica shouts.

After some searching, she concludes that they're not home. "Huh. Why would they leave, and not bother to lock their door?" Erica was suspicious of those two from the start, but this was just too weird. She decided to stay away from their house... and their life.

---

Guppyfin Court was in session. The judge, the Honourable Lorne Order, banged his gavel on the desk.

"If the plaintiff would read the offense," the judge said.

"Thank you, your Honour." The same policeman who questioned Randy stood up. "Randy and Julie Puff have been found guilty of destruction of public property and manslaughter."

"You mentioned two people. Yet there is only one here. Why is this?"

"Well, your Honour..." the officer looks rather sheepish now. "We couldn't find the other person..."

"So you didn't even bother to ask where Julie was?"

"Well, your Honour, he probably wouldn't have given us an answer..."

"That's no excuse. This trial cannot go on until both defendants are at court. Case dismissed."

The crowd started booing and hissing, and began to riot.

"Order! ORDER!" yelled the judge, banging his gavel on the desk rapidly. But it did no good. The crowd was bloodthirsty, and they wanted justice. They took Roger out of the courtroom.

---

Julie was just settling into Bikini Bottom, when she saw a horrible headline on the newpaper.

RANDY PUFF KILLED BY BLOODTHIRSTY CROWD

She couldn't believe her husband was really gone. But she new she had to start a new life in Bikini Bottom, and forget about her past.

"I think I'll open up a boating school... yes, that sounds perfect. I'll start a new career, meet new people, and it'll be like nothing ever happened."

---

Meanwhile, Erica was still baffled over what she saw - or rather, didn't see - yesterday.

"I don't get it, Robert... why would they leave without locking their door?"

Roger hands her the latest copy of the Pacific Times. "Maybe this will answer your question."

Erica reads the front page. Her eyes go from shock to confusion. "But.. I don't understand, Robert... did they just use fake names?"

"Fugitives from the law," Robert answered. "Apparently they thought Coral Drive would be a safe place for them to hide out."

Erica is shocked.

"I... I gave a welcoming basket to fugitives!"

"I know how you feel, Eri... I'm surprised, too. But we'll get through it. The citizens of Coral Drive are a tough bunch." Robert chuckles.

Erica reads it over, still barely believing what she's reading. "Where will the madness end, Robert?"

"I don't know. Our future's certainly not on a script, that's for sure."

Erica puts her head in her fins. "Sometimes, I wish it was. Life is too unpredictable."

"Yeah, maybe..." Robert takes a sip of his coffee and gazes out the window. "But that's what makes it exciting."

Fade to black, credits.

---

I realize that some things in this episode are not accurate, but what did you think anyway?

Haha, and 70s complains about his work not getting reviewed.

Any-hoo, for those who care, here's the next episode:

Episode 7: Learning to Cope

We see Erica pushing a cart through a grocery store. She has a nervous expression on her face. The narrator says, "Ever since she found out her neighbours were fugitives, Erica has become less trusting of people. Around the grocery mart..."

A fish walks by and tips his hat to Erica. Erica fakes a grin and waves nervously.

"in the park..."

Erica is feeding some bread crumbs to scallops. Another man walks by and tips his hat. She does the same routine.

"even at home..."

Erica is in her nightgown, climbing into bed. Robert arrives home and puts his hat on the hook. He kisses his wife on the forehead. "Hey, baby... it was a tough day at work."

Erica fakes another grin and grips her sheets tightly. She says through clenched teeth, "Uh-huh..."

As Robert steps in the bathroom to take a shower, Erica grabs a mirror and scolds herself into it:

"Erica, you're being ridiculous! Imagining your own husband as a fugitive... what's gotten into you?!"

Robert emerges from the bathroom.

Erica looks at him, takes a few deep breaths, and rests her head on the pillow.

---

Morticia has been checked out of the hospital, but she wasn't quite as sunny as the beautiful weather. For she knew that when she got home, there would be no Harold to greet her.

Since she came here by cab, the hospital arranged for a cab to take her home as well. She gets in, shuts the door, and just starts bawling.

As the driver is driving, he talks to her. "Something wrong?"

Morticia fights back tears. "EVERYTHING'S wrong! My husband is dead!"

"Aw, geez, lady, I'm sorry to hear that... actually, I lost my wife not too long ago."

Morticia forgets her pain and feels sympathy for the cab driver. "Oh, dear... I'm so sorry."

"Eh... I'm still sad about it, but you gotta get over that kinda stuff. Or else it haunts you for the rest of your life."

"But... how do you get over something like that?"

"Time. It heals all wounds, at the risk of sounding cliche." The man chuckles. "But seriously, lady..."

"My name's Morticia."

"Morticia. Give this moment some time, to get over your grief. You can remember the things you loved about him. And later, you'll look back on those memories not with a heavy heart..."

The man makes a turn. "But with a joyful one."

After a while, the man drops Morticia off.

"Thank you, sir."

"Hey hey hey... my name's Bill." He holds out his hand.

Morticia smiles and shakes it. "Bill. I won't forget that name."

Bill chuckles again. "You can forget my name... just don't forget my advice."

Bill drives off.

---

Ed walks in to his house and slams the door. "That's it, I quit!"

Beth, who was calmly knitting before, looks shocked. "You quit your job?"

"Damn right. I can't stand that... that son of a bitch I had for a boss."

Beth stands up abruptly. "Are you, insane, Ed? You can't just up and quit your job! Where will we get money?"

Ed puts his hand on Beth's shoulder. "Relax, I got it all figured out."

He sits down in his easy chair. "Tomorrow, I'm opening up a store."

Beth buries her head in her hands. "Ed, you can't just open up a store! You don't know about that business!"

"Sure I can. It's not rocket science."

"Maybe not, but it's nearly as complicated!"

"Hey hey hey... let me do this, okay?"

Beth's eyes grow worried. "Ed, I never like to squash your ambitions, but..."

"But what?"

"...But I don't know if you can handle it!"

Ed gets a serious look on his face and gazes out the window. "Beth, I've been ready since the minute I quit that damn job. I've got this adrenalin in me that I've never had before."

He turns to Beth. "Just let me try, okay?"

Beth, who was still worried but saw the determination in her husband's eyes, slowly nodded.

"Thanks, babe." Ed embraces her in a hug.

Beth hugs back, but still has a worried look on her face.

---

Erica is in bed with her husband. She's still paranoid.

"Robert?"

Robert, half-asleep, grunts, "Mmm-hmm?"

"If you were a criminal, you'd tell me, right?"

Robert grunts "Mmm-hmm." Erica, somewhat more relieved, goes to sleep.

---

The next morning at breakfast, Robert offers to cook.

"I'll make you some scrambled pearls. Your favourite."

Erica says, "Okay."

As Robert cooks, Erica blurts out, "So you're not a criminal, right?"

Robert turns around. "What?!"

"Well, ever since the fugitive incident..."

Robert steps away from the pan. "Screw breakfast, you thought I was a criminal?!"

"Robert, please, try to understand..."

"What's there to understand, Eri?! Haven't I been a good husband?!"

"No, no, that's not the point..."

Robert, appearing tired, puts a fin to his forehead. "Then what is the point, Eri?"

"I'm just concerned, that's all..."

"I'm concerned too, Eri. About you. I think you need some help."

Erica stands up. "I need some help, huh?! So that's what I am to you now? A loony?"

"Well, no, but you've obviously been traumatized by this experience, and I think you need to talk to someone."

Erica retreats. "Maybe you're right, Robert... maybe I do need to talk to someone."

Robert hugs her. "I just want what's best for you."


Fade to black, credits.

I...love...CORAL DRIVE!


I want episode NOW!

I like it!

Mostly because of tvguy's threats, I bring you the next episode.

Episode 8: Save Your Trust for the People That Deserve it

We see the door to the office of Dr. P. Wader, psychiatrist. Erica walks in for her appointment.

"Hello there... Erica, is it?" the doctor asks.

"Yes," Erica answers. "Well, then sit down on the couch there. I believe we have a lot to discuss," Dr. Wader says.

Erica cautiously sits down on the couch. The doctor begins, "Now, tell me, Erica, what is the matter?"

Erica begins, "Well, it all started when I found out that the new neighbours across the street were fugitives. Ever since then, I've imagined everybody as a criminal. People walking across the street, even my own husband." She puts a fin to her head in despair.

The doctor replies, "Sometimes, when you find out a terrible thing about someone, it can affect the way you think about everybody else. It's perfectly normal."

Erica says, "Okay, it's normal. But what can I do to stop this feeling?"

The doctor says, "I think what you need is to rest. Try to collect yourself, and relax. If there's any problems, you can always come back and see me."

Erica says, "Well, I have been feeling rather flustered lately. Thanks for your advice, Dr. Wader."

"Hey hey hey.. it's what I'm here for." They shake hands, and Erica walks out of the room.

She approaches Robert in the main lobby, who is now ready to pay. As he gives the money to the secretary, he asks Erica, "How did it go?"

"Great!" Erica answers. "He just said I needed some rest to collect myself."

Robert is appalled. "And I paid $100 for that?! I could have told you that!"

Erica hugs her husband. "Maybe you need to see a financial consultant."

She smirks and walks out of the room, leaving Robert standing there, still stunned.

---

Meanwhile, in Dr. Wader's office, Dr. Wader is sitting at his desk grinning when he hears a knock at the door.

He gets up to answer it. It's the secretary, who gives Dr. Wader his pay.

"Thank you," Dr. Wader says politely. He then closes the door.

He sits down at his desk again, sinisterly counting his money.

"It's a good thing my brother took the rap for me," said "Dr. Wader." "It's great to have an identical twin."

"These people will fall for any advice I give them... bed rest? Hah! Try resting in a straitjacket, ya loony."

His grin grows bigger as he circles the room. "Yeah, it's a good thing nobody knows my true identity... Fletcher Wader, at one time a cat burglar, now a 'psychiatrist!'"

---

Morticia is sitting at home, taking the cab driver's advice. Right now, she's reading the funnies to get her mind off of Harold.

"Heh heh... Gillbert never fails to make me laugh," she says to herself.

Just then, there is a knock at her door. She gets up to answer it.

When she opens the door, it's someone from the Fed-Extra delivery company. "This is from the Wilsons, down the street. We're all really sorry about your loss."

Thinking of Harold made Morticia sad again. She refused the flowers, saying, "I don't want them."

"You don't want them? But... why not?"

"I just don't want to be reminded of this incident, okay?!"

The delivery guy backs up. "Okay, okay... sorry, lady... I'm just doing my job here."

Morticia slams the door. She then goes back to her comics. "Now, then... let's look at that FoxTrout."

---

The delivery guy is returning the flowers to the Wilson family, saying, "She didn't want them. And frankly, she was a bitch. If I didn't need the money, I would quit right now. Good-bye." He stomps off in a huff.

Scott and Jane Wilson look at the flowers in confusion. "I don't get it, Scott..." Jane says. "Why wouldn't she want these?"

"I don't know, babe." Scott scratches his head. "Maybe she... developed an allergy or something."

"Maybe you're right, Scott... let's try sending her chocolates instead."

"Yeah, okay. Also, the delivery guy was strange... Morticia was never a 'bitch' before."

"Well, if I was allergic to flowers and grieving over a death, I would be a little pissed off if someone sent me flowers, too."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Also, I think we should deliver it to her ourselves this time."

"Good Idea, Scott. I'll go to the supermarket and get some chocolates."

---

Beth has finished all the chores around the house, and she is now reading a "Now You're Cookin'" magazine. She skims the pages though, because cooking is not what's on her mind. It's her husband, Ed. Ed's made impulsive decisions like this before, and Beth is worried about what will happen.

Just then, Ed returns home. "Hey, baby," he greets while taking his shoes off.

"Hello, Ed," Beth replies.

"So I presented my idea to some building contractors... and they love it! We're building right where the Waterton landfill used to be."

"Doesn't it smell there?" Beth said reluctantly.

"Nope, the waste pit was long gone before we made plans to build there!" Ed grabs beth's shoulders. "Isn't it wonderful, Bethy? My dream is coming true!"

Beth gives a grin and a thumbs up and says, "It's great, honey!"

As Ed walks away, Beth reads her magazine again, still unsure.

---

Robert is bringing breakfast in bed to Erica. "Here you go, my resting beauty."

"Thanks for finally understanding, Robert. His advice is working!"

"Well, that's great. Let's give it about a week, then."

Erica says, "You bet! I'm so glad I don't have to worry about criminals anymore."

Robert smiles and walks out of the room.

---

Meanwhile, Fletcher Wader is at home, or rather, his brother's home.

"Ahhh, this is great. The only way anything could go wrong is if somebody discovers I'm not a real doctor."

He pauses for a moment, then smiles again. "Nah... they're all too gullible."

Fade to black, credits.

Reviews greatly appreciated.

Episode 9: Your Own Thoughts Could Betray You

Erica is feeling so happy. She no longer has a huge weight on her shoulders, and she became more trusting of people.

"That rest really did me good," she thinks to herself.

She smiles and waves at a male fish walking by. "Sure, the world is full of criminals," she continues, "but it's also full of decent people - Robert, that man, and especially Dr. Wader for helping me through this."

---

Fletcher is organizing papers in his brother's office, getting ready for another day.

His first client, a female fish with poofy red hair, walks in.

"Hello there, what's your name?" Fletcher inquires.

"My name? Oh - I'm Loretta," the fish answers, seeming rather startled.

"Well, right off the bat, I can see you have a problem," says Fletcher while he pretends to take notes. "You told me with your... bodily actions and... facial expressions." He is clearly grasping for the right words, but Loretta seems not to notice.

"Yes, I do have a problem," Loretta admits. She leans in close to Fletcher's ear. "My husband beats me at night."

"What?! Come on! You need to go to marriage counseling for that, not here!"

Loretta seems taken aback. "I do?"

"Of course! I'm not even a real doctor, and I... know... that..." Fletcher quickly realizes what he said.

Loretta is too stunned to speak.

Fletcher, grinning sheepishly, says, "Bye-bye!" as he escapes through his office window.

---

Morticia is reading the newspaper again, turning to the funnies. "Heh heh heh..." she chuckles with just a little bit of remorse in her voice.

Just then, the doorbell rings. It's the Wilsons.

Morticia gets up to answer it. Meanwhile, on the other end, Jane and Scott are giggling. "Shh... shh!" Scott whispers. "Let's surprise her."

As Morticia answers the door, the Wilsons jump up and yell, "Surprise!"

Morticia is startled, then says, "What's all this?"

"Well, we knoe how down you are about the whole Harold thing..." Scott begins.

"'The whole Harold thing'?" Morticia cuts him off. "'The whole Harold thing'? He was my husband, Scott!"

Scott says sheepishly, "Okay, that came out wrong."

"Anyway, I really don't want to be reminded of Harold. So I think ut'd be best if you just leave."

"We're just trying to help, Morticia..." Jane protests.

"Just leave me alone!" Frustrated, Morticia slams the door on the Wilsons.

Jane turns to leave in disgust. "Well! No more chocolates for her!"

---

Back at home, both Jane and Scott are still in disbelief from Morticia's reaction.

"I don't get it, Scott..." Jane says. "She's usually very friendly."

"Well, you did hear her. She doesn't want to be reminded of Harold," Scott reminds her. "I suppose the best gift we can giver her is to respect her wishes."

"I'll tell you a gift I'd like to give her - a big slap in the face!" says Jane, still fuming.

"Now, Jane..." Scott says. "Save your anger for when you need it."

Jane tries to calm down with a few deep breaths.

---

Beth was always good at math, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Sure, excelling in math has its advantages... but she's also the one who adds up the dues, as a result.

Today is no better, as she finds out that their dues are far more than they can afford.

Ed walks home with a big smile on his face. "Construction's starting on my dream job, baby! We're gonna be rich soon!"

Beth nods warily. "Uh-huh... how soon?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I was adding up what we owe to the credit card company, and... well..." Beth shows him the total.

Ed rubs his eyes and looks at it again in disbelief. "Did you forget to carry a one or something?"

"I never forget in math, Ed." Beth puts down her laptop sadly. "Don't you see, Ed? We need money. We're going broke."

Ed's lower lip quivers. "So... that means I need a job that can make money..."

"...right now," Beth finishes his sentence.

Ed sits down and puts his face in his fins.

"Sweetie..." Beth rubs his back. "It'll be okay..."

"No it won't." Ed gets up. "All this shit always falls on me. I can't stand it."

He walks up to the bedroom sadly, leaving Beth sitting on the couch in pity.

---

Erica hears a pounding knock at the door. She goes up to answer it.

When she opens the door, it turns out to be a very frazzled-looking Fletcher. "Can I... come in?" He seems out of breath.

"Of course!" says Erica in concern.

Fletcher walks in. "Actually, could I stay here for a couple days?"

"Why, what's going on, Dr. Wader?"

"Oh! My, uh, house is being renovated."

"Really? Well, okay, take as much time as you need."

"Thanks a lot... ah, Erica?"

"That's my name." Erica smiles as she pours Fletcher a cup of tea.

Fade to black, credits.

It seems short, but I still think it was decent. Reviews plz.

Episode 10: Spiritual Assistance

After Erica finishes pouring Fletcher's tea, she pours a cup for herself, and sits down to chat.

"So, what kind of things are you getting done?"

Fletcher is initially confused. "Huh?"

"For your renovations, I mean."

"Oh, right. Well, uh... we're getting the bathrooms redone."

"Oh, that's nice," Erica says, not wanting to intrude.

Despite Erica's politeness towards him, Fletcher is still nervous as he sips his tea.

"So..." says Erica, trying to make conversation, "do you enjoy your work?"

Erica's sudden start-up of conversation again catches Fletcher off guard. "My work? Oh... yes, I do enjoy it."

"Is something wrong?" Erica asks with concern. "You seem a little worried."

"Oh no, nothing's wrong!" says Fletcher abruptly, to cover up his nervousness. "I guess I'm just a little anxious about moving into a new place."

"Well, we all get that sometimes," Erica says with a smile. "More tea?"

---

Loretta is dialing 911, to report "Dr. Wader" as an impostor.

A somewhat bored policeman picks up the phone. "911, what's your emergency?"

"I was going to a psychologist named 'Dr. Wader'. While I was in a session with him, he unwittingly admitted he was not a real doctor. I want you to be on the lookout for him."

"'Dr. Wader'?" The man suddenly shows interest. "Do you know if he's any relation to Fletcher Wader?"

"How should I know?" Loretta starts to sound indignant.

"Well, it's just that we have a criminal in the local jail named Fletcher Wader... maybe if they're related, it'll be easier to find him."

Another officer turns around. "Bob, what are you doing?"

"Quiet, Phil. I'm investigating here," Bob says harshly over his shoulder. He goes back to Loretta. "So tell me... what did this 'Dr. Wader' look like?"

"Well, he was a fat purple fish with round glasses."

"Yes, yes! That sounds like Fletcher! Keep going!"

On the other end, Loretta struggles to find any other distinctive marks. "Uh... oh, yes! He had a big brown mole on the back of his neck."

The officer is taking notes quickly. "And does he look to be about in his... mid-thirties? Forties?"

"Mid-thirties sounds about right."

Bob writes it down on his notepad. "Okay then... anything else that could help to identify this character?"

"Not that I can think of," Loretta says with regret. "Do you have enough to go on?"

"Yes, I think so," Bob reassures her. "Thanks, and have a nice day."

"You too!" Loretta hangs up the phone.

Bob turns around in his chair, satisfied with his work. He then notices Phil giving him a pitying look. "Enough to go on? Bob, you are such the rookie."

"Leave me alone, Phil..." Bob turns around. "Let me have my moment in the sun."

---

Vinnie is sitting at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette. Sure, he got his revenge on the two savages who killed his son. But was that what he really wanted?

Lola decided to sleep late that day. She finally comes downstairs at about 9:00 a.m. (which is sleeping late, according to Lola). She notices her husband at the ktchen table. "Mornin', sweetie."

Vinnie grunts in acknowledgement.

"Something wrong, dear?" Lola inquires. "Usually you wait until after breakfast to smoke."

"I was just thinking about our son, Lola..."

"Oh."

"Sure, we got revenge on the people who killed him. But I'm sitting here right now and thinking... that's not what I wanted to do."

"What did you want to do then, Vinnie?"

"All I want is for our son to come back..."

Lola puts a hand on his shoulder. "Sweetie, we both know Lenny's gone to a better place."

"I know, and I know I sound selfish by wanting him back down here. But sometimes, it's just too hard."

