Favorite Quote?

It's simply a straightfoward topic. Post your favorite Spongebob quotes and make sure you tell who said that and what episode it was from.

"Well, Mr. Krabs... do you know what I think? ...BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH MR. KRABS. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH MR. KRABS'S WALLET. (walks away muttering angrily)." - Spongebob
Episode: Krusty Love

"Business is booming." - Squidward, Bubblestand.
The entire ending scene from "Dying for Pie".
"I order the food. You cook the food. Then the customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years and then we die!" - Squidward, My Pretty Seahorse.

(Dying for Pie)
MR. KRABS: You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears, and you kill him. How are you gonna live with yourself?

(Blackened Sponge)
SPONGEBOB: WHOO! FOOTBALL!

"Nagging software? I heard that! Come dust my screen." - Karen
Episode: Enemy-In-Law

"I love you." - Patrick
"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT'S ALL THE YELLING?!" - skeleton fish

-Both from Chocolate With Nuts.

"Stupid inflatable pants!" - Patrick
Episode: Patty Hype

"If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu." - Squidward
Episode: Spongebob vs The Big One

(Wigstruck)

SQUIDWARD: Can't you see how ridiculous you look?
SPONGEBOB: Well, I think it looks cool.
MR. KRABS: Ha! You wouldn't know cool if I locked ya in the freezer.
SPONGEBOB: For your information, Squidward has locked me in the freezer. So I think I know what cool is.


(To SquarePants or Not To SquarePants)

SPONGEBOB: 'Have you ever been convicted of a felony?' Hmm, what's a felony?
SQUIDWARD: Being to darn happy all the time.
SPONGEBOB: Oh yeah, lots and lots of felonies.

Just way too many to name. xP

SQUIDWARD: Why did he attack me that time?
SPONGEBOB: I don't know! I guess he doesn't like you!
(paraphrased )

From "Nature Pants": Squidward: "He took off his pants." Sandy: "I'll give him a week." Squidward: "I'll give him eleven minutes." Patrick: "Patrick SAD!!!!" /
Sandy: "There he is, Patrick. Say your line." Patrick reads from script: "Why thank you Sandy, I'd love one. (Take Patty.) Too bad Spongebob isn't here, these are his favorite. I sure wish he'd come home. (Take bite.) I can't do it! Spongebob, come back!" Spongebob: "Patrick, I'm not coming home." Patrick: "I miss you, Sandy misses you, even Squidward misses you!" (Scene cuts to Squidward partying at his house, celebrating Spongebob's absence.) /

I'll post more from a different episode another time.

4EverGreen wrote:From "Nature Pants": Squidward: "He took off his pants." Sandy: "I'll give him a week." Squidward: "I'll give him eleven minutes." Patrick: "Patrick SAD!!!!" / Sandy: "There he is, Patrick. Say your line." Patrick reads from script: "Why thank you Sandy, I'd love one. (Take Patty.) Too bad Spongebob isn't here, these are his favorite. I sure wish he'd come home. (Take bite.) I can't do it! Spongebob, come back!" Spongebob: "Patrick, I'm not coming home." Patrick: "I miss you, Sandy misses you, even Squidward misses you!" (Scene cuts to Squidward partying at his house, celebrating Spongebob's absence.) /
I'll post more from a different episode another time.

You obviously know you have an enter button, so what's with the wall of text?

Already been mentioned, but Dying for Pie. "The boy cries 'ya a sweater of tears. And ya' kill him. How are you gonna live with yourself?" And then too many to name from Chocolate with Nuts, and Wet Painters.

From the movie:
Spongebob: Now how do we get inside...?

Patrick: I know, walk in and ask for it.

(off-screen)Tough guy: What are you lookin' at?!?! *punching*

Spongebob: Patrick, that's a terrible idea. >_>

Patrick: Sorry. ._.

that70sguy92 wrote:Just way too many to name. xP

SQUIDWARD: Why did he attack me that time?
SPONGEBOB: I don't know! I guess he doesn't like you!
(paraphrased )

"Pretend to be somebody else!" after that just kills me every time.

[on phone] Is this the Krusty Krab?

Patrick: No, this is Patrick. *whistles*

[on phone] Is this the Krusty Krab?

