Hitting Rock Bottom

Coming Soon

S1E1 (1)- The One With Taylor’s Cold Feet: It’s Rock Bottom. It’s populated. SpongeBob simply stumbled upon the wrong part of the town. It’s really a big city! Perhaps bigger than New Kelp City. In fact, it’s probably much bigger. Bikini Bottomites have been mislead for years. There was an ancient rivalry between Rock Bottomites and Bikini Bottomites. It began in the 1400s after a war, and since then Bikini Bottomites weren’t allowed to know there was life in Rock Bottom at all, because it would cause conflict. So what was Rock Bottom like?

Five friends were sitting in a coffee house, Java the Hut (Star Wars reference…kinda). Java the Hut was their regular hangout. The friends’ names were Marshall, Ryan, Derek, Julie, and Caitlin. Marshall and Derek were old college roommates who had stayed friends. Derek and Ryan were roommates. Marshall and Caitlin were brother and sister, Marshall one year older. Caitlin and Julie were friends who had been living together, but Julie had recently moved out. Julie was kind of an oddball. She often performed at the coffee house with her original songs on her guitar. Caitlin was a professional chef. Marshall was a professor at Rock Bottom University, recently divorced. Ryan was an aspiring actor, currently failing, and usually in small theater productions. Derek had an office job that he was not fond of at all.

Marshall was upset about his recent divorce. It had just been finalized. “I’m divorced…” he said. “I’m twenty-four years old and I’m divorced. Wow.”

“It’s not like you could have stayed with her…” Derek said. “She was a lesbian.”

“Hot!” Ryan said.

“What Derek said,” Caitlin said. “You can’t stay with a lesbian. And you should just annoy Mr. Horndog completely, since he’s such a womanizing freak I’m afraid to go into his apartment sometimes because I’m afraid I’ll walk in on him and four naked women having some strange orgy.”

“That’s offensive on a million levels,” Ryan said. “I’ve been living with Derek for a year. Aren’t you used to me yet?”

“Of course I am, Ryan,” Caitlin said. “I’m allowed to make fun of people.”

“Yeah,” Julie said. “We’re all friends here.”

“Getting back to me…” Marshall interjected.

“Someone’s selfish,” Derek said.

“Oh…” Marshall said, “…you. But really, I don’t know how to not be married, you know? I wish I were married again.”

Suddenly, a woman in a wet wedding dress (it was raining outside) walked into the coffee house. She was beautiful, and she was crying. Everyone was staring at her.

“And I wish I had a million dollars!” Derek kidded.

Ignoring Derek’s comment, Caitlin went to the woman in the wedding dress. “Taylor?” she said. “Is that you?”

“Caitlin!” Taylor said. “Yes, it’s me!”

“Taylor!” Caitlin said. “Guys, this is Taylor Townsend, another survivor of Neptune High School. So Taylor, what are you doing here?”

“I just came here from my wedding--”

“--Figured that, yeah,” Derek said.

Caitlin shushed him. “Go on.”

“I was marrying Giovanni,” Taylor said. “And right before I had to go out there to walk down the aisle, I started freaking out, thinking I had to spend the rest of my life with him. Then I realized he had a big head. Then I realized he looked EXACTLY like Mr. Potato Head! And I started to cry, and then I just didn’t feel like I could possibly get married. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life with him. So I climbed out the window, and I remembered that you were living here. And your apartment is right above here, so I figured you might be here. And of course I was right!”

“Yes,” Caitlin said, “you were right.” There was a silence. “So why wasn’t I invited to your wedding, Taylor? We were best friends in high school. Practically inseparable.”

Taylor frowned. “Crap. I knew this would come up. Listen, I didn’t think we were really talking anymore, so I didn’t know if you would even want to come.”

“I would have came,” Caitlin said. “You were an important part of my life, Taylor.”

“Aw,” Taylor said. “So could you show me where you’re living? All my bags are in the cab and I’d like to take them to my room.”

“So I guess we’ve established she’s living with me…” Caitlin said.

~~~

That night, the guys were in Ryan and Derek’s apartment, drinking some beers.

“So, that Taylor girl was cute…” Derek said.

“Yeah…” Marshall said.

“That was a weird yeah,” Ryan said.

“Slow guy is right,” Derek said. “She was your sister’s best friend, so you knew her. What happened with the two of you in high school?”

“Absolutely nothing happened,” Marshall said, defending himself, feeling scorned. “Absolutely nothing at all happened, just drop it right now.”

“You’re being too defensive for us to believe that,” Derek said.

“Yeah!” Ryan said. “What are the happenings of you and Taylor Townsend?”

“The happenings?” Derek asked. “Don’t try to sound smart. It couldn’t suit you less. It makes you sound even more dumb.”

“Thanks,” Ryan said.

“No problem,” Derek replied.

“Okay… so I had a crush on Taylor in high school,” Marshall said.

Derek and Ryan said, “Aaawww…” sarcastically in unison.

“Shut up,” Marshall said. “That’s all it was. Just a crush.”

“And did you ever tell Taylor about this ‘just a crush?’” Derek asked.

“No,” Marshall said. “Why does that matter?”

“It matters because you’re a big baby!” Ryan said.

“Aw, thank you,” Marshall said.

“Why do we keep thanking each other?” Ryan asked.

“I wish I knew…” Derek said.

“Yeah,” Marshall said.

“Let’s watch TV and forget about Marshall having yet to grow a pair,” Derek said.

“Hear, hear!” Ryan said, and raised his bottle of beer.