Lola tries to think of a solution to Vinnie's depression. "I know! We've been cooped up in here for so long, we never got a chance to meet our neighbours!"

"Now, Lola, you know I'm not the introducin' type..."

Lola grabs his hand. "Then I'll introduce you. Let's go!"

---

It's been five days since Bill the cab driver dropped her off, and Morticia still hasn't been feeling better about Harold.

"Maybe I need some fresh air," she thinks to herself.

She then decides to go to the park. Maybe bring along some bread crumbs to feed the scallops.

She sits on a park bench, still feeling lonely, even with a bunch of scallops crowding around her.

"Maybe apathy is the true key to happiness," she begins. "Maybe I should just stop caring."

"No, no... happiness shouldn't be too hard to get."

"Maybe religion is the answer. Maybe I just need to go to church."

She drops the bag of bread crumbs on the ground and walks to church. "It's worth a shot."

---

Ed is standing in the unemployment line. Because, mostly due to urging from his wife, he is currently unemployed.

He looks just about as down as everyone else in the line. He decides the only way to liven things up is to make conversation.

He turns to the female behind him. "So... what are you in for?" he says, trying to smile.

"My husband's not good with money. So you could say I wear the pants in my family."

Ed is about to butt in, but the lady continues before he has a chance to. "I worked at a decent job... if you could call 'fast food chain cashier' a decent job. Then one day... it all just collapsed. Everyone was laid off, and now we have no money for ourselves or our kids."

Ed is shocked, so the lady decides to ask him a question. "What are you in for?"

"Oh, well... you really worked at a fast food chain?"

"Yessir. Ever been to a McHarvey's?"

"No, can't say that I have."

"Well, neither had anybody else in the past few weeks. I don't know whether it was a health kick, or everybody was eating at home, or what happened... but everybody stopped coming."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that," Ed says.

"Yeah, yeah. I don't need sympathy. So, what's your story?"

"Well, it's really simple... I guess you could say I bit off more than I could chew."

"Uh-huh. Sounds like my husband. He was always spendin' and never savin'."

A lump of guilt forms in Ed's throat. Could he have been the one to plunge himself and Beth into bankruptcy? "Maybe I should have just kept my job," he whispers to himself.

"What was that?" the lady asks.

"Nothing."

---

Robert enjoys his job as a caterer. He gets to go to parties, dances, celebrations... all that jazz. But the best part of all was that he gets to pursue his passion: food.

He also enjoys what he does after a hard day's work: he comes home to his beautiful wife, Erica, usually without any surprises.

However, this time around, when Robert opens the door, it's not just Erica he sees...

"Say, aren't you that doctor that helped out Erica?" Robert inquires.

"Yes, I am. My house is being renovated, and your wife was generous enough to let me stay here."

Robert pulls off a fake grin. "Uh-huh... Erica, can you help me with some paperwork upstairs?"

Erica rolls her eyes. "Helping Robert with paperwork" always meant she was in for a long talk about something that she did.

So when Erica and Robert reach upstairs, Erica gets right to the point. "What's the problem, Robert?"

"The problem is, I don't want some guy I've barely met staying at our house for God knows how long!"

"He's not just 'some guy', Robert! Without him, I'd still be completely paranoid!"

"Fair enough... but I still don't like you inviting an almost-stranger into our house without consulting me."

"All right Robert, I'm sorry." Erica looks ashamed.

Now Robert is feeling a little guilty for reading Erica the riot act. "Aw, you were just trying to do the right thing."

"So he can stay?" Erica brightens.

"I guess..." says Robert, still unsure about this whole thing but not wanting to crush Erica's pride.

Erica gives Robert a big hug. "Thank you, Robert. It won't be for very long."

Robert gives Erica a quick kiss on the forehead and wanders out of the room.

---

"Ding-dong!"

The doorbell rings at the Wilson's house. Scott gets up to answer it.

When he opens the door, it turns out to be Vinnie and Lola.

"Hi, neighbours!" Lola says. Both of them are grinning, though Vinnie's is obviously fake.

"Neighbours?" Scott says, confused. "Have we met?"

"Well... no," begins Lola, "But now we can!"

"I don't remember seeing a moving truck," Scott says.

"That's because we were here a long time ago," says Lola, getting a little irritated.

"Um... okay," says Scott.

Lola begins to grin again. With both of them just standing there grinning, Scott gets a little creeped out. He grins and waves, then shuts the door.

Vinnie relaxes his smile and rolls his eyes. "Well, that went well."

"Oh, Vinnie, come on... maybe the next neighbours will get it."

---

Morticia enters the local church, not sure of what to pray for. She goes into a pew and kneels.

"Father..." Morticia begins. "It's been a couple days now since my beloved Harold died... I've tried to get over my grief, but it's so hard."

"I need some help, God... I'm drifting away from all my friends and neighbours. I don't know what I'm doing wrong... or even if I'm doing something wrong."

"I think it would be good to know if my Harold is all right. Can you just give me a sign? Anything?"

She looks up at the church's roof, yet she sees nothing.

Just then, she notices the stained-glass windows seeming to sparkle in the sunlight. She can't remember the windows ever sparkling like that.

She looks up towards Heaven and simply says, "Thank you." Tears of joy filling her eyes, she walks out with her head held high. Joan Osborne's "One of Us" plays during this, as well as the following montage of events.



---

Ed is still waiting in the unemployment line, still feeling guilty about possibly being the cause of his own bankruptcy.

---

Fletcher is looking over the suitcase filled with his brother's possessions. He thinks about his brother being in jail, and how awful it must be. He shakes off the feeling and gets ready for bed.

---

Jimmy, a kid in the neighbourhood, says his prayers before going to bed. The music fades out as he says, "And one big extra-special prayer for all my friends in the neighbourhood... because sometimes they just need one."

Fade to black, credits.

---

I hope it was worth the wait.

Episode 11: Social Status

Fletcher wakes up in Erica's guest room. He goes to the kitchen to see if breakfast is ready.

Robert, as usual, is up early making breakfast. This time around, it's a smorgasboard of eggs, bacon, toast, sausages, you name it.

He notices Fletcher. "Oh, good morning!"

Fletcher responds, "Yeah... you too."

Robert turns back to cooking the eggs. "So, when do you head off?"

Fletcher doesn't really understand his question. "Well, my house will take a while to be renovated, so it's just a matter of time."

"No, I mean when do you head off to work?"

A lump forms in Fletcher's throat as he recalls what happened at work. But he lnew he couldn't just stay for the whole day. "Um... 8:00."

"Oh, okay. In that case, you have time to enjoy some breakfast," Robert says with a smile.

Fletcher happily sits down. Maybe a little food will calm his nerves.

Robert turns back to the eggs. "How do you like your eggs?"

"Scrambled," Fletcher replies. Inside, he wishes the eggs would hurry up and cook.

---

Bob knows he has to find this Dr. Wader. He's a rookie in the police department, and his colleagues still think lowly of him. If he finds this man and solves the case, it would change everything.

First, he looks over his notes. "Fat purple fish... round glasses..." he mutters to himself. He then decides to draw a picture of the description he has.

When he finishes the picture, he looks it over.

"Hmm... it seems accurate... but how can I know for sure?"

He then decides that writing out the description is a better idea.

"I'm going to solve this case," he mutters to himself. "THEN they'll respect me! No more condescension! No more talking down! I am going to rise to the top!"

He finishes writing. "All right, time for the photocopy machine."

---

Vinnie stomps into his house angrily, with a concerned Lola following close behind. "We are never doing that again!" Vinnie proclaims.

"Sweetie, listen to reason..." Lola protests.

"What reasoning do you get from that?! I'm so embarrassed, Lola... I'm never showing my face out there again!"

"Relax, Vinnie," Lola soothes. "It was just a first impression." She sits down across the table from him. "Okay, maybe it was a little awkward, but sometimes that happens."

"It was not just a 'little' awkward, Lola," Vinnie argues. "That was painful. Where did you get such an idea?"

Lola, frustrated, throws her hands up in the air. "I don't know, Vinnie!" She gets up. "All I know is you can mope around the house, or you can MOVE ON." She walks upstairs angrily.

Vinnie, depressed, eyes his pack of cigarettes. He quickly takes one out, lights it, and begins to smoke again. He usually only smoked around 3 times a day, but when he got depressed, he went through at least a pack. As he puffs on his cigarette, he begins to think about Lola.

"It's not fair she got stuck with a degenerate like me," he admits to himself sadly. "She is a beautiful, smart, funny woman and deserves better."

He puts out his cigarette and stands up with determination. "I'm going to give Lola the man she deserves." He walks upstairs.

---

Morticia is feeling a lot happier, finally. She is over her grief and ready to get back to the real world.

She decides to start by going to the Wilsons' house and apologizing for her ghastly behaviour.

The Wilsons hear a knock at the door. Jane gets up to answer it.

When she opens the door, she is both surprised and confused to see Morticia there. "Hi... Morticia," she says in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

Morticia, hands folded behind her back and face full of remorse, says, "Well, I'd just like to apologize for my behaviour when you came over to my house the other day."

Now Jane is even more surprised, and a little guilty for thinking badly of Morticia before. "Well, that's quite all right. Sometimes we all... lose our heads," she chuckles good-naturedly.

Morticia smiles. "I'm glad I have such forgiving friends like you."

Jane smiles back. After a little while of smiling at each other though, it becomes a little awkward. Jane coughs, and says, "So! Would you like to come in?"

"I'd love to," says Morticia, still smiling.

Morticia walks into Jane's house, and Scott notices her. "Morticia! How are you doing?"

"I'm doing just fine, Scott..." Morticia replies.

She gazes towards the sky. "...Just fine."

---

Ed knocks on his former boss's door nervously. It has the name "Mr. Seascrubber" in big gold letters.

Mr. Seascrubber hears the knock and calls, "Come in."

Ed opens the door. When Mr. Seascrubber sees who it is, he looks disgusted. "Ed? What brings you back here?"

"Well, sir, I'd like to ask for my job back," Ed says nervously.

Mr. Seascrubber stares at Ed sternly. "I see," he says. "Sit down, Ed."

Ed sits down, still nervous.

"So, Ed..." Mr. Seascrubber begins. "Tell me why I should give you your job back."

"Well, sir... being at this place, I was a hard-working employee. When I quit, it was, uh, to pursue new opportunities. Unfortunately, I need money now, so I need a good solid workplace I can trust."

"The problem, Ed, is that when you quit, I hired someone to take your place."

"You replaced me?" Ed says, more hurt now than nervous.

"Well, that's what a boss has to do when somebody leaves," Mr. Seascrubber replies. "Ed... when you left this company, it proved to me you were irresponsible. So I can't hire you back."

For a second, Ed looks as though he's about to explode, then he calms himself down. "Fine," he says. "Don't hire me back."

He gets up to leave. "I guess I can try to sustain my wife and I by working at some fast-food restaurant..."

Mr. Seascrubber looks at Ed pityingly. "Now, you know that empathy crap doesn't work on me."

"Of course it doesn't," Ed scoffs. "You know why? Because you're soulless. You don't care about people, you just care about money."

"Mr. Flounder, I'm sorry you're running low on money, but this isn't American Idol. I don't hire people based on sob stories."

"Yeah, always gotta keep the business running, right? Keep on raking in that cash, you son of a bitch."

Mr. Seascrubber stands up, furious, "Out of my office! NOW!"

"I was just leaving." Ed glares at his former boss one last time, then storms out.

---

Fletcher returns to Erica's house after "work". In reality, he was simply trying to keep a low profile.

He enters the house, takes off his shoes, and walks toward the TV.

"Hello, Dr. Wader," Erica calls from the kitchen.

"Oh, hi Erica," Fletcher replies.

Erica walks out of the kitchen and sits down next to him. "How was your day?"

"Oh, fine," says Fletcher, hoping the conversation about his day would end there.

"It must be great to know you're helping so many people," Erica continues.

Fletcher starts to become uneasy. "Uh... yeah."

"I mean, I'm perfectly content with being a homemaker," Erica continues. "But sometimes I aspire to be something a little more."

"Uh-huh," says Fletcher, turning on the TV. "What shows do you like?"

"I've always enjoyed Dr. Gill," Erica replies.

"Oh," says Fletcher, subtlely making a face. He turns to Dr. Gill.

On the TV, Dr. Gill is consulting a married couple. "Oh! There's so much wrong with you, it's hard to know where to begin."

Fletcher reacts as if Dr. Gill was talking to him. "Let's start with the husband here," Dr. Gill continues. "You're ruthless, despicable, and a cheat. I don't know how anyone can live with you."

"I'm... going to go over my psychiatric notes," says Fletcher, getting up.

"Oh, okay," says Erica.

As Fletcher climbs the stairs, Dr. Gill's words echo in his head. "Ruthless... despicable... a cheat..."

He tries to shake it off as he enters the guest bedroom. He takes out a picture of him and his brother as children.

"Look at him... Mr. Perfect... Mr. PhD. Mr. 'My brother's such a degenerate.'"

He put the picture back in his suitcase and laid on the bed. "Why couldn't I turn out like him?"

He sheds a tear.

Fade to black, credits.

Personally, I think the scene with Ed and his boss is one of my best written scenes. But I'm just one biased person. What are your thoughts?

Episode 12: Okay, Bye

Dr. Gill's credits roll on Erica's TV screen. She decides to turn off the TV and get dinner ready. But when she turns off the TV, she hears sobbing sounds coming from the guest room. She walks over to the guest room slowly and knocks on the door.

"Dr. Wader?" Erica calls. "Are you all right in there?"

On the other side, Fletcher knows he needs to cover up why he's crying. "Well, uh... it's just so sad, what some of my patients have went through!" he lies as he continues to sob.

Erica opens the door. "I can imagine... but you're a very good doctor, Dr. Wader! You'll help them just like you helped me," she reassures him.

"I know..." says Fletcher, sniffling up the last of his tears. It's just that... sometimes these stories really tear at my heart, and I need to let it out."

"That's okay, it makes you human," Erica says. Then she notices the picture of Dr. Wader. "I thought you were studying your psychiatric notes..."

"Oh, yes! I uh, was," says Fletcher, now over his sadness and fully focused on covering up his identity. "Then I just started crying over it, so I took out this picture of me to calm myself down." He shows Erica the picture. "Heh heh. Pretty handsome, eh?"

"I guess..." says Erica awkwardly. "Well, if you need anything, just call me."

"Okay," replies Fletcher.

Erica walks out of the room and back downstairs to make dinner. Fletcher then gives the picture of his brother a glare, and puts it back in his suitcase.

---

Bob is taping up copies of his wanted description of Dr. Wader all around Waterton. He tapes up the second last one, and then carries the last one around with him.

A lady walks by with her son. "Excuse me Ma'am, have you seen this man?" Bob inquires.

The lady takes a look at the description. She shakes her head in regret.

"Okay, have a nice day!" Bob grins.

A man and his son walk by. Bob shows the man the description, and says more or less a duplicate of what he said to the previous parent.

The man also gives a similar reaction, and Bob merely smiles and says, "Have a nice day!"

When the man leaves, Bob pouts. "This is going to be a long day. But it'll be worth it if I... Oh, hello Miss, have you seen this man?"

The lady looks at the description and shakes her head. "Okay, you have yourself a nice day!" Bob grins.

The lady leaves. "It'll be worth it if I catch this bastard," Bob says under his breath. "Oh, hello Sir!..."

---

Lola is laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She is thinking about Vinnie and what he must be going through.

Just then, she hears a knock at her bedroom door. She raises her head. "Yes?" she calls.

Vinnie opens the door with a smile. "Hey, Lola."

Lola is still hurt from what happened earlier. "What do you want?"

Vinnie replies, "I want to make amends."

Lola now sits up completely. "What do you mean?"

"I've been a terrible husband to you, Lola..." Vinnie continues. "I want to make it up to you. Want to go out for dinner? Dancing? Name your price."

"My price?" Lola sounds insulted again. "You think you can buy my forgiveness with money?"

"No, that's not what I..." Vinnie argues. He then sighs and says softly, "Lola, I couldn't ask for a better wife than you. You're beautiful, smart, caring... and you got stuck with me. It's just not fair. I guess the greatest gift I could give you is a better husband."

Lola smiles. "There's no need for that, Vinnie..."

She motions him to come closer. "...Because I think I just found him."

Vinnie gives Lola a genuine smile, then follows her motion to bed.

---

Fletcher comes home from yet another day at "work". Erica is sitting on the couch, watching Soap Oprah.

"Oh, hi Dr. Wader," acknowledges Erica. She then snaps her fingers. "You know what? I just realized something! You haven't met our neighbours yet!"

A look of terror crosses Fletcher's eyes. "Well, I really have a lot of work to do tonight..."

"Oh," Erica says. "Well, what time do you think you would be free?"

"H-hard to say," stammers Fletcher, clutching at his tie. "You see, the workload for psychiatric work is very high."

"Oh," Erica says sadly. "Well, perhaps I'll bring them over here to see you! Yes, that's an excllent idea!"

"Oh, no, no, no," Fletcher says. "I really don't like to be disturbed while working."

"But the neighbours here are so nice!" Erica protests. "You must meet them!"

Fletcher becomes more uneasy, as he realizes Erica is not going to give this up. "But - well - it'd be futile! I'm moving back when the renovations are done anyway!"

"Come on, Dr. Wader!" Erica is starting to grow impatient.

"No! Now, I have lots of work to do, and I don't want to be disturbed!" Fletcher says firmly. He stomps upstairs with his briefcase.

"Hmmph!" Erica pouts. Then she realizes, "Maybe he needs to develop his social skills."

She walks over to the phone and starts dialing Morticia's number. "He'll thank me for this later."

---

The phone rings in Morticia's house. She rushes to pick it up.

"Hello?" she says.

"Hi, Morticia? It's Erica. Call as many people you know in the neighbourhood and tell them to come over for a... surprise," Erica says slyly.

"Well, okay," Morticia says happily. "This neighbourhood could use a big surprise."

"Excellent! Tell everyone to meet at 5:00. Okay, bye!" Erica hangs up.

Morticia hangs up her phone and goes over to her list of phone numbers on the refrigerator.

---

"A surprise at Erica's house?" Scott asks. "Sure, we'll be there at 5! Okay, bye."

---

"Well, Ed's trying to apply for a job, but I can come over," Beth says. "Okay, bye."

---

"Okay, bye," another neighbour named Allison says as she hangs up the phone. She turns to her son, Jimmy. "Jimmy, there's a big surprise at our friend Erica's house. Do you wanna go?"

"Yay! Surprise! Surprise!" Jimmy cheers.

---

Everybody who Morticia called shows up at Erica's house. Erica sees the crowd of people and opens the door.

"Welcome, everybody!" she says cheerfully. "I'd like to introduce a temporary new neighbour living with us: His name is Dr. Wader, and he is very good at his work!"

Everybody applauds. Meanwhile, Fletcher is sitting in the guest room and hears the applause. "What is going on?" he wonders aloud.

Erica says downstairs, "Let me go get him. You see, he's very shy."

She walks upstairs and opens the guest room door. "Dr. Wader, can you come downstairs with me?"

"What's going on down there? I hear a lot of people."

"Oh, they're just at the house next door. It's a, uh, baby shower. I just need you to help me in the kitchen."

"Well, okay," says Fletcher, still unsure. He walks downstairs with Erica.

"HI, DR. WADER!" the crowd cheers. Fletcher screams.

"Oh, come on, Dr. Wader," Erica scolds playfully. "They don't bite."

Fletcher turns to Erica angrily. "You lied to me!"

"What's the big deal?" Erica protests. "They're just our neighbours."

"Eh... you wouldn't understand. I'm going back upstairs," Fletcher says.

"Dr. Wader, get back here!" Erica grabs him by the collar.

---

Bob is patrolling down a street called Coral Drive. He sees a crowd of people at one person's doorstep.

"This looks suspicious," he mutters. He stops the car in front of Erica's driveway.

He gets out of his car and asks a person near the back of the crowd, "What is going on here?"

"Apparently there's a new neighbour who's pretty shy," the man replies.

Bob pushes through the crowd, checking to see if he finds the man he's looking for. "Excuse me, pardon me... Excuse me, pardon me..."

Then he realizes that the main attraction (re: the new neighbour) is the culprit! "Stop right there, Dr. Wader!" Bob proclaims.

Fletcher looks back. "No...no!"

"Yes, yes! The jig is up, Dr. Wader. You're under arrest for impersonating a doctor."

