Skodwarde

Episode 1. Help Wanted/Reef Blower/Tea at the Treedome

Spongebob wakes up early to get himself a job at the Krusty Krab. Skodwarde finds and summons anchovies to ruin his job interview. After Spongebob foils his plan to the tunes of Tiny Tim, Skodwarde flings Krabby Patties at Patrick with his god powers before finishing his shift and listens to Tiny Tim records at home.

Skodwarde woke up one day to find a shell causing a blemish on once flawless lawn, so he used his god powers to fling it onto Spongebob's perfect lawn. Spongebob takes notice of it and whips out his trusty reef blower to get rid of it. After some nautical nonsense involving god powers and reef blowers, Skodwarde uses his god powers to suck out the water dry. He puts it back after finding out he needs water then goes back inside to listen to more Tiny Tim records.

Skodwarde is lurking around Bikini Bottom one day when he finds a strange creature he has never seen before. Looking to cleanse Bikini Bottom, Skodwarde summons a giant clam to dispose of her. His plans are foiled when Spongebob intervenes. Sandy invites Spongebob over to her treehouse. Skodwarde arrives to stir shit up but is thwarted yet again. He heads back to his tiki to play some Rock Band.

Episode 2. Bubble Stand/Ripped Pants

One day, Spongebob opens up a bubble blowing booth for 25 cents a blow. Skodward takes offense to someone like Spongebob opening up business so close to home, so he challenges Spongebob to a bubble blowing contest. Spongebob uses a special technique to help with his blowing while Skodwarde uses his god powers to blow a bubble of gigantic proportions that carries his house off into the sky with him in it. Skodwarde then spends the rest of his day zumba dancing.

While at the beach, Skodwarde tosses sand onto some guy's buns, steals some girl's sunscreen, and left another guy to be buried alive in the sand and forgot him. Skodwarde spots Spongebob failing to impress Sandy and the guys at Muscle Beach so he uses his god powers to humiliate Spongebob even more by causing a rip in his pants. Things backfire when everybody else starts laughing and inflating Spongebob's ego. The tables start to turn when Spongebob's jokes get repetitive and out of hand, driving everybody to shun him. Skodwarde feels non-unsurely fulfilled until Spongebob and all the other people he humiliated start jamming out on the beach, winning back everyone's love and affection. Thwarted once again, Skodwarde proceeds to break his diet and decides to supersize those fried oyster skins.

Episode 3. Jellyfishing/Plankton!(Aka the one where Spongebob gets probed)

After a botched attempt on Spongebob's life leave him wheelchair-bound, Skodwarde wants nothing more than to be left alone. Spongebob and Patrick come over to make it up to him by teaching him how to jellyfish. Patrick tells Skodwarde to firmly grasp it, which Skodwarde does due to years of experience. After catching his first jellyfish, Skodwarde plots revenge by summoning an army of jellyfish to do his bidding. He sends them after Spongebob and Patrick but it backfires when Queen Jellyfish arrives to restore order to her underlings, further crippling Skodwarde. Skodwarde returns home from the hospital and proceeds to cry himself to sleep.

Things go bump in the night when Skodwarde is awaken from his beauty sleep to find Spongebob breaking into his second story bedroom, calls him a mediocre clarinet player before casually walking off from the second floor. Utterly pissed off, Skodwarde uses his god powers to deduce that Spongebob is being probed by the miniscule menace known as Plankton! Now having a common enemy, Skodwarde uses his god powers to painfully extract Plankton. After an epic battle involving science and god powers, Skodwarde steps on Plankton, non-unsurely crushing him in defeat. Spongebob then invites Skodwarde over for flapjacks.


Episode 4. Naughty Nautical Neighbors/Boating School

Skodwarde is interrupted while eating cake one day by Spongebob and Patrick's crazy antics. In retaliation, Skodwarde uses his god powers to blow talking bubbles of his own, driving a wedge in Spongebob and Patricks's friendship with false death threats toward each other. His plan backfires when Skodwarde finds himself in compromising situations that causes them to think that they're his friends. Skodwarde uses his god powers to go back in time undo the damage he caused. He then spends the rest of his day thinking about how he can use his new power to rid himself of Spongebob.

Trivia: Skodwarde discovers he can time travel

Spongebob is up bright and early for his umpteenth driving test. Patrick formulates a plan to probe Spongbob and control his actions, helping him to finally get his license. Skodwarde senses this and uses his god powers to interfere in the frequency, promptly exposing Spongebob's treachery and getting him into a fender bender. After finally having one of his plots work, Skodwarde begins telling the audience the moral of the story before the end credits roll.

Trivia: Skodwarde's plot actually succeeded.

Episode 5. Pizza Delivery/Home Sweet Pineapple

One day, Mr. Krabs invents the very first Krusty Krab Pizza and forces Both Spongebob and Skodwarde to deliver just one pizza. After spending a good two hours checking the tire pressure, they finally roll out. After some under hi-jinx involving god powers and gas, Skodwarde uses his god powers to drive a rock on over to their desired destination. After the customer slams teh door on his face, Skodwarde blasts the door open and says, "well this one's on the house." He then uses his god powers to conjure up a giant pizza and literally plops it down on the house. Skodwarde drops Spongebob at home before catching a drive-in movie.

One day, Skodwarde planned to drive Spongebob out of Bikini Bottom by summoning nematodes to devour his pineapple house. His plan suceeds and eagerly awaits Spongebob's moving day. Once that day arrived Skodwarde began dancing where the pineapple house once stood, but his god powers accidentally conjured it back with his crumping skills. Skodwarde, foiled once again, brings Mrs. Squarepants to his house for a conjugal.

Love the lack of creativity xP

Wait... where have I seen this?

Clappy wrote:Love the lack of creativity xP

I take offense to that. Alot of thought goes into each episode, but srsly, when dealing with skodwarde you have to lack something.

¡¡suıʞuǝɾ ʎoɹǝǝl wrote:

Clappy wrote:Love the lack of creativity xP

I take offense to that. Alot of thought goes into each episode, but srsly, when dealing with skodwarde you have to lack something.

Oh really? I'm sorry for questioning your methods.

Its spongbob episodes replacing Squid with Sko O_O .

