Post Fiction

Synopsis: Imposter SOF; Casual poster, Good Noodle...Impostor? Mysteriously being placed in the heart of The Community, a once peaceful place full of the most friendliest people around, he immediately causes unrest with the murder of a high-ranking public figure. With no real memories of his past and with only the intent to bang everything he sees, he equips himself with me Mallet of Doom™ and continues to raise hell as only Imposter SOF can in a world where you don't know who's real and who's fake. Can Imposter SOF unlock his past and find out what his purpose in life really is? Find out, now.


Episode Uno: "Bang."

Day One. Montreal, Quebec, Canada. 6:09 pm.

Imposter SOF enters a local Starbucks with his Mallet of Doom™ in hand. A blood curdling smirk curled upon his face as he paced his way towards the counter, banging everybody in line with me mallet.

Cashier: Can I help you?

Imposter SOF: BRING MILK FOR ME LAWYER!!?!??!?!!?!??! *bangs Cashier with me mallet*

Imposter SOF banged everybody in the vicinity with me mallet and proceeded to head back to his loft to pick another fight with WhaleBlubber and was winning. A knock at the door interrupted his fun. Nobody interruted his fun. Imposter SOF grabbed hold of his Mallet of Doom™ before answering the door.

Episode Dos: Old Man Jenkins' Jalopy

Imposter SOF: *opens door* WHATS YER OFFER?!!??!

At the door was a dashing looking piece of Hawaiian muscle, wearing nothing but flip flops and the swim trunks on his okole. He looked Bo younger than 62 years old, he had stories to tell. He's seen many of them in those years.

OMJ: Howzit Uncle? My jalopy kinda went ke ke infront your aina and I just came to see if I could use your phone small kine?

Imposter SOF: WE DONT WANT ANY!!?! *slams door*

Imposter SOF went to sit at his computer desk to pick some fights with Justin Bieber fans in Youtube but the door busted open. The old man kicked the door in.

OMJ: Eh you da kine, ah?! I just said I wanted to use your phone small line brah! Now we get beef!

Imposter SOF was in no mood to eat meat with this dashing stranger, so he brandished his Mallet of Doom™ and prepared for battle.

Imposter SOF: OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!??!!?

OMJ: Ho brah, no need be racist like dat! *takes out his club*

They charged at each other before locking weapons with each other. OMJ gained the upper hand and swatted me mallet out of Impster SOF's grip. OMJ clubbed him a few time before Imposter SOF managed to escape into his bathroom and locked the door. OMJ banged at the door with his club, slowly jamming it out of it's hinges. Imposter SOF thought quickly and grabbed an armful of toilet paper and prepared himself as OMJ came barging in. Before he could do further harm, Imposter SOF shot toilet paper rolls at him to no effect.

OMJ: Doo doo papah? You trowin doo doo papah?!

Imposter SOF used this distraction to his advantaged and dashed out the bathroom and grabbed me mallet.

Imposter SOF: WHO YOU?! Elastic!!?

Imposter SOF said as he lunged at OMJ with me mallet, laying three good head shots before deflecting a club shot back at the Hawaiian Hard Hitter. With OMJ dazed and confused, Imposter SOF dished out a combo move, banging OMJ hard with every blow. OMJ knew he was on the losing edge of this battle, so he took out a blunt and got blazed, powering him up to his fullest potential.

OMJ: See ya later, bran flakes!

OMJ pounced at Imposter SOF in a groggy fury before blowing molten hot fire from his mouth. Imposter SOF banged on the Earth with me mallet, creating a rock barrier that blocked the flames. With OMJ's guard down, Imposter SOF flew high into the air, gripping me mallet as tight as he could before banging OMJ's head hard into the ground, splattering brains and brain juices everywhere in the room. With OMJ finally defeated, Imposter SOF proceeded to experience a surge of power.

Imposter SOF: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!???!!?!

Imposter SOF licked the blood off the walls before logging onto OMJ's chatbox to chat with Swamp Man and bang everyone in sight.


Next Time!!

*Imposter SOF clashes with an electrical enemy*

Narrator: "A Date With The Cable Guy! Sloppy Seconds All-Around!!" only next time, on Mallet Massacre!?!?

Episode III: "A Date With The Cable Guy! Sloppy Seconds All-Around!!"


Imposter SOF woke up one Saturday morning to watch some Saturday morning cartoons. When his cable suddenly conksnout, he grabs me mallet and headed outside to check it out. After getting nowhere he banged the satellite dish and phoned human services, who said they'll be sending somebody right away. About 46 minutes later, a knock was heard at the door.

Imposter SOF. *answers* WHATS YER OFFER?!!?!

Tvguy: Hi, you must be Imposter SOF! I'm the cable guy. It has come to my attention that-

Imposter SOF: WE DONT WANT ANY!!? *slams door*

Imposter SOF threw me Mallet of Doom™ to the side and went on his desktop but a surge of elextricity filled the room, bringing Imposter SOF to his knees. The door bursted open, and Tvguy was on the other side with two sparking spark plugs. He had a sinister grin on his face as he jumped into the premises.

Tvguy: ITS TEH CABLE GAI!!

Imposter SOF: WHO YOU!!? YOU ELASTIC!!?!

Tvguy retaliated with a thunder ball that sent Imposter SOF flying out of the living room and into the kitchen. With me Mallet of Doom™ out of reach, Imposter SOF had to Kung Fu fight for his life against an enemy who was dressed up as Lady Gaga and had the power of Thomas Edison by his side.

Imposter SOF: STOOPID DAWG!?!

Imposter SOF said as he leaped into the air. He punched at Tvguy but Tvguy blocked each of his attacks. Imposter SOF went for the early kill by nailing a Superman Punch but Tvguy caught his fist in his hand proceeded to give him 100000 volts of kick ass. Imposter SOF went flying into the kitchen again, me mallet still out of reach.

Imposter SOF: Youre just pissing off me now!?

Imposter SOF said as he went for another Superman Punch but Tvguy easily evaded it by shooting out a jolt of electricity at him.

Tvguy: IM ON THE EDGE! OF GLORYYY! And Im spending every single moment with you!

Imposter SOF: NEVAR!

Imposter SOF kipped up and locked Tvguy in his deadly and patented Dread Lock!

Imposter SOF: STOOPID DAWG! YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD?!

Tvguy conjured an aura of electricity around his body that made Imposter SOF lose his death grip. Tvguy proceeded to splatter more make up on his face for whatever reason.

Tvguy: You can't read my P-p-p-po-po-po-pok-pok-poker Face! Na! Na! NA! NA!

Tvguy shouted out as fired a wave of electrical energy at Imposter SOF. Despite feeling the after shock of Tvguy's attacks, he mustered up the strength to dodge roll out of the way towards me mallet. With me mallet in hand, the real fight was about to begin.

Imposter SOF: TEH REAL FITE IZ BOUT 2 BEGAN!!?!

Imposter SOF said as he twirled me mallet around, creating a gust of whirlwind that sent Tvguy flying back out of the house. Imposter SOF gave chase but was greeted by a thunder blot to the face

Imposter SOF: How you have these powuh?!!

Tvguy: Let's just say that I was...BORN THIS WAY!!

Tvguy said as he smeared more make up on and fired a two handed lightning blast at Imposter SOF, who managed to block the blast with me mallet. Me Mallet of Doom™ also somehow absorbed the electricity. Tvguy charged towards Imposter SOF.

Tvguy: Time to the pull the plug on this show!

Imposter SOF: FATHER TOR!! BLESS THIS WORE??!!?

Imposter SOF shouted out as he banged me mallet against the pavement, creating a huge ass electrical current that blasted Tvguy away on contact. The current was spread out throughout a 5 mile radius, destroying many homes in the process. Imposter SOF went back inside to record some Lemonade Mouth before heading out for some Sloppy seconds on the local street corner.


NEXT TIME

*Imposter SOF is shown having a swordfight with somebody in bell bottom jeans and a disco jacket*

Narrator: Next time!! "Swordfight to the Death! Panic at the Disco!!"

LMFAO.

Episode IV: Swordfight to the Death! Panic At The Disco!!"


Imposter SOF, hoping people will stop calling him a closet disco queen, heads out for a night at the disco. Not wanting to scare away any brick houses, he tearfully leaves me Mallet Of Doom™ home. He strutted along the vibrant city streets for two hours before making his entrance at the disco which was only a few blocks a way from his house, with Staying Alive by the Bee Gees playing as background music. Little does Imposter SOF know, he'll have to stay alive literally tonight.

Bouncer: Name?

Imposter SOF: WHO YU?! YOU PLASTIC?!

Imposter SOF said before banging the bouncer.

Imposter SOF: SUK IT!!SUCK TI WET!!?

And Imposter SOF proceeded to strut his way in. The bouncer got up in a daze and went to speak into his head gear.

Bouncer: He's here, Daddy.

Daddy: Its all good. All be goin aiight. Holla back at me with some money, player.

Bouncer: Yes, Daddy.

Imposter SOF was boogyin to the groove and getting funked up. He was a like a maniac, a MANIAC on the floor. He was dancing like he never danced before! Even the hep-cats were in awe at his skizzles.

Hep-Cat 1: That cat's got claws, dog.

Hep-Cat 2: Im in awe at his skizzles.

A bodacious female went up to Imposter SOF and leaned all up in his skillets. She placed herself into his arms and held on tight with her head laying on Imposter SOF's broad chest. She put her arms over his broad shoulders before sliding a finger down his pectoral.

Dancing Girl: Hello there, Tiger. Got a name?

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER OFFER??!!!

Dancing Girl: Ooh, kitty's got claws. I like that in a man. Along with pectorials such as your's.

Imposter SOF: WE DONT WANT ANY!!?!

Dancing Girl: Rawr.

The disco ball was lowered and the dance floor glittered in rainbow colors.

Dancing Girl: You're dancing with the Dancing Queen now.

They started doing the twist for about 25 minutes straight before the Dancing Queen got tired.

Dancing Queen: Thanks for the dance, honey.

Imposter SOF: YOU MAEK MEH LUK BAD!!??!!! OOGA BOOGA BOOGAH!!

And the Dancing Queen was scared off. After getting a few feet away, she too got on her ear piece.

Dancing Queen: Dont you ever make me do that again, Calvin!

Calvin: Woah baby! In this club it's Dadd-

Dancing Queen: Shut ya yap!

Calvin: K dear. Sara, honey, did he have the mallet on em? Is he packin heat??

Sara: I felt him up all over for 25 minutes. He's clean.

Calvin: Fuckin A, dear. I'll give you yo pay once this night is over.

Sara: Oohoohoo. Sounds kinkyy!

Calvin: Its supposed to be kinky.

Sara: Way to kill the mood, babe.

Meanwhile, Imposter SOF was out banging some brick houses all over the dance floor. He was like dancing, yeah! All of a sudden, the lights went out throughout the club. Smoke started to fill the place up and neon lights filled the air like clockwork. A figure was seen standing near the entrance, clad in a thick silk over coat and pimp hat. He was using a cane to walk. He slowly made his way towards the dance floor. With each step he took, a floor tile would light up in an assortment of neon colors. Nobody wanted a piece of this cool cat, since they all got out of his way as he made his way through the crowd. This guy was about six feet nine inches with those elevator boots he was sporting. Once he made his way toward the center of the dance floor, he took of his aviator shades and crushed it at the bottom of his boot. He had a Cuban cigar in his mouth, which he proceeded to swallow whole before puffing smoke into the atmosphere, damaging the ozone no doubt.

Calvin: Can you count, suckas?!

No response.

Calvin: I said, can you count?!

Guy: What comes after 69?

Calvin popped up his cane and shot the guy square in the chest, sending him flying.

Hep-Cats: Holy shit!

Hep-Cat 2: Outta sight!

Calvin: Imposter SOF! You prickly ass mofucka! Step up or step out!

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER OFFER??!!!

Calvin: How about yo dick on a silver platter? My name is That 70s Guy, you iced my boi, prepare to die.

Imposter SOF: WHO U?! U ELAST-

Before he could finish his question, 70s shot at him with his pimp cane but Imposter SOF used his cat-like reflexes to dodge roll out of the way.

70s: *cocks cane* Where you rollin off to, beatnik?!

Imposter SOF: BRING MILF FO ME LAWYER!!?!

70s: You dissin my girl now?! You're gonna bee needing a lawyer after this shit's been taken!

70s shot a few more times, missing every shot before running out of shell.

70s: Ah sheet. I wanna ice your ass honorably anyway. So I thought this through.

He turned his cane into a scimitar.

70s: Being the genius I am, You'll be packing heat as well.

70s had one of his men, who looked like Jared Padalecki, hand SOF a sword of his own.

Imposter SOF: FUCKIN S!

70s: But being the genius I am *splits his sword, revealing a dual handed scimitar* I came prepared.

Imposter SOF proceeded to split his sword, but it was just one blade so he tore the blade from it's hilt.

Imposter SOF: DUCK!!?!

70s: You outta time, baby!

70s said before leaping into the air and thrusting his swords at Imposter SOF in a downward spiral. Impost managed to dodge at the Nick of time, but got a little nicked off his ass from the force of 70s attack. Imposter SOF had no weapon at his disposal so he had to rely on his hand to hand skillets once more. He went for a four punch combo, but 70s dodged each one, using his scimitars to slash, gash, slice, and dice Imposter SOF with each attack evaded.

70s: *brings his swords outstretched to his sides* DISCO INFERNOOOOOOOOO!!!

70s engulfed himself in a ring of fire and spun around, creating a fiery inferno tornado of hellfire and brimstone over a thousand degrees Fahrenheit! It was 70s ultimate attack. He was going for the kill.

70s: I'm going for the kill!

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER FEAL??!!

70s: You iced my boy, Tvguy!

Jelly: *cameo* What a tweest! *eyes roll in circles like a jelly roll*

70s: I'll fucking chew off your balls and feed it to you!

Imposter SOF: NEVAR!!?!

Impost started running around aimlessly around the club, evading the Throwback Tornado. A lot of casualties in the process. Imposterior SOF grabbed a fire extinguisher and threw it at the heart of the tornado.

Imposter SOF: FUCK TEH FIYAH DEPARTMINT!!

An explosion of foam occured, putting a stop to the Throwback Tornado once and for all. 70s was in shock. Nobody could have the brains to outsmart him, especially not somebody like Imposter SOF. He grabbed his swords and encased them in fire before slashing and hashing and slicing and dicing at Impost like a maniac, MANIAC. Imposter SOF managed to dodge each attack before somersault kicking one of 70s scimitars out of his hands. Impost seized this opportunity and jumped up on 70s before leaping into the air to grab the sword. He gave 70s a Superman Kick to the face before landing awkwardly. It was time to boogie,

Imposter SOF: LETS NOOGIE!!

70s: Dig this, sucka!

Theybcharged at each other before locking swords. With every clash of their swords, sparks were sent flying, setting the place ablaze around them. 70s used his elevator boots to elevate himself up even higher.

70s: What now, sucka?!

Imposter SOF: TIEM TO BUT YOU DOWN TO SEIZE!!

Imposter SOF said before slashing at the boots a few hundred times, bringing 70s down to earth literally.

70s: SARA!!

Sara came flipping onto the scene before kicking Imposter SOF back a few hundred feet away, and through a brick wall.

70s: She's a Brick House!

Sara: Youre too kind, baby, You got some dirt on your face *licks her thumb* let me get that out.

70s: Baby! >.> Im trying to ice my mortal enemy!

Before she can clean 70s face, Imposter SOF came from behind a nailed her with a Double Dip with his sword, one of his signature attacks. Blood splatter all over 70s silk suit.

70s: My suit!

Sara: Calvin!

70s: Sara!

Sara: *gets thrown aside by Imposter SOF and is sent flying into the air* Calvin!

70s: SARA!

Imposter SOF: DONKEY!!? *impales 70s*

70s: *is impaled* Blughughergh *spits blood* Saragluhhergh!

Imposter SOF: YOU ARE SO FORTY EARS AGO!!?!?

70s: *gets down to his knees* Cruse you...CRUSE YOUUUUUUUUUI!!!!!

Suddenly, 70s men, who all looked like Jared Padalecki, proceeded to gang bang Imposter SOF. One of them carried 70s off, cradling him in his biceps. Imposter SOF fought off the Padaleckis by banging them all with me sword.

70s: You think you're all that! But you're nawt!!

70s cried out before making an escape in his limo. Another one of his Jareds carried Sara off as well.

Imposter SOF used his cat-like reflexes to limbo his way out of the burning disco. Once he made it out, people greeted him with applause.

Imposter SOF: YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD!

He said before banging the paparazzi.

Meanwhile, at 70s Crib.

70s: Nobody makes a fool out of the 70s! Mark my words, sucka! I'll cap your ass harder than crayola markers! I guarantee it!!


Next Time

*a clips us shown of Imposter SOF charging towards a bunch of gun toting maniacs on horseback*

Next time on Mallet Massacre!! "Money In The Bank! The Kids Are Alright!!"

ok that's quite enough, OMJ

Ah, memories of the old chatbox signature.

Lulzy stuff OMJ, lulzy stuff.

Episode V: Unaccompanied Minors! The Kids Are Alright!!"


Imposter SOF decided to make a deposit at the bank one day, but little did he know, some shit was about to be stirred. This time, he's prepared with me Mallet of Doom™ in tow. He could take on anyone. He could take on the world.

