CDCB's Jam-o-Rama

Okay, I don't plan to continue this, so don't really expect any other additions to this lit. It's just a little something I wrote up when I was bored. Enjoy, everyone.

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“Welcome to try outs for CDCB’s Jam-o-Rama!” announced CDCB. “I’m your host, CDCB! Let’s see who our contestants are today.”

“Our first guest is…”


“Elmo”

La la la—

“Okay,” said CDCB. “I’ve heard enough.”

“But Elmo not done yet!” objected Elmo.

“Oh, yes you are!” said CDCB, sending Elmo through a trap door.

“Waaaaaaah! Elmo fall and get big boo boo!” sobbed the furry red monster.

“Next…” said CDCB.


“Cool Guy”

Like blow joe
Check my moves, yo
In the snow, Moe
I say go row
You say no, no
*falls through trap door*
Aaaaaah!
Like no, yo!


“Ehh…no,” said CDCB. “Next guest, please.”



“Tigger”

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They’re bouncy, trouncy
Trouncy, bouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun—

*CRASH!*

Tigger bounced straight through the ceiling.

“Could someone get me down from here?” asked Tigger.

“Ugh…” groaned CDCB. “Can somebody give me a hand with Tigger? Next!”



“Ronald McDonald”

Put a smile on
Put a smile on
Everybody come on
Put a—


“Alright, who let the clown in here?” said CDCB.

“Eat at McDonald’s!” said Ronald.

“Shut it, clown boy,” said an annoyed CDCB.

“Use nice words only!” said Ronald.

“Okay, can somebody please get this clown out of here? He’s totally creeping me out,” said CDCB to one of his assistants.

A fat man came and dragged Ronald McDonald away.

“Try our fries! Try our milkshakes!” ranted Ronald as he was kicked out of the studio.

“Okay…next,” said CDCB.



“The Wiggles”

Fruit Salad
Yummy, yummy
Fruit Salad
Yummy, yum—


“Okay, what are The Wiggles doing in my studio?” said CDCB.

*snore*

“Wake up, Jeff!” said the rest of the Wiggles.

“How about you all wake up and get on out of here?” said CDCB.

“Would you care for some fruit salad?” asked Anthony.

“Uh…no,” said CDCB. “Next!”



“Dorky Guy”

I like pie
Pie, pie, pie
I like cheese
Cheese, cheese, cheese
I like candy
Candy, candy, can—


“Okay, Dorky Guy, we won’t be using you I’m afraid,” said CDCB.

“Derr…thanks for the honor!” said Dorky Guy.

“What?! I mean, you don’t get the job!” said CDCB.

“Oh yeah! The job! Have you seen my solo?” said Dorky Guy.

“Yes, Dorky Guy, I have seen your solo,” said CDCB.

“Did I ever tell you about the time that Scaredy and I—”

“Yes, yes,” said CDCB. “That’s very nice. Next!”

“Gah, but I’m not done yet!” said Dorky Guy. “I—”

He was cut off as the recording switched to the next contestant.



“The Queen of Hearts”

“Okay, next contestant, please,” said CDCB.

“I will only be addressed as Your Majesty!” declared the Queen of Hearts.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” replied CDCB. “Where are my manners?”

“I shall sing a rendition of Mary Had a Little Lamb…AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!!!” screamed the Queen.

*extremely high pitched voice*

A lamb Mary owned
And took far from home
To school it went
And home it was sent
And the lamb was all alone

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but you did not make the final cut. Next audition plea—” started CDCB.

“What?! Off with your head!!!” yelled the Queen of Hearts.

“I’d rather have my head attached to my body, thank you, Your Majesty,” said CDCB calmly.

“Seize the offender, guards!!” continued the Queen, ignoring CDCB’s statement.

“What?!” said CDCB. “But it’s my job to reject people! I get paid for this!”

“But I don’t get paid to be rejected!!”argued the Queen. “Off with his head!!”

CDCB sighed as he lost his head and lived a very lonely and headless rest of his life.