Clappy wrote:

¡¡suıʞuǝɾ ʎoɹǝǝl wrote:

Clappy wrote:Love the lack of creativity xP

I take offense to that. Alot of thought goes into each episode, but srsly, when dealing with skodwarde you have to lack something.

Oh really? I'm sorry for questioning your methods.

Lol. My actions have no methods, just pro Bono work. Glad to have a reader, love ya Claps!

This is actually hilarious. xD

Wumbology wrote:This is actually hilarious. xD

wumbo no it isnt its just him replacing squidwards name with skodewaerd tthatd relly uncreative

Just when you thought he died, he hath used his god powers to cum back again with double premieres!!??!??!? Dedicated to wumbo. Well, here you go.

Episode 6. Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy/ Pickles

One day, Spongebob and Patrick set out to find their longtime television idols, Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy. They are soon disappointed to find out that their idols are now senile old men. When all hope seems loss, Skodwarde arrives to stir shit up as usual. After using his god powers to destroy the meatloaf and brocoli lines, Mermaid & Barnacle Boy snaps out of their dementia and take action. They summon over sea creatures of the deep to hold Skodwarde back but he uses his god powers to cause all the elderly sea creatures to assplode. Skodwarde proceeds to fire his pew pew eye lazors at them while Mermaidman fires back some waterballs and Barnacle Bot shoots barnacles from his pants. After being fought back into a corner, Skodwarde swears vengeance profanely before using his ultimate technique, Ultima. Mermaidman manages to shield everybody in a water shield and Skodwarde teleports back to his house where he spends the rest of his day watching Hallmark movies. Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy takes Spongebob and Patrick out for some Vietnamese.

One day, a morbidly obese bass by the name of Bubblebath steps into the Krusty Krab and proceeds to order everything on the menu with extra pickles. Skodwarde sabotages the order by using his god powers to remove the pickles. When Bubblebath makes the complaint, he tosses Slodwarde off-screen and takes his dollar back from Mr. Krabs, refusing his offer for three glasses. While Mr. Krabs teaches Spongebob in the ways of the spatula, Skodwarde takes vengeance by using his god powers to place intricate items under Bubblebath's tongue. When the rematch comes to pass, Bubblebath is revealed to have the pickles under his tongue the whole time, along with car keys, sports illustrated, drugs, Osama, and somebody's virginity. Bubblebath flees the scene before stopping to catch his breath. Spongebob gets his job back and Skodwarde finishes up his shift before heading home to take a bubblebath.

Can't wait for Skodwarde The Unfriendly Ghost!

Episode 7. Hall Monitor/Jellyfish Jam

One day, Skodwarde watches the news and tunes in on news break regarding an "Open Window Maniac" that is terrorizing Bikini Bottom all day. Judging from the artist's rendition, Skodwarde uses his god powers to deduce that Spongebob is the maniac. Skodwarde sets out to expose Spongebob but gets caught up in a stand off against Bikini Bottom PD. After some epic high noon action involving god powers and fire power, Skodwarde wastes the entire police force with an Ultima before heading back home to Tweet about the experience. Meanwhile, Spongebob is caught and Mrs. Puff gets arrested for it.

One day, Spongebob takes a stray jellyfish home and proceeds to teach it how to dougie. The noise and chaos keeps Skodwarde up all night, leaving him to wonder how Spongebob can have so much fun with a wild animal. An idea pops up in Skodwarde's head and he proceeds to summon another army of jellyfish once again to rain down on Spongebob's parade but it backfires when Spongebob literally leads a parade of jellyfish all the way back to Jellyfish Fields and leaves them there. Queen Jellyfish comes back to sting the shit out of Skodwarde after.

Trivia: There is no mention of god powers at all in "Jellyfish Jam"

Episode 8. Sandy's Rocket/Squeaky Boots

One day, Sandy finishes building her rocket and foolishly decides to show it off to Spongebob. Spongebob is left in awe at the thought of space travel and is even more excited when he forces Sandy to invite him along through guilt. Spongebob heads back and blabs everything to Patrick. Skodwarde uses his god powers to eavesdrop on their convo and uses his god powers to plant the idea in their heads to take Sandy's rocket out for a joyride. They blast off and Skodwarde celebrates his apparent victory by reading some Mein Kempf. When Spongebob and Patrick crash lands back in Bikini Bottom, they arm themselves with weapons to take on the Convenant. They blast through the entire town before coming across Skodwarde, who they think is the alien leader with alien powers. They charge into battle, shouting "death to Xenu" before blasting Skodward with their plasma rays but Skodwarde fires back with pew pew eye lazors. Spongebob and Patrick whip out a star saber and impact hammer while Skodwarde brandishes his double sided clarinet. After an epic battle involving advanced space age tech and god powers, Sandy interrupts the fight with her jet powered jet pack. She nags at all three of them to snap them back to their senses but is silenced when all three of them knocks her out with a blunt object. Spongebob and Patrick cuna in peace and Skodwarde takes Sandy to his tiki to show her his rocket. Spongebob and Patrick later strands themselves in Uranus.

One day, Skodwarde buys a pair of new boots for Mr. Krabs' daughter, Pole. But seeing as how her name is Pole, Skodwarde uses his god powers to cause the boots to be extra squeaky, irritatingr. Krabs to no end and leaving Pole to consult the fashion police. Mr. Krabs later gives the boots to Spongebob but it backfires when he wears them to work. Mr. Krabs naps and proceeds to devour th whole. Skodwarde finishes his shift fulfilled and heads home to read more Mein Kempf. Spongebob heads home to watch amoebe porn. Mr. Krabs spends the rest of his day taking the biggest most painful shit of his life.

Trivia: Skodwarde hates poles, Skodwarde has good taste in books.

I predict 8 seasons of this, if not more with a major motion picture. Maybe place that between seasons 3 and 4? Hopefully the fans don't think it goes downhill after the movie without complaining about too much Skodwarde abuse.

Don't forget all those tv specials scattered throughout Seasons 4 and up. I might take this all the way.