Bank Employee: May I help you sir?

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER OFFER?!!?-

Before he could finish those exclamation points and question marks, a gun shot was heard coming from outside the bank. Suddenly, four gun toting cowpokes on horseback came stampeding into the bank, firing shots into the air and tightening their lassos.

Bank Employee: Oh my gawd! It's Jesse James The Kid! Otherwise known as Jjsthekid, leader of the Sea Minors, a gang of underage outlaws without a cause and just don't give a Fu- *is shot in the head*

Jjs was the one who pulled the trigger with his trademark six-shooter. He smirked before taking a spat into some innocent bystander's mouth. He popped more tobacco into his mouth and began to chew.

Jjs: Lemme tell my story, you dirty, little skank!

His gang aimed their guns at the bank tellers.

Jjs: Now I want y'all to put all your money into them there bags! If you choose to refuse, then I'll take this here six-shooter and blast all your damn darn brains out! If y'all pull anything funny, then you'll just have to take a six-shooter up the ass and we'll just see if you'd really like it! Now SHOW ME THE MONEY!!

The bank tellers go grab all the money from the safes and bring it all to Jjs boys. One of the tellers accidentally drop some if the cash.

Drew: *shoots into the air* Hey! Careful with the money, fool! In the economy we be in now, we ain't gonna be having much to take! Rob, check to see if the bacon's sizzling!

Rob went to go look out the window.

Rob: I ain't seein shit, compadres. Let's hope shit stays that way *shoots another bank teller* Capiche?!

Jjs: Doc, watch over the kids!

Doc: I do say, you all best not to pull anything that is quite humorous, or Im afraid I'll have to execute you quite unceremoniously.

Imposter SOF was like who the fuck were these guys. They're ruining his day already...and nobody ruins Imposter SOF's day.

Imposter SOF: *grabs me mallet and waves it in the air* YALL ARR RUINING MY SAY!!?!?

Drew: Who the fuck are you sposed to be?!

Rob: A hammer?? What the hell us that sposed to do? Bang us to death?! Bahaha!

Doc: Yes, I do say, are you supposed to think we're mere nails and you, being the one with the hammer, try to hit us?!

Jjs: *shoots Doc in the leg* Shut the fuck up, doc!

Imposter SOF raised me mallet into the air before banging the ground hard, creating a shockeave that knocked everybody off their feet and on to their asses.

Jjs: What in tarnation?!

Imposter SOF went on the attack! He targetted Doc first. Doc was an English gentlemen, who was the fastest shot in the West Coast.

Doc: How invigorating, dear boy! I accept your challenge, dear boy!

He said before unholstering his dual handed six-shooters and unloading them at Imposter SOF. Imposter dodged all the shots as he leapt into the air, much to Doc's surprise.

Doc: Poppycock!

He attempting to reload his weapons but was not fast enough to avoid Imposter SOF's Seismic Slam, causing Doc's head to assplode, splattering brain juices everywhere.

Drew: The sunna bitch done killed Doc!

Rob: You bastard!

Drew went for his Winchester Repeater but was met with a Superman Punch through the chest.

Drew: What..in the...blue blazesplurghaghgurg...

He said as he spat out blood. He died slowly as Imposter SOF tossed him of to the side.

Imposter SOF: RETURN THE SLAP!!?!!?!?

Rob: Jjs, we're getting fucked up the ass here!

Jjs: Shoot em, ya piece of shit!

They both got out their six-shooters and unloaded on Imposter SOF, who evaded the shits and dodge rolled behind the front desks. Jjs and Rob still kept shooting at the desk, looking to take out Imposter SOF. Theybstopped after about ten minutes. They looked proud of themselves.

Rob: We did good, Jesse!

Jjs: Im proud of ya, James.

Before they could embrace for a manhug, Imposter SOF grabbed hold of Rob from behind.

Imposter SOF: SURPIZE BUTSECHS!!?!

Rob: Jesse!

Jjs: Rob!

Rob: Get this varment up off me!

Jjs was reluctant to shoot after seeing how awkward they looked. It was too late, though, as Imposter SOF already had Rob caught in his patented and deadly Dread Lock!

Imposter SOF: Anaconda SQUEEZE!!

Impost said before tightening his hold and burrowing Rob down into the ground and into his grave.

Jjs: What witchcraft is this?!

Jjs said as he shot at the tiled floor. He ran out of ammo and had to fight the rest of this battle alone.

Jjs: Looks like I gotta fight the rest of this battle alone.

Suddenly, Imposter SOF drilled out from underneath Jjs, drilling The Kid in half up the ass and down the middle.

Imposter SOF: *waving me mallet in the air* I HAVE THE POWDER!!?

Imposter SOF said before banging everyone in the bank with me mallet.

Meanwhile, on the wrong side of the tracks.

Spongebobiscool: Yo Daddy-os where the hell are them Sea Miners?!

A figure covered in darkness was applauding in the darkness.

Figure: It appears the Sea Minors met an untimely end. A shame really. They still had their uses.

Spongebobiscool: What?

Figure: Inposter SOF is exceeding even my expectations. I never expected such results this fast.

Spongebobiscool: Whatchu talking bout?

Figure: Ah, my simple-minded manservant. All shall be revealed in time, in time. Mua. Muahahaha. Muahahahahaha!

Spongebobiscool: Whoahoho there! Evil laughter, not cool.

Figure: You deserve a round of applause!

They all start clapping uncontrollably.


Next Time

*Imposter SOF is shown charging at a mechanicale snake*

Narrator: Next Time: "Copperhead Caper! A Truth Revealed To Imposter SOF!!"

Episode VI: "Copperhead Caper! A Truth Revealed To Imposter SOF!"


Imposter SOF decided to go the park one day to get some exercise. With me Mallet of Doom in hand, he proceeds to bang everything that moves. In the distance, though laid an underlying danger. A menace to society kknown only as Luke and Metal Snake. He looked on as Imposter SOF had his bang session, smiling at the events unfolding before him. To his right was his right-hand man, Sabresponge, the most skilled medical technician and chi practitioner this side of the Mississippi.

Metal Snake: Do you see what I see?

Sabresponge: An imposter.

Metal Snake: Yesss. An impossster who wieldsss the legendary Mallet of Doom™. Sssabre, I mussst acquire that for my collection.

Sabre: But Lord Metal Snake, that imposter managed to single-handedly massacre the Sea Minor gang and 70s and tvguy before them.

Metal Snake: Those fools flaunt their power like simple children with a new toy. Those fools lack patience and discipline. The bigger you are, the harder you fall, and they definitely fell hard. The imposter holds unbelievable power, killing him and taking his precious mallet as a trinket will get people to take me seriously. Take both of us seriously!

Sabresponge: Excellent plan, Lord Metal Snake!

Metal Snake: You know what you must do. Only intervene when absolutely necessary.

Sabresponge: Yes, my lord.

Metal Snake disappeared in a flash.

Imposter SOF: *bangs woman with me mallet* YOU LOOK PRETTY IN DRESS BUT LOOK BETTER ON FLOOR!!?!

Suddenly a snake popped out of the woman's vagina as it attempted to bite Imposter SOF, but he managed to bang it before it could do damage.

Metal Snake: It's true what they say. Your reflexes, they're almossst...cat-like.

Imposter SOF: WHO U??! YOU ELASTIC!!?

Metal Snake: On the contrary, I am quite the opposite. They call me...Metal Snake.

Imposter SOF: *gasps* SHE WHO MUST NOT BE MAMED!!

Metal Snake: Yes, a worthy adversary to awesome prowess. Unlike the fodder you have become so accustomed to, I think before I take action. That is what makes me deadly. That is what makes me a threat to everyone, even you!

Snake said as he moved towards Imposter SOF with the speed and flexibility of a snake. He dealt Imposter SOF a three-hit combo before recoiling. His eyes were like a snake's. He had only slits for a nose. His skin was scale-like. Metal Snake was a true freak of nature. His smirk revealed the venomous fangs he hid in his mouth. He had long flowing black hair. He was concealed in a black cloak. Imposter SOF, himself, was a bit shaken by this new adversary, but he never let that intimidate him.

Imposter SOF: ILL NEVAR BET YOU INTIMIDATE ME!!?!

Metal Snake: Adversaries all the way to the end! Let us fight!

Snake said as he spat out a katana sword from his esophagus. He slithered his way to Imposter SOF and took a swing. Impost managed to block his strikes and thrusts with me mallet, which refused to break at the force of the sword.

Metal Snake: That mallet is truly a work if art. A work if art I must acquire for myself.

Imposter SOF: NEVAR!??!?!!?

Impost shouted as he proceeded to bang at Snake's sword with me mallet. Snake was fought back into a corner, he was on the losing edge at this point. He thought of a new strategy quick. He proceeded to jump right out of his skin, shedding his old one and leaping behind Imposter SOF during the confusion. He had his sword at his back. He was bare naked. He was now on the edge of glory.

Metal Snake. Elementary. Looks like another one shall bite the dust.

Impost thought as quickly as his mind could handle. He needed an exit strategy. He stomped on Metal Snake's foot, throwing the snake off guard and prone to an attack. Imposter SOF proceeded to nail him with a Bang Barrage courtesy of me mallet, another one of Imposter SOF's signature manuevers. Metal Snake was knocked back to his stomach. With his back facing at him, Imposter SOF proceeded to clutch Metal Snake into his patented and deadly Dread Lock! He proceeded to constrict his body onto Metal Snake's bare skin, breaking away at his bones.

Imposter SOF: WHO U!!? HOW U NOW ME??!

Metal Snake: Who would know anything...about...an imposter?

Imposter SOF: WHO IMPOSTER ME!!?

Metal Snake: No, you ignoramous. You ARE the imposter!

Imposter SOF: I CANT BE!! THAT'S IMPISSIBLE!!

Metal Snake: Believe-Believe it... you are absolutely no one! Created...to live life a lie! Your name has the word "Imposter" in it! You are nobody! An even bigger nobody than ME! Than everyone else!

Imposter SOF: YOU BASTARD!!

Imposter SOF went for the death roll, but Sabresponge blasted him with a chi blast just in time, knocking Imposter SOF off of Metal Snake.

Sabresponge: Lord Metal Snake! Are you alright?! Can you hear me?!

Metal Snake: Take me and flee! Let's leave this imposter to face his reality.

Sabresponge: As you wish, my lord.

Sabresponge said before grabbing Metal Snake and running away with him in his arms. Imposter SOF now had to come to terms with the harsh reality that he was a nobody. In a world where he's alone. Who created him and what was their purpose? Those were the questions that weren't on Imposter SOF's mind. He grabbed me mallet and went back home to find out what time Phineas and Ferb is on.

Meanwhile, in the Underground City.

Sabresponge: We have made it back, my lord.

Metal Snake: Funny, I too am puzzled as to why he was created. But he has something that I desire so dear. The Mallet of Doom™ will be mine. I swear it. It is only rightfully so. A weapon such as that deserves to be held in much more suitable handsss.

Sabresponge: Would you like tour spongebath now, my Lord?

Metal Snake: So be it. That mallet...it's power. Will all soon.. Be...mine.

Metal Snake hissed as he got into his bathtub.


Next Time

*a clip is shown of Imposter SOF fighting back against disk jockey*

Narrator: Next Time! "Hustle and Flow! The DJ Hero rises!!*


I know this was a confusing episode, so if you're confused and have questions. Feel free to PM me!

Episode VII: "Trouble In Paradise! What Would John Wayne Do?!"


Imposter SOf went for a day out in the Community. He had me mallet in his hand as he began to ponder the revelation revealed to him in the previous episode. Who created him for what sick and twisted purpose? As he dealt with his identity crisis, he paid a visit to the local Guests' Paradise hotel, a place where guests of the Community would stay and hang out and get raped by the members of the Community. Imposter SOF rolled on up in there and proceeded to bang any guest he could find with me mallet. Imposter SOF noticed that something was wrong here.

Imposter SOF: SUMTHINGS WONG HERE!!!?!

He scoured the Paradise hotel but there wasn't another soul. Suddenly another guest came logging in through the front lobby. Imposter SOF flew into the air and banged the guest into the ground.

Imposter SOF: WATS WONG HERE??!?!!?

The guest turned onto his back, it was LAT.

LAT: DAMMIT DALE!

Imposter SOF: QHO U?! U ELASTIC!!?

LAT: DAMMIT HE GOT DALE!

Imposter SOF: WHO GOT EM!?

LAT: *points to the Lobby* There.

Imposter SOF let LAT off easy and allowed him to log on off. He tightened the grip on me mallet before heading towards the Lobby. Once in the Lobby, the sound of a shrieking man was heard throughout the place. Another man was yelling at him. In the distance, was a large platform constructed out of ply wood and other items that were found in the expanding hotel. As Imposter SOF got closer, it became apparent that hanging by braided ropes in the form of nooses, there bodies of many guests hanging from the sides of the platform. The platform was actually a makeshift gallows, and guests were being hung out to dry. At the top of the gallows, a man stood at the edge with a noose around his neck. Behind him appeared to be one of the community's higher ranking officers, or moderator. Imposter SOF knew this rogue mod. He was dressed in a sheriff's uniform complete with badge, 10 gallon hat, and lasso. He looked dirty as he spat out some chewed tobacco.

Dale: Please mister! We only came here looking to take a dip in the pool!

Teenj: Skinny dippin, eh?! That's against the rules!

Dale: I didn't say anything like that!

Teenj: That's exactly what those sunnabitches say when they refused to follow the rules!

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER OFFER??!!

Teenj: *perplexed* Who the hell you supposed to be?! You dare question my methods, son?! Well you ain't got the badge, now do ya?! I DO!! I think once and act twice! You think Im gonna take shit from a piece of shit like you?! Not no way, not no how! Not anymore! I'm the big man now! What I say goes! You respect my word and when I say dance, YOU DANCE!

Teenj proceeded to kick Dale off the scaffolding, causing the rope to snap his neck from the force of the fall. Imposter SOF simply looked on in shock. Teenj started doing the Texas two-step.

Teenj: Soooooeeeee!!! Piggy! Piggy! PIGGY!!

Teenj yelled out before leaping off the makeshift gallows and onto level ground with Imposter SOF. Imposter SOF assumed his battle stance as Teenj reached for his blunderbuss. Teenj fired a huge blast at Imposter SOF's direct, but Impost manage to deflect it by banging the ammo with me mallet in mid-air.

Teenj: You were the one aintcha?! You were the sunnabitch who took out the Sea Minors, didntcha?!

Imposter SOF: STOOPID DAWG!!

Teenj: Cause of you, I got posted in this nowhere hick place! Skinning your hide will be sweeter than biscuits and gravey!

Teenj vowed as fire more shot at Impost. Imposter SOF managed to avoid the huge blasts by dodge rolling in the Nick of time. Teenj realized he was out of ammo.

Teenj: Dagnabbit! Outta ammo!

He tossed the blunderbuss aside and pulled out his lasso of truth. He twirled it in the air for a good 10 minutes before tossing it at Imposter SOF. He had Impost caught up in his lasso of truth.

Teenj: Now when I say dance, you dance!

Teenj tightened the hold on the rope, squeezing the air out Inposter SOF and causing him to dance.

Teenj: You ain't ousting me from my post this time, boy! Now talk! Were you the one who took out them Sea Minors?!

Imposter SOF was losing breath. He had no choice but to talk.

Imposter SOF: NEVAR!!??!

Teenj: What in the bayou?? Talk!

Teenj pulled on it even tighter. Imposter SOF began losing conciousness.

Imposter SOF: K GAWD DAMN IT! I DID IT!!

Teenj: That's all I need to hear. Any last words?

Suddenly, sirens were blazing outside the hotel. Teenj started quivering in his cowboy boots. His grip loosened on the rope. This was Imposter SOF's chance.

Imposter SOF: YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD!!?!

Imposter SOF said as banged me Mallet of Doom™ down against the rope snapping. He powered his out of the lasso that was around him.

Imposter SOF: BRING MILK FOR ME LAWYER!!

Teenj: What in tarnation!

They engaged in hand to combat, with Teenj dodging a Superman Punch attempt. Teenj nailed Impost with a three-hit combo, knocking Imposter SOF back a foot or two. Teenj then nailed him with his built in Sonic Cannon, sending Imposter SOF flying through a wall.

Teenj: I got the sonic if you got the boom.

Teenj snidely said as he tossed a birdarang at Imposter SOF. Before the birdarang could connect, he fired out another Sonic Cannon, looking to finish Imposter SOF off with his trademark Sonic Boom™. Imposter SOF caught on to the attack and took it like the man he is.

Teenj: Pigs in a blanket.

When the smoke cleared, Imposter SOF was revealed to still be standing tall, although he was heavily battle damaged by the attack.

Impster SOF: OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

Impost shouted out as he charged towards Teenj, dodging all the Star Bolts he was firing at him. With me mallet in hand, he nailed Teenj with a Double Sunday, bring Teenj down to the ground. He went to finish him off with a Saturday Crush, but stopped himself as the Community Peace Keepers came storming in, armed with high-tech assault rifles. They pushed Imposter SOF off to the side as they proceeded to apprehend Teenj. The captain of the force approached Imposter SOF, with a look of approval on his face.

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER OFFER??!