~~~

The next day, everyone but Taylor was in Java the Hut. Julie was performing one of her original songs.

“Ooh…
Ooh…
Laa…
I lost the lyrics to this song…
Do re mi…
I‘m a vegetarian
Yay!”

Everyone clapped awkwardly while Julie smiled and got off the stage to enjoy some coffee with her friends. About fifteen minutes later Taylor walked in with a bag that said “Abercrombie and Fish” on it.

“What’s that, Taylor?” Caitlin asked mockingly.

“Daddy cut me off,” Taylor said.

“Well that explains it…” Derek said in his signature sarcastic tone.

“These are my new shoes that signify that I don’t need him or his money,” Taylor said.

“So what did you use to pay for the shoes, Richie Rich?” Derek asked.

“First of all, Richie Rich was a boy,” Taylor said, “and second, my credit card.”

“And who pays for that credit card?” Julie asked.

“…Daddy,” Taylor said.

All five of them gave her looks.

“Don’t judge me!” Taylor said.

“We’re gonna judge you!” Caitlin said. “Come on, we’re going to the apartment.”

The six of them went upstairs to Caitlin and Taylor’s apartment.

“Card,” Caitlin said.

“Why?” Taylor asked.

“You’re going to be introduced to the real world,” Caitlin said. “You need to get a job like the rest of us and stop relying on your father and all of his money.”

“I’m not ready to be on my own!” Taylor said.

“You’re twenty-three,” Julie said. “Isn’t it kinda time? I was on my own when I was thirteen after my mother killed herself. And my dad walked out on us, my step-dad was in jail, so I lived on the street. That’s why I’m so wise and tough.”

“Oh, you poor girl!” Taylor said.

“Meh, I’m fine,” Julie said.

“Alright, Taylor. It’s time,” Caitlin said. “Hand it over.”

“You mean them…” Taylor said, and handed Caitlin several credit cards.

Caitlin cut each of them with scissors, and Taylor winced as each was destroyed. The other five smiled at her pain.

“Wow. The real world’s gonna suck, isn’t it?” Taylor asked.

“Yep…” Marshall said, staring at her, no one noticing. “I’m gonna love - I mean, you’re gonna love it.”

---

I want reviews. Thank youz.

Wow. Over 100 views already!

I have a feeling this show's a hit.

Nice man!

Do not want.

Now it's surpassed 200 views. AMAZING!!

NOW IT'S SURPASSED 201 VIEWS! HOT DAMN!

Dragiiin123 wrote:Do not want.

?

This is a good spin-off so far.

Yeah, it is.

But I've been surprised on how popular the show got. It's gotten mixed reviews.

TV repairman wrote:Yeah, it is.

But I've been surprised on how popular the show got. It's gotten mixed reviews.

Actually, it hasn't gotten any. *hint*

Not reviews, reviews. But people have said what they want about it.

Seek the Review Forum *hint*

Time for a new episode of the hit show.

S1E2 (2)- The One With the Eraser on the Ground: “I don’t know,” Caitlin said, “I always thought that kissing was the best part of the night… kind of like a drum roll or something.”

“Yeah, I totally know what you mean,” Taylor said.

“Oh, I agree!” Julie said.

“No, no, no!” Ryan said. “The best part of the evening is… well, you know!”

“Well of course YOU say that!” Taylor said.

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.

“You know what she means,” Caitlin said.

“Well… the way I see it is this…” Derek said. “Kissing is like the opening act at a concert. I like it, but I’m waiting for The Fray.”

“How long has it been since you’ve gotten The Fray?” Caitlin asked.

“How long has it been since you‘ve gotten the opening act?” Derek asked, and took a victory sip from his coffee.

(“With a Little Help From My Friends (theme song) plays -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBDF04fQKtQ )

Marshall was teaching his class at Rock Bottom University, when his ex-wife Henrietta walked into the classroom. She simply stood there until the class ended. When all of the students were out of the classroom, Marshall simply stared at her.

“Um… it’s been a while,” he said.

“Yeah…” Henrietta said. “I have something to tell you, Marshall.”

“Alright,” Marshall said. “But if it’s okay with you, I just need to erase the board. You can talk while I am. I swear, I’ll listen.”

“I believe you…” Henrietta said. “You always were good at multitasking.”

Marshall started to erase the board.

“I’m pregnant,” she said.

Then he dropped the eraser.

“What… what… what… WHAT?” he said.

“One ‘what’ would have sufficed…” Henrietta said.

“How are you pregnant?” Marshall asked.

“Well Marshall, when people are married they usually have sex,” Henrietta said.