Patrick: No, this is PATRICK.

[on phone] Is this the Krusty Krab?

Patrick: NO! THIS IS PATRICK!
I'm not a Krusty Krab...

Spongebob: Um...Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.

Patrick: Oh...Fish paste!

Spongebob: But sir, she snuck up on me. In my own dojo.
Mr Krabs: Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?

From Karate Choppers

(Frankendoodle)

DoodleBob throws a bowling ball, Patrick's head turns into a bowling pin and gets a strike.
SPONGEBOB: You okay, Patrick?
PATRICK: FINLAND!!!

"Steppin' on the beat! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin' on the beat! Doo-doo-doo!" - SpongeBob, Walking Small

Simply posting the text really doesn't do it justice, but whatever.

From the same episode, I also like, "You used me... for land development! THAT WASN'T NICE!"

Plankton: And you know what I really want more than anything in the whole wide world?
Spongebob: A booster seat?
Plankton: A booster seat? HOT DOG! ...I mean.. no..

(Walking Small)

SPONGEBOB: Excuse me, sir. You're sitting on my body which is also my face.
PLANKTON: No, no, be assertive!
SPONGEBOB: (sticks his finger in man's pocket) Beep-beep.
PLANKTON: (facepalms) Not INsertive!


(Dying For Pie)

SQUIDWARD: Sunset...
FLASHBACK MR. KRABS: The way I see, the lad's got until sunset before that bomb hits his lower-intestine.
SPONGEBOB: Hey, it's Mr. Krabs! Hi Mr. Krabs!


(Christmas Who)

SQUIDWARD: My wish is for the people of Bikini Bottom to stop listening to inane dribble that is constantly streaming out of this dunderhead's mouth.
SPONGEBOB: Gee, Squidward, maybe Santa will bring me a dictionary so I can understand what you just said.

Sandy: Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4.

Mr.Krabs: MOAR!

Just kidding, i love this one.
Squidward: Why couldn't the 11 year old get in the pirate movie?
Mr. Krabs: Why?
Squidward: It was rated "R!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! R! It's...just...about...pirates.
Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying you to do stand up, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work!

And this
Spongebob: Squidward's father never hugged him, isn't that sad?
Mr.Krabs: Yes, I suppose that is rather sad, but Squidward can hug himself during his break. Now get back to work!

Squidward: Opposite day.. next time it'll be 'Go Jump Off A Cliff Day'.

---

Spongebob: Gary! Help me! Help me! Oh, merciful Neptune, I closed the window on my head!

From "Toy Store of Doom":

SpongeBob: It was nice knowing you pal.
Patrick. I know. I'm an interesting guy.

More.

Spongebob: Patrick, get a jar.
Patrick: *Takes out a pickle*
Spongebob: Patrick that's a pickle.
Patrick: Yes.
Spongebob: ... You need a jar.

- I'm With Stupid

And then a ton of Wet Painters quotes that I won't even bother with.

(Band Geeks)

PATRICK: Is Mayonase an instrument?
SQUIDWARD: No, Patrick, mayonase is not an instrument.
PATRICK: (raises hand)
SQUIDWARD: Horse-radish is not an instrument either.
PATRICK: (lowers hand)

Old Lady: Excuse me, but do you know where the menu section is?
Patrick: *drooling* Uhhhhhh...
Spongebob: The menu section? That's easy. It's over that way. *pulls out spatula and booming thunder is heard*
Old Lady: HOLY SMOKES! *runs off*
Patrick: Rude. D:<

Ep: Neptune's Spatula

Squidward: Alright, listen up men. Squilliam Fancyson will be here in twenty minutes, therefore we need to turn the Krusty Krab into a fancy restaurant as soon as possible... Patrick, what are you doing here?!

Patrick: I thought the Corps would help me straighten out my life, SIR!