Sponge Sebastian: The name's Sponge Sebastian. I'm the captain in charge of this unit. Look, you handled yourself good, real good.

Imposter SOF:...THE NEST.

Sponge Sebastian: The department could use someone like you.

Imposter SOF: WE DONT WANT ANY!!?!??!?!

Sponge Sebastian: Just say the word and my department would be proud to have you.

Imposter SOF: SUK IT! SUK IT WET!

Imposter SOF said before storming off with me mallet. Sponge Seb shrugged it off and proceeded to take Teenj in.

Sponge Sebastian: Teenj, I'm really disappointed in you.

Teenj: Meh.

LAT: *underneath Dale's hanging corpse* DAMNIT DALE! I came as soon as the police were sure that you were dead!

Meanwhile, later that night at the precinct.

Teenj was in his cell with nothing but a blank expression on his face. He was stripped of his mod power at this point. A guard came in.

Guard: You have a visitor.

He escorted Teenj to the visitor center where a man waited, sitting calmly behind the glass with the phone in hand. He was dressed casually. Teenj took a sat and grabbed the phone on his side and put it to his ear.

Teenj: Hello, Dragiiin.

Dragiiin: Did you wring anything out of the guests?

Teenj: Bastards ain't know jack shit.

Dragiiin: Fuckers. Fuck all of them. But you, my friend, I am disappoint. What the fuck happened in there?

Teenj: This guy, Imposter SOF, he came in and fucked shit up. He also said he was the one who took out the Sea Minors and cost me my damn job!

Dragiiin: Fuck your job. You're working with me now, and you're not doing a very good job at it.

Teenj: Gimme a chance. Now that I know what we're up against, I'll be ready next time.

Dragiiin: Fuck you mang. You had your chance. I already have Spongebobiscool and his boys breathing down my neck about the whole bank thing. Now here you are, acting like a dumbass and failing to do something that is so God damn motherfucking simple! You disappoint me. This...Imposter SOF is dabbling his hands where they don't belong. But Imma gonna deal with him, I can guarantee you that.

Teenj: What about my situation?

Dragiiin: I think it's time to cut the chord on this little partnership. Don't drop the soap, limp dick.

Dragiiin said before leaving Teenj to his fate.


Next Time

*a clip is shown of Imposter SOF fighting off a gang of greasers on the other side of the train tracks*

Narrator: Next Time! "Grease Lightnin'! Rumble In Brighton Tonight!!"

Episode VIII: "Grease Lightnin! Rumble In Brighton Tonight!!"


Imposter SOF was still making his way from the Guests' Paradise Inn from the previous episode. He was drained of most of his energy from his fight with Teenj. With me Mallet of Doom™ in hand, Imposter SOF followed the old tran tracks home, walking past an old, abandoned trainyard. The sun was setting and it was getting increasingly dark as minutes wents by. Imposter SOF still looked battle damaged and bruised from his previous fight. He couldn't help but feel that he was being watched so he threw me mallet into the sky.

Imposter SOF: TAKE DAT YOU FICKIN ALIEMS!!?!

He shouted out before catching me mallet a few minutes afterward. He continued on his way home. But unknown to him, a new enemy will emerge.

Meanwhile, at the wrong side of the tracks.

Figure: It has come to my attention that one of Dragiiin's boys got hit with the ban hammer. Hard.

Spongebobiscool: Yeah butchu know how the word on the streets go.

Figure: Imposter SOF is growing stronger with each battle. He has really been exceeding my expectations.

Spongebobiscool: Butchu know, he still ain't the real deal. Not legit.

Figure: My feeble-minded man slave. He may not be the genuine article, but he is reaching a level that exceeds even the original. I started realizing that through his battles with tvguy and 70s. Perhaps soon, I can finally put my plan into action.

Spongebobiscool: Tvguy cannot be dead, could he? I mean, sure he's thebrunt of the little but he's still one of the golden boys here. No way Imposter SOF coulda had wasted em.

Figure: When tvguy fired his last attack at Imposter SOF, Imposter SOF managed to block it by using the Mallet of Doom™ as a makeshift shield. When the blast connected to the mallet, it absorbed the force of the blast, channeling that energy throughout itself. Seeing as how it was tvguy's own power that supplied that energy, what Imposter SOF did with that energy after was more than enough to kill tvguy on contact.

Spongebobiscool: Damn man, you know those typa words confuse the hell outta me, Daddy-O!

Figure: What really impressed me was the fight with 70s. I mean, sure that idiot throwback has lost a beat or two throughout the years, but Imposter SOF still managed to fight him on leveled ground.

Spongebobiscool: What about Jjs?

Figure: Trust me, he's still alive.

Spongebobiscool: The fuck you say?

Figure: He simply laid out a decoy. Pretty generic, but he's still alive. There ain't no way someone like him could had been taken out that easily, nit even by Imposter SOF.

Spongebobiscool: This is fucking surreal.

Suddenly, the sound of a door opening and closing was heard. Out from the shadows, another figure emerged into the light, revealing himself to be Jjsthekid!

Figure: Glad to see you actually made it back in one piece.

Jjs: Hardy fuckin har!

Spongebobiscool: Whoahohoho! Leavin me outta da loop, not cool.

Jjs: STFU sbiscool.

Figure: Nobody tells him to STFU but me.

Spongebobiscool: Yeah, besides, where the money you promised?

Jjs: Not here obviously.

Spongebobiscool: Not what I wanna hear. You know Drag has been breathin down my neck cause of you? If this business relationship is supposed to work, you need to start doing as you're told.

Jjs: Look, I'll get you both your doubloons. I just need time.

Spongebobiscool: Yeah, tell that to Dragiiin. The fucking maniac is gonna sink his teeth into me cause of this.

Jjs: Stop being such a damn pussy and be fucking cool for once!

Figure: Gentleman, could you take you little squabble elsewhere. I have business to discuss with Mr. iscool.

Jjs: Fine. But FYI, the mallet maniac is right outside the station. He threw his hammer into the air and said something about aliens or whatever.

Figure: What? How?

Jjs: I tailed him here.

Spongebobiscool: The bastard cost me some bread. Jjs, take care of it.

Jjs: *leaving* Nah, I'm not being paid nearly enough for this.

Spongebobiscool: But the wimp took your boys out! An eye for an eye, right?

Jjs: It don't matter to me, that bot and those idiots were expendable anyhow. Good luck.

Spongebobiscool: Fuckin sellout. I'll take the bastard out myself. He's cost me too much damn bread.

Figure: I advise against doing that.

Spongebobiscool: Look, I can't even tell who the hell you're supposed to be, so screw you and screw you cause! That shit's over.

Figure: You'll regret it.

Spongebobiscool already made his way out of the building he gathered a few of his goons and all got into a hot rod. They peeled out, burning rubber on the pavement. Accompanying him was Spongedude, a surf bum wielding a surfboard. To the left of him was SBRoxMan, the biggest and strongest of the group. Riding shotgun was William Leonard, preppy rich kid armed with daddy's high powered pistol. In the back was Savannah Squarepants, sbiscool's candy girl armed with a Tommy Gun. Sbiscool was revving it 50 mph towards Imposter SOF's direction. Imposter SOF was in their sights. It was time to go in for the kill.

Spongebobiscool: Time to go in for the kill. Fuck em up, dude.

Spongedude grabbed his surfboard and stood up as the hot rod sped up towards Impost. Rockabilly music was booming from the built in jukebox. Imposter SOF began to notice the light from the headlights that was becoming more strong as they approached from behin. He looked back and caught a glimpse of his attackers. He quickly dodge rolled out of the way right when Spongedude swung his board at him, looking for a one-hit kill.

SBRoxMan: You missed loser!

William Leonard: Get your aim right, brother!

Spongebobiscool: Fucking wimp.

Savannah Squarepants: *points at Imposter SOF* Look! He's over there, baby!

Spongedude: Ahahahahallllriiiight!

Spongebobiscool: *Revs up and peels out* Here we go!

They started speeding their way towards Imposter SOF again. His energy was depleting due to his wounds. He decided to take a stand and raised me mallet over his head, gathering whatever energy he could muster for one shot. Right as they were about to run right into him, he brought me mallet down on to the hood of the hot rod with a Seismic Slam, causing the vehicle to assplode. Debris was flying to the earth everywhere in a fiery shower. Before Impost could have any sort of celebration, five figures emerged from the fiery wreckage. Sbiscool and his boys survived relatively unscathed.

Imposter SOF: DUCK ME!!

Spongebobiscool: *pulls out his switchblade* You'll be fucked up in more ways than one once we're finished with ya. You see, you fucked up a little transaction I had going on at the bank. Now, I'm lookin for some backpay-

imposter SOF: WHATS YER OFFER?!!!?!?!!

Spongebobiscool: Shut up! Or should I say payback! Bag em and gag em, boys!

Imposter SOF: LETSA HO!!?!

Sbiscool's goons spread out along the battlefield, surrounding Imposter SOF. Spongedude came after him with his blunt surfboard and swung at him like crazy. Imposter SOF managed to block each hit single-handedly before banging him away with me mallet. SBRoxMan came and grabbed him from behind, locking him in a bear hug. William Leonard stepped in front of them with his pistol in hand, aiming it at Imposter SOF. He took a shot, but Impost moved his head away from the path of the bullet, which ended up hitting SBRox in the chest. The pain from the shot was enough to get him to let go of his grip over Imposter SOF. Leonard took another shot, but Imposter SOF managed to muster up the energy to leap into the air, evading the bullet which nailed SBRox again. Savannah fired her shots into the air in an attempt to kill Impost mid-flight but failed to hit him before having to reload. Imposter SOF attempted to bang Leonard with a Seismic Slam as he made his landing but Leonard quickly made it out of the way in time, leaving Impost nothing but solid ground. Spongedude came at him again. His surfboard locked with me mallet, creating sparks. SBRox came from behind and nailed Impost with a Super Sucker Punch, sending him flying a few hundred feet. Savannah took potshots again, with Imposter SOF dodge rolling out of the way. William Leonard leapt in front of Impost, and being a Golden Glove recipient, engaged Imposter SOF in hand to hand combat by disarming him of me Mallet of Doom™.

William Leonard: Put em up, pauper!

Leonard said before assuming his southpaw position. He gave Impost a few jabs and left hooks. Imposter SOF fought back with a five-hit combo, causing Leonard to bust his lip and left eyebrow. They connect with simultaneous blows, sending them both back flying. SBRox caught Imposter SOF and nailed him with a thunderous Spine Buster against the train tracks. Savannah approached Imposter SOF with a sinister smirk on her face, ready for the kill by cocking her Tommy Gun but before she could finish him off.

Spongebobiscool: HOLD IT!

Sbiscool shouted, approaching the battle-weary imposter. He took his switchblade out.

Spongebobiscool: He's mine. Pick em up!

SBRox brought Imposter SOF back to his feet and shoved him towards Sbiscool, who shanked him as he came. Sbiscool proceeded to beat Imposter SOF to a pulp.

Spongebobiscool: Any last words?

Imposter SOF: B-BRING MILK-K...FOR....ME LAWYER!!?!??!??!?!?????!!!!

Imposter SOF responded before uppercutting sbiscool into the air. He quickly leapt up into the air and grabbed sbiscool mid-air before piledriving him straight into the ground. Cool's goons were in shock before surrounding Imposter SOF in a square. They attempted to finish Impost off with a team attack, but out of nowhere, a clap was heard booming throughout the area. Imposter braced for the attack but it never came to be. The four goons were down on the ground for the count motionless. Imposter SOF was shocked for he had done nothing to harm them. He looked around the area and peered into the nearby train station. He caught a glimpse of a man in a long flowing trench coat and business suit. Imposter SOF rubbed his eyes to see if his eyes wasn't playing tricks on him, but when he looked back the man was not there. Imposter SOF retrieved me mallet before storming back home.

Meanwhile, back at the wrong side of the tracks.

Figure: So, how was your time? Delightful, I hope.

Spongebobiscool: *bandaged up* The fucking wimp blind sided me and wasted my boys by the time I came to!

Figure: Yes, quite. But perhaps there was more than what meets the eye.

Spongebobiscool: The fuck that's sposed to mean?

Figure: Nothing, at the moment.

Spongebobiscool: Ahhh you and your stinkin metaphors.


Next Time

*A clip is shown of Imposter SOF colliding with a masked man*

Narrator: Next Time! "The Face Of Evil! The Greatest In KORIDIE!!"

Episode IX: "The Face Of Evil! The Greatest In KORIDIE!!"


Imposter SOF went downtown one day to buy some Phineas & Ferb episode on DVD. He was feeling much since our last episode since he has healed up all his wounds. With me Mallet of Doom in hand, Imposter SOF felt invincible once more. With all the shit that's been going down the past couple of episodes, you would think Imposter SOF would expect the unexpected by now. As usual, he remains oblivious to the danger that is to come.

Imposter SOF: STEPPIN ON TEH BITCH!! DOO DOO DEE DOO DOO!! STEPPIN ON THE BEETCH!! DOOBA DEE DOO DOO!!!?!?

He took a left on the corner of Glove World and Sharing where he saw a police stand-off. Community Peace Keepers were lined up with their guns aiming toward the Sharing Time Luxury Condos, a place that houses most of the more well known VIPs of the community. Commanding the squad of peace keepers were their Moderator, Sponge Sebastian. Sebastian took notice of Imposter SOF and approached him.

Sponge Seb: Name and rank, soldier!

Imposter SOF: WHO U!!??!???? U ELASTIC!!??!?!!

Sponge Seb: It's Sponge Seb, dude. Anyways, I like your style kid-

Imposter SOF: IM OLDER THAN U!!!??!!??!

Sponge Seb: I like how you handled yourself with Teenj. You went in there and really took charge of things, like a real pro. Anyways, we have ourselves a little hostage situation going on here and negotiating is getting us nowhere because here in the Community we don't negotiate with these trolls.

Imposter SOF: TRILLS??!

Sponge Seb: You know, criminals and low lives. They can't find anything to do with their lives that's productive so they take it out and innocent people for the lulz. Anyways, we have reason to believe that that's what we're dealing with here. Seeing as how well you handled yourself with Teenj, I'm gonna throw you a bone here. My boys and I have the perimeter here safe and secured. SOF, I need your skillets here, bad. Especially if we want to save lives here.

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER IFFER!!?

Sponge Seb: You like Phineas & Ferb? How would you like a drawing of them and colored?

To Imposter SOF, that was payment enough. He clutched me mallet tightly and adjusted his hat Ash Ketchum-style before charging in.

Sponge Seb: Dumbass.

Imposter SOF entered the main lobby. The place seemed empty and cleared out. He approached the elevator and pressed the button to go up. He decided to scout the place out from the bottom up. The first floor led to Old Man Jenkins' condo. It was well-kept and had an indoor pool. It smelled like hemp. He had a weapons cache hidden in his closet. These weapons were the real deal, as if he was ready to go to war. There appeared to be nothing of interest here so Imposter SOF continued on his way. After going through a few floors and condos full of depressing things, he made his way up to Face's place.

Imposter SOF: ALL THAT DEPRESSING SKIT MAKES ME WANNA GO BANG MAHSELF!!

Face's room was a mess and all torn up, as if it was ran shackled. The pictures on the wall were all broken as well as all the mirrors in the place. This was a place of interest. When he left the room, Imposter SOF noticed something at the corner of his eye, down the hall. He turned to look and caught a glimpse of a casually dressed man in dark clothes and black leather jacket with a hood. He had a black bandana around his face, concealing it. When he noticed Imposter SOF, he put the hood of his jacket over his head and made his way up the stairwell. Imposter SOF gave chase. When he reached the floor above, he stormed into the condo and came upon a man who was rambling to himself. The room was filled with movies that nobody has heard of. The walls were covered in Butthole Surfers posters and memorabilia. The tv was on, playing Fritz the Cat.

Imposter SOF: WHO U!!??!? U PLASTIC!!?

Elastic: Elastic is the name actually.

Imposter SOF's eyes widened at Elastic's words. He was finally face to face with Elastic.

Elastic: You look familiar. I know you from somewhere?

Imposter SOF: YOUUUUUU!!

Suddenly, Elastic's bed came to life and started to attack Imposter SOF with its sheets.

Elastic: Death Bed! The bed that kills!

Elastic yelled out before focusing back to Fritz the Cat. Imposter SOF dodged the bed's whip attacks before banging me mallet against the mattress with his patented Seismic Slam. The bed shrieked in pain before it was engulfed a in black substance with a red glow. When it cleared out, the bed turned into the masked man that Imposter SOF was chasing from earlier. The stared intently at Impost as Elastic stared intently at the Fritz scene unfolding on his tv screen.

Imposter SOF: WHO U!!? U-

Elastic: I'm right here, you know.

Masked Man: They call me...Face.

Elastic: I could had guessed that. It's in the episode title.

Face: Look, I don't want any trouble. I have too much shit on my plate to deal with this shit right now!

Imposter SOF disregarded this and pounced at Face and swung at him with me mallet with all me might. Face dodged all his wings and transformed his right arm into a razor sharp sword blade.

Imposter SOF: YOU MALE ME LOOK BAD!!