“Well yeah…” Marshall said, starting to realize that he had asked a rather stupid question.

“And when people have sex, babies tend to be made,” Henrietta said.

“I understand that part,” Marshall said. “But why did this have to happen to us? Isn’t our life dysfunctional enough without a pregnancy?”

“It wouldn’t be a that70sguy92 spin-off without a pregnancy,” Henrietta said.

“What?” Marshall asked.

“I didn’t say anything…” Henrietta said. “But yes, I know that this is hard to cope with, but it is what it is, and since you’re the father, I figured I had to tell you. I owe you that much after all that I’ve put you through in the past few months.”

“It’s okay, Henrietta,” Marshall said.

“And I am sorry with the way I ended things…” Henrietta said. “I really am. You deserve much, much better than that.”

“Who said it’s over?” Marshall said, with a longing gaze to Henrietta. He did have a crush on Taylor, but his attraction to his ex-wife was undeniable. They had so much history together, and the two of them together simply seemed right.

“Marshall, our relationship - as wonderful as it was - is over,” Henrietta said. “I’m gay. I have a girlfriend, and we’re living together.”

“But you’re having my baby,” Marshall said. “I’m pretty sure it isn’t Linda’s baby!”

“Yes, but I love Linda,” Henrietta said. “And I don’t want to put either of us through a loveless relationship. Neither of us deserve that. And you don’t want that. You don’t want me, Marshall.”

“How could I not want you?” Marshall asked.

“It simply wouldn’t be right,” Henrietta said.

“That’s why I love you…” Marshall said. “You’re so intelligent, and sweet, and caring.”

Henrietta sighed. “I really do love you too, Marshall. Just not in that way anymore.”

“I love you in that way though,” Marshall said.

“I’m not going to repeat the same thing over and over,” Henrietta said, starting to lose her patience. “What’s done is done, and it’s really as simple as that. I just figured I’ll let you know, and I’ll keep you posted on anything that happens.”

Marshall slowly inhaled, then exhaled. “…Okay,” he said.

Then Henrietta left the classroom. But not before Marshall said, “I love you, Henrietta.”

“Goodbye, Marshall…” she said wistfully.

~~~

Later that day, the six friends were in Java the Hut.

“Man, I really need a job,” Taylor said.

“You’ve been saying that for a really long time,” Julie said. “Why not go and ask Frederick for a job? He’s the manager here.”

“That’s actually a good idea, Ju,” Taylor said. She went up to Frederick. “Hello. I’m interested in a job here.” She smiled.

Frederick was blown away by her intense beauty. He was in love with this woman. “Sure,” he said. “You start tomorrow.”

“I… don’t need an interview?” Taylor asked.

“No, no…” Frederick said. “I have a good Waitress Radar, and I have a feeling you’ll be an excellent addition to our staff of highly-trained professionals.”

One of the waitresses spilled coffee on a customer’s lap.

“Thanks!” Taylor said, then walked away and sat back on the couch with Julie and Marshall.

“I got the job!” she said.

“Already?” Caitlin asked.

“Yep,” Taylor said. “Of course, it’ll just be a temporary thing. I really want a job in fashion or something interesting like that, not… waitress-ing.”

“Nice word,” Derek said.

“Thank you,” Taylor replied.

“Kids, kids,” Marshall said. “I know that Taylor’s new word is very important to you, but I have huge news. In fact, bigger than huge, it’s… huge-ungous!”

“Why do we care about your new word?” Taylor asked.

“Shush,” Marshall said.

“What is it, Marshall?” Caitlin asked.

“Henrietta is pregnant!” he exclaimed.

“Is it yours, or is it Linda’s?” Ryan asked.

“Does it hurt to be that stupid?” Derek asked.

You guys probably already know this, but I feel like I should add it.

Reviews appreciated.

Over 400 views!

Thank you, readers.

You guests must be enjoying it, too or something. This is insane.







More coming when we get higher!!

I'll attempt to post The One With the Imported Kelp tonight.

FESTIVAL EPISODE

S1E3 (3)- The One With the Imported Kelp: Taylor went to give her friends their coffees.

“Caitlin, your mocha…” she said, and gave Caitlin her mocha.

“Obrigado,” Caitlin said.

“Julie, a cappuccino for you…” Taylor said, and handed it to her.

“Gracias!” Julie said.

“And a boring old black coffee for Marshall…” Taylor teased, and gave Marshall his coffee.

“Merci,” Marshall said.

“Here’s your iced coffee, Ryan.”

“Grazie,” said Ryan.

“And a latté for Derek,” Taylor said, and handed it to him with a smile.

“I… don’t know another language’s word for thank you, so… thank you,” he said.

Taylor smiled. “So how did I do?”

“Great!” her five friends said encouragingly.

“Awesome!” she said, and walked away.

While she had her back turned, the gang switched so they had the correct coffees.

(“With a Little Help From My Friends (theme) plays -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBDF04fQKtQ )

Ryan walked into Caitlin and Taylor’s apartment. “Hey guys! Guess what!”

“What?” Julie asked.

“My grandma sent me a bunch of kelp!” he said.

“Yay?” Caitlin said sarcastically.

“It’s not normal kelp,” Ryan said, and rolled his eyes as if that were some big statement. “It’s IMPORTED kelp!”

“Oh,” Julie said. “Where’s it imported from?”

“Frock Bottom,” Ryan said excitedly. (Frock is a real word. Seriously. Look it up.)

“That’s like 30 miles away from Rock Bottom,” Derek said.

“If that…” Marshall interjected.

“Not exactly imported,” Derek said.

“If it’s not from Rock Bottom, it’s imported!” Ryan insisted.

“Fine…” Derek said. “Can’t argue with that.”

“So will anyone try it?” Ryan asked.

“Well I’m a vegetarian,” Julie said, “so I love kelp.”

“Awesome!” Ryan said, and handed her some of the kelp.

“OH MY GOD!” she said.

“What?” Derek said.

“Does it taste horrible?” Caitlin asked.

“It’s like an orgasm in my mouth!” Julie explained.

“So… does that mean good?” Derek asked.

“Of course!” Julie said. “More please!” She took some more from Ryan.

“Now I want some…” Caitlin said.

“Get your own, damn it!” Julie said. “Back off!”

“Wow…” Caitlin said. “That just make me want some of the kelp even more! Can I please have some? Please!”

“Of course you can,” Ryan said, and gave her some.

Caitlin tasted it, and smiled. “This is the best thing I’ve EVER tasted. And I’m a professional chef!”

“Wow!” Marshall said. “Give me some!”

“Don’t forget about me!” Derek said, and the two of them feasted on the kelp. “I have nothing witty to say about this. It’s just… delicious!”

“He has nothing witty to say?” Ryan said. “I haven’t even tried it yet, but if it’s that good, I definitely want some, too!”

Ryan took some of the kelp. The five of them feasted on kelp.