He turns back to his car. "I'll go get my cuffs."

If looks could kill, Erica's steel-melting glare at Fletcher would have done the trick. "I... trusted you," Erica says through gritted teeth.

She turns to the crowd. "What about you guys?! Any potential murderers I should know about? How many of you have robbed banks?! Did someone just come here to rape me? IS EVERYBODY A CRIMINAL?!"

Morticia walks up to Erica. "Sweetie, we've been your neighbours for so long... you can trust us."

"Can I?" Erica challenges. "Because whenever I do trust someone... this happens!" She indicates Fletcher, whom she is still holding by the collar.

Fletcher grins sheepishly and waves at the crowd. The crowd boos and heckles Fletcher.

"All right, all right, settle down, people..." Bob pushes his way through the crowd once again. He puts the cuffs over Fletcher's fins. "See you in court, ya bastard." He escorts him to the police car as the crowd cheers.

Erica just looks at Fletcher with a pained expression. Fletcher looks back, and glares.

Fade to black, credits.

Episode 13: Just What We Need for Happiness (spin-off festival episode)

Erica is right back where she started: not being able to trust anyone. All she does now is sit in her easy chair and think, because her own thoughts are the only ones she trusts.

Each time Robert comes home, he gets progressively concerned about Erica. "Eri," he finally says one day, "I think we need to get you to another doctor."

"Why?" Erica asks harshly. "So he can give me unprofessional advice, make me believe I'm cured, and then I find out he's another criminal?"

Robert shakes his head. "Eri, you've just had some recent bad experience with new people. For every dishonest person out there, there's an honest one."

"Really?" says Erica, still harsh. "Well, over the past few weeks, I've met THREE dishonest people."

"And who are some honest ones that you know of?" Robert challenges her.

"Well, I trust myself, obviously," Erica begins. "And then... and then..." she can't even finish her sentence.

Robert sits down in the easy chair next to Erica's. "Erica Finley, do you mean to tell me that you don't trust your own husband?" sounding both grave and hurt.

Erica starts to cry and shakes her head. She sobs, "You're right, Robert! There is something wrong with me!"

Robert grabs her shoulders. "Listen to me, Erica. You're going to put all your recent past behind you, you're going to start trusting people again, and you are GOING to go to a legitamate doctor who will help you with your problem. Now, do you trust me?"

He holds out his hand for Erica to grab. Erica sniffles up the last of her tears, says, "Okay," and grabs his hand.

---

Bob is driving to the police station with Fletcher in the back seat, happy as a clam. He whistles while he drives.

Meanwhile, Fletcher is in the back seat, stewing in his anger. All this time of staying out from behind bars, and now he's gone and fucked it up.

Bob notices Fletcher's expression from the rearview mirror and decides to stop whistling before things got ugly. It's quiet for the rest of the ride.

They finally arrive at the police station, and Bob escorts Fletcher inside.

Sergeant Martin Foulflounder is sitting at the front desk. "Sarge, I've solved the case of the phony doctor," Bob says smugly.

"Cut the crap, Bob," Martin replies. He then turns to Fletcher and says, "Dr. Peter Wader, eh? And I use "doctor" very lightly. Well, we have an empty cell for you to use. You can wait for your trial there. Oh, and if I were you, I'd hire a good lawyer."

"C'mon, buddy," Bob says to Fletcher as he escorts him to his cell.

"Cell 23. The only one here with a vacancy. Get in there!" Bob grunts as he shoves Fletcher in. He then the door.

"Oh, before I go... I'd just like to thank you. You're the first case I solved."

Fletcher growls and struggles to break free. Bob simply chuckles and says, "Not likely, pal. These things are made of 100% steel. Enjoy your time in the stony lonesome."

He walks away whistling. Fletcher sits down to stew in his anger once again.

---

Now that Vinnie has been devoted to pleasing his wife, their marriage is much stronger. Vinnie will even go on walks around the neighbourhood with Lola, something he would have never agreed on before.

They come to the Coral Drive Park. Vinnie sits on a bench and pulls out his pack of cigarettes. He takes one out and lights it. Then, noticing the distaste on Lola's face, he asks, "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Oh... it's nothing," says Lola, quickly softening.

"Come on baby, I can tell when something's wrong," Vinnie persuades. "What is it?"

"It's just... I never liked your smoking habit," Lola admits.

Vinnie is a little taken aback, but trying to be a good husband, he asks, "Do you want me to quit?"

Lola is stunned. "You would do that... for me?"

"Of course," Vinnie smiles. "I would do anything for you, remember that."

"Oh, thank you, Vinnie!" Lola wraps her arms around him in a hug.

Vinnie sounded sure on the outside, but inside he was doubting what he just said. It was going to be tough, if he was going to follow through with this...

---

Fletcher is now up for trial. He has hired a lawyer named Parker Gillsworth.

The judge bangs his gavel. "Order in the court!" he shouts.

He turns his attention to Fletcher. "Peter Wader, you have been accused of impersonating a doctor. How do you plead?"

Finding a loophole (in that he's not actually Peter Wader), Fletcher replies confidently, "Not guilty!"

"Does the prosecution have any witnesses?" the judge continues.

Bob stands up. "We do, your Honour," he replies. "The prosecution calls Loretta Whiteside to the stand."

Loretta walks up to the stand, and Fletcher grows worried as he recognizes that face as the last patient he saw.

"Now then..." Bob begins. "Do you swear to say the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God?"

"I do," Loretta replies.

"Describe what happened on your scheduled appointment with 'Dr. Wader'," Bob requests.

"Well, I came into his office because I thought I had a problem," Loretta begins. "He then said, and I quote, 'You need to go to marriage counseling for that, not here!'" Fletcher gulps. "And then when I replied, 'I do?' he said, and I quote again, 'I'm not even a real doctor and I know that!'"

The jury gasps, and Fletcher tents his fingers nervously.

Bob points to Fletcher. "Is that the man whom you had an appointment with?" he asks.

"Yes, it was," Loretta replies.

Fletcher, despite pleading "not guilty", is looking very guilty now.

"That's all we need to hear from you," Bob replies. "You may sit."

Loretta walks back to her seat.

"Does the prosecution have any further witnesses?" the judge continues.

"We have one more, your Honour," Bob replies. "The prosecution calls Jodie Perch to the stand."

As Jodie walks up to the stand, Fletcher recognizes her as the secretary from Gillbert Mental Hospital. He grows even more nervous.

"Do you swear to say the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God?" Bob asks.

Jodie replies, "I do."

Bob begins, "When did you hear that 'Dr. Wader' was an impostor?"

"About when Loretta ran out of his office and told me about it."

"Uh-huh. What did she say exactly?"

"She said, 'Dr. Wader is an impostor!' and ran out."

"And did you believe her?"

"I didn't to begin with. But now that I'm here, I have no choice but to believe it." Fletcher gulps.

"I see. You may sit, Ms. Perch."

Jodie sits back down. The judge turns to Parker. "Does the defense have any witnesses to call up?"

"No, your Honour," Parker replies.

Fletcher turns to Parker in shock. "What?!"

"I couldn't find anyone to help plead your case, Fletcher... sorry."

Fletcher is seething with anger. The judge bangs his gavel and says, "Peter Wader, you have been found guilty as charged! I sentence you to 5 years in prison."

Policemen come up to Fletcher to take him away. As he is taken away, he glares at Parker one last time.

---

Morticia wakes up one morning with a great idea to restore some happiness in this neighbourhood: she decides to host a party.

She makes a guest list, consisting of all the people she knows in the neighbourhood. Then she makes a list of supplies.

"This is turning out really well," she says to herself as she completes the supplies list. "Now then... when should the party be?"

She marks next week on her calendar. "This will restore some cheer in the neighbourhood," she smiles. Then her stomach rumbles.

"Breakfast... I need some breakfast," she says as she brings herself down to earth. Still, as she pours herself some bran flakes, she is still humming to herself.

---

Scott reads a book with a grim expression on his face. Jane walks downstairs and says, "Good morning!" to Scott cheerfully. She then goes to brew some coffee.

She then notices the grim expression on Scott's face. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking about the state of our neighbourhood," Scott says sadly. "Everyone's so beaten down these days... it kills me."

"Aw," Jane comes over and kisses Scott on the forehead. "You know, women like a guy with lots of empathy," she says sexily.

"Thanks for the offer, Jane, but I'm just not up for it," Scott says regretfully.

Jane gets a pouting look on her face. Just then, the phone rings.

Scott picks it up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Scott? It's Morticia," Morticia says on the other end.

"Hi, Morticia," Scott replies. "What's going on?"

"Well, I'm sorry to disturb you so early in the morning, but I was planning a party and just couldn't wait to invite the guests. Can you come on the Tuesday of next week?"

"Oh, it's no problem!" replies Scott, ecstatic that some joy will be restored in the neighbourhood. "Of course, Jane and I wouldn't miss this!"

"Okay, see you then! Bye!" Morticia hangs up the phone. She then crosses off Scott and Jane's number on her list. "One down..." she looks at her list. "Twenty-two more to go!"

On the other end, Jane asks Scott, "What wouldn't we miss?"

"Morticia's having a party! It's just what we need to restore some happiness in this neighbourhood."

Jane smiles. "Well, I'm happy to see you so happy, Scott." She kisses him on the forehead.

Scott smiles slyly. "So, can I take advantage of your previous offer?"

"Right this way, sir," Jane says knowingly. Scott follows Jane upstairs.

---

Ed walks home with a grimace on his face. "Well, I finally got a job!" he says. While most people would say this happily, he says it with a tinge of bitterness.

Beth drops her newspaper. "That's great, honey!" She gives him a hug. "So, where is it?"

"Well!" Ed begins. "You know the place called "Taco Shell"?

Beth's smile disappears. "Oh no, Ed, you didn't..."

"Scout's Honour," Ed replies sadly. "I went from being a great business man to a deep fat fryer."

"Oh, Ed..." Beth says sympathetically. Ed sits on a stool and cries.

"Why me, Beth? Why do I make such stupid decisions?"

"Well, I'm sure we'll get enough money to make ends meet, sweetie..." Beth says as she rubs her husband's back. "Anyway, would you like to hear my good news?"

"Only if it's better than mine," Ed replies.

"Well, I got a call from Morticia this morning... she's invited us to a party next Tuesday! Doesn't that sound fun?"

Ed looks up at his wife. "What time is it?"

"3:00," Beth replies.

Ed straightens up. "Yeah... I could probably make it," he says, smiling and putting his arm around Beth's shoulder. "You know, this is just what we need to restore happiness in this tired old neighbourhood."

"I thought it might cheer you up," Beth smiles.

---

Erica and Robert have just returned from Erica's psychiatric appointment. They are walking into their house.

"Well, Erica, how do you feel?" Robert asks hopefully.

"Well, I'm still not sure about anything... but I'm becoming more sure with each step, I guess."

Robert puts his arm around Erica and kisses her forehead. "That's the spirit," he says. Just then, he notices a flashing light on their answering machine. He presses a button.

"You have *1* new messages," the robotic answering machine voice says. "Message *1*."

"Hi, guys." Morticia's voice comes over the machine. "I'm just calling to invite you to my party. It's at 3:00 next Tuesday. Please RSVP. I hope you can come! Bye!" *click* "End of messages," the computerized voice finishes.

"Well, Erica? Do you want to go?" Robert asks.

Erica smiles. "You know what, Robert? This may just be what I need to restore some trust in my neighbourhood. Of course we'll go!"

"See, Erica? You're becoming cured already!" Robert proclaims.

---

Bob walks into his regular post, taking 911 calls. But he does it with more pride this time.

Phil notices him. "Okay, I'll bite," he says, rolling his eyes. "What are you so giddy about?"

"WELL..." Bob says, overexaggerating. He sits down, and asks, "You remember that case where you said I didn't have enough to go on? Where you said I was, and I quote, 'such the rookie'?"

"Yeah, why?" Phil grunts.

Bob chuckles. "Well, Professor Big Mouth..." he pulls out photo evidence. "I solved it."

Phil's eyes brighten up. He shakes hands with Bob. "Good job, rookie- er, Bob," he says. "Sorry I doubted you."

"Oh, that's okay, Phil..." Bob relaxes in his chair. "That's just fine."

Episode 14: Guilty Party (Festival episode)

Robert and Erica are getting ready for the big party. Well, actually, Robert is already ready while Erica is deciding between two dresses.

"Ooh... pink or blue? Pink or blue?" Erica repeats in a frazzled manner.

"Erica, just pick one!" Robert says impatiently.

"But I love both colours, Robert!" Erica protests. "How can I pick just one?"

Robert covers his eyes and starts pointing at them, going, "Eenie, meenie, minie, mo..."

Erica just rolls her eyes, but Robert ends up picking the pink dress, so Erica decides to put it on.

---

While the residents of Coral Drive prepare for Morticia's party, Bob is coming home from a hard day's work.

His wife, Stacy, is sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. She then notices Bob and says, "Hi, sweetie. How was your day?"

Bob, exhausted and a little grumpy, says, "Don't get me started." He slumps down in a chair.

"What's wrong?" his wife asks.

"Well, ever since I solved the case of the guy impersonating a doctor, now people think I'm some sort of miracle worker or something. Every time there's a case, I usually have to be there."

Stacy is a little confused. "But aren't you honoured that they respect you now?"

Bob shakes his head. "At this point, I'd rather be that rookie policeman that nobody respects."

Stacy throws her hands up. "Bob, I don't think the problem is your co-workers... I think it's you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you never seem satisfied with what you do, whether you're popular or not. You always find something to bitch about. And frankly, I'm sick of hearing about your 'crappy day at work'," Stacy says, impersonating Bob at the end.

Bob stands up in frustration. "What, do you think being a policemanm is all glamour and glitz? It's not! I bet you couldn't even last a day in my shoes without bitching."

"I couldn't, could I?" Stacy now has a devious look on her face.

Bob grows worried. "Stace, I know that look. What are you planning?"

Stacy just asks, "What if I really was in your shoes for one day?"

"What are you talking about?" Bob demands.

"How about tomorrow, I take your place at work? I'll see how I like it, and then I'll see if your bitching is justified."

Bob actually seems to like the idea. "Well... I could use a day off."

"All right then, it's settled," Stacy proclaims. "You live my life for a day, and I'll live yours."

They shake hands, and Bob says, "Deal," with a big smile on his face.

---

Ever since Vinnie decided to go cold turkey on the cigarettes, his life has been a living hell. He's developed a twitch he never had before, he's always feeling anxious, and he's also packing on the pounds, because he's using food as a substitute for his cigarettes.

Right now, he's munching on a cookie in an edgy manner. Lola notices this change in Vinnie as well, and decides to sit down and ask him, "How's it going with no cigarettes?"

Vinnie didn't want his wife to think he was suffering, so he manages a grin despite being miserable, and says, "Fine!"

Lola gives him a look that says, "Yeah, right." "Now how's it really going, Vinnie?" she asks.

Vinnie knows he can't hide his feelings from his wife, so he says, "Well, it's been pretty bad so far."

"I'll say. I've never seen you so miserable," Lola says sympathetically.

"Oh, Lola," Vinnie moans. "I'm a very weak man. I may seem tough at times, but I'm really very weak. I don't know if I can take this..."

Lola puts a hand on Vinnie's shoulder. "Vinnie, I never asked you to give your cigarettes up cold turkey."

"I just wanted to find a way to please you," Vinnie says, ashamed.

Lola smiles warmly. "And you have. By doing this for me, you've pleased me in more ways than you can imagine. It's not the action that makes me happy, it's the fact that you wanted to do something to show you really cared for me. And it worked."

Vinnie manages to smile, too. Lola says, "You can take as long as you like to break the habit, Vin. Just try to give it up gradually, okay?"

Vinnie hugs Lola. "Okay, babe. Anything for you."

Lola walks out of the room, and Vinnie pulls out a stash of unused cigarettes from his pocket, and lights one up.

---

Fletcher is stewing with anger. He thought he had a foolproof plan to stay out of jail, but it all went to naught.

Right now, he's in line to recieve his dinner. Then, he notices the guy in front of him looks an awful lot like...

"PETER?!" he shouts.

Peter Wader, former psychiatrist, turns around and grimaces at Fletcher. "So, they finally caught you."

Fletcher asks, "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Peter says bitterly. "I'm serving YOUR sentence."

"I... I... I... I don't know what to say," Fletcher says frazzledly.

"How about an apology?" Peter snarls. "How about 'Sorry I framed you for what I did.' 'Sorry I took your life away.' 'Sorry I made you spend the LAST 5 YEARS IN JAIL!!'"

"Do you think I'm proud of what I did?" Fletcher snarls back. "No, I'm not! But it had to be done! You were always Mama's favourite, Mr. Perfect."

"So that's your excuse, Fletcher? The fact that I did something with my life and you didn't?"

"NO! IT WAS THE FACT THAT YOU WERE SO STUCK UP ABOUT THE WHOLE DAMN THING!" Fletcher yells.

A police officer notices the two brothers fighting and walks up to them. "All right, what's going on here?" he snarls.

Both brothers instantly soften and simultaneously say, "Nothing." They then each fake grins.

"Hmph." The police officer goes back to his post.

Peter glares back at his brother one last time before turning around, and Fletcher returns the favour.

---

Back on Coral Drive, Morticia is awaiting the party guests. Everything is all set for the big bash, and the last thing on her checklist is to wait for everybody to show up.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Morticia hurriedly gets up to answer it.

She opens the door, and Scott and Jane are there. "Oh, hello! Come on in!" Morticia greets them.

Scott and Jane walk into Morticia's house and admire the decorations. "Wow, Morticia," Scott marvels. "You really went all out on this party."

Morticia giggles. "Oh, Scott... it's not nice to make an old lady blush."

Scott chuckles. "Well... what's first on the agenda here?"

"Well, I'd like to wait until more people get here," Morticia explains. "There's a pinata out in the back, filled with devilled eggs."

"Devilled eggs? Wouldn't those spoil?" Jane inquires.

"Oh, I mean candy. You know... for the kids."

"Why'd you say 'devilled eggs', then?" Scott wonders.

"I'm not sure... it's almost as if I was alluding to some kid's TV show I saw." Morticia shrugs her shoulders.

Scott and Jane look at Morticia for a while. They all awkwardly laugh.

Just then, the doorbell rings again. Morticia rushes to answer it.

Ed and Beth are there. "Oh, hello, and welcome to my party!" Morticia gushes.

Ed and Beth walk in. Ed takes off his coat and hangs it on the coat rack. Morticia leads them to the kitchen, where Scott and Jane have taken a seat.

"Now then, you guys can converse while I wait for everyone to get here," Morticia says. The doorbell rings yet again. "Oh, yay! Somebody else is here!" Morticia says giddily. She rushes to the door, leaving Ed, Beth, Scott, and Jane sitting alone.

Ed clears his throat. "So... it's been a while, eh?"

Scott has a serious look on his face as he looks at Ed. "Yes... it has."

Both Beth and Jane are confused by the face Scott is giving Ed, but Ed seems to understand it just fine. "Still holding that grudge, I see?"

"It's not a 'grudge', Ed. I will never forgive you for what you did."

Ed is looking more wary. "Come on, Scott, it's in the past! You gotta let it go!"

"Let it go! I can't just..."

Morticia returns with Erica and Robert being the next guests. Everybody fakes a smile. "All right, guys," Morticia says, addressing Erica and Robert. "Sit wherever you like, there's plenty of chairs."

Morticia then says, "We're just waiting on Allison and Jimmy, and the Winstrate family. Then we can have some fun!" She walks out of the room.

Erica and Robert take their seats. Beth, wanting to start a more pleasant conversation, says, "I love your dress, Erica."

"Oh, thank you, Beth," Erica says politely. "Robert helped me pick it out."

"Oh, well then, maybe you should be thanking your husband," Beth flatters.

The doorbell rings again, and everybody hears Morticia rushing up to answer it.

It turns out to be Allison and her little boy, Jimmy. "Oh, hello guys! Welcome to my party!" Morticia gushes. She looks down at Jimmy, and says, "My, you've grown into a handsome young man!" Jimmy giggles. "Mommy says it's because I eat my vestables."

"Well, you should keep on doing that, and someday, you'll be as tall as us! Now, you two can come take a seat."

Allison and Jimmy come to the kitchen table, and everybody there greets her. Jimmy takes a seat on the kiddie chair next to his mother.