They clashed with their respective weapons. With each time their weapons clashed, sparks were sent flying. They battled all throughout the room as Elastic continued to watch his movies. Imposter SOF tackled Face through the door and out of the room. Impost land on top of Face, who proceeded to kick him off and sent him flying away. Face kipped up and leapt into the air to impale Imposter SOF with his arm blade. Impost rolled outbid the way in the Nick of time. Face had his blade jammed into the floor, prompting to contort his limb, ripping it out of the ground and transforming his arm into a wrecking ball made out of the floor his arm was jammed in. He used it to nail Imposter SOF with a solid left hook that sent Imposter SOF flying up five whole floors. Face gave chase and caught him before ramming Imposter SOF against the wall.

Face: God damn it I warned you! I didn't want to do this, but you give me little to no choice.

He raised his boulder fist for the kill, but shots began firing through the windows, interrupting his death blow. The Peace Keepers outside had a good shot and took their chance. This prompted Face to drop Imposter SOF down and make a hasty escape. Imposter SOF grabbed me mallet and gave chase, tailing him down the hall and out the 10th story window. Face used his mysterious powers to enshroud himself in a dark black/red fog that allowed him to glide through the city and its skyscrapers. Imposter SOF had no such ability so he plummeted to the pavement, but was saved at the last moment by an invisible hand. Sponge Seb and his men fired their assault rifles into the air in an attempt to shoot Face down, but he eluded their gun fire and disappeared amongst the buildings.

Sponge Seb: Damn it all! How am I supposed to explain this to HQ? Alright boys, pack it up! We're going on a manhunt.

One of his men approached.

CDCB: How exactly are we supposed to explain this to the superiors, to the public? Surely there will be civil unrest. People would want answers.

Sponge Seb: Simple. We do what we always do. Pin the blame on WhaleBlubber.

CDCB: I see.

Sponge Seb went to go find Imposter SOF, who was still puzzled at who saved him from certain death. He looked around his surroundings and caught a glimpse of the trench coat man once again, staring at him from an alleyway. Imposter SOF grabbed me mallet and chased after him. The man turned down the alley and turned left at the corner. When Imposter SOF turned the corner and caught up, the man was gone. A hand patted his shoulder from behind.

Sponge Seb: Looks like our guy got away. Can't say I'm pleased at the moment but atleast you tried. I have to go report to HQ. Don't lose your head over this. We'll get Blubber eventually.

Imposter SOF: BUT HE SED HIS NAME WAD FAVE!!?

Sponge Seb: What?! That's just WB's mind games, that's how he plays with your head. Which is why I need to bring him to justice eventually. Just relax and give time to yourself to clear your thoughts. I'll get you that drawing I owe.

Sponge Seb said as he led Impost out of the alley. Imposter SOF took another glance behind to make sure no one was there. From the distance, on top of one of the buildings, the man stared down at Imposter SOF with his trenchcoat bellowing and flowing in the wind. A smirk curled upon his face as the scene faded to black.

Meanwhile, back at HQ.

Sponge Sebastian entered a huge office, littered with medical supplies. He approached a desk and took a seat in front of it.

Sponge Sebastian: Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick, we failed to capture the test subject.

Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick: I can't say that I'm pleased with these results, Seb. You promised me a body.

Sponge Sebastian: But the subject only escaped with help from someone else, sir.

Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick: *turns around on his chair* An accomplice, you say?Who?

Sponge Sebastian: Sponge Odd Fan, sir.

Mr. Dr. Professor: Impossible. He died a long time ago. Unless...Yes, yes. That must be it.

Sponge Sebastian: I'm afraid I'm not following.

Mr. Dr. Professor: 70s told me about this but I thought he was blabbing on once again about drivel. Perhaps he wasn't blabbing after all.

Sponge Sebastian: Sir?

From outside the office, the man in the trenchcoat looked on from the shadows of the hallway. He continued to listen in on their convo as the scene once again fades to black.


Next Time!!

*a clips is shown of Imposter SOF fighting off fire breathing gunmen*

Narrator: Next time! "Enter The Dragiiin! A Life Or Death Battle Commences!!"

Episode X: "Enter The Dragiiin! A Life Or Death Battle Commences!!"


One day, Imposter SOF went the Spin-Off Festival, which is pretty much the Community's version of Comic-Con. With me mallet in hand, Imposter SOF went cosplaying as Perch Perkins from Spin-Off Action! He came across a few interesting characters along the way, including people cosplaying as Spongepool, Skodwarde, Mud Man, No Name, 70s, Trollface Perkins, Doodle Bob, Tom & Lou, Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy among others.

Imposter SOF: PERCH PERKINS HERE REPORTING LOVE FROM MY BUTTHOLE!!

Imposter SOF said before banging every spin-off character in sight. But unbeknownst to Imposter SOF, an episode plot was unfolding. On the other side of the Festival festivities, a group of men were unloading some merchandise from a bunch of vans. The men were dressed in black suits with colorful undershirts ranging from blue, red, yellow, green, purple, orange etc. They were moving boxes from the vans and proceeded to spread th out throughout the festival. One of the men accidentally drops the boxes. The apparent leader of the group, cosplaying as Spongepool, turned to the grunt.

Fake Spongepool: Hey! Careful with the merchandise, fool! We ain't got much left!

Grunt: My apologies, Kizuna-San.

Ex Kizuna: Now pick that crap up and get it to its proper panel.

Grunt: Yes, Kizuna-San. Right away.

Ex Kizuna: These half-ass counterfeit spin-off souvenirs and memorabilia aren't going to deliver themselves, now move people!

The grunts all started moving the merchandise faster like clockwork. Imposter SOF went to a few Q&A sessions before stumbling upon the illegal operation. After catching sight of all the merchandise, Imposter SOF had to buy them.

Imposter SOF: WHATS YER OOFER!!?

Ex Kizuna turned his head towards Imposter SOF's direction, shocked that somebody stumbled upon his illegal operation.

Ex Kizuna: Who the hell are you?!

Ex asked before brandishing his katana.

Ex Kizuna: *says something in Asian*

The grunts stopped what they were doing and dropped their boxes. They assumed the dragon stance, preparing to fight off Imposter SOF.

Ex Kizuna: Die with some honor.

Ex said before leaping out at Imposter SOF, preparing to take a swing at him. Impost got out me mallet and countered Ex's attack with a hammer swing of his own, sending sparks flying into the air. They locked weapons. They stared each other down intently, struggling to get the upper hand over the other. They both kicked each other away, sending them both flying back. They rebounded and Ex launched another attack containing a flurry of sword thrusts. Imposter SOF used his cat-like reflexes to dodge each thrust and banged the katana down to the ground with me mallet following another failed thrust, trapping Kizuna's weapon under the might of his own. Ex tried his hardest to budge his katana free but it was no good.

Ex Kizuna: It appears I have underestimated you.

Imposter SOF: YOU MAEK MEH LOOK GOOD!!?!

Ex Kizuna: A mistake I shall never make again.

Ex said before superkicking Imposter SOF in the kisser and into a crowd of his grunts. They each took turns kicking Imposter SOF around, beating him up pretty bad. Suddenly, Ex beheaded all five grunts with a swing of his katana in a split second.

Ex Kizuna: ORE NODA!!

Ex shouted to his remaining subordinates. Imposter SOF retained me Mallet of Doom™ and proceeded to charge at Ex's remaining grunts. He threw me mallet at one of them using his powerful Hammer Throw, smashing one of the grunts away and leaving only four. They all leapt into the air, leaving Imposter SOF to dispatch them in aerial hand-to-hand combat. The four grunts flew at him with a flurry of punch and kick combos, but Impost managed to block them all with his lightning-quick defense. They all land at the same time. The four grunts began to envelope themselves in fire that was coming out of their mouths. They connected their flames togther, creating a ring of fire around Imposter SOF. The heat was blazing and they were taking their time to launch the attack. After about 5 minutes of charged they encircled their fiery ring around Imposter SOF, but he skyrocketed into the air, causing the grunts to hurt themselves with their own attack. Imposter SOF crushed one of them by landing on him with his Seismic Stomp, squashing him into mush. He charged at another and dukes a Superman Punch, instead leaping over the grunt and landing behind him, Superman Punching him through the back and out his chest, slowly killing the grunt. The other two launched a firebreath attack at Imposter SOF, combining their attacks into a super blast, but Imposter SOF simply charged through it relatively unscathed before emerging from the fire and the flames and proceeded to Superman Punch both of them through the chest. With the grunts finally dispatched, he turned his attention towards Ex Kizuna before retrieving me mallet.

Ex Kizuna: Strong, you are.

Imposter SOF: STRING YOU ATE!!?!??!?

Ex Kizuna: Unfortunately this must comebto an end. You are a worthy opponent.

Kizuna said before charging at SOF, but Ex juked him out and used firebreath on him. Imposter SOF blocke the flames with me mallet, absorbing the flames' heat. Ex attempted to slash with his Katana but Imposter SOF caught his arm with his bare hand and held it tight, twisting it a bit, causing Ex to grovel at the pain.

Imposter SOF: WE DONT WANT ANY!!?!?

Imposter SOF cried out before banging Ex's face in with me heated mallet. Ex fell back a few hundred feet with his face sizzling from the heated blow. Ex cried out in pain as he held on to the left side of his face. Another van came rolling on through to aid Kizuna in his escape. Ex took advantage of the oppurtunity and blind sided Imposter SOF, catching him with a long winded punch and kick 100-hit combo. He ended the combo with a hurracanarana, flying Impost off to the side and out of his way to the van. Ex quickly entered the vehicle and made a hasty escape. Imposter SOF recovered and attempted to give chase but Ex popped out from the back and fired more of his firebreath, throwing Imposter SOF off his trail and making the van go much faster, leaving Impost in his ashes. Defeated for the time being, Imposter SOF went back to take some of the counterfeit merchandise. Watching from the distance in the comfort of their empty Journey of Sebastion/Adventures in the Underground City panels were Metal Snake and Sabresponge.

Sabresponge: The imposter has grown stronger since our previous encounter.

Metal Snake: Truly a worthy adversary, indeed.

Sabrsponge: I never thought I'd ever see Ex Kizuna run away from a fight.

Metal Snake: No matter, Ex is not of our concern. I do feel for him about having to return to Dragiiin from a faillure like that, he's his problem not ours'.

Sabresponge: Imposter SOF has been making enemies with everyone recently.

Metal Snake: Let them all have their little squabbles, but at the end of the day, The Community will be ours' to command.

Sabresponge: To control.

Metal Snake: And that Mallet of Doom is the key to it all. Did you managed to record that new snake special on Nat Geo Wild?

Sabresponge: The first thing I did when I got up, my lord.

Metal Snake: Exxxxxcccellent.

From the distance, watching behind them was the man in the trenchcoat. He gave a little smirk before walking back into the shadows.

Meanwhile, at the Klonoa Thread...

Ex entered the premises, still holding the left side of his face. He approached a table where a casually dressed man was sitting.

Ex Kizuna: I have failed you Dragiiin. Someone ruined our operation.

Dragiiin: You think I don't already fucking know that. You should know about my low tolerance for failure by now. Your father and I have been in business together for years now. If you think I'm pissed just think about all the dishonor you have brought him and his family.

Ex Kizuna: I promise you, Dragiiin-sama, give me another chance. I have the scar to remind me of this failure and I shall make no such mistakes ever again.

Dragiiin: Ah get off your fucking knees you piece of crap. I would be a fool to terminate your employment, but fail me again, and I will certainly have to reconsider that no matter who your father may be. You understand the words coming out of my mouth?

Ex Kizuna: Fluently.

Dragiiin: Fluently what??

Ex Kizuna: Fluently, Dragiiin-sama.

Dragiiin: All I wanted to hear. Now get the fuck outta here.

Ex exited the scene with a look of disgust on his face as the scene fades to black.


Next Time

*a clip is shown of Imposter SOF fighting off Community Peace Keepers*

Narrator: Next time! "Deadly Run-In! An Ally In The Shadows!!"

Episode XI: "Deadly Run-In! An Ally In The Shadows!!"


Imposter SOF decided to hit up The Xat, one of The Community's most popping clubs. With me mallet in hand, he proceeded to bang everyone and everything in sight, prompting everybody to vacate the Xat. After spending about 15 minutes in the Xat alone, Sponge Sebastian came in with CDCB, his lieutenant.

Sponge Seb: Front and center, Odd Fan!

Imposter SOF: WHO U!!?! U ELASTIC?!!?!

Sponge Seb: don't you think we know each other long for you to just call me Seb?

Imposter SOF: WHUTS UR OFFER!!?

Sponge Seb: Straight to the point, huh? This here is my lieutenant, Cyrus Darius Cervantes Barrios, but you can just call him CDCB for short.

CDCB: The pleasure is all mine, SOF.

Sponge Seb: Anyways, we might have ourselves a good lead here, at Whale Blubber.

Imposter SOF: BLUBBER BERRY?!

Sponge Seb: Damn right, and I know how close you were to getting him the last time. That's I figured it's time for some payback, courtesy of yourself. An eyebfor an eye, right?

Imposter SOF: HES GONNA GIT GOT DAWG!!?!!!??!

CDCB: That's more like it.

Sponge Sebastian: Excellent, your assistance would be much appreciated here. Let's ride shall we? After you.

They all proceeded to exit the Xat and got in Sebastian's cruiser. They peeled off in a hurry.

Sponge Seb: Now this tip we have could very well bag us one of the Community's most wanted. I already have my brigade posted near the vicinity of our target's hideout.

CDCB: Pardon me for being out of the loop, but where is he holed up exactly?

Sponge Seb: He's manage to gain access to the junkyard of all places and has reportedly been using it as his secret "headquarters" whenever he's not out and about. The moderator posted there began detecting some strange disturbances all around the place, disturbances that gives us a reason to believe that it's our guy.

CDCB: What if it isn't him? What if it's someone entirely different?

Sponge Sebastian: Regardless, nobody is allowed access there besides trustees. We have reason to believe he gained access by force, an early indication that this is no trustee.

After about 15 minutes of cruising the Community, they finally pull up to the Junkyard. They exit the vehicle and approach Seb's brigade. They had the whole Junkyard surrounded. They were all heavily armed and ready to take out whatever lurked inside.

Sponge Seb: Status report, Lt. Steel.

Steel Sponge: Nothing really out of the ordinary, yet that is.

Sponge Seb: Excellent. Alright ladies! Get yourselves strapped up and heated. We're heading in there with everything we got. Just follow my lead and there should be no casualties. Steel!

Steel Sponge: Yes commander?

Sponge Seb: I want you and the GFX Squad to stay posted here. Guard the entrances. Make sure nobody gets in and make sure nobody gets out once we're in there.

Steel Sponge: Understood, commander.

Sponge Seb: SOF, just stick to me. If you see any sign of scum, don't hesitate to make your move. We'll be right with the entire way.

Imposter SOF: SUCK EET SUCK IT WET!!?!

Sponge Seb: CDCB, you're with me and my time. Alright ladies, let's move, move, move!

They arm themselves and head straight through the entrance and into the Junkyard. They scour the entire creation looking for their target, but with each sector they enter, they find no sign of life. They continue delving deeper and deeper into the junkyard, but their target continues to elude them.

Imposter SOF: HE MAKES US LOOK BAD!!?

Suddenly the sound of a gun cocking is heard from behind and Imposter SOF quickly spins around, only to see a Desert Eagle pointed straight at him. Holding the pistol was Sponge Sebastian. CDCB as well as the rest of his men pointed their assault rifles at Imposter SOF. Imposter SOF took a few steps back in shock. He clutched me mallet ever so tight.

Sponge Seb: All too easy.

Imposter SOF: WHUTS YER OFFER!!???!

Sponge Seb: Oh just shut the hell up you blathering piece of trash. You know exactly what you did, and now you're going to pay...dearly. It's a shame really. You had some real promise to make it far in this business. You had your uses, but unfortunatelybyoubhad to go and take things into your own hands. You really are a piece of work, for an imposter.

Imposter SOF seemed shock that Sebastian has this knowledge of him being an imposter

Sponge Sebastian: But I have my orders, I still have a mission to complete. I'm not going to let some scum like you plague our happy community any longer. By the way, 70s sends his regards.

They prepared to shoot away at Imposter SOF, but the magnet hovering above them suddenly activates, propping Seb and all his men into the air and onto the magnet, hanging from the guns they're holding.

Sponge Seb: What in the world?!

His men all managed to let go and drop down to the floor, leaving CDCB and Seb still hanging in the air.

Sponge Seb: Give him hell, boys!

The Peace Keepers all charged at Impost unarmed. Imposter SOF conjured up absurge of electrical energy he obtained from his fight with tvguy and focused it into me mallet.

Imposter SOF: FATHER TOR BLESS THIS WHORE!!?!???!

Imposter SOF shouted out before banging me mallet hard intothe ground, blasting the Peace Keepers with a large shockwave of energy, causing them all to assplode. CDCB and Sponge Sebastian dropped down to the ground.

CDCB: What do we do now, commander?

Sponge Sebastian: Be a soldier and serve your damn Community for once!

Sponge Seb replied before shoving CDCB out in front of him to confront Imposter SOF by himself. CDCB hesitated to make his move, knowing he would be no match for the Imposter.

Sponge Sebastian: What are you waiting for?! Do it!

CDCB assumed his stance but still hesitated to make his move.

Sponge Sebastian: As your commanding officer, I demand you! Do it!