~~~

While her five friends were stuffing their faces with imported kelp, Taylor was having a not-so-fun time at Java the Hut… waitress-ing. She wasn’t doing a great job, and she was totally stressed. She simply wasn’t used to working.

“Here’s your coffee, sir,” she said as she was walking toward a patron. But then, she suddenly tripped on the leg of the couch that led to his table, and spilled hot coffee on his lap.

“What the hell was that for?” the man asked angrily.

“I’m so sorry!” Taylor said. “I’m a new employee!”

“OBVIOUSLY!” the man yelled.

“Hey!” Taylor said. “I’ll apologize for spilling coffee on your oh-so-precious little lap, but you lose that damn temper right now or I’ll get a steaming fresh brew of coffee and spill it all over you. All over! So you can just back your arrogant ass off right now before I make you extremely sorry for ever coming to Java the Hut in the first place.”

“Wow…” the man said. “I think Java the Hut just permanently lost a loyal customer.” He immediately got up with his coffee-stained pants and left.

“How loyal are you if you leave?!” Taylor asked angrily. “Good riddance!”

~~~

The five friends had been enjoying the kelp for a while. Julie reached her hand in the bag, then gaped. She screamed, “Noooooo!”

“What?” Caitlin asked. “For the love of God, what is it?!”

“There’s… no more kelp,” Julie said.

“Oh…” Marshall said, and began to hyperventilate.

“You - You must be kidding,” Derek said. “I was planning on having sex with that kelp and marrying it. Why must it be gone?”

“Scarcity…” Marshall said. “It’s such a bitch.”

“Damn you, scarcity!” Julie said. “Damn you to Hell!”

“I… think I have some regular kelp in the fridge,” Caitlin said. “Come on, let’s look. I’m sure it will be just as delicious.”

“Sure!” Marshall said, sounding chipper, and the five of them went over to the fridge.

“See, there it is!” Caitlin said, and grabbed the kelp. She handed Julie, Marshall, Ryan, and Derek some. All five of them took a bite at the same time.

“It tastes like feet,” Ryan said.

“I can’t eat that…” Marshall said.

“That’s just bad,” Derek said. “And I have nothing witty to say about THAT.”

“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever tasted…” Caitlin said. “And I’m a professional chef. I’ve tasted a lot of crappy food before. That’s by far the crappiest!”

“Damn you, horrible kelp!” Julie yelled. “Damn you to Hell!”

~~~

Frederick called Taylor over to the counter.

“Yes, Frederick?” she asked.

“I don’t think you understand what customer you forced away,” Frederick said, sounding just a bit worried. This concerned Taylor.

“Who was it?” she asked.

“That was Alejandro Fishdale,” Frederick said. “He’s a wealthy customer who’s here about five times a day to order his very expensive cup of coffee, and is constantly recommending Java the Hut to his friends. Now what do you think he’ll say? That the waitress there is a bitch - not that you’re a bitch at all - so they shouldn’t go there? No. That can’t happen.”

“So what do I need to do?” Taylor asked.

“Here’s Alejandro’s address,” Frederick said. “You’re gonna need to go there and apologize to him. Maybe even become his friend. Do whatever you can to bring the good name back to Java the Hut.”