The doorbell rings again. "Oh! Everyone's here!" Morticia proclaims. She opens the door for the Winstrate family, consisting of David (the father), Bonnie (the mother), Joey and Chris (the twins), and Martha (the teenager). "Okay! Now let's get down to business! Who likes pinatas?" she asks, mostly addressing Jimmy, Joey, and Chris.

All three of them jump up and down, raise their hands as high as they can, and yell "Me!/I do!"

"All right, then! Everybody, follow me to the backyard!"

Each of the young boys is given a stick and a blindfold. "All right, guys," Morticia prompts. "Tie the blindfold around your eyes, then when I say 'go', whack the pinata as hard as you can!"

The boys tie the blindfolds over their eyes. Morticia starts the game, "Ready... GO!"

Chris accidentally whacks Jimmy in the face. Jimmy falls down, crying.

"Oh, my God!" Allison rushes over to comfort her son. "Jimmy, are you all right?"

Jimmy has a bump on his forehead and continues crying.

Allison picks him up and carries him inside. "Ssshhh... it's okay," she says, trying to comfort him.

Morticia, feeling responsible, grabs Jimmy's stick and says "Why don't I just break it open?" She breaks the pinata open, takes the blindfolds off of Chris and Joey, and they dive right into the candy.

"All right... who else is hungry? I've got the barbecue all ready to go here," Morticia says, trying to diverge attention from what just happened.

Ed speaks up. "I'll have a hamburger," he says.

"Yeah, me too," says Scott.

"Hot dog, please," Erica pipes up.

Everyone else follows suit, while Morticia tries to keep track of the orders. "All right... Erica wants a hot dog, Scott wants a hamburger, Beth wants a veggie burger, veggie wants a Beth burger, Scott burgs a ham-wanter... QUIET!!"

Everyone stares at Morticia in shock, even the kids. Morticia blushes, and says, "Sorry... I just need to figure this out." She ducks into the house to get the supplies.

Allison comes back out still carrying Jimmy, who has an ice pack on his head. She sits down at a picnic table.

"You know you can't baby your child like that forever," David scoffs. "They need to be able to fend for themselves."

"Excuse me?" Allison stands back up. "What gives you the right to judge how I parent my child?"

"Well, I'm just saying... little... Jimmy, is it?... isn't going to be able to take care of himself if he has someone like you smothering him."

Allison places Jimmy on the grass and marches up to David, poking a finger in his chest. "Look, pal... I don't know who you think you are, but I'll raise my child the way I want to. That's my business, and no one else's!"

David mumbles to his wife, "Geez, Bonnie... talk about someone who can't take constructive criticism."

Allison is about to explode. "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM?!"

Morticia steps out. "All right, everybody, it's grilling time!"

Allison and David soften for the sake of Morticia.

The show ends with the narrator saying, "Most of the time, parties bring out the best in people... but sometimes, they can bring out the worst in people, whether it be bad first impressions..."

Allison is seen comforting her still sniffling Jimmy, while the Winstrates watch her in pity.

"...lasting feuds..."

Ed is shown eating a burger opposite Scott. They sneak glares at each other while no one else is looking.

"...or a simple case of sibling rivalry..."

Chris and Joey are shown fighting and clawing at each other. Morticia breaks them up, because the Winstrates are too busy gawking at Allison's parenting methods.

The scene cuts to Fletcher and Peter outside, breaking rocks. "Sibling rivalry can be the most dangerous form of confrontations."

Fletcher, sweating profusely and seething with anger, picks up a large rock and turns to his brother.

"Hey, bro..."

Peter turns his way. Fletcher grins evilly and says, "Catch." He heaves the rock at Peter's face.

"To be continued" shows on the screen, with sounds of sirens and a police officer yelling, "Somebody call a medic!..."

---

For those of you keeping score at home, that's now 7 households mentioned on Coral Drive (not counting "Mrs. Puff"). Morticia, Scott, Erica, Winstrates, Beth, Allison, and Vinnie. I'm probably going to keep it at this number for a while.

Anyway, I think this is one of my best episodes to date, and it deserves to be a Festival episode much more than that dismal happy one. Reviews mucho appreciated.

Episode 15: Brothers Down

Fletcher, sweating profusely and seething with anger, picks up a large rock and turns to his brother.

"Hey, bro..."

Peter turns his way. Fletcher grins evilly and says, "Catch." He heaves the rock at Peter's face.

---

As Peter sat in the hospital, he started to wonder about Fletcher: What was the matter with him? But more importantly, was there any truth to his claim that he was too much of a know-it-all?

His mind flashes back about 30 years ago, when he and his brother were just kids...

---

Peter and Fletcher are coming home from school, each carrying a poster.

Their mother is sipping coffee. "Hello, boys," she says. "How was your day?"

"It was gr-" Fletcher tries to speak, but his brother cuts in, saying "It was great! Teacher said my painting was the best in the class!"

"Sweetie, that's wonderful! Here, let's find something to hang this up with..."

---

Peter shakes it off. "It's not my fault I was better than him!" he says to himself.

---

While in his cell, Fletcher is more or less thinking the same thoughts as Peter.

---

As Mom gushes over Peter, Fletcher looks sadly at his painting. He thought it was good, but it wasn't best in the class. Fletcher trudges up to his room without his mother noticing.

When he gets there, he glares at his painting, and rips it in half.

When he comes back downstairs, he sees his mother framing his brother's painting. Fletcher mutters, "Mommy never does that with my paintings."

Cut to Fletcher, back in his cell. "That son of a bitch was always such a show-off," he mutters.

---

Fletcher's mind flashes ahead to junior high, where he is sick of his brother besting him at everything. Science projects, math exams, you name it. "Mama always loved him best," Fletcher always says.

So, Fletcher finally decides to beat the goody-two-shoes by sabotaging his project. It looks like a standard volcano project, but Peter equipped it with a trigger so confetti pops out as well as lava! Oh, yes, and it glows in the dark.

Just seeing Peter's masterpiece made Fletcher seethe with anger. So, he got right to work. He poured grape-flavoured drink powder mix into the volcano.

"That should leave Peter with a sticky surprise," Fletcher grimaces.

At the science fair, Peter is proudly showing off his volcano project. He turns it on, and purple goop splatters all over the judges.

The judges are furious. "Young man, what is the meaning of this?!" one of them demands.

"But I... I... I..." Peter stammers.

Meanwhile, Fletcher is watching from behind the science fair's doors, giggling.

Now, as Fletcher recalls what he did, he admits, "I guess that was a little mean... but he deserved it, right?"

---

Peter recalls his days back in junior high, too.

"Peter, sweetie, would you help your brother with his math homework?" his mother asks.

"Sure, mom," Peter obliges.

Peter walks into Fletcher's room. Fletcher appears to be stuck on a problem.

Peter rolls his eyes. "Mom said I had to help you," he scoffs. "So, what is it this time?"

Fletcher groans. "Fractions."

"Well, let's get this over with," Peter grumbles. He looks at Fletcher's page. "Are you kidding me?! That's easy! What are you, stupid?!"

"Well, I'm sorry that I don't have an IQ of 10,000 like you do," Fletcher says sarcastically.

"Well, yeah, but I at least expected you to be smarter than a vegetable!" Peter fires back.

Tears form in Fletcher's eyes. He looks hurt. "Get out!" he yells.

"Gladly," Peter scorns. He stomps out of the room.

"Did you help Fletcher?" Peter's mom asks.

"Yes, mom," Peter says.

Back in the present, Peter feels a little guilty. "Maybe I should have been more undserstanding... but I can't be bothered, right?"

---

Fletcher then shudders as he recalls another moment from the past. "But nothing in my life compares to when..."

Peter is thinking the same thing. "Nothing will ever compare to that day when..."

"I moved out," Fletcher says.

"Fletch moved out," Peter says.

---

Fletcher, at 18, has just packed his last suitcase.

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" his mother says with concern.

"Mom, I'll be a lot better living somewhere else than I ever was in this shithole," Fletcher says bitterly.

"Well... goodbye." His mom gives him a hug.

Fletcher hugs back. "Bye, Mom."

"Don't forget to say goodbye to your brother," his mother adds.

"Isn't he too busy doing calculus or something?" Fletcher says scornfully.

"Nonsense," his mother admonishes. "He's family. You at least have to bid him farewell."

Fletcher rolls his eyes. "All right, mother..."

He trudges upstairs and knocks on his brother's door. Peter's voice comes from inside. "Come in."

Fletcher opens the door. Peter looks at him with distaste. "Fletcher, is this important? I have to finish my work."

"No, I'm just leaving the house for good. Nothing important or anything," Fletcher says sarcastically.

"Well, goodbye. Now leave me in peace," Peter says as he shoos him away.

"Okay, Professor Jackass," Fletcher says disgustedly.

Peter stops focusing on his work. He goes up to Fletcher and looks him straight in the eye. "Look, brother dearest. At least I don't have the mental capacity of a donkey."

"Yeah, but you have the social skills of one!"

"THEN WHY AM I STUDYING TO BECOME A PSYCHIATRIST AND YOU'RE JUST SOUNDING MENTALLY ILL?!"

"Psychiatrist, huh?" Fletcher picks up Peter's prized possession, his science trophy of achievement.

"Well, cure THIS!" He tosses it out onto the pavement, where it falls and breaks.

Peter just stands there, mouth wide open in shock. "Get out," he finally manages to say.

Fletcher saunters toward the door. "It was nice knowing you too," he says, still sarcastic.

"GET OUT!" Peter says in rage.

Fletcher gets out of Peter's room, then slams the door. He trudges back downstairs, grabs his suitcase, and heads out. He then takes one last look back at his house, then falls crying on the doorstep.

---

Fletcher bites his lip. "You know, maybe this mess wouldn't have started if it wasn't for me."

Peter cringes at the memory as well. "I guess I'm mostly to blame for how Fletcher ended up."

Fletcher gets up from his cell's bed. "I have to see him."

Peter looks warily around the hospital room, then brushes it off and jumps up. "I'm fine! I gotta get my brother!" He rushes out of the hospital, startling some doctors.

Fletcher shakes his cell doors. "LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!" he yells.

A police officer comes up. "What the hell is your problem?" he asks Fletcher.

"I gotta see my brother! Where is he?"

"Oh, you must be Fletcher," the police officer admonishes. "Your brother is in the hospital, remember?"

"Think again!" Peter rushes down the hall.

"Peter!" Fletcher yells joyfully.

"Fletcher!"

"Peter, I'm sorry about all the terrible things I did," Fletcher begins.

"No, Fletcher, I'm sorry," Peter says.

"Well... I'm sorrier!" Fletcher argues.

The police officer cringes. "Yeesh. Get a room." He then walks down the hall.

Peter continues. "Fletcher, I should have been a better brother. I was never there for you when you needed help."

Fletcher says, "Peter, I know how frustrated you must have felt with me. I was always the rebellious one."

"Not always," Peter replies. "It's my fault that you stopped trying to succeed. I was... such an asshole!" he says angrily."

Fletcher smiles. "How about we admit we were both rotten and leave it at that?"

Peter smiles back. "Sounds good to me."

Fletcher points down the hall. "Now, I hear that they found out you were me and I was you. In other words,. you're free to go and do whatever it is that you do." He chuckles.

"You sure you'll be okay in here by yourself?" Peter asks.

"Don't let me drag you down, Pete. The world is your oyster!"

Peter smiles. "Well, good luck, bro."

"You too!" Fletcher waves.

As the screen fades to black, "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds plays. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAdaQhitdKg

Fade to black, credits.

Episode 16: Can't We All Just Get Along?

On Coral Drive, Morticia's party was still in full swing. And now, a barbecue dinner was being served.

Everybody seems to be eating in silence, and Morticia wants to stop that. "So..." she begins, "How's life been for you, Erica?"

Erica swallows a bite of her hot dog. "Can't complain," she says. "Robert learned a new recipe yesterday."

"Is that so?" says Morticia.

Robert looks proud. "Yes, it's my latest creation: honey-glazed coral bit salad."

"Ooh, sounds interesting!" Morticia says. "How do you make it?"

"That," Robert says slyly, "is my little secret."

"Oh, well I don't want to pry," Morticia chuckles.

Allison speaks up. "It's so nice how you respect other people's privacy and mind your own business, Morticia." She glances at Dave and Bonnie Winstrate.

Dave and Bonnie get the message, and now Dave speaks up. "Might I also say how nice it is that you don't pamper us or baby us, and let us know we are capable of doing certain things."

Morticia looks somewhat confused. "O-kay... thank you."

"Don't mention it," Dave and Allison say together.

---

At the kids' table, Chris and Joey appear to be ganging up on Jimmy.

"You're such a baby!" Joey begins.

"Am not!" Jimmy argues.

"Are too!" Chris counters.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Boys, boys! What's going on over here?" Morticia says, rushing over.

Jimmy points to Joey and Chris. "They said I was a baby!" he says, nearly in tears.

"Now, Chris, Joey. You don't want me to tell your parents how you've been behaving, do you?"

"No, Morticia," Joey and Chris say in unison, and they act so innocent you'd think a halo would appear above each of their heads at that second.

"Good," Morticia says as she walks away.

She comes back to the table and addresses the Winstrates. "Are you comfortable with your boys... insulting others like that?"

"Morticia, you need to relax," Dave says. "Boys will be boys, and names will never hurt them."

Allison stands up. "So what does hurt them, then? If your little Joey got shot in the chest, would you just shrug it off?"

David stands up. "Now, see here, you're going too far!" he says, progressively raising his voice. "You want us to respect your parenting techniques, then respect ours."

Allison explodes. "What 'parenting techniques'?! Why did you bother having kids if you don't protect them or teach them what's right and what's wrong?"

David yells, "YOU'D BETTER MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!"

"Like you have?!"

"All right, all right, quiet down," Morticia pleads. "You could upset the kids."

Allison, still irate, says, "But DAVEY over there wouldn't care about that, would he?!"

"That's it! I'm not standing around here being insulted. Come on, Bonnie. We're going home." Dave acknowledges Chris and Joey as well. "Come on, boys. We're leaving early."

"But Dad, I haven't finished my burger," Joey protests.

"NOW!" Dave yells. He tosses over his shoulder to Morticia, "Thanks for having us. But we obviously clash with some other guests." He glares at Allison, then turns his back and walks away. Bonnie, Chris, and Joey follow.

As they leave, everybody looks at Allison, who is calmly eating her hamburger. She then notices everyone staring at her. "What?" she mumbles with her mouth full.

---

Dave slams the door on their house in anger. Bonnie tries to soothe him, "Dave, try to calm down..."

"Calm down?! Calm down? Bonnie, I just met the biggest bitch I've ever met in my life, who insulted me, my family, and my parenting, and you expect me to calm down?!"

"Well, David, you both (kids, go play in your rooms for a little while) overreacted, I think."

"I thought you were on my side!" Dave protests.

"I'm on nobody's side, Dave." Bonnie rolls her eyes. "I just want to make peace between the two of you."

"Well, good luck accomplishing the impossible task," Dave says sarcastically. He walks out of the room.

Bonnie buries her head in her right hand. "Honestly, sometimes that man..."

---

Back at the party, the confusion had cooled down and everybody was back to eating their meal.

Morticia tries to strike up a conversation again. "So Ed, how are you doing?"

"Fine, thank you," Ed replies.

"Fine, thank you," Scott mimics.

"Cool it, Scotty..." Ed warns.

"Oh, what? Are you gonna go all unemployed on me?" Scott taunts sarcastically.

Everybody looks at Scott in shock. "That's right, Ed," Scott says sinisterly. "I struck up conversation with your wife, and it just kind of slipped out. Right, Beth?"

Ed turns to Beth, hurt. "You told him?!"

"He's right, Ed... it just slipped out. Don't make it bigger than it is," Beth defends herself.

"Everybody here knows I'm unemployed, I'd say that's pretty damn big!"

He turns to Scott in anger. "You... you conniving son of a bitch."

"Ooh, sticks and stones," Scott says mockingly.

Ed leaps across the table and begins choking Scott.

"AAHH! Somebody stop him!" Jane screeches.

Robert, known for being one of the stronger men on Coral Drive, leaps over the table and pulls Ed off of Scott.

Jane looks at Ed, stricken with fear. "You... nearly... killed my husband..."

Ed looks around at everybody looking at him. He proceeds out, saying, "Come on, Beth. We've ruined this dinner party enough."

"'We'?" Beth says indignantly. But she follows him reluctantly.

Morticia looks at the messy array of food, and all of her confused and shocked guests. She has no choice but to say, "I think I'm going to wrap this party up earlier than expected, guys. Thanks for coming."

Everybody proceeds out, leaving Morticia all alone.

Some time later, Morticia is still standing in her backyard, looking at the mess. She sits down at her chair and cries.

"This isn't what I wanted!" she sobs. "Is it impossible for us to get along anymore?"

She looks up at the sky and views the sunset. "I wish you were still here, Harold..." she whispers. "Maybe you'd make it all better."

Fade to black, credits.

Episode 17: All Apologies?

Morticia was beginning to lose faith in ever reconciling the neighbourhood. If a big party doesn't help, then what will?

As she lies awake at night, she looks at the stars, hoping to find answers. "Nothing," she mutters in regret.

She rolls over. "Maybe I just need some sleep." She tries to sleep, but hears a rustling sound coming from her backyard.

She gets up rapidly and looks out her window. A masked man is lurking around the outside of her fence. He then hops it.

Morticia gasps in shock. She then rushes to her closet, opens it, and pulls out a shotgun, which she keeps only for emergencies.

She tiptoes down the stairs into her kitchen. She then backs up against the wall, standing guard. She hears faint footsteps.

She yells, "Whoever you are... whereever you are... I have a shotgun, so don't even think about coming in here!" Her voice sounds bold, but in reality she is shaking all over.

Jiggling is heard at the door. When the man finds out it's locked, he shoots through the glass.

"AAAAHHH!" Morticia screams. Startled by the scream, the man runs away, but his pants get caught on her fence.

Morticia looks out her door. She then warily opens it and says, "I mean you no harm... I'm a friend."

The man puts his shotgun up. "You say one more word, and you're dead meat."

Morticia gulps, and puts her hands over her head. She then gets an idea. She slinks back into her house.

"Where are you going?" the man asks.

"I'm... thirsty," Morticia replies. "Just getting a drink..."

"You better be back out in 5 seconds," the man warns.

Morticia rushes into her house, and dials 911.

Outside, the man mutters, "Shit. She's calling the cops." He struggles to set his pants free, but can't do it. He then kicks his shoes off, jumps out of his pants, and runs.

Gasping for breath, he finally stops at the neighbourhood park. "What do I do now?" he asks himself. He then decides to get out of the neighbourhood as quickly as possible. But then the cops come.

"Freeze! Let me see your hands now!" The chief steps out, holding a handgun.

The man puts his hands up in defeat.

"Drop the gun," the chief says. He does so. The chief cuffs him, and takes him to his car.

As he rides away in the back, he mutters, "Morticia Fishkin... you'll get yours."

---

Morticia goes back to bed, still frazzled by what just happened. Then, it hit her:

She knew that man. His voice was so familiar...

"Oh my God, it's him," she says in shock. She goes to her night table and opens up the drawer. She pulls out a newspaper clipping, which reads, "Preston Phillips Convicted of Murder". The sub-headline reads, "Anonymous Tipster Helps Solve Case". But Morticia knew who that "anonymous tipster" was. It was her!

"...And he's come back for revenge..." Morticia continues in shock. "Who knows what he's planning to do to me?"

Hands trembling, she puts the newspaper clipping back in the drawer. "I just have to keep a cool head... and go back to sleep," she decides.

She climbs into bed and tries to fall asleep.

---

"You're asking me to apologize?" Scott says in disbelief. "I wasn't the one strangling the bejesus out of the other!"

"No, but you're the one that provoked him to do so," Jane says firmly. "Now, hurry up. It's cold out."

Scott groans and knocks on the door.

Ed looks through the window to see who it is. He then goes up to Beth and says, "It's for you!"

Beth, in the middle of drying dishes, walks up to the door and opens it.

She finds Scott and Jane standing at the door. "Oh, it's you," Beth says. "I'd just like to apologize for my husband's ghastly display of behaviour yesterday."

"Actually, Beth, somebody would like to apologize to him." Jane nudges Scott, who reluctantly walks in and asks, "Where's Ed?"

"Probably hiding in his bedroom, no doubt." Beth rolls her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know why he has such a problem with you."

Scott takes a deep breath and walks up the stairs. "Oh, I may have a few ideas..." he says under his breath.