Episode 9. Nature Pants/Opposite Day

One day, Spongebob looks back at the episodes "Jellyfishing" and "Jellyfish Jam" one day and makes a life-changing decision to live among the jellyfish at Jellyfish Fields. Skodwarde is overjoyed until he sees Spongebob undress and heads out streaking. Skodwarde uses his god powers to make life outdoors hell for Spongebob by conjuring up poisonous sea urchins and leeches to torment Spongebob. Skodwarde makes things personal when he brings a heartbroken Patrick into the equation and uses his god powers to summon Ole Reliable jellyfish net before sending Patrick out to fish for Spongebob. After a wild goose chase around Jellyfish Fields involving snide remarks, accusations, and heavy breathing, Patrick gives up when fails to jump up one inch above the ground. He breaks Ole Reliable, a clear metaphor that he's heartbroken and their friendship is over. Spongebob doesn't seem to care and proceeds to eat all the jelly in the hive he's hiding in. The jellyfish get pissed off and buzz him out of the fields. Spongebob takes the walk of shame back home only to be greeted with a Welcome Home party, with it all being an elaborate scheme by Patrick to help Spongebob get over his Jellyfish obsession and Skodwarde helped. Skodwarde, unaware of his part in the plan, heads home to watch the Tony Awards on his DVR. Spongebob later dreams of flying with the jellyfish, but that's an episode for another day.

Trivia: Featured song in this episode was "Burning For You" by Blue Oyster Cult, played during the climactic chase scene between Spongebob and Patrick.

One day, Skodwarde uses his god powers to make today Opposite Day in Bikini Bottom just to fuck with everybody but all backfires when Spongebob and Patrick among other people start acting like Skodwarde. Some how they all gain god powers by pretending to be Skodwarde and Bikini Bottom descends into celestial chaos. Skodwarde leaves his date to take out the pretenders in god-like fashion. After a collision of god powers, Skodwarde is left with nothing else to do but to time travel back in time to prevent himself from making today Opposite Day. When it's all said and done, Skodwarde proceeds to chase Spongebob and Patrick off with a bulldozer and shouting out "Happy Opposite Day!"

Trivia: Happy Oposite Day!

Episode 10: Culture Shock/F.U.N.

One day after watching America's Got Talent, Mr. Krabs came up with an idea to cash in on the talent craze by starting up a talent show of his own at the Krusty Krab, inviting over every Bikini Bottomite who thinks they got talent, which there are a lot of but lack any real talent. Skodwarde plans to use this as an opportunity to show off his dancing prowess and use it to blow everybody away...literally. Spongebob signs up as well without thinking about what his talent was, so he spends the rest of the day working on his dougie skills with the jellyfish at Jellyfish Fields. When the curtain comes calling, Skodwarde uses his god powers to sabotage everybody else's acts until it's finally his turn to perform. After leaving the crowd in awe with his crumping skills, Skodwarde uses his god powers to blow away half the studio audience. Spongebob's out next and Skodwarde works to sabotage his act but it only portrays Spongebob in a better light. When the results end up in a tie, Mr. Karbs cashes in on the popularity of ABDC and So You Think You Dance by announcing a tie-breaking dance battle for the title. After an epic dance battle involving god powers, pops, locks, and drops, Spongebob is declared the unanimous winner. Spongebob has roses thrown at him while Skodwarde spends the rest of his day beating off to the chicks on So You Think You Can Dance.

Featured Song: "Black and Yellow" by Whiz Khalifa

One day, Plankton tries to steal a Krabby Patty but Skodwarde crushes him in defeat at his feet before he could pose any real threat. After Spongebob takes credit and is declared the honorary rookie of the day, he is given the Jolly Good Rookie celebratory dance. While in mid-song, Spongebob begins to feel for the disgruntled Skodwarde and vows to become a better friend to the squid nazi. After singing the FUN song to Skodwarde, Skodwarde denies Spongebob's advances and heads home to watch The Boy in the Striped Pajamas on blu-ray. Spongebob makes takes Plankton to the theater where Plankton is almost raped by Bubblebath. Skodwarde finishes watching The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, shedding tears of joy at the conclusion.

Episode 11. MuscleBob BuffPants/Skodwarde, The Unfriendly Ghost

After a hard day's workout session involving sticks, marshmallows and stuffed animals, Spongebob checks himself out in the mirror with no real results. After being taunted by a shark version of Macho Man Randy Savage on the television, Spongebob decides to order a pair of Anchor Arms in order to compete in a strong man competition at Muscle Beach to impress Sandy and the guys. Skodwarde catches wind of this and decides to stir shit up as usual by using his god powers to switch out the Anchor Arms for steroids. Spongebob shoots it up anyway and almost immediately gets the results he desired. Spongebob soon uses up all his syringes and is practically the most tickest guy in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob blows away the competition and Sandy with his new physique and prowess but when he has to toss an anchor he can't throw, let alone lift off the ground, Spongebob over exerts himself to the point where his muscles all assplode. Skodwarde, feeling unsurely non-unfulfilled, spends the rest of his day lifting weights with his telekinesis. Meanwhile, Spongebob tests positive for steroids and is disqualified. Sandy, having overpowered the competition, is declared Mr. Iron Bottom.

One day, Spongebob and Patrick ventures into Skodwarde's house in order to retrieve their vibrator. After getting pass all of Skodwarde's deadly traps through undersea hi-jinx, they finally stumble into Skodwarde's room where their vibrator is located. They find a shrine dedicated to Skodwarde at the front of his bed and breaks it on impulse. They try to repair the statue but to no avail. Thinking they killed Skodwarde, they try to hide the body of evidence until Slodwarde prances in after having a beat-off session in his bathroom. He demands to know why they have trespassed onto sacred ground but they shower him with cries for forgiveness. Skodwarde uses his god powers to deduce what they have done to his shrine and decides to use it to his advantage. After declaring that he is now a ghost that is trapped in the realm of the living, he commands Spongebob and Patrick to bring him the blood of the inferior to satiate his eternal hunger in order to cross over to the other side. Spongedbob and Patrick gets right on that but not before planning out Slodwarde's funeral service, inviting over every citizen of Bikini Bottom to grieve. Skodwarde uses his god powers to lift up inanimate objects and forces them to bring him more blood. The funeral begins, and after realizing nobody bothered to come, Skodwarde confesses to Spongebob and Patrick, who simultaneously realizes that Skodwarde has no pubic hairs. Skodwarde shows them off his yard before spending the rest of his day beating off some more.

