The Joy of Hex vs. Squid's House of Sand and Fog

by **Sabre** 10/25/2010, 4:37 am

I want to enter a Halloween special in the Halloween spin off thing, but I have two. I would like it if you could read them then vote for which is better....... I'll post the first one here and the next one on a separate post (Could someone add a poll because I suck)

The Joy of Hex

Patrick: (He’s in his house sat on the couch when his phone rings) Hello

Spongebob: Hey Pat I just wanted to phone to remind you that tonight is the Krusty Krab Halloween Party you gotta costume?

Patrick: (Nervous) Umm Yeah

Spongebob: Ok well I’ve got to go see you there (He hangs up)

Patrick: I’VE GOTTA GET A COSTUME!! (He runs out of his house and to the Costume store he runs inside) Do you have any Halloween costumes left?

Shop Assistant: Sorry pal you just missed the last one

Patrick: Darn it I’ll just have to make one (He runs back to his house)

Spongebob: (He’s in the Krusty Krab putting up Halloween decorations) I can’t wait until I see all the peoples faces when they see the decoration they look so scary right Squidward?

Squidward: If you want scary why don’t you just stand at the front door for people to see you?

Spongebob: Oh Squidward you kidder

Flying Dutchman: (Way above the Krusty Krab The Flying Dutchman’s ship is floating past) Ahh there’s nothing like giving a good scare on Halloween but I don’t know what costume to wear (He floats to his quarters and starts throwing clothes out his wardrobe) No no no no (He takes one out and looks at it) Ahh no (He starts to sweat) Gosh it sure is hot today (He floats to the window and pushes it open) That’s better (He walks back to the wardrobe and starts throwing the clothes again he doesn’t notice that a bag entitled “Magical Curses” blows out the open window he steps out the wardrobe wearing a new outfit) I haven’t wore this outfit in over 1,000 years (He sees his bag has gone) Where’s my bag (He sees the window open and goes to look out of it he sees it floating to the ground)

Patrick: (The bag floats to the ground in front of Patrick’s house when Patrick walks out of his house) I hope this costume will be ok for the party (He spots the bag of dust) What’s this? I’ll go ask Spongebob wait he’s at the party I’ll just go see Sandy (He walks off while getting dressed into his costume at the same time)

Flying Dutchman: (Still looking out the window) I’ll never get that magical dust back now (He looks to the side to see that his boat is about to smash into some rocks) AHHHH!!! (He leaves his quarters and quickly hovers to the wheel but it is to late it smashes into the rocks and crumbles making the Dutchman fall to the ground) NOOOO!!!! Wait I can fl… (He smashes to the ground next to Squidward’s house) Oww my head (He looks up and sees a trail of his dust going over the horizon) My dust (He hovers following the trail of dust)

Patrick: (He is knocking on Sandy’s door) Sandy, Sandy are you there? (He knocks one more time until walking around the back and walking inside) Sandy? (He wanders further into the Treedome until he reaches a machine) I guess she’s not here (He rests the bag on the machine unaware that it’s pouring into it) I suppose I’ll go to the party now (He steps forward)

Flying Dutchman: (He smashes through the Treedome and grabs Patrick) At last I’ve got you
Patrick: AHHHH!!! (He falls to the ground but he gets picked up again) What do you want from me?

Flying Dutchman: Oh you’ll see (He hovers away with him)

(The bag falls off the machine hitting a bit of glass from the dome making it rebound and hit the “ON” button on the machine)

Spongebob: Where’s Patrick? everyone’s starting to arrive (He looks at his watch) He better hurry

(The machine turns on and starts up)

Machine: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (The machine explodes making a green light seep through the whole city)

Mr Krabs: (Walks up to Squidward) Mr. Squidward why aren’t you wearing yer costume?