“But I hate that guy…” Taylor said.

“Just do it for your job,” Frederick said.

“What?” Taylor asked. “You mean if I don’t do it you’ll fire me?”

“HELL no!” Frederick said. “Er-- I mean, we’ll have to see. It could go either way. You’re just going to need to do what I ask of you.”

“Well, okay,” Taylor said. “Is it okay if I wait a few weeks? I’d kinda like to get settled into this new job before taking bullets for it, y’know? If it’s a good job I’ll do anything for it, if it’s not I’ll chuck it out the window and find one that’s much better than it.”

“Take all the time you need,” Frederick said.

“Aw, thanks!” Taylor said.

“Any time…” Frederick said.

The five other friends then walked in.

“Hey Frederick!” Ryan said.

“Yes?” Frederick asked.

“Do you guys serve that special kelp from Frock Bottom?” Ryan asked.

“No, I’m sorry,” Frederick said.

“Damn you, Frederick!” Julie said. “Damn you to Hell!”

---

Reviews appreciated.

In my opinion, that's the best episode so far.

that70sguy92 wrote:FESTIVAL EPISODE

S1E3 (3)- The One With the Imported Kelp: Taylor went to give her friends their coffees.

“Caitlin, your mocha…” she said, and gave Caitlin her mocha.

“Obrigado,” Caitlin said.

“Julie, a cappuccino for you…” Taylor said, and handed it to her.

“Gracias!” Julie said.

“And a boring old black coffee for Marshall…” Taylor teased, and gave Marshall his coffee.

“Merci,” Marshall said.

“Here’s your iced coffee, Ryan.”

“Grazie,” said Ryan.

“And a latté for Derek,” Taylor said, and handed it to him with a smile.

“I… don’t know another language’s word for thank you, so… thank you,” he said.

Taylor smiled. “So how did I do?”

“Great!” her five friends said encouragingly.

“Awesome!” she said, and walked away.

While she had her back turned, the gang switched so they had the correct coffees.

(“With a Little Help From My Friends (theme) plays -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBDF04fQKtQ )

Ryan walked into Caitlin and Taylor’s apartment. “Hey guys! Guess what!”

“What?” Julie asked.

“My grandma sent me a bunch of kelp!” he said.

“Yay?” Caitlin said sarcastically.

“It’s not normal kelp,” Ryan said, and rolled his eyes as if that were some big statement. “It’s IMPORTED kelp!”

“Oh,” Julie said. “Where’s it imported from?”

“Frock Bottom,” Ryan said excitedly. (Frock is a real word. Seriously. Look it up.)

“That’s like 30 miles away from Rock Bottom,” Derek said.

“If that…” Marshall interjected.

“Not exactly imported,” Derek said.

“If it’s not from Rock Bottom, it’s imported!” Ryan insisted.

“Fine…” Derek said. “Can’t argue with that.”

“So will anyone try it?” Ryan asked.

“Well I’m a vegetarian,” Julie said, “so I love kelp.”

“Awesome!” Ryan said, and handed her some of the kelp.

“OH MY GOD!” she said.

“What?” Derek said.

“Does it taste horrible?” Caitlin asked.

“It’s like an orgasm in my mouth!” Julie explained.

“So… does that mean good?” Derek asked.

“Of course!” Julie said. “More please!” She took some more from Ryan.

“Now I want some…” Caitlin said.

“Get your own, damn it!” Julie said. “Back off!”

“Wow…” Caitlin said. “That just make me want some of the kelp even more! Can I please have some? Please!”

“Of course you can,” Ryan said, and gave her some.

Caitlin tasted it, and smiled. “This is the best thing I’ve EVER tasted. And I’m a professional chef!”

“Wow!” Marshall said. “Give me some!”

“Don’t forget about me!” Derek said, and the two of them feasted on the kelp. “I have nothing witty to say about this. It’s just… delicious!”

“He has nothing witty to say?” Ryan said. “I haven’t even tried it yet, but if it’s that good, I definitely want some, too!”

Ryan took some of the kelp. The five of them feasted on kelp.

~~~

While her five friends were stuffing their faces with imported kelp, Taylor was having a not-so-fun time at Java the Hut… waitress-ing. She wasn’t doing a great job, and she was totally stressed. She simply wasn’t used to working.

“Here’s your coffee, sir,” she said as she was walking toward a patron. But then, she suddenly tripped on the leg of the couch that led to his table, and spilled hot coffee on his lap.

“What the hell was that for?” the man asked angrily.

“I’m so sorry!” Taylor said. “I’m a new employee!”

“OBVIOUSLY!” the man yelled.

“Hey!” Taylor said. “I’ll apologize for spilling coffee on your oh-so-precious little lap, but you lose that damn temper right now or I’ll get a steaming fresh brew of coffee and spill it all over you. All over! So you can just back your arrogant ass off right now before I make you extremely sorry for ever coming to Java the Hut in the first place.”

“Wow…” the man said. “I think Java the Hut just permanently lost a loyal customer.” He immediately got up with his coffee-stained pants and left.

“How loyal are you if you leave?!” Taylor asked angrily. “Good riddance!”