Episode 12: The Chaperone/ Employee of the Month

(This is a dare btw)

The Chaperone: After being dumped by her date, Spongebob is asked to accompany Pearl to her high school prom. Skodwarde hears all about it, and decides to ruin it for Spongebob and Pearl (but mostly Spongebob). He knocks out Spongebob, and replaces him with an anamatronic dummy, designed to screw up in every way possible. Skodwarde then poses as Octavius Rex A.K.A Long Tan and Handsome in order to watch his plan succeed. He is pleased when the dummy ruins her picture, spills punch all over himself, and dances so awkwardly that she just can't stand him no more. However, he worries when the dummy begins crying, as he was programmed without emotions. He then is forced to perform "The Sponge" in order to keep up with his disguise. He soon breaks his bones, and his transferred to the hospital. As he limps home in his body cast, he finds the dummy in a dumpster. Skodwarde then begins smoking his marijuana prescription while listening to "Light My Fire" by the Doors.

Employee of the Month: After slipping some coke in Mr. Krabs daily apple, Mr. Krabs begins to finally notice Skodwarde's contributions to the KK. He even begins to consider Skodwarde for the employee of the month award. a title Spongebob has held onto for most of his career, making Skodwarde more determined to steal it from him. After Spongebob's pitiful attempts to destroy his unlimited supply of alarm clocks that he had won in an old radio contest, Skodwarde sets a trap for Spongebob to prevent him from beating him to the Krusty Krab. Unfortunately, it leads to a crazy night where he wakes up carrying a ship, and of course not knowing why. He and Spongebob reach the Krusty Krab at the same time, and as Mr. Krabs is opening up shop. Skodwarde then franticlly washes upon a table with all of his force, causing it to breaking, and him to get splinters. Mr. Krabs, not wanting to deal with worker's comp, chooses Spongebob. Skodwarde then carries the ship back to his hut, but not before briefly snuffing a slice of coke.

Episode 13: Scaredy Pants/I Was A Teenage Gary

One day, it was Halloween in Bikini Bottom and all the Bikini Bottomites were getting into the Halloween spirit, even Skodwarde, who decided to dress up as Adolf Hitler. Skodwarde scares Spongebob with his duck walk, causing everybodyto laugh and call Spongebob names such as pussy and chickenshit. Spongebob, humiliated once again, decides to put on his most scariest costume ever and scare all of Bikini Bottom. Meanwhile, Skodwarde bring the traditionalist that he is, uses his god powers to sneak razor blades into all the candy, lights all the Jack-o-lanterns ablaze, and raises all the corpses and ghosts from their graves, literally raising Hell over Bikini Bottom. Skodwarde also terrorizes Mr. Krabs in his home when he refuses to give out candy. Spongebob dresses up as a ghost and scares away everybody he sees, thinking Spongebob is a Klan member. When Spongebob enacts his revenge scheme with help from Patrick, he puts a rope around himself for Patrick to hoist him down but it backfires and everybody at the party thinks that Spongebob is going to lynch them, scaring everybody off. Skodwarde sends his army of the undead to rape Mr. Krabs and goes home to eat some Bon bons. Spongebob now has a conehead that causes Patrick to shit himself.

One day, Spongebob foolishly asks Skodwarde to watch over Gary while he attends a Jellyfish Convention. Skodwarde declines at first, but changes his mind once Spongebob says he'll be away for a week. Spongebob's instructions goes through one ear and out the other as Skodwarde spends the next seven days subjecting Gary to rigorous torture involving god powers, spikes, whips, blunt objects, and starvation. Spongebob returns and takes him back, oblivious to his condition until he realizes that Gary stays still in the bath, something he never did before. Sensing that something must be wrong, Spongebob calls the police to report Skodwarde for animal abuse. Skodwarde catches wind of this and uses his god powers to transform Spongebob into a snail in the most painful way possible to keep his mouth shut. Skodwarde proceeds to have good night's sleep until Spongebob starts stalking him inside his house. After an epic chase involving meowing and god powers, Skodwarde gets his just desserts and is turned into a snail himself. They spend the rest of the night meowing Ave Maria before Patrick flies a dildo at them.

I have to say, props for making IWaTG better for me.

Dared to make a serious episode of Skodwarde

Episode 14. SB-129/Karate Choppers

SB-129:
Skodwarde hears noises going on outside and wakes up to see that Spongebob and Patrick are outdoors ready to go jellyfishing. They want Skodwarde to go with them, but Skodwarde was clinically depressed after his last trip jellyfishing with them, He sneaks out and goes to the Krusty Krab and hides in the freezer, but accidentally breaks the knob. Thinking that somebody will notice he is in there, he doesn't panic-- but freezes in there. Never noticed, he winds up in the future and is not too thrilled about the way the new stuff works. So Skodwarde goes into a time machine and finds two prehistoric people (later named SpongeGar and Patar) and accidentally invents jellyfishing. When he gets back, he ends up being the idiot who created jellyfishing. Skodwarde then goes back to his everyday routine.


Karate Choppers:
The episode begins with the preparation for the Kumite somewhere in Kowloon Walled City. Then a number of fighters are shown preparing for the Kumite with their own individual training regimens (from climbing trees, bashing coconuts, to breaking large ice blocks and boards). Skodwarde is then shown kicking a speed bag in an Army gym. An officer informs him that the commanding officer found out about Skodwarde's involvement in the Kumite and wants to speak to him. Skodwarde tells the officer he wants to take a shower first, only to go AWOL instead.

Skodwarde goes to the Tanakas' house to say goodbye to his mentor and remembers back to his training days. A flashback sequence shows a younger Skodwarde being goaded by two schoolmates to steal a sword in Mr. Tanaka's house. As Mr. Tanaka and his son Shingo return to the house, his schoolmates run away, leaving Skodwarde behind. Shingo easily subdues Skodwarde, but Mr. Tanaka calls him off and sends him back to his studies. Tanaka then tells Skodwarde that the sword cannot be stolen; it must be earned. Skodwarde explains that he was not stealing, but trying to put the sword back in its rightful place. Tanaka uses the sword and cuts off the bill of Skodwarde's cap, who does not flinch during the ordeal. Impressed by his "fighting spirit", Tanaka explains to Skodwarde's parents that he intends to train their son in exchange for not reporting him to the police. Despite being used for a "punching bag" by Shingo during training (at one point Shingo insults Skodwarde by calling him a "round-eye"), Skodwarde saves Shingo from two bullies at school. Shingo confides in Skodwarde that one day he would make his father proud by going to the Kumite. After Shingo's death years later, and despite initial resistance to the idea, Tanaka agrees to train Skodwarde as a member of the Tanaka Clan.