Squidward: I don’t want to wear a stupid “Elastica” costume it’s a girls costume

Mr Krabs: Look around Squidward everyone else is

Squidward: Yeah there all idiots (The Green light sweeps through the Krusty Krab destroying it everyone is unconscious but gradually everyone starts to wake up) What the hell happened (The TV turns on and everyone looks at it)

Flying Dutchman: (He appears on the screen) Hello citizens of Bikini Bottom I’m sure your wondering how handsome I look but maybe not as much as your wondering why you have turned into your Halloween costumes

All: WHAT!!! (They all look up and down themselves and are extremely shocked)

Flying Dutchman: Do not be alarmed you have until Midnight to find a way to get back to normal or you will stay the way you are FOREVER goodbye

Spongebob: Right are any of you witches? So then you can reverse the spell (They all shake there heads)

Squidward: Why don’t you just…. (Spongebob’s cell phone rings)

Spongebob: Yello (He realises that it’s a video of Patrick) Patrick

Patrick: Spongebob what’s happened I’ve turned into a witch

Spongebob: Buddy where are you?

Patrick: I’m captured on the flying Dutchm… Ahh NOOO!!!

Flying Dutchman: Give me that (The video turns off)

Spongebob: We need to hurry

Squidward: Why should I care?

Spongebob: Squidward look at yourself

Squidward: (He looks down to see that he is made entirely out of elastic) AHHH right let’s go (The clock chimes it is 11 o’ clock)
Spongebob: We only have an hour (They all run outside but to there horror thousands of fish who have turned into zombies are heading towards them) Why did they have to open a store that just sales zombie costumes?

Mr Krabs: Save me boyo (He is being stood on by a zombie) Help

Spongebob: I’ll save you Mr Krabs (He looks up to see the flying Dutchman ship flying over head) SQUIDWARD QUICK JUMP

Squidward: Very well (He jumps but stretches Spongebob, Mr Krabs, Squidward and Sandy all grab on and fling up behind Squidward until they all smash into the bottom of the Dutchman’s ship)

Spongebob: (He gradually wakes up) Are you all ok? Gosh it’s so dark in here (He gets a candle and lights it he throws the match behind him and it fits through a hole and appears on the main deck of the ship)

Patrick: (He is tied up when he sees the match) What the?

Squidward: (He and Mr Krabs wake up) Where are we?

Mr Krabs: I think were in the hold of a ship

Spongebob: Come on we’ve only got 20 minutes to save the whole town wait where’s Sandy?

Flying Dutchman: Right I need to get these stains out of me Halloween suit I don’t want any tricks from you Witchy so I took yer wand (He hovers into his quarters)

Patrick: (He starts to fall asleep until hears a noise coming from under the ship)

Spongebob: AHHHH!!!

Patrick: That sounds like Spongebob I’ll save him (He hops on his chair and bounces off the ledge smashing through the deck until he lands next to Spongebob) Spongebob!

Spongebob: Can’t talk right now buddy

Patrick: Why not?

Spongebob: SANDY’S A ZOMBIE!!!

Mr Krabs: Wait Patrick just wish that this never happened

Patrick: I can’t The Flying Dutchman took my wand

Spongebob: I’m going in (He puts on his Karate gear)

Patrick: No Spongebob don’t go your be killed

Squidward: Go on Spongebob do it for the city (He laughs)

Spongebob: (He runs towards Sandy and visa versa they both do Karate on each other)

Squidward: Hurry up Spongebob we’ve only got 15 minutes (Spongebob punches Sandy so hard that she hits through the deck and lands on some barrels)

Flying Dutchman: (He appears from his quarters) What’s all this noise (He looks around but can’t see Patrick) That bloated starfish couldn’t of gone far (He hears a noise under the deck) Who’s there? (He looks down the hole to see Spongebob and the rest) You (He tries grabbing them but he misses)

Spongebob: Quick everyone grab onto Squidward

Squidward: Oh great (They all grab onto Squidwards legs)

Spongebob: NOW (Squidward jumps and smashes through the bottom of the ship and he stretches to the ground but the Flying Dutchman is holding onto him)

Flying Dutchman: You can’t get away that easily

Patrick: Oh can’t we (Sarcastic voice)

Flying Dutchman: No you can’t

Patrick: Oh sorry I thought we could

Flying Dutchman: (He pulls Squidward and all of them fling back into the ship) Back so soon? (Laughs)

Spongebob: (He spots the wand behind the Dutchman) (Whispering) Squidward see that wand behind him try to reach it

Squidward: Fine (He stretches his hand behind the Dutchman and picks the wand up)

Flying Dutchman: (He turns round and hit’s the wand out of Squidward’s hand it flies out and pocks Patrick in his eye he stumbles back and trips over Sandy) Give it to me NOW! (He shoots over to Patrick)

Spongebob: QUICK PAT USE IT WE’VE ONLY GOT ONE MINUTE LEFT (He starts throwing barrels at the Dutchman and Mr Krabs and Squidward join in)

Patrick: How does it work (He gets hit by the barrel and gets knocked out)

Spongebob: NOOO!!