Scott knocks on the door. "Hello, Ed? It's Scott."

Ed's voice comes from the other side. "Oh, what? Have you come to swear more revenge on me?"

Scott rolls his eyes. "No, Ed. My wife sent me here to apologize."

Ed opens the door. "Where would you like to start, Scott? How about at the part where you revealed to the entirety of Coral Drive that I was unemployed?"

"It's a better reputation than, say, an angry strangler," Scott replies innocently.

Ed looks it him in disdain. "What do you want, Scott?"

"I want you to pay me back for that one fateful day," Scott says. "The one day where you tore my life apart. The day a part of me died."

Ed smirks. "I could try and hook you up with some acting lessons."

"Ed, I'm not joking!" Scott threatens. "Only a snake like you would think I'm joking about this."

"As I recall you said to me, 'sticks and stones', Scott," Ed replies mockingly.

Scott grabs Ed by the shoulders. "You're an amateur strangler, Ed," he seethes. "You never knew how to finish the job." His hands squeeze tighter on his shoulders. "Would you like me to teach you?"

Ed gulps. "All right, Scott," he relents. "Why don't you tell me exactly what it is you want?"

Scott lets go of his shoulders. He walks around the room thoughtfully. He then notices the phone. He picks up the reciever. "Well, I think the police may have a few suggestions..."

Ed starts to sweat profusely. "Scott, don't you fucking dare."

Scott dials the numbers very slowly. Ed leaps up and grabs the reciever from his hand. He then hangs up the phone. "There's a reason you haven't called the police until now, Scott," he begins.

"What's your theory, Ed?" Scott asks. "My fingers were too tired for the past few years?"

"No," Ed says. "You want something from me."

"Ding-ding! We have a winner!" says Scott, clapping sarcastically.

"So, what is it?" Ed asks.

"You decide," Scott says. "How do you think we can work this out?"

"Well, I could 'finish the job' on you, if you get my drift," Ed threatens. "Or, you could tell me what you want."

"Oh, Ed, Ed, Ed..." Scott says. "It's so bloody obvious."

He walks up to Ed and whispers something in his ear. Ed looks shocked. "Look, Scott, I realize you're still affected by this, but... don't you think you're being extreme?"

"Well, it's your choice, like I said," Scott says. "I could always have a nice conversation with the police... "

He walks over to the phone again. "I'm sure they'd be delighted to solve the 15-year-old murder case of Virginia Dawson."

Ed gulps.

---

"Are you kidding me, Bonnie?" Dave says, standing at Allison's doorstep. "She should be apologizing to us!"

"Well, somebody has to break the ice, and it may as well be you," Bonnie says. "Now, go!" She turns to Chris and Joey, who are also there. "Let this be a lesson, kids," she tells them. "Always apologize for your wrong actions."

"No, kids, the lesson Mommy's trying to tell you is that you should let people walk all over you, and then apologize to them. Always be spineless, guys," Dave says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Get in there!" Bonnie orders. "Let's go, kids," she says as they walk home.

Dave, still bitter, rings the doorbell.

Allison opens up. When she sees who it is, she slams the door.

Dave sighs with relief. "I'm fairly certain that counts as an apology." He's heading home as well when he hears sobbing coming from the other side.

Dave takes on a guilty look. He goes up and knocks on the door again. "Go away!" is heard from inside.

"Listen, is everything all right in there?" Dave says with concern.

Allison opens the door. "No! Everything's all wrong!" she cries.

"Well... is there anything I can do?" Dave asks.

"Males! They just do everything wrong!" Allison sobs. "Would you like to know where my little Jimmy is?"

Dave, slightly taken aback by the somewhat feministic comment, asks, "Where?"

Allison sniffles. "He's at his father's house!"

Dave just stands there, stunned and confused. Allison wipes back tears. "You'd better come in," she relents.

Dave steps in, and he and Allison walk over to her kitchen table.

They sit down at opposite ends, Allison's end having an unfinished cup of coffee. She begins her story. "It all started one lonely night in '83. I was sitting at the side of my high school, when..."

"Cut the crap," Dave cuts in. "Why are you sad?"

Allison holds back tears. "I thought he was my Prince Charming," she continues. "We went steady for about 6 years, then... he proposed."

She grabs a tissue to dab her eyes. "It all felt so right. We were married in the morning. Then, on our honeymoon... he knocked me up."

She blows her nose. "That's when the troubles began. He found out I was pregnant soon after, and we had to sacrifice all our romantic plans for... this child. I had him 9 months later, and he was... beautiful. I thought that as long as both Daniel and..." she mumbles. "Oh shit, I gave away his name."

"It doesn't matter," Dave assures her. "Continue."

"I thought that as long as both Daniel and Jimmy wrre with me, everything would be all right." She pauses. "But then... things started to go very wrong. Daniel's method of punishment was spanking. From the moment he statted to walk and talk, Daniel took out the paddle. I never thought it was right. I tried to stop him, but he said that was how his parents got him to learn. Tensions just grew after that, and it got to the point where we were arguing every other day." She sniffles again. "Then... the divorce came. I wanted full custody of Jimmy, but Daniel ended up winning the weekends. It's Saturday now, and... God knows what he's doing to that poor kid."

She grabs another tissue. "I wanted to raise him so he wouldn't turn out like that man. But I have no control over him on the weekends! So I just sit at home and cry my eyes out."

Dave bites his lip as he remembers how he criticized Allison's parenting techniques. "Hey, listen, I just wanted to apologize for my behaviour at the party yesterday. If I had known what you were going through and your reasoning behind-"

Allison cuts him off. "Don't be sorry," she says. "You're just trying to be a good parent, like me."

Dave excuses himself. "Well, I'd better head back. You... take care of yourself now."

"You, too," Allison waves. She takes a sip of her coffee.

Dave waves back.

---

Erica is sipping her coffee. "I'm so glad we weren't involved in that drama at the party, Robert..." she remarks. "I've had enough drama in these past few weeks as it is."

Robert agrees. "See, Erica? Everybody has their fair share of problems..."

Robert's voice is heard over each of the following scenes. "Whether you're trying to deal with someone..."

Morticia is shaking uncontrollably as she reads the newspaper, looking over her shoulders repeatedly.

"...or deal with an ongoing problem..."

Allison continues to sip her coffee, tears welling up in her eyes. She sniffles them back and stays strong.

"...we all have our own personal issues." The scene cuts back to Robert reassuring Erica.

"I guess you're right, sweetie," Erica says.

---

Ed is sitting on his bed, not sure what to do. He thinks about his options.

Beth walks in. "Ed, what's wrong?" she asks.

Ed's face looks grim. "Beth, I have something to tell you..." he begins.

Fade to black, credits.

I would really appreciate it if somebody reviewed this episode, because I put a lot of thought into it.

Or nobody can review it. That's cool too.

Episode 18: Friendship Brace

"He what?" Beth asked in shock.

"He wants to sleep with you, Beth," Ed says grimly.

"But... why?" Beth says. "He's already got a wife."

"Yeah, but apparently, the son of a bitch ain't satisfied with her," Ed grimaces.

"But why me- why us, Ed?" Beth says, still confused.

Ed's face turns grim again. "Beth, there's something else I have to tell you..." he begins.

---

The scene shifts to fit Ed's story, back in 1987 at Sturgeon High.

"20 or so years ago," Ed says, "me and Scott were friends. We hung out after class, did our homework together, we were inseparable."

Ed is walking out of the school, and Scott is waiting by the stairs. "Hey, Ed," Scott greets.

"Hey," Ed grunts.

"Why the long face?" Scott asks.

"Homework," Ed grumbles.

"I could help you out, Ed," Scott offers.

Ed smirks. "Don't you usually, anyways?"

Scott's eyes fade into a thoughtful look. "Well, this time, I was hoping for something in return."

Ed chuckles. "Uh-oh, you're not gonna charge interest on all those other times you helped me, are you?"

Scott laughs. "No, no, it's just one favour."

Ed walks down the stairs. "What is it?"

"Come with me," Scott says.

Ed follows Scott to the park near the school. Scott points to a pretty redheaded young lady, about their age. "See her?" Scott asks.

"Yeah?" Ed replies.

"I want you to hook me up," Scott says.

Ed's cheeks suddenly turn red. "Hook you up?" he asks. "But- but-"

"Aw, c'mon, Ed," Scott says as he punches his arm playfully. "If anyone knows how to charm a female, it's you."

Ed looks more proud after hearing this. "I- I guess you're right."

Scott punches his arm again. "Now, go get 'em, tiger."

"But-"

"But what?!" Scott is beginning to get impatient.

"But... I wanted to ask her out," Ed says softly, blushing again.

Scott's impatience turns to a stunned look. He clears his throat. "Well... *ahem* I'd really appreciate it if you let me have this one."

Ed bites his lip. "I- I don't know, Scott..."

Scott puts a hand on Ed's shoulder. "Ed... you've had so many dates this past year. Melanie, Tara, that girl with the Aussie accent..."

"Melinda?" Ed asks.

"Yeah, her," Scott says. "The point is, you've had so many... and I've had none."

Ed turns to the girl in question with a dreamy look in his eyes. "But... I have a feeling she's the one."

"Oh, come off it, Ed!" Scott snaps. "You've said that so many times, it ain't funny anymore."

"I never intended for it to be funny," Ed says indignantly.

"Well, after the 4,000th time you say it, it kind of loses its romantic impact," Scott shoots back sarcastically.

"Hey, don't blame me because you're too chickenshit to ask anyone out," Ed defends himself.

Scott looks about ready to burst. "CHICKENSHIT?!"

Several people stop to look at Scott. He blushes and smiles, embarrassed. "Sorry," he says. The passers-by continue on their way.

Scott turns back to Ed. "Wanna make an ass out of me again?" he whispers harshly.

Ed throws his hands up. "Once again, you're blaming me for YOUR problems."

Scott facepalms. "Look, Ed... I really want this. So if you can just let me..." he notices Ed is gone.

Ed walks up to the redhead. "Hey... name's Ed," he says.

"Beth," Beth replies. They shake hands. He sits down next to her.

---

"...And that's when the real problems began," Ed tells his wife.

Beth smiles. "Well, I'm glad that you thought that I was 'the one', even back then," she says happily. They kiss briefly.

Ed's face turns back to being grim. "So, what are we gonna do?"

"Why don't you just tell the creep 'no'? He had his chance," Beth says.

"Well, my dear, I have another story to tell you, and it's not pretty," Ed begins.

---

The scene switches to 1995.

Ed's voice is heard telling the story. "15 years ago, I made what could have possibly been the biggest mistake of my life..."

Ed is at a party, drinking to excess. He puts a beer down on the table, and decides it's time to go home.

He tries to unlock the car door, but has a tough time, since he is so drunk he keeps missing the lock. Eventually, he gets it and unlocks the door.

When he pulls out of the parking lot, it's apparent he isn't in any condition to drive. He swerves around the narrow road recklessly. After a few minutes of reckless driving, a loud thump is heard.

Ed stops the car and gets out. He notices an adolescent girl at the front of his car, dead. While Ed is still very drunk, he knows what he did was wrong. Suddenly, he sees a mysterious flash and hears the sound of running footsteps.

He doesn't know what else to do except get back in the car and continue driving. Now, he tries to maintain the speed limit despite his drunkenness.

When he gets home, he quickly rushes into the house.

When he gets up the next morning, he has a terrible hangover. He decides to read the newspaper. The headline reads, "Mysterious Death of Virginia Dawson". The subheadline reads "Police Looking for Clues".

Ed gulps.

---

Beth stands there in shock. "You... you..."

Ed hangs his head. "Yes, it was one of the worst days of my life, and still haunts me to this day."

Beth puts a hand on his shoulder. "Ed... you have to tell the police about this."

Ed grins and pounds his fist into his other hand. "And beat Scott to the punch? Good idea!"

"No, Ed," Beth says seriously, "This isn't about 'beating him to the punch' or whatever. This is about finally doing the right thing."

Ed puts a hand on Beth's shoulder, now down-to-earth. "You're right, darling."

They kiss. Beth whispers, "I knew you'd do the right thing."

When they retreat, Beth asks, "How did Scott know, anyway?"

"To be honest, I have no idea..." Ed says.

---

Scott is sitting on the edge of his bed, hands folded. His mind flashes back to the same day Ed killed Virginia...

---

Scott is walking home from the party. Unlike Ed, he is perfectly sober. He crosses through an alleyway.

He sees a tall blonde walking in front of him. She crosses the street, and subsequently gets hit by a car.

Scott stands there in shock, until he recognizes the person stepping out of the car. It's Ed!

"This is perfect!" Scott whispers to himself. He takes out his camera and flashes a picture. He then rushes away.

As he gets out of Ed's sight, he mutters to himself, "Damnit! Why couldn't I have turned off the flash?"

The photo develops and slides out of the camera. Scott grasps it, and laughs sinisterly.

He looks around to see if anyone else is there. When he sees no one, he hides the photo in his coat pocket and mumbles, "I gotta save this for the right time..." He then walks away.

---

Now, as Scott remembers that night, he starts to wonder: When is the right time? Did he already pass it?

He goes over to his night table and pulls out the photo. He holds it in his hands tensely.

He looks at it, and decides that never is the right time. He rips up the photo and throws the pieces in the trash.

As he sees Ed drive away, he thinks, "But now's my chance to get the other thing I want."

He walks out of the house and over to Beth's. He rings the doorbell, and when Beth answers, she says, "Hello, Scott. What do you-"

Scott quickly embraces Beth and kisses her on the lips. Beth tries to scream, but her screams are muffles by Scott's lips.

The screen fades to black, with the sound of a woman's scream. Credits.

Episode 19: Just Criminals (Part I)

As Beth lays on the floor, gasping for air, she is still trying to recall what just happened.

The closest thing she can remember is Scott coming into her house. The rest was just a blur of muffled screams and general uncomfortableness. She slowly picks herself up, still shocked from what happened.

The dress she's wearing is now all ripped and tattered. She still has no idea what has just happened to her.

---

Scott comes home, with Beth's lipstick on his lips.

He rushes upstairs to wash it off. Little does he know that Jane is applying makeup in the very bathroom he was about to rush into!

"Oh!... Uh, Jane, hello," Scott says, taken completely aback.

Jane looks at Scott suspiciously. "Scott... you seem to be breathing hard. And your lips... have they always been that shade of red?"

Scott, ashamed, tries to cover up what he did. "Uh... yes, they have."

"I see," Jane says, still skeptical. "So tell me, where were you when I asked you to do the laundry?"

"Oh! Well, I decided to go back to Ed's house and give him a more proper apology, just in case he thought the first one didn't take." Scott fakes a grin.

"Well, that's a big change from earlier today, when you didn't want to set foot on his porch," Jane remarks, instantly brightening. "What came over you?"

"Oh... just the realization that I've been behaving like a butthead," Scott replies. He fakes another grin.

"Hmm! Well, good to see you've gotten your head out of you-know-where," Jane says. She winks as she walks out of the bathroom and passes him.

Scott holds his fake grin until Jane is out of his sight. He then relaxes, wipes his brow, and says, "Phew!" He thewn quickly rushes into the bathroom and shuts the door, so he can wash the lipstick off.

---

Meanwhile, Jane sits down at the kitchen table, newspaper in hand and a cup of coffee in front of her. She sips as she reads.

She reads the headliner story in the Entertainment section: "Woody Tigerfish's Sex Scandal Revealed!"

She shakes her head as she reads through the story. "Tsk tsk... what possesses a man to do something like that?!"

---

Scott has finally washed all the lipstick off. He now looks at himself in the mirror, hating who he sees.

"What possessed me to do something like that?" he wonders to himself. He knows that he's had an uncontrollable obsession with Beth since high school. But still... why couldn't he control himself?

He walks out of the bathroom, then facepalms, because he just realized that he told Jane that his lips were always that shade of red. He rushes back into the bathroom.

He tries to find one of Jane's lipsticks that match, but to no avail. He then sighs, and decides to walk out and hope she doesn't notice.

---

Ed has arrived at the police station, tensed up. "Well, here goes nothing," he says to himself. He then takes a deep breath, and walks through the doors.

Stacy, Bob's wife, is sitting at the front desk. Stacy enjoyed Bob's job so much, they decided to trade places permanently. "Can I help you?" she inquires, looking at Ed.

Ed looks positively uncomfortable. "Well... it's kind of uncomfortable for me, really. I'd like to turn myself in."

"Oh?" Stacy remarks, looking interested. "For what?"

"Well... heh heh... it was actually something I did 15 years ago... I'm still not proud of it."

"Cut to the chase," Stacy says impatiently. "What did you do?"

Ed gulps, and leans forward onto the desk so he can whisper. "Are you aware of the murder case of Virginia Dawson?"

Stacy looks confused. "No..."

Ed gulps again. "Perhaps you should get someone else..."

"Excuse me?" An older, more experienced officer steps out. "Did you say Virginia Dawson?"

Ed begins to sweat. "Yes, sir, I did," he says nervously.

The officer walks toward him, places one hand on his shoulder, and uses the other to take off his sunglasses. "I'm her father, Kyle Dawson. Do you know why I became an officer?"

Ed, now near the point of hyperventilating, asks, "Why?"

"It was because of my daughter," Kyle says. "I've been waiting 15 years to find the scumbag who killed her. FIFTEEN YEARS!" He spits out the last "s" on Ed's shirt.

He escorts a very nervous Ed to the jail cells, while Stacy watches the whole ordeal with her mouth hanging open. She pushes it back up with her hand.

---

Beth is still standing there, trying to work out what happened. She tries to gather the recent events together. Then, it all comes back to her:

A black-and-white recollation of her memory is shown. Beth opens the door for Scott. "Hello, Scott. What do you-"

Scott immediately embraces her and kisses her on the lips. Beth tries to scream, but it's muffled by Scott's lips.

They fall on the floor, and Scott rolls over so Beth is on top. He grins devilishly at her and says, "I've waited since high school for this moment." He then proceeds to take off her dress.

Back to the present, where Beth, still standing in shock, utters one word: "Rape." She then rushes to the phone and dials 911.

An officer picks it up. "911, what's your emergency?"

"I've been raped!" Beth says, gasping for breath.

"Just calm down, ma'am," the police officer says. "Where are you right now?"

"1... 123 Coral Drive," Beth answers.

"We'll send officers right over, ma'am. Just sit tight," the officer answers. He hangs up.

Beth hangs up too, and curls up in a corner.

---

Morticia hasn't been getting much sleep lately. Day after day, it's been a constant worry about Preston Phillips, and what he will do to her.

She perpetually checks her nightstand's door, and reads the newspaper headline over and over. She shudders every time.

She sits on her bed. "I've got to stope this," she scolds herself. "I'm being silly! Nothing's gonna happen..."

She gulps, and opens her nightstand door again. She then catches herself, and closes it. "Nothing! Nothing will happen..." she reassures herself. But she is still very nervous at the same time.

---

Scott walks downstairs.

"Scott? What happened to your lips?" Jane says.

Scott turns red, knowing that she noticed. "Well, you see, dear, I..."

"Don't 'dear' me," Jane says. She walks up to Scott and eyes him suspiciously. "Who've you ben sleeping around with?"

"Why, nobody!" Scott proclaims.

"Don't give me that," Jane says. "What's the real reason you went back to Beth's place?"

Scott finally cracks under the pressure. "All right, all right! I had sex with Beth!"

Jane looks shocked. She slaps him across the face.

"Sweetie, try to understand..." Scott says, following Jane storming around.

Jane stops. "What more is there to understand, Scott?!" she yells. "Have you been over at Erica's house, 'apologizing' to Robert?!"

"No, no! It was only Beth," Scott says.

"Oh, well, if it was only Beth..." Jane scoffs sarcastically. She storms away from Scott again.

Scott continues to follow. "But Jane, I've loved Beth since high school!"

Jane stops again, and turns around, this time with tears in her eyes. "And I loved you too, Scott... until about five minutes ago." She runs off crying.

"Jane!" Scott holds out his hand. He then puts it back down. "Aw, what's the use? I made a complete ass of myself," he says sorrowfully.

He then hears police sirens. "Uh-oh," he says. He rushes back upstairs.

---

As the police take Scott away, a narrator speaks. "There are many different types of criminals... those who do bad things, and get justice from the help of their victim..."

The scene cuts to Ed, folding his hands in his jail cell. "Those who do bad things, and get justice from their own guilt..."