-Squilliam Returns

Spongebob: Let's see. In the movie, the robot's didn't have a sense of humor! They couldn't laugh. Hey, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: (runs up to the counter) What is it, boy?
Spongebob: Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you'd might like to hear it.
Mr. Krabs: Is it true, Squidward? Is it hilarious?
Squidward: Um.. yeah, sure..
Mr. Krabs: Well, let's hear it, lad.
Spongebob: Okay! Here it goes. Uh, how'd it go, Squidward?
Squidward: (chuckles nervously) Uhh, it went, umm, uhh, let's see, uhh...why couldn't the eleven-year-old get into the pirate movie?
Mr. Krabs: Why?
Squidward: It was rated "Arr"! (R) *rimshot, laughing hysterically, laughing then slows down because Mr. Krabs wasn't laughing* Ehm... Because it's.. about...pirates.
Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying you to do stand up, Mr. Squidward! Now, get back to work!

Ep: Krab Borg

(Krab-Borg)

SPONGEBOB: Hey Mr. Krabs!
MR. KRABS: What is it, SpongeBob?
SPONGEBOB: Squidward's father...never hugged him. Isn't that sad?
MR. KRABS: Yes, I suppose that is rather sad, but Squidward can hug himself during his break. Now get back to work!

Mr.Krabs: Don't you know when you're being ignored?
Squidward: You're the only one talking.

Ep: Dear Vikings

(Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V)

BARNACLE BOY: I'm crossing over to the Darkside.
(points to the other side of the restaurant which is dark.)
MR. KRABS: Why should I waste money lighting the whole store?

(From "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy 1") Mermaid Man (to Spongebob) : "If you don't get out of here, than by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!" (Male Nurse Fish enters into the room) Male Nurse: "What's going on here?!" Mermaid Man (pointing to Spongebob) : "You may kiss the bride!" (Spongebob gets kicked out of Shady Shoals and rolls all the way to Patrick's rock.) Patrick: "Did you reunite our heroes?" Spongebob: "No, but I married." / I'd post more but it's late where I'm at, so I'll do it another time.

4EverGreen wrote:(From "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy 1") Mermaid Man (to Spongebob) : "If you don't get out of here, than by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!" (Male Nurse Fish enters into the room) Male Nurse: "What's going on here?!" Mermaid Man (pointing to Spongebob) : "You may kiss the bride!" (Spongebob gets kicked out of Shady Shoals and rolls all the way to Patrick's rock.) Patrick: "Did you reunite our heroes?" Spongebob: "No, but I married." / I'd post more but it's late where I'm at, so I'll do it another time.

While this is probably my least favorite episode of Season 1, that was the best quote from that episode and it had me laughing hard xD.

"Did you hear that patrick? He said the P word!"
"Peanuts?"
"No, Please!"
"Well, I guess he's all regergatated"
"Uhh, rehabilitated"
"Gadzunetight"
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"What's gonna happen? am I gonna blooow up?"
"NO! They'll go right to your thighs!"
"...my thighs?"
"Then you'll blow up"
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"And besides ive got check with little poodles on them!"
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"I lost me bet!"
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"My leg!"
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"Dude! Put that thing away there are like.. children here!"
*shoves his stomach down to his feet*
"I'm going to the snack bar!"
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"I just gotta act natural"
*toilet bowl opens up and reveals a sponge floatng in it*
"oh that's real nice..."
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"I....am a man *holds up shaver*"
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"OUT OF THE WAY CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S GONNA KICK MY BUTT!"
*people turn and look at an old fish*
"Hi there nice day we're havin"
"So you like kickin butts do yah? Well we'll show you old man!!!"
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"For decades this belt has helped the falling of nations....and pants"
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"So long shrimp!"

ive got alot more but I'm not gonna bore you all

PrehybernationPantera wrote:"Dude! Put that thing away there are like.. children here!"
*shoves his stomach down to his feet*
"I'm going to the snack bar!"

I like you already.

score one for the boys back home! haha

(Survival of the Idiots)
PATRICK: That's not disturbing, this is disturbing. (turns his back into a face) 'Hi there, SpongeBob. My name is Pat-Back.'
SPONGEBOB: Ha! That is really disturbing.

Forgot about this one...

(Nasty Patty)
MR. KRABS: Okay, I confess! SpongeBob killed him!
SPONGEBOB: What?! You can't pin this whole wrap on me!
MR. KRABS: He was insane! Outta control! He would've killed me too if you hadn't come along!
SPONGEBOB: It was all Mr. Krabs's idea!
MR. KRABS: Put him down now! He's a mad dog!
SPONGEBOB: HE WEARS CURLERS TO BED!!!