CDCB bolted towards Imposter SOF, waving his fists in a flurry. Imposter SOF placed me mallet through the belt holster on his pants where his belt should be. He was going to take CDCB on in hand to hand combat. Impost blocked all of CDCB's strikes before nailing him with a Superman Punch to the gut, but CDCB's body armour prevented it from impaling him. CDCB slumped to the ground, knocked out from the pain of the blow. Sponge Sebastian now had to confront Imposter SOF alone.

Sponge Sebastian: Damn weakling!

Imposter SOF began to approach him.

Sponge Sebastian: Back off, Jack-Off! You wouldn't be able to take me on!

Steel and his GFX squad entered the scene.

Steel Sponge: Commander, we felt that surge coming from outside!

Sponge Sebastian: Stay away from the magnet! I want you to take him out now!

Steel and his men aimed their assault rifles at Imposter SOF, but suddenly the sound of a clap came booming throughout the area. Steel's men suddenly collaped to the ground. Steel's assault rifle dissolved like dust in the wind. Steel and Seb were perplexed. A figure came out from the darkness, it was the man in the trench coat. Imposter SOF wasn't hallucinating this time. This was all too real.

Steel & Seb: Clappy?!?!

Imposter SOF: SLAPPY!!??!!!?

Clappy: I will not stand by and watch you eliminate this man.

Sponge Seb: But Clappy, we have orders from 70s, himself. This...Imposter is wanted dead for the murder of tvguy. For impersonating a fellow user who is no longer with us. We can't just let him loose in the Community. He's rabid, murderous!

Clappy: This man has done nothing but good for the Community. He stopped the Sea Minors' reign of terror over the Community, he put an end to Teenj's murder spree of our guests, he busted a Shinya funded black market at the Spin-Off Festival, he almost single-handedly captured the renegade Face, he finally kit a fire under 70s' ass to take a more active role in Community affairs. This man is a blessing in disguise and let's be honest, tvguy was a bad influence on the Community in the first place.

Sponge Sebastian: You're speaking downright blasphemy!

Clappy: 70s only wants him out of the picture on his own accord. I can't stand by and see another good user fall because of those in power. Can't you see? We're becoming the very thing we hate, the reason why this Community was created in the first place.

Steel: Clappy, just don't.

Clappy: Make another move on him, and I'll be forced to take necessary action for the good of our Community.

Sponge Seb: You wouldn't.

Clappy: Try me.

Sponge Seb stared intently into Clappy's eyes and could tell he was not playing around. Knowing he would be outmatched by Clappy's superiority, he stood down, gesturing for Steel to do the same.

Sponge Seb: 70s won't be happy about this.

Clappy: Then tell him to take it up with me personally.

Clappy suddenly disappeared, taking Imposter SOF with him. Seb and Steel checked up on their downed comrades.

Meanwhile, at Clappy's Sharing Times Condo...

Imposter SOF: WHO YOU!!? YOU ELASTIC!!?

Clappy: Far from that. I know this may be difficult for you to comprehend, seeing the state you're currently in, but my name is Clapmaster. You can call me Clappy for short. I am an administrator here for the Community. I can help you with your current condition. I can help you find the answers that you seek. I know who you are, Imposter SOF. I know that you are an indeed an imposter user. I know that you were created with a purpose, the purpose being unknown, even to me. I do not know who created you, but I have a lead. In order to help you, I need you to help me help you. In your current state, you are nothing but a mindless killing machine that speaks in unintelligible banter. I can help you achieve a... higher level of capability and comprhension. I must warn you that I have not performed this procedure beforehand but I have reason to believe that it will suffice. It will be a painful process and it could take you a whole to recuperate but in the end, it will all be worth it. Questions?Comments? Concerns?

Imposter SOF: I-

Before he could even say a word, Clappy planted his hand deep into Imposter SOF's sternum, emanating a mysterious aura and causing Impost great pain. Imposter SOF proceeded to scream in agony as the scene fades to black.


Next Time

*a clipnis shown of Clappy fighting off assailants alongside Imposter SOF*

Narrator: Next Time! "Awake, Imposter SOF! Clappy's Covert Operations!!"

I thought I would hate this lit., but I LOVE it! My chapter was awesome, just sayin xP Hope I show up again soon!

I thank you for the support, Kizuna-San. I must admit, I originally planned this to be just a downright lulzfest, hence the ridiculousness of the first few chapters but the potential of this got to me and I took a lot more srsly as a legit lit. Your character will show up again before the season ends.

This is fucking awesome. I lol'd hard, which only Patrick's Big Break has done to me before. Going back to read previous episodes now, but I seriously can't wait for the next one!

Episode XII: "Awake, Imposter SOF! Clappy's Covert Operations"


The scene opens up to a shot of Imposter SOF, shuffling around in a bed before finally waking up in his own bed. He takes his time rubbing his head and feeling his cheat where Clappy planted his hand. Impost started to breathe heavily, believing that everything that has transpired was just a dream.

Imposter SOF: I guss it was all jist a dream-

imposter SOF said to himself before slapping his mouth shut, shocked at his much more intelligible and sophisticated verbal skills.

Imposter SOF: What the...duck..?

Clappy: Ah, you've finally woken up.

Clappy said as he came through Imposter SOF's bedroom door. He stood at Impost's bedside before placing a hand on his chest, which Imposter SOF quickly swatted away.

Clappy: This may seem confusing to hear at first, but in time I trust that you will be able to comprhend it all fully. You have been in a coma for the past week and half. It appears the procedure I performed took a large toll on your body both physically and mentally. If I were a doctor, I would say that the procedure was a modest success. From what I heard, your speech has definitely improved but the newbness still show from here and there. Just a minor mishap that can be worked on in time. Your posting capabilities have been heightened exponentially. No longer are you just some mindless noon machine. I also hid your IP address so that no one, not even us Admins will be able to pinpoint your location.

Imposter SOF: Wait, you managed to hide my IP assress?

Clappy: Something new I picked up from the orient. Highly classified shit. Let's get past all the formalities now. You have a heightened sense of awareness and now is as good a time as ever to try and get some answers out of you, so consider this an official interrogation.

Imposter SOF: Interrogation? What for?!

Clappy: If I am to help you, you have to help me help you. I performed the whole procedure for just that. Now, what is your name?

Imposter SOF: My name's Sponge Oddfan, k? What does this have to do with anything?!

Clappy: Do you have any idea as to who created you?

Imposter SOF: What? No, I wasn't created by anuboddy!

Clappy: Do you have a purpose in life here at the Community?

Imposter SOF: Just bang things with me mallet. No harm in that right?

Clappy: *sighs* Look, this may be hard for you to comprehend, but you're not who you think you are.

Imposter SOF: Then who am I? Am I Plastic??

Clappy: No, I'm afraid that isn't the case neither. You're...an imposter, SOF.

Imposter SOF: An...imposter? No, not possible.

Clappy: The facts are, the SOF we have all come to have known and loved is no longer with us. He was murdered in cold blood. There is no plausible way he would be able to come back to life, unless someone of very high power and authority seen it fit. The only ones of performing such a task would be Admins, but I did research and dug up some information. According to the records I have read, no admin including myself have performed such a deed. I even dug up the thread from deepest recesses of the grave and SOF's body was still there in tact.

Imposter SOF: This is too focking surreal.

Imposter SOF let out before plopping his head back on his pillow.

Clappy: I performed some background checks on you and everything turned up inconclusive. I will continue to make some inquiries, but with the lack of proper information, I can't say that we'll get all the answers we want.

Imposter SOF: I cant get fuckin over it. Youre sayin Im jut a nobody, not even an actual user.

Clappy: Theoretically, yes. You just popped up from out of nowhere, left to fend for your own and go about things on pure insinct alone. You truly are a piece of work, Imposter SOF.

Imposter SOF: Imposter SOF? Thats my name now??

Clappy: Well, for lack of a better term. Regardless, this is a matter that must be looked into. Something like this should not just be ignored. There has to be an ulterior motive for your existence. The future of the Community could very well be in jeopardy if we don't crack down on this now.

Suddenly, an explosion came from downstairs.

Imposter SOF: What the fuck was that?

Clappy: No good. We need to get out of here, now-

Before Clappy could do anything, one of 70s Padaleckis came charging through the wall and tackled Clappy down to the floor. More Padalecki Mercenaries came flying through the room window and from under the floor. Clappy struggled gainst the mercenary that was already attacking him, but ge managed to elbow the Padalecki away before placing his hand on his forehead, causing the mercenary's head to melt away. Imposter SOF kipped up off his bed before being surrounded by the Padaleckis. Imposter SOF was surrounded.

Clappy: Shield your eyes!

Clappy yelled out. Imposter SOF proceeded to shut his eyes and placed a hand on it for good measure. The Padalecki shifted their attention towards Clappy, who proceeded to shoot out a bright light of energy from his hand that engulfed the entire house, permabanning all the mercenaries in sight and turning them all into a bloody mess on the floor. Imposter SOF opened his eyes and discovered that he was still alive and in tact.

Clappy: It appears 70s is sending out his best guys. How did he manage to find us here, though??

Imposter SOF: Perhaps you shouldve picked out a better hiding place, I mean, this is my ficking house after all.

Clappy: Damn it, you're right.

Imposter SOF: How about you beam us outta here.

Clappy: That last attack took a lot more out of me than expected. I should be able to get us out of here if given the time.

More of 79s elite mercenary team came bursting through the house.

Imposter SOF: I don't think well have mich tiem left. Where's me mallet at?

Clappy: Right here.

Clappy took it out from the inside of his trench coat and handed it to Imposter SOF.

Clappy: I kept it safe in order to keep it out of the wrong hands.

Imposter SOF: Alright boys, we dont want any!! OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!

Imposter SOF cried out as he leapt into the air before banging me mallet against the floor, sending the Padaleckis flying into the air from the shockwave. Imposter SOF rocketjumped into the air, proceeding to drop them all with a mid-air whack a mole technique, planting them all back into the ground, dispatching them off.

Clappy: Not bad, for an imposter noob.

Imposter SOF: Ah duck off.

Suddenly, more mercenaries came crashing through the roof. Imposter SOF and Clappy barely managing to get out of the way as they came crashing through. There were about six Padaleckis and they all went on the attack. Three went after Clappy while the other three duked it out with Imposter SOF. Clappy managed to block all three Padaleckis' attacks before spreading his arms out, creating a strong gust of wind that sent all three of them flying away. Clappy teleported behind one, clapping his hands against the mercenary's head, crushing it flat. He teleported behind the other one, kicking him up through the roof before thrusting two fingers into the air, causing the Padalecki to assplode. The third can at him from behind, blindsiding Clappy. Imposter SOF was on a receiving end of a thirty-hit combo from his three Padaleckis. He somehow managed to each of their final blows all at once his arms and left leg before creating an electrical aura around himself, giving each Padalecki an Aftershock before nailling each of them with a Triple Dragon Kick that sends them flying. The Padaleckis each land on their feet, but Imposter SOF gave chase and impaled one of them with a Superman Punch up the ass just as they landed. The other two attacked Impost with a flurry of combos, but he managed to block each of their blows. Imposter SOF proceeded to fight both of them back with combos of his own. He knocked both of them back into submissions before cutting one in half down the middle with and Airbending Slice, by waving his arm down in the air, creating a strong gust of wind capable of performing the fatal attack. Impost to me mallet and banged it against the floor, creating a heat seeking shockwave that follows the last Padalecki until it finally makes contact, causing the mercenary to assplode as well. Clappy continued to struggle against his last Padalecki. The Padalecki went for a roundhouse kick but Clappy caught his leg before it could do damage, seeing Imposter SOF is in the clear. He proceeded to throw the mercenary towards Imposter SOF, who in turn banged the mercenary far out into the air with me mallet, sending him flying to the other end of the Community.

Clappy: *panting* Youre good...real good.

Imposter SOF: Teh vest.

Clappy: We must make haste.

Clappy said before putting a hand on Impost's shoulder, whisking them both away to a different location.

Meanwhile, on the wrong side of the tracks.

Figure: It appears somebody has hacked into Imposter SOF. They messed with his processes and functions. God damn it.

Spongebobiscool: Who the hell could have the juice to pull that off?

Figure: Someone powerful, very powerful. Someone along the lines of an Admin.

Spongebobiscool: A fucking Admin is on our tail fin now?!

Figure: I can only surmise that this would be the person who also wasted your boys during your battle with Imposter SOF.

Spongebobiscool: Makes sense I supposed but what the fuck are we suppose to do now?! We can't take on a damn Admin!

Figure: We can't afford to have him find out our connection to Imposter SOF. I believe it's time to pull the plug on my little experiment. Spongebobiscool, I want you to gther more if your boys and take Imposter SOF out of comission...permanently.

Spongebobiscool: Hahaha! It'll be my pleasure.

Figure: And save the Admin for me.

The scene then faded out to black.


Next Time

*a clips is shown of Imposter SOF fighting off more greasers*

Narrator: Next time! "Two-Bit Hit! A Battle Of Now Or Never!!"

Episode XIII: "Two-Bit Hit! A Battle Of Now Or Never!!"


The scene opens up to a shot of Clappy and Imposter SOF whisking themselves into The Xat, the most happening night club in The Community. Clappy whisked them there following the events of the previous episode. The Xat was pretty crowded.

Imposter SOF: Where we at?

Clappy: This is the Xat. It's already been established that this is the most happening club around.

Imposter SOF: Well what wendoingbhere then?

Clappy: I'm afraid I have some business to conduct in the Admin Control Panel.

Imposter SOF: Well whisk us on over then, k?

Clappy: I'm afraid I can't. The Admin Control Panel is highly restricted to regular users, even Moderators are restricted to their own Control Panel. Allowing a regular user access would bring about dire consequences.

Imposter SOF: Well make an Admin, k?

Clappy: I can't just make anybody an Admin without the approval of Staff. That would bring about even more dire consequences. Just stay here and keep to the shadows. Mind your own business and don't bring any unnecessary attention to yourself. Most people here usually stays out of your business unless you make it there business.

Imposter SOF: And what might you be doing?

Clappy: I'll be making some inquiries and try to get to the bottom of this. The longer this continues to go on, it would potentially be catastrophic to The Community. You have made quite a few enemies here during your brief existence here. 70s is currently the Head Admin. Once you cross him, you're fucked for life, quite frankly. You also did kill Tvguy, 70s apprentice, so I am not envious of your situation.

Imposter SOF: Alright I get the piont.

Clappy: I will be back as soon as I possibly can. Don't go causing trouble.

And with that, Clappy whisked himself away and out of sight. Imposter SOF wandered the Xat aimlessly, trying to resist the urge to bang everybody in sight.

Meanwhile, in the PC section of the Xat...

Ex Kizuna was watching some Mega Man walkthroughs with his cronies. They were all getting pretty high on ecstacy. Ex had bandages covering the left side of his face from his previous fight with Imposter SOF.

Ex Kizuna: This is some good shit. I told you dumbasses that you were supposed to shoot Robotnik.

Goon 1: Screw you, Ex!

Ex Kizuna: Hahaha! Just lay it down and spread your shit.

The Goon took a few Xat Coins out of his pocket and laid it down on the table in the middle of the room.

Goon 1: Thats some bullshit, man.

Goon 2: Lets watch something more worthwhile for once.

Ex Kizuna: Somebody put on some MvC 3. I bet all my coins on Wolverine.

Goon 1: You're fucking on.

Meanwhile, outside The Xat...

A hot rod is shown pulling up outside carrying about five people. Sbiscool is shown to be the driver. He was accompanied by SBRoxMan, Spongedude, Savannahsquarepants, and William Leonard.

Sbiscool: You wimps listen up. You guys may not be the real deal but the boss designed yous guys to be the genuine article. Seeing as how much of a fucking dud SOF turned out, yous imposters better not fuck shit up. We just roll up in there, find Imposter SOF and we waste em. Ya got it?

Imposter gang: Understood.

Sbiscool: Lets rock and roll.

Back inside the Xat, Imposter SOF was banging some patrons with me mallet. He was creating quite the scene, causing some of the Xat's to come and intervene but they got banged for their troubles. One of the security members managed to escape and got on his ear piece.

Security: Boss, we have some trouble out here!

Ex Kizuna: Well go deal with it, cur! Must I hold your hand on the job?

Security: But he's hitting everybody in sight with this big, old sledgehammer-looking blunt object.

Ex Kizuna:...Leave it to me. I shall deal with him...personally.

Imposter SOF was trying to maintain his composure, but the urge to bang was too much. Suddenly, shot were heard blazing into the air. Everybody stopped what they were talking about and shifted their attention towards the shooting. Imposter SOF turned around to see a familiar face.

Sbiscool: Imposter SOF, you sunnabitch! Show yourself and take your lickins like a real man!

Imposter SOF: Ah shot.

Imposter SOF tried to make a hasty escape through the other side, but more shots were head coming from that direction. Imposter SOF saw yet another familiar face.

Ex Kizuna: Show yourself, Oddfan-San! Try to die with some honor!

Imposter SOF: Damn it.

Impost tried to make his move but caught the eyes of both his assailants.

Sbiscool & Ex Kizuna: I found you!

They motioned for their respective goons to aim and take fire. Sbiscool's gang fired off their Tommy Guns while Ex's subordinates shot off their Uzis. Imposter SOF ran through the crowd and dodged the bullets, causing many casualties in the process. The gangs stopped and held their fire upon noticing that they were both shooting at the same person.