Flying Dutchman: (He picks up the wand) 20 more seconds (Spongebob runs up to him and tries jumping up and grabbing the wand but he can’t reach) Ha ha ha your never get this wand Spongebob

Squidward: LOOK OUT

Flying Dutchman: What? (The boat is heading towards some rocks) Not again

Mr Krabs: (He runs up to the wheel and spins it) That should (They crash into the rocks) work (They all fall to the ground and land in Sandy’s Treedome)

Flying Dutchman: 5, 4, 3

Spongebob: NOO!!! (He picks up the wand but trips hitting a time machine into the giant machine that spread the curse over Bikini Bottom)

Flying Dutchman: 2, 1 (The machine turns on and the green light spreads over Bikini Bottom making everything go backwards in time they all go back onto the boat)

Spongebob: QUICK PAT USE IT WE’VE ONLY GOT ONE MINUTE LEFT (He starts throwing barrels at the Dutchman and Mr Krabs and Squidward join in)

Patrick: How does it work (He gets hit by the barrel and gets knocked out)

Squidward: What just happened?

Mr Krabs: I think we went back in time

Spongebob: NOOO!!

Flying Dutchman: (He picks up the wand) 20 more seconds (Spongebob runs up to him and tries jumping up and grabbing the wand but he can’t reach) Ha ha ha your never get this wand Spongebob

Squidward: LOOK OUT

Spongebob: I remember now quick the ships about to hit the (It hit’s the rocks and they all fall down into Sandy’s Treedome) rocks

Flying Dutchman: 5, 4, 3

Spongebob: NOO!!! (He runs holding the wand) I won’t trip on you again (He runs up to Patrick and hands him the wand) Pat hurry

Patrick: Umm ok

Flying Dutchman: 2

Patrick: How does it work? (He squeezes the wand and it snaps the two pieces fall into the Time machine and makes the machine go 1 minute back in time)

Spongebob: QUICK PAT USE IT WE’VE ONLY GOT ONE MINUTE LEFT (He starts throwing barrels at the Dutchman and Mr Krabs and Squidward join in)

Patrick: How does it work (He gets hit by the barrel and gets knocked out)

Squidward: What just happened?

Mr Krabs: I think we went back in time

Spongebob: NOOO!!

Flying Dutchman: (He picks up the wand) Ha ha ha (The Time machine appears and lands on top of the Dutchman the wand pieces fall out)

Spongebob: What the? Quick Pat grab the wand

Patrick: (He walks up to The Dutchman and takes the wand) I wish none of this ever happened (The wand lights up and explodes)

Title Card: The next day before the time that all this happened wait wasn’t it before oh forget it

Spongebob: Hey Patrick

Patrick: Hey Spongebob
Spongebob: I got to go to work I’ll see you tonight

Patrick: What a boring week (He sits down and something breaks in his pants) Oh great I’ve broke my butt again (He pulls the wand out of his pocket) Where did this come from? I sure could do with a Hamburger right now (A hamburger appears but a fish version of Hitler is holding it) What I didn’t want a fish I just wanted a Hamburger

Fish Hitler: Es ist Meine Hamburger vere am Ich?

Title Card: Next week….

(Bikini Bottom is a bomb site everyone is slaves)

Squidward: This is what happens when Patrick has a magic wand he causes time paradoxes

Patrick: But I did get a Hamburger

Squidward: Well that makes it all better then (He gets whipped) Oww

Patrick: It sure does Squidward it sure does

by **Sabre** 10/25/2010, 4:39 am

Squid's House of Sand and Fog

Spongebob: Hey Patrick I found one

Patrick: (He looks around) Where?