The scene cuts to Preston Phillips, hiding under Morticia's bedroom window at night. "And sometimes, there are those who get justice... and seek to get even with the person who gave it to them."

Fade to black, credits.

Episode 20: Just Criminals (Part II)

Ed is sitting in his jail cell, hands folded. He is sad because he's in jail, but at the same time, happy because he finally cleared his conscience.

A police officer walks up to his cell. "You got a cellmate now, Ed." He thrusts Scott into his cell.

Ed is shocked. He says, "Scott! What are you doing here?"

Scott turns red. "Uh, well - hee hee - it's kind of a long story..."

A couple minutes later, Ed has his hands wrapped around Scott's neck and has him pinned to the wall. "You did WHAT to my wife?" he shouts.

"E- E-" Scott tries to say Ed's name, but can't because Ed's grip around his neck is too strong. Ed loosens his grip. Scott takes a deep breath, then says, "Ed, you know I've loved her since high school..."

"Oh, well, great excuse!" Ed says sarcastically as he throws up his hands.

"Ed, you have every right to be mad..." Scott begins.

"Damn right I do!" Ed says, glaring at Scott.

"...but try to see things from my point of..."

"Oh, no, no, no. You don't have a point of view in this situation. You're the creepy guy that no one likes!"

Scott smiles condescendingly. "You're cute when you get angry," he says, failing to resist.

Ed pins Scott to the wall again, hands around his neck. Scott, now scared, chokes out, "All right, all right!" Ed loosens his grip. "But we're going to have to learn to live with each other, despite our differences."

"I've got an idea!" Ed says. He makes an imaginary line with his finger. "Cross this line and you're dead meat."

Scott looks at him pityingly. "Ed, you're behaving like a 5-year-old."

"Shut it, Scotty," Ed says, not caring what age he's behaving like. He indicates the two halves of the room. "My half, your half. Got it?"

Scott protests, "But... your half has both the beds..."

Ed smiles. "Now you're catching on. Speaking of which, it's almost bedtime. Sweet dreams." He climbs into bed.

Scott glares at Ed, then tries to sleep on the hard stone floor.

---

Preston is waiting outside of Morticia's bedroom window. He planned this ever since a couple days ago, when he was taken to jail yet again, but escaped. "No fortress can hold me!" is his motto.

Now, it's time to execute the rest of the plan. He pulls out the rope he was saving for this moment. He tosses the rope up through the open window, which Morticia forgot to close due to her worrying.

He ties the lower end of the rope to the nearby drainpipe, then climbs up. He jumps through the window quickly yet quietly.

"Now, then..." Preston whispers to himself. "What should I do to her?"

He decided to settle for simply burning down her house. He sneaks downstairs, and rummages through her cupboards for a box of matches.

He finally finds one. He takes out a match, and strikes it against one of her wooden cupboards. He then runs outside.

Upstairs, Morticia wakes up to the sound of the smoke alarm. "Oh, my God!"

She notices that the door to her bedroom is open, and smoke is rushing in.

She then notices the rope hanging out her bedroom window. "Preston," she realizes. She then tries to climb down the rope to escape, but loses her footing and falls flat on her back.

She tries to move, but can't.

---

Jane is lying her bed, trying to hold back tears. She still can't believe what Scott did to her.

She then notices a blazing house out her bedroom window. She gasps. "Morticia," she says. She puts her slippers on and rushes over.

Preston notices Jane rushing out her house. He makes a break for it.

Jane notices him. She now has to decide whether to pursue the criminal, or save Morticia, whom she believes is trapped in the blazing inferno. She goes with rescuing Morticia.

She rushes into the house, coughing and choking because of the smoke. When she gets up to Morticia's bedroom, she notices she isn't there.

"Where could *cough* she be?" Jane whispers to herself. She decides to check every room, but passes out from the smoke.

---

Robert can't sleep. Nothing out of the ordinary, it just happens to us sometimes.

Then, he notices something that is out of the ordinary: Morticia's house is on fire!

"Eri, wake up. Wake up!" Robert shakes his wife from her sleep.

"What is it?" Erica asks groggily.

"Look out there," Robert says, turning her head so she sees the burning house.

Erica gasps. "Oh, my God!"

"I'll go call 911!" Robert panics. He rushes to the phone.

As Erica sits up in shock, she remembers the time when she didn't trust anybody, not even her husband. But now she knows if this ever happened to her, somebody would notice and do the same thing.

---

Fire trucks and paramedics arrive at Morticia's house. A stretcher is carried out for Morticia while the firefighters put out the flame.

"Is there anyone else in there we should know about?" one of the paramedics says as he lifts Morticia onto the stretcher.

"No, not that I know of," Morticia says, for she didn't see Jane rush in to rescue her. The scene cuts to Jane lying on the floor briefly.

As the ambulance pulls Morticia away and the fire trucks pull away as well, Preston watches from behind some bushes. It then hits him: Somebody's still in there! He tries to catch the ambulances, but is too late.

Preston, knowing that the potential death of this person is entirely his fault, kneels down and cries. From this point, "Thief" by Our Lady Peace plays. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxtt0J7nmCY&feature=related

---

Scott still can't sleep, mostly because of his bedding arrangements. He decides to sneak onto the top bunk.

He succeeds, and tries to get to sleep. But now, he's prevented from sleeping because of his thoughts. He feels guilty for what he did to Beth, to Ed, to his wife, and to himself.

He tries to shrug it off and get to sleep, not knowing what happened to Jane.

---

Morticia is lying down in the ambulance, trying to recall the events that happened.

---

Robert walks back up to bed. "Well, I called 911. The fire looks to be put out."

Erica says, "Yes, and I saw Morticia being carried away on a stretcher. I think she'll be fine."

Robert smiles. "Now that's the Erica I love. Always looking on the bright side." He climbs into bed.

Erica agrees, "Yes, I'm just so glad that all of our neighbours are all right."

---

The scene cuts to Jane lying on the ground, unconcious. The screen fades to black, with the words "To be continued" appearing in white. "Thief" plays over the credits.

Yes, it was short. But it was one of my favourite episodes, and provides awesome cliffhangers for Season 2. Reviews, if ya don't mind.

Season 2

Episode 21: People Are Strange

We see Morticia lying in a hospital bed, back broken. The narrator says, "Morticia Fishkin's life was a great one. She made many friends along the way, had many adventures... some good, some bad, and some... in between."

The scene cuts to Morticia catching frogs with her brother in the swamp. "Like the time when she and her brother caught frogs together. They were soaked in mud and never caught any frogs, but it was a great bonding experience all the same."

The scene cuts to Morticia's old high school. "Or the time when she had her first relationship... it didn't end well, but it helped her find Mr. Right in the end." We see Morticia crying, eating lunch alone. Another fish walks up to her. "Hey... name's Harold," he says.

Morticia looks at him with tears in her eyes. "Somethin' wrong?" Harold asks.

"Oh... I've just been through a bad breakup," Morticia weeps.

"Ah," Harold nods knowingly. He sits next to Morticia. "D'you mind if I eat here? We can talk if you want."

Morticia smiles. "I'd like that."

The scene cuts to her at about 35 years old, dialing 911. "But possibly the most eventful thing to happen in her life... was Preston Phillips."

The scene cuts back to her, lying in her hospital bed. "Yes," the narrator continues. "Morticia Fishkin had lived a great life. And she was in no hurry to quit."

"That scumbag will stay in jail if I have anything to do with it!" she whispers to herself.

---

Ed yawns as he wakes up to his first full day in jail. He gets out of bed, and notices Scott is missing from his half.

He looks up to the top bunk and notices Scott sleeping soundly.

He quietly steps up the ladde, and leans in to Scott's ear. "WAKE UP, SCOTTY!" he yells.

Scott gets up as though somebody sent a jolt of electricity through his body. He notices Ed giggling. "What the heck was that?!" he demands.

"Your wake-up call," Ed says matter-of-factly. "What happened to 'my half, your half'?"

Scott notices a bigger, tougher criminal standing at his cell door across from them, glaring at Ed. He decides to change the subject. "I don't know, Ed, but I think you've made a new friend." He indicates the criminal by pointing.

Ed looks to where he's pointing and notices the criminal. He gulps.

"You think it's funny to wake me up from my dreams?" the criminal snarls.

"N-n-no, sir," Ed stammers. "I-I was just waking up my... cellmate here."

"Well, you woke me up too!" the criminal continues. "I don't like being woken up."

Ed gulps again. "N-no sir, of course. Sorry, sir."

The criminal grunts and returns to his bed.

Ed glares at Scott, who defends himself. "I'm not the one who woke him up."

Ed just sighs.

---

Robert and Erica are outside, staring at the damage caused to Morticia's house.

"Sweet little Morticia..." Erica sighs. "Who would do something like this?"

"I don't know, Erica, but I'd sure like to get my hands on him," Robert replies.

In the distance, Preston is watching from behind a bush. "This is ridiculous!" he says to himself. "I'm not getting anywhere hiding behind bushes. I need to buy a house here."

He takes another glance at Morticia's house. "...Preferably far away from that one."

---

"Come on in," the real estate person says to Preston warmly. Preston steps into the house and looks around. A family of 5 steps up, with the mother pregnant.

"Hello," Preston greets them. "I noticed you were selling your house, and I've been looking for one in this neighbourhood."

"Oh, yes," the mother says. "I would have liked to stay here, but another kid's coming, and we need a bigger house..."

"Not to say this one doesn't have plenty of room!" the real estate guy cuts in. "I think you'll find that..."

"Cut the... stop stretching the truth," Preston catches himself in front of the children. He takes a brief look around, and nods in approval. "I like it."

The real estate person is confused. "But... don't you want me to show you the kitchen?..."

"No need," Preston replies, surveying the room again. "I have a feeling this house will be perfect."

"Well... that's great!" the salesperson says. He shakes Preston's hand, giving it a few swift pumps. He then lets go. "Would you like to pay by cash or cheque?"

"Oh... cash! Cash," Preston quickly decides, not wanting anyone to see his bank account's information. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of money, equal to the amount advertised for the house.

The salesperson takes the cash, and looks at him warily. "I don't mean to pry, sir, but do you feel safe carrying around that much money?"

"Well... let's just say that I am very trusting of people," Preston replies. "When should I come back to get all my stuff?"

The salesperson turns to the family. "Will 2 days be enough to pack your stuff and move out?" he asks them.

"That should be fine," the father replies.

"All right, then I'll be back in 2 days," Preston says. He shakes the hands of all the adults, then leaves.

---

Several people are holding Morticia down by her limbs, as she tries to struggle free.

"Morticia dear, we just want to make sure you're absolutely okay before you leave the hospital..." one of the nurses says.

"I'm FINE! Why do you think I'm struggling free?!" Morticia replies indignantly.

"You broke your back jumping out of that window, Morticia. You're not okay," a doctor says.

Morticia stops struggling. "You're right," she agrees. "I'm not okay."

The doctors and nurses let go of her, satisfied she's come to her senses. Just as they are leaving, though, Morticia asks them, "And would you like to know why I'm not okay?"

They all turn around. "Why, Morticia?" one of the doctors asks.

"Because," Morticia replies gravely, "there's a maniac prowling the streets of not only where I live, but where all my dear friends live as well. And he's already done this to me, so God help them, because you won't let me put a stop to it. Hell, you won't even let me get out of bed." She crosses her arms indignantly.

"Believe me, Morticia," the doctor says, "we're doing everything we can to catch this maniac."

"Are you?" Morticia simply says. She then lies back down. "Well, if you're not going to help me help myself, then at least get me some orange juice. I'm parched."

Feeling somewhat guilty, the doctors leave, except for one nurse that stays behind.

"Do you really want to help your friends?" she whispers to Morticia.

"More than anything," Morticia pleads.

The nurse looks around to see if anyone's listening. When she sees no one, she turns back to Morticia. "There's a wheelchair in the back room designed for people with broken backs," she whispers. "Of course, you're supposed to be bedridden for a couple more days..."

"We don't have 'a couple more days'. My friends' lives are in danger," Morticia says gravely. "So, are you going to help me or not?"

The nurse looks around for people once again. She then gulps, and says, "I'll go get the wheelchair."

As she walks out, a doctor comes in with a glass of orange juice. "Here you are," he says warmly. Then, noticing the smile on her face, he says, "Well, that's more like it! Only a couple more days and we can get you started on moving. Now, don't you feel better?"

Morticia takes the orange juice. "More than you know, Doctor," she replies.

---

Erica is looking out her window at the damage to Morticia's house from the fire. She sighs.

Robert looks up from his newspaper. "Eri, sweetie, standing there every day isn't going to help the house get better."

"It's so infuriating," Erica says. "How can somebody as kind as Morticia have... this happen to them?"

"Erica, there's a lot of things about human nature we don't understand," Robert replies. "People can be strange sometimes."

"I guess you're right," Erica says sorrowfully, still looking out the window.

---

The nurse brings the wheelchair into Morticia's room. "All right, are you ready?" she asks.

Morticia is now the one looking wary. "Sweetie, I wouldn't want you to lose your job over this... are you sure it's all right?"

The nurse turns serious. "No, I don't care if I get fired over this," she replies. "You're just like me when I broke my leg in a car accident."

Morticia raises her eyebrows. The nurse continues, "Yes, it was only a couple years ago. I was driving down I-95, when a car driving down the wrong side of the road came careening down the other way, and smashed into mine. He turned out to be drunk. So, after that, I just wanted to get out of my hospital bed and start a crusade against drunk drivers. Because I was one of the lucky ones."

"Did you ever achieve that goal?" Morticia asks.

The nurse opens her jacket to reveal a button on her shirt that says, "Proud member of FADD - Fish Against Drunk Driving."

"I achieved my goal in justice," the nurse says. "And now I want you to do the same."

Morticia smiles. "Well, what are we waiting for, then?" She gets up, and the nurse helps her into the wheelchair.

---

("People Are Strange" by The Doors plays through this scene and the credits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJY8jJkDoMY&feature=related )

Preston isn't really sure where to go for the next two days. It's not like they have a special home for fugitives - well, other than jail, of course.

So he decides that the only place he can go is on the streets. He keeps walking until he gets to the city. He then looks for a cardboard box to reside in. He walks past a "Wanted" poster of himself, without anyone else on the streets.

Fade to black, credits.

---

The return is here! Kind of a lackluster ending, I admit, but I still think it's a decent start to Season 2. Reviews appreciated, as always.

Awesome, Wumbology. A solid start to Season 2.

Episode 22: The Customer is Always Right

Preston is sitting in a cardboard box, trying to keep a low profile.

Another homeless person comes along and asks, "You using that box?"

Preston looks up, bewildered. "Um, yes..."

"D'you mind if we share? Mine got blown away in the wind."

Preston scoffs, "Why not just check the dumpster?"

"That's not part of the hobo code, son," the homeless man declares, now glaring at Preston.

"The... hobo code," Preston says, trying to comprehend.

The man nods. "Yep, the hobo code. Rule #1: 'Look out for your fellow hoboes.'"

"You know what? Why don't you just take this box? I can... find another one," Preston suggests.

The man has now gotten a good look at Preston. "Do I know you?"

"No, I don't believe we've met."

"You sure? I never forget a face," the man insists.

"Yes... well, you must have me confused with someone else," Preston insists. "Bye-bye! Enjoy your box."

He walks away, right past a "Wanted" poster depicting his face.

---

Ed is eating his dinner at a table. Just then, the criminal whom he woke up before sits across from him.

"Uhh... hi," Ed says, not wanting to upset him again.

"Can the courtesy," the criminal grunts. "I heard about what happened with your wife."

Ed looks stunned. "How... how did you..."

"Word gets around here," the criminal explains. "I understand why you guys are at each other's throats now. Personally, I'm on your side here."

Ed isn't sure whether to be relieved or scared. "Um... thanks," he replies.

The criminal takes a spoonful of his gruel. "So... how'd you get in here?" he asks.

"Um... uh..." Ed stammers, for he does not know if what he did would be frowned upon by this guy. "What did you do?"

"I asked first," the criminal insists.

Ed gulps. "Well... I ran over a girl," he says, ashamed.

The criminal stares menacingly at Ed, who is beginning to sweat profusely.

The criminal takes on a more lighthearted look. "Good ol' manslaughter, huh?" he chuckles.

Ed looks bewildered. The criminal gets up to shake Ed's hand. "Welcome to the club, man. I'm in here for manslaughter, too. In fact..." he indicates a group of others sitting around a table. "...So are all of them."

Ed is still confused. "Wait... you guys take pride in killing someone by accident?" he asks in disbelief.

"Oh, I wouldn't say pride... but it is something that brings us together," the criminal explains.

Ed nods, still somewhat confused.

The criminal indicates Scott eating alone at a faraway table. "Now, a rapist... I've got no respect for them. They deserve whatever they get. But we made accidents. We're really good people. Get what I'm saying?"

Ed smiles. "Well, if you guys like me and not Scott, then I'm pretty much ready to get anything you're saying."

The criminal laughs. "Man, I like you, Ed," he says. "Name's John, by the way."

Ed nods, and they shake hands again. The criminal then says, "Well, now that the formal introduction's out of the way, let's get you to meet the rest of the gang."

"All right, then..." Ed replies, still feeling somewhat uneasy.

---

Beth is knocking on Jane's door, to see how she's doing. When she finds that there's no answer, she goes back home.

"I wonder what happened to her?" Beth says. "She hasn't answered her door in days. I don't think I'm catching her at bad times..."

She shrugs. "Maybe she just needs some time to recover." She walks back home.

---

The nurse is pushing Morticia up the ramp into the back area of her van. "Let's just strap you in there tight..." she says.

After she's done securing Morticia into the back, she asks, "All right, now where are we going?"

"Coral Drive. You know where that is?" Morticia asks.

"Oh, yes," the nurse reassures her. "Don't worry, I've got everything under control."

"Thank you," Morticia says earnestly.

"No need to thank me," the nurse replies. "Let's just get you home."

She gets into the front seat of her van and drives off.

Some time later, they arrive at Coral Drive. "There! That's my house!" Morticia exclaims, pointing it out.

The nurse makes a face. "Yikes. It looks like it's in pretty bad shape."

"This is the work of Preston Phillips," Morticia replies gravely. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's still lurking around here."

---

Preston is beginning the long walk back to Coral Drive, and his new house. He is ready to begin a new life.

He finally arrives at the edge of the street. He rubs his hands together. "Perfect," he grins evilly. "Now, to keep a low profile..."

He casually walks down the street to his new house, approaching a moving van.

The salesman is standing on the porch. "Well, sir? Are you ready to begin a new life?"

Preston smiles sinisterly. "You have no idea."

He then notices a woman pushing another woman in a wheelchair up the street. He gulps. "Well, I'd best be coming inside..."

Down the street, the nurse and Morticia are both looking around for Preston. "D'you see him?' the nurse asks.

"Nowhere," Morticia admits remorsefully.

"Look, I don't even know who I'm supposed to be looking for," the nurse says in a frustrated manner. "Could you give me some sort of description?"

"Well, he's fairly tall, skinny..." Morticia then notices Preston's face peeking from behind a curtain. "...like that guy right there!"

The nurse looks around. "Where? Where?"

"Go to the house with the moving van in front!" Morticia commands.

The nurse wheels Morticia over to said house, where the salesman is still standing on the porch. "Excuse me, can I help you...?" he begins.

"Yeah, you can help us! Get out of our way!" Morticia snaps.

"You're not going to be able to get that wheelchair up the stairs, you know..." the salesman says, trying to be helpful.

"Try us," Morticia seethes. The nurse struggles to push the wheelchair up the stairs, and finally gives up. "He's right, Morticia," she says. "It's not gonna work."

"Is there something you request with someone?" the salesperson asks.

"Yes," Morticia says, aggravated. "Go into that house, and tell that son of a bitch inside it to come out NOW!"

"Um, okay..." the salesperson says. "But may I ask that you don't refer to my customers in that manner?"

Morticia looks at the salesman pityingly. "Are you that thick?" she asks.

The salesman is taken aback. "I beg your pardon?"

"Do the words 'Preston Phillips' ring a bell to you?" Morticia asks, still aggravated.

"No, ma'am, they don't," the salesperson says, now becoming a little aggravated himself. "May I ask what business you have with the owner?"

"I'll tell you what 'business' I have with him," Morticia snaps. "It's his fault I'm in a wheelchair right now. It's his fault that my house is a wreck. And if you don't let me see him right now, my nurse here will kick you where the sun don't shine."

The salesperson looks warily at the nurse, who is glaring at him. "All right, I'll go get him."