Ex Kizuna: I don't know who those throwbacks think they are, but this prize is mine. Deal with them, leave Odd Ball to me.

Ex ordered to his subordinates before making his move.

Sbiscool: Who the fuck are these wannabes sposed to be? Waste em all, but remember, that imposter is mine!

Sbiscool barked out before pushing his way through the crowd and towards Imposter SOF. Sbiscool and Ex's gangs engaged each other in mortal combat while Sbiscool and Ex went after their target. Ex brandished his katana while Sbiscool took out his switchblade. Imposter SOF took me mallet and banged it against the floor, creating a shockwave that sends both attackers into the air. Imposter SOF leapt into the air and decided to assault sbiscool, seeing him as the weakest of the two assailants. Imposter SOF proceeded to nail Sbiscool with a mid-air Seismic Slam, sending him crashing into the ground. Imposter SOF nailed him with another Seismic Slam as he landed, pounding cool even deeper into the ground. Ex suddenly came and hit Impost with a Missle Dropkick from behind, sending him flying across the room. Sbiscool started to stir up but Ex knocked him back down with a Roundhouse Kick.

Ex Kizuna: ORE NODA!!!

Ex Kizuna shouted out before flipping towards a down and out Imposter SOF. Impost seen him coming so he kipped himself up and blocked a sword thrust with me mallet. Their weapons clashed, causing sparks to go flying with every connected hit. Ex went for a horizontal slash, but Imposter SOF managed to duck it and proceeded to hit Ex with a Lightning Uppercut, sending him flying into the air. Before Impost could make another move, Sbiscool came and knocked him down with his patented Football Tackle. He had Imposter SOF pinned down to the floor. Sbiscool went for his switchblade once again before taking it to Imposter SOF's neck.

Sbiscool: Any last words, you fake ass bitch?

Imposter SOF: Who-who are you? You-you Elastic?!

Sbiscool: So close, yet so wrong. I'm really gonna enjoy skinning your ass alive. Now I'm gonna take it outta yo hide.

Ex grabbed Sbiscool from behind and brought him up to his feet before nailing him with a 10-hit combo, knocking him out to the side.

Ex Kizuna: If anybody deserves the right to kill this man, it shall be me and me alone!

Ex took his blade and brought it down on Imposter SOF, who managed to roll out of the way, leaving Ex's blade to be stuck in the floor.

Ex: *says something in Asian*

Imposter SOF: Nevar!

Imposter SOF cried before engaging Ex in hand to hand combat. Ex managed to block each of Impost's attacks before shifting the momentum to his side, attacking Imposter SOF with a fury attack of his own. They were evenly matched and their fight was getting them nowhere. Imposter SOF grabbed me mallet and used it to nail Ex with a Hammer Shot to the gut, bringing Kizuna to his knees. Imposter SOF raised me mallet into the air, prepared to smash Ex's head in but stopped at the last second. Imposter SOF lowered me mallet, not wanting to be a mindless killing machine anymore. Ex looked up at him with anger in his eyes and blood oozing out of his mouth.

Ex Kizuna: What are you waiting for? Do it and put me out of my misery already! I have brought enough dishonor to my family! It is the honorable thing for you to do.

Imposter SOF: No. You and me it all ends here ok? Were furnished.

Ex Kizuna: Hmph. How noble...nobility is sorely overrated.

Ex said before blasting out some of his fire breath right into Imposter SOF's face, sending him back in pain. Ex got back up to his feet to take advantage of the situation, but Sbiscool crawls up and gives him a low blow from behind before decking Ex's clock out with a vicious Haymaker. Imposter SOF recuperated a bit from Ex's last attack but was met with a Haymaker as well. Sbiscool took a 9mm pistol out from his pocket and aimed it straight at Imposter SOF's face.

Sbiscool: You are so fuckin dead! You're dead! You and that fairy ass admin you've been palling around with! You're dead!

Imposter SOF: What's your seal guy? Whats your beef wit me?!

Sbiscool: You were a bad investment on my part. You and that lameass fuck who spawned you! Hell, once things boil over between him and that admin who's ass you've been kissing, I'll take pleasure in wasting that shady bitch myself. I've lost too much bread over this and I deserve some god damn compensation! Your body and his will do me just fine.

Imposter SOF: You know who crated me?

Sbiscool: You won't be alive long enough to find out.

He cocked back his gun and was ready to go for the kill, but a stray kunai came from out of nowhere and stabbed him right in the wrist, knocking the gun out of hand right when he took the shot.

Sbiscool: AAAAAAAHHHHHHOOOAH!

Sbiscool cried out in agony as he dropped down to his knees. Imposter SOF looked towards the direction that the kunai came and saw that it came from Ex, who was back on his feet. Ex charged at Imposter SOF, who kipped back up and charged up a final attack, summoning a golden aura around him.

Imposter SOF: Im sorry but you forced mento do this.

Right as Ex went for another Missle Dropkick, Impost countered with his trademark Phoenix God Fist, nailing him between the legs, right on the testicles. The impact sent Ex flying back in agony and straight into a wall.

Imposter SOF: *rubs hands together* Gotcha!

Sbiscool proceeded to nail Impost with a low blow from behind, bringing him to his knees. Cool took out his trusty switchblade again and picked up Impost's head, taking him him to his blade.

Sbiscool: Now that Samurai Jack there is outta the way, I can finally savor this moment of triumph.

Suddenly a clap is heard booming throughout the Xat. Ex's and Sb's gunfighting goons all fell to the ground, dead. Sbiscool looked around in disbelief.

Clappy: Let the imposter go.

Sbiscool turned around to see Clappy, standing and glaring at him, challenging Sbiscool to go through with killing Imposter SOF.

Sbiscool: Aw shit.

Imposter SOF decided to capitalize on this distraction and proceeded to impale Sbiscool through the chest with a Superman Punch, killing him slowly.

Imposter SOF: *grabs Sbiscool by the collar of his leather jacket* Who crated me?! Tell me damn it!

Sbiscool: Hmph...wouldn't you-you l-like to kn-know.

Cool said before spitting blood at Impost's face before slumping to the ground.

Clappy: That probably wasn't the smartest thing to do.

Imposter SOF: Who the hell was he?

Clappy: He goes by the name, Spongebobiscool. He's a small-time poster who wanted to start up his own criminal empire here in The Community. We never really considered him a threat, but with the circumstances now, I have reason to believe that we should had taken him more seriously.

Imposter SOF: He knew who created me.

Clappy: Which is more than enough incentive to look into this matter a lot more thoroughly. Spongebobiscool defintely would not had been able to go about all this allon his own. Someone must have given him the orders. Someone else is pulling the strings.

Imposter SOF: Whoever may had made me?

Clappy: Quite possibly. If anything he said has any substance to it.

Imposter SOF: Found out anything new?

Clappy: I ran more checks and came up with nothing, but I have even more startling news.

Imposter SOF: Wat?

Clappy: It appears 70s has decided to take some action against us, moreso me. I'm slowly being cut off from power.

Imposter SOF: Meaning?

Clappy: I could lose my adminship, become a moderator, lose my modship before finally becoming a regular user.

Imposter SOF: Well thats just fuckin comforting.

Clappy: It shouldn't be, you should be worried.

Imposter SOF: *facepalms* Hows about you beam us outta here before anything else bad happens here, k?

Clappy: I know just the place.

Clappy grabs hold of Imposter SOF's shoulder before whisking them off out of the Xat. The Xat was nearly empty after the fight was over. Ex started stirring before finally waking up to see Sbiscool's corpse along with the bodies of each of their gangs.

Ex Kizuna: What witchcraft is this?

Suddenly, someone else came logging into the Xat. He was dressed up in a fur coat, wearing a fancy suit underneath. He was accompanied by two other men. Ex appeared to be familiar with this stranger as he quickly bowed his head before him.

Ex Kizuna: *bows* Father! I did not kno-

Ex's Father: Silence. It sickens me to come here and see that the place is dead and in disarray with you at the forefront of it. I am ashamed to hear you call me "father".

Ex Kizuna:...

Ex's Father: Dragiiin brought your failure at the Spin-Off Festival to my attention. You have cost me money, Ex.

Ex Kizuna: But it wasn't entirely my fault. That wretched peasant is to blame!

Ex's Father: Enough excuses!! You were brought up a hell of a lot better than this, Ex! You were raised to be an elite warrior of an elite class, yet you have been made a fool of by some peasant not just once, but apparently twice! You have brought much dishonor to our family, you have brought much dishonor to me! You are the reason why I must reach out to resources from outside organizations in order to be relevant anymore anywhere!

Dragiiin: Am I interrupting something here?

They all turn towards the entrance to see Dragiiin, accompanied by his own gang.

Dragiiin: Because I'm sensing fail and disappointment. Ah, Edo Master Chaos! How the fuck are ya? I wasn't aware that you were attending the party.

Edo: We were just discussing business.

Dragiiin: Yes, quite. The place is a fucking mess. I hope you all didn't start the party without me.

Edo: There will be no more parties here.

Dragiiin: Real fucking shame.

Edo: My idiot subordinate here has once again failed to do anything right.

Ex Kizuna: I did not expect that peasant to show his face here. He caught me off guard.

Edo: Enough excuses.

Dragiiin: You really should listen to your elders, Ex. It's becoming more and more apparent how worthless you're becoming to our operations. We might as well bring in your much more capable older brother, Shinya. At least he knows how to get the fucking job done and done right.

Edo: That would not be such a bad idea. Shinya is more of a son than this wretch ever will be.

Ex:...

Dragiiin: You can consider yourself dismissed, junior, The adults have business to PC about.

Ex: Yes, certainly...

Ex got up off his knees and left the Xat in disgrace. Dragiiin looks around the carnage that took place and notices Spongebobiscool's dead body.

Dragiiin: Intriguing.

Meanwhile, at the wrong side of the tracks...

The Figure is pacing around, mumbling as if he's talking to someone.

The Figure: Spongebobiscool has met an untimely demise. I am now left with not much hands to do the handiwork for us...Yes, the imposter has exceeded even my expectations but now he is becoming much more of a threat to me, even you now that the admin has intervened...He interfered in the imposter's frequencies. It's beyond even my control...I know you are becoming impatient but I assure you, your return is is INEVITABLE


Next Time

*a clip is shown of Imposter SOF and Clappy fighting off assailants in Glove World*

Narrator: Next time! "Desperate Dudes! The Heat Is Closing In!"


I apologize for being late on this. I hope my loyal fans can find it in their hearts to forgive me.

That was awesome!

Moarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Episode XIV: "Desperate Dudes! The Heat Is Closing In!"


Clappy and Imposter SOF find themselves at the Clap Mart, located in the heart of the Glove World commercial district.

Imposter SOF: Were we at?

Clappy: We are currently in Clap Mart, located in the heart of the Glove World commercial district. I'm the sole proprieter of this business.

Imposter SOF: You run your own store here?

Clappy: Yes, along with a good majority of The Community's residents. It really helps stimulate our economy, especially during these rough economic times.

Imposter SOF: What we doing here exactly?

Clappy: You're here to hide. It's not safe for you to go parading around like you usually. You have made too much enemies to take that risk.

Imposter SOF: Alright but how about you start giving me some answers for once instead of just domineering my life. Who the hell was that other guy trying to kill with that big ass sword? That Asian white boy?

Clappy: *sighs* His name is Ex Kizuna. He was once a respected Admin for the Community. A lot of respected him and he respected a lot of people. Unfortunately, he hit some rough times. We tried to help him through it, but it wasn't enough. He soon resigned from his position and left the Community all together. What we didn't know was just how deep the shit he was in really was. Ex was at odds with his father for much of his run as Admin. Ex's father never really approved of Ex and his lifestyle as an Admin, especially when having a son in power doesn't give you any pull or influence since Ex was quite adamant about not using his power to strengthen his father's criminal organization. Apparently, Ex fell back into the family business. I only wish that we did more to prevent it from happening.

Imposter SOF: Who's Ex's father.

Clappy: Edmasterchaos, he too was well respected amongst those in the Community even before the Community was even conceived. Back during a time when things were a lot more simpler. When the Community was created and people fled here, he was one of the few who chose not flee, he decided to remain put in that Mocvt wasteland. We soon lost touch with him, but we never found out the real reason he stayed until months later. He had set himself up an empire that specialized in smuggling people and merchandise over to Mocvt and vice versa in order to increase activity and reap in the benefits. We decided to leave him be at that, but attempts were made at trying to set up a branch here but he never really followed through with each attempt made. I was merely a regular user then, but I have reason to believe that Ex was the one who denied his advances. Now, it appears that with Ex finally where he wants him, Edo is making another attempt to set up a smuggling ring.

Imposter SOF: Thats some deep shit.

Clappy: And it will only grow deeper if we don't do anything about it. That combined with your own personal drama that is happening at the moment, the Community could very well descend deeper into a darkness that we just might not be able to raise ourselves out of. Which is why I have been acting out of my own discretion and not the orders of 70s and the staff.

Imposter SOF: Whats up with the staff, anyway? Why aren't they taking any sort of real action here? Why is Edo just slipping on through the cracks?

Clappy: Sadly, even I don't know. Whenever we're at staff meetings, I bring these issues but they just brush it aside. I fear my brothers are simply turning a blind eye towards everything that's happening. I seem to be the only one who really gives a damn anymore. Things around here used to run a lot more smoothly during the Community's hay day. Back when things were simpler and we were just a tight-knit community brought together by a common cause and a similar passion. Back when Terminoob held the reigns and the staff were kept in line. A time where corruption was just a far cry.

Imposter SOF: Eruption?

Clappy: I can't see it as being anything else. My brothers all seem to have their own agenda of how the place should be rub. Some has even threatened 70s position as Head Admin. We are currently living in a dog eat world where only the strongest will prevail. The proof is everywhere, and now it has all come to this.

Imposter SOF: You speek as if we have already loss.

Clappy: No, I am merely speaking the truth. But enough about that. We have much more pressing matters on our hands, you, who you are, where you came from, who created you, and for what purpose.

Imposter SOF: And ho we supposed to find all that out. We're kinda back to square one here.

Clappy: We make inquiries, investigate.

Suddenly, sirens are heard buzzing from outside Clap Mart.

Imposter SOF & Clappy: Ah shit.

Imposter SOF: How the hell did they find us here?!

Clappy: I'm afraid they tracked me here.

Imposter SOF: Well that just helps out our current situation!

Suddenly, two SBC Peace Keepers came busting through the back door. They charged up towards Imposter SOF and Clappy in order to blindside them, but Clappy managed to dodge both of their attacks simultaneously. Imposter SOF nailed one in the gut with a Superman Punch while Clappy backhanded the other, sending him flying away. More sirens were heard from outside.

Sponge Sebastian: *on megaphone* Imposter SOF and Clappy! Come out quietly or we'll be forced to push through by force! Make this easy for yourselves, you both should have seen this coming!

Imposter SOF and Clappy turn to look towards each other, trying to come up with a strategy as the scene fades to black.

Meanwhile, at the Xat.

Dragiiin and Edo were still discussing business when one of their subordinates came and interrupted their conversation.

Goon: Sirs we-

Dragiiin: This better be fucking good or else this is gonna be a very short conversation. Now spill it.

Goon: The Peace Keepers are swarming into the Glove World district.

Edo: This is an outrage!

Dragiiin: What for?

Goon: We do not know.

Edo: Dragiiin, we can not afford another crackdown.

Dragiiin: You're as right as fucking ever. We can't afford another crackdown. Which is why I want you and your boys to drop a thread bomb over and waste that place out flat.

Edo: But that will destroy our merchandise.

Dragiiin: Better than having them confiscated and traced back to us.

Edo: I am not sure about this.

Dragiiin: Don't get your fucking panties in a twist. We already have tons more shipments coming in. It can easily be compensated.

Edo:...So be it. You know what must be done.

Goon: Certainly, Chaos-sama.

Dragiiin: Everything burns.


Next Time

*a clip is shown of the Glove World district in flames. Imposter SOF and Clappy are shown fighting Steel and Sponge Seb*

Narrator: Next time! "The Heat Is On! Escape The Fuzz!!"

More of a story-oriented episode. The crazy action returns next time, on Post Fiction!

In case y'all didn't notice on the first page, major props to Jjs for making an offcial banner for Post Fiction. Jjs be praised!!

Episode XV: "The Heat Is On! Escape The Fuzz!!"


The scene opens up to a shot of Clap Mart, surrounded by SBC officers.

Sponge Seb: *on megaphone* You two should have seen this coming! So make this all easy on yourselves and just give up!

Imposter SOF: How about you whisk us up outta here, k?

Clappy: I'm afraid I can't.

Imposter SOF: Why the fuck not?!

Clappy: I told you, I'm being cut off from power as an Admin. It's really taking it's toll on my power reserves at the moment. I don't even have enough power to perform The Death Clap.

Imposter SOF: Well that's just perfect.

Clappy: It shouldn't be, you should be worried as hell.

Imposter SOF: *facepalms* What do you suggist we do then?

Clappy: At least try and fight our way out of here. Seems like the most logical thing to do. Unless, of course, you want us to drop our flags and turn ourselves in?

Imposter SOF: Nevar!

Clappy: That's the spirit.

Meanwhile, around the corner...

Edo's men are seen cruising around in fish vans, planting thread bombs all around the Glove World commercial district. One of the goons noticed that the Peace Keepers were surrounding Clap Mart.