Back in Bikini Bottom, two military law enforcement agents (Army Criminal Investigation Division) are summoned to track down and arrest Skodwarde for desertion.

After arriving in Hong Kong, Skodwarde befriends fellow contestants fighter Ray Jackson and Victor Lin, the latter of whom acts as a manager/liaison for Jackson and Skodwarde. Lin explains that the tournament is "anything goes," and that there are three ways to win:

Knock your opponent unconscious;
The opponent submits and shouts "matté", or
The opponent is thrown out of the fighting area.

In order to prove he is part of the Tanaka clan, Skodwarde is invited to perform the "Dim Mak" (the Touch of Death or Death Touch). Skodwarde executes this move to perfection and his invitation is honored. Jackson and Skodwarde soon become great friends, with the older Jackson acting as a big brother of sorts to Skodwarde.

Skodwarde eventually becomes involved with a female journalist, Janice Kent, who is attempting to investigate the secretive Kumite event. Skodwarde believes the Kumite is for the fighters only, and not for the people who read newspapers. As the tournament progresses, Skodwarde beats all of his diverse opponents, including fighter Sadiq Hossein, and sumo wrestler Pumola. He advances to the third and final day of the tournament to face the defending Kumite champion, Chong Li — a man with the tendency to cripple and sometimes outright kill his opponents on the platform, and who has also hospitalized Ray Jackson during the second day of the Kumite. When Skodwarde gets the upper hand during the fight, Chong Li blinds him with a handful of quicklime, but Skodwarde trains his senses to overcome the handicap and makes Chong Li shout "matté" to become the first Western winner of the Kumite. The film closes with Skodwarde returning to Bikini Bottom with Spongebob and Sandy shaking their heads realizing that this episode was a reinterpretation of the 1988 Jean-Claude Van Damme movie Bloodsport.

That was fucking awesome. I love that movie.

The scene opens up to a shot of Mr. Krabs and Pole in the dining room of their home. They are eating TV dinners. Mr. Krabs drops his spork and looks up at Pole.

Mr. Krabs: Enjoying your dinner, my precious baby girl? I made it myself.

Pole: If you call pressing a few buttons "making", I guess I have no choice but to enjoy it.

Mr. Krabs: *smack Pole upside her head on onto the floor* You little bastard! You know what I just found out today?! I found out you have Maxed out on your credit cards AGAIN!! Do ye know how much money thatta be costing me, girl?! *cracks her a few more times with his big meaty claws*

Pole: Waaaahaaaah! Daddy stop it! You're embarassing me!

Skodwarde enters the scene at blasts Krabs with his pew pew eye lazors.

Mr. Krabs: IMMAH FIRIN ME LAZOR! MOAR!

Skodwarde: *iz blasted by Krabs' shoot de whoop technique but uses god powers to deflect it back, assploding Krabs* Usually the character I portray would stop at nothing to kill Pole, but this is no show and this is no laughing matter. A child is abused and embarassed a hundred times each and every day. Often times child abuse could result in injury, psychological trauma, bad future parents and even death. Do your part because knowing is just half the battle.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the maker behind Skodwarde and the Make A Wish Foundation

Episode 15. Sleepy Time/SUDs

One night, Skodwarde decided to stir shit up as usual by using his god powers to invade people's dreams. Skodwarde first invades Patrick's, who is dreaming about riding a vibrating sex doll. The doll stops vibrating so he puts in another quarter to get it moving again. Skodwarde arrives on the scene and proceeds to use his god powers to drop Patrick's last quarter down a random storm, leaving the pink starfish to his fate. Skodwarde then invades the dreams of Pole, who is dreaming about giving Octavius Rex a blowjob. Skodwarde uses his god powers to make Rex to cum to hard, causing Pole to over fill and jizz through her blowhole. He leaves Pole to her fate and jumps on over to Mr. Krabs' noodle, where he is dreaming about gold digging. Skodwarde uses his god powers to summon a gigantic animated penis to rape Mr. Krabs and continued on his way. He invaded Sandy's dream next and raped her while skydiving before letting her plummet to the Earth below. Skodwarde set a course for Spongebob's dream but takes a wrong turn at alberquerqe and ends up in Gary's dream. Gary, still remembering what Skodwarde did to him in "I Was A Teenage Gary", uses his mind to take control of his dream, granting himself dream powers. After an epic battle involving god powers and dream powers, Gary manages to knock Skodwarde out with a blunt object, prompting Skodwarde to wake up and realize he was having a bad dream. He turns to see Gary at his bedside, who proceeds to spin a spinning top that doesn't stop spinning. Skodwarde realizes he's trapped in Dream World, and spends the rest of the night taking clarinets up the ass.

One day, Spongebob takes part in a late night conjugal with Patrick. Skodwarde here's the noise coming from next door and proceeds to use his god powers to infect Sponge with the SUDs, a sexually transmitted disease. Skodwarde watches his scheme unfold as Sandy finds out about this and fights with Spongebob over having unprotected sex with Patrick, who claims to be a certified Love Doctor. Patrick gives Spongebob a once over but it does no good, prompting Sandy to bring Spongebob to a real doctor. She beats Patrick to a bloody pulp and brings Spongebob to Dr. Gil Gilliam, who gives him the Sponge Treatment. Skodwarde infects Patrick with the suds too and he is given the painful Starfish Treatment. Skodwarde spends the rest of his day listening to some Lou Reed. Sandy subjects Spongebob to an intense BDSM session. Patrick also sues Dr. Gilliam, but settles for a quarter to kickstart his vibrating sex doll again.