~~~

The five friends had been enjoying the kelp for a while. Julie reached her hand in the bag, then gaped. She screamed, “Noooooo!”

“What?” Caitlin asked. “For the love of God, what is it?!”

“There’s… no more kelp,” Julie said.

“Oh…” Marshall said, and began to hyperventilate.

“You - You must be kidding,” Derek said. “I was planning on having sex with that kelp and marrying it. Why must it be gone?”

“Scarcity…” Marshall said. “It’s such a bitch.”

“Damn you, scarcity!” Julie said. “Damn you to Hell!”

“I… think I have some regular kelp in the fridge,” Caitlin said. “Come on, let’s look. I’m sure it will be just as delicious.”

“Sure!” Marshall said, sounding chipper, and the five of them went over to the fridge.

“See, there it is!” Caitlin said, and grabbed the kelp. She handed Julie, Marshall, Ryan, and Derek some. All five of them took a bite at the same time.

“It tastes like feet,” Ryan said.

“I can’t eat that…” Marshall said.

“That’s just bad,” Derek said. “And I have nothing witty to say about THAT.”

“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever tasted…” Caitlin said. “And I’m a professional chef. I’ve tasted a lot of crappy food before. That’s by far the crappiest!”

“Damn you, horrible kelp!” Julie yelled. “Damn you to Hell!”

~~~

Frederick called Taylor over to the counter.

“Yes, Frederick?” she asked.

“I don’t think you understand what customer you forced away,” Frederick said, sounding just a bit worried. This concerned Taylor.

“Who was it?” she asked.

“That was Alejandro Fishdale,” Frederick said. “He’s a wealthy customer who’s here about five times a day to order his very expensive cup of coffee, and is constantly recommending Java the Hut to his friends. Now what do you think he’ll say? That the waitress there is a bitch - not that you’re a bitch at all - so they shouldn’t go there? No. That can’t happen.”

“So what do I need to do?” Taylor asked.

“Here’s Alejandro’s address,” Frederick said. “You’re gonna need to go there and apologize to him. Maybe even become his friend. Do whatever you can to bring the good name back to Java the Hut.”

“But I hate that guy…” Taylor said.

“Just do it for your job,” Frederick said.

“What?” Taylor asked. “You mean if I don’t do it you’ll fire me?”

“HELL no!” Frederick said. “Er-- I mean, we’ll have to see. It could go either way. You’re just going to need to do what I ask of you.”

“Well, okay,” Taylor said. “Is it okay if I wait a few weeks? I’d kinda like to get settled into this new job before taking bullets for it, y’know? If it’s a good job I’ll do anything for it, if it’s not I’ll chuck it out the window and find one that’s much better than it.”

“Take all the time you need,” Frederick said.

“Aw, thanks!” Taylor said.

“Any time…” Frederick said.

The five other friends then walked in.

“Hey Frederick!” Ryan said.

“Yes?” Frederick asked.

“Do you guys serve that special kelp from Frock Bottom?” Ryan asked.

“No, I’m sorry,” Frederick said.

“Damn you, Frederick!” Julie said. “Damn you to Hell!”

---

Reviews appreciated.

In my opinion, that's the best episode so far.

I COMPLETELY agree...


I laughed out loud every time Julie damned something/someone to hell...and with the ending sentence...GENIUS!! i loved every piece of it.

Bump, just because a new episode is coming soon.

I was invited to guest write so here ya go:


S1E4 (4)- Episode 4: The One with a VIP Pass

A dense fog covered Rock Bottom, keeping drivers off the roads. Caitlin and Taylor sat in there apartment, Taylor on the computer and Caitlin watching TV.

“Okay, Foogle says that the roads will be open by noon,” Taylor said.

“That’s great, now shush. I wanna see if James breaks up with Veronica,” replied Caitlin, absorbed in her FishVo’d program.

“Hmm,” sighed Taylor. The phone suddenly rang and she rushed to answer it. “Hello? Yeah…yeah…OH MY GOD!” She screamed and threw the phone down.

“What, what?!” Caitlin yelled, frightened.

“Derek got VIP passed to Fish Idol’s finale! He said we have to leave ASAP!”

“What?! But the roads are closed!”

“It’s called breaking the rules! Come on! Pack!” Both girls rushed around the apartment packing their belongings to get to Fishywood.

~~~
“Okay, ready?” Julie, Ryan, and Derek had met up and were waiting outside Caitlin and Taylor’s door. All at once, they barged down the door as Taylor pulled it open. They all crashed down onto the carpet.

“Ever heard of a knock?” Caitlin said, walking up.

“We knocked like five freakin times!” Julie cried.

“Whatever, let’s go,” said Taylor.

“Why so eager?” Derek asked, smiling.

“It’s Fishywood!” she exclaimed. “I have always been destined to go there.”

“Wait…where’s Marshall?” Caitlin asked, examining the group.

“YOU PRICK!” Julie screamed, turning on Derek. “Did you play the prank I told you not to play?”