Spongebob: Over here (Patrick walks over to Spongebob then looks through seaweed)

Patrick: It’s beautiful

Spongebob: It sure is…

Patrick: LETS CHASE IT!!

Spongebob: Umm.. Ok (They both get there nets out then chase after it) Hurry Patrick

Squidward: (It flies over Squidward’s house they both run inside his house) What the?… SPONGEBO… oh what’s the point (He sits down on his couch while Spongebob and Patrick run out of his back door and continue chasing the Jellyfish until it flies into it’s hive)

Patrick: (He continues running while looking up and he smashes into the tree making the hive fall down besides Patrick, He stumbles backwards and accidentally on the hive squashing it) Uh oh

Spongebob: (Spongebob and Patrick are standing besides a dug hole which they place the hive containing the Jellyfish) Good night Sweet Princess (Patrick starts to cry)

(Under the ground the Jellyfish start to move, they realise there trapped so they all hit the ground digging deeper and deeper. They bury under Squidwards house and carry on digging in the direction of the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: (In the Kitchen) Hey Karen has the Chum arrived yet to make the Chum burgers

Karen: (Off screen) Yeah it has but I don’t know why you need it you haven’t ever had a customer

Plankton: That’s all I needed to hear (He jumps into the sink and turns the faucet on) I don’t want my dirty hands touching the chum well not yet anyway (No water comes out) Come on you stupid… (It shakes then all the Jellyfish burst out and start going crazy hitting and destroying all of Planktons inventions) AHHHHHH!!!

Squidward: (He’s still sitting on his couch when under his house the ground starts to crumble and his house falls underground)

Plankton: (A jellyfish stings Plankton making him feel queasy and stumbling back he hit’s a drill like object with the label “Drill Bomb” on it starts up and drills a hole in the ground gets stuck underground. It starts beeping and flashing the flashing gets faster then it explodes)

Squidward: Nothing can ruin my perfect day (He doesn’t realise that he’s underground and that the bomb is sweeping through the tunnel and towards Squidwards house it reaches his house and pushes it further into the tunnel) What’s that? (He gets up and looks out of his window) AHHHHH!! HELP MEE!! (It keeps pushing it until the house stops and pocks up out of the ground, Squidward opens the door of his house and falls out) What, Where am I? (He sees a squid on the other side of the road so he walks up to him) Excuse me sir where am I?

Squid: Why your in Tentacle Acres

Squidward: Not again

Squid: What you’ve been here before why did you leave? It wasn’t because of the LOVELY NEW OWNERS THAT HAVE MADE THIS PLACE REALLY, REALLY GOOD (He winks at him)

Squidward: No why did you start shouting?

Squid: I don’t know (Whispering) Please save us

Announcer: WILL NUMBER 143256 REPORT TO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY

Squid: Oh no that’s me you’ve got to help us (He walks off)

Squidward: Well that was weird

Title Card: 2 hours later….

Squidward: (He gets into bed when the phone rings) Hello

Voice on Phone: How was your day Number 15478

Squidward: It was ok but very weird what did you do with that other squid?

Voice on Phone: Oh don’t you worry I’ll show you real soon (Evil laugh) Just come visit my office I have a surprise for you

Squidward: Can’t I have some sleep first?

Voice on Phone: NOOO! My friend (He puts the phone down)

Squidward: Well I better get ready (He gets out of bed)

Lord Ooberton: When that stupid squid comes then I will have every squid under my control and there’s no way I can be destroyed when I turn them all into ROBOTS wait not robots I meant BUNNIES what the hell not bunnies VAMPIRES who will power my empire with the blood they get (Evil Laugh)

(All the squids are tied up above a cauldron of green liquid)

Squidward: (He approaches the office and opens the door) Hello? (He sees all the squids tied up) What are you doing

Lord Ooberton: Hello number 15478

Squidward: I’m getting out of here (He runs towards the doors but they are locked)

Lord Ooberton: I wouldn’t do that (He pulls a remote out of his pocket and turns it on and off making the door open and close and he throws the remote of the window)

Squidward: (He starts hitting the door) HELP ME!!

Lord Ooberton: No one can hear you

Squidward: What do you want from me?
Lord Oobeton: Oh your see (He gets a knife and cuts a string making the squids fall into the green liquid)

All Squids: AHHHH!! (They hit the green liquid)

Lord Oobeton: VAMPIRES GET HIM!!!