That's what the Edit button is for, kthx.

NegiSpongie wrote:Forgot about this one...

(Nasty Patty)
MR. KRABS: Okay, I confess! SpongeBob killed him!
SPONGEBOB: What?! You can't pin this whole wrap on me!
MR. KRABS: He was insane! Outta control! He would've killed me too if you hadn't come along!
SPONGEBOB: It was all Mr. Krabs's idea!
MR. KRABS: Put him down now! He's a mad dog!
SPONGEBOB: HE WEARS CURLERS TO BED!!!

Wait! It's not what you think!

Fry Cook Games

(Spongebob is training for the Fry Cook Games and Patrick walks up while Spongebob is doing push ups.)

Spongebob: Krusty Krab. Krusty Krab.
Patrick: Are you trying to move the ground... you'll never move it like that you gotta get underneath it! (Rips up a patch of grass.)
Spongebob: Come one Patrick I'm trying to get ready for the games.
Patrick: Games can I play?
Spongebob: Sorry Patrick you gotta be a fry cook. (Grabs a jump rope and starts jumping rope.)
Patrick: Be a frycook is that all I gotta do? That will be easy. (Spongebob then lets go of the jump rope.)
Spongebob: What do you mean easy?
Patrick: Oh come on your just flipping patties.
Spongebob: Hey flipping is not as easy as it sounds.
(Patrick flips a rock and goes.)
Patrick: Sssss.

Only been here for a couple days and I can say I like this kid already Don't like the WWE as much now but I watched it alot when I was a kid. Only then it was the WWF. Hogan Ruled the world and Macho Man wasnt snappin into a slim jim yet

SpongeBob: But I'm a spo—
Plankton: DON'T SAY IT!

(From "The Fry Cook Games") Spongebob: "Patrick, why don't you just go back home? You can compete in the 'Laying-Under-a-Rock-Games." Patrick: "At least I don't polish my fingernails!" Spongebob gasps: "You take that back!" (Fingernails shine brightly) Patrick: "Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!" Spongebob: "You don't even HAVE any fingernails, Patrick." Patrick gasps: "I can NOT believe what I am hearing!" Spongebob yells: "How can you hear?! You don't have any ears, either!" Patrick struggles: "Duh...holes, holes!" Spongebob: "Conehead!" Patrick: "Yellow!" Spongebob: "Pink!" Patrick: "I am going to get a job as a fry cook, and it will be easy!" Spongebob: "Fine!"

From Patty Hype:
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?
Patrick: Yeah.
SpongeBob: What's the matter?
Patrick: I can't see my forehead.
So random, so good.

(Nasty Patty)
MR. KRABS: You loony loofa, he is the imposter! We've been duped!
SPONGEBOB: DUPED!
MR. KRABS: Bamboozled!
SPONGEBOB: We've been smeckledorfed!
MR. KRABS: That's not even a word that I'd agree with ya!

(Imitation Krabs)
SPONGEBOB & PLANKTON: Meatball, meatball, spagetti underneath! Raveolli, raveolli, great barrier reef!

Squid On Strike:
Spongebob: Hey Squidward look. We forgot to change the closed sign to open. It's almost like we could have taken the whole day off. DAHAHAHA!

All from Spongebob, Sandy and the Worm:
Spongebob(with a male squirrel mask on talking with a southern accent): Sandy, this is your papi speaking, and I forbid you to go after this worm. Yall come back here young lady.
Sandy: You ain't my pa.

Sandy: I'll catch your worm. That is if you're willing to pay.
Mr. Krabs: NO. You'll never get a cent outta me. I'd rather that worm come out here right now, and eat you all alive (drooling).

Sandy: Ooooooh. This is the tongue and the whole thing is the worm. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!

Patrick: We should take Bikini Bottom, and push it someplace else.

person wrote:Squid On Strike:
Spongebob: Hey Squidward look. We forgot to change the closed sign to open. It's almost like we could have taken the whole day off. DAHAHAHA!

lol squid's day off

Patrick: I CAN'T FEEL MY LOOKING HOLES!