Episode 16. Valentine's Day/The Paper

One day, it was Valentine's Day in Bikini Bottom, and Skodwarde decided to sir shit up as usual by using his god powers to play Cupid and force people to fall in love with each other. He matched up Mr. Krabs with Pole, Mrs. Puff with Plankton, and Bubblebath with Larry the Lobster. He stirred even more shit by making both Patrick and Sandy fall for Spongebob. When forced to make a decision, Spongebob chooses Sandy, leaving Patrick heartbroken. Patrick proceeds to go on a raping rampage across the boardwalk before being calmed down by the chocolate hot air balloon that Spongebob gives to him which was intended for Sandy. Sandy gets her panties in a twist and leaves Spongebob. Patrick gives Spongebob a ride home *wink wink*. Skodwarde is then zapped away by his secret admirer, Queen Jellyfish.

One day, Spongebob finds a stray piece of paper and proceeds to play Beethoven's Third on it. Skodwarde, fascinated by such a simple device, tries his hand at it but fails miserably, even with god powers. Skodwarde prooceeds to give Spongebob sexual favors to take the device and he finally obtains it, not finding it fun almost immediately afterwards. Patrick strolls along and uses the paper to wipe his ass before giving it back to Skodwarde. Skodwarde spends the rest of his day listening to some Butthole Surfers.

Episode 17. Arrgh!/Rock Bottom

One day, it was a slow day at the Krusty Krab, so Spongebob and Patrick invited Skodwarde and Mr. Krabs to play a sexual board game with them to pass the time. After 8 hours of awkward sexual confessionals, Mr. Krabs reveals why his name is Krabs before finally winning the game. Feeling the rush of excitement and momentum coming off of his win, he invites the boys to join him on a "treasure hunt" in search for some "booty". Skodwarde declines the offer and leaves the three on their own, but decides to stir some shit up as usual. He uses his god powers to make their "compasses" shift to the west, leading them to a lesbian club. Spongebob, Patrick, and Krabs are cock blocked while Skodwarde spends the rest of the night watching the Pirates of the Caribbean.

One day, Spongebob and Patrick had a fun time at Glove World and were looking to catch a bus back home. Skodwarde catches wind of this and uses his god powers to mess up the bus schedule. Spongebob and Patrick are picked up and literally hit Rock Bottom.Spongebob goes to check the bus schedule, but Patrick manages to catch the bus, not bothering to stop it and tell Spongebob until he rides right pass him. Spongebob is now stranded in enemy territory alone. After some undersea hi-jinx involving giving tongue to the locals and vending machines,one of the locals decides to blow into his ballon, providing Spongebob with ballon travel. As he flies off, Spongebob offends the guy by giving him a stereotypical Rock Bottom thank you. Meanwhile, Skodwarde uses his god powers to convince Patrick to go back for Spongebob and does so just as Spongebob flies on in. Spongebob leaves Patrick to his fate. Skodwarde spends the rest of his day playing some Super Nintendo. Patrick gets tongued by the Rock Bottomites.

Duke Nukem wrote: Skodwarde spends the rest of his day listening to some Butthole Surfers.

Best ending, like, ever.

'tis a dare, lads.
Episode 18: Tex-Ass/ Walking Small

One day SpongeBob and Patrick were making phallic sand sculptures which brought Sandy many memories from her whore days in Texas which made her run off to her dome all depressed and started to play emo metal. SpongeBob and Patrick wanted to stop Sandy from cutting herself. After seeing this, Skodwarde decided to interfere and told SpongeBob to shake his Tex-ass which infuriated Sandy so she ran after the three of them to rape them. They got to the Krusty Krab to find out that it has been transformed into a strip club to cheer Sandy up where Skodwarde was working that pole like you have no idea. Sandy stayed in Bikini Bottom and Skodwarde went home to try on many thongs for his next show.

Plankton was at Goo Lagoon yelling at everybody to GTFO cuz he was going to built some Mega Bucket and shit. After a little kid almost stole his germ-infested toy truck, SpongeBob stepped on him as he was steppin' on the beach doo-doo-doo. SpongeBob was about to get some ice cream when Skodwarde used his god powers so there couldn't be any more ice cream for him.Plankton saw this and was determined to teach SpongeBob how to be assertive, meaning, more badass. After a bunch of failed attempts thanks to Skodwarde's god powers, he decided to stir shit up by making SpongeBob all evil and badass so SpongeBob started humping a bunch of random beach-goers which made people to run off in fear, when SB started noticing that this was all Plankton's plan he decided to not give a damn and started humping Skodwarde uncontrollably, so Skodwarde told him to fuck off after ya know, 4 hours or so, and went home to listen to Revolution 9 over and over again.

Skodwarde's Short Shorts #1 Crossing The Street

One day, Skodwarde was out on the town when he caught wind of an old lady trying to cross the street. Skodwarde decided to give her some support and used his god powers to push her out into oncoming traffic. Feeling non-unsurely fulfilled, Skodwarde went back home to play some Crazy Flasher on the Internet.

Episode 19. Fools In April/Neptune's Spatula

One day, it was April's Fool Day in Bikini Bottom and Spongebob was pulling juvenile pranks up the yin yang. Everybody in town soon grew tired of his bad jokes. After Spongebob fools Skodwarde by offering free deals on AOL, Skodwarde decided to stir shit up. He used his god powers to construct an elaborate death trap for the playful sponge. Spongebob gets swung around the Krusty Krab before being turned into a sausage of all things. Everybody cheered Skodwarde on as Spongebob ran off in humiliation. Skodwarde didn't appreciated this, so he swung all of them around the Krusty Krab before turning them into sausages of all things. Skodwarde was then greeted by the celestial spirit of his mother, who gave him a congratulatory spanking before telling him, "you stink!" Spongebob spent the rest of his day watching more amoebe porn.