He walks into the house. "There are some people at the door for you," he says.

Preston walks up to the salesperson. "Tell them to get lost," he seethes.

"Apparently you caused the older one to be in a wheelchair..."

Preston grabs the salesperson by the shoulders harshly. "I TOLD you, tell him to get LOST!" he says harshly.

"Sir, is there a problem...?" the salesperson asks, shaking.

"Yes! You're not listening to me!" (By this time, the moving van and family have already left.) Preston wraps his hands around the guy's throat, and strangles him.

He brings the salesperson into his backyard, and buries him.

He then walks up to the front door and locks it.

Morticia notices him locking the door, and she knew that something happened to the salesman. "Come on, let's just go," she says to the nurse.

"Just go? We've come all this way..." the nurse protests.

"I don't care. Bring me back to the hospital," Morticia says. "I've been gone long enough."

The nurse looks at Morticia pityingly. "Don't tell me you're giving up."

"I'm not. But, what is there for me to do?"

"Good point," the nurse sighs. "Just pray for your friends back at the hospital." She wheels Morticia back to the van.

Fade to black, credits.

Episode 23: Plans (Part I)

Preston is sitting at his new kitchen table, hands folded. The narrator says, "Preston Phillips was a very disturbed man. Some of it came from family baggage..."

Cut to a scene where Preston's dad is yelling at him as a kid. "You listen to me! You'll never amount to anything! Know why? Because you're a failure, just like your mother!"

"Some of it came from peer pressure..." Cut to Preston in high school, walking home, where he sees a group of fish his age smoking cigarettes. "Hey, Prez..." one of them says. "Want a smoke?"

"I... I don't know, guys, my dad would kill me if he found out..." Preston replies warily.

The fish walks up to him and hands him a cigarette. "Then don't let him find out!" he says.

Not knowing how to say "no", Preston replies, "Well, okay...", still wary. He takes the cigarette and lights it up.

"...But whatever it was that caused Preston to become so emotionally disturbed..."

We see the burial site of the salesman Preston strangled, marked by a small white flag. "...it certainly did its job."

We see Preston's open desk drawer, filled with several white flags.

---

"I don't get it!" the nurse says, obviously frustrated. She and Morticia are going back to the van. "You went on about how you wanted to help your friends... yet we're going back to the van without doing anything!"

"I am so sorry..." Morticia says, guilt-stricken. "I thought I would have been able to confront him... but I couldn't."

"Well, that's lovely," the nurse says. "I drive you all the way here to help your entire neighbourhood from this man, and what do we get? Wasted gas." They make it to the van. The nurse sighs, and says, "I'd better get the ramp for you..."

"No," Morticia simply replies.

"No?" the nurse repeats.

"You're right," Morticia says. "I came here to help my friends, and that's what I'm going to do..."

She looks back at the nurse. "...and if you don't want to come with me this time, I understand. And I can manage." She wheels off by herself.

The nurse looks at Morticia wheel onto another household's driveway.

Morticia notices the stairs, and snorts in disgust. "It wouldn't hurt to get some ramps built into here," she insists. She wheels up to the flat part of the driveway, and decides the only thing that she can do is yell. "ERICA! ERICA!"

Erica, who is reading a magazine on her living room couch, is taken by surprise. She goes to the door to see who it is. She gasps when she sees. "Morticia!"

"Could you come out here?" Morticia asks. "There's something I need to tell you."

---

"For God's sake, not another criminal!" Erica says in disgust.

"Believe it," Morticia replies gravely. "And it's my turn to have a history with him."

"What happened?" Erica asks.

Morticia's face clouds. "It all started 20 years ago..."

---

Morticia is walking down the street, when she decides to pop into the hardawre store to get supplies for Harold's kitchen remodeling.

But she notices that the lights are out in the store, and finds this odd, because the store does not normally close this early. She decides to go in anyway, just to make sure everything's all right.

She opens the door and finds the hardware store manager lying on the ground in a pool of blood. Preston is standing over him with a gun.

Morticia gasps, which takes Preston by shock. "Get out. Get out, NOW!" he orders. Morticia rushes out of the store and into the next one over. She rushes up to the cashier. "Can I use your phone?" she asks.

The cashier looks at Morticia with concern. "What's happened?"

"The hardware store manager is dead! I need to call 911!" Morticia yells distressfully.

"Okay, okay..." the cashier replies, handing her the phone.

Morticia grabs it and dials 911. A police officer on the other end picks it up. "Hello, 911, what's your emergency?"

"The hardware store manager has been shot!" Morticia blubbers.

"Okay, just calm down, ma'am," the police officer soothes. "Can you give me your location?"

"My - location?" Morticia repeats, still distressed. She turns to the cashier. "Where are we?"

"406 Conch," the cashier replies.

"406 Conch," Morticia repeats into the phone.

"Okay, we'll send officers over there right away," the police officer replies.

"Okay, thank you!" Morticia replies. She goes to hang up the phone.

"Wait, wait!" the police officer shouts, so Morticia can hear. "I want you to stay at the scene of the crime, okay?"

"Okay," Morticia says, bursting into tears from being overwhelmed.

"Just stay calm, ma'am. We're on our way," the police officer reassures her. He then hangs up the phone.

After waiting what seemed like an eternitty to Morticia, the police finally come to the scene. Morticia walks out and leads them to the hardware store. She opens the door to reveal the manager... but Preston is long gone.

"Can you give us a description of the criminal?" a police officer asks Morticia.

---

"And that's exactly what I did," Morticia says, finishing her story. "They caught him, and now he's out to get me. Possibly all of you as well."

"Why, that scumbag!" Erica says disgustedly.

"Now, I want to stop him, but - well - look at me," Morticia says, drawing attention to the fact that she's in a wheelchair.

"Don't you worry, Morticia," Erica replies. "We'll get everyone we know to stop this... scumbag!"

Morticia smiles. "Want me to teach you some grown-up curse words, sweetie? I know lots."

"You may not want to insult your accomplice," Erica points out.

"Fair enough," Morticia says. "Go into your house and call everyone you know. Tell Robert, too!"

"Will do!" Erica replies. She rushes back into the house.

Morticia smiles, grateful to have such great friends.

Just then, one hand covers her mouth, while the other grabs the handle of the wheelchair! Morticia looks up to see who it is.

"Great plan, Morticia," Preston says, grimacing. "But you could have executed it better than this."

Fade to black. "To be continued" is shown on the screen. Credits.

---

OMG, like totally the best episode of Season 2 so far. Reviews, please.

Episode 24: Plans (Part II)

Previously on Coral Drive...

"Go into your house and call everyone you know," Morticia says. "Tell Robert, too!"

"Will do!" Erica replies. She rushes back into the house.

Morticia smiles, grateful to have such great friends.

Just then, one hand covers her mouth, while the other grabs the handle of the wheelchair! Morticia looks up to see who it is.

"Great plan, Morticia," Preston says, grimacing. "But you could have executed it better than this."

---

Preston is wheeling Morticia to his new home, one hand still clamped over her mouth. Morticia tries to scream, but it comes out muffled.

"Don't bother with that, Morticia," Preston snickers. "They won't hear you."

"MMMMMM! MMMMMM! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Morticia tries to scream. But hardly a sound comes out.

"Don't worry, Morticia," Preston says. "I've got something special planned for you."

Because his front porch has stairs, he opens the gate and wheels Morticia into the backyard, shutting the gate behind him. He then opens the screen door, wheels Morticia into his house, and shuts it behind him.

Preston grins. "As you've probably noticed, my house is not very accesible to wheelchair-ridden people. But I didn't want you to miss out on this just because you're crippled." He chuckles.

He gets a piece of duct tape and places it over her mouth. Morticia can do nothing except glare at him.

Preston walks around the room aimlessly. "That was some fire, eh?" he remarks. "It's a shame you broke your back. Because I was putting you down for 'dead'."

"I never forgave you for putting me in prison, Morticia. I'm not a... bad person. What is a 'bad person', anyway? I prefer to be called 'eccentric'."

"I never thought this day would come, honestly. I could kill you." Morticia begins to sweat. "But between your broken back and your old age, I'd say you're already half-dead." Despite the cutting remark, Morticia relaxes.

"No, I'm not going to kill you," Preston continues. "But I am going to get revenge on you. For what you did to me."

"MMM! MMMMM! MMMMMM!" Morticia is trying to yell, because she is angry.

"Oh, don't waste your breath," Preston scoffs. "You're not going to say anything through that tape."

He pours himself a cup of coffee. "You probably think I'm going to tell you my plan," he continues. "You take me for an idiot, don't you?"

"No, I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do. You don't deserve to know."

Preston walks out the front door. "Well, I'm off to execute a plan properly. Toodles!" He shuts it behind him.

---

Erica has just finished phoning everyone in the neighbourhood. Everybody responded in the affirmative, except Jane, who didn't answer. Now, all she has to do is tell Robert, who is currently taking a nap. But after all, friends are more important than naps.

She rushes upstairs to the bedroom and shakes Robert. "Robert, wake up!"

Robert opens his eyes groggily. "Eri, I've had a rough day and I'm trying to nap."

"There's something more important than that! C'mon!" Erica coaxes him out of bed.

"What's so important that I can't get some sleep?" Robert yawns, sitting up.

"What's so important? Try the entire neighbourhood's lives!" Erica declares.

"Erica, I swear, if you're just being melodramatic again..." Robert warns.

"You'll never know unless you come along, will you?!" Erica insists, becoming frustrated.

"All right, all right..." Robert finally agrees. He gets his shoes on.

He and Erica walk outside to see a crowd of their neighbours there, very confused. "Where's Morticia?" one of them pipes up.

"She was waiting right here..." Erica says, just as confused as the rest. "What could have happened to her?"

"What indeed?" someone calls out, walking down the street. It's Preston!

"Who are you?" Erica asks.

"I've always lived here... it's just that I've kept to myself," Preston replies. "The only person I ever knew on these streets was Morticia. Were you just talking about her?"

"Yes," Erica replies sadly. "She told me about a problem with this guy named Preston. She was right here, but something happened to her."

"Well, if I remember Morticia correctly... she was always a compulsive liar," Preston says.

"What?" Beth gasps.

"No!" Allison insists.

"Listen, sir, I understand that you're probably trying to make light of this situation..." Erica says. "But you have to understand that we're not in the mood for jokes."

"Oh, I wish I was joking," Preston replies sadly. "But from the moment I met Morticia, she always wanted to stir up drama with these ridiculous lies. What did she tell you?"

"Well..." Erica begins. "She told us that there's a criminal on these streets named Preston Phillips. She also said that he was out to get all of us. I mean, he's probably the one who burned down her house!" Erica indicates the remains of Morticia's house.

"Oh, dear..." Preston replies. "And she went through all that trouble for drama?"

"What do you mean?" Erica asks.

"Well, it's obvious she started that fire herself," Preston replies. "And now she's blaming people you've never heard of before?"

"Well, she told us about having a backstory with this man, and it sounds pretty convincing..." Erica says, now unsure.

"Didn't I tell you?" Preston insists. "She's had experience with this sort of thing! If I were you, I wouldn't trust anything she says anymore."

Erica crosses her arms indignantly. "I still find it hard to belive she burned down her house just for the sake of a lie," she says.

"Hey, we all find it hard to believe," Preston replies. "But it's like a sickness. She won't stop at anything to lie to people. To create drama! You never know... she might resort to murder next," he continues, eyeing the crowd precariously.

"No!" Beth gasps.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this," Preston says remorsefully. "But you all deserve to know. In the meantime, I'd stay away from Morticia. You never know who she's going to hurt next with her devious mind."

Erica is stunned by his words. "W-well, thank you," she finally replies. "I-I'm sorry, but... I'm just shocked, is all. Morticia is one of the last people I would suspect to lie to me."

Preston places a hand on her shoulder sympathetically. "Well, unfortunately, sometimes the people we suspect the least are the ones we have to suspect the most," he says.

Robert walks up and takes the hand off his wife's shoulder. "Yeah, don't get too touchy-feely here, buddy," he warns.

"Of course, sir. I apologize," Preston replies. "Well, I just thought I'd let you know this. Good day." He walks back up the street.

"Wait!" Erica exclaims. "Weren't you going that way?" she asks, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Oh, I was just going out for a short walk to clear my mind," Preston replies. "I have lots of work to do, and I was just taking a break. Anyhow, nice meeting you all," he says, turning back around.

"Wait!" Erica exclaims again. Preston turns around. "What is your name?"

"Oh, silly me," Preston chuckles. "I was so caught up in telling you this, I forgot to introduce myself." He walks back up to Erica and shakes her hand. "Justin Bigelow." He then proceeds to shake hands with all the others, which takes awhile. He tries to hide his annoyance.

"Well, keep in touch!" Erica replies.

"I'll try my best. As I said, I'm a very busy man," Preston says. "Goodbye for now!" He turns around to walk back to his house.

Erica looks at him quizzically. Robert walks up to her. "Good old Morticia, who would've thought, huh?"

"Yeah..." Erica replies distantly. She then turns to face the crowd. "Well, I think we've all seen enough," she says, close to tears. "Go on about your businesses."

The crowd disbands, with an overall puzzled emotion. Erica weeps.

Robert places a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Eri."

"No, it's not!" Erica says between tears. "What is 'okay' about finding out one of my once best friends can't be trusted?!"

Robert says seriously, "Finding out." He then walks back into the house.

Erica says to herself, "Whoever said 'ignorance is bliss' was right on the money."

---

Preston returns home, with Morticia still sitting there. "Oh, good girl," he approves. "You haven't moved from your spot."

Morticia narrows her eyes at him. "Well, I have no use for you being stuck here anymore," Preston says. "Time to get you back on the streets."

He pushes Morticia out the back door, through the gate, and onto his front lawn. He then rips the tape off and rushes back inside.

Morticia quickly wheels herself back to Erica's house, noticing that no one is there, not even Erica. "Erica? Erica?" she yells.

Erica opens the door forcefully. "Oh, what do you want now, Morticia?"

"Where is everybody?" Morticia asks.

"They've all gone home," Erica scoffs. "Oh, by the way, you're absolutely sick. Get some help or something." She slams the door.

"But-" Morticia replies too late.

Suddenly, two paramedics rush up and grab Morticia's wheelchair. "Thank goodness we found you!" one of them says. "We've got to get you back to the hospital."

"W-what? What happened to the nurse?" Morticia asks.

"Oh, don't worry about her. You won't be seeing her in our hospital anymore," the other one replies. "All right, let's go, Jeff," he says, addressing his partner.

As she is wheeled to the hospital van, Morticia is both shocked and confused. So many thoughts rush through her head. What happened to Erica? What did Preston do? And will anything ever be the same again?

Fade to black, credits.

---

I love Preston. I know it's kind of egotistical to say you love one of your own spin-off characters, but he's my favourite villain so far. Reviews plz.

Episode 25: Be Happy, It's Christmas!

Morticia is lying in the hospital bed, still wondering what came over Erica. She was worried that maybe Preston got to her. But she can't say too much now, because somebody from the hospital is always watching her.

"What did you do with that nurse?" she finally demands.

One of the people who escorted her into the ambulance is currently watching her, the one named Jeff. He answers, "She was fired, lady. What do you think we did with her?"

Morticia goes silent. Jeff asks, "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no," Morticia answers. "I perfectly understand why you fired a kind person who helped me out when I was in distress!"

"That 'kind person' could have permanently injured you, you realize," Jeff tries to reason.

"Jeff... that's your name, right?" Morticia replies. Jeff nods, so she continues. "I'm 65 years old, and I doubt that I have even five years left in me. I don't care if I'm 'permanently injured', as long as my friends know that there's a madman on their street, and he is permanently stopped from causing any more damage."

Jeff chuckles. "Meaning no disrespect, ma'am, but you yourself said that you're 65, and you're in a wheelchair. What could you possibly do?"

"Well, it's a good thing you said 'meaning no disrespect' or I would have been really offended," Morticia scoffs. She points a finger at Jeff as menacingly as she possibly can. "Listen to me, you insulting bastard. Until you have been in my shoes and witnessed eveything I have, you have absolutely no right to chuckle at my ambitions or condescend me. Shame on you!"

"All right, all right..." Jeff defends himself. "I'm sorry."

Morticia sighs. "It's not just you," she tells him. "My generation is always underestimated. It's probably because the retirement home people are giving us a bad rap. I mean, fuck, these people can't even CHEW by themselves."

"I never said you couldn't chew by yourself..." Jeff objects.

"That's not my point." Morticia rolls her eyes. "Our generation gets no respect. Why, just today, when I was going to my dear friend Erica for help with this madman thing, she shut the door in my face. Now, I don't know whether Preston got to her or she just stopped believing in me, but I don't like it."

Jeff grows interested. "Tell me more about this 'Preston'."

"Man, what's there to tell?" Morticia begins. "He's a ruthless scumbag who will stop at nothing to do whatever he wants. Why, before you came to get me, I was locked up in his house, duct tape over my mouth! Meanwhile, he was out there pulling some scheme, and I have no idea what he did!" She starts to cry from frustration.

"Okay, ma'am, just settle down," Jeff says, trying to calm her down.

"It's just hard," Morticia cries. "It's hard when no one believes you for some odd reason."

Jeff is now feeling sorry for Morticia. "Well... if it's any consolation... I believe you."

Between tears, Morticia manages to croak out a "thank you". She is now tired from everything that has recently happened, and drifts off to sleep.

Jeff tucks her in sadly, then walks out, ending his shift. The other paramedic who brought Morticia back arrives. "Yeesh, what's got you so down in the dumps?" he remarks to his partner.

"It's... it's a long story," Jeff says.

---

Erica is sipping a cup of coffee, once again feeling disillusioned. Morticia lied to her? She still can barely believe it.

Robert comes downstairs with a box full of Christmas decorations. "Hey, babe..." he remarks to his wife. "Wanna help me set up for the holidays?"

"No thanks, Robert..." Erica sighs. "I'm not in the mood."

Robert places the decorations down on a table and walks into the kitchen to comfort Erica. "Sweetie... are you still feeling sad about Morticia?"

"I'm not sure if 'sad' is the right word, Robert..." Erica replies. "'Disillusioned', maybe. 'Out of sorts'. That kinda thing."

Robert sits next to her and puts an arm around her shoulders. "Erica... I realize that Morticia was one of your best friends, but you have to let her go... if we can't trust her, she's not our friend."

"But I want to trust her, Robert." Tears well up in Erica's eyes. "I wanted to be there for Morticia... I wanted to help her with her problem."

"Which she didn't have," Robert reminds her.

Erica buries her head in her hands. "I just don't know... I want to believe her... but I'm not sure I can."

"Well..." Robert replies, grasping for words. "I'll give you more time to mull this over." He kisses her on the cheek. "In the meantime, try to get into the Christmas spirit. It's supposed to be a happy time."

He walks away whistling, leaving Erica sitting there with her coffee. "It's supposed to be a happy time," Robert had said. So why can't she feel it?

---

Beth is sitting alone as well, eating cereal. The corn flakes are soggy, but after losing her husband to the police, and losing trust in both Scott and Morticia, she feels that the sogginess works.

Just then, there's a knock at the door. Beth gets up to answer it.

It's Allison! "Hey Beth, we were just going to decorate our Christmas tree, and we remembered that you were going to be all alone this Christmas. So Jimmy here and I were wondering if you wanted to spend it with us?"

Tears form in Beth's eyes, but these are tears of joy. "Yes, I would like that very much," she replies.

"Great! Let's go!" Allison invites her.

Jimmy jumps up and down, barely containing his glee. "Yay! Christmas!" he cheers.

They all walk over to Allison's house.

---

Scott and Ed are in their cell. While Ed is now loving the prison life now that he's part of this "gang", Scott is stewing in anger. This has created a very hostile environment. The two hardly speak to each other anymore.

Scott finally breaks the silence. "What's the matter with you?" he finally says.

"The matter with me? Sorry Scott, you must have mistook me for someone with problems. I'm fine!" Ed proclaims.

"I mean, what's your deal with always being Mr. Popular everywhere?" Scott demands.

"Well, pardon me because I'm liked," Ed replies sarcastically.

"No, I won't!" Scott replies, irate. "You always have to be better than me at everything!"

"It's not like I'm popular on purpose..." Ed reasons with him. "It just comes naturally to me... and everyone else to like me."

"That's right, you're so innocent," Scott replies sarcastically.