“Uh…,” said Derek.

“Dammit,” said Julie. “Come on.”

They followed Julie to Marshall’s apartment and saw Marshall asleep in his bed.

“So…he’s just asleep,” said Taylor.

“No he’s not. Derek snuck sleeping pills into his depression medication,” said Julie.

“Derek!” Taylor said.

“Wake him up,” said Julie. “We have to go.”

“Hey, I’m the one that got us the passes,” shouted Derek.

~~~
A few moments later, the group snuck into a car and were speeding down the road.

“Okay…so far, so good,” said Ryan.

Suddenly, a police siren sounded in the distance.
All six friends perked up at the noise.

“Is it a cop?” Julie asked, who was driving.

“I’ll check,” said Marshall peeking over.

“Is it?”

“No, it’s an ice cream truck…oh wait….yeah, it’s a police car.”

“Oh shit,” Julie said and slammed the pedal down.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE4RxbcLPGs starts to play]

The car zoomed down the road.

“Julie! You can’t outrun the-why is it wet on my seat?” Taylor asked.

“I peed,” said Marshall.

“You peed in my car?” Julie yelled.

“Eww!” Ryan screeched.

“You’ll get my iPads wet!”

“They’re ‘pads’ not ‘iPads’,” said Caitlin.

Everyone screamed as the car suddenly swerved off the street.

“AHHHHHHH!” pierced the air as the car crashed through a store.

“Everyone outta the car! We gotta hide!” Julie said, out of breath. Just as the cops swerved into the store, all five hid in different spots.

“Julie,” Ryan said.

“Yeah?”

“You’re a bitch.”

S1E5 (5)- Episode 5- The One With The Toy Robot

Ryan was playing with a toy robot in his apartment. He was trying to make it knock over a bunch of soup cans.

"C'mon... c'mon..." The robot successfully knocked over the soup cans.

"OH YES! OH SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL, I'M THE CHAMPION!" At that moment Derek walked in. "MVP! THAT IS ME!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Derek demanded.

"Oh, hi, Derek." Ryan patted his toy robot lovingly. "Me and Robie (pronounced ROW-bee) were just conquering some soup cans." He pointed over, indicating the fallen soup cans.

"Uh-huh..." Derek said, unsure. "So, where did 'Robie' exactly come from?"

"I bought him at the Sand Dollar Store. Isn't he awesome?!"

Derek nodded slowly, then backed out and slammed the door.

Ryan looked down at his toy and whispered loudly to it. "I think you intimidated him."

(“With a Little Help From My Friends (theme song) plays -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBDF04fQKtQ )

Marshall, Derek, Caitlin, and Julie were hanging out at Java the Hut.

They waited until Taylor's back was turned to switch their drinks around.

"She'll learn with some practice," Caitlin said hopefully.

"Practice makes perfect," Julie agreed.

"Yeah, that's what Marshall always said about his sex life," Derek wisecracked.

Marshall, eager to change the subject, asked Derek, "Where's Ryan today?"

"He said he couldn't come. He had 'other plans'."

Cut to Ryan playing with his toy robot. "All right buddy, go for the cans! Go for the cans!" (There's stacked soup cans on the edge of the table.)

Cut back to Java the Hut. Julie said, "Well, I'm sure whatever he's doing is more important than this."

Taylor rushed back.

"Table 23?" She said in a panic.

The four friends pointed and said in unison, "That way."

"Thanks," Taylor said gratefully. She rushed over to Table 23.

---

Derek opened the door of his apartment to find Ryan still playing with that toy. "Aw, fuck..." he said to himself.

"Look, Ryan..." he began. Ryan turned his head towards Derek and started listening. "You're a grown man... sort of." Ryan appeared to be insulted. "Hey, wh-"

Derek cut him off. "Anyway, you've gotta stop playing with that toy. Get outside. Meet your friends." He held his nose. "Take a bath."

Ryan held up his robot. "He's soap-resistant," he said innocently.

Derek said, "All right, this has gone too far!" He started to run around the couch Ryan was sitting on, trying to take the robot. "Gimme the robot!"

Ryan jumped up with his robot. "No!"

"Gimme the robot!" Derek then started to run after Ryan.

"No!"

"Give it!"

"No!"

"You're an intelligent life form!"

"No!... Wait, what?"

---

Derek came back to Java the Hut, where his friends Julie, Marshall, and Caitlin were sitting.

He pulled out a broken robot from behind his back. "I got it," he said.

"Got what? A new hobby for collecting garbage?" Caitlin said bewilderedly.

"No! I got the stupid robot," Derek said.

"What stupid robot?" Julie asked.

"The one Ryan wouldn't stop playing with," Derek said.

"Wouldn't stop playing with it? That's just like the time I was over at your place, and Ryan and I rented Sea Anemones Gone Wild, and then..."

"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH!" said just about everyone within hearing range.

Marshall stopped and took a sip of his drink. He made a face, exasperatedly put it down and asked, "Okay, who's got my mocha latte?"

"Right here," Caitlin said.

The three switched their drinks.

----

Hope I did ya proud, 70s.

New episode coming soon!

We hit 900 views!

that70sguy92 wrote:We hit 900 views!

Dammit, 70s. With your little "900 Views" I though it was a new episode and got all excited.

I WANTZ AND EPISODE!!!

The one with tvguy's new episode
He dies