Goon 1: The Peace Keepers are only crowding around that Clap Mart over there. I don't think we loaded off any merchandise there, I mean, it's an admin run store.

Goon 2: Do you dare question Master Chaos' motives? Do you want to be stoned to death?

Goon 1: Not really.

Goon 2: Then do as Master tells you!

They proceed to put the thread bomb in place in the alley behind Steel's Super Target.

Goon 1: Target marked. Hehe. Get it?

Goon 2: Unfortunately. Start the timer and let's make haste!

They activate the timers for all the scattered thread bombs before peeling off in their van. The timers were counting down from the 30 second mark.

Clappy: Are you ready to do this? This may very well be our last stand.

Imposter SOF: More than anything.

Clappy: Good. I must say, it has been a pleasure fighting alongside.

Imposter SOF: I apprecate all the help you give me.

Sponge Seb: Alright, these fruits aren't gonna ripen. Get ready to storm in boys!

Seb motions for Steel and his GFX Unit to make their move, but the timersnto the bombs ticked off and they all proceeded go off like dominos. Thebdistrict was engulf in a fiery inferno, demolishing every store in sight and taking out a good majority of Seb's men. Imposter SOF and Clappy were shaken up from inside Clap Mart as the store began cave in from the pressure of the explosions. Imposter SOF and Clappy quickly made their way through the back door as the place came tumbling down. The smoke went up into the air and converged into a huge mushroom cloud. Fiery debris could also be seen soaring through the air.

Imposter SOF: What the duck man?!

Clappy: I don't know, but this is all alarmingly disturbing.

Sponge Seb: *rises from the rubble and coughs it off* What the hell is going on here?! Lt. Steel?!

Steel: *rises from the rubble and coughs it off as well* Commander!

Sponge Seb goes to help Steel up to his feet.

Sponge Seb: The bastards bombed the entire god damn district!

Steel: This is low, even for Clappy!

Sponge Seb: We can't let them get away!

Sponge Seb shouted as he peered through the smoke and ashes to see Imoster SOF and Clappy trying to make their escape. He motioned their location to Steel and they proceeded to give chase.

Imposter SOF: This place has gone to hell in a handbasket! Literally! What do we do now?!

Clappy: I know of another place where we can take refuge! It'll takensome persuasion, though!

Imposter SOF: Shouldn't be hard to do considering we're now two of The Community most wante- *is kicked several feet away*

Clappy turns to see Steel. Steel tries to nail him with another Steel Toe Kick but Clappy managed to dodge it before grabbing Steel by the leg and throwing him hard against the ground. Sponge Seb appears out of the corner of Clappy's eye and attempts to hit Clappy with his Claw Hammer attack but Clappy uses his forearm to block and absorb the blow, being forced down to one knee. Steel comes from the right side and finally connects Clappy with a Steel Toe Kick to the side, sending him flying as well. Seb leaps after him, hitting him with another Claw Hammer in mid-air, drilling Clappy hard into the ground. Steel rocket jumps into the air before coming down hard on Clappy with a Steel Toe Stomp, driving Clappy deeper into the ground. Clappy screams out in pain as Imposter SOF finally comes to.

Steel: I'm sorry, Clappy, but you gave us no choice.

Sponge Seb: Don't apologize to him. He knew what he was getting himself into, and now he's paying for it. Such a shame, really.

Imposter SOF grabs me Mallet of Doom™ before banging it against the ground, sending shockwaves towards Steel and Seb, sinking the ground below them and sucking them into a pothole, rendering them immobile.

Steel: What the hell?!

Sponge Seb: Whats the meaning of this?!

Imposter SOF: We don't want any!!

Imposter SOF shouted before jumping in the air using me mallet to nail Seb with his patented Whack-a-Mole attack! Steel managed to escape his hole using his trademark Buns of Steel before going after Imposter SOFbwith a Steel Wing attack. Imposter SOF ducked it and banged Steel into the air right from under him. Imposter SOF leaps after him but was met with a flurry of punches and kicks. Imposter SOF managed to block them all and responded with punches and kicks of his own. Seb finally recuperates and escapes his hole. Clappy comes to, as well, intercepting Seb before he could make his move.

Sponge Seb: Stand down, Claps!

Clappy: Sebastian, you can't really be this blind?!

Sponge Seb: How could I possibly be blind? I can see it all very clearly through your actions!

Clappy: This was not my doing, Seb! You should know me a lot better than that!

Sponge Seb: Then what I am blind to?! What excuse do you have to justify your actions!?

Clappy: You're blind to wool that is being pulled right over your very eyes! Can you not see the crimes being committed all around the Community?! By the real men responsible for all of this?!

Sponge Seb: With you at the forefront of it all! I can see it pretty damn clearly!

Clappy: Then you really are blind.

Sponge Seb: Look, I see myself as a soldier who does exactly as he told, someone who follows his orders and executes it precisely. Unlike you, who's had everything handed down to him on a silver platter ever since you came here. I've contributed my all to this Community day in and day out! I earned my rank and credibility as a Mod Commander! What exactly have you done for this Community that was of any benefit?! You were promoted to Admin by 70s, himself. He invested his time into your skills and gave you the benefit of the doubt considering you were Mod Commander before me. Yet you have the ego to go ahead and shit it all right back in 70s face like a stubborn child!

Clappy: You don't know just how wrong you are.

Sponge Seb: You can deny it all you want, but unlike you, I have a mission to accomplish.

Clappy: Consider it a failure.

Clappy suddenly vanishes into thin air. Imposter SOF vanishes as well during his battle gainst Steel. Steel descends back onto solid ground, disappointed, while Sponge Seb looks on at the carnage around him of what was once the Glove World commercial district.

Meanwhile at the Xat...

Someone is seen bowing before Dragiiin and Edo.

Dragiiin: The Glove World district has been reduce to nothing but ash.

Edo: A loss that shall be compensated in time, I hope. My son, your brother, Ex, is a failure. You should know by now what must be done, Shinya.

The person raises his head, showing his face.

Shinya: I do, father.

Edo: Show no mercy.

Shinya: Certainly, father.

Dragiiin: Fucking great.

Meanwhile, at the Sharing Time Condos...

Clappy and Imposter SOF find themselves whisked in front of one of the condo's doors.

Imposter SOF: What are we doing here?

Clappy: To ask for help from a friend. I made sure to vacate my own condo in order lower suspicions here.

Clappy knocks on the door and awaits an answer.

Imposter SOF: Who lives here then?

The door opens to reveal Jelly Fish Jammer. She appears shocked to Clappy and his companion.

Jelly: Clappy?!

Clappy: Jelly, hi...my friend and I...we need your...assistance.

Meanwhile, on the wrong side of the tracks...

The Figure: It appears chaos and destruction follows him everywhere he goes. Perhaps there is still some hope after all...Yes, I too, have reason to believe that they shall find me eventually, but by then...Ohooo yes, we will be ready. Your return is imminent...They will find us, they will.


Next Time

*a clip is shown of Imposter SOF confronting somebody*

Narrator: Next time! "Closer To The Truth! All Shall Be Revealed!!"

Episode XVI: "Closer To The Truth! All Shall Be Revealed!!"


The scene opens up to Imposter SOF, Clappy and Jelly.

Jelly: What? You need MY assistance?? Really?!

Clappy: Unfortunately, yes, we do.

Jelly: I don't know if you haven't read the Krabby Kronicle lately, but you two are wanted fugitives of justice!

Clappy: It is not like that.

Jelly: Then what the hell is it, Claps?! Give me one good reason to justify your actions?!

Clappy: Jelly, you have known me for a long time, a loooong time. Do I really seem like someone who would raise this much hell? Abuse my power to make things work to my own end? Cause the death of a fellow admin and brother in arms? Do I seem like someone who would enjoy the sight of this once beautiful place burn right into the ground it spawned from? I have done nothing but help this community since the day I first stepped foot here, even moreso once I made the Staff. I have been trying to prevent calamities like this from happening, but no matter what course of action I take, it all comes blazing down to it anyway. I seem to be the only one that truly cares about what becomes of this place. My fellow Admins, they, they seem to each have their own agenda of how this place should be run. Their constant internal struggle for power has been tearing this place apart in more ways than one. And now I am close to being powerless to stop it. If only Terminoob were still here, he would keep this place in line, but since his absence, this place has gone into a downward spiral straight down to hell. Please Jelly, you are the only who I can trust. You're the only one I have left.

Jelly:...At this point, I don't know what to believe...But I know for a fact that you would never do anything to harm the Community.

Clappy: Thank you, Jelly-

Jelly: Save it. What about him?

Clappy: If you ask me, honestly, this impostor is a blessing in disguise. So far, he has been cleaning the Community up.

Jelly: And killing Tvguy?

Clappy: If you ask me, it was for the best. He was a bad influence over this place, especially over 70s.

Jelly: I gotta agree with you there. You guys should come inside before anyone sees you.

Jelly welcomes Imposter SOF and Clappy into her casa. She had some freshly made jelly sandwiches cooling off by the window.

Jelly: Jelly sandwich?

Clappy: You do know how I love your jelly, Jelly.

Imposter SOF: Nun for me, k thanx.

Clappy takes her sandwich and eats it o refuel himself.

Clappy: I also have reason to believe that Imposter SOF wasn't conceived with good intentions in mind. Spongebobiscool appeared to have some knowledge as to who really created Imposter SOF, and from the sound of it, it wasn't all for the good of the Community.

Jelly: Sbiscool? But he's the lowest of the low? How could he have the resources to do that?

Clappy: I have reason to believe that someone else is pulling the strings. Sbiscool and his gang just supplied the muscle. Perhaps in retaliation to me interfering in Imposter SOF's database.

Jelly: You did what?

Clappy: I performed a complex procedure to tap into Imposter SOF's database in order to heighten his awareness and comprehension. Beforehand, he was just a mindless machine acting out on total instinct.

Jelly: Wait, why did you decide to do whatever it is that you did?

Clappy: Because Imposter SOF had potential, the potential to be something great and to be something the people here can believe in. He has single-handedly taken down all sorts of crime here and I hope he could inspire people here to take a stand for themselves and do the same.

Jelly: He may have done all these great things, but we still don't know all too much about him. Like you said, he was created for a reason. I mean, don't you find it the least bit disturbing that he was actually able to kill an Admin? He was able to fight toe to toe with 70s, himself.

Imposter SOF: Im right hear you now?

Clappy: If we can find whoever created him before it's too late, then I believe there will be some hope that he can fully reform.

Jelly: And what about the real SOF? This would kind of be a slap to his face now wouldn't it?

Clappy:...I don't know, but you must see that he has the potential to achieve and contribute a lot to the Community. He can achieve and accomplish more than the real SOF could. I know that sounds very dickish, but we have to at least give him the benefit of the doubt before considering him to be of any threat. If anything, we should be threatened by whoever spawned him.

Jelly: This is just too surreal.

Imposter SOF: Metal Snake.

Clappy: What was that?

Imposter SOF: Metal Snake, he knew who I was. He knew I was an impostor. I found out bout it thru him.

Clappy and Jelly: Metal Snake?!

Imposter SOF: Backstory tome?

Clappy: Metal Snake was once a valued member of our society. He had been since before the Community was created. When we all migrated here, Luke tried his hardest to gain good favor from everyone. Unfortunately, people saw his attempts as a mere annoyance and they decided to shun him out of their daily lives. Luke lost all the respect he had, his contributions lacked credibility, and his bad reputation had caused quite a number of confrontations amongst fellow members and himself. Luke grew tired of the constant ridicule and the lack of attention and recognition. So he changed his outlook on life and rechristened himself as "Metal Snake". He became hard like metal and was cold-blooded like a snake. He became detached from the world and escaped the hate by fleeing to the catacombs of the Underground City, which the Community is built over. He would rise from the Underground to pick more fights, coming out on the winning end of most before fleeing authorities. He would gain a disciple in Sabresponge, better known as "Sabre", who was also shunned by much of the population. Now, they work closely together, trying to gain access to a certain something that even we Admins are baffled as to what it is. We simply shrugged them off as being a couple of idiots, but since they seem to know about your origins, they may be a threat after all.

Imposter SOF: This is hurting my brains.

Jelly: If that's the case, then what do you suppose we do?

Clappy: We find them and we shake them down until they tell us what we want to know.

Jelly: I'll accompany you. It could be dangerous down there in the Underground City.

Clappy: No, I don't want to see you lose your position and power like I have.

Jelly: But Clappy-

Clappy: Damn it, Jelly! Don't try to change my mind. This is something Imposter SOF and I must do alone. We started this, now we're going to put an end to it.

Jelly:...Clappy, just be careful. I don't want to lose you like I lost Sabre.

Clappy: Metal Snake's word of mouth will have no power us. Don't you worry.

Jelly goes up and hugs Clappy. He pats her back to assure her that things will be fine.

Clappy: We must make haste.

Imposter SOF: Whisk away.

Jelly: I love you.

But Clappy had already whisked Imposter SOF and himself away.

Jelly: Asshole >.>

Meanwhile, in the Underground City...

Clappy and Imposter SOF find themselves in the heart of the Underground City, where Metal Snake and Sabre reside.

Imposter SOF: Where we at?

Clappy: Deep in the heart of the Underground City, located six feet under the Community. I can sense their IP's. They're close.

Suddenly a chi blast came at them from out of nowhere, but Imposter SOF and Clappy managed to dodge before it could make contact, creating a huge explosion. Clappy and Imposter SOF turned towards the direction it came from only to see Sabre standing on top of one of the Underground Buildings with his arm outstretched and hand opened. He gave a smirk before firing a huge ball of chi at them. They leapt into the air to dodge it, leaving it to collide with another bulding, taking it down easily and reducing it to rubble. Sabre proceeded to fire out a barrage of chi blasts at them in quick succession DBZ-style. Imposter SOF and Clappy managed to dodge it all before Imposter SOF fired a Lightning Bolt at Sabre, catching him by surprise. Clappy uses this opportunity to fire out a Clap Grenade, taking down the building Sabre was standing on. Imposter SOF and Clappy check out the rubble.

Imposter SOF: Is he deaf?

Clappy: I sincerely doubt it.

Suddenly, snakes came leaping out of the debris, wrapping themselves around Impost and Clappy. Sabre blasts his way out of the rubble with another chi blast, saving himself. The snakes, boas, pythons and anacondas constrict themselves around Impost and Clappy as another figure approaches them, clapping as if to taunt them.

Sabre: Excellent job restraining them, my lord.

Metal Snake: Ah, if it isn't my worth adversaries. I must admit, you two have quite the sizeable genitalia to make the descent down here in my humble abode. I onlybwish I had the time to tidy the place up a tad bit. I see you've met my pets. Beatiful specimens they are, aren't they. Quite the veritable maelstroms of avarice much like myself. I see the impostor is still alive and well, albeit a tad bit weaker since our last encounter but you have your administrator friend here to thank for that.

Imposter SOF: What?!

The snakes tighten their hold over them.

Metal Snake: Now, now, the more you struggle, the closer you are to your imminent demise.

Imposter SOF: Who crated me you son of a botch?!

Metal Snake: Now you want to know who spawned you onto this earth?? It took you long enough.

Clappy: Enough mind games, Luke! In case you've forgotten, you're dealing with a member of the Staff.

Metal Snake: Hahahardly! It appears your so-called brothers in arms has excommunicated you from power. Which in simpler terms mean you are hardly any threat at all!

Sabre: Good one, my lord!

Metal Snake: Besides, last I checked, the Staff wants you both dead. Perhaps I should do them all a favor, but then again, why would I? They frown upon all of our very existences! Perhaps you two should just drop your flags and join my Metal Militia. We always welcome social outcasts such as yourselves.

Imposter SOF: Sorry but were not that pathetic!

Clappy: That goes double for me, Luke!

Metal Snake: Stop calling me that! How long has it been since I abandoned that name? That name embodies everything I despise, everything I oppose! Everything self-righteous, pompous assholes like you stand for! Now look at you, groveling at my feet needing my help in increasing your very limited knowledge. Now you need my help when I have been denied such assistance time and time before.

Sabre: Fucking hypocrites is what they are, my lord.

Imposter SOF: Please I must now who created me. I must know, I have a right to know.

Metal Snake: I'll tell you what, impostor, we haven't gotten a clue. We were only requested to collect samples from Sponge Odd Fan's grave by an "anonymous" benefactor...if my memory serves me right.

Calppy: Quit fucking around, Luke!

Metal Snake: This matter does not concern the likes of you! Perhaps you can jog my memory by giving me a little something that I desire oh so very much.

Imposter SOF: Like what?

Metal Snake: A trinket, for the memories. That Mallet Of Doom™ would suffice quite nicely indeed.

Imposter SOF: Duck off.

Metal Snake: Going once!

Clappy: What do you think you're doing? Just give the damn hammer to him. You have already proven yourself to be a capable warrior without it!

Imposter SOF: NU!!

Clappy: Damn it, Imposter SOF! Does the fate of the Community mean nothing to you!?

Imposter SOF: Me mallet is my identity! It makes me who I am and without I'm more of a nobody than I already am!

Metal Snake: Going twice! This is your last chance to reconsider.

Imposter SOF:....NO.

Metal Snake: Well that's a damn shame, it is. Now it appears for I must extract it from cold, dead corpse by force.