Squidward: Vampires?!?! (The squids gradually start getting out of the liquid and walk towards Squidward and gather around him) NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Lord Ooberton: NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW

Spongebob: Hey Patrick have you seen Squidward?

Patrick: He’s right here (He points at Squidward who is facing a different direction)

Spongebob: Hey Squidward (He turns round but it’s not Squidward it’s a zombie) Wow Squidward you look rough

Zombie Squid: GAGHH AHW WAH

Spongebob: I agree

Lord Ooberton: GET EVERYONE MY VAMPIRE SLAVES

Patrick: Y’wha..?

Spongebob: Patrick run there all Vampires (They both run to the Krusty Krab)

Patrick: Hurry up Spongebob there heading towards up (They both run inside and Patrick boards up the Krusty Krab)

Mr Krabs: What’s wrong laddy?

Spongebob: VAMPIRES!!!

Mr Krabs: There’s nothing wrong with Vampires I occasionally suck blood at times

Spongebob: Mr Krabs? (He looks behind him to see that a Vampire had crawled through the floorboards and bitten Mr Krabs) PATRICK RUN!!!

Patrick: What? (Mr Krabs is behind Patrick about to bite him but Spongebob grabs Patrick and runs to the entrance)

Spongebob: Quick Patrick take the boards down (Patrick begins taking them down) Hurry Patrick (Patrick picks Spongebob up and smashes through the doors he trips up and rolls over he goes so fast that he goes into the Chum Bucket he stops then gets up) Patrick were in the Chum Bucket

Patrick: Eww (He gets up and opens the doors he sees the vampires standing there) Uh oh (He slams the door but the Vampires smash through the door) AHHHH!!! (He runs to the Kitchen where he sees Plankton standing at the garbage bin)

Plankton: What are you doing in my Kitchen?

Patrick: V-V-Vampires

Plankton: What? (He looks through the door and sees the vampires breaking down the door Spongebob bursts through the kitchen door)

Spongebob: Quick bolt the doors (He starts picking up boards and nailing them to the door) We should be save in here

Plankton: GET OUT!!!

Spongebob: But Plankton Vampires

Plankton: I don’t care if there’s vampires out there

Spongebob: But there is

Plankton: Just get out my Kitchen before I call the cops (He looks behind to see vampires breaking through the glass of the back door) AHHHH!!! (He tries to take the boards town from the door just as Lord Ooberton walks inside)

Lord Ooberton: Greeting gentlemen do me a favour Sheldon and don’t scream while your turning into a vampire I have an awful head ache

Plankton: H-H-How do you know my name?

Lord Ooberton: I know all the names of my victims husbands

Plankton: Victims, Husbands? (He looks at Karen she is a vampire computer)

Lord Ooberton: Your precious wife will help me sent data waves across the ocean to turn everyone in the entire ocean to be my minions (He laughs)

Plankton: NOOO!!! (He runs up to him)

Lord Ooberton: GET THEM!!! (The vampires start to walk towards the three of them) Excuse me Karen dear, Can I just adjust you settings a minute?

Karen: Go ahead master (He starts pressing buttons)

Spongebob: Quick Plankton you can fit through the gap in the top of the door then when your through you can unlock the doors for us

Plankton: Ok (He jumps up on top of the door and fits through the gap)

Spongebob: Right now all you have to do is open the door and we will be all safe Plankton? PLANKTON?

Plankton: I just can’t let that happen, when you next see me I’ll be the owner of the SECRET FORMULA!

Spongebob: WHAT! No Plankton please NOOOO!!!!

Patrick: Where’d he go?

Spongebob: I don’t think he’s coming back Patrick (He looks behind him to see a Vampire on top of Patrick) PATRICK LOOK OUT

Patrick: What (He sees him) AHHHH (He gets bitten)

Spongebob: Patrick NOO!!! (He runs up to Karen who is loading)

Karen: 20 seconds remaining until shockwave is activated

Spongebob: (He stands next to Karen and starts hitting buttons) Come on turn off

Plankton: (He walks into the Krusty Krab) Krabby Patty Formula here I come (He walks up to it)

Karen: (Off-screen) HELP, HELP

Plankton: MY KAREN’S IN TROUBLE (He drops the formula and runs to the Chum Bucket, he bursts though the door)

Karen: 3, 2.…

Plankton and Spongebob: NOOOO!!!!!