The tvguy comes back to life and kills Dragiiin and celebrates in victory.

Then everybody eats tvguy's flesh.

Then y'all stop taking up room on my page.

that70sguy92 wrote:Then y'all stop taking up room on my page.

It was all Dragiiin's fault!!!

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:Then y'all stop taking up room on my page.

It was all Dragiiin's fault!!!

This show won a lot of Spinnys.

In honor of that, a new episode will be coming soon? When, exactly? Most likely after an all new episode of The Origins of MermaidMan.

What happened to this?!!?

I hinted it when I said that I don't like writing shows that are based off of things. Sorry.

that70sguy92 wrote:I hinted it when I said that I don't like writing shows that are based off of things. Sorry.

But isn't Bikini Top based off of Twilight, The OC, and other drama shows...but mashed together?

Since when do you not like writing shows that aren't based off a show?

But..it was such a good show.

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:I hinted it when I said that I don't like writing shows that are based off of things. Sorry.

But isn't Bikini Top based off of Twilight, The OC, and other drama shows...but mashed together?

Since when do you not like writing shows that aren't based off a show?

But..it was such a good show.

It's not the same thing. Bikini Top is just a teen drama with vampires that stemmed from the idea of making my own interpretation of Twilight. Hitting Rock Bottom was just a carbon copy of Friends, and writing something like that gets old fast.

that70sguy92 wrote:

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:I hinted it when I said that I don't like writing shows that are based off of things. Sorry.

But isn't Bikini Top based off of Twilight, The OC, and other drama shows...but mashed together?

Since when do you not like writing shows that aren't based off a show?

But..it was such a good show.

It's not the same thing. Bikini Top is just a teen drama with vampires that stemmed from the idea of making my own interpretation of Twilight. Hitting Rock Bottom was just a carbon copy of Friends, and writing something like that gets old fast.

So ya took terminoob's advice. Nice. But the beginning of Bikini Top IS a carbon copy of a Twilight. xD But HRB was still a good spin off.

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:I hinted it when I said that I don't like writing shows that are based off of things. Sorry.

But isn't Bikini Top based off of Twilight, The OC, and other drama shows...but mashed together?

Since when do you not like writing shows that aren't based off a show?

But..it was such a good show.

It's not the same thing. Bikini Top is just a teen drama with vampires that stemmed from the idea of making my own interpretation of Twilight. Hitting Rock Bottom was just a carbon copy of Friends, and writing something like that gets old fast.

So ya took terminoob's advice. Nice. But the beginning of Bikini Top IS a carbon copy of a Twilight. xD But HRB was still a good spin off.

The first episode or two was, but I had to start somewhere.

that70sguy92 wrote:

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:I hinted it when I said that I don't like writing shows that are based off of things. Sorry.

But isn't Bikini Top based off of Twilight, The OC, and other drama shows...but mashed together?

Since when do you not like writing shows that aren't based off a show?

But..it was such a good show.

It's not the same thing. Bikini Top is just a teen drama with vampires that stemmed from the idea of making my own interpretation of Twilight. Hitting Rock Bottom was just a carbon copy of Friends, and writing something like that gets old fast.

So ya took terminoob's advice. Nice. But the beginning of Bikini Top IS a carbon copy of a Twilight. xD But HRB was still a good spin off.

The first episode or two was, but I had to start somewhere.

Yeah. Will you ever bring HRB back?

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:

tvguy347 wrote:

that70sguy92 wrote:I hinted it when I said that I don't like writing shows that are based off of things. Sorry.

But isn't Bikini Top based off of Twilight, The OC, and other drama shows...but mashed together?

Since when do you not like writing shows that aren't based off a show?

But..it was such a good show.

It's not the same thing. Bikini Top is just a teen drama with vampires that stemmed from the idea of making my own interpretation of Twilight. Hitting Rock Bottom was just a carbon copy of Friends, and writing something like that gets old fast.

So ya took terminoob's advice. Nice. But the beginning of Bikini Top IS a carbon copy of a Twilight. xD But HRB was still a good spin off.

The first episode or two was, but I had to start somewhere.

Yeah. Will you ever bring HRB back?

I doubt it. But if I ever do, it won't be any time soon.

For fuck's sake, I messed this show up bad.

Wumbology wrote:For fuck's sake, I messed this show up bad.

No, you and tvguy were both excellent writers.

Wumbology wrote:For fuck's sake, I messed this show up bad.

But messing shows aren't possibler

Gentlemen Mordecai wrote:

Wumbology wrote:For fuck's sake, I messed this show up bad.

But messing shows aren't possibler

SEE WHAT I DID THERE I MADE FUN OF YOU'RE GRAMMAR HA HA I'M CLEVER i just want to be loved