Metal Snake motions for his snakes to constrict for the kill, but out of nowhere, a mysterious pink residue splattered over the snakes, burning them alive like acid.

Metal Snake: What witchcraft is this?!

Both he and Sabre looked up towards where the residue came from, only to see Jelly standing atop one of the Underground Buildings.

Metal and Sabre: Jelly?!

Sabre: I shall deal with her personally, my lord. I will not fail you!

Sabre promised before charging up at Jelly.

Metal Snake: Wait you ignorant moron!

Sabre charged up a red chi blast at Jelly, who countered it with a blue chi blast of her own.

Sabre: I will make you regret coming down here Jelly! Very dearly!!

He shouted out before firing a chi ball of epic proportions. Jelly simply kicked it away, ricocheting off to the side as it exploded upon making contact with some ruins.

Jelly: Don't make me do this, Sabre!

Sabre: I would love to see you try.

They fired simultaneous blasts at eachother, entering a beam struggle DBZ-style.

Clappy and Imposter SOF escaped their restraints as Metal Snake looks on at the beam struggle unfolding before him. Imposter SOF takes this opportunity to hit him with Saturday Crush, swatting Metal Snake right into a building. Clappy follows suit and pounds Metal Snake deeper into the wall he crashed in before grabbing him throwing him back out onto the pavement.

Clappy: Your days are numbered, Luke! You might as well give up while you still have dignity and credibility left to your name.

Metal Snake: Thats what you think. Have at it boys. I'd much rather die than be a prisoner of the Community

Imposter SOF: Fine bi me!

Imposter SOF retorted before attempting to hit Metal Snake with a Superman Kick, but Metal managed to catch his foot before it could make contact. Metal Snake proceeded to be beat Imposter SOF into the ground. Clappy intervened after about 15 consecutive beatings by nailing Metal Snake with a Clap Slap, sending him back a few feet. Clappy engages him combat as they enter a blitz of punches of kicks, trying to nail the other with a fatal blow. Imposter SOF sees this and joins the fray, creating a three-way blitz DBZ-style as Metal Snake attempts to block both of their flurry fury combo attacks. Sabre and Jelly are still struggling for momentum in their beam struggle.

Sabre: Why won't you just give up and die already!

Jelly: Why won't you just open your eyes already?! Sabre, why have you degraded yourself by becoming Luke's bitch, of all people?!

Sabre: Who the hell are you to judge?! Why the hell are you the Community'a bitch?! Why do you the hell do you serve an absent leader who wants nothing to do with us?! Why do you play bitch to these incompetent Admins who can't even find their way out of a cardboard box!

Sabre shouts as he fires more fuel for his chi blast.

Jelly: Because I actually believe in something! What the hell do you believe in?!

Sabre: Nothing about that place is worth my time and energy anymore!

Jelly: Then I pity you, brother!

Jelly shouts out as she too fires more fuel for her blast. Metal Snake is still struggling to block Impost and Clappy's attacks before finally slipping up and falling prey to a vicious double team DDT manuever, driving his head into the ground. Clappy picks him up and Clap Slaps him towards Impost, who goes for a Seismic Kick, but Metal Snake catches it in time. Having imposter SOF right where he wants him, Metal Snake takes the time to throw Impost right into Clappy, sending them both flying away a few feet. Seeing as how he is currently outnumbered, Metal Snake decides to make his escape.

Metal Snake: Until we meet again, impostor.

Metal mutters before disappearing in a green smoke. Imposter SOF leaps up after him but he has already vanished.

Imposter SOF: Damn it all to heel!

Meanwhile, Jelly and Sabre are still having their struggle.

Sabre: TIME TO DIE!!!

Sabre shouts out before giving it all his energy with one final refueling blast, slowly winning over momentum over Jelly's blast. Jelly has trouble maintaining her form, but she manages to compose herself.

Jelly: No, brother. Not yet!

Jelly enveloes herself in a pink aura before entering her Trance Form(FF reference fellas), which supplies her with the excess power to overcome Sabre's blast and fire it right back him.

Sabre: This can't be?! It's impossible! I'm sorry I failed you, my lord!!

Sabre laments as he is blasted away into the deepest trenches of the Underground City, seemingly defeating him. Jelly powers herself down before descending onto solid ground. Imposter SOF and Clappy greets her as she mMs her descent.

Clappy: Jelly, I'm speechless.

Jelly: A simple "thank you" would suffice.

Clappy: *sighs* Thank you for saving our asses, from the bottom of both our hearts.

Imposter SOF: What he sed.

Clappy: Jelly, I'm sorry about your brother.

Jelly: Don't be, I'm sure he survived that blast. If only I could finally break through to him.

Clappy: He'll find his way, Jelly. Trust me.

Jelly: That sounds reassuring. Did you boys find out whatever it was you needed to find out?

Clappy: Unfortunately, no, we didn't.

Imposter SOF: Damn bastard wanted me mallet. I'm sure well find out who created me eventually tho.

Jelly: You want to find who created you? Then why didn't you just check your IP address and trace down whoever else might be using it? Surely you would share the same IP as the one who made you since you're basically an extension of whoever it may be's connection.

Clappy: *laughs hysterically* Why the hell didn't I think of that before? No wonder my searches came up with nothing, I hid tour IP address before I performed the background checks. I wouldn't have been able to find two matching IP's since you were hidden.

Imposter SOF: What that meam?

Clappy: Imposter SOF, we'll be taking a huge ass risk by making your IP visible again, but with it we'll be able to find whoever spawned you and bring him to justice.

Imposter SOF: Awesomesauce!

Clappy puts a hand to Impost's chest, causing a burning sensation that visibly hurts Imposter SOF.

Clappy: There we go.

Jelly: Wait, you know how to hide IP addresses??

Clappy: Classified, Jelly. Even to a mod like you, no offense. Now that you're visible on radar again, there may be a risk of 70s being able to find us. Which is why I must be quick and decisive so I can hide you again after we make the leap. Got it?

Imposter SOF: Crystal.

Clappy: Jelly, I really appreciate your assistance but I don't you to risk yourself anymore from here on out. Imposter SOF and I must deal with this alone.

Jelly: I understand, but Clappy...

Clappy: What is it?

Jelly:... Be careful.

Clappy: Of course. We must all make haste.

Clappy says before whisking Impost and himself away to another location, leaving Jelly to head back to the Community.

Meanwhile, at the wrong side of the tracks...

Clappy and Imposter SOF finds themselves inside an old warehouse depot. It looked abandoned and poorly kept.

Imposter SOF: This is the place?

Clappy presses his hand onto Impost's chest again, hiding his IP once more.

Clappy: I traced the IP down here. I'm starting to sense something-

The Figure: Well, well, well! Lookie at what the Clap dragged in!

The Figure appeared from out of the darkness of the warehouse, pacing towards Imposter SOF with his hands behind his back.

The Figure: Imposter SOF, my special, special boy. We meet. Again.


Next Time

*a clips is shown of the Figure finally stepping into the light and in view*

Narrator: Next time! "Confront Your Past! The Imposter's True Purpose Revealed!!"

Episode XVII: "Confront Your Past! The Imposter's True Purpose Revealed!!


Clappy and Imposter SOF are shown to finally find themselves face to face with the shadowy Figure.

The Figure: Imposter SOF. We finally meet. Again.

Imposter SOF Who the duck are you?

The Figure: You don't recognize me? You don't recognize this face?! I am appalled at this revelation, especially considering that I have been like a father to you ever since your inception and conception. Oh wait, it must be because of the shadows I always enshroud myself. Allow me to improve your vision.

The Figure finally steps forward under the only dim light in the warehouse, finally exposing his identity. Clappy begins to look shock at the reveal.

Clappy: *gasps* Spongebobs1fan?!

Sbs1fan: Yes, Clapmaster, yes. It is I. Ringing any bells yet, Imposter SOF?

Imposter SOF: Not relly.

Sbs1fan: Well that's just a damn shame. After all the hard work I went through, creating you, feeding you all the spam you could possibly desire, raising your levels to its zenith to ensure that you would be the ultimate killing machine, capable of taking on anybody that dared cross your path, even the "Almighty" Staff. I essentially raised you from the grave from as if you were me own. I should consider myself a failure as a father, but a winner at spawning the most lethal killing machine known to the World Wide Web.

Clappy: And just what the hell is the meaning of that?

Sbs1fan: Clapmaster, you should know that by now. You should know a whole lot more than everybody in the Community.

Clappy: What? Is this simply just some crack pot revenge scheme? Our just desserts for expelling you from the Staff?

Sbs1fan: You're halfway there.

Clappy: This is beginning to sound preposterous. You brought it upon yourself.-

Sbs1fan: For what? For merely speaking my mind? For exercising my right to free speech?

Clappy: Someone who loses compassion for what they do has no reason to continue going about it.

Sbs1fan: You guys completely took everything out of context. I didn't like the direction the staff were taking, just because we had a minor disagreement does not justify stripping me of my rank and ower and basically throwing everything I have done for the Community right back in my face like unappreciative little brats! But that's just exactly what the Community is isn't it? A cesspool of a bunch of immature brats, all the way down from the lowest low-class citizen all the way up to the ones in power. It's a place full of unappreciative assholes who are all so self-righteous in their own egos that they begin to lose sight of what made the Community exist in the first place. I hear a lot of people both in Community and anywhere else say that Spongebob has fallen from grace, yet they continue to watch it like the hypocrites they all truly are. They lack appreciation for what the creators do to churn out every episode that is made and I am sick of it, for I am Spongebob's #1 Fan like my namesake suggests. The Community is also falling along those lines, but not just with me and my contributions, but with the Almighty, himself. The one who brought the Community into existence in the first place, Terminoob. Without him, we would have no Community to reside in, we would have no refuge from that totalitarian state that is Mocvt, yet I still hear people take his name in vain and put him down with every chance they get. Even members of your "righteous" Staff. Even Terminoob believed that the Community was going too hell in a hand basket, which is why split just like how I split. The Community is becoming the very thing we ran away from, and I do not like it not one bit.

Clappy: There so many things wrong with that above statement and the word "hypocrite" sums it all up pretty damn nicely. You left, yet you came back to contribute to the change. The change you believe is so bad.

Sbs1fan: I did that simply to get you idiots off my tailfin. A mask to cover up my true intentions.

Clappy: And what might that be?

Sbs1fan: Like Termi before me, I too wanted to create something great. I did not have the proper resources to create a community of my own, which is I resolved to creating my Imposters. I wanted to create the perfect user capable of taking down this establishment board by board. If I could not create a better place I thought, why not destroy it?

Clappy: Well congratulations. You created your war machine, but appears things have backfired.

Sbs1fan: Yes, quite. I did not count on any of this happening at all.

Imposter SOF: What do you mean?

Sbs1fan: After countless failure after failure, I finally resolved to create a user that lacked a mind of it's own whatsoever, acting only on sheer and utter instinct. The lack of mind gave plenty of room for power, raw power that made you different from the others, Imposter SOF. You were stronger, faster, among other things. But the power, I thought, would be too much for you to handle, which is why I had your account shut down momentarily to run a few field tests, but unfortunately, the worst happened. You were released from your stasis prematurely. I previously assumed it was Sbiscool who did it out of his impatience, but it soon became apparen't that that was not the case.

Clappy: What is Spongebobiscool's role in all of this?

Sbs1fan: He wanted power, so I gave it to him. I tapped into his account and made the necessary tune-ups. In exchange, he would provide me with muscle whenever needed. I helped him build up his crime syndicate, he helped me get you assholes off my back.

Clappy: And what about Metal Snake?

Sbs1fan: He and his lackey collected the samples I needed from SOF's grave to bring my creation to life. Of course, I would owe him something in return. A certain something that you currently have in your possession, Imposter SOF.

Imposter SOF: Me mallet?

Sbs1fan: Exactly.

Imposter Why? Why he went me mallet?!

Sbs1fan: Because it's supposed to his. You see, that Mallet Of Doom™ posseses rare qualities. It posseses power the power to kill and ban users with its unbelievable strength. Which essentially makes it a-

Clappy: Banhammer.

Sbs1fan: Ding ding ding ding ding! You would know that one, wouldn't you, Claps?

Clappy: Where in the hell did you get your hands one of those?!

Sbs1fan: Let's just say that I have a friend, on the other side.

Clappy: Enough cryptics, sbs.

Sbs1fan: Which brings me to the real reason why I created Imposter SOF. Whereas I wanted to wait until you were physically capable of withstanding your great power, he released you to truly test your power out on the field. I expected you to have a total meltdown, but to my shock, you were able to withstand your power exertion. You toppled all who came your way, you fought equally with 70s and actually killed Tvguy in cold blood. You were exceeding even my expectations. You being released prematurely and heading out on your mallet massacre was the best thing that could possibly happen! That is until you came along, Clapmaster. You dared interfere in what I had already established in Imposter SOF and fucked everything up. You gave Imposter SOF a mind of his own but at the cost of majority of his power reserves. You single handedly sabotaged a once perfect vessel.

Imposter SOF: Vesso?

Sbs1fan: Which brings me back to that friend I mentioned earlier. Sure you should know who I'm talking about Clapmaster. Majority of the Community should know by now.

Clappy: Sbs...no...you didn't. Please tell me you didn't!

Sbs1fan: The reason why I created Omposter SOF was not only to just create a perfect killing machine. I wanted to create the perfect vessel for one of the perfect minds out there. This goes far beyond just a simple revenge scheme. I still want revenge regardless, but there has always been a bigger picture.

Clappy: Sbs, please tell me you're joking!

Sbs1fan: I wanted to create a perfect vessel, for the perfect mastermind...WhaleBlubber.

Imposter SOF: Blubberberry?!

Sbs1fan: I had a perfect vessel, but thanks to you Clappy, that perfection has eroded into imperfection, and WhaleBlubber is not pleased.

Clappy: But why?! Why work with Blubber?! Are you saying you have always been in cahoots with him?!

Sbs1gan: No, this is only a recent business relationship.

Clappy: Why now?! Why work hand in hand now?!

Sbs1fan: This where the revenge aspect comes back in, of course. You assholes would always ridcule and chastize me for always being in league with or outright being Blubber, himself. It got to the point where I could stand it no longer so I left the Community to go find myself, so to speak. I felt like a broken man. I lost my pride, my confidence. Most importantly, I lost my identity. Even I began questioning who I really was. I was a total wreck, but then he came. Blubber approached back at Mocvt. I wanted nothing more than to waste him completely. Take out all my anger and rage! I stood no chance, I must admit, but he chose not to kill me. He spared me. He began telling me how I was merely playing my part in the grand scheme of things. He said he could help me obtain retribution. He said how when it all came down to it, The Community failed me, they chose the word of a troll over the word of one of their most loyal followers. He said I was screwed over in more ways than, and I agreed with him. He wanted to test the Community's stability as a unit, but in the end, you failed. He offered me a chance to get back the ones truly responsible for my fall from grace. WhaleBlubber was a blessing in disguise. He opened my eyes once again to the corruption that still runs the Community to this very day. We worked day and night, trying to come up with a full-proof plan to bring down the Community. Blubber could not step foot in the place without getting found out and smited, so I decided to make my return. I created the News Station as a diversion, as a show of no I'll will and to mask over my true intention. I slaved for even more days and nights, creating new account bots, but they were all insufficient. I came to the realization that I shouldn't just create new accounts out from scratch, I should model one after an already established user. Of course, I couldn't just base it off somebody who currently is active, so I decided to base it off someone who is no longer with us anymore. Enter Sponge Odd Fan. Unfortunately, his remains were out of reach, deep in the confines of the Junkyard Graveyard. I had no access inside, which is why I reached out to Metal Snake and Sabre. They agreed to gather the samples I needed, but wNted something in return. I offeredthem all the doubloons I had in my possession, but they wouldn't bite. They wanted something with much more value. I updated WhaleBlubber on the situation and he bestowed upon me the banhammer he had used to kill and ban many on Mocvt, myself included. I must admit, I contemplated using it on WhaleBlubber, but he wasn't the one to take my anger out on. I offered the mallet to Metal Snake and he gladly accepted it, but I made him retrieve the samples before the exchange were to happen. Metal Snake
did his part and held onto the mallet until the time was right to make the exchange, but then Blubber released Imposter SOF and in the carnage that ensued, Imposter SOF took the mallet and made his escape. Metal Snake resolved to take the mallet by force, but seeing as how you still have it, I'm pleased. It could be of some use to compensate for your power that was lost when wielded in Blubber's hands.

Clappy: I don't think so.

Imposter SOF: My brains hurt.

Sbs1fan: And now, I got a deal to complete.

Sbs1fan snapped his fingers as the rest of the lights in the warehouse came back on, revealing that they have been surrounded by a bunch of Imposter Sbiscools. They all put out switchblades and grab a hold over both Imposter SOF and Clappy, seperating them. The warehouse began to shake as if an earthquake was going on and the lights started flickering like crazy.

Sbs1fan: He's getting impatient. The time has come.

Imposter SOF and Clappy struggled with Imposter Sbiscools as the building becomes enveloped in black smoke before the scene fades to black.


Next Time

*A clip is shown of Imposter SOF engaging Sbs1fan in mortal combat*

Narrator: Next Time! "Last Stand! Enter The Blubber!!"

Whoa, I'm gonna have to read this once I get a chance.

this might just be the best SBC lit ive ever read