Lord Ooberton: YESSS!!!

Karen: 1 ACTION INVALED

Lord Ooberton: What went wrong?

Squidward: This (Squidward emerges from behind Karen

Plankton and Spongebob: SQUIDWARD

Squidward: I was controlling Karen to do all that stuff

Lord Ooberton: Bravo but you forgot one thing

Squidward: What?

Lord Ooberton: Umm you forgot to um ZAMPIRES GET HIM (They all start to surround the three of them) I didn’t want to do this but you leave me no choice (He pulls a button out his pocket he presses it) Ha ha ha ha

Plankton: What did you just do?

Lord Ooberton: Oh I’ve just dropped a bomb containing the gas to turn everyone in the sea into my slaves

Squidward: Well that was good (The bomb is about to hit the ground when Lord Ooberton covers himself with a force field) See you fellas (The bomb hit’s the ground and spreads through the ocean)

Plankton: AHHHH!!!! (Everyone is knocked out on the floor)

Title Card: 7 minutes later….

(Everyone Vampires wakes up to realise there walking towards a massive black hole)

Lord Ooberton: Go Go and sacrifice your life and destroy the sea then I will be conqueror of the WORLD!

(Gradually every Vampire in the entire ocean starts to fall into the black hole)

Lord Ooberton: Hurry up I can’t stand here for hours (He starts pushing all the vampires into the hole)
Lord Ooberton: (Plankton is the only one left) Go in you little twerp (He runs over to Plankton and picks him up) Wait he’s not a vampire

Plankton: That’s right I snuck into you force field when the explosion happened

Lord Ooberton: Well goodbye anyway (He throws him over the edge and into the black hole) (He turns around) Ahh now to RULE THE WORLD (Plankton jumps out the black hole and onto his head and starts kicking and punching it ) GET OFF ME !!! (Plankton jumps off his head and lands behind him, Lord Ooberton stumbles backwards and trips over Plankton he falls down the black hole) NOOOO!!!

Plankton: That’s the last were be hearing from him (He walks back to the Chum Bucket)

Lord Ooberton: (He keeps falling down the hole until he appears at the Krusty Krab) What where am I?

Patrick: You are at the Krusty Krab master

Lord Ooberton: But, but, but (He pulls a gun out of his pocket) NOBODY MOVE!!

Spongebob: But master (He aims the gun at Spongebob)

Lord Ooberton: I mean it stay back

Sandy: We would never hurt you master we do exactly as you say to do we would never to anything bad

Lord Ooberton: Wait here and don’t move (He gets a bomb out his pocket and puts it in the middle of everyone) Stay here and don’t move (He presses a button on the bomb then runs outside) Ha ha ha

Bomb: 10 seconds remaining

Spongebob: What should we do?

Mr Krabs: Our master told us not to move

Squidward: Ok lets not move (They all stand around the bomb while it counts down)

Plankton: (He’s in the Chum Bucket) Hey Karen (She doesn’t answer) Hello Karen? (He walks behind her and turns her on the green shockwave spreads through the ocean turning everyone back to normal)

Bomb: 3 seconds remaining

Spongebob: What happened wait that bomb’s counting down

Everyone: AHHH!!! (Everyone picks it up and throws it out the back of the Krusty Krab) Pheeww (The bomb rolls down the hill and next to Lord Ooberton)

Lord Ooberton: They bomb should go of anytime (He spots the bomb) now uh oh (It explodes and he flies into the air)

Plankton: Wait a minute I need to go and see if everyone’s survived (He runs into the Krusty Krab two cops are standing in his way)

Police officer: Sheldon J. Plankton you are arrested for attempted murder

Plankton: What? I didn’t set the bomb it wasn’t me (They cuff him and drive him away) I’M A HERO

Spongebob: Ahh I’m just glad everything’s back to normal

Squidward: (He’s still a vampire) I’m sure glad it is

Spongebob: Uh oh HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE