Spambox 2

asdsasdsaesdrftr3wed

Clappy wrote:Hmm, that's three posts today Mr. Tvguy.

I WANT TO RUUUUN
I WANT TO HIDE
I WANT TO BREAK DOWN THE GAS I'M HOLDING INSIDE...

I don't.

Wumbology wrote:I don't.

LIES!

Holy crap, Clap. I could totally hear that guy in your avatar when you said that.

JCM wrote:Holy crap, Clap. I could totally hear that guy in your avatar when you said that.

OBJECTION! How can you hear when his mouth is frozen in one position?

Post 8400! Now just 1200 more posts until I catch up with other people that post too much.

Clappy has a

phoenix wright-South Park Avvie

double

post

Clappy wrote:

Wumbology wrote:I don't.

LIES!

I want to see your papers!

Wumbology wrote:

Clappy wrote:

Wumbology wrote:I don't.

LIES!

I want to see your papers!

Erm...well those papers...are located...

Clappy wrote:

Wumbology wrote:

Clappy wrote:

Wumbology wrote:I don't.

LIES!

I want to see your papers!

Erm...well those papers...are located...

OLD SCHOOL 70S WOO

been ballin since the word ballin played out

they brought it back to describe me in at mayback

there ain't no reason that you should be alone tonight

yeah baby, tonight yeah baby! but I've got a reason that you-hoo should take me home tonight! ♫

I need a man who thinks it's right when it's so wrong, tonight yeah baby, tonight yeah baby, right on the rim is where we both we know we belong tonight

Post #1

Post #2.

Post count +2, my work here is done.

Elastic Dog wrote:

Clappy wrote:

Wumbology wrote:

Clappy wrote:

Wumbology wrote:I don't.

LIES!

I want to see your papers!

Erm...well those papers...are located...

OLD SCHOOL 70S WOO

OLD SCHOOL SANTA DOG WOO

PCU +1

DR.DOOM PLAYS WITH HIMSELF, STARRING DRRRRRR VICTOR VONNNN DOOOOOM!

*Applause*

BABY YOU

GOT WHAT I NEEEEED

WHEN YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND

SO MANY GIRLS IN HAYR
WAYR DO EYE BEGAIIIN

...WHERE DEM GIRLZ AT

SUPERENALOTTO 2011 PREMIO
DEPARTMENT EDIZIONE DEL
INTERNET VIA GARIBALDI
3521000 ROME,ITALY.

Attention: Email Owner,

Your Email has been selected among
nominated Winning email for a cash price of
800,000.00.Euro.cash from Italian Government
on-line pro-gramme held for the month of
August 2011. The selection process was carried
out through random selection through our
computerized
email selection system from database of over
250,000 email addresses drawn from all the
continents in which your email was among the
first ten (10) lucky winners. Our European agent
attached to your draw will immediately
commence the process to facilitate the release
of your funds as soon as you contact him/her.
***************************************
FOR DUE REMITTANCE AND PROPER CLAIMS
Name:Mrs Antonio Jolie
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Provide the following under-listed information
for
due remittance of funds;
1.Full Name:
2.Residential Address:
3.Age:
4.Sex:
5.Mobile Tel:
6.Occupation:
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10.Alternative Email :

Congratulations on behalf of Italian
Government Financial Department.And special
thanks to
Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi for a
Wonderfully Support for this SUPERENALOTTO.

Yours Truly,
Mr Steven Mavadio

---
Spam mail, you so silly.

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Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single morning
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ah

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseparable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I hate sauerkraut

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandary
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

I think I'll try defying gravity.

And you won't bring me down!

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DON'T BRING ME DOWN!

YA HOOO HOO!

I'LL TELL YOU ONCE MORE

BEFORE I GET OFF THE FLOOR

DON'T BE BRING ME DOWN


(done from memory, so some lyrics might be wrong)

[the following is done purely from memory]

WE'RE IN THE CROWD
WE'RE C-COMING OUT
GOT MY FLASH ON IT'S TRUE
NEED THAT PICTURE OF YOU
IT'S SO MAGICAL
WE'D BE SO FANTASTICAL

LEVER AND JEANS
WE'RE QUITE GLAMOURS
NOT SURE WHAT IT MEANS
BUT THERE'S PHOTOS OF US
DON'T HAVE A PRICE
READY FOR THOSE FLASHING LIGHTS

CUZ U KNO THAT BABY I
I'M YO BIGGEST FAN I'LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME
PAPAR, PAPARAZZI
BABY THERE'S NOT OTHER SUPERSTAR, YOU THAT I'LL BE
YOUR PAPA, PAPARAZZI
DON'T MISS ME, I'LL BE KIND
BUT I WON'T STOP TILL THAT BOY IS MINE
BABY YOU'LL BE FAMOUS, CHASE YOU DOWN UNTIL TO LOVE ME
PAPA, PAPARAZZI

tvguy347 wrote:DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DON'T BRING ME DOWN!

YA HOOO HOO!

I'LL TELL YOU ONCE MORE

BEFORE I GET OFF THE FLOOR

DON'T BE BRING ME DOWN


(done from memory, so some lyrics might be wrong)

DON'T BRING ME DOWN, BRUCE

Garfield strips I've memorized by heart:

6/19/78

Jon: Hi, I'm Jon. I'm a cartoonist, and this is my cat Garfield.
Garfield: Hi, I'm Garfield. I'm a cat, and this is my cartoonist Jon.
Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you.
Garfield: Feed me.

6/20/78

Jon: Happy birthday, Garfield. I have a surprise for you. A rubber mousey!
(Garfield eats rubber mouse)
Garfield: Could've used a little salt.

6/2?/78

Jon: A mouse! Get it, Garfield! Garfield, you didn't even try!
Garfield: Show me a good mouser and I'll show you a cat with bad breath.

?/??/78

(Garfield sitting on TV)
Garfield: Ahhh... Happiness is a warm television set.

Balls.

Garfield strips I've memorized:

*Jon mutters inanity*
*Garfield insults Jon*

---

*Garfield sees spider, squashes it*

---

*Garfield walks past "Beware of Dog" sign with strange modification, laughs at the stupidity of the sign*
*little does he know that the sign forewarns exactly what it says, in a surprising twist*

---

Talking scale/mouse/Nermal/Jon: LOLZ FAT JOKE