"Look, it's not my fault that I'm part of a group who prefers manslaughter over intentional rape," Ed seethes, letting the last words sink in.

"Oh, please. You're still ragging on me about that?" Scott scoffs.

"Yes! You raped my wife!" Ed yells.

"Well yeah, but... aren't these types of things supposed to blow over?" Scott tries to reason.

"Raping my wife is not something that's just going to 'blow over', Scott," Ed seethes. "You need to stop living life like an irresponsible twit."

"I don't need to take advice from a drunk driver," Scott shoots back.

The guy who had initiated Ed into the gang in the first place catches Scott's last words. "What was that? You were driving drunk?" He glares at Ed.

"Well... I... Uh..." Ed grabs his collar, sweating nervously.

The guy grabs his cell bars menacingly. "I lost my wife to idiots like you," he snarls. "You're out of the gang, and into a world of pain."

"Merry Christmas, Scott," Scott says to himself, chuckling softly. Ed just glares.

---

("Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by U2 plays throughout this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebiVOt-gqa0&feature=related )

Beth is helping Allison and Jimmy decorate their Christmas tree. However, Beth is not exactly in the Christmas cheer. She is sniffling back tears while doing it.

"What's wrong, Beth?" Allison asks, noticing her sadness.

"Oh... nothing," Beth replies. "Should I hang these ornaments on these branches?" she asks, desperately trying to change the subject.

Allison is persistent. "Something's wrong. You can tell me."

"Well..." Beth is reluctant, because Jimmy is in the room.

"What's wrong with Mrs. Flounder?" Jimmy questions.

"Jimmy, why don't you go listen to that 'Night Before Christmas' tape again?" Allison suggests, trying to get Jimmy out of the room.

"Okay!" Jimmy replies, because it's one of his favourite stories. He rushes upstairs.

Allison turns to Beth. "Now, you were saying?"

"Oh... it's Ed," Beth replies.

Allison immediately understands. "Oh... this will be your first Christmas without him since your married," she replies.

Beth nods sadly, and begins to weep. Allison embraces her in a hug. "He's not a bad person," Beth sobs. "He just made a mistake."

"I know," says Allison, and she means it. "I also know that Christmas with us probably won't be the same as Christmas with your husband. But we'll make it so you still have a great Christmas. Okay?"

Beth sniffles back tears. "I know. And I can't thank you enough for letting me spend Christmas with you."

Allison lets go and smiles. "Well, isn't the true meaning of Christmas spending time with family... and friends?"

Beth smiles back.

---

"What do you mean no one will watch the woman in room 304?" the head of the hospital demands to the lady at the front desk.

"Don't ask me. Every time we send a new one in there, they come out drenched in tears, saying that they shouldn't be so sad around Christmas time."

"What's so sad about an old woman who tries to escape from a hospital?!" the head scoffs. "Fine! I'll watch her!" He marches into room 304.

"All right, you," he says to Morticia, pointing a menacing finger at her. "I don't know what you did to our staff, but don't think we're gonna let you escape again."

"Yes, I understand this hospital has impeccable security," Morticia replies dryly. "Keep the good people inside, while the bad ones roam the streets."

"What the hell are you talking about?" the head demands.

Morticia points to the door. "Outside this hospital, on my street, there lives a criminal."

We see Preston sitting at his kitchen table, drinking coffee. "This is no ordinary criminal. He's got an especially devious mind. In fact, if he wasn't evil, he could have been a scientist. or a lawyer. Or whatever he wanted to be. Unfortunately, he took the criminal route."

Preston finishes his coffee and goes to stare out the window, at the grave of the salesman he buried, still marked by a white flag. "Because he's so smart, he's that more dangerous. Who knows what he's planning to do next?"

We see Morticia and the head of the hospital, who is staring at her blankly. "Didn't it ever occur to you to just call the police?"

"I need to remember the address first," Morticia replies, thinking hard back to when she saw the house that Preston led her to. "55! 55 Coral Drive," she states proudly.

"Do you want me to call the police, or do you want to do it yourself?" the head asks.

"I'll do it," Morticia replies, as the head hands the phone over to her. She dials 911. "Looks like it's going to be a merry Christmas after all," she whispers under her breath.

Somebody picks up the phone on the other end. "911, what's your emergency?" he asks.

"I've located Preston Phillips," Morticia replies.

"Can you give us an address?" the police officer replies, now sounding interested.

"55. 55 Coral Drive," she replies.

"We'll send officers right over," the police officer replies, hanging up the phone.

Morticia gleefully hangs up as well. "They're on their way," she says to the head proudly.

"Glad to hear it," the head replies. "So I assume this means you're not going to escape, and we don't need someone watching you 24/7?"

"Oh, definitely not," Morticia replies. "The situation should be in good hands now."

---

Preston is still looking out the window, contemplating his life thus far. Vague memories of his childhood float through his head....

"You'll never amount to anything!" His father's words echo in his head.

"Want a smoke?" His peers' words echo in his head as well.

"POW! POW! POW!" The sound of every blow to the arm by his father after he found out about Preston smoking is the next thing to echo in his head.

Now Preston has a headache. He lifts up his sleeve to look at the lasting bruises on his arm. He sneers at them, then goes to light up a cigarette.

Just then, he hears a knock at the door. He peers out to see who it is. When he sees a group of armed officers, he panics and runs out back.

"He's heading for the woods!" one of the officers says. "Let's get him!" They rush around to the sidewalk leading to the woods.

Preston looks all asround him, sweat frantically dripping down his face. He doesn't know where to turn, or if he should just stay put.

The group of officers spots him, and runs after him. He runs deeper into the woods... right into a rabid raccoon, which sneers at him, jumps up, and bites his finger.

Preston, though infected with rabies, smiles softly. There was nothing anyone could do to him anymore. He turns himself in, giggling maniacally.

He gets put in the highest-security cell in the town. He doesn't try to escape. He doesn't even eat. He just lies on his stone-cold bed, staring at the ceiling. More words echo in his head, but now they are soft and soothing. He has a flashback to when he was just a baby, and his mother was placing him in his crib.

"Go to sleep now, little Preston," his mother says. "Someday you're going to grow up to be a hero. And no matter what happens, I will always be proud of you."

"I will always be proud of you..." the words echo in Preston's head. He then turns over, and falls asleep, despite the hard bed.

---

("Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Pretenders plays through the following scenes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcQU3LYNZQc )

Erica is hanging ornaments on the tree, despite still feeling sad about Morticia. "Ah, Christmas," the narrator says. "A time of happiness..."

"Togetherness..." Allison and Beth are in the mall, while Jimmy is sitting on Santa's lap. "And I want a yoy-yo, and a Nintendo DS, and, and... please make Beth feel better."

Santa is confused. "Beth?" he asks.

Jimmy points over to Beth, who is crying again. But this time, they are tears of joy.

"...forgiveness..." Scott is on the top bunk of the bed. Ed glares up at him.

"... but sometimes, Christmas is not a happy time." The house of Morticia is shown, still a wreck. Inside, Jane is still lying there. "Because sometimes, the most unfortunate things happen at Christmas... and we don't know it until it's too late."

An officer walks up to the cell of Scott and Ed. "Which one of you is Scott?"

"I am," Scott replies, raising his head.

"Well, one of our officers was patrolling the neighbourhood... and we found an... unfortunate piece of news."

Scott pays attention. We see the police officer talk to Scott, but we don't hear anything. A look of utter distress comes over Scott's face as he starts sobbing.

"In any case," the narrator continues, "Christmas is about being there for one another. We see an aerial view of Coral Drive at night, with Christmas lights on many of the houses.

Fade to black. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" plays over the credits.

Look what's back, back again.

Episode 26: Great Changes

The funeral of Jane Wilson is beginning right now. Everyone from Coral Drive (barring Morticia) is there. "Funerals," the narrator says. "Whether you like it or not, they bring people together."

"Husbands and wives..." Ed is sitting between two police officers, with Beth sitting not too far from him.

"Parents and children..." Allison is sitting with Jimmy right next to her.

Scott is sitting in the front row, also between two police officers. "But even though we come together... sometimes, we just feel alone."

---

Everybody is in the hall where refreshments are being served.

Erica sips from her glass of wine. "I can't believe she's gone," she finally says.

"None of us can, Eri," Robert replies.

"All I know is that this must be just terrible for Scott," Beth says. She still hasn't told anyone why Scott was arrested, and neither has Ed.

"What happened to Scott, anyway?" Robert inquires. "None of us know why he was arrested."

Beth is slightly taken aback by Robert's question. "I... I'm not sure."

Robert shrugs, and Beth sighs silently.

---

Scott is lying on his bed, hands over his eyes. Ed, meanwhile, doesn't know what to feel towards him. Should he still bew angry about him raping his wife? Or should he feel more sympathy now that Scott's wife is dead?

Since Scott got the news, he and Ed haven't spoken. None of the other criminals speak to them, either, because they're all disgusted at both of them.

Ed finally decides to break the ice with some sympathy. "Listen, Scott..."

"Oh, what do you want, Ed?!" Scott snaps. "Want to tell me how the last things I did to my wife emotionally crushed her? How the last thoughts going through her head were probably 'Why did Scott do that to me?' Well, don't bother! Because I'm already well aware."

Ed gulps. This is going to be harder than he thought. "Listen..." he says insincerely. "Don't... beat yourself up over this. I'm sure your wife has forgiven you." Even as the words were coming out of Ed's mouth, he realized how stupid they were. But, anything to mend the bridge between them.

"You think so?" Scott raises an eyebrow.

"I... know so," Ed lies.

Scott smiles. "You know Ed, you were always there for me. Even when we were kids."

Ed fakes a smile back. "Now go to sleep."

"Good night, Ed," Scott calls.

"Good night, Scott," Ed says, his smile fading as he rests his head on the pillow.

---

Beth is sitting at her breakfast table, eating cereal and wondering to herself, "How long can I keep this secret?" She didn't want to tell anyone about what happened, but it just kept getting harder and harder.

She didn't know who to confide in. Her best friend on the street was obviously Allison, but Beth viewed her as "too pure" to take such a thing. And the other ladies on the street? She was good friends with many of them, mind you, but she didn't have another friend that she felt she could confide in.

She decided that this secret is better left untold.

Then, she suddenly feels the urge to vomit. She rushes to the bathroom, and vomits in the toilet. She then jerks her head up, assuming the worst. "It can't be," she says.

She buys a pregnancy test from the supermarket as discreetly as possible. When she gets home, she tests it. Yes, it was just as she feared. "I'm... pregnant," she says, fighting back tears.

---

Robert and Erica are eating lunch, and something has been on Robert's mind ever since the funeral. Beth.

"I still don't understand," he blurts out. "Why did Beth respond to my question that I asked to no one in particular, and why did she seem so taken aback by it?"

Erica smirks. "Aren't I usually the one to overreact to these types of things?"

"Well, yeah, but this is different!" Robert insists.

Erica puts down her sandwich in frustration. "Different how, Robert?! Because it's you and not me?!"

Robert is taken aback by Erica's harsh response. "But... no... I didn't mean..."

"Yes you did, Robert! Just admit it!" Erica cries. "You think you're better than me!"

"Erica, I'm sorry. It just came out wrong," Robert says, trying to reason with her.

"Just stop it," Erica insists. "I'm sick of you making excuses for your stubbornness."

Robert is feeling really bad for doing this to Erica. "Is there any way I can make things up to you?"

"Drop the obsession with Beth," Erica tells him. "If I can't be eccentric, then neither can you."

"Fine," Robert relents. He takes a sip of his coffee, staring blankly at nothing in particular.

---

The police are standing in front of Preston's cell. They have grown very concerned about him. He hasn't eaten, got up, or done ANYTHING since they caught him.

They are beginning to bgrow suspicious. "He has something planned," one of them says. "I just know it."

One of the more optimistic police officers pipes up. "How do you know? Maybe he's finally learned his lesson. Maybe he won't cause us any more trouble."

The others glare at him, shutting him up.

"He's got a plan," the first officer repeats. "And I'm going to find out what it is."

He bursts into the cell, despite the other police officers trying to restrain him. "All right, Phillips, what's the deal?!"

Preston turns his head in surprise. "I don't know what you're talking about," he replies.

"Don't play dumb with me," the police officer growls. "We all know you have something planned. You're one of the most notorious criminals in the country!"

Preston stares blankly at him. He sits up. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I've just given up?" he states.

"No, not once," the officer insists.

"Well, I'm done," Preston asserts. "I'm tired of this whole thing. You've caught me! Congratulations! Now leave me alone." He turns on his side to get some rest.

The police officer loses his patience. "All right, you listen to me, mister!..." He grabs Preston by his shirt collar.

Preston stares blankly and mockingly into his eyes. "You know, you're cute when you get angry," he says.

"I know you've got something planned!" He backs Preston up into a wall. "And you're going to tell me what it is, one way or another."

"Sir, I seriously have nothing planned," says Preston.

The officer suddenly relents. "Yeah, okay. I believe you."

Now it's Preston's turn to become suspicious. "Why does it sound like you don't?"

"No, you're right, I don't," the officer replies. "But let me tell you this... we outnumber you. When you do have something planned... we'll all be ready." He indicates the officers waiting outside.

Preston throws up his hands. "I have nothing planned, but if you don't believe me, then go ahead and 'be ready'. You'll be wasting your time." He goes back to lie on his bed.

The officer stares at him for a couple seconds, then leaves the room and shuts the door.

"He's not cracking," the officer says to his fellow police officers. "We're going to have to keep an eye on him."

The officer who suggested that suggested that Preston wouldn't cause any more trouble begins to pout, and the officer that confronted Preston sees this. "All right, Baxter..." he says. "You've got first shift."

"What do you mean, 'first shift'?" Baxter protests.

"We're taking shifts watching this guy. You're first. You think you can handle that?" the police officer says, glaring.

Baxter, intimidated by his glare, relents. "Y-yes, sir."

"Good. All right men, let's move out." The police officer walks away, with the others following, save for Baxter, who enters Preston's cell.

"Hey," he says to him. "I'm probably the only guy who believes in you. But they've got us taking shifts, and I'm your first watcher. So I have to stay here with you, okay?"

"Why?" Preston asks.

"Because the others have this crazy idea that you're going to..."

"No, I mean, why are you going through with this if you believe in me?" Preston asks.

Baxter gulps. "Well... to tell you the truth, I don't exactly have high authority around here."

"And why is that?" Preston asks.

"Well..." Baxter says. "It's because I don't believe that criminals are bad people, yet everyone else seems to."

"Ah," Preston nods. "So the unfair judgement rules out giving everyone a fair chance."

Baxter nods. "I'm afraid so."

"But aren't you as bad as the others if you follow through with their plan?" Preston inquires.

Baxter mulls over this for a few seconds. He finally says, "Yeah... I guess I am. You're not going to do us any harm, are you?"

"Of course not. I've learned my lesson." Preston smiles.

Baxter smiles back. "I knew it!" he exclaims.

He leaves the cell, leaving Preston to rest.

---

Beth wakes up, and feels nauseous once again. But it's not only because she's pregnant.

"What if this baby is Scott's?" she asks herself.

Meanwhile, Robert is walking by Beth's house. He promised Erica to let it go, but he just can't help his curiosity. He decides to see if everything is all right.

He goes up and knocks on the door.

Beth gets up to answer the door. She opens it, and sees Robert. "Oh, hello Robert," she says politely. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually, I was wondering if there was anything I could do for you," Robert insists. "Is everything all right?"

"Of... course!" Beth exclaims, lying through her teeth. "Yes, everything's fine."

"Okay, just checking..." Robert says.

"Yes, well... thanks for... checking up on me. Bye." Beth shuts the door.

Robert still isn't convinced that everything is all right with Beth. But he doesn't know where else to go to find out information.

Meanwhile, Beth is hiding behind her door. "He's on to me," Beth gasps. She then decides that she needs someone to lean on during this time.

Robert is about to head home when Beth opens the door. "Robert, wait!" she yells.

Robert turns his head and walks back up to Beth's porch. "Come in," Beth invites.

---

"...I can't believe that happened to you," Robert gasps.

Beth bites her lip. "Well, it's not something that I want to brag about." She laughs weakly.

"So you have no idea if the baby is Ed's or Scott's?" Robert asks with concern.

Beth shakes her head, as tears fall out of her eyes.

Robert hugs her. "Don't worry, Beth," he says. "Everything will be all right."

"No it won't!" Beth cries. "Everything's all wrong! I've been raped, my husband's in jail, and now I'm pregnant, and I'm not even sure who's the father!" She cries on Robert's shoulder.

Robert pats her back. "Shhhh..." he soothes her. "You're going to get through this. And I'm going to help."

"I'm just so glad I told someone," Beth sputters.

"You did the right thing," Robert assures her.

"You swear to secrecy, right?" Beth asks.

"Of course."

---

Morticia is lying in her hospital bed, not looking forward to another day of it. All she can really do wehen no one else is around is stare at the ceiling. And because she hasn't been getting visitors lately, that's all that she's been doing.

A doctor comes in to her room. "Morticia, the patients are getting together to play Bingo," he says. "Would you like to join them?"

"Ooh! Bingo!" Morticia says sarcastically. "Now if I end up in a retirement home after this, I can adapt just fine!"

"Listen Morticia," the doctor says. "We all know you're anxious to get back home and see your friends. But that can't happen for a while. Not until you're fully healed."

Morticia then thinks for a bit about her "friends" on Coral Drive. How Erica slammed the door in her face. How nobody ever came to visit her since. Perhaps she could start a new life here. "All right," she agrees. "Let's play some Bingo."

The doctor helps her into a wheelchair and wheels her to the Bingo room.

---

Baxter opens Preston's cell door. Preston looks up in disgust. "Really, I thought you would last longer than this."

"Don't worry, I'm not here to supervise," Baxter says grimly. "I'm here to say goodbye."

Preston raises an eyebrow. "Goodbye?"

"Yes," Baxter replies, a lump forming in his throat. "I've been fired. Goodbye." He runs out, crying along the way.

Preston sits up in rage. "All right, this has been taken too far!" He marches toward the door.

The police officer who confronted Preston earlier stops him. "Whoa, whoa!" he says. "Where do you think you're going?"

"How could you do that to a decent man?" Preston asks bitterly.

"What, Brian?" the police officer laughs. "He disobeyed me," he says seriously.

"He disobeyed you because he trusts me. Which is more than I can say for any of the rest of you," Preston growls.

"Aww, you've lost your best friend, haven't you?" the police officer says, condescending him. "Your naive friend? Well, don't think you're going to have it easy around here anymore."

"I haven't had it easy my entire life," Preston replies. "Why should jail be any different?"

"Oh, are you expecting me to feel sympathy for you now?" the police officer scoffs. "Nothing doing, pal. I'm surprised you got one guy here to feel sympathy for you."

Preston looks downcast. The police officer smirks. "Awww, is da widdle baby scared?"

Preston looks up. "I'm not going to fight you, if that's what you're trying to provoke me into doing."

"Oh, here we go," the police officer says sarcastically. "Okay, you take the high road, man. Good for you."

Preston is stewing with anger, but tries not to show it.

---

Robert comes home from Beth's house, and is greeted by Erica right at the doorway. "Where have you been?" she asks.

"Oh, you know, out for my morning walk..." Robert replies.

"Uh-huh? I didn't think your walks usually took that long," Erica remarks.

"You're right, they don't. But it was such a beautiful day today that I couldn't help but savour it a little," Robert explains.

"Ah," Erica says. "Well, I'm off to do some errands. You coming inside, or are you off to 'savour' some more?"

"No, no, I'm coming inside," Robert insists.

Erica steps aside to let Robert in, and then goes to her car, suspicious. "Funerals," the narrator says. "They can bring people together..."

We see Ed and Scott lying on bunk beds. Ed says "good night" to Scott. "Old friends..." Ed lies on his bed, his face looking grim.

"New colleagues..." Beth waves to Robert as he and Erica walk by. Robert waves back, while Erica looks on uncomfortably.

"...But sometimes, instead of bringing people together..." A doctor comes to deliver news to Morticia. "We regret to tell you that Jane Wilson was found dead in your home."

"Preston!" Morticia snaps.

"Who?" the doctor asks.

"Preston Phillips! He killed one of my..." Morticia chooses her words carefully. "...he killed someone I know."

She didn't know if she could call the people on Coral Drive her friends anymore. The narrator finishes off with, "...they can tear people apart."

Away From the Sun by 3 Doors Down plays through the credits: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDK5qGlLT8s&feature=player_embedded