One day, Spongebob and Patrick visited a museum where they laid eyes on Neptune's golden dildo, which was lodged in a butt-shaped rock. Spongebob went to strike a pose next to it but unintentionally pulled it out of the butthole. Skodwarde, who was checking out the Holocaust exhibit, neared witness to the event as King Neptune blasted onto the scene using his god powers. Neptune Compared penis sizes with Larry the Lobster before demanding who found his dildo. Everybody points to Spongebob and Neptune just laughs it off before comparing penis sizes with Larry again. Patrick interrupted their convo to tell him about Spongebob but Neptune used his god powers to make Patrick talk out of his ass because all Neptune was hearing was bullshit. Neptune then challenged Spongebob to a salad tossing competition. Skodwarde and Mr. Krabs betted all their money on Neptune while Patrick told Spongebob that he'll eat lightning and crap thunder. Neptune used his god powers to toss that salad while Spongebob tossed one. Everybody was disgusted by Neptune's methods so Spongebob was declared the unimous victor. After losing his bet, Skodwarde challenged Neptune to a clash of the titans. Neptune wasn't interest until Skodwarde used his god powers to reveal that Neptune had no penis. Neptune fought Skodwarde with his Roman Lazor Beams while Skodwarde fired back with his pew pew eye lazors. Neptune released the Kraken and there were a lot of casualties. Skodwarde used his ultimate technique, Ultima, to wipe out the arena and Neptune's hair. Neptune made a hasty retreat while Skodwarde basked in his suremacist glory. Skodwarde then went home to watch the remake of Clash of the Titans but was disappoint.

Episode 20. Hooky/Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy II

One day, Spongebob and Skodwarde were working at the Krusty Krab as usual. All seemed well before Mr. Krabs came carving into the restaurant covered in sweat and a stain on his crotch. He blathered on about THE HOOKS for about a good 30 minutes before being calmed down by Spongebob, who wants to know what Krabs is talking about. Krabs proceeds to tell him about THE HOOKS. THE HOOKS are fishing hooks with provocative and scantily clad fish as bait known as "hookers". Krabs encountered a hooker and proceeded to pay money for sex before being snagged up mid-intercourse. Krabs said he managed to escape the grip and plummeted down on a bunch of school kids, "making it rain on them at the same time." Krabs warns Spongebob to stay away from THE HOOKS or else he'll be reeled up and made into tuna covered in his own "mayonaise". Krabs leaves to recuperate before Patrick enters the scene, telling Spongebob about the carnival that just came to town. Spongebob is reluctant at first, but Skodwarde uses his god powers to convince Spongebob to play hooky and go along with Patrock in order to get rid of him. Spongebob and Patrick leaves while Skodwarde heads home to play his kazoo. Patrick takes Spongebob through a shortcut that leads straight to THE HOOKS. Once there, the hookers entice them, and gives Patrick a ride. Spongebob cock blocks them before high tailing back to his home sweet pineapple saying, "Ah, home sweet pineapple". Spongebob takes a bus to the carnival. Skodwarde tosses out his kazoo. Patrick is then mailed over to his house vacuum-packed into a can of tuna, asking random passerbys for a can opener.

*commercial*
The scene opens up to a shot of a luxury yacht somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, not far from shore.

Donovan Quartermaine: Ladies, gentlemen, honored guests, all of you! We here at Main Petroleum Inc. would like to thank you all for attending this little get together tonight. Our stocks continue to skyrocket and our business is ever expanding more than ever. The demand for oil is at an all time high, and it is my pleasure to announce that we shall meet those demands when we expand our reach and resources to both the east AND the west! We have been given the greenlight to break ground in the vast Pacific Ocean, a vast oil in itself.

The crowd gives their applause at this new business development

*The scene shifts to a shot of a baby boy cradled in the arms of his mother*
Felix King: I say, Donovan, business sure is about to pick up, huh? This should do wonders for this economy we're in.

Donovan: Yeah, I only wish Ray were here to celebrate with us. Wouldn't be a party without him around.

Felix: This boy of your's is looking might healthy. Congrats yet again, dear Barbara! To the both of you!

Barbara: Thank you, Felix! This little bundle of joy is destined for some big things some day.

Felix: Not too big I hope. Haha.

Donovan: My son, soon everything I have built up here, this company, will be yours to take charge of. You'll be doing the world a whole new world of good.

Felix: What's the lad's name?

Barbara: It's-

An explosion is heard as a raging inferno soon engulfs the room. Barbara uses her body to shield the baby. The yacht is then seen blowing up as debris and shrapnel soar like fireworks in the air before crashing into the ocean below. The baby is then seen descending deep into the dark depths. A hand grabs hold of him and whisks away. The scene then shifts to a shot of Neptune's kingdom. Neptune is seen in a conference with the other deities.

Neptune: The boy has no home, no parents. He has loss everything and everyone dear to him. I beg you all to allow permission to do this!

Jupiter: Alright, so be it! The boy shall be placed under your care until he is old enough to venture out into the world on his own. But I'm telling you, brother. I do not like the idea of this, not one bit.

The scene shifts to a shot of Neptune with a now fourteen-year old boy.

Boy: But I don't wanna leave you. I don't wanna leave this place! The world up there offers nothing. They're the very ones ruining our home!

Neptune: I understand that you feel this way, but the fact of the matter that this is not your true home. You are not even supposed to be permitted here. Your home is up there, with your fellow man.

Boy: Ah screw them. Man are the reason fishes are dying and losing their homes.

Neptune: But you could change all of that, my son. You can do something that I can never do. You can make the change, be the difference. Bridge the gap between man and fish in ways I can never dream of being.

The scene shifts to a shot of a man in a large office, consulting with a few scientists.

Raymond Sullivan: Gentlemen, this company has come a long way since the stone ages it was founded in. We have rigs in every single body of water imaginable and the demand for oil and fuel continues to rise. The demand for fish has gone up even higher. I know that we have the technological means to do this whole planet a world of good. It's all in a matter of you all finally getting the sticks out of your asses, and go that extra mile make sure that there is a constant and strong supply!

Sluggsworth: But this, what you're telling us to do is just plain inhumane, Ray.

Raymond: Inhumane my eye, we're trying to preserve our way of life here. Not just our lives, but everybody elses on this God forsaken planet.

The scene cuts to a shot of the boy, who is now a man, dawning a mask. Clips of him fighting the likes of The Sinister Slug, Jumbo Shrimp and the Atomic Flounder is shown. A clip is then shown of him fighting Kelp Thing.

Mermaidman: My duty is defend the innocents from the likes of you!
Kelp Thing: You defend these pitiful creatures as if they were one of your own. How could you possibly choose the lives of these-these FOOD over the lives of your fellow man?!

Mermaidman: I am not choosing them over anybody. I shall defend any and every innocent life, be they fish or man, from those who dare wish to threaten them, from the likes of you!

Kelp Thing:... Then you have already lost.

Clips of Barnacle Boy are then shown.

Raymond: To be honest with you, I've never been prouder of the boy!

Mermaidman: You really are a heartless prick, aren't you?

Raymond: I call him how I see him and right now, I'll even go so far as to call him...a man.

Clips are then shown of an oil rig exploding.

Mermaidman: Come along, young ward!

Dirty Bubble: Oohmhmhmhm!

"Champion of the Deep"...coming July 2011...
*commercial ends*

One day, Skodwarde was eating eating some cereal when a conch shell came crashing down into his bowl of cereal. With his breakfast ruined, he went out to get some breakfast at the local diner. Meanwhile, Spongebob was watching his favorite Saturday morning cartoon, "The New Adventures of Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy". Spongebob prepared for the even by eating his favorite cereal, "The New Adventures of Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy Brand Cereal" while wearing his official "The New Adventures of Mermaidman & Barnacle Boy Brand Dentures". A Real Live Fish Head popped up on the TV to announce the winner of some contest. Spongebob, having entered the contest, listens in. Springboob Squirepin is announced the winner as Spongebob goes to cry in a corner. Fish Head then announces that due to being arrested for child pornography, Springgboob couldn't claim the prize so Spongebob was announced the runner-up for his AMV. A conch shell was then delivered by Gary Coleman (too soon?) and Spongebob proceeded to blow on it on impulse but nothing happened. About 45 minutes later, Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy finally arrived on the scene. Spongebob then had them do his chores and give him a hand job. They then strike a deal with Spongebob to take him out on patrol with them in exchange for the shell, which Spongebob foolishly agreeing on the terms. After an afternoon involving attacking old men and painting the boat mobile black, they take Spongebob for breakfast at the local diner. Skodwarde catches sight of them and conjures up a Dirty Bubble to dispose of Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy right when they were about to ditch Spongebob, who was trying to fine The Butthole Surfers on the jukebox. Spongebob heads outside and pops the bubble with his erecting penis, excited at the thought of meeting the Dirty Bubble. Skodwarde bursts onto the scene to confront the senile duo. He proceeds to fire pew pew eye lazors at them while Mermaidman fires back with his waterballs and Barnacle Boy shoots off some barnacles from his pants. Once again backed into a corner, Skodwarde uses his god powers to cause the invisible boat mobile to assplode, using the distraction to make a hasty escape. Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy takes Spongebob for some more Vietnamese while Skodwarde plots some revenge plots for Skodwarde Season 2.

Now that's a wrap!

Daddy's back, sweethearts...

Episode 21. Your Shoes Untied/Skod's Day Off

One day, Skodwarde woke up and noticed the animation looks different than it did in previous episodes. He takes a look outside the window and takes in the changes for the new season. He could see that Spongebob was watching some Anemone Gone Wild and used his god powers to ruin Spongebob's happy time by untying his shoes. Patrick comes barging into Spongebib's casa with a new pair of Sketchers, asking Spongebob how to tie his new laces. Spongebob forgets since his shoes has been tied since birth like his mother's tubes were tied. Spongebob heads out for some advice but no one in town seems to wear shoes. He meets up with an eel, but sadly she was only anneel and was no help. The Flying Dutchman barged in and taught Spongebob how to be naughty before telling Spongebob that he hasn't had sex in over 5000 years! Spongebob heads home unfulfilled and contemplates living life without his shoes. Right when Spongebob was gonna go hang himself, Gary came in with a new pair of Sketchers Z-Straps for Spongebob. With his plot foiled once again, Skodwarde tunes into some Zevo-3 on Nicktoons.

One day, after an a freak accident involving god powers, spare change, and Mr. Krabs, Skodwarde is left in charge of the Krusty Krab. Skodwarde could care less and decided to give himself the day off. He uses his god powers to summon over another driving rock and prepares to hit the town. Spongebob insists that he wants to come and decides to bring Sandy along for the ride. After undersea high-jinx involving god powers, police chases, carnival crashing, bubblebaths, saving Spongebob from drowning, and Sandy making out with a fish version of Charlie Sheen, Skodwarde and company races back to the Krusty Krab in order to get there before a fully recovered Mr. Krabs. Skodwarde streaks past Krabs, who suffers another heart attack. Spongebob drops Sandy back off at the Treedome before taking off to the Krusty Krab. They make it back and realizes that they forgot to switch the open sign to close. They spent the restbof the day breaking the fourth wall and satisfying the angry krustomers.

Episode 2. Something Smells/Bossy Boots

One day, Spongebob decided to celebrate Skodwarde's success at the Community Spin-Off Awards by throwing an ice cream sundae breakfast on Sunday morning. Skodwarde doesn't show up and uses his god powers to give Spongebob the "Ugly". Everybody was scared off by Spongebob except for Patrick, who loves Spongebob regardless. Skodwarde watches his plot unfold as Patrick proceeds to tell Spongebob the tale of the Ugly Barnacle, who was sooo ugly that everyone died. Spongebob contemplates suicide but is taken to the movies with Patrick, who wants everybody to look at his penis, whipping it out and saying "Look at it!" Patrick catches the Ugly as he too scares everybody out of the bathroom. Spongebob and Patrick come to terms with their ugliness before watching that new Winnie the Pooh movie together. Skodwarde, feeling unsurely fulfilled, also goes to see that new Winnie the Pooh movie but is given the Ugly when he is hugged by Spongebib and Patrick.

One day, Mr. Krabs placed Pole in charge of the Krusty Krab in order to make it marketable to the tweenage population. Pole puts some more junk in the trunk and gives the place a whole new paintjob, rebranding it as the "Kuddly Krab". Skodwarde is not amused at a pole being in charge of him, so he uses his god powers to make the rebranding a failure, taking away the Krabby Pattie and serving only salad and tea. Skodwarde proceeds to use his god powers to rip off his uniform in front of the children. Spongebob confronts Mt Krabs and is forced to fire Pole himself. Pole cared less and proceeded to take her friends to a Justin Beaver concert down by the lake. Skodwarde proceeded to spend the res of his day watching the Andy Milonakis Show.